Guided Meditation and Affirmations for Depersonalization Recovery

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  • Опубліковано 28 чер 2019
  • This is a short guided meditation video that is part of the DP No More Online Course - b.link/dpn
    Use this video to reduce DP/DR intensity, stop fear and panic, and feel hopeful. Motivate yourself that you will recover with this meditation.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 864

  • @emilytaylorcollins
    @emilytaylorcollins 2 роки тому +495

    I have been experiencing intense DP/DR for a month now. I continually questioned whether I was even alive. It's terrifying being afraid of your own brain and feeling like you'll never get yourself back. What was a 24/7 feeling now only comes in episodes, shorter by the day. Listen to this daily, try yoga, find a routine, the more normality you implement the more normal you will feel. This isn't your life, this is just a feeling that will pass.

    • @jackieharrison4413
      @jackieharrison4413 2 роки тому +5

      How are you now? I am battling with it after a breakdown after working at a Hospice. Been ill for 8 months, but able to work on auto pilot. Hoping these podcasts help. X

    • @micol5725
      @micol5725 2 роки тому +2

      Hi emily how are you now ? I’m really struggling ..

    • @emilytaylorcollins
      @emilytaylorcollins 2 роки тому +10

      Hi guys, it’s definitely a wave. Sometimes I will go a few days without it - other days I will feel back at square one. Seeing my psychologist has helped and just taking time to rest and look after myself.

    • @micol5725
      @micol5725 2 роки тому

      How are you now ?

    • @emilytaylorcollins
      @emilytaylorcollins 2 роки тому +7

      @@micol5725 seeing a lot of improvement. It’s definitely so up and down but now I know it isn’t dangerous and my mind can just switch it off. I now can realise it’s just my mind being anxious, stressed or tired and it’s slowly going. How are you?

  • @AlexG-zu3je
    @AlexG-zu3je 3 роки тому +702

    If you read this comment just know you aren't alone. You are strong, you are loved, and you are real. "If I was going crazy I wouldn't notice". Stay calm hear his voice and read this out loud. I AM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.

    • @karolina7127
      @karolina7127 2 роки тому +12

      Thank you for this. Im so scared

    • @user-ch9jl4ns7f
      @user-ch9jl4ns7f 2 роки тому +13

      @@karolina7127 do NOT be scared it is okay i can reassure u you are going to be fine i’m 1 year in it is tough but you gotta remember that you will untangle yourself from this knot 😁

    • @karolina7127
      @karolina7127 2 роки тому +1

      @@user-ch9jl4ns7f thank you

    • @lisasimpson3357
      @lisasimpson3357 2 роки тому +14

      Does anyone feel completely numb as well?

    • @lisasimpson3357
      @lisasimpson3357 2 роки тому +2

      Thank you for this. It's comforting

  • @savvy2172
    @savvy2172 3 роки тому +428

    What you resist ...persists. If you don’t worry about it and surrender ...it will fade bit by bit. It’s just another symptom of anxiety. This is such a beautiful meditation. Thank you.

    • @fredytorres8231
      @fredytorres8231 2 роки тому +3

      Thank you so much
      😞

    • @Lalujamama5
      @Lalujamama5 2 роки тому

      Thnx for this x

    • @mahmoudalsaraf2119
      @mahmoudalsaraf2119 2 роки тому +2

      What steps did you take to get rid of it and how long did it take to recover from it?

    • @MrCjchamp2001
      @MrCjchamp2001 Рік тому +3

      I’ve tried accepting but it won’t heal

    • @gabrielcutler631
      @gabrielcutler631 Рік тому +2

      @chris Morrison its not accepting it persay, if you mean in terms of accepting its existence. More specifically accepting what its doing. When it hits me and i start loosing my senses, i let it come, i let it do its thing and i pay it no mind (it gets worse when i do) and i start a conversation with someone, doesnt matter who, as long as its ab something else. Get distracted with something else, thats the main way i got through it.

  • @jasonharris2598
    @jasonharris2598 3 роки тому +144

    Anyone reading through the comments, I was dr/dp for two months. What helped me was accepting the weirdness of the experience and believing that it would eventually stop. You can get out of dr/dp.

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 3 роки тому +17

      Same for me. Ive had it since end dec 2020. The healing started when I told to myself, this is just a sensation. Accepting it, and not fighting it. Also taking rest, proper food and walking. Everyday I feel my normal self more and more. Not scared anymore for the sensation. I feel like my breathing normalizes more also.

    • @SAMESULEKCLIPZ
      @SAMESULEKCLIPZ 3 роки тому +2

      @@sammiemk2364 please help me

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 3 роки тому +8

      @@SAMESULEKCLIPZ Hi! Do not worry! And know this is an extreme symptom of depression/anxiety/trauma. Im dealing with this since jan 2021. I am talking with a psychologist about all the anxiety and traumas in my life, and its getting better and better. I can suggest, if you can to talk with one. Sometimes we dont know what our unconcious anxiety is, therefore I couldnt help myself. I also could not express my emotions, I surpressed everything almost my entire life. Thats why i depersonlized, my body and brain were overwhelmed. Talk with someone about your traumas, traumasspecialist/psychologist
      I hope you get better soon! Know this is bit by bit, not in one day!

    • @judithlionel6410
      @judithlionel6410 2 роки тому

      Thank you for hope ❤️

    • @davesarah324
      @davesarah324 2 роки тому

      @@judithlionel6410 hey are you here because of it

  • @bibsi122
    @bibsi122 3 роки тому +294

    I had it now for 2 weeks and it’s recognizable fading away, never lose hope and be patient. It’s all about acceptance :)

    • @isabelmcqueen1324
      @isabelmcqueen1324 3 роки тому +12

      this eased me thank u, hope ur doing good

    • @bibsi122
      @bibsi122 3 роки тому +12

      @@isabelmcqueen1324 I dont feel it 24/7, that’s different to most comments here. It’s like a phase and it’s like he says, the feeling peeks and it dies down

    • @tanyawillis1777
      @tanyawillis1777 3 роки тому +9

      I had it for one year now 🥺

    • @bibsi122
      @bibsi122 3 роки тому +7

      @@tanyawillis1777 it will go away don’t worry

    • @merr3798
      @merr3798 3 роки тому

      Hi, did it went away?

