Married and alone feels like an understatement. 23 years of a wife who disregards everything I say, forbid me access to money even from my business (she does the books) made me dispose of my car, my life insurance policy, and my investments. She gave me a car she hated from her grandma (replacing my '83 Grand Prix w/ T-tops) because she didn't like my car. She told me everything I like is stupid. She said she did all of this because she can't trust me ( this started the 2nd month of marriage). I couldn't leave as I had absolutely no money (she even took my tips).
I'm sorry to hear that you are in so much pain from this. It sounds incredibly challenging and isolating to feel unheard and so restricted in your marriage. Your feelings of loneliness and frustration are valid, and it's important to acknowledge the impact that this has on your well-being. There might be intimacy anorexia here, but this sounds more complicated than simply that. It's not uncommon for relationships to face difficulties, and feeling trapped without financial independence can amplify these struggles. Remember, you deserve respect and autonomy in your life. Seeking support from a counselor or a trusted advisor could provide a safe space to explore your options and regain a sense of control over your circumstances. You can get with someone local or call us at 719-278-3708 to get connected with one of our therapists for a phone or virtual appointment. Having someone to confide in as you address these issues can help you take steps that lead to a healthier path forward. You don't have to go through this journey alone.
My wife is emotionally cold. We haven't had sex in more than 15 years. She's always got projects to do for her teaching job. When there's no school, she still works on school stuff at home or at the school. There is no warmth. She gets angry when I tell her we’re in a roommate relationship. She tells me she loves me but I don't think she knows the meaning of the word. We've been living separate lives for 20 years.
I'm sorry that you've had to endure this in your marriage for so long. Your pain from this is real. If you haven't already, check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this is relevant to your current situation. You can also check out the Sexless & Married video download, which covers common reasons why a marriage may be going through this, and the Married & Alone ebook, which would validate your pain in this loneliness. www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/ For support, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 and my staff can get you scheduled with one of our counselors to walk with you in this, as well as join our men's married & alone Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA
My husband told me wer only 47 at that time he told me many times that we should not have sex anymore coz wer old it's shameful to have sex according to my husband I'm 53 now
26 years married empty nesters for last 1 to 2 yrs and we are no closer than when the kids were home last 8 to 10 yrs I have tried working working in my marriage but it takes 2
Your desire for connection and intimacy is normal and it can be frustrating when the relationship lacks it. If you haven't already, check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia applies to your situation. You can also check out the UA-cam video "Dead Bedroom after Kids" that might provide some insight based on your situation: ua-cam.com/video/mVx-ihy_U34/v-deo.html If you need support or help in dealing with this, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to make an appointment with a counselor who specializes in this area. Additionally, I have a book called Married & Alone which provides validation and guidance and the "Sexless & Married" video download which covers several of the top reasons for sexlessness in marriage: www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/
My husband has been diagnosed as SA PA IA by a Weiss trained therapist. H has had a physical affair for 7.5 years which started 17 days after our wedding day, his back door. Of all the deception around his secret life and various addictions, it’s the significance of this long term affair running in parallel to our marriage, that I just can’t understand. The addictions don’t explain it to me, he kept going back to her, and then it was the last two years of being only an emotional connection, he didn’t see her but he still needed her emotional support. Married 9.5 years now, DDay was this February. I am experiencing PTSD, and am working with a Weiss trained therapist. It’s making me sick. I don’t know why I haven’t left him, it’s unbelievably hard to explain what I haven’t. Pain for love is what keeps me believing he can recover but am I being a fool in this instance? How much more neglect, abuse, and pain will I withstand, I don’t know what to do anymore. I am doubting myself for staying. Have considered an intensive, but I don’t know if he can recover. We are 62 and 62.
Jillian, praying you have a way out. I'm 62 also and my marriage is different. Fnl is or was a abuser. This sexual abuse is so corrupt in many different ways. 🙏
You deserve so much better. Please file for a divorce. Life is way too precious to let someone devalue you in such ways. Ask yourself “Would I want to die beside this person?” ❤❤❤❤
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My husband and I have been together for 13+ years but only married for a little over 4. I just found out last week that he had been sexting and actually met up for sex with another woman and I find myself still here fighting for our marriage too. You’re not alone in this unfortunately it seems to be more common than I knew too. I pray you will find peace and healing whatever your circumstances come to but don’t feel weak or pathetic for trying to fix things. You’re incredibly strong and brave to standing by the vows you made on your wedding day and trying to make things right. At the end of the day regardless of what comes of it all you’ll know you did your very best and I pray God heals your marriage and keeps you and your husband together. As for the other woman I think she needs to repent of her wrong doing and seek help for herself bc going after another woman’s man is deeply wrong and she needs to pull away from the situation. Stay strong and look to the Lord. He can heal all wounds ❤️
Yes, Doug your right. When they checked out emotionally and spiritually. Your alone. I called to get the information. And the sexual abuse of my family. We were all sex trafficed. Im passed that now. I pray this helps I'm tried getting help and I'm the bad one. Make me laugh . I keep my eyes 👀 on Jesus. He the way❤👑
Your pain from this withholding is valid. If you need to talk with a counselor/coach, we can schedule you with one at 719-278-3708. We also have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join as well. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/ facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
We have phone counseling available as well as support groups for over the phone and on Facebook. You can call our office at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org for more information and we would be happy to answer any of your questions or get you scheduled with someone trained by me.
