This just happened to me. Went on a date with a girl. She expressed how she was super glad she met me and SHE stated how she wanted to set up a day to hang out again and get massages together. When I followed up with her about it, she ghosted me. Still active on social media and even deleted me off of it. All I see now is a massive character flaw. I won’t play into that immaturity.
You're judging her by masculine standards. Accountability and follow through are masculine qualities. It may be comforting in the short term to be with predictable women but it makes them more masculine. - Andrew, TFM Team
If a girl ghosts you after a “good date” , its because: 1. She had a great time, but didn’t really feel a romantic connection or the right vibe. 2. She didn’t enjoy the date , but lied to you for safety reasons. 3. There is someone else in the picture. Maybe she got back with her man, or there is another guy she likes better. Bottom line : This girl did not ghost him because she’s scared about liking him. She ghosted him because she’s not interested/doesn’t like him.
@@charlespresbury2290 ye but you don't get Brian's lesson. And You having those answers means you're already certain of what she think. Already judging her. Why not think positive. Like she's nervous....
@@vaultvon2126 I wouldn’t say judging. More so interpreting the situation in my own. But if the girl would communicated from the beginning , interpretation wouldn’t be necessary. I’m not thinking negative. I just think it’s unlikely that a woman would just ghost someone after a good first date out of nervousness. If they do, they are not very mature. Overall, I do get Brian’s message, but I just don’t fully agree with it. If she’s not mature enough to fully communicate from the beginning, I don’t want to deal with her.
It's relative and subjective, Steve. Yeah, there are some obvious flaws but it's also been a positive for many. Beef up your photos with action photos of you and see if this helps. Landon, TFM
@@mujanayi64 definitely a major character flaw bro. The story is me and a coworker went on a date and I’ve done this a million times so it was just another night out. She even told me I look like I can have any girl I want while we were out . Beforehand at work, she agreed to go on the date but we weren’t going back to my house or anything. When we got done with the date I said we were going to my house she couldn’t even say no lol . When we got there I said let’s go upstairs and she complied then i put a movie on and I put her hand on my dick. She gave me crazy head lmao, she wanted to fuck but I didn’t have a condom so she said next time. The next day at work she didn’t even look my way and hasn’t texted me since it’s been a week lmao wtf
I really think she was intimidated by me because I seduced her and she couldn’t even stop herself and it was the first date.. she probably wants me to chase her a little but I ain’t doing shit lol
Man! It's so depressing reading all these first date stories in the comments, repeatedly getting ghosted myself, I think I'm done with dating for a while 😅
It gets discouraging at times, Evan. Sometimes it is a good idea to go inward a bit, or focus on yourself in some way (e.g. building your great cake of a life as Dr. Glover call it). Thanks for the comment. Landon, TFM
Great advice again, Brian. And to the dude that sent in the question, good job on planning a great date and showing a woman such a great time that she is speechless. Even if you don't hear from her again, she will never forget that date. Cheers to you bro!
Similar thing happened to me. Took this girl on a date on Friday night and it was an absolute blast. We were on a group pub crawl and were having fun and then she wanted to break off from the group so we could hang out just the two of us. We sat in an empty bar for about an hour and a half talking, laughing, and holding hands and I thought we really connected. We even had a really deep, intellectual heart to heart conversation that went really smooth and felt good. We got home and I hugged her and we kissed a little bit before I left her apartment and she told me to text her so we could hang out again before the weekend was over. Texted her the next day no response. Waited one more day texted her again and she said she was busy 4 hours later. Not really sure what happened between the end of our date and now but I’m just so confused.
She told you to text her and you did. In her head you weren't challenging enough and demonstrated you had nothing better going on over the weekend. Even if you didn't, you should have acted as if you did. I know you don't want to play games, but that's all women do. Even the ones who swear they don't, which is meta beyond their comprehension. She was testing you to see if you would comply, and you did like a champ. Unfortunately that is what labeled you as boring in her mind, thus giving her the opinion that you are too easy to get. Flip the script, and mirror their behaviour. Tell them what they want to hear, the same way they tell us what we want to hear and don't act on their word.
bourgeoi_c well I texted her later that night when I got home saying I had fun with her and stuff. That must have been where I went wrong. After that I waited 2 days to text her she said she was busy that day. A few days after that she texted me asking to hang out after work (we work together) so we did for a few hours and it was nice. Since then haven’t heard from her. Don’t know if it’s my turn to put in effort or hers, or if I should forget this whole thing since it feels like it’s not going anywhere
Pohler Express keep the first dates low cost and always try to go in for a kiss and ask her back to you place, basically always try to initial the intimacy so you know if she’s exhale interested in you or not. If she is she’ll sleep with you most likely.
nope. wrong analysis. The date went TOO well. Too many things the guy did for her the first time. All wrong... Movie, ice cream, way too much for the first time.
Happened to me today! Was thinking we had natural chemistry and this could go somewhere. But she never replied to my follow-up. Ghosting triggers the worst feelings, makes you feel inadequate and start to over-analyse everything. I know the best thing to do is nothing and move on. But i will try to message this one on her Facebook. I can see how this will come across and i'll make myself look creepy/hurt. But would appreciate any feedback in the unlikely event they'll even reply.
There is only one person in this world who can define your value and that is you yourself. You don't know why she's not responding and regardless of her reason for doing, it by no means defines your qualities.
Thesame shit happened to me recently and I guess I'll just let it slide even though I like her so much. She said I'm too caring😞. WTF that's how I was made and I don't fake a thing. I'll just keep my kindness to myself on the next one. Think ladies love rude guys I guess
As woman we would not do that if we felt a romantic connection/spark. That is not how we work, if we feel something we are drawn to you not the other way around
I had a first date which went for 6 hours and we were making out and hand holding all the time. Talking about very personal things. She pmed me next say and thanked me for the great evening. I never saw her again.
