This version of humanity must have evolved under very fascinating circumstances and Dave must be their version of our crazy Dave meme, just actually alive. The stories author, whether AI or human, has outdone themselves. Pure comedy gold and utterly shredded suspension of disbelief, with no apparent consistency errors or plotholes at all. The personalities of the software and even the hardware are adorable as well. Realistic reactions by the aliens regarding what the heck was going on and the complaints filed by the very laws of the cosmos...just pure gold! That everything is about as surreal and senseless as Alice in Wonderland/Underland crossed with Lovecraft's Azathoth and mixed with M.C.Esher, then tossed into a Quantum Uncertainty Field, is just the perfect setting for this. XD
There are very few of these stories that make me laugh, but this one had me chortling, sniggering and laughing throughout, thank goodness I work from home so no one can hear me
When humans and unbeatable security are put into the same sentence, those who devised the security protocols are in for one heck of a shock. Known biology doesn't always mean known biology, when not every single species has been considered or discovered. When unknown humans meet aliens the results of anything the humans do contrary to the alien's beliefs are always humorous. Another wonderful and funny story, worth the time it takes to listen to it.
Krill-vaxx reminds me of a particular Eldritch Garfield with multiple eyes. 'You can't hide from me John; I am all-seeing. Wait... what's what in your belly?' (Later) 'Good thing you came in; you've got appendicitis, but we can treat it without surgery.' 'Thanks Garfield; youre always watching out for me.'
"Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coffee." Love the nod to Douglas Adams! If it had been dispensed from a sentient AI beverage machine, that would have been perfect!
This was a uniquely humorous take on humanities introduction to obscure technologies about aliens. Seriously suspending reality by placing humanity as DeathWorlders. This Makes for an upbeat challenge with a positive ending. Positive isn't something many of us get to experience among today's entertainment profiles. Typical of today's entertainment: -Humans are responsible for the death of an Ecosystem, -your main character wasn't beloved then destroyed by the evil alien or betrayal, -emasculated males weren't demeaned then saved by children or fierce women. Now the powerful aliens were humbled after exaggerated confidence in their superiority. That's always cathartic to witness even in the framework of fantasy. I'd rather suppose that the story continues and the humans win is based on hidden technology, holographic deception or robotic impersonation. Since I've not read any of the DeathWorlder origin stories, I can assume any continuing saga without it being ruined by Disney. Thanks you for the story, I enjoyed it very much.
you know there is a movie called DAVE the plot of which revolves around a run of the Mill Dave who just happens to have the same bodily profile as POTUS is hired as a replacement after the latter suffers a mid level severity stroke. funny movie if your into murky black-ish humor
Although they never heard of humans, they know what duct tape is. I guess we should expect to find that stuff wherever we go. This story seems like it could be made into an animated series like Futurama. I'd like to see that. LMAO
That was f****** hysterical!! I figure if Piers Anthony and Douglas Adams Ever co-wrote a story it would sound a lot like this. To the author? I tip my hat with a hearty thank you.
Oh my, another magical, all-powerful human that's more intelligent, clever & stronger than every other sentient being in the galaxy. Utterly ridiculous, Dave should have a cape like Superman since he comes from the most dangerous planet. Duct tape?!? Yeah, duct tape is a good seal in space.
SCP foundation has been stretched thin ever since the galactic age, still hidden, but the number of anomalies discovered has been exponential. They must be backed up. They still need to contain all the Joe-Bobs before they can get to Dave. Lots of middle and southern Americans have been discovered to be anomalies you see, never getting smarter, but always somehow happy in the chaos they cause.
Ok, one hfy, two, have you ever heard of humor? Three, the entire premise has nothing to do with humans being stronger, smarter, etc, etc. It's that humans just naturally warp reality in their vicinity. Basically, he's not strong enough to withstand crushing gravity, just him being present warped reality so the gravity simply wasn't that much. He can't survive near zero Kelvin temperatures, just his being there warped the reality so it wasn't that cold. And so on.
3:20 “It will be good to add another species to our list of failures. The system’s perfect record remains unbroken after all.” Every Human in Existence: “Hold my beer”🍺
Who sent out the troupes that must be used list? Same source as the High School writing assignment? Note to author(s) crystals break in tension. You might not want crystal based life forms to stretch.
