How To Stop Oversharing And Stay Mysterious
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- How To Stop Oversharing And Stay Mysterious
This video will be about oversharing, that is telling people more than they need to know. We will look at why you should not overshare, signs that you might be oversharing, how you can stop, and we will look at how you can reply when someone is oversharing to you. Enjoy the video ladies. Much love Urania
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@Levelup.journey
#Oversharing
#Mystery
#Feminine
I overshare because I want to make friends. I want to show the person I'm open and vulnerable. But I need to stop, because not all people have good intentions. Thank you for this video.
same here. i really needed this video.
Exactly the same. I wanna make friends and I know how fun I am. Glad I am not alone
ME TOO
I'm the same way and I need to stop...we can do this
So do I
I’m gonna watch this many times until my skull 💀 is burning
I’m trying but this thing is hard 🤦♀️
lmao, girl samee.
Read your Bible 😊, it usually helps me when I get confused about Life😁, I hope this helps.
Same here 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽
Me too
@@spiritkeen3521 perfect
I am married into a family who's secretive and narcissistic. I am the one who overshares and that has made me vulnerable and open to ridicule. People take me for granted cz of that. Oversharing has always landed me in trouble and I have started to control my urge to overshare by making my conversations short.
- From India ❤️
How to make a conversation short
@@felistersmumo8682 slap them 🤝
Damn the “I’ve never told anyone this but…” is soo true. There’s a reason why u’ve never told anyone ab it and it should probably stay that way
Oversharing is very in our family, they get nervous if you don’t share it all.
Ppl oversharing about themselves or want me to share my stuff bores me to the core 😩
My past self feels extremely called out.
My current self feels called out
I overshare when people do so sometimes i feel like i wanna exchange things with them as they do but after i regret because i must not say that and whatever people share they are free and i have to keep my personal life for me .thanks for the video💛🌠
generally I don't speak much but when I do sometimes I overshared. thank you for your video. it is helpful especially the point that you mentioned that we should never discuss certain topics with strangers
thank you
I only want to stop talking because it feels like i’m always the ONLY one talking. In fact that’s why I actually talk. And then you figure out people talk more behind your back. I just want to stop feeling like i’m bragging about everything. I want to actually feel wanted instead of a annoying distraction.
I finally got a therapist because I share literally everything about my life with every one. Now I can vent my heart for an hour every week and journal daily or every other day.
I’m still new to this journey, but I definitely don’t feel as embarrassed or a failure when things that I shared don’t go my way
idk if i should be laughing at this but lmaaoo gurrl, don't just trust random strangers like there's no need... tbh i was like that before but i started reading books about how i should act and i'm much better now. hope u changed too
I overshare about my mental illness online, and i really regret it.
I just realised I overshare 😖. Thankyou for this 😇
Great video 🌸🌸it’s best to be mysterious
I FEEL like I hate to set myself on fire for others to like me, hence, I share deep things. also, I love people so much and I try to hep them with my mistakes so they won't make them in their lives.
Thank you for sharing this, I know this will be helpful to a lot of people! 💯
i really regret oversharring. whenever i comeback home and remember what i talked about with others i really regret. i wish i can stop this hobbit
I am number three. Everyone knows that feeling of when someone shares a really sensitive piece of information and then they have those puppy eyes and long pause that say, “OK…now YOU share something….”👀
The worse feeling is when someone shares something, then you share something, and they start to act like you’re better than them for something you went through. Like they’ll act all smarmy and be say, “damn, I didn’t know that about you. 😏”
Ma’am, I went trough a very, VERY small moment in time where I had to sleep on a mattress on the floor. You had an abortion from a man you later found out was gay. We are NOT the same.
I'm oversharing because at this point I'm just calling for help and I really really gotta stop
it's hard but we need to move in silence!
Loved this video! I definitely am an over sharer. I have had such mistakes in the past and i keep learning. ❤️ Could you please make a video about how to stop being a people pleaser and how to have better self esteem.
I have a big Slavic family and everyone knows everyone’s drama and there’s not a topic they haven’t discussed:/
i love this video. You’re extremely vise. thank you so much for sharing
Thank you💕!
