a narcissist will try and mimic your confidence you show in a talent / gift etc. in order to get the attention (supply) that you get. - for instance if you are a singer, they will try and become that.
You know what I just realized…. The narc takes a chance with you. They come after you for their selfish needs but what they don’t realize is when the victim gets out… they become even MORE powerful than they were before they met the narc. So the narc is taking a risk in destroying someone… to eventually levelling up someone. It’s almost like why risk it?
I find , in general , that sensitive people almost always need time to develop true , deep confidence in their lives. But once they do...I"m quite sure you largely agree with this observation.
Hi Christina It's been 5months since I discarded the covert narcissist after 11 years married 1. I didnt even realise I was being abused or was in a domestic violence situation ship I figured him out after so long and exposed him to. Outsiders ect church & police ..I discovered he is a pervert..shocking and disgusted! It's still painful how I let a evil cruel demon in my life .wicked!! Him & his mother.. We are healing day by day.. Me and my children are free🙏🏾🌸
Wow! You couldn't have said this any better... the belittling. I experienced it firsthand from my wife as she started going through the discard phase with me.
Self-worth and self-esteem can be repaired. Show your light. Show your confidence. I was discarded because of being me. Don't allow them to steal you, your confidence, or your future goals!!! Keep at it. Yes, I was lovebombed, devalued, discarded, done! What a gift towards getting me back... because I am the real gift! Ever heard..."God doesn't make trash!"
They rage over something that has nothing to do with them, its my thoughts, or my plans, or where i stand, what i verbalize that has nothing to do with them...they rage. Or when i speak up and set boundaries- they play with that- by testing my boundary, or they set up counter- boundaries- for i up hold their counter- boundaries to themselves- they dont like that. Im on to them. WHY, WHY DO THEY DO THAT- ITS BULLY BEHAVIORS- do they... seriously... get amusement from that? Oh, and they excuse each others bad behaviors- in the triangle. I got out! Whew! Crazy.
I have been narcissistic abused pretty much my whole life- im 48. Ive been working on my self and my confidence- admittedly, i may seem too much at times. I can understand- but my confidence brought out the hidden Narc in the group. Twice! The last time be raged, he was like a child- temper tantrum...he grumbled something about why i stand up front all the time- j offered him the front, moved to the back, and he flipped out. Took his stuff, and looked back at us, said he wasnt showing up- so we could be short a member for the event- " punish " we did fine. I dropped boundary, never heard from , he went on a smear campaign. I eventually saw him again, gave him a big hug,said to him that i love you bro. Never seen him again. Only the effects of more smear campaign- contaminatimg some other folks. Which was going down hill too- by other fragile people.
Other alternatives to them calling you a narcissist: “you just think you know everything,” “you think you’re so special,” “you just want to control me/XYZ,” and I’m sure there’s many more similar comments…
My husband's narcissistic SIL gives me the cold shoulder and has never spoken to me in the 6 years that I've known the family. It's never bothered me though because it's proof that I make her feel insecure, and I can see through her facade. I'm grateful to be in the discard pile 😂
I hadn’t realised but, soon after i was ‘complemented’ by the narc for appearing more confident and had some ‘swagger’, i was then discarded again by them after she was resentfully stewing, cold and distant at the idea i was being and feeling confident. I am not, overall, a particularly confident person but I do work on it, try to improve myself and achieve in my life. This seemed to be perceived as threats and my achievements made whilst independent of her were used as the reasons why she wanted to break up again. Since this, i have been trying to piece my life back together again with varying degrees of success. Thank you for this channel and your videos which give such help and insight to those of us struggling.
Christina, does a covert narcissist ever reach a point as they age where they actually start to 'get it!'..and realize they could have much more love and respect if they would just straighten up their act, knock off all the BS, just be a real nice person ...give love, receive love?
I received poor advice many years ago that they will mature and become easier to live with as they age. In my experience this is incorrect. Their habits and mindset ossify and they almost never change in any meaningful way.
