Coming from a large Italian family, (nonna from the north, nonno from the south) both were very generous with friends and family. All part of “Bella Figura”, I suppose, but the ones from the south just seemed to go a little bit further with it. Trying to respectfully decline any of their generosity was almost impossible 😂. My dad was born in the USA but carried that mindset strongly and would often do what you mentioned and pay sneakily when we thought he went to use the restaurant restroom. He would never let someone else pay the bill. Several years ago, my family and I returned to the NY/NJ area, where my family settled after coming in through Ellis Island, for my dad’s funeral. As we were checking out of the hotel the receptionist asked how our stay was. I said that under different circumstances it would have been wonderful, and I mentioned the sad reason for our visit. He asked if I had received the invoice under our door and wanted to see it. He tore it up in front of me and said the stay was not going to be billed. As this sunk in I embarrassed myself and broke down right there at the front desk. Even in death that sneaky son of a gun managed to “pay the tab”. Miss him terribly. Anyway, thanks for your excellent videos. I always watch as soon as I can.
Wow that was a touching and heartfelt story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Very true, Italian traits stay with us for a few generations. My dad is this way too.
Excellent video. To explain how important is friendship in Italy: if a friend ask you to come to help him / her at 3 AM, you just go , you do not even ask why. He/she will do the same for you.
I lived in Italy and eventually attended school there. I dressed like an Italian. Italian people always complemented me on my Italian language skills as opposed to the French who throw a fit if you can't speak French.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly È quello che mi è successo in Francia e quello che sento spesso. Degli americani sono fondamentalmente la stessa cosa con l'inglese. Vivo in California e lo vedo sempre. Gli italiani sono molto più simpatici dei francesi e degli americani.
Never happened to me anywhere in France and I only can speak French if my life depends on it. My French teacher in my youth literally scared all ability to learn the language well out of me
"don't worry" is not just an euphemistic way to say that i expect something in return. it's a way to say " i know that if i would need an help you'll help me like i helped you". it' more about troustness and it's the same in all italy
I come from a large Italian community in New Jersey. A lot of the people of Italian descent help each out a lot. There are also people arguing about the check too. My older Italian family members still see us as kids even though we are grown up with kids, and many insist on paying the check. My dad used to loan out my brother and I to the Italian neighbors for shoveling snow, yard work, etc. We made the mistake one time of taking a tip from one of the neighbors that insisted. He was furious at us for accepting the money. He made us return to apologize and give the money back. A lot of these neighbors would keep an eye on us, and the other kids in the neighborhood to make sure we were safe....and behaved. lol.
Interesting story and I totally understand your father. Yeah, that is the advantage of close quarter Italian living. Someone is probably always watching you and if you call for help someone hears you immediately.
When you accept a favor from an italian, you are also strengthing a bond. Between friends it's expected to help each other (friends aren't just people to hang out with). Denying a reasonable favor request can have serious social consequences.
When I first got to Italy, and began going to my son's soccer games, and our friends asked me how I liked soccer. Because I had to attend Marco's games I answered honestly but politely: I don't understand the game, and I often said, That's a lot of running and work for so few points. They always laughed and that was that. I got along great with all our soccer friends. When I left they threw me a surprise going away party.
I agree. while I understand the game because of it's similarity to hockey, I dislike that there are so few goals scored. Few shots on net for that matter.
@@enricacantori2984 Se una persona non è disposta a prescindere ad ascoltare il parere di un altro che magari non è in sintonia con la sua versione del mondo sia che questa persona parla la tua lingua perfettamente ed è cresciuta nella stessa nazione di te figuriamoci quello dello straniero.
Grazie mille David. These are very useful for me since when I move I want to fit it in as much as possible, the only place I will be criticizing is probably the States. I am not coming with the intent of bringing my ideas there so much as integrating. I do love calcio so that will help.
I think that once you lived in a country a significant amount of years you're more than "qualified" to criticize it... It's almost part of our culture. We Italians loveeeeeeee to complain about our country but at the same time, we just love it. It's a love - hate relationship.
I agree with you and I consider myself qualified. True it’s a toxic relationship Italians have with their country. Many realize what they’ve left behind when they go abroad.
As an Italian American (Abbruzze grandparents) Growing up with the drama of who will pay the bill, I assumed this was normal and something expected at the end of a meal. My husband later asked me to stop going through these motions as it was a bit impolite in American culture because he felt if someone offers to treat you, it's a bit insulting to not to show gratitude for the offer. You also give very good advice regarding the expectations that Italians definitely keep tabs on who owes them favors and on dressing to impress. As a young American woman, I realized I was being ignored in Rome by shop keepers etc. if I didn't wear make up and make an effort when I did errands. That certainly isn't the case in the States where you can basically wear your pajamas to a supermarket 😂
Excellent observation and actually, I was thinking about this comment the other day. It is indeed a bit rude in US culture to fight someone when they want to pay the bill for you. Different points of view however, it still makes me uncomfortable to pay when I’m in a battle with someone to pay the check
I am an Indian living in Canada since several years and I just discovered your channel and am actually surprised at the similarities with how it was in India, my goodness. Like how a good majority of this list applies the same even for India. I love how many similarities there are between people in the world. But we never even know because we never communicate with each other.
Hi. Indeed, I love comparing cultures There’s so much we can learn from each other, and despite the fact that the Internet exists, you can only learn so much about a culture
About money for gift: it's usually a thing just between grandparents and grandchildren; in ALL other cases is considered tasteless, a sign that you didn't put any thought or effort into the gift and went for the easier way. The only exception to this rule are wedding gifts, and usually, again, from grandparents, or old uncles/aunts, or if the couple asked for that themselves. Gift giving is a very tricky subject in Italy: you have to find the right balance between "too little" and "too much"; the gift has to LOOK not too expensive (it could sell you like a "show-off" type of person) nor too inexpensive (so you are deemed a "braccino corto" = "short little arm" = stingy). Be aware: it's a matter of LOOK, not of the real price. It's also a matter of size: small gifts are ok if they are precious/clearly costly or handcrafted. Gifts are expected for the usual occasions (Christmas, birthday, wedding, baptism, first communion, marriage anniversary), but, in Italy, also for "engagement anniversary" (since here the betrothal can last years before the marriage), graduation, final exam of the high school ("Maturità").
Hi Claudia and thank you for the clarification. Now that I’ve thought about it money is really between close friends and family. What I find interesting about the idea of the appearance of the gift (not so much the price or the intrinsic value) is that it reflects Italian culture. Appearances are key.
I met a cousin for the first time on my last trip. I didn't get to meet his sister because of her schedule. My cuz lives in Rome so I took the bus from Salerno to Fiumicino. He met me there and took me to my B&B that I was staying in because of an early flight the next day. We then went to lunch. We're all very artistic. Something I didn't know about the family before. So I had two prints made of one of my paintings and gave them to him, one for his sister. The printing didn't cost much but it was a personalized gift and she particularly liked it.
Good stuff, David. I'm a huge NHL fan myself, and a me no piace molto il calcio, but I get the sensitivity to it, and I heartily support the local calcio in my cousins' hometown.
The food here is the best! I ate an apple this morning and it didn’t look or taste as if it were in a refrigerator box over a month. It smelled like an apple off the tree, no wax on it and was crisp!