  • @divaricca
    @divaricca 2 роки тому +39

    Everything i needed to hear: "You are not going to lose your mind".

    • @ashleyriosrizo
      @ashleyriosrizo Рік тому +2

      How are now girl?

    • @divaricca
      @divaricca Рік тому +4

      @@ashleyriosrizo Oh thanks for asking! I'm getting better, I've come to accept the "strange feeling" -- I often tell myself: "this is a normal physiological phenomenon, possibly due to trauma.. a protective mechanism for my emotions..."
      I've trained myself to take the fear out of it, not obsess over it endlessly...I try to do everything I normally do and have come to think "a little fucking madness can't hurt, in fact it's necessary to survive in this world." OTHER tips: grounding, being creative, breathing (belly exerices), fixing my nervous system, magnesium, and just accepting that the whole nature of "reality", the divine and universe is a mystery and will stay a mistery, we can examine ourselves and the world, we can get glimpses of the All that we cannot grasp... and we can live (express) and experience our inner poetry.
      🖤 how about you?

    • @ashleyriosrizo
      @ashleyriosrizo Рік тому +1

      @@divaricca I'm doing so much better the stronger my relationship gets with Jesus and the closer I get to him. I'm so glad to hear your better.

    • @divaricca
      @divaricca Рік тому

      @@ashleyriosrizo ❤️🌟

    • @EliPurin
      @EliPurin 28 днів тому +1

      ​@divaricca I just wanted to say reading your comment instantly made me feel a little bit better, you have such an amazing outlook on this which i hope i can achieve as well. Thank you for sharing, I hope your journey continues well.

  • @anonymouseponymous
    @anonymouseponymous 4 роки тому +378

    This seriously saved me from feeling like I was going insane tonight. I need a lot of validation and encouragement right now,--and grounding--and I can't believe how much this helped. It calmed me down and got me back into my body. I feel seen and understood. These affirmations are great for mental illness in general. THANK YOU.

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  4 роки тому +18

      So good to hear this ❤️

    • @Schibbe
      @Schibbe 4 роки тому +17

      Had to watch this 7 times yesterday when I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Everytime I feel like im going insane or like im gonna die from som illness I watch this and it helps so much.

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  4 роки тому +5

      @@Schibbe Thanks for saying that. Feels great to be of use to someone.

    • @JatinderSingh-dk5fl
      @JatinderSingh-dk5fl 3 роки тому +3

      Can we form a group of people who suffered or suffering

    • @jamielawrence4749
      @jamielawrence4749 2 роки тому +2

      Yes I find them helpful for OCD as well!

  • @cynthia9529
    @cynthia9529 4 роки тому +228

    I’m 13 and I feel like I’m dreaming and it dosnt go awy and I get really scared and I start to cry and feel like I’m not real

    • @despairthewumbo9804
      @despairthewumbo9804 4 роки тому +11

      Cynthia Leon i suggest looking up The Anxiety Ninja

    • @ukoutdoors6111
      @ukoutdoors6111 4 роки тому +55

      It will go I had it when I was your age. A scary time. But it does pass with time. Good luck stay strong

    • @joeyboy1238
      @joeyboy1238 4 роки тому +48

      Never give up! Its bought on by trauma and anxiety. You will get threw this!!!! You need to reverse the way you think! Even if you feel negative! Say ten positive affirmations and repeat them and believe them. And just know that how you feel is temporary and you have a bright future ahead of you. In Jesus name Amen

    • @tougerunss8241
      @tougerunss8241 4 роки тому +21

      I have gone through the same thing, don’t respond to the scary thoughts, the scary sensations, and the scary feelings. They’re not real. Be strong. Much love bro 🙏🏼

    • @Diablowww
      @Diablowww 4 роки тому +14

      My bro be strong!! Work out, eat healthy, work on your future, stay away from drugs and so on.

  • @BammLaura
    @BammLaura 4 роки тому +247

    wow, this made me cry in relief. I wanna listen to this everyday. I've wanted to hear these words for so long it is so relieving I don't how to thank you.

    • @loveormoney786
      @loveormoney786 4 роки тому +5

      You are not alone. The greatest battle we fight is in the mind. He is right that you emerge better from it.

    • @zoemilinkovic
      @zoemilinkovic 3 роки тому +9

      I teared up too. I have not been able to feel anything for months. Those tears made me feel so happy, so I don't feel like a robot anymore.

    • @jaimewise8916
      @jaimewise8916 3 роки тому +3

      I know it’s been a year and I hope your doing better now laura. Reading you comment helped me because I’m where you were at currently. Such a deliberating feeling and this video and page has brought me so much comfort.

    • @emmalouise3988
      @emmalouise3988 2 роки тому +3

      I started crying straight away and as weird as it sounds my brain clicked a little as I looked at my hands I saw them as my hands as my friends as my healers and I started to cry moving them in the splash motion used to help brain fog.. I've felt this sonce I was 13 and I am forever living in a movie...people have passed away around me and I have recognition of it but I feel like it's not real because I'm not real??.. It's all to do with the brain a part of it switches off when trauma or anxiety takes over and so it tried to protect you by making you feel it's not real but we need to get that part of the brain to switch back on as we don't need to be protected any more.. We have the strength to handle it now.. I feel so blessed to have found others n this comment section we need to talk about this more.. so maby are suffering in our heads and our brains are either our friends or our enemies. I hope you will be ok

    • @georgiahearn1967
      @georgiahearn1967 2 роки тому +2

      i cried in relief the first time i heard this too. this video has saved me from so many panick attacks

  • @delainemyers8512
    @delainemyers8512 2 роки тому +110

    I started to have DR/DP due to a bad reaction from my antidepressant and adhd medication. If you’re reading this you’re not alone. Breath and watch this video over and over until your voice sounds like you again. Till your body feels like you, till your reflection looks like you again. Till your space looks like it should. Relax everything is going to be okay and this is not permanent ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @ashleyriosrizo
      @ashleyriosrizo Рік тому +1

      How are you now girl?

    • @GardenManiia
      @GardenManiia Рік тому +1

      I think that’s what I’m experiencing. I’m on Wellbutrin and fluoxetine. Both the lowest dosage but I feel like a hollow glass. Are you still taking your medication?