What sort of crazy does a woman have to be to not want a confident Man? Mine just told me, while I’m trying to be humble and reconcile that she hates that I’m arrogant and confident. Her words. FFS done now.
at the latest family dinner which i attended last summer :D i came in a really good mood, calm, balanced, not taking the bait from my narc cousin hours before and started talking leisurely and calmly and with a wit which surprised even myself so she ignored my words as if she didn't hear them, not even looking at me continuing to interact with other people present. the bad news is though all the rest are also narcissists :D so they ignored my good mood and confidence too and her ignoring me worked, however, i noticed her ignoring me this time with a knowledge and awareness and this me noticing her antics made my day ;D because i wasnt even able to notice them before just getting sad much after each family gatherup because feeling not enough or stupid or whatever.
Unfortunately my family dealt with a narcissist last year. He had a position of authority and let you know that he was in charge. When we called him out on his extremely inappropriate behavior he used a written threat to try and gain control of the situation. At this point in time he we knew who and what he was and experienced a hard discard on his behalf. I now that he isn't a good person and appreciate no contact with this man. Our lawyer is dealing with him and his employer now. Healing and recognizing a narc was a blessing in our lives from that point on.
Got shocked when you said: "they will say you have something wrong on your face", when my self esteem was on the garbage, the only "self esteem moment" I had was to dress up (when we are going out) and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS heard this sentence, or was something on my face, or my teeth, or the skirt being "ugly". I never felt this so bad because I also used to point out things on him, or even if I was jealous about some new clothes maybe I also would say something, so I always put myself in this place: yes but I already said this kind of thing to him, but anyways, turn out that I am working now the self esteem in the background, and I simply ignore him in a level as never before, all the ignore moment I suffered from him are nothing close to how on the wind stay his words, ahahaha and guess what? Now he does not even dare to say a single word, I think he never saw me with any self esteem so it must be a little shocking maybe. Thank you for your video and help ❤❤❤
before these demonic stalkers became noticeable in my life with constant covert harassment tactics, I would be able to spend hours on the computer working on my scripts and recording music, or just doing more things to better myself. Now after years of these demonic stalkers forcing themselves in my life, its as if im in the bed more, im watching more videos on narcissism instead of other things, I dont work on my scripts as often or record music as often. The thing with me working on my scripts and music is that when I sit i at the computer, they literally start panicking and use witchcraft(Direct energy weapons) to make me cough repeatedly, and/or have headaches, and/or have chest compression, which in returns throw me off my vibe and drains me to the point where i just want to lay down. But when im not being productive theyre not harassing me the same. When im just doing something that really isnt beneifiting me then they dont harass me as much because to them when im not being productive its a form of harassment within itself. When you look at my youtube ive been making music for years and barely have 300 likes on my videos--understand, shadow banning me(not showing support) didnt take my confidence, nor did they take my confidence by disrespecting me all day with harassment...I still enjoy making music, and writing scripts(two things that definetly gett my mind off of the narcissists) so now they have to resort to witchcraft to drain me in those areas. Because they dont want you doing anything thats going to help you heal, or provide dopamine as they desperately want to deplete their target. All theyre doing is prolonging things with constant negative blockage but you are so right on this video view my Instagram @tsktskteaser
When I realised what I'm dealing with and found my confidence again, I found myself standing up and giving it back to the narc. I want them to see they cannot break me.. then I worried that I'd become the narc..
It depends on what sorts of people? certain sorts go flying monkey. working for people who are insecure can very well fire you, but it is a blessing because you are more than not less than, nothing less, nothing more- as is.