I laughed at the bit about acknowledging favors. My dad’s family came from Southern Italy and while he grew up in US, he carried all those Italian traits. Oh yeah reciprocity is expected and those fights over paying, I know those well :)
I think that the motto "gli amici si vedono nel momento del bisogno" (you recognise friends in moments of need) kind of sums up all of the favour exchanging attitude. Basically, you measure the level of friendship on someone's willingness to help you out in doing boring/tiring/unwanted stuff rather than just be available for the fun times. Overall, a very healthy attitude, I'd say.
I tend to agree. I must say to that in the United States I had a lot of friends that I would only see when we went out for a beer. It’s rather hallow and superficial looking back on it.
I think also it doesn't have a time limit. You may not get an opportunity for a few years but that time will come and if you do it willingly and cheerfully, it will be remembered.
I am glad I found your channel as I am returning to Italia (Sardegna) for a too quick vacation after my last trip 30+ years ago. In regards to dressing appropriately....I had to laugh but also agree...I sort of moved to Italy back then but not really. I literally sold everything I owned after leaving a corporate sales career. My goal was to maybe end up doing some tech consulting back then as Olivetti was really the only tech company. But, it was a far-fetch idea. But, after flying into Milano I headed to Venizia for my first week with backpack staying at a hostel. BUT, I had a sport coat and dress shoes and I look back how I did sort of blend in which was great. No one knew or cared I was sleeping in a "dorm" room of 100 other backpackers. hahahahah
i come fron north east italy and we do a lot of favours to each other in our group, it's just helping out both ways. less about someone insisting to pay, i know only one who does this, 99.999% of time at restaurant we pay alla romana
Hi David! The "battle for the bill" is a man thing. In Italy (especially in Southern Italy) is very rare that a woman even tries to pay bills. PS= scusa per il mio scarso inglese.
@@analiamaggiore8205 It has nothing to do with women having jobs. It is gender related and properly so! If it's the man doing the inviting, and it usually is, he pays.
about favors is more a matter of education, since childhood in Italy is thought that if a friend makes something to you you'll have to do something for him, there is a kind of duty to do this
It’s a good system. But I think as you get older you have to evaluate if it’s better to find a solution on your own to not be in debt to someone or accept the help.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly it’s not a debt. It’s not a thing that you have to do. If a friend helps you moving and you invite him for a pizza, you are not paying him back for the work he did for you. You are being nice.
Hahaha, the fan is saving us in these ultra hot days, i feel you!!! Gift giving i'd say is not mandatory in informal situations (friends) but with common sense you can understand on your own when you could squeeze some more points Cash as gift, i've never seen it. Might be because of living in the northeast, or maybe just that i never saw it happen. Paying at the restaurant is funny ^_^ . Sneaking stealthily towards the cashier might too lead to somewhat drama, when the other "wannabe pay cash" figures out he cannot do that anymore and forcibly makes you note that he is disappointed, but you can just say "ok, next time you will do that", and it acts like a reset button, he turns on his smile again, hugs your shoulders and laughs "amici come prima" Favor for friends is a national habit. The sky is the limit. Politicians do that. big companies do that. Small people and commoneers do that. Yep. Criticizing is.. a standard nowadays. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone wants to share it. Social media made it easier. And - connected to the next point- there's a saying: Every italian citizen is an "allenatore" when talking about football (the team manager? preparator? trainer? whatever), meaning that every single italian's football fan WILL have an opinion about how he would have done the job better. Mostly when his favourite team loses. Moreover, i know that this channel aims at getting seen by US people, but... We italians won't get offended by You saying that you neither follow, nor like soccer. We get offended by You calling it "Soccer". And as for your true favourite sport, i'm sorry but we italians can't muster much muscles there. Italian Ice Hockey is minor, mostly played in the north (where the alps are), as a nation we're quite always in the B group (division) and we have hard times ranking up in the A group, and if it happens, it lasts only for a season. Team divisions we have an internal italian league, and the biggest players do also play in the Alpenliga, or even better in the EBHL, sometimes we go for the european champions league but we don't go very far. And a sidenote, i'm for the Bolzano Foxes ^_^ Great Vid. Ciao ^_^
Thanks for the feedback! I've never met an Italian who didn't like the word soccer! The other day I was watching my daughter's cartoon, a US based one and there was an episode on soccer. Below it in parenthesis it said "football". I found that odd because in the US football is a distinctly different sport that personally I never liked too much. Yeah, not much hope for hockey here and I accept that. Gift giving among friends really depends on the situation and where everyone is getting together.
During my two years in Rome (2017-2019), I would say, "Mi dispiace, il mio italiano non e molto buono," and it got me smiles in a lot of places. And then the other person would speak English. I eventually was good enough to get around, but that phrase helped me get to the English if I needed to. Also, who's your hockey team? :-)
I’ve always loved the Italian patience in regards to those who can’t speak good Italian. With sports I am all Boston. Bruins and Red Sox were once close to my heart
I'm with you on Ice Hockey, David. I'm a huge NHL fan in general. How do you follow the sport while living in Italy? I'm curious because my wife and I are moving to Italy or Germany in the next few years, and I'm curious what it's like for you as a fan abroad these days. Back in Spring '04, I was going to internet cafes in Florence to catch up on NHL playoff scores and highlights lol - thank goodness for streaming platforms now. Love your videos, keep up the great work!
Hey Jeff. No unfortunately I don't follow the Bruins anymore. It's not because I lost interest but being so far away and not being in that environment it just isn't the same anymore. However, the game itself remains a passion of mine for many reasons. I don't like most sports where I watch guys run around. I prefer ice skating which is a difficult skill to master whereas running we learn that as a kids. But to each their own. Germany or Italy? Interesting. Those can be two extremes!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly They really are lol (I have my Italian citizenship and my wife has her German citizenship, but we're both US born). We'll see who wins out in our 5 year plan 😅 I'm pulling for Italy, and I find your videos extremely insightful and helpful! I just stumbled upon your channel a few weeks ago, and your content is fantastic. As for hockey - I can understand not following the NHL being that far removed from other fans and the culture in general. The passion for the sport never goes away, though. Cheers, David :) Keep up the great work
To be honest I still consider myself an amateur however if my videos are reaching people and you were all getting value out of them then that’s all that matters. Since one of you wants Germany and one of you wants Italy may I suggest Trentino? I went there once and I really loved it. What I like about it is that you have a mix of Italy and Germanic So this might be a happy medium for you two. Absolutely love of hockey never goes away!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly That's a great suggestion. I'll have to look into that region further - for sure. To be a little more forthcoming (without bashing the USA), we're moving due to capitalism and healthcare. Our lifestyle priorities and needs just don't really align with where we are now, and we both have a desire to go back to our roots. As for your content, I say it's fantastic because the experiences you're sharing feel very genuine and relatable (in addition to being helpful and practical). Nothing seems put on, and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn on that as someone who's never met you. It's definitely meant as a complement. You've got a bit posted, so I'm excited to keep watching and catch up. Grazie mille, David. Ciao
Compliments are always accepted and I thank you for your kind words! I don’t really have a secret to my videos, there’s always room for improvement but I try to not copy other peoples styles. There are certain techniques that you can borrow and other people can influence you but at the end of the day the platform is called YOUTube. 😎. You do YOU! I understand completely your reasons for wanting to leave the US. I miss it at times because it is the place were I was born and raised and spent most of my life, but I’m happy here for the most part and I also view the US as a bit unstable. In regards to capitalism there are pros and cons to it. I am mostly in favor of it only because I like the fact that if you put in the hard work your income knows no limits. On the other hand it does consume people and it can cause great greed. In Other words it creates a distinct line between the haves and the have Nots. Basically I think that if you do approach a capitalistic system it helps to have a good strong moral background to begin with. Capitalism for me could be a family man who created his own business and uses that business to provide for his family. If it is used to help family loved ones and the general community then it can stay. Granted I know that this sounds like a pipe dream, but in theory it is nice. Unfortunately capitalism tends to isolate people in their own wealth. As for the healthcare system I am more optimistic here. Italy has its defects like any system but I really have not had any problems with healthcare here. I simply love it how When we go to the doctor we don’t know anything because his/her salary is tax paid. Opponents to the system say that this causes the quality of doctors to decrease but I disagree because in order to become a physician here lots of years of study are required. When they prescribe medication or a test it is not to line their pockets or those of the insurance company. It’s done out of your own best interest. As you have probably guessed by now I do not miss US healthcare and for that reason alone I would stay here in Italy. Granted the quality of US medicine is good but the dispersal system is a whole other issue.