    • @vaderggs
      @vaderggs Рік тому +5

      @@GardenManiia I was on medication for 2 years, and developed dpdr half way of the 2 years. I’m off the medication now and I’ve been off it for 3 months now, I have some chemical imbalances in my head or something cause I feel very ugly physical sensations in my head and senses. I have my first ever job with this mess, was hoping it would leave in time for my first job, but it didn’t. Going to ride it out, everyday is hard but I’m hopeful

    • @octobersnows
      @octobersnows Рік тому +1

      @@GardenManiia Wellbutrin really does cause DPDR. I've been on it for 2 years almost 3 and I've had constant DPDR ever since I've started it.

    • @RayDayPlays
      @RayDayPlays Рік тому +1

      Thank you for this comment.

  • @conlinweyer2915
    @conlinweyer2915 3 роки тому +110

    I started experiencing depersonalization due to taking too large a dose of a psychedelic. I was very scared, I felt hopeless like I lost myself and I was never going to feel like myself again. But this. This brought me back, i am ever grateful. I am so proud to be back in my own mind, body, and soul. Thank you.

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  3 роки тому +4

      Did you listen to the podcast as your were experiencing the psychedelic trip?

    • @conlinweyer2915
      @conlinweyer2915 3 роки тому +5

      @@RealSwamyG I did not, the depersonalization was unexpected and I wasn't sure how to react. I listened to this today as I had still felt disconnected and detached.

    • @khadijah6791
      @khadijah6791 3 роки тому +1

      This video cured you?

    • @ttlqkf18
      @ttlqkf18 3 роки тому +21

      i have this because of weed i hope i get better

    • @alexb8926
      @alexb8926 3 роки тому +6

      @@conlinweyer2915 you can recover bro, I had the same thing same a few years ago 90% Normal. You probably had some sort of trama as a child, emotional mental or physical. Just accept it and know u will get better. 👍🏽

  • @marvin6936
    @marvin6936 3 роки тому +42

    I started having derealization when i was 13. Im 21 now and feel like ive wasted all of my teen years. In the last few months for the first time i realized that its a natural reaction of the body and nothing is wrong with me, which gave me an unbelievable boost in confidence. And i really really really hope i can begin to enjoy the rest of my life soon.

    • @JJ35553
      @JJ35553 3 роки тому +2

      How are you doing now?

    • @marvin6936
      @marvin6936 3 роки тому +4

      @@JJ35553 Better and worse. Started talking to a psychologist and am starting to understand almost everything about my symptoms and seeing everything clearly, like all the interactions, thought patterns and relationships in my life.Just allowing oneself to feel, even if its anxiety really helps. So now even though i feel more anxiety, i feel way better in general. Btw derealization is always a symptom and not a cause and the cause is almost always something that happened in the past, so find out what it is, work on it, and i swear, you will find alot of joy again.

    • @prettyluh_amberbanks7094
      @prettyluh_amberbanks7094 2 роки тому

      @@marvin6936 do you see the world like
      How uu saw it before??

    • @prettyluh_amberbanks7094
      @prettyluh_amberbanks7094 2 роки тому +2

      @@marvin6936 with like depth and like you get excited for tommorow like if you have something waiting for you.

    • @emmalouise3988
      @emmalouise3988 2 роки тому

      I've had it since I was 13 and I'm now 32 and I am really suffering but I onky jsut found out that over a have had it too! Just knowing I'm not alone is so overwhelming. I have listened to this video twice and I burst our crying and alreasy feel a change. Hope you get better soon

  • @sammiemk2364
    @sammiemk2364 3 роки тому +18

    works! i listen to this 2 times a day. Keeping in mind, its just an anxiety, accept it, accept it. nothing is wrong, these are normal feelings.started going to the church and reading psalms. Everyday it gets better and better. Little steps. visualise yourself in perfect balance health and balance, your brain will work towards that picture. read the book, the power in yourself, joseph murphy

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 2 роки тому

      @@obaidmodz7057 Partly, derealization is gone for 80%, and depersonalization is gone for 50%. I work with a therapist, she is somatic and psychologist. The symptoms go away over time, but sometimes they hit like a bus for a few seconds, and then they go away again. Im working on my anxieties and grieve. How are you doing?

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 2 роки тому

      @@obaidmodz7057 From what I have experiencied from my psych, its because we dont feel save in our bodies, therefore we depersonlize and dereleaze, so i can advice close your eyes, feel your body, and sense what is it what you feel, where you fee it, and give it attention

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 2 роки тому

      @@obaidmodz7057 Also, think of reasons why you dont want to feel your body, what is it that makes u unhappy in your life, and change this.. this is really a chance towards a better and happier life, its a wake up call to change things. I wish you the best healing❤️

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 2 роки тому

      @@obaidmodz7057 inshallah, in Gods time🙏🏻

    • @sammiemk2364
      @sammiemk2364 2 роки тому

      @@obaidmodz7057 Hi, btw Im a woman haha. Good actually, better then before and it improves everyday! Btw I had a vit b12 deficiency! I take vit b12(methylxobalamine and adenosylcobalamine) And I realllllllly improved in just 4 days!!! Please check your vit, if your deficient take vit b12 with those supllements. My tinnitus had gone anway in just 3 days. how are you doing?

  • @feemondorley1806
    @feemondorley1806 2 роки тому +58

    I started going through this around November 29, I’ll come back on may 29, to give an update. If u are seeing this please stay strong you’re not alone. (Please reply to my message to confirm you are seeing this )

    • @gary7970
      @gary7970 2 роки тому +5

      thank u, we can do this!. I've had it on and off for 2 years now because of school and I'm trying to focus on myself and get better. It's reassuring to know that someone others going through the same thing

    • @enzada-nino1562
      @enzada-nino1562 2 роки тому +1

      @Tutoriale Simple how are you

    • @shonentroop9654
      @shonentroop9654 Рік тому +1

      How are you now?

    • @JessicaOrtiz-fj4gq
      @JessicaOrtiz-fj4gq Рік тому

      I have bad derealization. I’m listening to the video now.

