Oh yeah I grew up in SA and he really isn't exaggerating. Those suckers will fly at you to hit you. The worst is when they land ON you or God Forbid fly down the back collar of your shirt.
@christianoliver3572 that happened to me a few times. I never naked so dam quick. . One time I stopped dropped and rolled my way into a pond. It didn't work
When we moved to Texas many years ago, someone told me, "Don't ever kill one of those roaches, because all his friends will come to the funeral." Texas Monthly magazine compared them to '58 Buicks.
@Kresanikelfe I've lived in Dallas for 27 years and heard about flying roaches. I've never seen one, but after this I'm having second thoughts about visiting San Antonio. If I do I'mma tape a lighter to my Raid and Zevo cans as ammunition.
What Gabriel saw was likely an American Cockroach, which are actually native to Africa. But they grow huge in hot climates. As someone who lives in south Texas, I can honestly say that this story is 100% accurate. It takes more than just one shoe smash to kill one; you need to at least smash it to the ground and make sure it's crushed so badly that it breaks into pieces. Legit that is the only way to kill them with a shoe. (BTW, the tiny ones he mentioned were likely German cockroaches)
@@the_jill3000 I'm guessing you're talking about the Madagascan Hissing Cockroach. Not possible. Any roach native to Madagascar would never infest or invade the US with any proficiency. On top of that, Madagascan Hissing Cockroaches don't have wings and therefore cannot fly. The American Cockroach has wings and can fly for short distances. Of the 4600+ species of cockroach on this planet, less than 1% are considered pests; about 30 species. And even then, only 4 are a major problem: the American Cockroach, the German Cockroach, the Brown Banded Cockroach and the Oriental Cockroach. Other roach species wouldn't last long in an environment outside of their native habitat. I know all of this because I have a colony of Dubia Cockroaches and I did this research before getting them. My reason for having them is to feed my Bearded Dragon, Lyrica. I need to keep those roaches warm or else they won't breed and some may even die. If they ever get out, which they sometimes do when I clean their bins, I will find them dead on the floor less than a week later. They can't climb smooth surfaces; they can't even climb those slightly bumpy white walls that most houses have. Inside those bins where it's warm, humid and I give them fruits and veggies regularly, they breed like rabbits. Outside the bins, they'll die either from the cold or from thirst. There are several other reasons I could mention as to why the vast majority of cockroach species would never be found in even the warmest places in the US but I feel like this comment is getting too long. If you want to know more, you can surf the web for more info. I suggest you do, some of the info is fascinating. At least look up these roach species: Domino Cockroach, Ivory Cockroach, Giant Cave Cockroach, Green Banana Cockroach, Giant Burrowing Cockroach, Ellipsidion humerale(bush cockroach), Mitchell's Diurnal Cockroach(sometimes called the Mardi Gras cockroach)
@silverdragoneyes4828 thank you for the information. It’s cool you have a bearded dragon!! I love animals, so I think it’s fascinating to have an exotic animal as a pet. 😊
Nothing clears a room faster than a flying roach. 😂 This is 100% truth. Had a coworker once stomp one of those 5 times. Each time he picked up his foot it would be alive and keep running
It may not work for these Texas roaches, but my mom in Arizona had crickets galore. She used hairspray to stun them and slow them down. Then she could crush them into their afterlife. Gabriel, get yourself some AquaNet and deal with these critters like a 70-year old woman! My mom would be proud!
Hairspray won't do anything but make it run. The big ones, they don't even hardly feel it. It's just a breeze to them and they'll scuttle out of the way. Then, you spend the rest of the night jumpy because you know it's still there somewhere.
The 2 main roach breeds are the Tejano (aka Texan) and the Deutsche (aka German). They're huge, they're chill, and when provoked, they FLY. 🪳 ✈️ I've had a few of them outside my place, luckily, the TEJANO TRAP DOOR SPIDERS keep them outside. The Tejano Trap Door Spiders have occasionally hitched rides on me in order to attack their Tejano Cockroach prey by using ME as a launch platform... 🪽 🕷️
Lived in New Orleans for several years, I was born and raised in CALI like you! YES I get what you mean by the differences between the two! The Southern Roaches look like the fake rubber ones, but they are REAL and the same size! They are not afraid of you - and they do fly and when they land on you or fly at you - IT'S PERSONAL! Every man is bad ass until the roach flys!
I love Gabriel's perception of roaches, and if he only opened a kitchen drawer in the middle of the nigh while in Texas, he would have had even more jokes to tell us😝😝😊
San Antonio cockroaches ain't no joke. I seen my first one my first day in Air Force Basic Training. It was big enough to put a saddle and ride on it. 😂 We use to give ours Officer ranks. 1 lieutenant (O2) and Majors (O3) were pretty big, but you didn't want to come across a Full Bird Colonel (O5) or a 1 Star General (O6)! 😂😂😂
😂😂 texas roaches must be related to Puerto Rican roaches. My sweet Irish husband chased one with a hammer. It just flew around the room laughing at him. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lifelong Texan here. We sometimes call them palmetto bugs or tree roaches. They’re my biggest phobia. You think that you’ve pounded one into its component atoms only to come back to find that it’s moved several feet. When I was little I watched my dad kill one with firecrackers in a coke can. It took at least four before it stopped moving. Luckily a little borax dusted along base boards will take them out. My cats think that they are fun!