I'm Italian, I live in Italy and I freely say "I don't like soccer" with no issue. Do not fear, many italians have had enough of the obsession that our country have on that sport.
VSG Trek thanks for the tip ... say, I've watched many of your videos and I have a question that I figure you might be able to help me with. based on research, I think there are two trains that run from Roma Termini to La Spezia ... one is a coastal train and one is more inland. I think I'd like to take the coastal train, as I envision it as being beautiful (bella) when I visit in October,. but, I'm not sure if it is more beautiful nor how to order those tickets or which train is which...we have 2 nights in Rome, taking the train to Cinque Terre for two nights before we head to Tuscany by car... thoughts?
Hi! Thank you for watching my videos! I appreciate it. I think the train to Migliarina is the one you want And I say that because this final destination doesn’t seem to be close to the water, so I would think that the route is mostly inland. Of course I’m only guessing, how did you find out that one route is inland and the other is more coastal?
Very interesting. I have Italian family in Naples do I take it that when I visit should I Buy a gift for them all. I only bought a gift for one cousin this year but feel now that I should have bought a gift for one of my other cousin's as she was so kind to me. What do you think? Thank you
Ciao David, complimenti per le tue spiegazioni,😂😂😂😂 è tutto vero,ho visto che stavi ad un concerto dei Megadeth, sei anche tu un headbanger?Io ascolto la musica metal da quando avevo 14 anni, adesso ne ho 54 e ancora ascolto solo quella....un abbraccio 😉👍
Ciao Massimiliano! Assolutamente si! Adoro il metal e lo ascolto da molti anni. Mi piace sempre di più visto che a molte persone non piace e ciò giace la bellezza di questo tipo di musica: è musica ribelle. Hope you're doing well!
Well, what you said about favors 99.9% applies to southern Italy because in the south there is this idea that you have to offer your help and absolutely you cannot refuse if you are asked, however, in 99.9% it is no longer a real and free favor but "A BUON RENDERE!" ... here in the "deep cold" north of Italy if we do a favor it is because we want to do it and it is totally free ... this is because we are taught to be independent and we do not expect that friends and relatives have to help us, so we are not "scandalized" when help is not offered or when we receive a NO as an answer ... thank God we are free from this "PALLA AL PIEDE" to always be in debt to someone that in the south becomes a constant situation for any "stupidaggine" if you are not very careful not to accept help from no one! This is one of those things for which the so vounted warm and nice ways of southern Italy actually hides a lot of opportunism ... favors should be FREE! NOT... A BUON RENDERE! ... BRAVO David you're absolutely right, finally someone who has the courage to tell the truth about this fact! ... The further south you go and the more the help you get from people is never free but "A BUON RENDERE! ... 🙈🙈🙈🙈
I lived that situation first hand and while living in Campania I lost a few friends because of my naive approach. It’s also because I didn’t grow around a ton of friends and I’m also an only child so that didn’t help. But you’re right that constant feeling of “you owe someone” gets irritating to be honest. I think I’d exist just fine in the North for a lot of reasons.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly A good friend does favors because he wants to do it and because doing it makes him happy and that's it ... this is the only reason why people should do favors for friends, if one does favors "a buon rendere" it becomes like investing money in a bank ... to get it back when you need it, maybe even with interest! Nothing to do with being friends! ... and yes I think you would like it up here because despite what many people say we are not "cold people" ... there is a lot in the middle between being "cold" and being pushy, as often happens in southern Italy!
I wish you had a patreon but I will look into the funding you have opted for. By the end of the week I will be supporting you because I find a great deal of value in your vids! That said... I deeply want to have a significant amount of retirement time here. I'm closer to 60 than 50, lol and hope to begin spending much more time in Italy each year. But, I am a worker and I can only handle so much 'down time'... How hard is it to be in Italy 3 months a year and work? I have no idea where to start on this. Is it even possible?
Hi Dave and thank you so much for the support. I don’t have Patreon because I mean it’s a bit complicated or just not as simple as buy me a coffee. Unfortunately this is a hectic time in my life so when I have a spare time I make videos and if my time is divided too much the quality suffers. When you say spend three months in Italy and work what exactly do you mean? Work 3 months in Italy ? If that’s the case I say it’s too difficult and at that point your best bet is to make money for yourself online. This is my goal and it’s really the most profitable. I’m sorry that I can’t offer but a solution but it’s difficult to pinpoint a more definitive answer because everyone’s situation is different.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly That is exactly the answer I needed. My wife can work remotely and I can get back into programming. Presently, I do construction. Sorry if it sounded like I was telling you what to do. I'm much better with automated support than remembering to do something lol. Thanks again for all the help!
About the dressing rules. In Italy we dress for the situation, as a form of respect for others and for a innate sense of beauty. So if you are at home, you can put on whatever you want. If you are going out, you need to dress for the situation: school, work, dinner at a restaurant. It’s not only for big events. If you go out for dinner you need to be properly dressed. You cannot go out at night with shorts and flip flops (witch I’ve seen a lot in the US). It’s a no, no, even if you are at the seaside. About the friendship. Friends and family are everything. We help friends because we love them, not because we want something in return. The point is, everybody needs help at some point in life, you better have a friend to help you out. So, if you come to Italy and mess up with food and clothes, we will instantly recognize you as foreigner, we will love you anyway, but we will definitely try to teach you how do eat and dress better.
Hi Analia Oh sure I do believe that in most cases, the help is given because there is a genuine desire to assist the other person The point that I was trying to make in the video is that I think in southern Italy in particular, it’s embarrassing to have to remind the other person to return the favor. For them it’s so automatic that when somebody doesn’t return the favor, they are offended. Rightly so, but I still think that favor should be done without the expectation of getting something in return. This isn’t just my opinion, my wife was from Sicily tends to agree that in the south very often people expect something in return. But at the end of the day, it’s all subjective really As for people not dressing properly, I think that is really difficult to educate foreigners in Italy, because clothing is part of our identity and people don’t usually take kindly to being told what to wear even when it’s done out of love, and in their best interest.