I would love to hear your thoughts on Narcissist Whisperers. I don’t let their BS get to me but I am always looking for tactics to remain calm when I encounter one. I am very confident women, I have no issue working with or dealing with a narcissist because they just don’t bother me… I REALLY bother them though. The general reaction is to try to tear me down but since my self worth doesn’t come from an outside source they seem to not know what to do. I don’t react the way they want. They ask a rude question or say, “I don’t understand, you’re not making sense.” So I calmly & unemotionally explain to them what I mean. This is interfering to watch when others are present. But I also am able to show love & compassion. I don’t trust people with a lot of these characteristics but I am able to love them. I have very good boundaries & thankfully havd only encountered 1 malignant narcissists. That was unpleasant but ultimately I felt very sad for how bad they must feel about themselves. Hurt people hurt people. Anyway I would love to hear more techniques for those of us who generally deal with narcissists well by keeping them at a distance. However occasionally I am put into a working environment where I must deal with one & cooperate. 💜
So I have a question... A friend of mine is currently being hoovered by her narcissist husband of 27 years, but though she can accept that he WAS emotionally abusive, she doesn't accept that he's a narcissist, and she thinks these hoovering changes are real. She had separated from him briefly (discarded him after he was threatening to discard her, belittling her for showing confidence, putting her down for achievements and whatever else because he was losing control). So here's my question: if she shows confidence NOW, as she's been finding her voice, how will he react when hoovering, and how can she spot or test for these "changes" being, in fact, fake? It seems like maybe this kind of hoovering cancels out this kind of crappy behavior, but it must be difficult to maintain, yes? Where can one spot the cracks in the facade?
She’ll see it in the way he reacts to her new found confidence lol he’ll say this & that & accuse her of fucking heaps of people but I’m reality it’s projections. Don’t worry she’ll see it
@@rachgrigg2447 But he's not doing that right now because he's playing the hoovering game. So I'm wondering how one can see through that, since her confidence must make that harder to do.
What sort of crazy does a woman have to be to not want a confident Man? Mine just told me, while I’m trying to be humble and reconcile that she hates that I’m arrogant and confident. Her words. FFS done now.been accused of being a narcissist m, been accused of gaslighting for calling her out.
I once told my narc I deserved better than her. Oh boy did I mortally wound her by saying that. She asked do you really think you could? And I was honest! I said I don’t know but some of the things you have done are unacceptable so yes there probably are people out there who might not do those things. I said I empathize with you but only to a point because I know you know better.
Trigger them or today send them into a flurry of coding unhelpful to other working people customized windows last minute during test time maintenance of system updates?
My narcissist ex wife was cheating me again. I told her "go and have fun and feel free to come back when you have had fun enough." She got so angry she took divorce... 😅
things i think are count as cheating are. Sex Kissing Texting someone else Hugging Meeting up Holding hands Touching each other like putting hands on each other hands and arm Meeting up Calling someone else Lying to your boyfriend who Texting Making out you are texting someone like your mum or dad or family member but really it boy or girl behind the their back
Mine hated me learning her behavior after so many cycles from positive to negative yes I was fooled 3 times the 4th bwas busn dealmown my home investment wrong move 4 yrs sold that house first week away after many decades hit me up anyone Andy
I once told my narc I deserved better than her. Oh boy did I mortally wound her by saying that. She asked do you really think you could? And I was honest! I said I don’t know but some of the things you have done are unacceptable so yes there probably are people out there who might not do those things. I said I empathize with you but only to a point because I know you know better.
➡ DOWNLOAD THE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE CHECKLIST HERE: www.commonego.com/checklist
a narcissist will try and mimic your confidence you show in a talent / gift etc. in order to get the attention (supply) that you get. - for instance if you are a singer, they will try and become that.
You know what I just realized….
The narc takes a chance with you. They come after you for their selfish needs but what they don’t realize is when the victim gets out… they become even MORE powerful than they were before they met the narc. So the narc is taking a risk in destroying someone… to eventually levelling up someone.
It’s almost like why risk it?
Because they're expecting to never get found out. In their mind they're above all, they think their fake confidence is real. Plus they need the supply
This ^^^
And I can relate , my spoon is also entirely too big
I find , in general , that sensitive people almost always need time to develop true , deep confidence in their lives. But once they do...I"m quite sure you largely agree with this observation.