When I first moved to Texas, I came across my first Texas roach. I thought I had found a prehistoric dinosaur bug or it was a mutant new species. I captured and killed it and saved it for my girlfriend to show her when she came home. I was so excited and proud and wanted to tell her that we needed to call scientists or something. But she grew up in Texas, so she new what it was. When she got home, from work, she just laughed at me and said, "That's a tree roach, idiot, they are very common here"
"Todo mundo es valiente ... hasta que la cucaracha vuela" , is a very common saying in Mexico. We also have the big-ass ones, particularly in the south.
I know the feeling exactly. The Pine Roaches in Augusta GA are huge and no one told me they could fly. I learned that fun fact one morning while getting ready to go to the medical school. I had my ACME electrocution fly swatter charged and ready but the roach must have heard it coming! I swung at in flight while ducking and missed. I switched to hair spray. They can't fly with sticky wings, but they can catch fire! ⚡️⚡️
I'm sorry you sprayed hair spray on a roach and instead of just squishing it You hit it with an electric fly swatter that seems really stupid to do granite that could just be me
Having lived in Georgia before moving to Texas I wasn't surprised by the size of the roaches, or their flying abilities, but when I first moved to Texas I was riding a moped out in broad daylight, and this huge roach just flew up and landed right on my my chest.
As a texton I think this is my favorite story hes ever told cause at the start of the story, we know what's about to happen. And there is no greater satisfaction my soul has ever felt in this world then when he got to the end and every single California in dodger's stadium felt the fear of God.
I've heard a lot of stories about Texas roaches, so I've known for years that they fly, despite never seeing one (and I have no desire to change that). So, when he got to the end, pausing when the chick pulled her shoe back for a second time, I knew what he was about to say and just started laughing. XD
What I like about Gabriel is the jokes he tells is about real life experiences that's what makes him top notch unlike most comedians who just ramble on different things
First time I saw a cockroach, it was one like that, the size of a mouse and could fly too. It was in Egypt and I was informed that this type of roach that can fly is called an American cockroach. Now I find out they're from Texas... where everything's bigger.
@innervoiceawakening5259 Yeah when I started living in Dallas as a kid, between the roaches, spiders, mosquitoes,and birds I would ocassionally think:"Man, they aren't kidding when they say 'everything's bigger in Texas."
its been decades since i lived in Pasadena, Texas, but I can Still vividly remember the sound of their blacked wings taking flying straight into my ceiling fan late at night. Truly horrifying.
I lived much of my childhood in San Antonio and can attest that those roaches are indeed big and do fly! My family moved to Florida, where the roaches are big and fly too!! Guess the more things change, the more they stay the same!
Speaking as a native floridian, i feel his pain. I was never informed. Found out the hard way at around 8 when i had one smack into the side of my head and get stuck in my hair.
I lived in Florida all my life. The Palmetto Bugs always scare me. I moved to Massachusetts last year with my friend and it's people in Mass call Florida "Jurassic Park" cause all the bugs are huge. 😂
Piece of advice I got while living in Texas for about a year: If you're looking to buy or rent a house/apartment, *_steer clear of any place that has palm trees really close to the yard._* Palm trees apparently make for a perfect cockroach nest. This is actually why those big fuckers that Gabriel had to deal with are also called PALMetto bugs. They live at the base of the palm trees mainly, but will climb up to the top of the tree to get into the higher floors of your house.
Lmao, this joke reminded of that time me and my friends were drinking at a house in the Philippines. It was a small house, and it was an even smaller living room. In the middle of getting wasted with beer, a cockroach just suddenly crawls up unto the table where we're all gathered, and we all just look at it, telling the nearest person to squish it. Suddenly it JUST FLEW up into ceiling, then it started flying in everybody's faces. Maaaan, everybody ran outside like there was fire in the house lmao, one friend even jumped out the window hahahaha.
Many years ago we had family visiting from Illinois. One night my cousin walks into my room and let's out this blood curdling scream, that I literally felt my heart jump out of my body. I ran to see what was up and she's screaming under the bed and pointing out and screaming look behind you on the wall. I turn and it's a roach. I tell her, it's just a roach. It's huge she said, I tell her it Texas size. Everytime we get together she brings up this story.
😊I only went to Texas once. Was staying at a Hotel. One evening as I walked out the front door, there was a huge bug, so I took my foot and kicked off to the side and said that must be a beetle. A lady standing outside said “that’s not a beetle, that’s a cockroach, you’re in Texas now Honey!” I still tell that story, never saw a beetle or cockroach that big, lol
As a Texan i can confirm that roaches (at least from the western side of Texas) are absolutely massive. And theyre hardy little buggers too, you have to be over 200 lbs and put your FULL WEIGHT onto one to ensure that its 100% dead, and otherwise its never guaranteed
@varuhash50 Yeah when you smash a Texas roach you've gotta put some weight or force behind it. Especially with the big ones, because unless I've got bug spray those things seem indestructible.
Used to live on South Padre. Went to the kitchen one night, and flipped on the light switch and hundreds of roaches just stopped. I turned off the light and went back to bed
Fun story from basic training involving these roaches. I'm getting ready to hit the showers, and one of the other guys comes screaming out of the bench area. Me and a couple other dudes watch that... look in... and there's a roach... just chillin' next to where this guy put his shaving kit. That roach was chill, and we were laughing because this dude was one of the most no-nonsense Pvts in the platoon... and here he is scared to death by a roach barely an inch long.
I was in Basic Training in San Antonio. I'm originally from Brooklyn, so I was thoroughly indoctrinated on roaches. I went into a broom closet and it was covered with roaches. Then they started to FLY!