I was born and grew up in Italy and then I went to London. When I was in Italy I felt always out of place, because I didn’t care to dress up in summer time when I finished working. I went to the promenade to take a stroll and to enjoy my friends. I felt always uncomfortable being judged because oc that. So, it’s not always something to praise. People need to think their own business and let people live how they please. I’m not killing your mother if I prefer flip flops, shorts and t-shirt after work and going on the “passeggiata” close to the seaside.
In my family, it was common to stay in robe and pj's on Sunday if we weren't going to church. We'd go on Sat. evening. Nice robe, nice pj's, not ratty bathroom stuff. My Ukrainian MIL was horrified. Even now, I dress carefully when I go out. I never wear trousers or jeans. only skirts and dresses. I just feel more comfortable. Of course if it were an occasion where jeans or shorts were needed. I would wear them.
People in Italy buy only the freshest ingredients and don’t shop at Costco for three month supply. Unheard of here, farmer’s markets are still full of Italians!
Many great points. Thanks. I’ll stay away from criticizing Italy. Maybe after ten years living there…. . Good thing I love calcio! Hockey..no thanks. I tried. Went to islander / ranger game. The fans scared me and I never saw the puck.
Ciao! I’m moving to Italy and I’d like it to know how I go about becoming a citizen? My mom father is a natural born Italian citizen and currently resides in his homeland! I have my American citizenship and need doppia cittadinanza! Suggestions? Guidance? Thank you!
Hi Mauro. first I would need to know the year in which your mother was born. This is important because the first born child abroad of an Italian citizen can be a woman but she must have been born after 1948. If that’s the case then you may have a greenlight. After that you need to collect all vital life certificates: birth certificate marriage certificate death certificate etc. Since your father lives in Italy I would actually try and get your citizenship here Because from what I am hearing it is difficult to get an appointment at a consulate in the states and then when you do get one there’s a long wait. Best of luck!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly David, thank you for your quick reply and information! Both my rents are natural Italian born, raised & married, mother dearest renounced her citizenship & became an “American.” To this day, why she didn’t maintain dual citizenship baffles me. My father had a green card however, when he decided to return to his birth country, Italy, he didn’t renew his green card. All that said, my father is now 91 and permanently residing in Italy! My rents are close to a decade and a half apart, mother being “American.” From what I understand from “the powers that be; several townships, vigili & bosses
@@Mauro2570 Well fortunately it would seem that you still have a greenlight to be in Italian citizen and I would still get it through your father. If I am correct and if your mother became a US citizen after 1992 then you could still get it through her. You would need to check that information however. Whatever your life situation is I would deathly pursue dual citizenship because in the end it’s another option in life.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly What amazed me these people weren't talking about just buying a coffee for a friend, but buying a coffee for everyone. Most of the time I saw this was at the local soccer club bar/clubhouse. Usually there were maybe five or six people, but even still...
Great video David. Yes, I get it. As a visitor, tourist or resident in Italy I should be stingy with criticism of Italy and generous with praise ( at least until I get back home)! Italian tourists have no similar compunctions. Italian friends who come visit us have a list of complaints before they leave the airport. This continues on the drive home and during the entire stay. The food is not to their liking, They don’t like the tipping culture. Americans are too fat ( sorry, nothing I can do about that), downtowns look downtrodden, suburbs are boring, meal schedules are different than what they are used to, things close earlier than what they are used to, too much a/c etc etc etc. no mention of anything positive about the visit. They are like that in other countries and even their own. You wonder why they even bother traveling if everything is such a hassle for them. You also wonder how the Italian diplomatic service gets any applicants to the global world service where everything is “great” and everywhere is “nice”.
This is a nation of complainers. It’s in their culture. I remember once I went to a summer camp full of Italians in England and they were accompanied by their Italian public school teachers who complained the moment they arrived. I did something wrong at one point t and I told the head teacher to get the Italian hens away from me! I didn’t even want to hear it ! At times their complaining is valid but when you complain too often people stop listening.
Yes it s true , but dont forget it : italians like to complain about everything, but mostly about Italy. It s an italian habit , dont worry. Usually we dont complain with strangers about their country; but with strangers about our country !! But If i can complain about Italy , you cannot ! It s so ….
@@romanobenini3331 I disagree and I stand by my reasons in this video. I won’t be silenced just because I am not from Italy. I’ve contributed to this country and I’ve earned the right to complain. Besides the view of an outsider looking in is necessary because it allows you to observe things you take for granted, negative things I mean.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly my comment is not about you or your comment ! 😂😉 i said only that italians are used to complain about their country but dont like that foregners complain about Italy . “ i can do it but it s offensive If a not italian do the same thing”. It s an explanation. But sincerely i accept your video because you Are “ half italian” , and i dont like critics about my country from not italians. I think it s normal : there are too many stereotypes about italians in the world and i despise false representations ….
@@romanobenini3331 Thank you! I think criticism and stereotypes are strictly subjective and circumstantial. Sometimes are accurate sometimes they’re just ridiculous. I will admit though to this day there is certain Italian things that I don’t understand. It’s natural because I wasn’t born and raised here
Ciao David! The only thing I would add about criticizing Italy, is to say that if you are here in Italy only as a tourist, then it is never appropriate to criticize Italy. Grazie, Paul in Firenze
I'd say the same for visiting any country. Our countries all have their warts, but it isn't for me, the guest, to criticize. It's like when your mother-in-law comes to visit and says "Your paint color is too bright!" Hey Ma, you don't live here, and are leaving on Friday... you can paint your house whatever color you want. 😝 (True story)
Paul Friday! How's it going in Firenze? Yea, I agree with you. I would say that you could criticize your host country if you see something blatantly wrong, violence for example. That's wrong anywhere.
I don't disagree with that you should return the favor if someone helps u but a lot of time when u ask that same friend that you help, when it time reciprecate, they won't. They will have every excuse not to help you.
I don't feel the pressure to return the favor but I always do because they're family and that's what you do for family, that's how I was raised. I live in Northern Italy, born in central Italy. But this doesn't only happen in Italy, my mom is Lithuanian and it's impossible to be faster than her at paying the bill 😂
Speaking of criticizing Italy ... You live in Italy, work and pay your taxes, it seems to me OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CRITICATE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS NOT GOOD! Honestly, those who should keep quiet are the Italians who by choice work illegally and do not pay taxes along with all tax evaders! Everything these "cittadini modello" receive from the state, in the form of a public service, is a GIFT that we honest citizens and in general honest workers (as there are many honest workers in this country that do not have the Italian citizenship) do to them by paying for everything they enjoy for free ... and I stress for free, since by not paying taxes they do not contribute in any way to the payment of those many services that they use without limits starting from the public free healtcare!
Hi Sebastian. In all honesty I really can’t remember somebody criticizing me for criticizing Italy. I think it happened a few times here in the comments in other videos but if you think about it it’s too easy to attack somebody behind the safety of a keyboard. To say to their face is a whole other matter. I think tax evasion is a learned habit and furthermore people do it because they see it as a challenge. I also think they do it because they blame the state for being incompetent. That might be true to a certain extent however change begins with the individual. Small gestures. For example I want my daughter to never see me litter Or being dishonest.