Great points. My only question is if you could follow up on issues women deal with (more than is generally known imho), such as infertility, gender inequality, and the like. Obviously these are not dinner table or party topics, and the news can make such things a circus, but how can we best be advocates for these issues?
Imagine a friend dying inside while talking to u daily n not being able to vent coz she will be seen as over-sharing. No wonder people slip into depression, we push them without even realising it. When someone opens their heart to, I take it that s/he trusts me coz it ain't easy to be vulnerable and I listen and give advice where I can.
Today I told a girl about my personal life. And I am regretting it now. I never share anyone anything about my personal life. This time I was overwhelmed and disturbed because of some personal reasons. And I maybe did this to lessen my heart. But still I shouldn't have told my about my personal life to someone who is just my classmate. What should I do now??? Plz tell me 😭😭😭
Wow I've been telling my friend's all these years this very thing .thank you
This video shows a lot of red flags I watch for in other people! I need to make sure I don’t accidentally do it either 😂
Thanks for this video, I really needed this. I just discovered your channel! You are so gorgeous!! 💕🌸
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed this video. And welcome to our little level up community 💕💕.
How do you have a good balance of being vulnerable but don't overshare (too much)?
Lord there are so many women who overshare out here.
Here after sharing my love story with my coworkers lol
All true 🌹
I am having a problem with a coworker who is oversharing and I just realized that this is what she is doing. She has no filter and no topic is off limit. I don't know how to respond half the time and didn't set up boundaries in the beginning and now she thinks we are friends but I find it weird that she shares things with me that I would think she should be sharing with her closest friends or family. For example, she tells me things that seem to be her problems or things out of the blue. I am wondering if it is too late to set boundaries because I want her to stop coming to me for these things. I am not there to be her therapist or to make her feel better. I am only a coworker. This past weekend, she invited me to go to a strip club which I declined but you can bet that when I go to work, she will share what happened (#oversharing). I have tried to look it up online and one example is to steer them towards your lunch or after work but I don't want to share my lunch with her or talk to her after work. #stuck
I overshare because I get nervous and have a hard time reading peoples faces.
great content ❤️❤️
How does it matter when they can already read your thoughts?
Great advice!!
Thank you✨✨
this is why i dont want to have friends...It's difficult. i shared with my older friend yesterday and I feel so sensitive now... she is my god mother but still, i feel ridiculous.
SO FUCKING HELPFUL. Thank you
Pls do a video what topics we should tallk about it
This is very true
i finally found my people.
Good video.
Basically, craft who you want people to think you are because people don't to know the truth about you. They will judge you for being human, living a human existence with mistakes and that will make them uncomfortable.
People want you to be an extension of their imagination, then they will be comfortable with you and not get mindfucked when you do or think something they disagree with.
No one in this life will EVER truly meet another person. That is why most everyone is lonely and focused on looks and image. The discomfort of reality is too much for everyone.
Ok
❤️❤️
They don’t forget, they change to the stank face
I constantly overshare and it causes me to hate myself afterwards. I sometimes wish i could stop talking all together
This is something more ladies struggle with, so I would like to make more video that can help with this. For now following the tips in this video should help you. You can do this, much love Urania ♥️
@@Myfemmedaily it has helped so much in the past few days. Tysm
@@Myfemmedaily please do 🙏 I think your correct in saying about people can over share if it’s normal in their families. As my family is like that, we are comfortable talking about almost everything and maybe it’s due to this. Every time I drink I over share SOOO MUCH and I think it’s extremely off putting for people. Especially what I over share (the level up and feminity etc as it’s what I’m super passionate about) but it’s not good. I feel regret, embarrassment etc afterwards as I could make great connections potentially but this ruins it 😔
Me too 🤦🏽♀️
Sameee
I've been learning not to overshare when it comes to conversations that are in person. When it comes to social media, I don't post anything personal 99% of the time. I have coworkers that overshare. When they speak, I listen then act accordingly.
Keep it that way . It’s very wise to act in this manner
@@Fay_F_2 Thank you.
how did you learn to not overshare in person. also i mean this as a genuine question so mb if it comes off wrong- but by making that comment right here, is that not you oversharing rn meaning have u really stopped?
@@sarasshenanigans I learnt from observing that some individuals do not care and it is best not to over share because it can be used against you.