1-he would tell me i was too dressed up for work and i must be going out behind his back
Hi Christina
It's been 5months since I discarded the covert narcissist after 11 years married 1. I didnt even realise I was being abused or was in a domestic violence situation ship
I figured him out after so long and exposed him to. Outsiders ect church & police ..I discovered he is a pervert..shocking and disgusted!
It's still painful how I let a evil cruel demon in my life .wicked!! Him & his mother..
We are healing day by day..
Me and my children are free🙏🏾🌸
Wow! You couldn't have said this any better... the belittling. I experienced it firsthand from my wife as she started going through the discard phase with me.
Self-worth and self-esteem can be repaired. Show your light. Show your confidence. I was discarded because of being me. Don't allow them to steal you, your confidence, or your future goals!!! Keep at it. Yes, I was lovebombed, devalued, discarded, done! What a gift towards getting me back... because I am the real gift! Ever heard..."God doesn't make trash!"
Absolutely 🤗 Praise the Lord 🙏
I definitely started feeling less of myself.
They rage over something that has nothing to do with them, its my thoughts, or my plans, or where i stand, what i verbalize that has nothing to do with them...they rage. Or when i speak up and set boundaries- they play with that- by testing my boundary, or they set up counter- boundaries- for i up hold their counter- boundaries to themselves- they dont like that. Im on to them. WHY, WHY DO THEY DO THAT- ITS BULLY BEHAVIORS- do they... seriously... get amusement from that? Oh, and they excuse each others bad behaviors- in the triangle. I got out! Whew! Crazy.
I have been narcissistic abused pretty much my whole life- im 48. Ive been working on my self and my confidence- admittedly, i may seem too much at times. I can understand- but my confidence brought out the hidden Narc in the group. Twice! The last time be raged, he was like a child- temper tantrum...he grumbled something about why i stand up front all the time- j offered him the front, moved to the back, and he flipped out. Took his stuff, and looked back at us, said he wasnt showing up- so we could be short a member for the event- " punish " we did fine. I dropped boundary, never heard from , he went on a smear campaign. I eventually saw him again, gave him a big hug,said to him that i love you bro. Never seen him again. Only the effects of more smear campaign- contaminatimg some other folks. Which was going down hill too- by other fragile people.
Follow through with actions is huge ! It shows that you are highly confident & cannot be controlled
I am very confident and strong ! 🚀🙌🏼
Other alternatives to them calling you a narcissist: “you just think you know everything,” “you think you’re so special,” “you just want to control me/XYZ,” and I’m sure there’s many more similar comments…
My husband's narcissistic SIL gives me the cold shoulder and has never spoken to me in the 6 years that I've known the family. It's never bothered me though because it's proof that I make her feel insecure, and I can see through her facade. I'm grateful to be in the discard pile 😂
I hadn’t realised but, soon after i was ‘complemented’ by the narc for appearing more confident and had some ‘swagger’, i was then discarded again by them after she was resentfully stewing, cold and distant at the idea i was being and feeling confident. I am not, overall, a particularly confident person but I do work on it, try to improve myself and achieve in my life. This seemed to be perceived as threats and my achievements made whilst independent of her were used as the reasons why she wanted to break up again. Since this, i have been trying to piece my life back together again with varying degrees of success. Thank you for this channel and your videos which give such help and insight to those of us struggling.
Christina, does a covert narcissist ever reach a point as they age where they actually start to 'get it!'..and realize they could have much more love and respect if they would just straighten up their act, knock off all the BS, just be a real nice person ...give love, receive love?
I received poor advice many years ago that they will mature and become easier to live with as they age.
In my experience this is incorrect. Their habits and mindset ossify and they almost never change in any meaningful way.
NO
What sort of crazy does a woman have to be to not want a confident Man? Mine just told me, while I’m trying to be humble and reconcile that she hates that I’m arrogant and confident. Her words. FFS done now.
