the age of achievement: america's obsession with prodigy
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- Опубліковано 20 січ 2022
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In today's video, I discuss America's obsession with the age of achievement and the middle class American obsession with prodigy and accomplishing noteworthy things before you're 30!
~sources~
Here's Everything That's Wrong With Our 'Under 30' Obsession
www.huffpost.com/entry/why-30...
Concerted Cultivation Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concert...
Unequal Childhoods: Annette Lareau
• Unequal Childhoods: An...
The Privileged Poor
www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.p...
Teen Vogue Article I was in
www.teenvogue.com/story/black...
Forbes 30 Under 30
www.forbes.com/sites/michaeln...
The Worst of Youth
slate.com/human-interest/2011...
Nothing New Genius Annotation
genius.com/Taylor-swift-nothi...
Millennials' Youth Obsession Is Stressing Them Out!
www.huffpost.com/entry/millen...
~socials~
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tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@amandapanda76... 6772018427601257478&tt_from=copy&source=h5_m
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"When you're ten, they call you a prodigy. When you're fifteen, they call you a genius. Once you hit twenty, you're just an ordinary person."
FREE!
- Nanase haruka 😁
Despite not having watched free since middle school this video immediately called this quote into my mind. It resonated with me so much back then as someone worried about not meeting my parent's expectations.
Gonna have to disagree there partner, Alexander the Great was around 20 when he conquered the known world.
@@kingkoi6542 Alexander the Great lived two thousand years ago. Hardly a good analogy.
I think a reason why we’re so obsessed with young achievement is because of our mortality. People think that if you achieve young, you can achieve a lot in life overall. Achievement and productivity is what keeps capitalism going. But no one talks about how empty your life can feel after you’ve completed your bucket list by 30. I don’t think people realize that they’re going to be living for DECADES, maybe even a century. Like we know, but it’s a hard concept to grasp. I wish we could just exist without having to participate in this damn rat race.
THISSS
Exactly
EXACTLY OMG
What most people don't realize is that the average millionaire is in his 60's. It takes a lot of time to have great success. The ones who become successful at a young age tend to be lucky. Certain things broke their way to attain success at a very young age.
Can you please explain me what capitalism means in the simplest way possible.
The pressure to be some great prodigy was so intense when I was younger, every birthday that passed is like further away from getting a headline saying *youngest ever __*
Wow this shouldn’t be relatable but it is
This is extremely relatable. I even afraid of aging. I'm just 16, but this mind-set consumes me to not let me live my life without worries.
I cried reading this. It really struck a nerve I’ve felt like a freak for years about that desire. I’m now 30 and feel like shit but achievements are amazing at any age x
This is so accurate. It got to the point where little kid me that was growing older would be envious of younger really talented little kids because I was never going to reach that child prodigy level. I was even a pretty smart kid, but I was so hard on myself for no reason!!
Jesus, you are all me. I’ve had intense anxiety over every birthday since I turned 15. My biggest issue is still, at the age of 23, how I cope with the fact that I’m 23.
i’m so glad to see that this is actually being discusssed. what people don’t realise is that as soon as these children are recognised for their talents, their childhood no longer exists. they’ve morphed into a weird borderline of adulthood.
I agree completely! With this sense of an early adulthood/lack of childhood that has been experienced/aligned with many young success stories, personally I’ve also found an odd sense of guilt associated with actually having a childhood in your teen years. Tying in to that pressure and hustle culture to achieve noticeable success at a young age, the existence of having taken the time to have a childhood and not having had that pressure (or passion) placed upon oneself emphasizes that guilt and lack of self worth that accompanies the culture of youth and the early adulthood.
For sure. I feel like I was never allowed to act my age because I was a Smart Kid and had to be a shining example of intellect & achievement all the time
I think people glamorizing children are the ones who’re fulfilling their childhood dreams for them. The problem goes is that these children are fulfilling these fantasies and are now sacrificing their childhood to fulfill adult fantasies
when i read outliers i didnt like the section where the author praised a school that ran for pretty long hours and gave so much homework that it seemed like the young girl who was in the school and talked about it didnt have any time to like, live. rest of the book is great, but that rubbed me the wrong way
@@sophiagonzales8974 EXACTLY
As an early 20 something year old constantly trying to ward off a quarter life crisis I’m so happy someone is finally talking about this ☺️🙏🏽
people have definitely spoken on this before, just not enough though
I KNOW I never understood what the quarterlife crisis was and I thought it would evade me but it has not. It’s so hard to ward off 😭
I turn 18 tomorrow and im having this crisis right now. I feel old, i feel like i haven't done enough meanwhile so many people my age and younger are doing big things. I don't have the resources or time to fix my life and be the person i always wanted to be.
@@Lynn-ip9sh OH MY GOODNESS lol you are 17. 99.9% of people have not done anything even remotely meaningful by your age. You have so much time!! Don’t worry. I feel like the Emma chamberlains of the world have given us a false sense of what you should be doing by that age.
@@Lynn-ip9sh when I was 16 I convinced myself that 17 would be the year my life “began,” and everyday I waited to turn 17, and when I did I waited again for my life to start, like it was just gonna be a flip of a switch. It was on my mind every. Single. Day. And i kept getting closer to 18, which gave me more anxiety. When COVID hit, I felt relieved that everything shut down (gave me a chance to “catch up”) but I was getting even closer to 18, and I eventually had a mini meltdown. After turning 18 I turned 19, and I’ll be turning 20 in a few months, but I feel much better and more confident in what I wanna do. I still don’t have it all figured out ofc, but I no longer feel it’s too late for me, and I hope you’ll feel better too💕💕
honestly i’m impressed by people doing things way older than others. it’s so easy for people to succumb to false ideas of it being “too late” to accomplish something past certain ages so i celebrate ppl who push against that. like when i read about people being 60s, 70s, 80s and above changing some aspect of their lives or taking up something new i love that. i don’t even think it’s rare either it’s just that it’s not focused on because of society’s obsession with accomplishment during youth
good advice, need to remind myself to think this way more often!
Never thought of it like that, thanks for this new perspective!
Charles Bukowski gave up writing for ten years, worked full time in a factory and for the postal service. He didn’t begin to really gain any notoriety until he was in his late 40’s. Yet, he is one of the most influential modern American poets. I remember him saying once that he felt that it was wrong to have success so young, since you haven’t really lived your life yet, it was his experiences in life that gave him the insight and wisdom behind his writing.
Even here on UA-cam you see people having success in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Examples are everywhere.
I agree ! That's inspiring to me too. Makes me see how life is actually long when you live old of course
You're not lying. Post college I have never felt so low in my life. At 26 in 2022, I've just come to terms of just living my best life and being concerned with my own happiness.
Same. I was extremely depressed and disillusioned after graduation. I will say though that this experience has forced me to stop viewing my happiness & self-worth through the lens of traditional, socially-constructed success markers.
Absolutely agree. I think it’s so much more important to chase happiness than money and all that other stuff. Like yes, work toward your goals but don’t break your neck doing it 😂
This. Just huge bouts of depression, lots of rejection in fields of interest, huge debt, 2 years of lockdown where my industry was all but shut down and having to pick up after with everyone looking at you like but more so me looking at myself despite this and still saying; it’s been 3 years since you graduated, what have you to show for it?