As humans we find a easy way to over complicate things, wait a little time after first date and suggest a phone call, ask them out again & if they ignore I guess they aren’t interested 🤷🏽♂️
I was chatting with this girl for about 3 months now we're both busy during this time and finally met up last week. We were supposed to just head off late lunch drinks and see what happens. So she came to my place had a few drinks then headed off to the restaurant for early dinner/drinks. Then went for a quick stroll around city then head back to my place for more drinks and both admitted that we like each other and she even slept in my bedroom and we even had sex before we sleep and the next morning too. She was a bot worried that I might ghost after sex but told her no I'd be around for her and she hugged me. After 2 days I messaged her about 2nd date. She simple replied "I know I'll reply to you tomorrow x" Then I saw her story she posted this poem saying like "when u feel like giving up u just have to keep going" ?? Then it's been 3days now. No reply but she always view my stories?
I'm paraphrasing another YT coach when I say that he should've waited a few days to ask about seeing her again. A little eager-appearing = possibly scaring away these commitment-phobe modern babes. Hold back a smidge; "keep your powder dry": Create a little wonder / mystery.
I'm in the same boat, excellent first date.. She kept texting after we kissed and I dropped her off, I invested my time and money only to get flaked n ghosted. Someone show me a good bridge to jump off of plz lol
@@paulypipes3082 she eventually hit my line saying "I been thinking about you" she realized aint no good niggas left n she finally hit my line but I was cool by then she tried to treat me like a Rebound
Sometimes I think women get so comfortable in there particular life that they don’t want anything to change it…. They were having a blast but she is just okay with her current situation but could have had something better! Just decided not to but ultimately scared of change and I feel that too sometimes
💯 true facts, she may have a man in the back ground… you may have been a distraction 😢but do not chase. If she does not respond to you just let it go, if you really like her then be honest but don’t let emotions affect you, and you’re just caught in the game.
Why the hell you texted her after? If she really interested one you she would text the same nigh , if not that's mean she has low interest on you. you made the effort already by taking her out
Same goes for me,it's been quiet a time that we have known each other we had an unofficial first date I really fealt a connection and everything was great we decided to go on another date 2 days later,but one day later she texted me and said that she didn't like it and wanted our relation to be platonic,hell if I understood anything.
If a girl ghosts you out . You back of and not sound needy . Text an hour after the date and say you had a good time and if she doesn’t reply move to the next woman
Agreed. Timing of the text doesnt matter imo. Hour or 3 hours after the date, send a text, if she's into you, I guess she will respond (if she's not insane)
Personally I think he did more wrong than right 1. He made the date the next day after meeting I would advise waiting a couple days to set a date with a woman after meeting her. It’s good to anticipate and have her think of the interaction and sets a guy apart because he can give her space and not immediately text after getting contact information. There’s no problem setting a date with a girl on the spot, but the next day was too soon. 2. The date was too long When going on a first date the guy should be cutting it off short and the first date shouldn’t be longer than an hour generally speaking. Get some time to know each other but giver her some time to think about you as well with that limited time. It’s the muscle growth outside the gym mentality I call it, her interest grows outside the dates the most compared to the date itself. 3. He kissed her that’s good to verify her interest for a 2nd date, but talked about a 2nd date too soon This was essentially what deflated most of everything in my opinion. He hits her up the day of after spending quite excessive time with eachother for a first date, it was fun but I would’ve done some of these things all together for a 3rd date or made each date each of the activities they did for the first one. The guy didn’t give her the time of day to wonder about him and where his interest lies rather hits her up the same day after a date asking for a second one? Dude gave her no chance and was to easy. It’s a scientific fact woman are more attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear and that was probably unattractive in her eyes. I don’t think this has to do with "rapport" she obviously kissed him and things were fine. The 3rd act was what really deflated the motion he had going. I’d advise hitting her up one more time and then if she does not answer on to the next. 2 strikes and you’re out..peace!
Seriously, it was an amazing spontaneous hangout. We spent about two hours in my car in the parking lot, talking about all sorts of things and enjoying music that we both love. It felt really deep. Later, I sped down the freeway while she held my hand. We had a great make-out session, cuddled, and exchanged neck kisses! She fucked off completely right after! Evaporated and vanished into thin air
Well she ghosted me for some odd reason, We went thirfting, ice cream, ate and went for drinks. we danced, laughed i definitely had fun but idk about her. what happened????
The first thing he did wrong was texting her the same night after the date trying to plan a second date, u should’ve gave her space to think about u bro and txt her probably 3-4 days latter. Plus u should not call it out you’re just gonna come off weak. Let her come to u, if not then call her 1 week latter.
A few people have already mentioned this but it's worth elaborating again. Texting too soon (or too much) is a date/relationship killer. It makes him look needy and therefore insecure, big turnoff. Interesting point about tension, if a man texts too much, he decreases tension. To combat this, the man will benefit from an abundance mentality when it comes to women and dating (meaning that you know you have other options to pursue if this woman doesn't work out) and don't tell her that, SHOW her. One way you show her is by not texting a whole lot.
Thanks for the reply. I thought that texting too quickly can sometimes give the perception of being needy, I guess it depends on who the person is that you are texting. I'm just curious, what does the relationship between insecurity and not immediately texting back have to do with each other? Honestly, I thought that was the other way around. Thanks.
I had a similar experience. We ended up at hers and got frisky but she refused to have sex saying she was afraid she wouldn't see me again if we did. She replied to my first message the morning I left her place but slowly drifted away. Then two days later she requested to follow me on Instagram and allowed me to follow her back. It's been four days now and no response to my last message. Wtf is going on?
sean sayer These women be hiding their true nature. There’s probably like 20 guys she’s talking to xD She picks the one that makes her the most emotional. I had the same type of thing happen to me. Hung out had a good time. She wanted to go back to her place. We did got kinda physical no sex. (I didn’t want to) I left nothing bad happened. Now, I’ve been blocked on Facebook lol. I sent her 1 text wishing her well. No reply. Lol it’s wack
I had the greatest date--connection and conversation on point - physical chemistry was fire. But I wanted to slow things down and get to know him. My tendency is to pull back and let the man come toward me with his intentions. If everything is smooth I feel like the better thing to do is go on multiple fun outings where you can talk and get to know if you share values and can build a true friendship and bond. If you already have physical chemistry and you are a long term minded match just be consistent in your communication and 9/10 you got her.