5:18 i'm italian. This is absolutely true and absolutely ridiculous. I don't wanna pay like a ninja. No more!!😅 7:25 now i write in italian because is very hard to explain. Ho dei vicini di casa che provengono dal sud italia (in particolare uno vicino a napoli ed uno siciliano) e ho notato delle differenze: il napoletano cerca sempre di farmi dei favori anche se non glieli ho chiesti. Per esempio "ti serve questo trapano? Te lo presto. Il tosaerba? Eccolo". Per contro ha un atteggiamento strano. Diceva "bisogna essere gentili coi vicini perché non sai quando sarai tu ad aver bisogno." Infatti è venuto a chiedermi delle cose e dopo ogni richiesta concludeva con un racconto in cui qualcuno non lo aveva aiutato e lui aveva chiamato un avvocato... molto sospetto. Sembra quasi una minaccia. Il siciliano invece è risultato esageratamente ossequioso. Neanche fossi il sovrano di zamunda o del wakanda. Ci sono enormi differenze tra nord e sud e chi vive qui sa come queste creino delle tensioni mai del tutto risolte. I think that exist 20 different types of italian, one for each region. And more.
I’ve also noticed this over politeness of Sicilians. It’s nice but yes a bit too much at times. The Neapolitan way that you just mentioned sounds about right and for an American it’s a bit too good to be true. We’re used to fending for ourself more or less
@@DavidsDoseofItaly Which is very sad when you think of it. I managed to give myself a black eye in Catania, don't ask! So I went to the Pescheria the next day to get some food. I had not been there. I stopped to buy some veggies and the guy saw my eye and said "What happened, your husband didn't do that did he?" He was furious. I explained that I am alone and that I fell against a table. Very weird for me but anyway. If I had said "yes, my husband," he would have come home with me and beaten him up, at the very least. I have to admit that I loved it.
About football... I don't see why I should say that "I'm not interested in football" when in reality I think it's one of the most boring games I can imagine and that I honestly hate! For me, watching a football match is a real punishment! And if football lovers don't like this, it's not my problem! I like to ski but if someone tells me that he hates skiing I'm not offended ... indeed, thank God, one less crowding the ski slopes ... more space for me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Moreover, I will not enter into the merits of what it costs the Italian state to keep hordes of imbeciles at bay! Criminals who use football as an excuse to give free rein to their bestiality!
🤣🤣🤣🤣. Nice. One less body on the slopes , that’s a very positive approach. I find it boring for a few reasons. The field is too big. Not enough goals or shots on goal. I’ll never understand how the game end at a specific time and often is up to the ref. Not the case in hockey or baseball
about criticizing italy what you say it's true, but you forget to mention that italians are the worst critics on italy. for italians people every thing (except food and coffe) is done in a foreign country is better that in italy and whining about how things don't go well in italy is kind of a national sport
Non so se lo dici in modo ironico, ma ho una teoria. Dopo la seconda guerra mondiale la comunità titolo americana voleva diventare americani soprattutto perché l’Italia era un nemico degli Stati Uniti quindi volevano dimostrarsi americani anche loro. La prima cosa da cambiare è la lingua. Se continui a parlare un’altra lingua vuol dire che non ti interessa far parte del nuovo paese. Questa è la mia prima teoria. La seconda è che per natura l’italiano ha una capacità buona di integrarsi nel contesto in cui si trova. Quindi al primo posto l’America. Ripeto è solamente una mia teoria però la generazione di mio padre volevano essere riconosciuti come americani , quindi ho un po’ di esperienza di persona.
Your thought experiment about tolerating a 'foreigner' criticizing America was a nice try, but comparing America with countries like Italy is of limited value, IMHO. America is a giant, late 18th century, 'Enlightenment era' project, a 'proposition nation' which was never intended to belong to or be the physical manifestation of the power of any one tribe or ethnicity. Its founding mythos and cultural values were specifically written and codified by highly educated late 18th century men who were great believers in liberal democracy and Enlightenment-derived rationalism. It is deliberately 'a nation of immigrants'. Yeah, yeah, I know it started with an Anglo-Scottish super majority in the original 13 colonies, but very quickly there were waves of non-Anglo immigration, first by the Dutch and Germans, the Irish, then a whole bunch of other European peoples as the 19th century unfolded. And that's just white people. You also had the native Americans, African slaves, and Hispanics (especially in the South West). That is the total opposite of the history of European countries and Asian countries. Those nations did arise from clearly defined ethnicities and linguistic-cultural traditions, and are therefore much more in-group orientated and aware of who is in-group and who is out-group. That is why there have been so many wars in Europe and also why it has been so much harder to integrate immigrants into Europe than it has been in America. And don't get me started on Asia! I mean, I have lived in China, Korea, and Japan, and those places are virtual ethno-states in all but name. Anyway, my point is that while to the average American it may be less grating on the ears to hear a foreigner criticizing America, especially from one who has been living there a few years and pays taxes, etc., don't automatically assume that all people in older countries will be or even should be that 'tolerant'. And no, that doesn't mean they are 'bad' people or 'wrong' and it's an American's place to 'educate' them, lol. It's just that America and American values are very specific to a particular historical period (the Enlightenment) and philosophy (classical liberalism).
Hi. First thank you for interacting and engaging with my video, not to mention taking the time to leave your thoughts. I appreciate it, our time is valuable! However let me be frank when I say I don’t like the words “nice try” when referring to my attempt at explaining criticizing the USA vs. Italy. I found it rather patronizing. Also, I disagree that it is less grating on the American ears to hear a foreigner criticize their country. If anything, it’s the opposite, I think many Americans are so proud of their country that it’s unwelcome to hear the opinion from a foreigner. Italians are more tolerant in this situation. I don’t understand the relevance of explaining the historical and sociological developments of both continents when it comes to who is “allowed” to criticize their host country. Yes these developments did determine the ethnocentricity of both places, ok, however I don’t think that’s exactly relative because every country has your mix of folks who are both proud and also despise their country. In my video I don’t specify which country is more sensitive and that wasn’t the point. Mine was that their life conditions and circumstances make an immigrant comfortable and most importantly confident in their criticism of their host country because, objectively speaking they’ve earned it based on their own merits.
Sure. It’s more important in Italy than in North America. I think it’s this way because North Americans aim to be more autonomous in every sense of the word. Italians, less in my opinion.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly i don't think it's a matter of autonomy. Italians have a different concept of friendship. A friend is not just anyone you know. I know many people but my real friends; that I can really relate to are very few.
Coming from a large Italian family, (nonna from the north, nonno from the south) both were very generous with friends and family.
All part of “Bella Figura”, I suppose, but the ones from the south just seemed to go a little bit further with it. Trying to respectfully decline any of their generosity was almost impossible 😂.
My dad was born in the USA but carried that mindset strongly and would often do what you mentioned and pay sneakily when we thought he went to use the restaurant restroom. He would never let someone else pay the bill.