As a Texan I can confirm that cockroaches are freaking big Last night I it was 1 in the morning I was taking a break from finishing some stuff and I used the restroom I see on the floor the roach was about 3 freaking inches!
It was a Palmetto Bug!!! 🤣😂🤣 I spent 24 years living in Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, & Missouri then I moved down here to Alabama & met my first one, I almost had a heart attack! They will fly right at you too, they aren't afraid of $hit!!! 🤣😂🤣
I've only seen cockroaches on TV or in movies And I had absolutely no idea that they could fly. I'm going to show this video to people who tell me they're moving to Texas.😂
Good. Warn them. Then tell them, look, there's nothing down there but a land that's climate changing into desert, which will make the roaches bigger, and a population of mostly religious nutcases. The roaches aren't so bad once you get to know them, though.
Gabriel Benvenidas to San Antonio. I was stationed in SA in the 1970's and my wife who is petrified of anything with more than two legs that can't be petted or walked on a leash, found out about the unusual flora and fauna of SA the hard way. First were the huge cockroaches which some natives passed off as "waterbugs". Waterbugs my ass, they were big enough to be painted green and parked on the tarmac at Kelly AFB. Then there was the scorpions. We found one crawling, perfectly camoflaged in our gold shag carpeting, that came with the house we bought. It left with the carpet installers as soon as we could afford wall to wall woven carpet in the living room. Next came the gekoes. Harmless little creatures with feet that can glue themselves to the walls and ceilings once in the house, as my wife found out one evening when she was sharing a bath and some parent child time with our one year old. Suddenly I heard a blood curdling scream and something charged out of the bathroom--something I had never experienced before. It had four arms and four legs. It was covered in suds. And it was screaming at the top of its lungs that there was something even WORSE lurking in the bathroom. What could be worse than a naked,red eyed, screaming, shiverring four armed and four legged creature ? I had to find out or the creature threatened to KILL me. So I went into the bathroom and there among the suds and baby toys I found a gecko swimming for his life in our tub! He had fallen from the ceiling onto my wife and into the water. That explained the vision I saw charging from the bathroom. So I reached down with a wash rag and picked him out of the water,wrapping him in the rag until I could take him outside. We also had visits from fire ants but outside only.
I lived in south Texas for about a year, and I have a bit of bug trauma. Long story short; before I moved to Texas there was a time where I had absolutely nowhere to go (abusive family, got kicked out blahblah), and the person who offered me a place to stay waited until all my other friends had left to tell me they had "a little bug problem". Yeah. No. They had a full blown triple infestation of cockroaches, fleas AND bed bugs. That was how I found out *_I'm allergic to bug bites._* If I had stayed longer I would have died of anaphylactic shock, I looked like a human raspberry. So I was not exaggerating when I said big TRAUMA, and though it was the fleas and bed buge that traumatized me, the roaches became traumatic by proxy because they were EVERYWHERE when I was there. So, back to Texas: I moved in with a friend of mine, again I was in dire straits, and he decided to move in with some other folks that he met. I begged him not to the MOMENT I heard they had a roach problem, but it wasn't really my place to try to _make_ him change his mind, so I left it at that. Guys. Gabriel is NOT exaggerating. These fuckers are MASSIVE. Every time I so much as saw one of the smaller ones (because ofc they had two different types of cockroach infestation -_-) I would immediately have a panic attack. But the BIG ONES??? Oh my fucking god. I was inconsolable for over two weeks. It took me a while to get used to them enough to kill them myself. I would whack them with the hard part of a broom (because I wanted these fuckers as far the fuck AWAY FROM ME as possible while killing them), and I would whack em _*__H A R D ._* The fuckers still move. No matter how hard you whack em the first time. Whenever I saw one I had to repeatedly beat the everliving fuck outta them with that broom, you need to smash them TO PIECES because if they are even SLIGHTLY intact they will literally keep going. Now that I know this, it's easier to grasp why they'd be the only things that could survive a nuclear bomb... Horrid little things.
My cat like to play with the big ones. Texas has free cat toys, as far as she's concerned, and it's those big roaches. Just don't mess with the fire ants.
I'm in California, and I found one, or rather my cat did. He was laser focused one something hiding behind the litterbox, so I got a flashlight (which happened to be the big one), to see what it was. He flushed it outta there, and it was a good two inches. I screamed and the flashlight became a weapon. My cat was outraged. Here he had gone to the trouble of finding adequate prey for his Human to hunt, and she barely even tried. Outright killed didn't even try to chase or play with it first. Gave me a piddly ass score of 2/10, and reported me to the Feline World Order.
Omg I really do hope you Make that story into a Animation films. Like you have been doing fluffy about all your stories that would be awesome and hilariously funny.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bruh this dude is so dam funny and hilarious everything he tells or says about stories that happened to him or his friends he likes to change the story up a little bit and his friends get really really mad and angry when fluffy doesn't say the full story that's fkn hilarious and funny
We lived in little town just outside of SA for 6 years. Our first house was fully infested. We walked in one night during our first week living there and there was a roach that one of our mice could have ridden on like a horse. You could see every segment of that monster. My wife had done the dishes earlier and she had laid them out to dry. It was perched atop of one of the cooking pans. It just stared at us like we broke in to his house. After that, for the rest of the time we lived there, we immediately dried the dishes and put them up after washing. There was another time my wife has killed one of the roaches and she went to sit down on the couch. She had only been sitting there for a few minutes and three roaches. Flew out of the curtains and attacked her. Needles to say, we moved as soon as we could.