He texted her way too soon and probably bugged the shit out of her via text, and she could tell he was a clingy beta so she stopped responding. The fact of the matter is if she likes him she's going to reach out...if not it's her loss and he should move on. I wouldn't bother trying to play investigator. lol----Also dude wtf is on your shirt?
I do it on dates. My answer will be, yes, I am scared. I'm just the type of girl who can't really say no because I'm afraid of hurting your feelings. So if the guy asks for a small kiss, I say yes even if I am not really into it. I just don't know how to say no. After the date I will have my own reflection and realize that I don't really have the feeling, so I will turn less excited and cold towards texting. Also, if guy demands or wants to make out with me on first date, I will be really scared.
Thanks a lot for sharing this here Jenny. It's great for guys to hear directly from women like you. I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings but you might surprised that he might need that exact thing to help him grow. His masculinity will grow through challenge. Notice that you end up probably hurting his feelings anyway but going silent after the date. If you test him by not doing what he wants and he handles it well, you are both going to enjoy the date more. If he doesn't handle it well, you can know for sure you aren't interested and more on cleanly. It's great having you checking out our channel, please post your comments or questions any time! - Andrew, TFM Team
Alex Sutton Too much of an elaborate first date as well. That chick probably went out the next day with a bad boy who took her to a cheap burger joint, and then fucked her because he raised proper sexual tension.
Sosmcs See I say he probably just picked a woman w/ plenty of options & didn’t get chosen. Same thing just happened to me, she texted me the next day & ghosted me few days after that. 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
I matched with this girl on Hinge during the pandemic in Britain. We’ve been talking a month, I wanted to get her out quickly, but I was patient and waited until she was comfortable. So we began using voice notes and had a phone call and we agreed to meet last weekend. Bearing in mind that she didn’t stop laughing on the phone or when we’ve been texting, we have also been flirting and teasing each other, making the interactions fun. So, we finally met, I took the train and she met me at the station in her car. Immediately I went for the physical so I said “come on let’s have a hug”. We went for a good walk where we talked about life in general and I teased her a lot e.g. she knew the area, but one of the paths was incredibly muddy so I said “if it’s really bad I know who to blame”. She didn’t stop laughing at the things I was saying. We went to the store to buy ingredients to cook that night and even that was fun. I made sure I led the way, taking the basket etc. We went back to hers where I cooked a spaghetti Bolognese and where we teased each other and it just genuinely felt like we knew each other already. I went for the kiss, rubbed her nose before and gave her a quick kiss but she seemed shocked and went red so I pulled back. We ate dinner where she found out I liked country and she seemed really into it plus she didn’t stop asking me questions, had a game of scrabble where the banter was flying about how bad the other’s words were. We were making references about future plans. She said something like “well next time I’ll use my dictionary”. Anyway, I kept putting my leg on hers, initiating touch. She took me to the station and before I left, we shared a few kisses where both of us leaned in. She even touched my chest saying “you’re really warm”. I thought bingo. Got home, sent her a jokey message about her car because she’s got her own personalized number plate and then I said “I enjoyed myself today, especially winning at Scrabble with a gooseberry gin” to which she replied “Gooseberry gin was good, Scrabble hmmm…Company wasn’t bad though” with a smiley, cheeks blushing emoji. I replied “10/10 choice by me getting the gooseberry, bet you were sole destroyed at losing”. She’s a shoemaker so I always shoe puns with her to tease. But, she hasn’t replied. She did say she was meeting her friends the day after, but she read my message at 8:30am and was online for most of the day and I didn't get a reply. I truly thought I did everything right.
That's a win man. Stay grounded and don't msg her out of frustration or desperation. She might have felt a little overwhelmed so just stat relaxed and patient and be willing to accept that she had some change of heart possibly. In the meantime, stay focused and productive in the rest of your life and keep initiating good interactions with other women. It's all part of the growth. - Andrew, TFM Staff 2-Day Revealing Process Masterclass - Virtual Event thefearlessman.com/july-2021-revealing The Fearless Man Live - Bucharest, May 8-9, 2021 www.thefearlessman.com/tfmlBuchytcom
@@TheFearlessMan Hi man, she friendzoned me last night. I truly thought there was chemistry there and we got along like a house on fire. I kept trying to touch and escalate things, kissing her. I'm just a bit baffled really and keep analysing over where I went wrong. Clearly there wasn’t enough sexual attraction for her which was my fault entirely
@@callumwalker8183 It's hard to have advice since I don't know the specifics. I'm gonna guess there may have been a fair amount of wanting on your part, like you got excited by the initial success and started kind of "grabbing" to try to make it go further. Learning experience of course. Come to Bucharest man (link I posted above). It's a pretty cheap even and you will get a LOT of insights that will help in situations like this. Brian will be there.
You don't text her right away after the date....you have to let women miss you. Do not act like a chick and ask her if everything is alright? That demonstrates neediness and insecurity.
Guys i had a date yesterday i met the girl on tinder last year but we took time to meet each other we stated we liked each other so tell me why after the date I looked on social media she unfriend me lol then I told her to delete my number then I got blocked on ig did I do anything wrong ?
I went on a date a few days ago and after we texted and she said it was good. And an hour later she stopped texting. Its been like 2 days and she hasnt texted back but is still active on social media. What do i do i really hope she still likes me
Hard to know without getting into depth with you on how both the date and the texts went. But the best thing you can do is develop your abundance mentality by going out and flirting with lots of women
Depends how much were you texting. Went on a date with a girl that responded to my texts in 30 seconds usually. After the date yesterday, she still hasn't replied to my message. So in that case, you just leave it I think.