I just told a friend one of my darkest secrets, I love her and I trust her. But I think that was too much and now I'm embarrassed.
Don't think much about it. We've all been there. Just try not to do it again, since you regret such things.
I think it's ok if she is already your close friend. Sometimes we need to share things and that is not over sharing. Don't feel bad now. But if makes you feel uncomfortable, just be aware the next time and remember this video.
Try to focus on what is the need to share, if is for advice or just heal something you went through. And take action by yourself on how to manage those feelings.
Good luck 🤗💌
@@sajkdnsaklfhnj It was ok, it did stress me out but they didn't change their attitude towards me
When you tell someone your secret is no longer a secret.
Same and I kinda feel stressed abt it now
I never over share, even to my closest friends.
“Never let them know too much” is my motto.
I agree !!!!!
Wow! How do you do that? Is so hard for me not to open up too much? Do u have some tips for me?
Sounds lonely if you’re not allowing yourself to be vulnerable even with your closest friends, unless even your closest friends aren’t that close.
@@emabella1000 IF THIS IS A WOMAN, THEN THATS JUST IN YAL FEMALE NATURE, IF THIS IS A MAN IVE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY
Sounds like trust issues
Oversharing is overwhelming almost always. Especially for the person who has to hear somebody oversharing when they barley knoe each other
That true!
True! It makes things awkward.
A current potential mentioned a while ago how I don’t share anything on social media.
He found it so attractive.
Ladies, keep them guessing! 😌
Exactly, keep that mystery ♥️!
Touché! 😊
A male friend said something similar that to me recently. He also added that I am reserved.
I just giggled 🤭
That's so interesting! Reading your experience made me think that I find it very charming when a man is discrete. It seems to me that rather than being shy and insecure as some people might assume, he actually knows his value and keep himself to be appreciated only by worthy people.
I think there is a more tactful and kinder way of reprimanding someone for oversharing. People overshare because they are operating from a space of insecurity or a need to connect or soothe a sad feeling; which IS NOT A BAD THING. Rather than say "you're making me uncomfortable" you can say "you know its interesting that you're so open considering we've only known each other a short time, perhaps we should hold those kind of conversations for when we've known each other more? I like to pace myself when getting to learn someone new". Simple. That way you've stated your boundary without filling them with shame.
This is a perfect outlook .
I know this is mostly ladies’ channel but I am a male and I think your advices apply to literally anyone regardless of their gender. I take advices from you and I wanna thank you for giving out such good advices. You rock!
Yeah I’m a male too and this video was incredibly helpful and informative. It’s especially embarrassing when I say too much sometimes because as a male it tends to come off a lot more weird and people usually won’t just assume we’re friendly or honest/open like some people asume of women when they over share. For us the effects are more self-sabotaging so I’m super glad I found this video she really said everything I needed to hear.
Same here. Some advice is just human
Over sharing is often a trauma response. In childhood some children couldn’t express themselves and were not listened to hence the over sharing now. It’s not your fault. It’s a trauma response. Healing is possible. ❤
I tend to either be a locked vault 🔒and not be vulnerable at all, or to overshare too much and spill my secrets. I’m not sure why I sway to each extreme , trying to find balance.
I'm the same way. What gives?
Me too
Same!
Same here and I’m not sure why. I think I might have to do with if it’s a date or even just a person I really like platonically early on I will share too much. That said, with most people such as coworkers, and even dates that I’m not feeling or acquaintances, I’m pretty vague and even told I was mysterious or closed off. I think the longing for a connection is the reason we Overshare.
SAME. I go in full lockdown, and mind my own like crazy, and sometimes back off from discussing myself. Other times I get super excited and hyperjust about the truth of life, and want to share and discuss, cause ...whats so secretive? It sucks cause then I realize maybe it was too much. I'm wondering why this happens too, I think I just need to remind myself to stick to my own boundaries and not spill over like crazy.
I’ve been working VERY hard to reduce my oversharing tendency. It runs in the family.
Beautiful tips from a beautiful lady! :)
Agreed! 💜
Thank you dear ♥️😊
@@Myfemmedaily Urania, keep going with the videos :)
She’s gorgeous isn’t she 😍😍
These were great tips. I’m going to use the “I’m sorry that happened to you.”. I have an over sharing coworker.