I turn 25 in a few months and I barely sleep I’m so anxious all the time and just worried about life and feeling like a failure. I didn’t think it would look like this after college, lockdowns or no.
@@Blahgirl283 I don't know if that helps, but I think nobody has figured out their lives at that age. You only lived a few years as an adult by now, and have probably more than 50 years left. That's more than enough time to find your place in the world. And what you think is the right place for you might change several times in the next decades anyway.
i'm 26 and after changing my major 2 times because of depression and other mental illnesses, and an attempt to my life, I'm only now starting my first diploma. At 26. I feel really bad about it, but at least I'm trying to slowly work on myself 🥲 that's what i tell myself anyway
thank you, I rlly needed this video. even as a 17 year old girl myself, i feel like my youth is fleeting and that i havent achieved nearly enough as my peers. I look at young STEM prodigies and even music stars like olivia rodrigo and just fall into a panic, wondering how I'll live up to that with only 2 years of teenhood left. 😭 Ig a lot of us teens and young adults forget that we literally have our whole lives ahead of us to achieve our goals - and even if we dont end up achieving them, we still have to recognize that we're not any lesser than the people who have
If you ever want to pursue something of interest, or you want to do your hobby, whatever interests you, I would say go for it. Enjoy your youth as well and try not to get too stressed. I was stressed too often in my teens and in my 20s I am trying to take better care of myself, like getting more sleep. Make sure to take care of yourself as well. Good luck and you got this!
@@paolaanimator thank you!!💜
this except i'm not already 19 lol. i gave a lot planned for this last year of teenagehood that i'm already overwhelmed by them (get a job, start oil painting which i've been putting off for years, start new hobbies, learn 2 more languages, take my academics seriously, etc.) i just set up myself to fail already lol
im 17 too and i feel the same way 🥲 there are celebrities my age that are doing so much with their life, and i feel like im doing absolutely nothing :/
You have to realize that not everyone will be a celebrity or a prodigy. Also, don’t compare. I know it’s easy but we all have different life paths and know that life is anything but linear. You have a lot of life to experience. Good luck!
I remember Billie Eilish saying that when you're young you get a lot of attention for doing things that people don't care about when you're an adult.
that actually makes a ton of sense.
I don't think we can ignore how capitalism affects your perception of what is a successful, productive life. Even teenagers are caught up in hustle culture, monetizing their hobbies, because otherwise it feels like "time wasted". So this notion that existing without producing = wasted life is one of the most toxic imo, and contributes immensely to quarter-life crises and anxiety about one's usefulness and relevance in society.
LITERALLY
Yup
I think it also more about the people who influential it on the internet and trending on social media , as more and more young naive person believe in what ( Influencer/tiktoker, UA-camr,…etc) saying , they will start acting on it without judgement. Sure everyone want to be successful and live a comfortable life through working hard but people have pushed it to the extreme to be the so called “best version of themselves “ through belittling others and bullying.
Slave labour needs to starts early, or else people will get used to enjoy life before becoming adults and will not join the ranks of underpaid and overworked masses willingly.
teens don’t monetize their skills/talents/hobbies because they feel they have to, rather they do so because they want money to spend on things that their parents probably aren’t willing to waste money on. also for goodness sake, capitalism is GOOD. what people are so against nowadays is actually CORPORATISM, which isn’t so good and i actually quite bad.
my life has gotten significantly better since I started ignoring the Forbes 30 Under 30 list!
That lists and others like it are toxic AF
THIS!
how was it going until then ?
What the hell is that
I thought Instagram, Facebook and other toxic social networks already made teens and young adults miserable by showing idealized and carefully curated feeds of unattainable status and achievements. Glad I never went into the rabbit hole of looking at the mainstream media version of this toxic shenanigan.
I watched this video of an actress being an academic prodigy when she was younger. Starting high school at 12 and college at 16. She said she wouldn’t recommend it because she was too young to do anything and had a hard time making friends. She was incredibly smart but this experiences were so difficult because she was so young.
ooh what's her name ?
@@shaina8947 Not the actress that the previous person was talking about, but this was my personal school experience as well. I was completely uncompetitive in any high school sport or gym class since I was always 2 years younger than my "age bracket" but still expected to compete. My parents had to sign off on my course selections (and other legal things) for my first two years of college since I was under 18. Also, I graduated before I was 21 and therefore never able to legally drink. It became a big part of my identity, "being the youngest", until I was suddenly out of college in the real world and just... wasn't anymore. Unlike the actress mentioned, I did have friends because I clung to band and gamer circles, but for most other social development stuff, I was terribly behind.
@@rocky4264 still a achievement tho someone like me who doesn't like parties or drinking would be loved to be smart like you . I'm a 22 year id0it old starting college just now
I remember when I was Freshman in high school they offered some students the opportunity to do community college and go to school (it was called middle college for high school). My older sister told me not to go as she began community college (it was the same community college she was going to) because she said there was no need to force myself to grow up faster and miss oppertunites in regular high school. I ended up not going but had a friend who went. We kept in touch throughout the whole four years of high school. She said she regretted going because it was an isolating expirence and so much pressure was placed on the students. It honestly sounded like they were expected to do college graduate work at a high school level. She went to a different college than me. Last I spoke to her she still has no idea what she wasn’t to do with her life but is going to graduate school to see if it helps her point in the right direction. I felt bad for her.
Actress name?
everyone is obsessed with life happening at 24... suddenly you're like DEAD by the time you're 30. its disheartening.
What makes me sad is that usually the people who seem like high achievers at such a young age (kids-teen ages), I worry if they might be overworking or always training, not being able to enjoy their youth being innocent or just having fun, they might feel stress or burnout but they need to keep going nonstop and it piles on them even more when they achieve attention in media everywhere, the pressure keeps going. It makes me see that society wants the young kids and teens to grow up too fast.
That was me and I had to be hospitalized (psychiatric) twice in my senior year of hs and my teachers still didn’t really care, just extended deadlines by 2 weeks for some of the new assignments so I could also complete the assignments I missed… I still had fun of sorts in high school but it was nothing like I had imagined or hoped for (maybe I’ll blame media and older generations that talk about the fun of their school days). I was very involved with community serving organizations and had spent almost my entire academic career seeking any opportunity to compete in STEM-related competitions, taking the most challenging classes available to me, and trying to put my best work into my assignments. Thankfully though, I never had tons of media pressure, which I’m sure would have been terrible.
Still, my family became less invested in my academic performance because “excellence” was expected of me and I was still performing well on paper in spite of my worsening physical health (from a chronic disease I have) and overt depression. I felt undeserving of any compliments I received on my achievements because I always felt like I could/should do more and better. I became disillusioned as I no longer saw any inherent value in my academic experience and would only do the bare minimum to save face, get scholarships, and graduate.