Hey man just saw your video, and it really brought out other views on what happened yet but I wanted someone else opinion. So we meet up at a fair little awkward but went alright, she gets more into gets flirty, then she and her friend ask me to go camping with them great I’m having a fun time. I go back we drive around have fun then go camping, we get to the spot and she becomes way more flirty touching laughing and having fun. Everyone starts going to bed but she gets in the bed with me great we start to cuddle, not to intensely but cuddling. We start talking about our personalities it gets deep we like all the same things. We stay up all night then when morning comes she leaves. In my mind it went great, so we start texting over a day she became way more reserved, I could tell she doesn’t seem that interested anymore. I hinted towards us hanging out again but haven’t truly asked. I was thinking camping again or something fun as a second hangout. I will update but want someone else’s opinion on what you think.
Tricky situation to some degree but it seems like you might not have escalated enough on that one date. Also, you could chalk it up as some (not all) woman just want a short fling, and not necessarily looking for an attachment beyond that. Landon, TFM
When should i text her that text? So we went out on saturday, then went home, kissed try to escalate to sex didnt happen and then we just cuddle she was even very nice giving me soft rubs... then i texted her on sunday if she arrived home safe and left me on seen on monday morning... when should i send this vulnerable text you described?
I know there's no exact perfect time but how long after the last date / text do you send this? I had a date i thought couldn't have gone almost any better and yet I got ghosted when i asked her out two days later even though she was replying to everything in minutes before
Hey Young Suit, It's hard to know exactly what happened in that situation. The bottom line is to only text when you're feeling pretty good. Texting when you've got things on your mind or aren't in the best emotional space tends to have a bad effect on things. But it's not really possible to give specific advice on why that happened without details. - Andrew, TFM Staff
@@TheFearlessMan I think one thing some guys need to be careful of, especially young ones, is of knowing what "feeling good" actually is. sometimes sleep deprivation or high adrenaline can make you feel okay but you're really still anxious from the date.
@Young Suit, It's true that experience over times helps you sort your emotions out. There is definitely an overall learning process. I think maybe the key for young guys or anyone really is to not be super hard on ourselves when we do make a mistake. If we get stuck in a guilt reaction when we do something awkward or whatever, that moves us away from being able to learn from the mistake. - Andrew, TFM
@@TheFearlessMan If I can be honest and vulnerable here, it hurts so bad to really like someone and not be liked back. Like the walk up in a bar and being declined feels bad, but when they're interested enough to go on a date, and you THINK it went well (which can be a misread) so you think they like you too. It hurts.
This happened to me a couple times could never figure it out women are complicated. First time I was a 22 yr old went out with a girl a bit younger got her number called her she told me she’s 17 but going to be 18 soon. Anyway I took her out went to the movies and saw Troy anyway we didn’t watch much of Troy because we were making out the entire time. After that date I called her and she acted completely different and acted cold. Not sure what happened maybe age difference her parents maybe didn’t approve but that was it. 2nd time went out with another girl more my age in her 20s went out to lunch and a movie and at the end made out called her after and a 2nd date never happened. I’m over it now married now with 2 kids but looking back at it can never quite figure it out and apparently it’s happened to a lot of us guys!
Forget strategies and rules. Learn to act from your own truth. - Andrew, TFM Staff Fearless Experience Intensive - 2021 Schedule www.thefearlessman.com/Experience2021
@@gyre9160 oh cool. I just had a first date that i literally couldn't think have gone any better but then when I asked her out two days later she didn't respond so I'm going to give it some space but maybe in a week or so
Too much effort for me. If she goes quiet I move on to the next.
Better!
This just happened to me. Went on a date with a girl. She expressed how she was super glad she met me and SHE stated how she wanted to set up a day to hang out again and get massages together. When I followed up with her about it, she ghosted me. Still active on social media and even deleted me off of it. All I see now is a massive character flaw. I won’t play into that immaturity.
I feel you. Happened to me just a few days ago. I feel like I don’t understand anything at all.
Same here bros
You're judging her by masculine standards. Accountability and follow through are masculine qualities. It may be comforting in the short term to be with predictable women but it makes them more masculine. - Andrew, TFM Team
Same happened to me 2 days ago
update
If a girl ghosts you after a “good date” , its because:
1. She had a great time, but didn’t really feel a romantic connection or the right vibe.
2. She didn’t enjoy the date , but lied to you for safety reasons.
3. There is someone else in the picture. Maybe she got back with her man, or there is another guy she likes better.
Bottom line : This girl did not ghost him because she’s scared about liking him. She ghosted him because she’s not interested/doesn’t like him.
This is it
that's not the point.
the point is being true to yourself and feeling her as well.
@@vaultvon2126 I was just simply answering the question.
@@charlespresbury2290 ye but you don't get Brian's lesson.
And You having those answers means you're already certain of what she think. Already judging her. Why not think positive. Like she's nervous....
@@vaultvon2126 I wouldn’t say judging. More so interpreting the situation in my own. But if the girl would communicated from the beginning , interpretation wouldn’t be necessary. I’m not thinking negative. I just think it’s unlikely that a woman would just ghost someone after a good first date out of nervousness. If they do, they are not very mature. Overall, I do get Brian’s message, but I just don’t fully agree with it. If she’s not mature enough to fully communicate from the beginning, I don’t want to deal with her.
Online Dating is like a fuck'n game show
It's relative and subjective, Steve. Yeah, there are some obvious flaws but it's also been a positive for many. Beef up your photos with action photos of you and see if this helps.
Landon, TFM
They get very frightened because they really like you and know that you can and will hurt them. They feel vulnerable around you and can't control it.