That is a "put a jar over it and slide a piece of paper between it and the wall, then put it outside". Hitting them only makes them angry or start to fly.
I grew up with those, they suck, I still will scream girly screams when I encounter one by surprise. That said, the Harbor Freight electric bug swatters do quite well at stunning them. Note, "Stunning" once tased, then firmly apply shoe with all the violence. 😂😂😂
I've noticed that it's not just Texas roaches that aren't fazed by being hit by a shoe. Roaches are getting tougher. I'm a big guy (like Gabriel), and in the last ten years, when I would go to step on a roach, it didn't seem hurt at all. So I'd have to step on it two or three times. Not only are they better able to resist bug spray better, they're becoming able to resist physical attacks, too. "Hey, man, can you stomp on me again? My chiropractor is on vacation, and I need my regular adjustments."
As a custodian who works at a Texas school district, I can confirm, everything he said about Texas Roaches are 100% true.
They are TERRIFYING-- especially in the early morning when they haven't gone back to wherever they come from
Oh yeah I grew up in SA and he really isn't exaggerating.
Those suckers will fly at you to hit you.
The worst is when they land ON you or God Forbid fly down the back collar of your shirt.
@christianoliver3572 that happened to me a few times. I never naked so dam quick. . One time I stopped dropped and rolled my way into a pond. It didn't work
When we moved to Texas many years ago, someone told me, "Don't ever kill one of those roaches, because all his friends will come to the funeral." Texas Monthly magazine compared them to '58 Buicks.
Mexican roaches
Cali roaches
Texas roaches
German roaches
As soon as the roach starts flying, it’s every man for himself
Around here we get out the anti-aircraft guns!
You throw the nearest object or person at it!
I'm grown ass man and I do kill roaches regularly, but once they start to fly, I'm outta there so fast my shadow will look for me.
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
LMAOOO -A Texan
Csrtoonish ah run
Living in Texas all my life I was just WAITING for him to say it started flying lmao. We live with the damn things and we're still terrified of them!
how is that everything is bigger in Texas thing working out :D
@@ToomasTelling
WE'RE AT FALLOUT 4 INTRO LEVELS OF COCKROACHES, WE'LL HOLD EM BACK FOR AS LONG AS WE CAN.
I live in kyle, tx. you're right dude. I hate the bastards, that's why if I see one, it's going bye bye.
@@theraptorcommissar1015 😅🤣😂😅🤣😂
@@MrGrimreaper512 😅🤣😂😅🤣😂
As a native Texan I can confirm that this is 100% true. I was waiting the entire video for him to say that it started flying!
You dont know fear until you see a cockroach start to fly
That is terror right there
😅🤣😂😅🤣😂
How 'bout when they hide in your shoe? I lost it.
Fly TOWARDS YOU*😊
You ever wake up in one peaceful morning and the first thing you see is seeing that "little bastard" chillin' in your chest?
Or the Squadron 101 Roach Unit flying towards you
California roach: **lights turn on** scatter!!!!
Texas roach: **lights turn on** the f*ck you looking at
Roaches throughout the Deep South: "Draw."
Facts. I live in Texas
@@juliahornback2843
Yeah, you've gotta come at a Texas roach with the intent to kill before they scatter.
@kaidenhang908
Yeah you have to come at them with intent otherwise they ain't running.
As a life long Texan, can vouch. Those things can survive nukes and any mothers chancla.
South Carolina here. I recommend a shotgun.
Mama's chancla's never misses!!!
@@JustBob5150 miss or not, they keep moving
La chancla? Noooo mentiroso
You have to basically grind them into a fine powder for them to actually be dead.
Nothing worse than finding out the roaches have Air Force too 😂😂😂😂 when they start flying I start running 😂😂😂
😅🤣😂😅🤣😂
😂😂
@@dickizzinya9085 Against Palmetto Bugs, whose range includes Florida and the Carolinas... Make sure you have *plenty* of ammo!
When they start flying, I start crying😭
I grew up in Texas. What he said is true. Them flying suckers are tuff
Everyone gangsta until the roach starts to fly 😂🤙
@Kresanikelfe
I've lived in Dallas for 27 years and heard about flying roaches. I've never seen one, but after this I'm having second thoughts about visiting San Antonio. If I do I'mma tape a lighter to my Raid and Zevo cans as ammunition.
What Gabriel saw was likely an American Cockroach, which are actually native to Africa. But they grow huge in hot climates. As someone who lives in south Texas, I can honestly say that this story is 100% accurate. It takes more than just one shoe smash to kill one; you need to at least smash it to the ground and make sure it's crushed so badly that it breaks into pieces. Legit that is the only way to kill them with a shoe. (BTW, the tiny ones he mentioned were likely German cockroaches)
the German cockroaches are resistant to spray though, even high grade professional quality spray
@@brichards9293 the spray we use at the school district here in indy, is a neural toxin and kills them, cept the big fuckers in the locker rooms.
I think he’s talking about a Madagascar roach.
@@the_jill3000 I'm guessing you're talking about the Madagascan Hissing Cockroach. Not possible. Any roach native to Madagascar would never infest or invade the US with any proficiency. On top of that, Madagascan Hissing Cockroaches don't have wings and therefore cannot fly. The American Cockroach has wings and can fly for short distances. Of the 4600+ species of cockroach on this planet, less than 1% are considered pests; about 30 species. And even then, only 4 are a major problem: the American Cockroach, the German Cockroach, the Brown Banded Cockroach and the Oriental Cockroach. Other roach species wouldn't last long in an environment outside of their native habitat.