    • @luenanda4432
      @luenanda4432 Рік тому

      @@JessicaOrtiz-fj4gq How are you now? It’s eating me alive really sucks

  • @rachellazaro3809
    @rachellazaro3809 4 роки тому +76

    I had depersonalization for 2 months straight & it’s been two weeks that I was free of it then it came back today out of no where it really sucks. I’m hoping these meditation videos help me 🤧

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  4 роки тому +5

      This video addresses that issue ua-cam.com/video/w-EzICYk3AA/v-deo.html

    • @rachellazaro3809
      @rachellazaro3809 4 роки тому

      Thank you so much!❤️

    • @fiete_elr1729
      @fiete_elr1729 3 роки тому +7

      It’s the Same with me.! I had a good last week where I really felt alive yk, like really! But then today, it took me down again.! The depersonalization kicked in and I was so scared and sad that it came back! But yk, I guess we have to pull the energy out of those weeks where we are feeling good, to can cope with the bad times :/ wish you all the best and let me know how you feel today :)

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому

      @@rachellazaro3809 how are u doing now

    • @jenniferwilks4759
      @jenniferwilks4759 3 роки тому +1

      i’ve felt like this since 2018😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @ScrewedUpEssay95
    @ScrewedUpEssay95 5 років тому +150

    Truely powerful. Went from panic to instant relief thank you

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  5 років тому +5

      That's wonderful to hear.

    • @omara323
      @omara323 3 роки тому +1

      How are you now

    • @jennifromtheblock9688
      @jennifromtheblock9688 3 роки тому +2

      I am going to listen to this. Rest, lay down, Nd jus listen Nd chill.. I’m tired of panicking, believing everything is fake, tripping out, looking tired, oversleping, not being motivated, feeling dead, like I’m alone etc.. I will update after the video 😑

    • @albertolombardi5196
      @albertolombardi5196 2 роки тому

      Did you recover?

    • @Pooja-sw1zn
      @Pooja-sw1zn 2 роки тому

      @@jennifromtheblock9688 did you recover from this

  • @mariaschneider3849
    @mariaschneider3849 3 роки тому +22

    I just wanted to leave a comment of hope for the people scrolling through the comment section anxiously. I went through DP/DR as a younger girl and recovered with such a beautiful love for my life and my mind was completely liberated. After smoking weed recently which was what triggered it in the first place I am back with a lighter version of an episode. However I have given in completely and surrendered, meditated, manifested love and healing, found gratitude in the smallest corners of my everyday life and what probably helped me the most was exercise! Balance is key when it comes to this. It is your mind telling you slow down, take care of yourself. I am still living a beautiful life while enduring this version of DP/DR and have confidence that this came into my life to help me reevaluate the person I am and the life I lead. Take this as an opportunity to balance and heal yourself from your past. Sending so much love to everyone experiencing this. It’s scary but like he said, you got this.

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому +2

      U are so strong I am going through this but not the episode one no more it’s the 24/7 version , I’ve been using cbd to help calm it and it does help with the anxiety and makes me force positivity in my thoughts

    • @mariaschneider3849
      @mariaschneider3849 3 роки тому +3

      @@parishorton1300 i’m by no means an expert on this but maybe try to change your relationship with it. Instead of fearing it welcome it. It has no power over you. Something that helps me is to remind myself that I am only having these crazy thoughts and fears because i’m temporarily depersonalized (because my mind is trying to protect me) and the thoughts are just trying to make sense of a weird situation any way that they can. Your mind is you’re friend :) i wish you the best recovery know you aren’t alone

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому

      @@mariaschneider3849 thank you so much when u we’re going through recovery did u ever think it’s gonna seem crazy when I’m back to myself like how am I gonna be able to stay like myself and stuff knowing the beast inside my head

    • @mathewluzado5108
      @mathewluzado5108 3 роки тому

      Hii Maria ! Even myself i have been going through dpdr so I had a doubt is it okay to meditate in depersonalization coz I read an article on google that says meditating in dpdr causes psychosis. please help by replying

    • @ebonixiyana
      @ebonixiyana Рік тому

      hi! did this get better for you ?

  • @michaelL1900
    @michaelL1900 Рік тому +13

    I’ve felt like this for a few days now, it is such an isolating and scary feeling, I miss the old happy me, everyday I’m on the verge of a major panic attack but I’ve kept this on repeat to keep me calm and ground me

  • @RaisingTheAnte
    @RaisingTheAnte Рік тому +32

    This meditation has been a god send…
    I had a really really bad high a couple weeks ago, and it made me depersonalize with myself and reality.
    This had made me feel absolutely powerful and confident and I’m feeling like my old self again :)
    For those of you who are going through it, please be patient, and allow these thoughts to flow through you. Once I submitted to them, I realized they were a part of me that wanted to come home, the more you reject them, the more lost you’ll feel.
    Be brave and strong, and love yourself

    • @CarolinaGonzalez-dr3nk
      @CarolinaGonzalez-dr3nk Рік тому +2

      Im going thru this rn its been 3 days, how long did it take for you to feel normal again?

    • @RaisingTheAnte
      @RaisingTheAnte Рік тому +2

      @@CarolinaGonzalez-dr3nk I’m on my 4th month, things are definitely making more sense. I’m still feeling a little out of it, however it’s all about patience.
      I’m so sorry you’re feeling this. I don’t search this stuff up anymore or look up ways to make me feel normal again. That means progress :)
      If you would like to talk and go over what you’ve been going through, please reach out anytime

    • @treziniaford8680
      @treziniaford8680 6 місяців тому

      @@RaisingTheAnte❤

    • @Willow-lh46
      @Willow-lh46 Місяць тому +1

      How are you now? Did it go away

    • @RaisingTheAnte
      @RaisingTheAnte Місяць тому

      @@Willow-lh46 hi there! I'm doing great :) Thanks for asking! Yeahhhh it went away after....i don't even know how long. I kind of took charge of my life. I live happier these days. I don't even need these anymore hahahaha that's how I guess you know you're done. I don't hope those feelings on ANYONE!!

