@@tobyscustoms4813 6% of the human population genuinely has no sense of humor, I wonder if your wife is one? That’s actually kinda cool, it becomes a challenge making those people laugh. It feels amazing when you can get them to laugh hard lmao
When Tom finishes the Casey story and Christina looks at the camera 😂 and the fact she isn’t dying laughing makes him laugh even harder. I relate. It’s a beautiful life being the funniest person you know
I was sitting in a waiting room at a pain management clinic i had my headphones on watching this. i cracked up at the end and when i looked up everyone in the lobby was looking at me like i killed there mother.. If only they could hear what i was laughing at! lol
Nadia 168 whoa, pump the breaks! I feel like I’m the #1 main mommy/jeans. I would like challenge you for the title. Then i will crowned mommy champ...try it out
Nadia 168 I had a lady challenge me 15 times before I even went boom once...you can rub rub rub all you want, but I will use my lung infection as a musical instrument to be the main mommy champ
"A bear walks into a restaurant and says 'I'd like a grilled......cheese." The bartenders says 'what's with the the big pause?' The bear responds 'ummm, I'm a bear? ... " (hint: pause vs paws)
Tom's laugh freaking kills me!!! And Christina just staring at him like hes a damn psycho... holy shit hahahaha this is true love folks. She accepts him for his psycho and he doesnt kill her in return lmao
Who observes a couple who live down the street and thinks about scenarios you could have if you were friends with them? I'll tell you who does. Serial killers that's who.
Tom, you can never be like this because he doesn't tell jokes all the time. I crack up every time I'm saying anything funny that I've rehearsed for 30 seconds. I've ruined so many fucking good jokes, and they were my own jokes. The only time I'm funny is when something I'm talking about happens to be funny and I don't think it is so my delivery is perfect. I fucking hate it.
I just came from a Seinfeld stand-up clip because I didn't get the "what's the deeeEEEal... with coconuts?!" Stuff. And I'm amazed how people eat that shit up. I just don't get it. Clearly millions of other people do. Just not my taste But when i watch Tom's clips, I'm home. He's hilarious. His authenticity and genuine delivery are incredible. He pushes the envelope to try and get a little reaction, and its not forced. Its just him. Thanks Tom for doing your stuff. You give me hope for the envelope-pushing comedy.
Christine - "let's not talk about killing kids as a mother its just eurgh..." Tom - "So OJs got his hands in those tiny gloves around you're neck..." Christine -"..Go on.. !! "
Just got done watching the "Ride or Die" clip where Christina would turn you in to the police for murder, Tom. I HAD your back all the way, but after hearing this (I did laugh my balls off) about the Casey Anthony BJ and seeing Christina's face, i realized that she lives with you and has to hear all this stuff all the time. It opened my eyes on how she can think about turning you in... that being said, i typed this up AFTER i wiped the tears from my eyes from laughter. Keep living the dream
"I killed my daughter"
*wheezes aggressively*
*turns red*
Atlas Marvel
"Killed my *fuckin* daughter"
christine gives the jim from the office look at the camera. 🤣
The delivery absolutely killed me.
Man he’s not right, in the right way
Tom: 🤣
Christina: 😐
Tom: 🤣🤣🤣
Christina: 😑
Tom: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LOLOL
NPC #1997 why tf are you copying
Russ Wright he’s a npc dude what do you expect?
christine*
One sad emoji and 10 squares - gotcha
Nothing makes me laugh harder than my girlfriend not laughing at my jokes.
Its gotten to the point where I try to make myself laugh and not her
My wife doesn’t get jokes ever it’s awesome
I have a joke that i never thought was funny until i annoyed my girl to hell with it.
Helps when you're an Incel.
@@tobyscustoms4813 6% of the human population genuinely has no sense of humor, I wonder if your wife is one? That’s actually kinda cool, it becomes a challenge making those people laugh. It feels amazing when you can get them to laugh hard lmao
Christine looks so disappointed in you with the Casey Anthony joke
she looked at the camera like Jim from The Office
lol
She's always disappointed. That joke was amazing. Made me cry.
You must be new here lol. She always looks at him like that
It's fucking priceless....😂😂😂
Christina's reaction to Brendan's son's name was hilarious
Robert Huppie right 😹 in mommy Tina’s defense .... tiger is a stupid ass name
Her name is Christine get it right
How does Brendan not see that his kid is 100% gonna get bullied for that name?
str8todamoney he'll probably know how to fight tho so whatevs
Marj H Hahahah she was like well shit I guess that happened. No turning back now
Christinas discomfort brings Tom joy which brings me even more joy lol
Find someone that makes you as happy as serial killers and watching other people get hurt makes Tom.
Sebastian Clemmons I don’t understand anything
Whoever found you needs to find someone with better grammar.
I've tried to read this correctly so many times
Jimi Silva and
john g
What do you mean?
When Tom breaks a real laugh it’s one of the most wholesome things in the world no matter what he’s laughing at
I love how he's crying laughing the entire video but just before it ends he goes completely straight faced and gives us......