I know all of this because I have a colony of Dubia Cockroaches and I did this research before getting them. My reason for having them is to feed my Bearded Dragon, Lyrica. I need to keep those roaches warm or else they won't breed and some may even die. If they ever get out, which they sometimes do when I clean their bins, I will find them dead on the floor less than a week later. They can't climb smooth surfaces; they can't even climb those slightly bumpy white walls that most houses have. Inside those bins where it's warm, humid and I give them fruits and veggies regularly, they breed like rabbits. Outside the bins, they'll die either from the cold or from thirst. There are several other reasons I could mention as to why the vast majority of cockroach species would never be found in even the warmest places in the US but I feel like this comment is getting too long. If you want to know more, you can surf the web for more info. I suggest you do, some of the info is fascinating. At least look up these roach species: Domino Cockroach, Ivory Cockroach, Giant Cave Cockroach, Green Banana Cockroach, Giant Burrowing Cockroach, Ellipsidion humerale(bush cockroach), Mitchell's Diurnal Cockroach(sometimes called the Mardi Gras cockroach)
@silverdragoneyes4828 thank you for the information. It’s cool you have a bearded dragon!! I love animals, so I think it’s fascinating to have an exotic animal as a pet. 😊
Nothing clears a room faster than a flying roach. 😂
This is 100% truth. Had a coworker once stomp one of those 5 times. Each time he picked up his foot it would be alive and keep running
It may not work for these Texas roaches, but my mom in Arizona had crickets galore. She used hairspray to stun them and slow them down. Then she could crush them into their afterlife. Gabriel, get yourself some AquaNet and deal with these critters like a 70-year old woman! My mom would be proud!
Hairspray won't do anything but make it run. The big ones, they don't even hardly feel it. It's just a breeze to them and they'll scuttle out of the way. Then, you spend the rest of the night jumpy because you know it's still there somewhere.
The 2 main roach breeds are the Tejano (aka Texan) and the Deutsche (aka German). They're huge, they're chill, and when provoked, they FLY. 🪳 ✈️
I've had a few of them outside my place, luckily, the TEJANO TRAP DOOR SPIDERS keep them outside. The Tejano Trap Door Spiders have occasionally hitched rides on me in order to attack their Tejano Cockroach prey by using ME as a launch platform... 🪽 🕷️
they get mad when spray is used
They'll look at the hairspray as a nuisance. It'll just piss them off. That's when you run because they gonna be FLYIN'! AHHHH!!!!😢
he’s one of my favorite comedians ever 😂
He’s my favorite
Mine too. The gift basket story kills me every time.
Lived in New Orleans for several years, I was born and raised in CALI like you! YES I get what you mean by the differences between the two! The Southern Roaches look like the fake rubber ones, but they are REAL and the same size! They are not afraid of you - and they do fly and when they land on you or fly at you - IT'S PERSONAL! Every man is bad ass until the roach flys!
I love Gabriel's perception of roaches, and if he only opened a kitchen drawer in the middle of the nigh while in Texas, he would have had even more jokes to tell us😝😝😊
Kitchen drawer, cabinet, pantry, cupboard...
Good pull out joke I swear
I just love this man! ❤ I love listening to his stories and stuff that happens to him. I could listen all day and night. 😘😘😘
Me, too! He's a master storyteller.
San Antonio cockroaches ain't no joke. I seen my first one my first day in Air Force Basic Training. It was big enough to put a saddle and ride on it. 😂 We use to give ours Officer ranks. 1 lieutenant (O2) and Majors (O3) were pretty big, but you didn't want to come across a Full Bird Colonel (O5) or a 1 Star General (O6)! 😂😂😂
😂😂 texas roaches must be related to Puerto Rican roaches. My sweet Irish husband chased one with a hammer. It just flew around the room laughing at him. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Get him one of those big electric swatters that look like a tennis racket!
Australia Roachs make my skin crawl it's like Pandera over there's and he'll the fk no spider's.
@@OoRo0yeah ⚡️ zap ⚡️ them and they smell tasty while they sizzle!! 😋🪳🍽️🧂🍷
@@OoRo0 THEY DONT DIE FROM THOSE THINGS THAT HAVE EVOLVED THEY HAVE ASENDED
WITH A HAMMER!?😂😂
Lifelong Texan here. We sometimes call them palmetto bugs or tree roaches. They’re my biggest phobia. You think that you’ve pounded one into its component atoms only to come back to find that it’s moved several feet. When I was little I watched my dad kill one with firecrackers in a coke can. It took at least four before it stopped moving. Luckily a little borax dusted along base boards will take them out. My cats think that they are fun!
South Carolina. We call them Palmetto bugs until they take off. Then we call them Skeet.
I'm going to San Antonio in November. I sent this video to my local friend and asked if I should be concerned........She said "YES"
When I first moved to Texas, I came across my first Texas roach. I thought I had found a prehistoric dinosaur bug or it was a mutant new species. I captured and killed it and saved it for my girlfriend to show her when she came home. I was so excited and proud and wanted to tell her that we needed to call scientists or something. But she grew up in Texas, so she new what it was. When she got home, from work, she just laughed at me and said, "That's a tree roach, idiot, they are very common here"
Which was worse? The realization it wasn't a new type of bug or that they were a common thing that you now had to coexist with.
@@RodneyG669both.
"Todo mundo es valiente ... hasta que la cucaracha vuela" , is a very common saying in Mexico. We also have the big-ass ones, particularly in the south.