I also have an over sharing coworker ! I will be using this reply!
I don’t share a lot. I noticed when people ask me things I feel uncomfortable because it’s too personal.
I feel like I have to answer even when I’m uncomfortable because I don’t know what else to say :/
Same! I automatically shut down.
Same here I feel uncomfortable if they ask too many things and I feel my private stuff is my private stuff sorry . I know some ppl get offended but at the same time they need to respect boundaries
this. it’s impossible because you don’t want to lie about it either, but they don’t have the right to intrude like that.
My mum always tells me to be more private do I listen? No!! I am such an open, friendly and warm person, I just can’t help it at times, I need to share less about myself indeed. I need to create more mystery. Lord help us. 🙏🏽😊💕
Indeed may God redeem us.I feel guilty right now
I feel big shame after oversharing. I recognise that I overshare, when I don’t feel comfortable or don’t feel seen and understood right.
Being around people who make you feel safe and calm is key
I sometimes overshare especially with friends who are very curious and enjoy asking everything, then I feel uncomfortable with myself because it's my life and the details aren't people's business. I need to be more careful about it.
My friend is my boss, meaning we were friends before she became my boss. I overshared some feelings about my work and she came back and used it against me. You can’t trust anyone.
I’m always telling people even when I just met them everything that happens in my life and they used that to hurt me but I just never learn
I’m sorry to hear that! But we live and we learn. You know better now🌸💕.
i do this too hheehehehehehe
Dont try to be the one leading the convo just sush and giggle along with them and rethink the convo when ur at home lol. It would help you alot and dont give too much of your real opinion.
John 3:16 " for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"....Jesus loves you and would want to see you spend eternity with Him, repent and turn away from sin and believe in the gospel. Jesus is coming soon.
U've just called me out. I'm struggling with over-sharing... I'm desperate to stop it, it's so embarrassing. I tend to give too much information and ...aysh😥😣
This hits home!! I am guilty of oversharing! I do not feel bad about it. like you say in your video, to me it is normal. And yes it does create closeness, you would be surprised how many people share things they've never shared with others... and we do create rapidly a bond... to me keeping walls up comes from fear... Why fear that someone could get close? I will though keep your video in mind.
i really need to work on how to keep my mouth shut 😭😭😭😭
I over share alot because I've lost my boundaries, I have some people in my life that would pry and try to get information from me and if I didn't tell them they would restrict things from me. So If I say "I'm not comfortable sharing that information" the would say " Okay then I just won't do........" or " Then youre not allowed to....." I also over share because there are many times where people won't take me serious, so I have to disclose personal information for them to get whats going on. Another reason I overshare is so that people will feel comfortable with me and know that they can come and talk to me about anything because in my family we don't talk about those kinds of serious issues. But recently I can't stop oversharing, its like it spills out of me and I can't shut up. So I really need to learn how to set up those boundaries again and learn to be quiet.
"why am I sharing this information with this specific person:
Do I want to impress this person?
Am I feeling anxious?
Do I want attention?"
These are one million questions for oneself before start talking.... I will add the following:
Do I want to feel myself important?
Do I want to feel empathic?
Do I want sympathy and try to create a connection?
Lets remember that" the ears of today will be the tongues of tomorrow"... I hope you can get the message of this quote, I am not english speaker, but this means that people who listens today will be the ones who spread the word tomorrow.
Bt if ur depressed or sad and not able to find a solution. I think opening up is the best thing. It's bad. Bt there is chance people may help u in these situations.
I quickly learned in my workplace that if my coworkers are willing to spread gossip and trash talk others, they’re willing to do the same to me. I can’t necessarily control them gossiping about me but I can control giving them reasons to by not over sharing my life or feelings about others.
Thank you for this! I never realized how my over sharing came across to the others. I needed this!
Looking elegant as always💕 Btw love your top where is it from ??😍
Thank you dear♥️. My top is from H&M, I got it a while back so I hope you can still find it.
I used to be quite but nowadays I noticed that I'm talking to much ☹️
I want to change it.
Sometimes I over share, it’s so embarrassing 🙈😾
I only over share with my partner. There's no point in staying "too mysterious" in established, intimate relationship.