13:30 😐 "yep"
"Can we change it to wife killing?" - Tom's Wife lmao
Going through some tough times right now, but you guys always help me feel better and realize how dumb and funny the world really is. Love you JEANS!
When Tom finishes the Casey story and Christina looks at the camera 😂 and the fact she isn’t dying laughing makes him laugh even harder. I relate. It’s a beautiful life being the funniest person you know
9:42 is hilarious. Christina's eye contact. Cut to Tom losing his shit. Perfect.
942 until 948 is the perfect clip!! Played it about 100x lol
I love Tom’s version of everything.
I was sitting in a waiting room at a pain management clinic i had my headphones on watching this. i cracked up at the end and when i looked up everyone in the lobby was looking at me like i killed there mother.. If only they could hear what i was laughing at! lol
iceman22m you get the oxy or what? Dont leave us hanging
their*
please learn English
120 30s lol
maybe they did
Hook me up bro my back hurts
When Tom laughs at the Asian guy getting backed into. That's the most joyous laugh i've ever heard
But have you heard Bert and Koolaid? Lol. Probably.
@@pdodwell that does beat this one
“I killed my fucking daughter” is the best punchline to a joke. I cried
The Big Paws joke is hands down one of my FAVORITE jokes to tell when I want to earn disapproving looks from my friends.
@2:35 if a girl knew me this well I would know she’s the one lol
tom giggling and looking so pleased after the punchline always cracks me up
Christina’s words 2:44-2:50 are relationship goals
The Anthony and O.J jokes had me in tears. Tom’s laughter just makes it even funnier.
This should be a bit in a special! So funny!
I was literally crying laughing. Thanks Tom. It's makes it better when Christina hates it.
I’ve heard this twice and now watched it and cracked up laughing every time. Main mommy here
Nadia 168 whoa, pump the breaks! I feel like I’m the #1 main mommy/jeans. I would like challenge you for the title. Then i will crowned mommy champ...try it out
Mike Hancho piss on me, beat me. I’m up for the challenge
Nadia 168 I had a lady challenge me 15 times before I even went boom once...you can rub rub rub all you want, but I will use my lung infection as a musical instrument to be the main mommy champ
Mike Hancho I want to marry you ❤️ I’m just a ball hog looking for someone to share my Benadryl with. You had me at chest infection ❤️ 😘
Where else can u listen to this ?
God I love the juxtaposition of Tom’s happy kid giggles with the phrase “I murdered my daughter”
The look on Christina's face at 9:43 is the reason I love Tom Segura.
Reminds me of the look theo gives santino on somethings burning.
Tommy enjoys his own humor as much as anyone I know. It's hilarious.
ive watched this like 10 times in the past 3 years and everytime i forget about and laugh at this part just as much as Tom does. 2:38
Wow I didn't laugh as hard the first go round as I did when you pointed that out! I'm in tears and don't know how I missed it lol!
Inner thoughts: wow Tom’s a complete psycho. Tom “ I killed my daughter” I start laughing harder than Tom.... maybe I have no room to judge
The Casey Anthony confessing thing was pretty funny , but Toms laugh killed me
Shoutout to Brandon Shaw for naming his kid a stupid name.
Thomas clayton Hawkins Brennan Scab?
You mean Brandon Swab?
Edit: don't mean to be rude, just correcting you brother. Much love.
justinfuzzyhat you mean braedon Shawn?
Danny Dreadnought you mean bending Shaun?
Brendun Snob?
I love his sense of humor & I love how his wife hates the jokes lmao it's a funny combo. Makes his jokes 100x more funny
Tom Segura is one of my favorite comedians and he has the coolest wife in the world, you guys are amazing.
"A bear walks into a restaurant and says 'I'd like a grilled......cheese." The bartenders says 'what's with the the big pause?' The bear responds 'ummm, I'm a bear? ... " (hint: pause vs paws)
pipeness the hint was unnecessary
chadgrov I needed it
Noah Ziegler IMURDEREDMYDAUGHTER
Dey iz duuuuuumb!
It took me three times before my wife got this
Tom's laugh freaking kills me!!! And Christina just staring at him like hes a damn psycho... holy shit hahahaha this is true love folks. She accepts him for his psycho and he doesnt kill her in return lmao
I know the punchline, I know it's coming, and it's still hilarious Every Single Time.
Back again hahaha. I've NEVER not cried laughing at the Casey Anthony bit 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣😂😘the moment you realize how physco Tom really is
Watching how disgusted Kristina was the entire time was gold
I'm slowly starting to realize I may be a psycho also. Thanks a lot Tom.
I love when Tom “Psycho laughs” and his eyebrows droup down.. HILARIOUS!
Toms story telling makes me feel like he’d be a fantastic dungeon master 😂
Tom's sense of humor is my spirit animal
This is still one of my favorite clips, Tommy makes me laugh like no other
I'm dying over and over watching this. Tom's humor is fucking awesome
The Casey Anthony joke was fantastic...that shit got me.