Once I let go of the need to give 100% all the time, I gained so much self esteem. Now, I can no longer tolerate classes only because they’re required of me and have to actually be invested in the content (very difficult with US college graduation requirements). I can no longer function on the harmful extrinsic motivators running North American society and have to put so much effort into using intrinsic motivation as a tool. All that’s to say, I agree 100% that these ideals and pressures put on younger ppl are very harmful. And I’d like to add that though the experience has been traumatic, I’ve grown so much and have become much more aware of what’s best for me. ❤️
@@douba_plusa Wait are we the same person? We have the same story. Excellence was expected of me but once my mental and physical health started to fall through the cracks I was considered to be underachieving/a lost cause. Sometimes I think I didn’t “reach my potential” but I feel much better now that I don’t try to overwork myself for the sake of others approval or acceptance.
I think being an actual prodigy is fine. However people are trying to "work" their kids into prodigy. It's bad.
@@jayk1336 😂😂idk maybe. I’d love to meet someone like me cause it’s hard to find anyone to relate to
Hooooo boy. I relate to this HEAVILY.
I am 21, black and afab. In elementary school people told me I was part of the Talented Tenth and that I was destined to be the best of Black America. I was also on Jeopardy Kids Week at the age of 11, and then Who Wants to be a Millionaire when I was 14.
My teen years were full of performance anxiety. My high school gifted & talented program was extremely competitive, to the point where I ended up calling it a "cult of achievement." And for every cool thing that happened to me, and every A on my report card, all I could think was that I had to one-up myself and do something even cooler next time, or people would stop caring about me. When I started to struggle in algebra, my entire identity disappeared because I'd never stopped to think about who I was when I wasn't being The Smart Girl. It got dark. With the places my brain went, I'm genuinely surprised that I'm still alive.
Now I'm in college, I've gone off of my STEM path & picked an English major. I like writing, and I was good enough at it that I got noticed for it in high school. But I still feel like I'm wandering and I also have to get everything right on the first try. Like if I don't immediately get published when I submit something, I'm never gonna be able to afford food and will have nothing to show for myself. And I'm still trying to unlearn that and just live. Because I have to.
Relate so much to the part of having your identity as the " smart girl", and just the complete sense of loss when you feel you no longer are. When I could not get into college immediately after my highschool graduation, it really took out a heavy weight. I felt so shameful, and it was as if something in me broke, just because I could not get into college the first year🤷. I felt like my identity was gone and I suddenly just became the dumbest person around.
Especially when I saw my other mates posting already about their college experience and how happy they were, I truely felt like a failure.
In college now, but even after 4yrs of graduating highschool, I am still unlearning this toxic identity of needing to be the "smartest" or "best". I am doing a lot better, and I hope to reach a point in my life where I am just living with peace and not how much I have to meet the standards of society. Have a blessed day✨
Yes, it’s an unlearning of old belief patterns, we got this 💗
@@Hello-rq9yx oh boy I am going through this "When I could not get into college immediately after my highschool graduation, it really took out a heavy weight. I felt so shameful, and it was as if something in me broke, just because I could not get into college the first year🤷" and I am struggle a fuckton and it's not fun.
This reminded me when I was in elementary school I was a star student I had high marks and there was this one time when I lost 2marks and I got attacked Because I’m not “smart” anymore everyone was laughing and say omg this is the first time I wanted to cry I think I cried when I got back home I was only in elementary school I didn’t deserve that
One thing that might help is remembering that your writing isn't YOU, it's just your writing.
If you don't get published on your first try, or even if you read back your writing and feel like something's wrong, then, you know... that's just a bad piece of writing. You can make a good one next time. It doesn't mean that YOU are bad or worthless or whatever, because it's separate from you.
Idk if that's helpful, I just think separating yourself from your work can help with fear of failure.
I am a fan of kpop music and most group members start at a young age and are so talented. I always catch myself saying, “Wow, look at how young they are. What am I doing with my life? Why am I not THAT talented?
It’s damaging at best .
This video reminded me of Mark Zuckerberg(I think he can be considered a prodigy?). After seeing The Social Network I got curious about his childhood and upbringing and honestly everything made sense. He was raised in a household that really pushed him into the software engineering path, even from a young age. After reading that, it just wasn't impressive that he created Facebook; it was like everything in his life was aligned for that to happen. The part of the parenting style was really interesting and it's not something I have ever related to the prodigy aspect!
@@tati9867 usually they make up rags to riches stories instead
I mean he stole the idea but yeah.
His dad was a dentist, and his mom was a psychiatrist, and they gave him an upper middle-class upbringing. That lifestyle gives you a huge advantage over normal people. If his mom and dad were regular people, he probably doesn't become as successful as he did become.
@@doctorx1924 and theyre jews too. that's prob the biggest reason
@@gerunkwon2598 ????????? what does that have to do with anything? lmao this aint world war 2
it feels like we are disgraces when we're simply not insanely amazing and remarkable at something
now that i am 30, i’m glad i spent so much time divesting myself of all the anxieties your talking about, feels easier to do the things that i actually want to do instead of worrying about comparing myself to others.
I can second that and I wish the same for younger people of today.
exactly
I’m 32 and feel the same way.
Im just turn 18 i practicing that
sadly i am 34 and i still compare myself to others all the time :(
Even if everyone went to the same school and took the same classes, we started out at different levels of privileges and that influences what we accomplish in a given time frame. It makes no sense to place everyone on the same time frame for completing milestones when each person was placed at varying closeness to said milestones to begin with.
Yes! I know you were talking about academics but a few years ago, watching the young US gymnasts the same age as me be praised and do so many “cool” things made me want to be like them (despite being afraid of flipping lmao). Then, I learned that many of the highest performing gymnasts began around ages 4-5. I looked up gymnastics classes for teens and the majority of them were based around mastery! And so many places said nothing about adult classes.
I was like wtf so after 18 you’re just too old to do gymnastics?? And after age 10, you’re supposed to be highly skilled?? These kids are in elementary school! I had barely any say over my life in elementary and that’s a lot of pressure to put on kids who usually haven’t hit puberty yet
@@douba_plusa the anatomy of a young child is just more plastic and malleable, which is why it's almost impossible to succeed in gymnastics if you don't start training at an early age, but you could've just searched this one up..
@@velicanmaria7772Right, but did the children pay for and take themselves to gymnastics classes? Did they research the best schools in their state and sign themselves up?
Even if we take away socio-economic inequality children's outcomes in certain areas are affected by really arbitrary stuff like what time of year they were born!
@@aj7058 What? That has no impact on a person?? Unless you mean a climate/temperature difference, which might lead to different available foodstuffs meaning differentiating nutrients and minerals between us all as we first begin to eat, but I’m making a huge stretch here.
We are literally going through a pandemic right now and so many people are loosing their jobs. Let’s stop putting so much on our selves to achieve so much when we’re going through A LOT internally and externally. It’s okay if you’re not a millionaire by 30. Just existing is already so much😭.
competence before excellence
Entrepreneurial wise most people don't succeed in that forum until their 40's and 50's. By then you have enough life experience and skills to succeed.
that sounds like a case of sour grapes. There's only so much we can lie to ourselves.
this is one of if not THE most comforting and reassuring video i've ever seen.
as a 37 year old white dude with a disability, thank you for this.
Oh my goodness. Disability is a whole nother factor to this topic, too. I’m a black female with a disability.
I’m an Indian guy. I also have a couple minor disabilities.
i agree i feel tired of seeing videos that tell you do this to be successful or do that. or videos of people braging about how successful they are or quite frankly giving a sob story of their life for views. or news coverage of wars or the virus or heck even drama between celebrities.