Omg....NAIL ON THE HEAD!!! The 1st 2 years together he was so affectionate physically, verbally...had to be next to me when watching a tv program, etc... now... he wants nothing to do with me. The most I'll get is an affectionate text and it ends there. At home...he avoids me altogether & will try every excuse on planet Earth to get out of spending ANY time with me. I'm nothing more than a roomie to him. I don't know why he even stays in the relationship if he's no longer interested in me anymore. He even will make excuses to go sleep on the couch. I've seen his phone messages before... he was pouring his problems out to ANOTHER WOMAN & they were flirting!!!!!!
I’m with my bf of 2 yrs. (I’m in menopause ) He’s constantly on his phone every night after work. He makes himself stay “busy”. We used to cuddle on the couch… that’s gone; he’s possibly watching porn (caught him buttoning up his jeans when I awoke from a nap… he was acting funny and turning his body away from me for a while. ) I do have low back issues (spinal stenosis and AS)
Married and alone feels like an understatement. 23 years of a wife who disregards everything I say, forbid me access to money even from my business (she does the books) made me dispose of my car, my life insurance policy, and my investments. She gave me a car she hated from her grandma (replacing my '83 Grand Prix w/ T-tops) because she didn't like my car. She told me everything I like is stupid. She said she did all of this because she can't trust me ( this started the 2nd month of marriage).
I couldn't leave as I had absolutely no money (she even took my tips).
I'm sorry to hear that you are in so much pain from this. It sounds incredibly challenging and isolating to feel unheard and so restricted in your marriage. Your feelings of loneliness and frustration are valid, and it's important to acknowledge the impact that this has on your well-being. There might be intimacy anorexia here, but this sounds more complicated than simply that.
It's not uncommon for relationships to face difficulties, and feeling trapped without financial independence can amplify these struggles. Remember, you deserve respect and autonomy in your life. Seeking support from a counselor or a trusted advisor could provide a safe space to explore your options and regain a sense of control over your circumstances. You can get with someone local or call us at 719-278-3708 to get connected with one of our therapists for a phone or virtual appointment. Having someone to confide in as you address these issues can help you take steps that lead to a healthier path forward. You don't have to go through this journey alone.
Find a good lawyer and walk away from that living hell. Don’t be a simp king.
My wife is emotionally cold. We haven't had sex in more than 15 years. She's always got projects to do for her teaching job. When there's no school, she still works on school stuff at home or at the school. There is no warmth. She gets angry when I tell her we’re in a roommate relationship. She tells me she loves me but I don't think she knows the meaning of the word. We've been living separate lives for 20 years.
I'm sorry that you've had to endure this in your marriage for so long. Your pain from this is real. If you haven't already, check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this is relevant to your current situation.
You can also check out the Sexless & Married video download, which covers common reasons why a marriage may be going through this, and the Married & Alone ebook, which would validate your pain in this loneliness.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
For support, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 and my staff can get you scheduled with one of our counselors to walk with you in this, as well as join our men's married & alone Facebook group:
facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA
In the exact same position. I feel you. Oh, and yes mine is a teacher too and does the exact same things!
Find a good lawyer in a different town and walk away from that living hell.
Nope, I’m done, just done
Thank you for sharing im a little bit relieve but not totally healed
I'm married but sexless wer not intimate
My husband told me wer only 47 at that time he told me many times that we should not have sex anymore coz wer old it's shameful to have sex according to my husband I'm 53 now
26 years married empty nesters for last 1 to 2 yrs and we are no closer than when the kids were home last 8 to 10 yrs I have tried working working in my marriage but it takes 2
As a husband who really wants connection it’s tough to do a lot of activities away from home alone
Your desire for connection and intimacy is normal and it can be frustrating when the relationship lacks it. If you haven't already, check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if Intimacy Anorexia applies to your situation. You can also check out the UA-cam video "Dead Bedroom after Kids" that might provide some insight based on your situation: ua-cam.com/video/mVx-ihy_U34/v-deo.html
If you need support or help in dealing with this, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to make an appointment with a counselor who specializes in this area.