I swear this is it bro. I feel like they get intimidated by you
Very true… but doesn’t change the fact that her ghosting is a major character flaw.
@@mujanayi64 definitely a major character flaw bro. The story is me and a coworker went on a date and I’ve done this a million times so it was just another night out. She even told me I look like I can have any girl I want while we were out . Beforehand at work, she agreed to go on the date but we weren’t going back to my house or anything. When we got done with the date I said we were going to my house she couldn’t even say no lol . When we got there I said let’s go upstairs and she complied then i put a movie on and I put her hand on my dick. She gave me crazy head lmao, she wanted to fuck but I didn’t have a condom so she said next time. The next day at work she didn’t even look my way and hasn’t texted me since it’s been a week lmao wtf
What do you think happened?
I really think she was intimidated by me because I seduced her and she couldn’t even stop herself and it was the first date.. she probably wants me to chase her a little but I ain’t doing shit lol
Man! It's so depressing reading all these first date stories in the comments, repeatedly getting ghosted myself, I think I'm done with dating for a while 😅
It gets discouraging at times, Evan. Sometimes it is a good idea to go inward a bit, or focus on yourself in some way (e.g. building your great cake of a life as Dr. Glover call it).
Thanks for the comment.
Landon, TFM
Bottom line-
Dating is a fucking shit show
Great advice again, Brian. And to the dude that sent in the question, good job on planning a great date and showing a woman such a great time that she is speechless. Even if you don't hear from her again, she will never forget that date. Cheers to you bro!
Similar thing happened to me.
Took this girl on a date on Friday night and it was an absolute blast. We were on a group pub crawl and were having fun and then she wanted to break off from the group so we could hang out just the two of us. We sat in an empty bar for about an hour and a half talking, laughing, and holding hands and I thought we really connected. We even had a really deep, intellectual heart to heart conversation that went really smooth and felt good. We got home and I hugged her and we kissed a little bit before I left her apartment and she told me to text her so we could hang out again before the weekend was over. Texted her the next day no response. Waited one more day texted her again and she said she was busy 4 hours later. Not really sure what happened between the end of our date and now but I’m just so confused.
Would have to see your texts
She told you to text her and you did. In her head you weren't challenging enough and demonstrated you had nothing better going on over the weekend. Even if you didn't, you should have acted as if you did. I know you don't want to play games, but that's all women do. Even the ones who swear they don't, which is meta beyond their comprehension. She was testing you to see if you would comply, and you did like a champ. Unfortunately that is what labeled you as boring in her mind, thus giving her the opinion that you are too easy to get. Flip the script, and mirror their behaviour. Tell them what they want to hear, the same way they tell us what we want to hear and don't act on their word.
bourgeoi_c well I texted her later that night when I got home saying I had fun with her and stuff. That must have been where I went wrong. After that I waited 2 days to text her she said she was busy that day. A few days after that she texted me asking to hang out after work (we work together) so we did for a few hours and it was nice. Since then haven’t heard from her. Don’t know if it’s my turn to put in effort or hers, or if I should forget this whole thing since it feels like it’s not going anywhere
@@ryanf7441 its already over son...........................................I'm sorry.
Pohler Express keep the first dates low cost and always try to go in for a kiss and ask her back to you place, basically always try to initial the intimacy so you know if she’s exhale interested in you or not. If she is she’ll sleep with you most likely.
You thought it was a great 1st date,
I Thought the same haha lol
nope. wrong analysis. The date went TOO well. Too many things the guy did for her the first time. All wrong... Movie, ice cream, way too much for the first time.
Agree totally
Yeah, she's used to dating assholes who treat her like dog shit again, then they wonder where all the good guys are at, LOL
As a woman. You are totally wrong. She is just not interested. Women love “too many things” believe me.
No offence but women barely reach out or make the first contact. Not even after a first date.
Nope. The truth is that another dude is orbiting her and she likes him more than you. No girl would ever ghost you cause she likes you too much wtf?!?
Contrary to what you believe, what he is saying is actually true
Nah, shes testing you and wanting you to chase her
As a girl you’re right, we wouldn’t ghost for that reason
Happened to me today! Was thinking we had natural chemistry and this could go somewhere. But she never replied to my follow-up. Ghosting triggers the worst feelings, makes you feel inadequate and start to over-analyse everything. I know the best thing to do is nothing and move on. But i will try to message this one on her Facebook. I can see how this will come across and i'll make myself look creepy/hurt. But would appreciate any feedback in the unlikely event they'll even reply.
There is only one person in this world who can define your value and that is you yourself. You don't know why she's not responding and regardless of her reason for doing, it by no means defines your qualities.
Oh let me just say if you call it out and the connection/attraction is already weak, then that will be the end of it
Thesame shit happened to me recently and I guess I'll just let it slide even though I like her so much. She said I'm too caring😞. WTF that's how I was made and I don't fake a thing. I'll just keep my kindness to myself on the next one. Think ladies love rude guys I guess
As woman we would not do that if we felt a romantic connection/spark. That is not how we work, if we feel something we are drawn to you not the other way around
I disagree
I had a first date which went for 6 hours and we were making out and hand holding all the time. Talking about very personal things. She pmed me next say and thanked me for the great evening. I never saw her again.
As humans we find a easy way to over complicate things, wait a little time after first date and suggest a phone call, ask them out again & if they ignore I guess they aren’t interested 🤷🏽♂️
I was chatting with this girl for about 3 months now we're both busy during this time and finally met up last week. We were supposed to just head off late lunch drinks and see what happens. So she came to my place had a few drinks then headed off to the restaurant for early dinner/drinks. Then went for a quick stroll around city then head back to my place for more drinks and both admitted that we like each other and she even slept in my bedroom and we even had sex before we sleep and the next morning too. She was a bot worried that I might ghost after sex but told her no I'd be around for her and she hugged me.