As a former "gifted" Black youth (I am still Black, obv), this is definitely of note to me. And considering I am doing fine (about to get a doctorate, have a dull but bill-paying career, writing a book and dissertation) but am not some billionaire dynamo, these expectations still have an impact on me. So, yes. I'm trying to raise my son differently.
Why did I laugh at 'I am still Black, obv)
"I'm still black" lol. You would have been a great comedian.
"I'm still black" you sure you aren't transracial or anything?
we dc abt ur son
This video got posted at the perfect time I'm a 16 years old artist who just had a breakdown about not being good enough not extraordinary enough for my age. Achievement as small as it is is worth celebrating. Comparison can be so toxic for your mental health and it's sadly encouraged by society
Sorry for my english it's not my first language
i feel that. i'm 17 and a few months i'll be graduating high school, i can't help but compare my skills (or lack there of) to others my age. especially my art skills. i feel like i'm so behind and unaccomplished and unmotivated towards my career goals now. comparison is the killer of dreams honestly
I’m 17 and an artist too, going through the exact same thing. It is sad that this such a common experience
@@Lavvey 18, there is literally so much pressure to be the best of the best and get 100 times better 100 times quicker
if that makes you feel any better it takes time to improve and since you’re young, that means you have plenty of *decades* left where you’ll be able to perfect your craft :)
At 16 your life hasn't even begun yet.
I am 30 now. married stay at home mom of two. yes I get praised for getting married in my twenties and having kids before turning 30. but honestly? my biggest achievment is peace of mind. I no longer care what people think of me, impressing others, trying to make a difference etc etc. I only care about the saftey and happiness of my family and myself. turning 30 is the best part of my life
Good for you! May your happiness long continue. I sure hope when I get to your age I'm as happy. Do you have any advice for peace of mind?
It’s also gross that people put pressure on young people to get married and have kids. What if they don’t want kids?
An interesting point of this is also from neurodivergent, particurarly, autistic side. Some autistic people are considered "significantly smarter than they should be" in their spheres of interest from young ages because of using specific, non-standard ways of obtaining and analysing information. But that is not celebrated at all, no matter the age, most of the time people have to hide it, because when people don't understand how you do it, they just don't trust you and your skills. So instead of celebration the success is not recognised at all, since it can't be understood, you are not supposed to have this success, especially if you're young and don't have academic degrees.
I feel this fr
This reminds me of when my ND brother did an amazing project for the science fair. It was so good that he went onto the state science fair! But the state coordinators accused him of cheating/getting help from our parents, and he was disqualified. Because dog forbid an autistic kid did his own amazing project by himself 😤
@@hobihope2981 Dang! That's messed up
Absolutely. I'm autistic and my special interest is art. I've always been really good at drawing from a young age and have been labeled as a "child prodigy" and people sometimes accuse me of tracing. :/ And coming from someone who was in that "prodigy" perspective, it's mentally damaging when you're young and people praise you for being really good at your age, but then you grow older and now you're just "good" at what you do so you stop improving, as if getting that "child prodigy" trophy was all you needed in the long run. While I've moved past the whole "you're so good for your age" thing and starting improving without needing others approval, there's another side to it (specifically for autistic people); we're usually only good at the things we have a special interest in. And for me, that includes the arts like drawing, writing, fashion, etc., but anything else like math, science, or communicating, I'm horrible at understanding. It was especially confusing because I was put in the gifted classes as well as the special education classes. I thought that there was something wrong with me and that only actual "child prodigies" could be smart in every subject. People love to dehumanize the "child prodigies" because they think they're good at everything and are better than everyone else but we're not.
Honestly, at this point I don't want to associate myself with a prodigy. It's awful. And with being autistic, you're either dehumanized because you're smarter than everyone else or dumber. Either way you're not viewed as human.
ADHD too to a certain extent
I loved to hear somebody talking about this!! as 22 year old, this is a big part of my anxiety and depressed episodes...I feel like by now I should have already done something big, meaningful and important and didn't and I really think about it everyday. or at least should already have a direction in life towards it, which isn't the case
I spent 4 years in a 5-years uni degree that was making me miserable and now I'm doing a gap year to study and apply to another degree and feel like I'm already running out of time
Girl u are only 22. U have ur whole life ahead of u all of these things are an illusion. It’s not real. Our society highlights exceptions to the rule. Everything is going to be okay. 👌🏿
I feel you!! I just graduated myself and am trying to figure out where I’m heading in the future so I’m doing a gap year. Seeing other people already have everything set for them, and who have accomplished x y and z is hard and I can’t help but feel like I’m a failure or not good enough to ever achieve those things myself. I’ve been trying to get into the headspace where I’m only concerned with what I want to do, and ignoring everyone and everything else. It’s not easy, but deleting social media has helped me a lot with that. We got this!!!
you're so right. i'm 23 and i actually already have a degree, but i still feel so behind in life - a lot of my peers seem to have successful "side hustles", traveled the whole world or had the coolest internships. i feel like something is missing and i'm just painfully average. i keep reminding myself that i should be proud of myself no matter what and that many others were born into privilege.
Odds are you'll live well into your 80s or 90s. You have more than 60 years left to do whatever you want. That's your whole life until now three times over. At least things that don't have a ticking clock on them like having kids but with modern medicine who knows.
@@luna1r How did your peers mange to get succesful side hustles and travel the world yet? In order to get good jobs youd have to have a certification, degree, or work experience. How could they even afford travelling?
Damn I remember when Billie Eillish who is around my age was being highly praised for her youth. I remember feeling so pressured when I would read people praises of her that say "She's 16, what are you doing with your life?"
Billie Eilish grew up with musicians and she was homeschooled and always taught music + her brother made most of her music and helped her. She also has the right phsical looks to be marketable
Hate it when people say "what are you doing with your life you're 'x age'", it's so toxic
@@sarahs8371 they’re literally projecting lmfao
She won 5 Grammies at 19 , it almost feels rigged
@@FakefulandDisgracedSlaveClass she was actually 18
To be honest lorde comes from a very affluent family who have connections in the music industry. So don't feel bad about not being a huge success in your teens. Just enjoy being a kid.
I didn't know that
Honestly, I would guess that's the case for most pop stars, actors, or anyone who is able to pursue the arts full time. Many people are not willing or not encouraged to take on the risk of pursuing a career in the arts unless they have a financial safety net to fall back on.
I started feeling like a failure at 16 now at 26 I just started to actually feel okay about myself. I still have no remarkable accomplishments but now I'm okay with that 😂
Same! I felt like I was destined for something at 17 now I'm turning 24 and my entire twenties had just been a mental crisis to me especially when the pandemic came... Still working on being okay! I hope to be like you slowly and accepting my journey.
Same. I’m also 26 and raised poor. Made 120k last year net worth in investments if that counts as impressive.
Which I’m sure to a lot of people it probably does.
@@nickb3345 that is super impressive congrats!
I grew up on welfare and am still on welfare my big aim in life is to get a normal job
I personally knew some people on the Forbes 30 under 30 for Africa (2015) and had met some of them through an organisation I used to work for. Many are living average lives. One is in jail for fraud. Potential doesn't often lead to real outcome and life is not linear.