Additionally, I have a book called Married & Alone which provides validation and guidance and the "Sexless & Married" video download which covers several of the top reasons for sexlessness in marriage:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-video-download/
My husband has been diagnosed as SA PA IA by a Weiss trained therapist. H has had a physical affair for 7.5 years which started 17 days after our wedding day, his back door. Of all the deception around his secret life and various addictions, it’s the significance of this long term affair running in parallel to our marriage, that I just can’t understand. The addictions don’t explain it to me, he kept going back to her, and then it was the last two years of being only an emotional connection, he didn’t see her but he still needed her emotional support. Married 9.5 years now, DDay was this February. I am experiencing PTSD, and am working with a Weiss trained therapist. It’s making me sick. I don’t know why I haven’t left him, it’s unbelievably hard to explain what I haven’t. Pain for love is what keeps me believing he can recover but am I being a fool in this instance? How much more neglect, abuse, and pain will I withstand, I don’t know what to do anymore. I am doubting myself for staying. Have considered an intensive, but I don’t know if he can recover. We are 62 and 62.
Jillian, praying you have a way out. I'm 62 also and my marriage is different. Fnl is or was a abuser. This sexual abuse is so corrupt in many different ways. 🙏
No clue WTF you just said.
You deserve so much better. Please file for a divorce. Life is way too precious to let someone devalue you in such ways. Ask yourself “Would I want to die beside this person?” ❤❤❤❤
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My husband and I have been together for 13+ years but only married for a little over 4. I just found out last week that he had been sexting and actually met up for sex with another woman and I find myself still here fighting for our marriage too. You’re not alone in this unfortunately it seems to be more common than I knew too. I pray you will find peace and healing whatever your circumstances come to but don’t feel weak or pathetic for trying to fix things. You’re incredibly strong and brave to standing by the vows you made on your wedding day and trying to make things right. At the end of the day regardless of what comes of it all you’ll know you did your very best and I pray God heals your marriage and keeps you and your husband together. As for the other woman I think she needs to repent of her wrong doing and seek help for herself bc going after another woman’s man is deeply wrong and she needs to pull away from the situation. Stay strong and look to the Lord. He can heal all wounds ❤️
Move on girl
Really deep video brother keep up the great work. God bless 🙌 🙏
Been together 13 yrs 7 yr old son not married 30 yrs difference in age But going downhill. I need HELP. Just hearing your vidio is helping
10 out of 10. I'm nothing to my husband. 9 months pregnant and invisible.
Why so
Yes, Doug your right. When they checked out emotionally and spiritually. Your alone. I called to get the information. And the sexual abuse of my family. We were all sex trafficed. Im passed that now. I pray this helps
I'm tried getting help and I'm the bad one. Make me laugh . I keep my eyes 👀 on Jesus. He the way❤👑
Your pain from this withholding is valid. If you need to talk with a counselor/coach, we can schedule you with one at 719-278-3708. We also have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group you can join as well. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
i live in South Africa, where can i get help
We have phone counseling available as well as support groups for over the phone and on Facebook. You can call our office at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org for more information and we would be happy to answer any of your questions or get you scheduled with someone trained by me.
Omg....NAIL ON THE HEAD!!! The 1st 2 years together he was so affectionate physically, verbally...had to be next to me when watching a tv program, etc... now... he wants nothing to do with me. The most I'll get is an affectionate text and it ends there. At home...he avoids me altogether & will try every excuse on planet Earth to get out of spending ANY time with me. I'm nothing more than a roomie to him.
I don't know why he even stays in the relationship if he's no longer interested in me anymore. He even will make excuses to go sleep on the couch. I've seen his phone messages before... he was pouring his problems out to ANOTHER WOMAN & they were flirting!!!!!!
Feeling sorry for all… I hope you’re not feeling like that way anymore.. I can feel you. Strength to you❤
Would have loved to be part of the Facebook group and answered the questions and just like my sex life, I was rejected. Oh the irony.
If you are having issues joining our Facebook group, you can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to help get this resolved.
I’m with my bf of 2 yrs. (I’m in menopause ) He’s constantly on his phone every night after work. He makes himself stay “busy”. We used to cuddle on the couch… that’s gone; he’s possibly watching porn (caught him buttoning up his jeans when I awoke from a nap… he was acting funny and turning his body away from me for a while. ) I do have low back issues (spinal stenosis and AS)
Two sales pitches under the three minute mark? Wow.