  • @dorcasaamoh7719
    @dorcasaamoh7719 3 роки тому +22

    Non of your worse fears is going to come true. 🤗🤗🤗😍😍😍😍

  • @jessicajardim1936
    @jessicajardim1936 2 роки тому +21

    I have been feeling like this for about 4 years, and it’s gotten worse since i’ve been on anti-depressants and retalin. I miss feeling real, but I know one day i will feel it again. I will get through this because I have the power and strength to do it and whoever is reading this, you’ve got this, you’ve got the strength, I believe in you

    • @Alina-jm3bg
      @Alina-jm3bg 2 роки тому

      Nearly 100% the same situation, but we will do it. ✊

    • @ashleyriosrizo
      @ashleyriosrizo Рік тому

      How are now girl?

    • @ilmb-mo5es
      @ilmb-mo5es 10 місяців тому

      Pls have hope and know that those feelings will eventually go awayy🥲🥲

  • @zoemilinkovic
    @zoemilinkovic 3 роки тому +41

    OMG ! Who are you???? Thank you so much for this. The moment I heard "you will feel your emotions again" I felt tears in my eyes, for the first time after a loooooooong time. That made me feel so HAPPY. I have not been able to feel ANY emotions for weeks, maybe even months. DP can feel scary at times but I am not giving up. This is a good start. I KNOW full recovery is near. Thank you !!!! I will listen to this first thing in the morning and before bed. God bless your wonderful soul.

  • @music34773
    @music34773 3 роки тому +16

    We should see this as a experience, and learn from it. Acceptance is the perfect example for freedom, dont resist to dpdr, just let it go and do things just as you usually do them. Chill, go out and do something, and it will slowly go away. Personally im going throught it and i can guarantee you that when you dont think about it its not even there.

  • @perryk6915
    @perryk6915 4 роки тому +31

    Feeling like your not here like your in some dream like your floating... is very scary this helped me a bit I went from panic mode to hope that this can get better so thank you!!!

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  4 роки тому

      Hey, happy that this meditation gave you hope.

    • @perryk6915
      @perryk6915 3 роки тому

      @swagy g
      Sorry this just made cry the first time I listened I felt hope but now everything is ok I stopped having panic attacks daily but I don't feel happy I'm just depressed and panic keeps coming back after every good day I have now I just feel like what you say is talking to someone else

    • @hungryburger6195
      @hungryburger6195 3 роки тому

      Did you recover

  • @xkm11x
    @xkm11x 3 роки тому +27

    I started to cry hearing these affirming words. Thank you.

    • @xkm11x
      @xkm11x 3 роки тому +1

      Also thank you for having no ads in this video.

    • @jessicaclarke1913
      @jessicaclarke1913 2 місяці тому

      Me too ❤

  • @vickytran1999
    @vickytran1999 3 роки тому +16

    Each time I listen to this, I feel myself coming back a little more

  • @AckermanYuki
    @AckermanYuki 3 роки тому +36

    You seriously helped me through my panic attack
    i feel more like im back in my body now but not quite and that's okay thank you so much

  • @kokoyoung4411
    @kokoyoung4411 3 роки тому +28

    this comment section makes me feel like I’m not alone :)

  • @tougerunss8241
    @tougerunss8241 4 роки тому +34

    This video has helped me ground myself, I seriously thought my depersonalization was gonna get worse. This video knocked my anxiety and depersonalization back by several notches. Thank you so much 🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @pariswolf7299
    @pariswolf7299 3 роки тому +48

    I don’t get moved to tears often but this did. It gave me a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a year now. Thank you so much, I’ll be listening to this every day 🖤

  • @isabelmcqueen1324
    @isabelmcqueen1324 3 роки тому +17

    i cant thank you enough i have almost come back to reality. i struggle a lot with depersonalization

    • @braytymeo8036
      @braytymeo8036 2 роки тому

      Has it gone

    • @isabelmcqueen1324
      @isabelmcqueen1324 2 роки тому +2

      @@braytymeo8036 yes it actually has thankfully it slowly went away a few months ago !

  • @PhatBoyFresh
    @PhatBoyFresh 3 роки тому +18

    Using this right now during a panic attack. 12 minutes in and the shaking finally stopped.

    • @zoemilinkovic
      @zoemilinkovic 3 роки тому

      Surrender, relax and release. It gets better with practice.

  • @lacimartin467
    @lacimartin467 Рік тому +17

    i can not explain to you how much this video helps me everyday. i’ve been suffering from this 24/7 for about two months now. every time i feel extreme to panic, i listen to this video over and over again until i’m calmed down enough. i’m still always in a constant state of anxiety and panic because of how terrifying all these feeling are but i’m trying to have hope that i’ll be out soon. i really hope my constant suffering ends soon.

  • @beeboop1777
    @beeboop1777 3 роки тому +24

    i recently went through a very bad period of dp because my anxiety was bad, and this video has helped me so much. i finally am starting to feel like myself again and this video really saved me so thank you.

  • @ricardodavila5140
    @ricardodavila5140 4 роки тому +45

    Hey man 6 months ago i felt like i was going crazy,i just feel relieved and better each and every day ,i just wanna thank you for helping all of us :) Much love from houston😁

  • @lizzieferguson8155
    @lizzieferguson8155 8 місяців тому +2

    i’ve been going thru dissociation for almost a year now, it’s scary and i felt as if i would never get better and i would never be who i am again. mine comes in episodes, from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep i feel like i am not really here. i’m now feeling hopeful, and getting help from a licensed professional. she helped bring me back into reality for the first time in months, and i almost cried as i felt myself fading back into my dissociative state. if you are going through the same thing as i am, just know you will get through this, you’ve got this, you are loved and you will get through this. remind yourself every day that you are you and when you breathe remind yourself that it is your breathing. when you are moving your fingers remind yourself that those are your fingers. try to imagine everything around you to ground yourself and eventually you will forget that you were ever going through this.

    • @araiq7005
      @araiq7005 8 місяців тому

      I'm afraid it will be permanent? What if this is permanent

  • @notkavgg6490
    @notkavgg6490 2 роки тому +11

    thank you, i was feeling like i was going insane and this grounded me to an extent i can’t even explain. this saved me from a never ended dread

    • @dhruvimistry1624
      @dhruvimistry1624 2 роки тому

      Did fear of dpdr converting into pychosis scared you?