I’m 32 y/o single mother, I lived life under my own terms…went to college…didn’t do much with my degree…became a mom at 28, got engaged, broke that because it was a waste of my time. Now, Im working to get a house for my son and I. All in all I’m pretty fulfilled and happy with my mediocre life.
Needless to say, there’s no blueprint.. live life accordingly…only thing I would do over again if I had the opportunity to is to pursue my first career move (nursing)…and for me it’s still not “too late”.
I just reached the mid 20s and I'm slowly understanding that things take time in life, sure don't waste time but have patience.
I definitely fall into the “privileged poor” category having come from a Black “inner city” single mother household, and ending up at a northeastern boarding school on scholarship. That designation def put a lot of things into perspective for me.
This video came at just the right time. I turned 25 yesterday and feel like a failure. I didn’t finish college, I don’t have a house/ apartment of my own, and my job isn’t the worst but I definitely didn’t think I’d still be here when I was this old. I still feel lost. I don’t have a dream job and I still don’t know what to do with my life but this video helped ease my mind a bit about all that
@Jean juju thank you for sharing what you've said cause I needed to see it today. It helped me stop struggling to get out of bed in this moment and that's enough for me. Blessings to you and I hope med school goes well!
What makes so many people feel that way ?
@Jean juju Congrats for daring to do medicine! And that was such an inspiring message.
hey i kind of feel that way at the age of 34 lol i can relate to how you feel.
im 19, trying to work as a professional actress and i am so utterly petrified of missing an opportunity that would be the “big break.” like i look at people like rachel zegler playing maria and snow white and think “that could be you if you didn’t miss _____ audition.” it’s maddening.
You know what’s crazy? Sometimes I tell myself I’m a failure cause I haven’t achieved enough and I’m already 21. But when I read your thumbnail where someone else felt like a failure at 21, I thought to myself wow that’s ridiculous they’re still so young. Interesting how we only put these kinds of unrealistic pressures on ourselves and not others
from the title alone, this is already so relatable. I’m 20 and i feel like i’m failing in so many aspects of my life. I love ur videos btw!!!
yeah i agree just from the title i am already thinking yeah.
what I hate about the praising of young people for being athletic is that it's already much easier when you're younger and also you can only really get into that stuff professionally if your parents have the money and allow you to do so. I'm only able to do so many things now that I'm an adult who has already graduated college and has a job but not a career. but at this point I'm too old to be some amazing athlete.
I would say a lot of sports depends on your genetics. For example, the best basketball players tend to be 6'3 or taller. Very few guys are going to be fortunate to grow that tall. This is why I'm never impressed by athletes. They won the physical genetic lottery
@@doctorx1924 yeah i noticed that too. like in general i feel like people just tend to win a boilogical lottery if they are good at certain things.
This has been plaguing dance and figure skating for years. Like why are 16 yesr old girls allowed to compete in the same category as adult women ? Certainly things just aren't possible for an adult body and certain artistic qualities and unwavering discipline cant be blind expected of children
This was fascinating! Especially the thing about the "privileged poor". I was born in eastern europe in the 90s and grew up dirt poor, like literally, we didn't own a washing machine even, but at the same time, my mum had gone to university with people who later became governemnt ministers and such in our newly independent country, the house was always full of thousands of books and inetlligent discussion and my mum paid for me to go to a private pre school instead of a regular kindergarden even though that meant she couldn't afford to buy shampoo for herself. In the end I guess it paid off since I got a masters from a very good UK uni. But all this means that when class is discussed online, I've never been sure where exactly I belong. And this term really resonated with me, so thank you for mentioning it, gonna read the whole thing when I can!
I'm in the same boat as you. My mom and dad are Nigerian immigrants that moved to the US, but my dad moved back after getting his PHD because he couldn't find work as a Uni Professor. My mom became a nurse a few years later and paid for the four of us to go to top private schools, but at the cost of no lights at home, lack of food, everything else. Hopefully one day, we become successful and flip our lives around. Being a "privileged poor" feels like an obligation. Understandable, but it's still
What I’m hearing with those styles of parenting is a difference in money. You don’t need to read a book to realize that you have a better chance at succeeding when you’re born into a wealthy family. That’s how society is designed.
The question is how do you deal with the cards you're dealt ? That's where the self help industry started growing. It was meant for people who weren't born in the upper echelons of society.
23 and... Not yet lived alone, been in a relationship, learned to be autonomous...
Haven't yet a job, while i am pursuing my second degree...
From time to time, i feel like i have been left so behind (mainly socially)
Lol
I just had my 22nd birthday a couple months ago and this “fleeting youth” notion has been on my mind a lot. I keep trying to make a list of all the things I want to do in my 20s but the more I think through them, the more stressful it becomes, especially experiencing my 20s in a pandemic
yeah something i have learned and i know this is going to sound cliche but its true those things are not going anywhere.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I feel like this obsession with youth and wonderkins is related to planned obselentence and how we treat the elderly, almost like promoting a culture of constantly throwing away things because they are old
You're not paranoid.
Old refers anyone who is over 30 according to precocious and prodigy despite 30 is young, and barely starting to become sucessful.
i relate to this so hard, especially as an artist. something ive noticed on instagram is that young artists will always put their age in their bio (to kinda hint that 'hey im pretty good for being 15' or etc) but when they turn 20 or older they dont mention their age anymore. and i know this because I did it too! it felt like your work isnt super impressive if youre past your 20 somethings, which is totally untrue. i feel like this tendency to put ages in bios is probably an unconscious thing, and of course there are people that do it without that intention at all, but its interesting to observe
Ha! In east asian cultures this is 100 times worse. 25 is end of youth female in my culture. I was forced to play piano, do ballet, horse riding and various language lessons and my mother would proudly oneup my friends mothers
25 end of female youth in América latina too by 30 man call us leftlover
@@andreacorrales7349 lol nah, some Latino losers still out here bagging single moms
damn that sounds horrible i'm sorry
I never realized how important this topic was until I caught myself thinking that I wasn’t going to make a big change anymore now that I’m 20
This. Just huge bouts of depression, lots of rejection in fields of interest, huge debt, 2 years of lockdown where my industry was all but shut down and having to pick up after with everyone looking at you like but more so me looking at myself despite this and still saying; it’s been 3 years since you graduated, what have you to show for it?
I turn 25 in a few months and I barely sleep I’m so anxious all the time and just worried about life and feeling like a failure. I didn’t think it would look like this after college, lockdowns or no. And even though there are a lot of structural issues at play as well- we live in a society that gaslights us into believing it’s just because we aren’t working hard enough, we aren’t good enough. I was one of those “high achievers,” grade wise throughout school. High marks, Teacher’s favorite. I see people my age hitting other markers I was told or expected to reach by now and I can’t tell you how much I’m struggling.
I understand your struggle. I've been through similar situations. I hope things work out for the both of us.
If it helps I started first working on this conditioning of work success equating life success. Now I'm rethinking my field of work because I want to work for me and not to reach a milestone set for me by my previous teachers, peers, parents, etc.