I know the feeling exactly. The Pine Roaches in Augusta GA are huge and no one told me they could fly. I learned that fun fact one morning while getting ready to go to the medical school. I had my ACME electrocution fly swatter charged and ready but the roach must have heard it coming! I swung at in flight while ducking and missed. I switched to hair spray. They can't fly with sticky wings, but they can catch fire! ⚡️⚡️
I'm sorry you sprayed hair spray on a roach and instead of just squishing it
You hit it with an electric fly swatter that seems really stupid to do granite that could just be me
@Nate Popow they're hard to just squish-- either they escape before you get to it or it doesn't work when you do get it
@@OoRo0 or whenever you step on it, it runs off and then turns around and pulls a gun on you
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THX FOR THE LAUGH!! 😂 ONE TEAR I GOT FROM THIS ONE. FUNNIER THAN GABRIEL!!
@@JohnH20111 yeah 😔
Having lived in Georgia before moving to Texas I wasn't surprised by the size of the roaches, or their flying abilities, but when I first moved to Texas I was riding a moped out in broad daylight, and this huge roach just flew up and landed right on my my chest.
I would have got a heart attack
As a texton I think this is my favorite story hes ever told cause at the start of the story, we know what's about to happen. And there is no greater satisfaction my soul has ever felt in this world then when he got to the end and every single California in dodger's stadium felt the fear of God.
Texton?
I've heard a lot of stories about Texas roaches, so I've known for years that they fly, despite never seeing one (and I have no desire to change that). So, when he got to the end, pausing when the chick pulled her shoe back for a second time, I knew what he was about to say and just started laughing. XD
*Texan
_"You have angered our friend"_
I laughed this whole special but living in Texas all my life, the accuracy had me dead 😂😂
What I like about Gabriel is the jokes he tells is about real life experiences that's what makes him top notch unlike most comedians who just ramble on different things
I went to one of your shows about a year ago and it was amazing! Love your humor Fluffy!
First time I saw a cockroach, it was one like that, the size of a mouse and could fly too. It was in Egypt and I was informed that this type of roach that can fly is called an American cockroach. Now I find out they're from Texas... where everything's bigger.
@innervoiceawakening5259
Yeah when I started living in Dallas as a kid, between the roaches, spiders, mosquitoes,and birds I would ocassionally think:"Man, they aren't kidding when they say 'everything's bigger in Texas."
😂 I once beat one with a boot in Fla. I think it growled.
Awesome,amazing,epic,wow,fun to watch.
Gabriel Iglesias keep up the wonderful work.
its been decades since i lived in Pasadena, Texas, but I can Still vividly remember the sound of their blacked wings taking flying straight into my ceiling fan late at night. Truly horrifying.
I lived much of my childhood in San Antonio and can attest that those roaches are indeed big and do fly! My family moved to Florida, where the roaches are big and fly too!! Guess the more things change, the more they stay the same!
Speaking as a native floridian, i feel his pain. I was never informed. Found out the hard way at around 8 when i had one smack into the side of my head and get stuck in my hair.
I lived in Florida all my life. The Palmetto Bugs always scare me. I moved to Massachusetts last year with my friend and it's people in Mass call Florida "Jurassic Park" cause all the bugs are huge. 😂
@rickyallen7176 and if you notice, the big welcome pillars along the side of the road look suspiciously like the ones from JP.....
Piece of advice I got while living in Texas for about a year: If you're looking to buy or rent a house/apartment, *_steer clear of any place that has palm trees really close to the yard._* Palm trees apparently make for a perfect cockroach nest.
This is actually why those big fuckers that Gabriel had to deal with are also called PALMetto bugs. They live at the base of the palm trees mainly, but will climb up to the top of the tree to get into the higher floors of your house.
Lmao, this joke reminded of that time me and my friends were drinking at a house in the Philippines. It was a small house, and it was an even smaller living room. In the middle of getting wasted with beer, a cockroach just suddenly crawls up unto the table where we're all gathered, and we all just look at it, telling the nearest person to squish it.
Suddenly it JUST FLEW up into ceiling, then it started flying in everybody's faces. Maaaan, everybody ran outside like there was fire in the house lmao, one friend even jumped out the window hahahaha.
Many years ago we had family visiting from Illinois. One night my cousin walks into my room and let's out this blood curdling scream, that I literally felt my heart jump out of my body. I ran to see what was up and she's screaming under the bed and pointing out and screaming look behind you on the wall. I turn and it's a roach. I tell her, it's just a roach. It's huge she said, I tell her it Texas size. Everytime we get together she brings up this story.
We just moved to Tx last year, and last week, I literally had one of these TX roaches come at me! They attack! LOL
Texas roaches and Florida roaches must be cousins 😂
😅🤣😂 I think somebody sent them to North Carolina because I've seen some roaches with wings before and I know that roaches have never had wings here.
South Carolina has these things too - we call 'em "Palmetto Bugs," fitting for The Palmetto State...
I have thought a roach was a hole in the wall... And turned it into a hole in the wall.
😊I only went to Texas once. Was staying at a Hotel. One evening as I walked out the front door, there was a huge bug, so I took my foot and kicked off to the side and said that must be a beetle. A lady standing outside said “that’s not a beetle, that’s a cockroach, you’re in Texas now Honey!” I still tell that story, never saw a beetle or cockroach that big, lol
As a Texan i can confirm that roaches (at least from the western side of Texas) are absolutely massive. And theyre hardy little buggers too, you have to be over 200 lbs and put your FULL WEIGHT onto one to ensure that its 100% dead, and otherwise its never guaranteed
@varuhash50
Yeah when you smash a Texas roach you've gotta put some weight or force behind it. Especially with the big ones, because unless I've got bug spray those things seem indestructible.