  • @little_miss_vintage
    @little_miss_vintage 3 роки тому +25

    Perfect, not just for depersonalization but also anxiety. This made me feel better instantly

  • @SupMitchiz
    @SupMitchiz 5 років тому +98

    Beautifully done. Thank you so much for creating this for such a lacking/overlooked mental health issue. I’ve had DPDR chronically for almost 3 years now, and listening to this gave me a feeling of confidence I have lacked for far too long. Huge respect for you my man ❤️

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  5 років тому +4

      Wonderful to hear that. Wishing you well in your recovery.

    • @shannongalvin244
      @shannongalvin244 3 роки тому +3

      I am currently going through it now for nearly three years I hope this works for me too ❤️

    • @SupMitchiz
      @SupMitchiz 3 роки тому +1

      @@shannongalvin244 All the best (: I'm currently trying Jordan Hardgrave's DPDR course and I recommend it

    • @shannongalvin244
      @shannongalvin244 3 роки тому +1

      @MitchPleaseMusic I’m in the middle of it too but trying to get myself to actually sit down and do it 🙈

    • @SupMitchiz
      @SupMitchiz 3 роки тому

      @@shannongalvin244 Haha yeah it's long but the sooner you do it you can apply it without having to keep watching the videos (: Do you have insta?

  • @emilyhunt6033
    @emilyhunt6033 3 роки тому +36

    Hey I’ve been in this episode for about a month now and I’ve listened to your meditation twice and I already feel sooo much better. I’m going to listen every day next week. Thank you so much, this is amazing!!

  • @kale7939
    @kale7939 2 роки тому +5

    I’ve been dealing with dpdr for 10 years now, some periods are harder than others but I promise it will get better

  • @eoinmcsweeney2632
    @eoinmcsweeney2632 8 місяців тому +4

    God bless you guys going through dpdr. It gets better

  • @ricardodavila5140
    @ricardodavila5140 3 роки тому +14

    SWAMMYYYYYY I HAVENT THOUGHT ABLUT DO IN LIKE FOUR WEEKS ,IT FEELS LIKE IF BEEN SCARED OF NOTHING ,THANKY YOUUUUUU ,IM NOT FULLY RECOVERED BUT WHEN I DO FEEL DP I LET LOOSE AND LET IT PASS BY!!! Thank uuuu😁

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому

      How are u now

    • @ricardodavila5140
      @ricardodavila5140 3 роки тому

      @@parishorton1300 ok first off ,you are not crazy ,distract yourself,also remember,dp is not put to haunt you ,if anything it’s here to protect you ,I started off by distracting myself a lot ,everyone thought I was crazy when I would explain to them about dp ,when u feel dp just say “ehh whatever ,it’s just dp” but most importantly,you are not crazy ,we are all in this together!!! Much love guys

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому +3

      @@ricardodavila5140 I am very depressed I can be doing stuff and the most depressing thang will pop up in my head , I hate it , I wanna be happy again I wanna fall inlove with life again I try to distract myself but how do I do that to the sucidal thoughts thank u for responding I appreciate it

    • @mathewluzado5108
      @mathewluzado5108 3 роки тому

      @@parishorton1300 Same even I get the same thoughts but whenever I feel low or dpdr I just distract myself by talking to my friends or doing my routine work.I know this is hard but trust me when we are happy or not worried you won't even think of dpdr.I have been meditating a lot and one thing I have learnt from meditation is that If our mind creates stress then it should also create peace.

    • @parishorton1300
      @parishorton1300 3 роки тому

      @@mathewluzado5108 thank you , yes I agree it does it’s just hard to control like soemtimes I’m just thinking like if I ever felt okay again normal again how could i ? Like idk

  • @sineadw5959
    @sineadw5959 11 місяців тому +7

    So glad come across this video, this is now my daily meditation video. Been in this state for nearly a year now. I’m hoping to find my happiness and peace again. Thank you. And to everyone out there you are not alone we are all going through it together sending lots of love ❤

    • @lizzieferguson8155
      @lizzieferguson8155 8 місяців тому

      hi love, i’ve been going thru the same thing as u, and i see this comment was posted 2 months ago, just wondering how things are going? are you still in recovery? or have you beat this and are now feeling yourself again?

  • @elanafonfeder9533
    @elanafonfeder9533 3 роки тому +1

    Hello,
    I just want to say a genuine thank you! This help me beyond measure.

  • @mirandamartinez8174
    @mirandamartinez8174 3 роки тому

    Thank you so much ❤️ this made me feel more calm, hopeful and understood

  • @mairajohn
    @mairajohn 3 роки тому +16

    thank you. i am suffering from anxiety and depression due to a miscarriage this year during covid. i have been experiencing lots of dp feelings and sometimes i get overwhelmed with fear that this will never go away. thank you for making this meditation. it calmed my heart and reminded me to trust that this is part of my healing process and that this will go away. 🙏🏽

    • @JatinderSingh-dk5fl
      @JatinderSingh-dk5fl 3 роки тому +3

      Hello
      Can we form a group including people who recovered from dp/dr
      And people who are suffering from dp/dr.

    • @alexb8926
      @alexb8926 3 роки тому

      @@JatinderSingh-dk5fl I believe theres a facebook group

    • @milliejaymoon
      @milliejaymoon 2 роки тому +1

      How are you now Maira?

    • @mairajohn
      @mairajohn 2 роки тому

      @@milliejaymoon hi! thanks for asking. i'm so much better than this time last year. i've learned a lot about dp since then. i still experience it from time to time, but i'm no longer afraid of it and treat it like any other symptom of anxiety-which it is. it's been a really helpful tool for my recovery. xo

  • @susanhunter5598
    @susanhunter5598 4 роки тому +1

    Wow, God bless and thank you, powerful!!

  • @Lullabybabyzzz
    @Lullabybabyzzz 3 роки тому +2

    Very Helpful!!! You have no idea how much this helps

  • @saggynostrils1549
    @saggynostrils1549 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you so much for your content.

  • @lamarsavage173
    @lamarsavage173 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you so so so so so much I needed this.
    God bless you ❤️

  • @SamaraMoores
    @SamaraMoores 2 роки тому +3

    I come back to this video so often. I could never say thank you enough for this, thank you.

  • @mayhorseradish
    @mayhorseradish 2 роки тому

    Thank you for creating this video, it's truly amazing the effect your words and voice have!