I hope you get to make the best of your life because you deserve it
I cried so much today and gave myself a migraine because I spent 30 minutes on the phone with my older sister, ranting about this exact same issue. I resonate with your words on a spiritual level.
completely agree,
our culture’s obsession and fear of growing old is harmful and sad.
we shouldn’t mark our successes based on age
I’m 23 & I wish people would understand life is not over at 25. Or 30. I look at my 20s as ground work years for success in my later life.
man this topic had me so depressed. trying so hard to make something great before 18 or 20. now 30
I've noticed that if ur young and you act like an older adult you get treated with respect but if you act your age older adults try to take advantage of you and talk down to you....its really disgusting
the younger you peak, the harder it is to feel achievement because you have so much to live up to
lol I'm 21 and I had this symptom since 14. There was a lot of "mid-life crisis" even though my life and career has barely started. Glad to see that it's being discussed frequently and that most people are going through this (I thought I was the only hot headed one).
As someone who has inattentive ADHD i feel like i failed every single day, and keep reflecting on how i wasted my childhood. Then i see child prodigies and can't help but to be slightly bitter because i wished i could be as competent as them. And i still low-key do. Guess it's different on the other side
In my country there is a recent case of some crazy father paying tons of money to put his 9 year old in one of the best universities to prove how good he is as a teacher... And now the poor girl is failing all classes and the father says he wants to sue the university for 'stealing his daughter by forcing her to go to the exam'... It's obvious how much the girl suffers and that she's being abused, the people's obsession with young geniuses needs to stop
honestly this is a much needed topic to discuss. as someone who is 17 i feel an immense amount of pressure from the society, my family and myself included to be extraordinary. to achieve something out of this world at my age. i am constantly being reminded of time, age and to intensely work hard. meanwhile i have no idea what i want my life to look like or even have something specific i am passionate about to 'work hard at', to stay up all night doing and things like that that the society so desperately pushes on young people. it is so exhausting to the point that i struggle to enjoy little things like watching netflix without feeling like a failure or like i am wasting my life.
I feel the same way
same. whenever i watch anything or try to take a break, i'm always anxious and guilty of it. like, even when i'm watching yt or netflix, something in my head keeps telling me i'm a failure for wasting time, and that i should feel bad about it. but i end up not doing anything and waste time bc of how empty it feels at sometime. i've not had a guilt/anxiety free break in a while.
@@floweringmin8417 honestly i relate to this so so much. please take care of your mental health ❤️
@@amnie you too, keep pushing through 💘
@@dappidy3763 i'm happy that you're now taking breaks for yourself without being guilty of it :) 💞
This one hit a bit too close to home, everyday feels like a ticking time clock and I'm not doing good enough. It's like I'm failing aspects in my life and youtube videos with like "samantha 14 years old get the golden buzzer" or something didn't help. I feel like if I'm not a millionaire by 28 I'm going to fail at life
And I'm not even 21 :/
By the time I was 25 I was a widowed mother of 2 & Navy intel veteran. So imagine how 36 feels after that. Peaked early. Super depressed. Dead people. No therapist with clearance where I can talk about the things bothering me
2 kids and alone How are you Now?
This isn't just america. I felt so good getting published in a small anthology last year, mostly because I can say I debuted at 26....
this is something I’ve never seen talked about that I think about a lot… I consider myself someone that was “doubly disadvantaged”. I love my parents but they never encouraged me to try a sport, join a club or advance in my studies. They didn’t even look at report card 😭 don’t get me wrong they were involved and love me, but everything I’ve achieved, I’ve basically achieved alone, with not too much understanding from them due to them being immigrants. I’ve met a lot of people who are either working/middle class like me but I always felt jealous of them due to their parents involvement despite their “class”.
It definitely definitely does make a huge difference in life to have been a child with very involved parents. In fact I always say that when/if I have kids I would be insanely involved. It isn’t so much for capitalistic reasons but for them to have a talent, a hobby, a way to socialize or learn to work as a team, because I never had that. I wonder how my life would have turned out if my parents noticed “talents” of mine at a younger age and nurtured them.
My mother is the same way, she often blames me for not knowing what exactly I want to do in life. Sometimes I regret not trying new things when I was younger.
@@maleahj308 You literally summed up my life. For a very long time I had no clue what I wanted out of life which was frustrating because my parents never invested in my extracurricular activities or took me abroad ever. I'm only 19 but in the past 2 years I've learned more about myself than ever before and that's only because I've gained some independence away from my parents. Sometimes I feel like a shell of a human being because I'm still discovering what I like and my interests whereas people my age already know that.
@@edithagbaji1567 I’m pretty sure 99% of people have no idea what they want to do when they’re 19 wtf
This hit home, same same
Wow. Summed up my life. 😮:/
As a 14 year old, this video was definitely needed for me. I'm so afraid to grow up these days because 14 seems like the highest age I can be considered a "child" and it feels like I need to accomplish everything I want to do before my birthday. I tell myself that I'm still young and have time but all my peers are so much better than me at.. everything. It feels like literally every single thing I want to achieve as already been done better, and by someone half my age.
i know it probably doesnt help but to adults(over 25) you being younger than 20 makes you a baby and under 25 a child. it feels rough because you are surrounded by people a little younger and a little older but mostly the same age as you. your feeling is a false one that is put on you socially. unfortunately i can't give any advice on how to shrug it off outside of hoping you the best of luck through the next decade
As someone who is Black, an artist, and was in the IB program in high school I can relate to this. I always compared myself to others, and thought I had to be great because I was an example for younger Black students. At one point in high school, I felt so hateful towards myself because I was not in the top 5 or didn't know as much as the other students. I am still dealing with this in college because I feel that I should have gotten my AA with a year due to IB, and my classmates are further than I am. With being an artist, I see so many young artists who are on the news or gained support on social media because of how good they are. I feel like a failure at times. It's like everyone forced us into thinking if we haven't done something great by 25 then we never will; 26-55 extraordinary things done by you won't be recognized because it's expected of you; 56 and so on might gain a bit recognition because you're at an age where people think you are too fragile to do anything.
THE IB program is the epitome of this 😭
@@molinli2148 im starting IB program this year 😭should i be stressed?
Hey, I’m in the IB as well! I’m graduating this year
@@maryammalik7176 No need to stress if you’re good at time managing
@maryam malik no DW you’ll be fine just make sure to finish. your. EE. ASAP.
Thank you for this… I’m 21 years old and my dreams and goals in life seem to just be getting farther away from me. I have to remind myself that I’ve already come a long way, I’m still young, and I am not as privileged as other people I know but that’s okay, it’s just going to take a little longer for me and there’s nothing wrong with that.
What goes into people deciding what there goals should be ?
I have white privileged because I am white.
Have a couple albino friends and we all avoid the sun religiously. It only adds to the attraction or mystic.