After 2 days I messaged her about 2nd date. She simple replied "I know I'll reply to you tomorrow x" Then I saw her story she posted this poem saying like "when u feel like giving up u just have to keep going" ??
Then it's been 3days now. No reply but she always view my stories?
Move On, She Was Only Being Nice Cuz She Aint Want Hurt Yo Feelns
Pain
I'm paraphrasing another YT coach when I say that he should've waited a few days to ask about seeing her again. A little eager-appearing = possibly scaring away these commitment-phobe modern babes. Hold back a smidge; "keep your powder dry": Create a little wonder / mystery.
Mr. Corey Wayne
NYC Songman if she's already attracted to the guy, she would it perceive it as being too eager.
I'm in the same boat, excellent first date.. She kept texting after we kissed and I dropped her off, I invested my time and money only to get flaked n ghosted. Someone show me a good bridge to jump off of plz lol
Just happened to me today... I don't get it. Csnt find one Corey Wayne video explaining this
@@paulypipes3082 she eventually hit my line saying "I been thinking about you" she realized aint no good niggas left n she finally hit my line but I was cool by then she tried to treat me like a Rebound
@@stackbundles2663two years later she hit you back? LMFAOOOO
Sometimes I think women get so comfortable in there particular life that they don’t want anything to change it…. They were having a blast but she is just okay with her current situation but could have had something better! Just decided not to but ultimately scared of change and I feel that too sometimes
Some women are like that, others aren't. - Andrew, TFM Team
💯 true facts, she may have a man in the back ground… you may have been a distraction 😢but do not chase. If she does not respond to you just let it go, if you really like her then be honest but don’t let emotions affect you, and you’re just caught in the game.
Why the hell you texted her after? If she really interested one you she would text the same nigh , if not that's mean she has low interest on you. you made the effort already by taking her out
Same goes for me,it's been quiet a time that we have known each other we had an unofficial first date I really fealt a connection and everything was great we decided to go on another date 2 days later,but one day later she texted me and said that she didn't like it and wanted our relation to be platonic,hell if I understood anything.
If a girl ghosts you out . You back of and not sound needy . Text an hour after the date and say you had a good time and if she doesn’t reply move to the next woman
Agreed. Timing of the text doesnt matter imo. Hour or 3 hours after the date, send a text, if she's into you, I guess she will respond (if she's not insane)
Personally I think he did more wrong than right
1. He made the date the next day after meeting
I would advise waiting a couple days to set a date with a woman after meeting her. It’s good to anticipate and have her think of the interaction and sets a guy apart because he can give her space and not immediately text after getting contact information. There’s no problem setting a date with a girl on the spot, but the next day was too soon.
2. The date was too long
When going on a first date the guy should be cutting it off short and the first date shouldn’t be longer than an hour generally speaking. Get some time to know each other but giver her some time to think about you as well with that limited time. It’s the muscle growth outside the gym mentality I call it, her interest grows outside the dates the most compared to the date itself.
3. He kissed her that’s good to verify her interest for a 2nd date, but talked about a 2nd date too soon
This was essentially what deflated most of everything in my opinion. He hits her up the day of after spending quite excessive time with eachother for a first date, it was fun but I would’ve done some of these things all together for a 3rd date or made each date each of the activities they did for the first one. The guy didn’t give her the time of day to wonder about him and where his interest lies rather hits her up the same day after a date asking for a second one? Dude gave her no chance and was to easy. It’s a scientific fact woman are more attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear and that was probably unattractive in her eyes.
I don’t think this has to do with "rapport" she obviously kissed him and things were fine. The 3rd act was what really deflated the motion he had going. I’d advise hitting her up one more time and then if she does not answer on to the next. 2 strikes and you’re out..peace!
Possibly is was not a Great First Date, it was just Alcohol:)
Seriously, it was an amazing spontaneous hangout. We spent about two hours in my car in the parking lot, talking about all sorts of things and enjoying music that we both love. It felt really deep. Later, I sped down the freeway while she held my hand. We had a great make-out session, cuddled, and exchanged neck kisses! She fucked off completely right after! Evaporated and vanished into thin air
Well she ghosted me for some odd reason, We went thirfting, ice cream, ate and went for drinks. we danced, laughed i definitely had fun but idk about her. what happened????
The first thing he did wrong was texting her the same night after the date trying to plan a second date, u should’ve gave her space to think about u bro and txt her probably 3-4 days latter.
Plus u should not call it out you’re just gonna come off weak. Let her come to u, if not then call her 1 week latter.
A few people have already mentioned this but it's worth elaborating again. Texting too soon (or too much) is a date/relationship killer. It makes him look needy and therefore insecure, big turnoff. Interesting point about tension, if a man texts too much, he decreases tension. To combat this, the man will benefit from an abundance mentality when it comes to women and dating (meaning that you know you have other options to pursue if this woman doesn't work out) and don't tell her that, SHOW her. One way you show her is by not texting a whole lot.
I tell students to text right away sometimes, and I often do too. That rule is just out of insecurity
Thanks for the reply. I thought that texting too quickly can sometimes give the perception of being needy, I guess it depends on who the person is that you are texting. I'm just curious, what does the relationship between insecurity and not immediately texting back have to do with each other? Honestly, I thought that was the other way around. Thanks.
I texted her after 2 days and Ι stumbled the same thing
Matt M
I texted after week... lol and nothing. I guess that’s too soon? xD
If a women has an issue with texting soon or late then she's not wife material.
I had a similar experience. We ended up at hers and got frisky but she refused to have sex saying she was afraid she wouldn't see me again if we did. She replied to my first message the morning I left her place but slowly drifted away. Then two days later she requested to follow me on Instagram and allowed me to follow her back. It's been four days now and no response to my last message. Wtf is going on?
sean sayer
These women be hiding their true nature.
There’s probably like 20 guys she’s talking to xD
She picks the one that makes her the most emotional.
I had the same type of thing happen to me.