If, before listening to this video, you prepare yourself with a suspension of disbelief in all reality you have learned and experienced in life, ignoring character names, and closing your eyes to avoid all counter images, replacing the main character in your mind with Bugs Bunny and all the rest with Marvin the Martian, this would make for a really great Looney Tunes cartoon. Outside of that, at best, it's some scribblings by Douglas Adams while over-dosing on heroin due to suicidal tendencies. Of course that description requires it's own suspension of disbelief. Are there any true authors left? Or have all become self-loathing hacks chasing views and likes while depending solely on A.I. with it's inability to imagine to write the stories?
not science fiction. futuristic fantasy. entertaining story. indestructible creature that defies rules. magical. nothing wrong with magical. it tried to point it as technology. that was bad. there is a market for it. glad you had fun writing it.
How can he talk in a room that has all the air removed? 😂 This guy is obviously either some kind of super alien disguised as a human, or he's a hacker that got in & recalibrated everything to not work but say it's working. Antimatter has no effect on him?🤣
Well, talking in there is either a lie about the removed air or Dave switched to communication via vibrating the cosmic fabric of reality via gravitic waves, like singularities do, just way faster than the usually measured in lightyears cosmic dance and celestial song. Considering everything else Dave did in this setting as well as the equipment/sensors indicated to be present for the scientists to use, I am inclined to go with the latter. Dave is "just a regular human", but clearly from a very different version of Earth. Though, considering the antimatter, talking like a singularity makes that suddenly seem reasonable. Wait...is that why Tuesday was trying to run? It is supposed to be "regular", after all. And that entire mess is anything but. Man, this story is simultaneously the most ludicrous bs ever and actually makes sense in context. For this reason, I hereby declare this story as "Shrödinger's Story". 😆🥠🧭🌋☢☣🤣
To sum up this story think of Baby Huey finding a can of spinach, sticking a pipe in his mouth and thereafter stumble bumbling through an elaborate series of high tech traps arranged in an elaborate maze of horror unperturbed with complete impunity. Possibly the silliest and pointless load of crap I have endured in the last three months of Sundays. So boring that I am amazed at my having endured every last painful millisecond of this stupidly droll horsehocky. Bronx cheers all!
I like that duct tape is universally recognized,
Ancient Chinese proverb says: If it should move and doesn’t, use wd40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use duct tape.
"Terrifyingly orange triangles"
What a way to describe doritos
well american Doritos are horrible
This version of humanity must have evolved under very fascinating circumstances and Dave must be their version of our crazy Dave meme, just actually alive. The stories author, whether AI or human, has outdone themselves. Pure comedy gold and utterly shredded suspension of disbelief, with no apparent consistency errors or plotholes at all. The personalities of the software and even the hardware are adorable as well. Realistic reactions by the aliens regarding what the heck was going on and the complaints filed by the very laws of the cosmos...just pure gold! That everything is about as surreal and senseless as Alice in Wonderland/Underland crossed with Lovecraft's Azathoth and mixed with M.C.Esher, then tossed into a Quantum Uncertainty Field, is just the perfect setting for this. XD
This one was actually funny. Great job to the writers.
I think Dave is just immortal after having that science drink 🍸.
"Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coffee."
Thanks for the Douglas Adams reference! Don't panic. 👍
Dave's weekend cruiser, Held together with duct tape. These get pretty funny.
There are very few of these stories that make me laugh, but this one had me chortling, sniggering and laughing throughout, thank goodness I work from home so no one can hear me
TUESDAY!
Why did it have to be Tuesday?
Why couldn’t it have been Monday?
Nobody misses a Monday.
Tuesday is only extended Monday..: it’s all good!
Thank you for posting, I enjoyed this story. It's something Terry Pratchett and/or Douglas Adams would have written.
Not quite entirely unlike coffee. Trust the science. I want one of those coffee cups!
When humans and unbeatable security are put into the same sentence, those who devised the security protocols are in for one heck of a shock. Known biology doesn't always mean known biology, when not every single species has been considered or discovered. When unknown humans meet aliens the results of anything the humans do contrary to the alien's beliefs are always humorous. Another wonderful and funny story, worth the time it takes to listen to it.
If Aliens disrupt our Sun and destroy the Earth I'm gonna sue 😂 after seeing this.
I was hoping to see Dave hand the scientists his drink and say "hold my beer" before entering the funhouse.
Krill-vaxx reminds me of a particular Eldritch Garfield with multiple eyes.
'You can't hide from me John; I am all-seeing. Wait... what's what in your belly?'
(Later)
'Good thing you came in; you've got appendicitis, but we can treat it without surgery.'
'Thanks Garfield; youre always watching out for me.'
Absolutely perfect last line. But I want to meet this Universal Constance of which the subtitles, if not the story itself, speak.
"Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coffee." Love the nod to Douglas Adams! If it had been dispensed from a sentient AI beverage machine, that would have been perfect!
I definitely want one of those Coffe Mugs. That sounds convenient 😂
Yes! Sell them. I'll check back.