I’m so glad this epic Tom joke came back on my feed lol. Made me cry laughing again
Hahah Christina's look at the camera was funny as hell ,oh the timing
The way Christina did the Jim Halpert when Tom started laughing about Casey Anthony was perfect.
Tom's laugh makes me happy.
“What if he beats his wife and kids?”
Tom: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
One of my all time favorite ymh clips 🤣
Dad’s bear-joke almost made me piss my pants 😂😂😂👍
Ann Coulter walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
When I heard that one, it was Sara Jessica Parker.
Tom: “I wish I could go on stage and do this shit”
Also Tom: Is best friends with someone who does EXACTLY that 😂😂😂
That BJ story was hysterical 😂😂
😂😂😂 Tom crushed it with the Casey Anthony joke. 💀💀💀
Tom: Imagine a murderer confesses to a murder during sex
Me: Okay.
Tom: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me: Well, when you put it that way
I read that as “Well, when you put it IN that way”.
@@charlottem.1477 lmao
2 years later and i just laughed my ass off! Thankyou!
Being Italian it's always the most difficult part to understand american dad jokes but I only need Tom's laugh to enjoy this
Find someone you can have a conversation with like this for hours upon hours a day! Just the best
Tom is gonna have awesome dad jokes
This was so funny I watched it again. My roommate and I died laughing at Tom’s jokes.
I'm not sure I've laughed this hard; ever, I'm not sure what that says about me.
Hahahaha Tom’s laugh is so damn contagious. I can’t breathe!
Tom the masochist! haha I love how detailed you can get on the fly
Classic Trading Cards it’s sadist not masochist.
12:35 you say this as im literally wiping tears off my face.
its definitely tear worthy. Tom you had me Dying.
“Jesus for bad hips and knees he can really thrust” 😂😂
Tom and Christina are so the couple down the street you wanna hang out with after work and drink a beer with all the time.
Who observes a couple who live down the street and thinks about scenarios you could have if you were friends with them? I'll tell you who does. Serial killers that's who.
" I slit both those mother fuckers knecks"
I laughed so hard at that
It's been 8 months, I just want to know if the bear got his grilled cheese!!
The joke and reaction at 9:45 killed me haha
2:35 - 3:00 lmao
her face of absolute satisfaction about how Tom laughes at the most fucked up shit lmao.
a penguin asks the bartender "have you seen my father?"
bartender "what's he look like?"
Who else was screaming "Anthony!"
You caught me
While I was jerking off too.
im in literal tears over the casey anthony part, thats legit one of the funniest things i have ever heard on a podcast..
Well the general public in the fry's grocery store parking lot is now surprised by my complete lack of laughing quietly!
I just laughed at how Tom was laughing. Infectious
Tom is a national treasure, that lead in & delivery was fantastic!
I am on the floor after his Casey Anthony joke 😂
Your Casey Anthony joke was freaking hilarious
Toms Casey Anthony bit... I haven't laughed that hard in a long time 😂
Jesus I pissed a little!😂
"Thats funny Tom..." LMFAO
8:12 Casey Anthony bit.. your welcome mommies
I just watched this and I’m in tears...HILARIOUS
I'm in tears too...But for a different reason.
There are few things on this planet better than a Tom Segura story.
I'm sitting in an airport laughing hysterically. People looking at me like I'm fucked.
What did one plate say to the other?
"Dinner's on me."
"Sorry brendan... it's a great name..."
lmao
2:42 is a moment that made me go "this is the kind of thing I need in a wife".
Christina posing the question about the jolly old man made me laugh so hard.
Tom, you can never be like this because he doesn't tell jokes all the time. I crack up every time I'm saying anything funny that I've rehearsed for 30 seconds. I've ruined so many fucking good jokes, and they were my own jokes. The only time I'm funny is when something I'm talking about happens to be funny and I don't think it is so my delivery is perfect. I fucking hate it.
I just came from a Seinfeld stand-up clip because I didn't get the "what's the deeeEEEal... with coconuts?!" Stuff. And I'm amazed how people eat that shit up. I just don't get it. Clearly millions of other people do. Just not my taste
But when i watch Tom's clips, I'm home. He's hilarious. His authenticity and genuine delivery are incredible. He pushes the envelope to try and get a little reaction, and its not forced. Its just him. Thanks Tom for doing your stuff. You give me hope for the envelope-pushing comedy.
Christine - "let's not talk about killing kids as a mother its just eurgh..."
Tom - "So OJs got his hands in those tiny gloves around you're neck..."
Christine -"..Go on.. !! "
😂🤣
Best part of the whole thing is the very end when Tom goes - "yup"
8:53 that is a very descriptive and specific BJ ever
Just got done watching the "Ride or Die" clip where Christina would turn you in to the police for murder, Tom. I HAD your back all the way, but after hearing this (I did laugh my balls off) about the Casey Anthony BJ and seeing Christina's face, i realized that she lives with you and has to hear all this stuff all the time. It opened my eyes on how she can think about turning you in... that being said, i typed this up AFTER i wiped the tears from my eyes from laughter. Keep living the dream