Several years ago, my family and I returned to the NY/NJ area, where my family settled after coming in through Ellis Island, for my dad’s funeral. As we were checking out of the hotel the receptionist asked how our stay was. I said that under different circumstances it would have been wonderful, and I mentioned the sad reason for our visit. He asked if I had received the invoice under our door and wanted to see it.
He tore it up in front of me and said the stay was not going to be billed.
As this sunk in I embarrassed myself and broke down right there at the front desk. Even in death that sneaky son of a gun managed to “pay the tab”. Miss him terribly.
Anyway, thanks for your excellent videos. I always watch as soon as I can.
Wow your father was a great guy! May he at peace.
Wow that was a touching and heartfelt story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Very true, Italian traits stay with us for a few generations. My dad is this way too.
Such a moving story ❤️
Excellent video. To explain how important is friendship in Italy: if a friend ask you to come to help him / her at 3 AM, you just go , you do not even ask why. He/she will do the same for you.
Thank you 😊. Yes this is what I appreciate about friendship here.
I lived in Italy and eventually attended school there. I dressed like an Italian. Italian people always complemented me on my Italian language skills as opposed to the French who throw a fit if you can't speak French.
The French are still like that ? Did you experience that often. ?
@@DavidsDoseofItaly
È quello che mi è successo in Francia e quello che sento spesso. Degli americani sono fondamentalmente la stessa cosa con l'inglese. Vivo in California e lo vedo sempre. Gli italiani sono molto più simpatici dei francesi e degli americani.
@@davidtice4972 dai si sono d’accordo.
Never happened to me anywhere in France and I only can speak French if my life depends on it. My French teacher in my youth literally scared all ability to learn the language well out of me
"don't worry" is not just an euphemistic way to say that i expect something in return. it's a way to say " i know that if i would need an help you'll help me like i helped you". it' more about troustness and it's the same in all italy
Ah nice, so I got the concept right in this video. Thanks!
I come from a large Italian community in New Jersey. A lot of the people of Italian descent help each out a lot. There are also people arguing about the check too. My older Italian family members still see us as kids even though we are grown up with kids, and many insist on paying the check. My dad used to loan out my brother and I to the Italian neighbors for shoveling snow, yard work, etc. We made the mistake one time of taking a tip from one of the neighbors that insisted. He was furious at us for accepting the money. He made us return to apologize and give the money back. A lot of these neighbors would keep an eye on us, and the other kids in the neighborhood to make sure we were safe....and behaved. lol.
Interesting story and I totally understand your father. Yeah, that is the advantage of close quarter Italian living. Someone is probably always watching you and if you call for help someone hears you immediately.
When you accept a favor from an italian, you are also strengthing a bond. Between friends it's expected to help each other (friends aren't just people to hang out with). Denying a reasonable favor request can have serious social consequences.
that is spot on. It's detrimental if you deny the favor for perceived selfish reasons.
When I first got to Italy, and began going to my son's soccer games, and our friends asked me how I liked soccer. Because I had to attend Marco's games I answered honestly but politely: I don't understand the game, and I often said, That's a lot of running and work for so few points. They always laughed and that was that. I got along great with all our soccer friends. When I left they threw me a surprise going away party.
I agree. while I understand the game because of it's similarity to hockey, I dislike that there are so few goals scored. Few shots on net for that matter.
@@enricacantori2984 quale affermazione? la mia o di Rich?
@@enricacantori2984 Se una persona non è disposta a prescindere ad ascoltare il parere di un altro che magari non è in sintonia con la sua versione del mondo sia che questa persona parla la tua lingua perfettamente ed è cresciuta nella stessa nazione di te figuriamoci quello dello straniero.
You get to the point and dont waste time being silly...thank you
Grazie mille David. These are very useful for me since when I move I want to fit it in as much as possible, the only place I will be criticizing is probably the States. I am not coming with the intent of bringing my ideas there so much as integrating. I do love calcio so that will help.
Bravo. That’s the right approach
Love these videos. We are planning to move there from the US in the next couple years. And these videos are really helpful
Mega Thx ☺️. Best of luck , I’m here for any questions
I think that once you lived in a country a significant amount of years you're more than "qualified" to criticize it... It's almost part of our culture. We Italians loveeeeeeee to complain about our country but at the same time, we just love it. It's a love - hate relationship.
I agree with you and I consider myself qualified.
True it’s a toxic relationship Italians have with their country. Many realize what they’ve left behind when they go abroad.
Sounds like America
We can criticize our country, but the moment a non-American pops up and tries to do so... suddenly the patriotism pops up
As an Italian American (Abbruzze grandparents) Growing up with the drama of who will pay the bill, I assumed this was normal and something expected at the end of a meal. My husband later asked me to stop going through these motions as it was a bit impolite in American culture because he felt if someone offers to treat you, it's a bit insulting to not to show gratitude for the offer.
You also give very good advice regarding the expectations that Italians definitely keep tabs on who owes them favors and on dressing to impress. As a young American woman, I realized I was being ignored in Rome by shop keepers etc. if I didn't wear make up and make an effort when I did errands. That certainly isn't the case in the States where you can basically wear your pajamas to a supermarket 😂
Excellent observation and actually, I was thinking about this comment the other day. It is indeed a bit rude in US culture to fight someone when they want to pay the bill for you. Different points of view however, it still makes me uncomfortable to pay when I’m in a battle with someone to pay the check
I am an Indian living in Canada since several years and I just discovered your channel and am actually surprised at the similarities with how it was in India, my goodness. Like how a good majority of this list applies the same even for India. I love how many similarities there are between people in the world. But we never even know because we never communicate with each other.
Hi.
Indeed, I love comparing cultures There’s so much we can learn from each other, and despite the fact that the Internet exists, you can only learn so much about a culture
About money for gift: it's usually a thing just between grandparents and grandchildren; in ALL other cases is considered tasteless, a sign that you didn't put any thought or effort into the gift and went for the easier way. The only exception to this rule are wedding gifts, and usually, again, from grandparents, or old uncles/aunts, or if the couple asked for that themselves.
Gift giving is a very tricky subject in Italy: you have to find the right balance between "too little" and "too much"; the gift has to LOOK not too expensive (it could sell you like a "show-off" type of person) nor too inexpensive (so you are deemed a "braccino corto" = "short little arm" = stingy). Be aware: it's a matter of LOOK, not of the real price. It's also a matter of size: small gifts are ok if they are precious/clearly costly or handcrafted.
Gifts are expected for the usual occasions (Christmas, birthday, wedding, baptism, first communion, marriage anniversary), but, in Italy, also for "engagement anniversary" (since here the betrothal can last years before the marriage), graduation, final exam of the high school ("Maturità").
Hi Claudia and thank you for the clarification. Now that I’ve thought about it money is really between close friends and family.
What I find interesting about the idea of the appearance of the gift (not so much the price or the intrinsic value) is that it reflects Italian culture. Appearances are key.
I met a cousin for the first time on my last trip. I didn't get to meet his sister because of her schedule. My cuz lives in Rome so I took the bus from Salerno to Fiumicino. He met me there and took me to my B&B that I was staying in because of an early flight the next day. We then went to lunch. We're all very artistic. Something I didn't know about the family before. So I had two prints made of one of my paintings and gave them to him, one for his sister. The printing didn't cost much but it was a personalized gift and she particularly liked it.