You are the best story teller. Thanks. May God bless you.
i know it's going to be awhile, but i cannot wait to see this story animated.
Used to live on South Padre. Went to the kitchen one night, and flipped on the light switch and hundreds of roaches just stopped. I turned off the light and went back to bed
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Roaches: "Hey, hombre, know where we can get some more weed?"
...though that's more like South Carolina, the roaches smoke roach...
That shit started Flying!
4:20 (insert flight of the valkyries here)
On a wall outside a chow hall at Fort Sam Houston were the biggest roaches I'd ever seen. And he wasn't exaggerating!
Say hello to the new recruits!
I thought only in my country we had those big roaches. 🤣🤣Blessings from Nicaragua!
From at least halfway up North America to Central America. I wouldn't be surprised to find them as far south as Argentina!
Fun story from basic training involving these roaches. I'm getting ready to hit the showers, and one of the other guys comes screaming out of the bench area. Me and a couple other dudes watch that... look in... and there's a roach... just chillin' next to where this guy put his shaving kit. That roach was chill, and we were laughing because this dude was one of the most no-nonsense Pvts in the platoon... and here he is scared to death by a roach barely an inch long.
I was in Basic Training in San Antonio. I'm originally from Brooklyn, so I was thoroughly indoctrinated on roaches. I went into a broom closet and it was covered with roaches. Then they started to FLY!
I used to live in Texas, and those damn things used to scare the hell out of me!!
Everybody gangster until a roach starts flying
I really need that laugh!
Much Love Fluffage! 😂😂😂
Same with FLORIDA!!!
Giant Palmetto Bugs that FLY!!! 😂😂😂
Now I see why Texans love their guns
even the baddest gangsta turns gay when the roach starts flying.
LOL that's a wood roach, we had those in TN. Made my then BF scream "IT'S GONNA EAT ME!!" in octaves normally heard by dogs 🤣
You might want to pass on Florida, too. I've lived there and Texas...the roaches will square up on you in both places and say "you got a problem?"
Watching this live at Dodgers Stadium I almost fell of the chair 😂😂. Few times…😂😂
As a Texan I can confirm that cockroaches are freaking big Last night I it was 1 in the morning I was taking a break from finishing some stuff and I used the restroom I see on the floor the roach was about 3 freaking inches!
It was a Palmetto Bug!!! 🤣😂🤣 I spent 24 years living in Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, & Missouri then I moved down here to Alabama & met my first one, I almost had a heart attack! They will fly right at you too, they aren't afraid of $hit!!! 🤣😂🤣
Roaches are the devil's little ninjas
I've only seen cockroaches on TV or in movies And I had absolutely no idea that they could fly. I'm going to show this video to people who tell me they're moving to Texas.😂
Good. Warn them.
Then tell them, look, there's nothing down there but a land that's climate changing into desert, which will make the roaches bigger, and a population of mostly religious nutcases.
The roaches aren't so bad once you get to know them, though.
That was just a Pine Roach. They are harmless, but yes they are very big, and they fly. My cats love when one gets in the house....a new play thing.
Long time ago, my parents were hesitant to have their house sprayed for pests... because their cat ate the roaches!
Gabriel Benvenidas to San Antonio. I was stationed in SA in the 1970's and my wife who is petrified of anything with more than two legs that can't be petted or walked on a leash, found out about the unusual flora and fauna of SA the hard way. First were the huge cockroaches which some natives passed off as "waterbugs". Waterbugs my ass, they were big enough to be painted green and parked on the tarmac at Kelly AFB. Then there was the scorpions. We found one crawling, perfectly camoflaged in our gold shag carpeting, that came with the house we bought. It left with the carpet installers as soon as we could afford wall to wall woven carpet in the living room. Next came the gekoes. Harmless little creatures with feet that can glue themselves to the walls and ceilings once in the house, as my wife found out one evening when she was sharing a bath and some parent child time with our one year old. Suddenly I heard a blood curdling scream and something charged out of the bathroom--something I had never experienced before. It had four arms and four legs. It was covered in suds. And it was screaming at the top of its lungs that there was something even WORSE lurking in the bathroom. What could be worse than a naked,red eyed, screaming, shiverring four armed and four legged creature ? I had to find out or the creature threatened to KILL me. So I went into the bathroom and there among the suds and baby toys I found a gecko swimming for his life in our tub! He had fallen from the ceiling onto my wife and into the water. That explained the vision I saw charging from the bathroom. So I reached down with a wash rag and picked him out of the water,wrapping him in the rag until I could take him outside. We also had visits from fire ants but outside only.
😂😂😂😂😂 we have palmetto bugs here in GA that fly. They are terrifying!!!!!
😂😂😂😂 so true, Texan here. I still squeal when they take off and fly.
I lived in south Texas for about a year, and I have a bit of bug trauma. Long story short; before I moved to Texas there was a time where I had absolutely nowhere to go (abusive family, got kicked out blahblah), and the person who offered me a place to stay waited until all my other friends had left to tell me they had "a little bug problem". Yeah. No. They had a full blown triple infestation of cockroaches, fleas AND bed bugs.