This was a uniquely humorous take on humanities introduction to obscure technologies about aliens.
Seriously suspending reality by placing humanity as DeathWorlders. This Makes for an upbeat challenge with a positive ending. Positive isn't something many of us get to experience among today's entertainment profiles.
Typical of today's entertainment: -Humans are responsible for the death of an Ecosystem,
-your main character wasn't beloved then destroyed by the evil alien or betrayal,
-emasculated males weren't demeaned then saved by children or fierce women.
Now the powerful aliens were humbled after exaggerated confidence in their superiority. That's always cathartic to witness even in the framework of fantasy.
I'd rather suppose that the story continues and the humans win is based on hidden technology, holographic deception or robotic impersonation.
Since I've not read any of the DeathWorlder origin stories, I can assume any continuing saga without it being ruined by Disney.
Thanks you for the story, I enjoyed it very much.
My wife had to come check on me. I had my ear buds in and I’m laughing hard. Thought I was having a psychotic break… this one was pretty good!!!
Such a Douglas Adams feel! Loved it!!
This must be Super Dave Osborne!
lol 😂way to go Dave! Loved the story and the narration, thanks for the laughs ❤
And they said I had to go to college to have a chance at life, hog wash! Dave for president !!!!
you know there is a movie called DAVE the plot of which revolves around a run of the Mill Dave who just happens to have the same bodily profile as POTUS is hired as a replacement after the latter suffers a mid level severity stroke.
funny movie if your into murky black-ish humor
@ I do
That was really funny. Loved it. Well done.
These must be Humans are Saints, from New Earth! description crushing gravity wow those are Saints,
Here on Deathworld, even a walk in a park can be a struggle for survival
11:09 word typo about crushing my banana ... is that slang.for a body part? lol
Although they never heard of humans, they know what duct tape is. I guess we should expect to find that stuff wherever we go. This story seems like it could be made into an animated series like Futurama. I'd like to see that. LMAO
You can practically see “Murphy” dancing with glee
A guy who's entire philosophy of life is "Hold my beer"
I like how just about all of those things sound like viable valid threats to life.
That was f****** hysterical!!
I figure if Piers Anthony and Douglas Adams Ever co-wrote a story it would sound a lot like this.
To the author? I tip my hat with a hearty thank you.
This was a good story, hilarious!!
Is Superman a cargo handler in space now?
Lobo would definitely enjoy that course.
It appears one of them met his Aunt's cats and thought better of this!
Yes i want that coffee mug! All 3 of me. I really liked this story, good job.
Loved your narrative, captivating voice
very original story I loved it
Nicely done. Thanks.
😂🤣😂🤣🤣😄😄😄 I love these stories. Just tooooooooooooo funny!!!!
Dude awesome. where black hole containment is preferred because its less stressful......
Oh my, another magical, all-powerful human that's more intelligent, clever & stronger than every other sentient being in the galaxy. Utterly ridiculous, Dave should have a cape like Superman since he comes from the most dangerous planet. Duct tape?!? Yeah, duct tape is a good seal in space.
I know youre being sarcastic but this makes some good points.
You should try learning about humour
SCP foundation has been stretched thin ever since the galactic age, still hidden, but the number of anomalies discovered has been exponential. They must be backed up. They still need to contain all the Joe-Bobs before they can get to Dave. Lots of middle and southern Americans have been discovered to be anomalies you see, never getting smarter, but always somehow happy in the chaos they cause.
Get; a; life!
Ok, one hfy, two, have you ever heard of humor? Three, the entire premise has nothing to do with humans being stronger, smarter, etc, etc. It's that humans just naturally warp reality in their vicinity. Basically, he's not strong enough to withstand crushing gravity, just him being present warped reality so the gravity simply wasn't that much. He can't survive near zero Kelvin temperatures, just his being there warped the reality so it wasn't that cold. And so on.
I really enjoyed this story. Dave is a cocky SOB. :P
3:20 “It will be good to add another species to our list of failures. The system’s perfect record remains unbroken after all.”
Every Human in Existence: “Hold my beer”🍺
that was very good reminds me of Douglas Adams.
Heh, THAT was extremely entertaining.
Funny and Entertaining
And the human said "hold my beer"
Didn't realize Dave was Outback edge Aussie.
I laughed through this whole thing. Thank you for a great story.
Nice one, reminds me of Douglas Adams work,
Fun. It reminded me of Douglas Adams.
26:02 did they just mention Scranton reality anchors? Damn SCP universe be leaking over
24:00 had me crying laughing so hard🤣
Dave must be the luckiest man in the universe.😂
that was good.