Hung out had a good time. She wanted to go back to her place. We did got kinda physical no sex. (I didn’t want to) I left nothing bad happened.
Now, I’ve been blocked on Facebook lol. I sent her 1 text wishing her well. No reply. Lol it’s wack
I had the greatest date--connection and conversation on point - physical chemistry was fire. But I wanted to slow things down and get to know him.
My tendency is to pull back and let the man come toward me with his intentions.
If everything is smooth I feel like the better thing to do is go on multiple fun outings where you can talk and get to know if you share values and can build a true friendship and bond.
If you already have physical chemistry and you are a long term minded match just be consistent in your communication and 9/10 you got her.
Thanks for your feedback! We appreciate it.
Happy Holidays!
Landon
I could use your help. I know this post is a year old, so lmk please before I type out 5 paragraphs for no reason😂
He texted her way too soon and probably bugged the shit out of her via text, and she could tell he was a clingy beta so she stopped responding. The fact of the matter is if she likes him she's going to reach out...if not it's her loss and he should move on. I wouldn't bother trying to play investigator.
lol----Also dude wtf is on your shirt?
Well said. And yes, we must've been rushing that day and missed the stain haha
Alpha response 💪
I do it on dates. My answer will be, yes, I am scared. I'm just the type of girl who can't really say no because I'm afraid of hurting your feelings. So if the guy asks for a small kiss, I say yes even if I am not really into it. I just don't know how to say no. After the date I will have my own reflection and realize that I don't really have the feeling, so I will turn less excited and cold towards texting.
Also, if guy demands or wants to make out with me on first date, I will be really scared.
Thanks a lot for sharing this here Jenny. It's great for guys to hear directly from women like you.
I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings but you might surprised that he might need that exact thing to help him grow. His masculinity will grow through challenge. Notice that you end up probably hurting his feelings anyway but going silent after the date. If you test him by not doing what he wants and he handles it well, you are both going to enjoy the date more. If he doesn't handle it well, you can know for sure you aren't interested and more on cleanly.
It's great having you checking out our channel, please post your comments or questions any time! - Andrew, TFM Team
You’re doing more harm than good.
He texted too fast after as well.....
Alex Sutton Too much of an elaborate first date as well. That chick probably went out the next day with a bad boy who took her to a cheap burger joint, and then fucked her because he raised proper sexual tension.
Alex Sutton no such thing. These txting games r so high school.
Sosmcs See truuuu
Sosmcs See I say he probably just picked a woman w/ plenty of options & didn’t get chosen. Same thing just happened to me, she texted me the next day & ghosted me few days after that. 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
@@icarus432hz9 That sounds so fuckin basic. No romanticism whatsoever in that :/
I matched with this girl on Hinge during the pandemic in Britain. We’ve been talking a month, I wanted to get her out quickly, but I was patient and waited until she was comfortable. So we began using voice notes and had a phone call and we agreed to meet last weekend.
Bearing in mind that she didn’t stop laughing on the phone or when we’ve been texting, we have also been flirting and teasing each other, making the interactions fun. So, we finally met, I took the train and she met me at the station in her car. Immediately I went for the physical so I said “come on let’s have a hug”.
We went for a good walk where we talked about life in general and I teased her a lot e.g. she knew the area, but one of the paths was incredibly muddy so I said “if it’s really bad I know who to blame”. She didn’t stop laughing at the things I was saying.
We went to the store to buy ingredients to cook that night and even that was fun. I made sure I led the way, taking the basket etc. We went back to hers where I cooked a spaghetti Bolognese and where we teased each other and it just genuinely felt like we knew each other already.
I went for the kiss, rubbed her nose before and gave her a quick kiss but she seemed shocked and went red so I pulled back. We ate dinner where she found out I liked country and she seemed really into it plus she didn’t stop asking me questions, had a game of scrabble where the banter was flying about how bad the other’s words were. We were making references about future plans. She said something like “well next time I’ll use my dictionary”. Anyway, I kept putting my leg on hers, initiating touch.
She took me to the station and before I left, we shared a few kisses where both of us leaned in. She even touched my chest saying “you’re really warm”. I thought bingo. Got home, sent her a jokey message about her car because she’s got her own personalized number plate and then I said “I enjoyed myself today, especially winning at Scrabble with a gooseberry gin” to which she replied “Gooseberry gin was good, Scrabble hmmm…Company wasn’t bad though” with a smiley, cheeks blushing emoji.
I replied “10/10 choice by me getting the gooseberry, bet you were sole destroyed at losing”. She’s a shoemaker so I always shoe puns with her to tease. But, she hasn’t replied. She did say she was meeting her friends the day after, but she read my message at 8:30am and was online for most of the day and I didn't get a reply. I truly thought I did everything right.
That's a win man. Stay grounded and don't msg her out of frustration or desperation. She might have felt a little overwhelmed so just stat relaxed and patient and be willing to accept that she had some change of heart possibly. In the meantime, stay focused and productive in the rest of your life and keep initiating good interactions with other women. It's all part of the growth. - Andrew, TFM Staff
2-Day Revealing Process Masterclass - Virtual Event
thefearlessman.com/july-2021-revealing
The Fearless Man Live - Bucharest, May 8-9, 2021
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@@TheFearlessMan Hi man, she friendzoned me last night. I truly thought there was chemistry there and we got along like a house on fire. I kept trying to touch and escalate things, kissing her. I'm just a bit baffled really and keep analysing over where I went wrong. Clearly there wasn’t enough sexual attraction for her which was my fault entirely
@@callumwalker8183 It's hard to have advice since I don't know the specifics. I'm gonna guess there may have been a fair amount of wanting on your part, like you got excited by the initial success and started kind of "grabbing" to try to make it go further. Learning experience of course. Come to Bucharest man (link I posted above). It's a pretty cheap even and you will get a LOT of insights that will help in situations like this. Brian will be there.