That was how I found out *_I'm allergic to bug bites._* If I had stayed longer I would have died of anaphylactic shock, I looked like a human raspberry. So I was not exaggerating when I said big TRAUMA, and though it was the fleas and bed buge that traumatized me, the roaches became traumatic by proxy because they were EVERYWHERE when I was there.
So, back to Texas: I moved in with a friend of mine, again I was in dire straits, and he decided to move in with some other folks that he met. I begged him not to the MOMENT I heard they had a roach problem, but it wasn't really my place to try to _make_ him change his mind, so I left it at that.
Guys. Gabriel is NOT exaggerating. These fuckers are MASSIVE. Every time I so much as saw one of the smaller ones (because ofc they had two different types of cockroach infestation -_-) I would immediately have a panic attack. But the BIG ONES??? Oh my fucking god. I was inconsolable for over two weeks. It took me a while to get used to them enough to kill them myself. I would whack them with the hard part of a broom (because I wanted these fuckers as far the fuck AWAY FROM ME as possible while killing them), and I would whack em _*__H A R D ._*
The fuckers still move. No matter how hard you whack em the first time. Whenever I saw one I had to repeatedly beat the everliving fuck outta them with that broom, you need to smash them TO PIECES because if they are even SLIGHTLY intact they will literally keep going. Now that I know this, it's easier to grasp why they'd be the only things that could survive a nuclear bomb... Horrid little things.
My cat like to play with the big ones. Texas has free cat toys, as far as she's concerned, and it's those big roaches.
Just don't mess with the fire ants.
I love gabriel. His inpersonation on texas roach is amazing.
I'm in California, and I found one, or rather my cat did. He was laser focused one something hiding behind the litterbox, so I got a flashlight (which happened to be the big one), to see what it was. He flushed it outta there, and it was a good two inches. I screamed and the flashlight became a weapon.
My cat was outraged. Here he had gone to the trouble of finding adequate prey for his Human to hunt, and she barely even tried. Outright killed didn't even try to chase or play with it first. Gave me a piddly ass score of 2/10, and reported me to the Feline World Order.
Here in Hawaii, we call those flying roaches B52s. 🪳🛩
This absolutely 💯 true I lived in Texas and now Louisiana. Those dam things are big and can fly and don't piss them off they fly right at you.
I lived in Brownsville for 10 years. Never got used to them flying devils!
Omg I really do hope you Make that story into a Animation films. Like you have been doing fluffy about all your stories that would be awesome and hilariously funny.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Texas roaches are no joke. Not only are they huge, they're not scared of anything. They will even jump off the walls at you. Freaking attack roaches
Bruh this dude is so dam funny and hilarious everything he tells or says about stories that happened to him or his friends he likes to change the story up a little bit and his friends get really really mad and angry when fluffy doesn't say the full story that's fkn hilarious and funny
Everybody gangsta until the roach start flying😂😂
We lived in little town just outside of SA for 6 years. Our first house was fully infested. We walked in one night during our first week living there and there was a roach that one of our mice could have ridden on like a horse. You could see every segment of that monster. My wife had done the dishes earlier and she had laid them out to dry. It was perched atop of one of the cooking pans. It just stared at us like we broke in to his house. After that, for the rest of the time we lived there, we immediately dried the dishes and put them up after washing.
There was another time my wife has killed one of the roaches and she went to sit down on the couch. She had only been sitting there for a few minutes and three roaches. Flew out of the curtains and attacked her. Needles to say, we moved as soon as we could.
I can't wait until this particular skit is animated
I'm late, but lol yeah. Welcome to Texas, where roaches are so big, you could put a saddle on 'em boys😂
I wish I could see him live. Hell, I wish I could watch him live here. That would be worth the $10 to watch.
TejanoRoach, I died with that hahaha
That is a "put a jar over it and slide a piece of paper between it and the wall, then put it outside". Hitting them only makes them angry or start to fly.
Flufffffy come back to San Antonio!!! Youre my favorite comedian ever!!! We love you here!! Born raised and live here still!
I grew up with those, they suck, I still will scream girly screams when I encounter one by surprise. That said, the Harbor Freight electric bug swatters do quite well at stunning them. Note, "Stunning" once tased, then firmly apply shoe with all the violence. 😂😂😂
Or a sledgehammer!
Love your work man, any chance you come to Milwaukee anytime soon?
Yessir! Welcome to Texas, my guy. Everything is bigger and badder here bruh!
Thanks for the nightmare fuel, Gabriel!
Our roaches are keeping Austin weird.
Those Texas roaches are crazy.
they’re probably packing a gun as well
I was in North TX in 85. He ain't kidding! Ours used to play poker and ask where their pizza was!😂😂😂😂
I've noticed that it's not just Texas roaches that aren't fazed by being hit by a shoe.
Roaches are getting tougher. I'm a big guy (like Gabriel), and in the last ten years, when I would go to step on a roach, it didn't seem hurt at all. So I'd have to step on it two or three times. Not only are they better able to resist bug spray better, they're becoming able to resist physical attacks, too.
"Hey, man, can you stomp on me again? My chiropractor is on vacation, and I need my regular adjustments."
When roaches start flying it's the scariest shit ever
Florida has a lot of those big-ass Palmetto Bugs, too. They're basically huge cockroaches that fly.
WAAAAT??? ROACHES FLY ???? EW! In UT we had a spider FLY AWAY & I WS DONE! I SPRAYED & SEALED!! AND PRAYED!!! 😂
If Snoop Dogg was there. The story about big roaches would go in a whole different direction.
🤣
You know things are bad when the roaches are smoking too...