  • @cortney4490
    @cortney4490 2 роки тому +4

    i wasn’t expecting to be so moved by this, but i was! nearly brought me to tears. my body and mind truly do know how to heal and balance themselves. thank you for the reminder, and thank you for releasing this video.

  • @emchorgan1
    @emchorgan1 4 роки тому +1

    this meditation saved me last night...that's amazing ..thank you ..so much love xx

  • @jaimewise8916
    @jaimewise8916 3 роки тому

    Thank you so so much for this. I have been struggling really bad for two months now I haven’t been working. I’ve been staying at my moms. I have never needed to hear a recording more in my life. This brought me so much hope, something I haven’t felt in a while. Thank you again.

  • @Badnewsfeminist
    @Badnewsfeminist Рік тому +1

    I can’t tell you how much I needed this tonight. Thank you.

  • @braxtonm9712
    @braxtonm9712 2 роки тому

    Thank you for making this video. Much love

  • @briannaadamson8376
    @briannaadamson8376 3 роки тому +7

    Thank you SO much for this 🙏🏽🤍 Including this in my daily routine. God bless you!

  • @RayDayPlays
    @RayDayPlays Рік тому

    Thank you so much for this, friend. It is exactly what I needed.

  • @meems3eb
    @meems3eb Рік тому +1

    I feel so blessed to have found this. It is perfect for what I've been experiencing.

  • @jimoncken6936
    @jimoncken6936 2 роки тому

    This is the best guided meditation on the internet!

  • @kevannag9064
    @kevannag9064 3 роки тому +1

    this really helps me sooo much when i need it. thank you for making this.

  • @naorgreene5068
    @naorgreene5068 2 роки тому

    I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    This video helped me get through one of the most terrible panic attacks, one of the many that i have in the past week.
    I wish us all to feel better and stronger

  • @fragstars5378
    @fragstars5378 2 роки тому +7

    Thank you so much for this, mine began 2 weeks ago completely at random and I suddenly feared death to the extreme and felt like I was experiencing the end of my conscious mind, it was horrible and dreamlike.. this meditation has done wonders and everyday I’ve been using this and your others to get through it, each day gets easier. Thank you so much I wish you the absolute best in life you are doing an amazing thing with these videos and truly changing lives.

    • @professorlate4988
      @professorlate4988 Рік тому

      How are you doing now

    • @fragstars5378
      @fragstars5378 Рік тому

      @@professorlate4988 I’m mostly okay during the day now it only comes on when I’m really tired. So I’ll get small panics at night before sleep but at least that’s the only time it’s really effecting me rather than all through the day at intervals!
      Working out helps a bunch and I’ve limited alcohol to special occasions as hangovers can trigger it for me, same for weed, I’ve smoked a few here and there when I’m awake and focused but noticed by the nighttime it will make the panic more intense so had to give that a rest. Just a matter of being patient and being kind to yourself and your mind and body

  • @rachaelbavaro4675
    @rachaelbavaro4675 3 роки тому

    Wow. Thank you so much for this. I get very bad anxiety and anxiety attack, especially while working.. (I do uber eats). When my anxiety gets really bad I also get derealization attacks.. im currently listening to this while I work/drive and im just so grateful that you took the time go put this out there to help me, as well as others who suffer from this awful experience. Thank you!! ❤

  • @UpgradedColtony
    @UpgradedColtony 3 роки тому +8

    This was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard... Thank you so much for this. And to anyone reading this, you are loved... and you are safe. ❤ This too shall pass.

  • @zoinksscoob97
    @zoinksscoob97 2 роки тому

    Thank you for this video. I’ve watched it just two times in a few days and it’s helped me come down from panic attacks. You’ve made handling, or should I say letting go, much easier.

  • @Lalujamama5
    @Lalujamama5 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you i had this on and off in my life x

  • @sardeystallings0123
    @sardeystallings0123 2 роки тому +4

    Okay, so for the first time in 3 months, I have felt a PIECE OF REALITY!!!!! I listened to this video with the lights off, my eyes closed and laying in the bed. I started crying. It hit home. As I started to feel hopefull, a weird sensation overwhelmed my body. It felt like I was having a panic attack. I got scared but I remembered that, for the first time in a long time, I felt happy and I believed in myself. My body started to convulse just like my panic attacks, but I listened to these words and it filled my heart with joy. The video was starting to end and I noticed a bug on my phone. I turned my flash light on, and looked at the wall. IT WAS THE CLEAREST THING I'VE SEEN IN A MINUTE. Nothing has made me budge, up until this point. I'm a hardheaded thinker. My thoughts would literally eat me up to the point where I would have a panic attack, and I wouldn't know where I am, who I am, and what time it was. (I'm speaking in past tense cuz all of this is gonna be behind, I'm accepting it but I am not claiming it. I have it, but it is not mine to keep) I am so grateful for you, and for this video. I'm going to listen to this everyday. I'm scared but I am the only one that can put a stop to this. *THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!!!!!*

  • @Soupky
    @Soupky Рік тому

    I had tears while doing this, thank you

  • @kingindigo4215
    @kingindigo4215 2 роки тому +5

    Bro this is the best thing that’s happened to meet in the last month. I’ve had been feeling dpdr symptoms for the last month and this has helped me face this and get through this. Thank you man and I hope I can speak to you personally

  • @punksnotdeadbiatch1427
    @punksnotdeadbiatch1427 3 роки тому +5

    Thank you so much for this, it helped me a lot, I am so grateful. Again, thank you, you made my reality more.. real and valid.

  • @ivanmartinez498
    @ivanmartinez498 Рік тому +1

    you are truly a life saver. your videos and affirmations have helped me feel grounded so many times

  • @christiansaravia7865
    @christiansaravia7865 3 роки тому +5

    This is exactly what I needed thank you so much

  • @Soundscapes527
    @Soundscapes527 2 роки тому

    Thank you for this. I am struggling with this right now 💞🙏

  • @arsiyahgurung400
    @arsiyahgurung400 3 роки тому

    Thankyou So much ❤️ you are truely amazing !