So my roommate mistook being wounded for being weak. Im anything but resilliant AF
at the latest family dinner which i attended last summer :D i came in a really good mood, calm, balanced, not taking the bait from my narc cousin hours before and started talking leisurely and calmly and with a wit which surprised even myself so she ignored my words as if she didn't hear them, not even looking at me continuing to interact with other people present. the bad news is though all the rest are also narcissists :D so they ignored my good mood and confidence too and her ignoring me worked, however, i noticed her ignoring me this time with a knowledge and awareness and this me noticing her antics made my day ;D because i wasnt even able to notice them before just getting sad much after each family gatherup because feeling not enough or stupid or whatever.
Very well said! Thank you Christina. ❤
Unfortunately my family dealt with a narcissist last year. He had a position of authority and let you know that he was in charge. When we called him out on his extremely inappropriate behavior he used a written threat to try and gain control of the situation. At this point in time he we knew who and what he was and experienced a hard discard on his behalf. I now that he isn't a good person and appreciate no contact with this man. Our lawyer is dealing with him and his employer now. Healing and recognizing a narc was a blessing in our lives from that point on.
Got shocked when you said: "they will say you have something wrong on your face", when my self esteem was on the garbage, the only "self esteem moment" I had was to dress up (when we are going out) and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS heard this sentence, or was something on my face, or my teeth, or the skirt being "ugly". I never felt this so bad because I also used to point out things on him, or even if I was jealous about some new clothes maybe I also would say something, so I always put myself in this place: yes but I already said this kind of thing to him, but anyways, turn out that I am working now the self esteem in the background, and I simply ignore him in a level as never before, all the ignore moment I suffered from him are nothing close to how on the wind stay his words, ahahaha and guess what? Now he does not even dare to say a single word, I think he never saw me with any self esteem so it must be a little shocking maybe. Thank you for your video and help ❤❤❤
I needed to wake up to this thank you so much x
before these demonic stalkers became noticeable in my life with constant covert harassment tactics, I would be able to spend hours on the computer working on my scripts and recording music, or just doing more things to better myself. Now after years of these demonic stalkers forcing themselves in my life, its as if im in the bed more, im watching more videos on narcissism instead of other things, I dont work on my scripts as often or record music as often. The thing with me working on my scripts and music is that when I sit i at the computer, they literally start panicking and use witchcraft(Direct energy weapons) to make me cough repeatedly, and/or have headaches, and/or have chest compression, which in returns throw me off my vibe and drains me to the point where i just want to lay down. But when im not being productive theyre not harassing me the same. When im just doing something that really isnt beneifiting me then they dont harass me as much because to them when im not being productive its a form of harassment within itself. When you look at my youtube ive been making music for years and barely have 300 likes on my videos--understand, shadow banning me(not showing support) didnt take my confidence, nor did they take my confidence by disrespecting me all day with harassment...I still enjoy making music, and writing scripts(two things that definetly gett my mind off of the narcissists) so now they have to resort to witchcraft to drain me in those areas. Because they dont want you doing anything thats going to help you heal, or provide dopamine as they desperately want to deplete their target. All theyre doing is prolonging things with constant negative blockage but you are so right on this video view my Instagram @tsktskteaser
god this video helped me so much to reach the truth, and i feel so empowered now.
When I realised what I'm dealing with and found my confidence again, I found myself standing up and giving it back to the narc. I want them to see they cannot break me.. then I worried that I'd become the narc..
Npd sister is triggered to the max by my newfound confidence (former target)…..she gets really loud & demands everyone’s attention 😂
Your insight and knowledge on Narcissism along with your very soothing voice help me stay strong and not fall apart. Thank you so much 🙏.