Good stuff, David. I'm a huge NHL fan myself, and a me no piace molto il calcio, but I get the sensitivity to it, and I heartily support the local calcio in my cousins' hometown.
Yup, it's important to recognize the importance it has for them and thus my point in the video.
This is a lot more helpful than the other videos I watched. Most of them are more about touristy stuff.
Thank you. This was an awesome comment and you are correct in that I don’t just make videos for tourists.
The dramatic sound with "worry about it!" at 6:29 / 6:30 startled me lol
Oh sorry about that. I thought the volume was low enough.
Excellent video. Great information for those visiting/moving to Italy.
Thanks ! I tried to pick info that I’ve personally lived through
The food here is the best! I ate an apple this morning and it didn’t look or taste as if it were in a refrigerator box over a month. It smelled like an apple off the tree, no wax on it and was crisp!
This morning I ate an apple that I have picked from an orchard in Trentino alto Adige. Buona !
The "go to the bathroom and then pay for everyone" thing is so true ahahahahahah
😆😆. It seems it got it right !
I did it lots of times!!!😂😂😂
Good things to know David. Thanks. 🥰🥰
Great information.
Il calcio è come una religione in Italia! Mi piace molto la passione Italiana per il calcio.
👍👍
San Diego di Maradona
I laughed at the bit about acknowledging favors. My dad’s family came from Southern Italy and while he grew up in US, he carried all those Italian traits. Oh yeah reciprocity is expected and those fights over paying, I know those well :)
Hi Carol. Oh yes, that is one aspect of southern Italian families that you can’t escape ! It’s all about social networking
I think that the motto "gli amici si vedono nel momento del bisogno" (you recognise friends in moments of need) kind of sums up all of the favour exchanging attitude. Basically, you measure the level of friendship on someone's willingness to help you out in doing boring/tiring/unwanted stuff rather than just be available for the fun times. Overall, a very healthy attitude, I'd say.
I tend to agree. I must say to that in the United States I had a lot of friends that I would only see when we went out for a beer. It’s rather hallow and superficial looking back on it.
I think also it doesn't have a time limit. You may not get an opportunity for a few years but that time will come and if you do it willingly and cheerfully, it will be remembered.
Sicilian American living in San Diego this all, we do, in my family.
Great stuff! Thank you!
This etiquette tip video really helps, especially about who pays for a meal. I like the sneak off to the bathroom and pay the cashier technique. 🤠👍✨
It works ! Believe me ! Thanks Chuck.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly You bet, David! 🤠👍✨I also learned another piece of etiquette is to never talk about the mafia.
Better if you don’t. I don’t on my channel
@@DavidsDoseofItaly 😊👍✨
I am glad I found your channel as I am returning to Italia (Sardegna) for a too quick vacation after my last trip 30+ years ago. In regards to dressing appropriately....I had to laugh but also agree...I sort of moved to Italy back then but not really. I literally sold everything I owned after leaving a corporate sales career. My goal was to maybe end up doing some tech consulting back then as Olivetti was really the only tech company. But, it was a far-fetch idea. But, after flying into Milano I headed to Venizia for my first week with backpack staying at a hostel. BUT, I had a sport coat and dress shoes and I look back how I did sort of blend in which was great. No one knew or cared I was sleeping in a "dorm" room of 100 other backpackers. hahahahah
I admire those who take the plunge and deal with the consequences later. Especially in your case leaving your career. Best of luck to you !
i come fron north east italy and we do a lot of favours to each other in our group, it's just helping out both ways. less about someone insisting to pay, i know only one who does this, 99.999% of time at restaurant we pay alla romana
Yeah. This seems to be an Italian custom all over the peninsula.
Awesome video dude! Hugely helpful information. And thrilled to hear you're a hockey fan. Go leafs go! haha
Thanks Joe! Oh definitely. Hockey is really the one sport that interests me.
Hi David! The "battle for the bill" is a man thing. In Italy (especially in Southern Italy) is very rare that a woman even tries to pay bills.
PS= scusa per il mio scarso inglese.
No ma che dici. L’hai scritto benissimo!
It’s a thing between men in the south, because most women do not have a job. In the north it’s not a gender related thing.
Haha, yes! I didn't even offer when my cousin took me to lunch. He excused himself, got up and went inside to pay.
@@analiamaggiore8205 It has nothing to do with women having jobs. It is gender related and properly so! If it's the man doing the inviting, and it usually is, he pays.
Dave, I’m here and your there! 😂😂😂
Can you get over here ?
@@DavidsDoseofItaly where are you? We’re in Sulmona!
I’ve just seen pictures of your town and it looks very nice. I am in the heart of Rome.
Haha.. I'm a big calcio fan, so I look forward to talking about it on my trip 🙂
You'll find plenty of it here.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly Sadly, we are getting there the weekend before the WC break.
DOH!
about favors is more a matter of education, since childhood in Italy is thought that if a friend makes something to you you'll have to do something for him, there is a kind of duty to do this
It’s a good system. But I think as you get older you have to evaluate if it’s better to find a solution on your own to not be in debt to someone or accept the help.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly it’s not a debt. It’s not a thing that you have to do. If a friend helps you moving and you invite him for a pizza, you are not paying him back for the work he did for you. You are being nice.
Hahaha, the fan is saving us in these ultra hot days, i feel you!!!
Gift giving i'd say is not mandatory in informal situations (friends) but with common sense you can understand on your own when you could squeeze some more points
Cash as gift, i've never seen it. Might be because of living in the northeast, or maybe just that i never saw it happen.
Paying at the restaurant is funny ^_^ . Sneaking stealthily towards the cashier might too lead to somewhat drama, when the other "wannabe pay cash" figures out he cannot do that anymore and forcibly makes you note that he is disappointed, but you can just say "ok, next time you will do that", and it acts like a reset button, he turns on his smile again, hugs your shoulders and laughs "amici come prima"
Favor for friends is a national habit. The sky is the limit. Politicians do that. big companies do that. Small people and commoneers do that. Yep.
Criticizing is.. a standard nowadays. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone wants to share it. Social media made it easier. And - connected to the next point- there's a saying: Every italian citizen is an "allenatore" when talking about football (the team manager? preparator? trainer? whatever), meaning that every single italian's football fan WILL have an opinion about how he would have done the job better. Mostly when his favourite team loses.
Moreover, i know that this channel aims at getting seen by US people, but... We italians won't get offended by You saying that you neither follow, nor like soccer. We get offended by You calling it "Soccer".
And as for your true favourite sport, i'm sorry but we italians can't muster much muscles there. Italian Ice Hockey is minor, mostly played in the north (where the alps are), as a nation we're quite always in the B group (division) and we have hard times ranking up in the A group, and if it happens, it lasts only for a season. Team divisions we have an internal italian league, and the biggest players do also play in the Alpenliga, or even better in the EBHL, sometimes we go for the european champions league but we don't go very far. And a sidenote, i'm for the Bolzano Foxes ^_^
Great Vid.
Ciao ^_^
Thanks for the feedback! I've never met an Italian who didn't like the word soccer! The other day I was watching my daughter's cartoon, a US based one and there was an episode on soccer. Below it in parenthesis it said "football". I found that odd because in the US football is a distinctly different sport that personally I never liked too much. Yeah, not much hope for hockey here and I accept that.