  • @kaylawayla523
    @kaylawayla523 3 роки тому +5

    Im 13 and sometimes I feel like Im dead and im just a spirit it really upsets me and I also have intrusive thoughts wich makes it so much worse I cry because I’m so scared 🥺 and sometimes I get words mixed up and when I’m talking to someone I can’t concentrate and start to talk nonsense and stutter but it makes me feel so much better to see other people I can relate to and I feel like they understand more

    • @merr3798
      @merr3798 3 роки тому +1

      Hi! Did it went away?

  • @millie9270
    @millie9270 2 роки тому

    tysm for this a feel a bit better after 1 listen, im going to keep listening more, im sooo grateful for you and you're my hero, tysm again 💖💗

  • @zaynjavaddmaalikxo8940
    @zaynjavaddmaalikxo8940 3 роки тому +22

    Please, if anyone else has experienced derealisation or depersonalisation can we all form an online group or something. I just wanna speak to people who know how it feels.

    • @RealSwamyG
      @RealSwamyG  3 роки тому +2

      There are already a few on FB, just search for depersonalization.

    • @Athawri
      @Athawri 2 роки тому +1

      have you got snapchat ?

    • @moonlightlover3345
      @moonlightlover3345 2 роки тому +1

      Please I need to know if there is one

    • @iluvziah
      @iluvziah 2 роки тому +1

      yes add me!

    • @Pooja-sw1zn
      @Pooja-sw1zn 2 роки тому +1

      @@RealSwamyG I want to join this course please add me in your group

  • @deebo6836
    @deebo6836 Рік тому

    i've had dpdr for over a year now and i have been going through a great spiritual awakening and this mediation is amazing. thank you

  • @oliverbradley5418
    @oliverbradley5418 2 роки тому +1

    Seriously man you are the only person who’s helped me 💜 thank you

  • @ciariecoo
    @ciariecoo 3 роки тому +4

    This really helped me today. Thank you so much.

  • @xoxovera
    @xoxovera 3 роки тому +6

    Thank you so much for this meditation. It always make me feel better and i feel instant relief immediately. I struggle with extreme DPDR and anxiety for third year now. I am only 17 years old. But your videos help me feel even little bit more like myself, like a human, and take me back to reality and presence. I have a really long road in front of me, but i am so grateful that you can accompany me on the path to healing❤

  • @FatFroggers
    @FatFroggers 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much you have helped me recover 80%

  • @katie9877
    @katie9877 3 роки тому

    im pretty sure u just saved my life. literally

  • @ashleyriosrizo
    @ashleyriosrizo Рік тому +1

    This is very comforting. I wish I had you next to me. Thank you. 🙏

  • @Johnlingle-ex9sz
    @Johnlingle-ex9sz 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you man I thought I was going insane I tried going to my friends but they just mocked me and made fun of me for it I felt like I was alone I thought I was going insane thank you man I love you for making this video I feel so much better I kept having panic attacks and mental breakdowns but thanks to you it's slowly going away All the respect to you man I love you for making this video

    • @jenniferleviseedegraw507
      @jenniferleviseedegraw507 4 місяці тому +1

      You are not crazy. I’ve been going through this for almost 5 months. People who don’t know can’t help they think it’s a joke or created drama. I also put on worship music. I recommend to listen to Melissa helser. Sound mind. Along with meditation.

  • @junegoodings3973
    @junegoodings3973 2 роки тому

    Thank you so so much for this video it is a lovely Mediterranean video the man's voice so calming and relaxing just what I needed to help me calm down with my DP/,Dr so grateful 🙏

  • @kevannag9064
    @kevannag9064 2 роки тому +6

    whenever i get this feeling again i come back to your video. you calm me down and make me feel better about everything, thank you so much i hope you’re doing good now ❤️

  • @ivanmartinez498
    @ivanmartinez498 Рік тому

    time and time again this video has helped me so much. genuinely you are an angel. i hope to do the same as what you do once i am recovered. i genuinely want to help anyone struggling with this very weird disorder

  • @hi-cn4bu
    @hi-cn4bu 3 роки тому +13

    OMG this actually worked,Thank you so much ❤😊😊

  • @josefsultan3828
    @josefsultan3828 4 роки тому +2

    Man i dont know how to thank you:( but i just want to say you are the real hero thank you for the motivation❤️❤️

  • @laurenandy5884
    @laurenandy5884 3 роки тому +3

    This made me so emotional

  • @lesliecervantes9884
    @lesliecervantes9884 4 роки тому +4

    this really helped me a lot and i love your videos it helps me everyday .

  • @andrewelger5552
    @andrewelger5552 3 роки тому

    I’ve dealt with this for years now and it’s a struggle but I believe I can get better!

  • @vanilija6680
    @vanilija6680 2 роки тому +2

    im going to listen to this everyday many times. i need these words alot. thank you ❤️🙏

  • @hadleymeek2141
    @hadleymeek2141 2 роки тому +5

    I’ve had dpdr for almost a year and a half. It’s gotten so much better since I first noticed I had it, it’s still an everyday battle where it doesn’t feel like it’ll go away. I know it will I can feel it. Thank you for this I listen to it every night

  • @carnellmanson6797
    @carnellmanson6797 3 роки тому +11

    ive been feeling derealization for 2 weeks straight, I makes me remember when I had bad dreams as a kid, im taking hydronxyine, I personally take half a tab of 25mg, try running because when anxiety attacks happen, it either happens because you need to move that energy from your heart to your muscles

    • @merr3798
      @merr3798 3 роки тому +2

      Hi, do you still have derealization? Because it’s almost a week for me.. I just want to go back to normal

    • @carnellmanson6797
      @carnellmanson6797 3 роки тому +3

      Merr no i no longer have derealization just stay strong, don’t think about it because thinking about it makes it worse just do things and try to have fun because i notice if you ignore it you feel it but it doesn’t make you freak out then it fades

    • @carnellmanson6797
      @carnellmanson6797 3 роки тому +1

      Merr no i no longer have derealization just stay strong, don’t think about it because thinking about it makes it worse just do things and try to have fun because i notice if you ignore it you feel it but it doesn’t make you freak out then it fades

    • @merr3798
      @merr3798 3 роки тому

      @@carnellmanson6797 Okay! I’m glad it went aways. Thank you for your advice :)

  • @Rushhhh444
    @Rushhhh444 Рік тому

    Thank you so much, this is saving my life quite literally