Great video!! I’m so glad you called talked about class. I went to a school with a solid mix of middle class and working class and it is not a coincidence that almost all the people that were in AP classes, got great SAT scores, went to nice colleges and were generally seen as accomplished all happened to be middle class and (importantly) had stay at home moms. While the money aspect is important I noticed that kids who also had that help of a stay at home mom did WAY better in academic pursuits and extracurriculars. I always heard those same people complain about their moms finding them more scholarships to write for or when they were young drilling them in flashcards and a lot of other things that were honestly a big privilege. Obviously the money their other parent made allowed their mom to solely focus on “perfecting” their kids but it’s just crazy how little I see people talk about stay at home moms influence on kids academic and eventual career trajectories.
not to mention the aspect of being working class. both of my parents work so I wasn't able to get involved in a lot of events/activities during hs because I had to stay home to take care of my nonverbal sibling. it's also easier to focus on studying when you don't have to worry about your basic needs being met
Literally, other people had parents that helped them write essays and submit applications. My parents are both immigrants so they have no idea how to help me with college stuff.
The stay at home mom advantage is very real. I'm a stay at home mom whose only job was my kids and their outcomes are stellar because of it. You are right.
21 and just started college and yeah even though most people in my classes are 19-20. You still feel the pressure from society that you're just too old.
That you should almost be graduating, not just starting.
And I'm not even that old, can't imagine what it's like for some that's 25+ just starting college.
Ok so this might come across as bitter but having grown up with a parent who is an artist and watching them struggle I have to be bitter when you know how the world of art is. I have seen a 5 year old get praised for creating art that was splashed all over a canvas and they called him a prodigy, but like every 5 year old did that. Also when you I see people call children who make artwork that looks similar to jean michel basquiat and get praised when if fact you look at his art style and it’s not a complex one to do. Like if I saw a 5 yr old creating a hyper realistic drawing I’d be pretty impressed but basquiat, no we kind of scribbled on a page with some paint when we were younger.
@@C12341 exactly and people always clock it up to it’s the message behind the work that counts but there are so many people out there that have such amazing stories like that behind their work whilst also such a high level of skill in their work.
I wish you would’ve talked about the nepotism / privilege aspect of the rise in the being succeful in your youth phenomenon. Countless times we see articles released about young people becoming millionaires or successful business people and they sneak into the article that their parents are largely to thank for their success whether they gave them capital for their briallnt idea or the space to be creative and not have to fend for themselves through work and school and have the time/money to put into passion products. Yes they have the idea they put in work but they started 10 steps ahead.
I always say the fetishizing of youth achievement is a reinforcing a creates achievement dysmorphia for people who aim to mature into success.
Dude this is exactly why i feel like a failure at 24. I barely started playing guitar and want to form a band just for fun but I feel like it’s so hard bc people find it strange I’m barely starting something new.
This!! I want to start learning the guitar and take singing lessons. (I'm 20.) And not that I even want to ever be a professional singer or anything, I just want to learn it for fun, for myself, because I enjoy music and yet I feel like I'm already too late because there are people out there who've been learning it since their childhood and are so much better at it than me!
Not to mention the self-doubts of whether I can even learn to play or sing well. And all of this before I even start. I'm too crippled by self-doubt, the anxiety of wondering if I'm too late (even though i don't want to make a career out of it or use it as a stream of income in any way) and paralysed before I even take any action!!
“Our arbitrary age obsession” this is so interesting!!! I definitely feel so anxious about age and aging sometimes and I’m only in my twenties.
I'm turning 18 and I feel like by the fact I haven't achieved something great I feel like I missed out in a way. I tried to explain to my mum why picking the right career path and doing it in shorter time is so important to my generation and she just brushes it off and tells me we all went through it and I can't seem to express the time crunch I feel for this life changing thing that I am supposed to do and this video sums up that fear that I couldn't pinpoint.
Coming from someone who’s been labeled as a “child prodigy”, I’d like to add to the conversation.
From a young age, I’ve been talented artistically and always told the same thing: “You’re so good for you’re age”, “You’re better than everyone else”, etc. While people mean well when they say this, and while I liked the advice as a young kid, it became less motivating. Even annoying. Fortunately, I don’t let anyone compliment me like this now, but not only does this raise kids to believe they are genuinely better than everyone, but it becomes an unhealthy competition. You end up not enjoying what you were good at in the first place. Believe it or not, “child prodigies” think the same thing when viewing that “the youngest _____ to ever” headline: “I’m not good enough.” No matter how successful they are, there will always be something stopping them from becoming better.
Possibly the most important thing I’d like to bring up though, is that *the system views talented people as their talent and not them individually.* When you take this into consideration, you can see the sheer dehumanization amongst gifted people. They’re only defined by their gifts and were raised to believe it. For me, it was others only knowing me for drawing well. This created scenarios where people who did not know me hated me because of their insecurities...when they didn’t know I was also struggling with the same ones. I’ve heard other artists say-at least jokingly in tone; “you’re art makes me want to k*** myself.” And that hurts. It _hurts._ Not only because I think the same thing for other talented artists, but also because it’s not what I want people saying about my art.
Child prodigies are not prodigies. We are beyond our talents. The goal should be to become _your_ better self, not another self.
Also, I love your voice so much! I’m new to your channel and looked at a few of your videos and you for sure deserve a subscription. :)
Ah the usual "good for you're age", I used to hear that quite a lot until I couldn't. As a amateur digital artist I quite relate to what you said there, I started a year ago and I hated how I wasn't immediately good at it because I would go online and see other's works and then feel something in me just break.
The same old voice of my 10th grade class teacher in my head going "Why aren't you good at this? You were so smart back in elementary. If only you applied yourself and practice more you, I am sure you would be good again."
And it used to tear me down, because I _did._ I did everything, tried so hard and got so far but then when the results came, I was among the top 10 and yet it didn't felt good. The same with art, it wouldn't be good enough to get to the level of the artists I admire, it wouldn't feel as satisfactory because that bar itself is shifted so high and I have adapted the beliefs of my parents and teachers so it won't ever be good enough.
Also a gifted student in art myself and I can soooo relate to this. The problem with art is that there is ALWAYS going to be someone who does what you want to do with your art better than you. This in itself is what pushes artists forward and and allows them to improve and create more beauty, but also means that no matter what awards you win or praise you get, you'll never feel completely satisfied with your art or art style. This is because art is about translating your feelings or ideas directly onto paper with your hands and that can simply never be done perfectly. Non-artists can't really understand this. I'd say that for that reason art is one of the worst things to be a 'young prodigy' at, other than maybe something like modelling that's based on your appearance. It also means you're pressured to do art that others will praise, can win awards or will make you money. Which ends up taking away all the joy of doing the art, lots of young people get burnt out from that and then feel lost because they don't know what to do with themselves.
idk that's just my thoughts 😅
No wonder some famous people like to move countries and go to a place no one knows them.
😢
Being an overachiever as a kid can be a dangerous thing if their ego and view of self are not checked in a place of being humble. Look at Bakugo from My Hero Academia? He is a child prodigy but it got to his head and how he viewed others especially Izuku who he saw as lesser. Also, you are likely to plateau as a overachiever as a child, because you fall into the path of thinking you are too good for your own boots.
That last line makes a lot of sense. It reminds me of the hare and turtle story.
You are brilliant and the concerted cultivation parenting style is also covered in Outliers. 36 year old here! Ignore the articles and lists. Go at your own pace. Rushing to be a millionaire by 25, married by 30, etc will have you making decisions and doing things that don’t serve you.