1 room with flame throwers... problem solved.
After being subjected to all that fire, I called myself a rolling air raid vehicle. Those burn scars are no joke!
I love this story. I have a fresh mug of coffee!😂😂🤣😅😆
The display just showing a reading of “no” my sides
Love this, it's funny.
That was funny thank you
Dave is like the dodo from Looney Toons
This sounds… strangely similar to Australia. (Those time slips and min min lights out in the Outback are a bit disconcerting.)
Another funny one😂😂
It was fun to read
Very nice story.
"Instant bug juice" just add tequila. Lol
I had a good laugh at this one.
It's CHEWSDAY, innit?
Definitely sitama takong a break from hero work
Now that was funny.
*sings* "Look at the bright side of life." 😋 If you don't know this song, Watch, "The Life of Bryan."
human isnt the name of our species, its the name for those part of humanity. stating we are born human makes ppl forget to be human
Sounds like an R & R when I left VIETNAM THE FIRST TIME!
Bruh, the fact that sometimes, the AI voice just goes AH- for like, a microsecond is funnier than the story
as if the reader AI itself fails to comprehend human attributes and tendencies to bend the seemingly unbendable universal laws
Who sent out the troupes that must be used list? Same source as the High School writing assignment?
Note to author(s) crystals break in tension. You might not want crystal based life forms to stretch.
Reminds me of Douglas Adams.
Looked like more than 4 eyes to me
Dave is either Australian or Alaskan.
stress eating a cake. that just a after noon for mme.
Its a definite maybe!
Such an enjoyable story, AI storytelling is truly amazing. Thank you robot overlords!!!
Why does the scientist with 4 eyes have 7 in the photo that has his name?
I was going to say that, but you beat me to it.
Have a virtual cookie.
I want that mug!
It's obvious he was from Florida. It's Florida man.
What gift shop isn't over priced at times you accept it as it supports the attraction its attached to
It is a shame Peter Jones, the narrator of Hitchhiker Guide, is long dead. He would have been great for this. Or look at Stephen Fry
Got any more stories about Dave?
I'll go there for a holiday please. LOL
Dave's surname isn't Lister per-chance?
30:00
OH NO!!!!
NOT "PASSIERSCHEIN A38" (PERMIT A38)
W Dave.
If, before listening to this video, you prepare yourself with a suspension of disbelief in all reality you have learned and experienced in life, ignoring character names, and closing your eyes to avoid all counter images, replacing the main character in your mind with Bugs Bunny and all the rest with Marvin the Martian, this would make for a really great Looney Tunes cartoon. Outside of that, at best, it's some scribblings by Douglas Adams while over-dosing on heroin due to suicidal tendencies. Of course that description requires it's own suspension of disbelief.
Are there any true authors left? Or have all become self-loathing hacks chasing views and likes while depending solely on A.I. with it's inability to imagine to write the stories?
Congratulations. No blah blah blah, and it was entertaining...
not science fiction. futuristic fantasy. entertaining story. indestructible creature that defies rules. magical. nothing wrong with magical. it tried to point it as technology. that was bad. there is a market for it. glad you had fun writing it.
How can he talk in a room that has all the air removed? 😂
This guy is obviously either some kind of super alien disguised as a human, or he's a hacker that got in & recalibrated everything to not work but say it's working. Antimatter has no effect on him?🤣
Well, talking in there is either a lie about the removed air or Dave switched to communication via vibrating the cosmic fabric of reality via gravitic waves, like singularities do, just way faster than the usually measured in lightyears cosmic dance and celestial song. Considering everything else Dave did in this setting as well as the equipment/sensors indicated to be present for the scientists to use, I am inclined to go with the latter. Dave is "just a regular human", but clearly from a very different version of Earth.
Though, considering the antimatter, talking like a singularity makes that suddenly seem reasonable.
Wait...is that why Tuesday was trying to run? It is supposed to be "regular", after all. And that entire mess is anything but. Man, this story is simultaneously the most ludicrous bs ever and actually makes sense in context. For this reason, I hereby declare this story as "Shrödinger's Story". 😆🥠🧭🌋☢☣🤣
🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
I usually love stories like this but then you go a drop a line about cotton shrugging off lasers...that really ruins it for me
To sum up this story think of Baby Huey finding a can of spinach, sticking a pipe in his mouth and thereafter stumble bumbling through an elaborate series of high tech traps arranged in an elaborate maze of horror unperturbed with complete impunity. Possibly the silliest and pointless load of crap I have endured in the last three months of Sundays. So boring that I am amazed at my having endured every last painful millisecond of this stupidly droll horsehocky. Bronx cheers all!