I just did a stupid. I shared with a group of people that share the same hobby that I do. It was about someone posting something for sale and I jokingly commented that I "spent all my sand dollars for the month" I saw others making similar comments about a previous sale. It's common because it's an expensive hobby. So I thought it was ok. But now I just feel crap because I feel like I misread things.
If someone is sharing information of a sensitive and/or a personal nature and you "change the subject," especially to the weather, or tell them you're "uncomfortable" with the deepness of their sharing, you will most likely embarrass and insult them and lose any chance of a friendship with that person. Be careful with someone else's feelings. Always be kind.
I’ve recently come to terms with this and it’s been very hard for some reason, even though I have faults that are so much worse than this one, this negative quality is the absolute most shameful one of all. I also struggle with loneliness so I recognize it as a coping mechanism. Thank you for this video! Thank you for helping me take a step in the right direction towards self-improvement.
I used to overshare a lot with people who I thought were safe to open up to and I learned my lesson the hard way to never do that again. From now on I only open up to people who I've been extremely close friends with for many years, and a few family members.
I don't mind when people overshare with me, though. It shows that I give a trustworthy vibe and I'm pretty open minded.
Such a perfect video ! Just what I needed- I now know how to respond to these people. Thank you.
I'm always over sharing and then regreting it after.. I'm trying so hard to not be an oversharer but it's so hard
Very good instructions on how to keep one’s mouth shut. Don’t let people into your world that easy. I had to learn the hard way.
In my family, I wasn't allowed to tell anything about my family to anyone outside it. For example, I often got chewed out for just going to school and talking about how we got a new puppy. So because I always felt I could never tell anyone anything, I started telling everyone everything
Same here. No im trying to unlearn that habit
What a great channel! Can't believe I only just found you today! Wonderful advice.. and great aesthetics. Where is your accent from? I love it! Sooo elegant, love the flowers and the white background
lol i was just feeling this way! Needed this!
* You might make others feel uncomfortable. * Low boundaries; low self-esteem
I overshare as I a) have no filter and b) never learned social cues. It sucks, and sometimes I say something that is embarrassing to either myself or someone else. I do know part of it is I was raised by narcissists and have a family where if there's a conversation I can contribute too they spoke over me, I wait until there's a break in the flow and the minute I say four words someone talks over me, usually my mom. She is very talkative and doesn't realize it other. What sucks is I tend not to discuss personal topics, and meanwhile my family does it. I try not to do it, and they do it all the time to the point everyone at my church knew every little thing about my disability.
I do hope to take the key takeaways from this video, and improve upon myself.
Love your content ❤️
Plssss i feell soo regrettt 😭😭😭 i was overshareddd to my bestiee 😭😭 whyyyyyy 😭😭 now i feel bad abt myself 😭😭
Don't, u needed to take it out of ur chest or fall into depression. What are friends for if one can't open up? Then those friendships are fake in my view. No wonder people commit suicide coz society don't want to be bothered by just lending an ear. U don't have to come up with solutions if u can't, a hug can make a huge difference.
Also the "Vents go to other rooms" thing. Like you said, once you tell someone something you can never take it back. You can never be sure who they'll tell about it. Most people say they won't tell anyone, but those same people either have a best friend, a significant other, or other people in general that will probably get word of it. Seriously, think before you speak and share.
Perfect i have all the ,, quality’s” of an overshare person😂🤦🏽♀️
On the contrary, do you think not sharing things can be harmful? Let's say you have your partner and you cannot bring yourself to speak about a traumatic event or something you are really ashamed of, e.g. you had an abortion in the past and you know found out that your partner is not a fan of abortions. Tell him or not?
Thanks for sharing this I'm am definitely shutting up my mouth. Not sharing too much. This is great information... TIME TO SET STRONG BOUNDARIES.
i have been seeing these kind of videos more lately, I don't overshare but i feel we all should have 1-2 people with whom we can share anything without feeling guilty , for me one of them is my mom... but i have few close friends and often in dilemma to share a particular thing or not...they also really nice though and i think we need to have someone with whom we can pour our heart out
I didn't even overshared but i shared and now i feel superrr anxious.
I am the same like have I overshared!!?