Me too
What about having my confidence held against me? Essentially that it’s not fair my confidence is real while theirs isn’t 😬
It depends on what sorts of people? certain sorts go flying monkey. working for people who are insecure can very well fire you, but it is a blessing because you are more than not less than, nothing less, nothing more- as is.
thank you muchly
I would love to hear your thoughts on Narcissist Whisperers. I don’t let their BS get to me but I am always looking for tactics to remain calm when I encounter one. I am very confident women, I have no issue working with or dealing with a narcissist because they just don’t bother me… I REALLY bother them though. The general reaction is to try to tear me down but since my self worth doesn’t come from an outside source they seem to not know what to do. I don’t react the way they want. They ask a rude question or say, “I don’t understand, you’re not making sense.” So I calmly & unemotionally explain to them what I mean. This is interfering to watch when others are present. But I also am able to show love & compassion. I don’t trust people with a lot of these characteristics but I am able to love them. I have very good boundaries & thankfully havd only encountered 1 malignant narcissists. That was unpleasant but ultimately I felt very sad for how bad they must feel about themselves. Hurt people hurt people.
Anyway I would love to hear more techniques for those of us who generally deal with narcissists well by keeping them at a distance. However occasionally I am put into a working environment where I must deal with one & cooperate.
💜
So I have a question...
A friend of mine is currently being hoovered by her narcissist husband of 27 years, but though she can accept that he WAS emotionally abusive, she doesn't accept that he's a narcissist, and she thinks these hoovering changes are real. She had separated from him briefly (discarded him after he was threatening to discard her, belittling her for showing confidence, putting her down for achievements and whatever else because he was losing control). So here's my question: if she shows confidence NOW, as she's been finding her voice, how will he react when hoovering, and how can she spot or test for these "changes" being, in fact, fake? It seems like maybe this kind of hoovering cancels out this kind of crappy behavior, but it must be difficult to maintain, yes? Where can one spot the cracks in the facade?
She’ll see it in the way he reacts to her new found confidence lol he’ll say this & that & accuse her of fucking heaps of people but I’m reality it’s projections. Don’t worry she’ll see it
@@rachgrigg2447 But he's not doing that right now because he's playing the hoovering game. So I'm wondering how one can see through that, since her confidence must make that harder to do.
@@vorbis4860 gotta let her go through it man.
Thank you for your video. What would be a mature response to a narcissist who accuses you of being a narcissist?
What sort of crazy does a woman have to be to not want a confident Man? Mine just told me, while I’m trying to be humble and reconcile that she hates that I’m arrogant and confident. Her words. FFS done now.been accused of being a narcissist m, been accused of gaslighting for calling her out.
I once told my narc I deserved better than her. Oh boy did I mortally wound her by saying that. She asked do you really think you could? And I was honest! I said I don’t know but some of the things you have done are unacceptable so yes there probably are people out there who might not do those things. I said I empathize with you but only to a point because I know you know better.
Angry 😂😂😂 when confiden’t 😂😂😂
Huh, mine loves when I’m confident. He hates it when I’m feeling insecure.
Trigger them or today send them into a flurry of coding unhelpful to other working people customized windows last minute during test time maintenance of system updates?
downplay, minimize, degrade 😂
All narcissist people only will loss forever and ever 💯
My narcissist ex wife was cheating me again. I told her "go and have fun and feel free to come back when you have had fun enough." She got so angry she took divorce... 😅
MOCKING!! BELITTLING! All of it, all the time. If you fawn and dim your light, they calm down and may even reward you. Ask me how I know.
things i think are count as cheating are.
Sex
Kissing
Texting someone else
Hugging
Meeting up
Holding hands
Touching each other like putting hands on each other hands and arm
Meeting up
Calling someone else
Lying to your boyfriend who Texting
Making out you are texting someone like your mum or dad or family member but really it boy or girl behind the their back
My wife straight up goes physically violent
You must leave
Mine hated me learning her behavior after so many cycles from positive to negative yes I was fooled 3 times the 4th bwas busn dealmown my home investment wrong move 4 yrs sold that house first week away after many decades hit me up anyone Andy
I once told my narc I deserved better than her. Oh boy did I mortally wound her by saying that. She asked do you really think you could? And I was honest! I said I don’t know but some of the things you have done are unacceptable so yes there probably are people out there who might not do those things. I said I empathize with you but only to a point because I know you know better.