@@TheFearlessMan I obviously did something wrong whether it wasn’t enough banter, flirting or sexuality for her to friendzone me
@@callumwalker8183 Be careful not to look at it like a mechanical process with some formula you have to get right.
You don't text her right away after the date....you have to let women miss you.
Do not act like a chick and ask her if everything is alright? That demonstrates neediness and insecurity.
Exactly
Except for when you were both messaging like crazy for the past week because all clicked so freakin well for both of you
Guys i had a date yesterday i met the girl on tinder last year but we took time to meet each other we stated we liked each other so tell me why after the date I looked on social media she unfriend me lol then I told her to delete my number then I got blocked on ig did I do anything wrong ?
If a girl goes ghost she doesn't like you period
I went on a date a few days ago and after we texted and she said it was good. And an hour later she stopped texting. Its been like 2 days and she hasnt texted back but is still active on social media. What do i do i really hope she still likes me
Hard to know without getting into depth with you on how both the date and the texts went. But the best thing you can do is develop your abundance mentality by going out and flirting with lots of women
@@TheFearlessMan in other words...4get the bitxch
@@Mo-kq6dl , 😂😂😂
Depends how much were you texting. Went on a date with a girl that responded to my texts in 30 seconds usually. After the date yesterday, she still hasn't replied to my message. So in that case, you just leave it I think.
She is just testing you
No, we’re not interested. We had a good time but there was no romantic connection
Hey man just saw your video, and it really brought out other views on what happened yet but I wanted someone else opinion. So we meet up at a fair little awkward but went alright, she gets more into gets flirty, then she and her friend ask me to go camping with them great I’m having a fun time. I go back we drive around have fun then go camping, we get to the spot and she becomes way more flirty touching laughing and having fun. Everyone starts going to bed but she gets in the bed with me great we start to cuddle, not to intensely but cuddling. We start talking about our personalities it gets deep we like all the same things. We stay up all night then when morning comes she leaves. In my mind it went great, so we start texting over a day she became way more reserved, I could tell she doesn’t seem that interested anymore. I hinted towards us hanging out again but haven’t truly asked. I was thinking camping again or something fun as a second hangout. I will update but want someone else’s opinion on what you think.
Tricky situation to some degree but it seems like you might not have escalated enough on that one date. Also, you could chalk it up as some (not all) woman just want a short fling, and not necessarily looking for an attachment beyond that.
Landon, TFM
update
When should i text her that text? So we went out on saturday, then went home, kissed try to escalate to sex didnt happen and then we just cuddle she was even very nice giving me soft rubs... then i texted her on sunday if she arrived home safe and left me on seen on monday morning... when should i send this vulnerable text you described?
+Fearless Man, Hi Coach Brian. Would you consider a paid 45min or 1Hour Skype or FaceTime session with me? Thanks much.
I know there's no exact perfect time but how long after the last date / text do you send this? I had a date i thought couldn't have gone almost any better and yet I got ghosted when i asked her out two days later even though she was replying to everything in minutes before
Hey Young Suit, It's hard to know exactly what happened in that situation. The bottom line is to only text when you're feeling pretty good. Texting when you've got things on your mind or aren't in the best emotional space tends to have a bad effect on things. But it's not really possible to give specific advice on why that happened without details. - Andrew, TFM Staff
@@TheFearlessMan yeah that's a good rule of thumb thanks
@@TheFearlessMan I think one thing some guys need to be careful of, especially young ones, is of knowing what "feeling good" actually is. sometimes sleep deprivation or high adrenaline can make you feel okay but you're really still anxious from the date.
@Young Suit, It's true that experience over times helps you sort your emotions out. There is definitely an overall learning process. I think maybe the key for young guys or anyone really is to not be super hard on ourselves when we do make a mistake. If we get stuck in a guilt reaction when we do something awkward or whatever, that moves us away from being able to learn from the mistake. - Andrew, TFM
@@TheFearlessMan If I can be honest and vulnerable here, it hurts so bad to really like someone and not be liked back. Like the walk up in a bar and being declined feels bad, but when they're interested enough to go on a date, and you THINK it went well (which can be a misread) so you think they like you too. It hurts.
Do you have any book that you personally wrote that has all these stuff that I can buy online
This happened to me a couple times could never figure it out women are complicated. First time I was a 22 yr old went out with a girl a bit younger got her number called her she told me she’s 17 but going to be 18 soon. Anyway I took her out went to the movies and saw Troy anyway we didn’t watch much of Troy because we were making out the entire time. After that date I called her and she acted completely different and acted cold. Not sure what happened maybe age difference her parents maybe didn’t approve but that was it. 2nd time went out with another girl more my age in her 20s went out to lunch and a movie and at the end made out called her after and a 2nd date never happened. I’m over it now married now with 2 kids but looking back at it can never quite figure it out and apparently it’s happened to a lot of us guys!
How long should i wait before calling her out?
Forget strategies and rules. Learn to act from your own truth. - Andrew, TFM Staff
Fearless Experience Intensive - 2021 Schedule
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Thanks, something like this happened to me few days ago and i didnt know what to do
Did this advice work
@@youngsuit Yeah, it did. She told me she felt nervous hitting me up cause she really liked me and didn't want to mess things up between us.
@@gyre9160 oh cool. I just had a first date that i literally couldn't think have gone any better but then when I asked her out two days later she didn't respond so I'm going to give it some space but maybe in a week or so
@@gyre9160 what did you say by chance? did you two end up dating longer?
@@youngsuit yeah, we dated for a bit longer but, i ended it cuz she started acting needy
My god this guy is clueless
All that for a first date sheesh
Long story short. She was fake and date wasn't so good
Yes we do kiss act like things r great YES THAT'S US IF WE BEEN HURT WE WILL. BE SILENT
that's fucking stupid
Really! She like you too much. WTF!
why she fukin met first
Bad advices!!!
Painn
Your no doc love bro.