I feel like this affects creative people too moreso than those going into stem fields. As a 21 year old going to an arts school, I have had many crises about if I’m spending my time wisely, if I’ve chosen the right major, and why I didn’t do more in high school to prep me for the creative world. I am trying to be more aware of how this has been affecting my self worth but at the same time I genuinely do want to be young and successful and it feels like a vicious cycle to get out of, especially since society rewards it
Omg sameee
i was an academically "gifted" kid, and i am so grateful that my parents never pushed me too hard because of it. they encouraged me to develop my skills, but it was never a matter of becoming a prodigy at some arbitrary age, it was about my genuine love of maths and science.
I'm 22 and I realised long ago I enjoy being lazy. Happy for the young geniuses but I don't want to work that hard. As long as I'm doing something fulfilling and enjoying my hobbies I'm good. Once I had a nap on the beach on a warm day and it was better than graduating
The part about parents raising their children differently is so true!! I lived in a wealthy area of Texas for 3 years during elementary school, and some parents would go as far as making their children retake kindergarten even if they passed, I am not sure what the specific benefits of doing this was, but I remember that they had an obsession with their kids growing up to be successful very early on. The competitiveness was crazy and when I moved to the midwest, I was so far ahead in academics that I was put into the gifted program almost immediately.
The point about middle class families cultivating a sense of entitlement is interesting to me.
I grew up working class but my mum did this as well. She never cared about my grades, she always said “you’re smart, you can do it” and left it at that. She didn’t mind when I studied Italian for fun while failing maths. When I chose to only take creative classes in high school she said she trusted my judgement and even fought the headteacher when they said that they don’t allow it. (Successfully!)
She taught me to question authority and just fallow my passions even if adults told me that it couldn’t be done.
I can’t imagine how much worse my life would be if I was pressured to follow the rules.
Her only rule concerning school was if they called her I was in trouble because she found it annoying.😂
That's beautiful ♡
Buona fortuna con l'italiano!
Umm no hate to you but I think middle class means not so rich but able to afford basic needs so I think you grew up in a middle class fam too
agreed! As someone who's almost 18, I feel like my time is running up, especially since I want to make music. I see all these young, extremely successful musicians in the media and it makes me feel as if I'm too late to begin, even if it's not true.
I see a lot of people from the ages of 20-25 (born in 1996-2001) calling themselves “old” and “wasted their time”. It’s crazy because they are very young. They have A LOT to live and experience. Everyone’s life journey is different. Focus only on your life and stop comparing it to others.
The vast majority of the people on those lists are privileged rich kids. Thanks for making this video. It's an important topic. This obsession with youth, achievement, and youth achievement, in particular, is very unhealthy and evidence of a sick hyperindividualistic materialist culture.
So often I've seen comments saying "Billie Eilish did this at 16 and I'm just laying in bed " and I'm thinking you're 16! And you already think you're so behind in life! Imagine being in your late twenties just now trying to get your life together.
Such an important topic. Prodigy fetishism is just toxic: it makes it seem like a) these young people are born with a gift and didn't actually work their butts off, b) it reduces accomplishments to how quickly you achieved something instead of how long lasting that achievement truly is and c) it demotivates everyone that starts "late", as if it were normal to achieve these extraordinary things at such a young age. Also, it's often overlooked what role the parents of these child prodigies play and how obsessively they are pushing these kids to an unhealthy degree, just so they can live through their child's life. The saddest thing is that despite all the wealth and fame, child protegies are often unhappy with their lives, since they were basically robbed of their childhood, which is a crucial stage of a child's emotional development.
I remember watching an interview of Emma Watson about how excited she was to enter in her 30s and it kinda motivated me because she managed to achieve her personal goals around that age (marriage, children, house, career stability etc) and if you ask many 30 year old people they will tell you the same, the 20s are just the basis, loved this video ✨
I look at it like, if you're not where you want to be by 30, that just means the best years of life are ahead of you, not behind.
I’m 27 and for basically all of my 20s I lived under the idea that I wasn’t good enough because, I wasn’t famous, rich, or owned a business. I’ve just recently began to accept that I need to just pursue my goals and dreams and not worry so much about my age. It’s like, if you’re not rich or powerful or successful by 20, you’re a failure when honestly, people that young don’t really have things figured out enough to even know if that’s what they want. Getting older is honestly kinda nice, cuz I don’t really care what society has to tell me and now I’m just living and doing what makes me happy.
I definitely agree to the statement that middle class kids are raised to challenge authority. I see it in the world around me and whenever I go to doctor's appointments, I often ask questions which always shocks the doctor. Doctors are not used to kids speaking up for themselves but rather, the working class parents taking charge of the situations and speaking for the child.
I literally started my quarter life crisis at age 18 and it was at it's worst during 2020 when *that* started. I'm doing better now that I've better planned the way I approach work and school but it really sucked nearly having panic attacks several times because of this topic.
The age for the existential crisis just keeps getting younger and younger.
not even kidding. I am 14 years old, and sometimes I feel like a failure for not being famous yet ⁉️ "Because Billie Eilish got famous at 14" says my brain.
i needed to hear this. i constantly keep seeing young singers achieving everything they want and i'm just at home like a piece of shit trying to cope with life. seriously, i see so many 17 y/os achieving so much praise for putting out a few songs. i'm 17, and although i'm happy for them, it eats me inside.
it's ironic that you mention Matilda. The actress stopped acting for decades and has been vocal about why. She'd say something like "imagine as a child you enjoy finger painting, but then everyone starts to say they love your finger paintings and that your finger paintings meant so much to them, asking if you'll ever finger paint again, asking why not, but to you they are just something simple you did for the fun of it." like it's hard to be completely defined for something you did as a child, as you grow up you stop being interested in it, but worry you can't just stop because of all the praise you get for it.
Thank you for making this video!
I think that social media hasn’t helped at all. With Tik Tok you if you are 22 and up you’re considered old. Also, I believe if you are a fem presenting person it’s worse. I feel like the date of “expiration” is at 25 now. So much of our culture revolves around young conventionally desirable fems. I think back to a the time Danny Burgoli started an only fans the moment she was 18 and made a million dollars the first day. The majority of men are so obsessed with this “barely legal” nonsense.
not only are youths being pressured to be a great prodigy, but also influenced by mainstream media to feel like they're wasting their youth being boring if they're not also having fun partying everyday. I used to feel the stress too but now I just let go because I'm too old to do anything about it anyway lol
i’m 22 and this is giving me anxiety omg
Youth is so obsessed over by people that they forget to live life
this is so crazy.. im only 14!! and ive already started getting anxiety about how im growing too fast while not really doing anything with my life and im constantly comparing myself to people who are younger than me and are far more talented.
Oh times flies ! I remember being 14 as if it was yesterday and I am almost 20 now. Enjoy your youth as you can 😬
This video comes at the perfect time as I have been dreading turning 27 on Monday... I have not stopped for a second to even consider why I have been dreading it. Really needed this!!
This concept isn't exclusive to just children as well. Everything is super competitive these days and expectations have risen dramatically as well. Not to mention how much work and school has changed with technology and the increased # of qualified individuals. Sometimes, I feel like being "good enough" isn't exactly satisfactory compared to what we expect, especially the expectations we put on ourselves.
Mankind's always been at war. Competition in civilized societies is just a different expression of the same.