Gift giving among friends really depends on the situation and where everyone is getting together.
During my two years in Rome (2017-2019), I would say, "Mi dispiace, il mio italiano non e molto buono," and it got me smiles in a lot of places. And then the other person would speak English. I eventually was good enough to get around, but that phrase helped me get to the English if I needed to. Also, who's your hockey team? :-)
I’ve always loved the Italian patience in regards to those who can’t speak good Italian.
With sports I am all Boston. Bruins and Red Sox were once close to my heart
I'm with you on Ice Hockey, David. I'm a huge NHL fan in general. How do you follow the sport while living in Italy? I'm curious because my wife and I are moving to Italy or Germany in the next few years, and I'm curious what it's like for you as a fan abroad these days. Back in Spring '04, I was going to internet cafes in Florence to catch up on NHL playoff scores and highlights lol - thank goodness for streaming platforms now. Love your videos, keep up the great work!
Hey Jeff. No unfortunately I don't follow the Bruins anymore. It's not because I lost interest but being so far away and not being in that environment it just isn't the same anymore. However, the game itself remains a passion of mine for many reasons. I don't like most sports where I watch guys run around. I prefer ice skating which is a difficult skill to master whereas running we learn that as a kids. But to each their own. Germany or Italy? Interesting. Those can be two extremes!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly They really are lol (I have my Italian citizenship and my wife has her German citizenship, but we're both US born). We'll see who wins out in our 5 year plan 😅 I'm pulling for Italy, and I find your videos extremely insightful and helpful! I just stumbled upon your channel a few weeks ago, and your content is fantastic. As for hockey - I can understand not following the NHL being that far removed from other fans and the culture in general. The passion for the sport never goes away, though. Cheers, David :) Keep up the great work
To be honest I still consider myself an amateur however if my videos are reaching people and you were all getting value out of them then that’s all that matters. Since one of you wants Germany and one of you wants Italy may I suggest Trentino? I went there once and I really loved it. What I like about it is that you have a mix of Italy and Germanic So this might be a happy medium for you two. Absolutely love of hockey never goes away!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly That's a great suggestion. I'll have to look into that region further - for sure. To be a little more forthcoming (without bashing the USA), we're moving due to capitalism and healthcare. Our lifestyle priorities and needs just don't really align with where we are now, and we both have a desire to go back to our roots. As for your content, I say it's fantastic because the experiences you're sharing feel very genuine and relatable (in addition to being helpful and practical). Nothing seems put on, and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn on that as someone who's never met you. It's definitely meant as a complement. You've got a bit posted, so I'm excited to keep watching and catch up. Grazie mille, David. Ciao
Compliments are always accepted and I thank you for your kind words! I don’t really have a secret to my videos, there’s always room for improvement but I try to not copy other peoples styles. There are certain techniques that you can borrow and other people can influence you but at the end of the day the platform is called YOUTube. 😎. You do YOU!
I understand completely your reasons for wanting to leave the US. I miss it at times because it is the place were I was born and raised and spent most of my life, but I’m happy here for the most part and I also view the US as a bit unstable. In regards to capitalism there are pros and cons to it. I am mostly in favor of it only because I like the fact that if you put in the hard work your income knows no limits. On the other hand it does consume people and it can cause great greed. In Other words it creates a distinct line between the haves and the have Nots. Basically I think that if you do approach a capitalistic system it helps to have a good strong moral background to begin with. Capitalism for me could be a family man who created his own business and uses that business to provide for his family. If it is used to help family loved ones and the general community then it can stay. Granted I know that this sounds like a pipe dream, but in theory it is nice. Unfortunately capitalism tends to isolate people in their own wealth.
As for the healthcare system I am more optimistic here. Italy has its defects like any system but I really have not had any problems with healthcare here. I simply love it how When we go to the doctor we don’t know anything because his/her salary is tax paid. Opponents to the system say that this causes the quality of doctors to decrease but I disagree because in order to become a physician here lots of years of study are required. When they prescribe medication or a test it is not to line their pockets or those of the insurance company. It’s done out of your own best interest. As you have probably guessed by now I do not miss US healthcare and for that reason alone I would stay here in Italy. Granted the quality of US medicine is good but the dispersal system is a whole other issue.
I'm Italian, I live in Italy and I freely say "I don't like soccer" with no issue. Do not fear, many italians have had enough of the obsession that our country have on that sport.
Meno male ! Actually reading this made me very happy and hopefully this trend continues in the future!
VSG Trek
thanks for the tip ... say, I've watched many of your videos and I have a question that I figure you might be able to help me with. based on research, I think there are two trains that run from Roma Termini to La Spezia ... one is a coastal train and one is more inland. I think I'd like to take the coastal train, as I envision it as being beautiful (bella) when I visit in October,. but, I'm not sure if it is more beautiful nor how to order those tickets or which train is which...we have 2 nights in Rome, taking the train to Cinque Terre for two nights before we head to Tuscany by car... thoughts?
Hi! Thank you for watching my videos! I appreciate it. I think the train to Migliarina is the one you want And I say that because this final destination doesn’t seem to be close to the water, so I would think that the route is mostly inland. Of course I’m only guessing, how did you find out that one route is inland and the other is more coastal?
Very interesting. I have Italian family in Naples do I take it that when I visit should I Buy a gift for them all. I only bought a gift for one cousin this year but feel now that I should have bought a gift for one of my other cousin's as she was so kind to me. What do you think? Thank you
Hi! I would just bring a gift for the people who are hosting you. It also depends on what the occasion is.
Some pastries from a good bakery is enough, or some chocolates.
Going to Italy for 2 weeks in October.
Hope you enjoy your visit !
Ciao David, complimenti per le tue spiegazioni,😂😂😂😂 è tutto vero,ho visto che stavi ad un concerto dei Megadeth, sei anche tu un headbanger?Io ascolto la musica metal da quando avevo 14 anni, adesso ne ho 54 e ancora ascolto solo quella....un abbraccio 😉👍
Ciao Massimiliano! Assolutamente si! Adoro il metal e lo ascolto da molti anni. Mi piace sempre di più visto che a molte persone non piace e ciò giace la bellezza di questo tipo di musica: è musica ribelle. Hope you're doing well!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly 🤟
Well, what you said about favors 99.9% applies to southern Italy because in the south there is this idea that you have to offer your help and absolutely you cannot refuse if you are asked, however, in 99.9% it is no longer a real and free favor but "A BUON RENDERE!" ... here in the "deep cold" north of Italy if we do a favor it is because we want to do it and it is totally free ... this is because we are taught to be independent and we do not expect that friends and relatives have to help us, so we are not "scandalized" when help is not offered or when we receive a NO as an answer ... thank God we are free from this "PALLA AL PIEDE" to always be in debt to someone that in the south becomes a constant situation for any "stupidaggine" if you are not very careful not to accept help from no one! This is one of those things for which the so vounted warm and nice ways of southern Italy actually hides a lot of opportunism ... favors should be FREE! NOT... A BUON RENDERE! ...
BRAVO David you're absolutely right, finally someone who has the courage to tell the truth about this fact! ... The further south you go and the more the help you get from people is never free but "A BUON RENDERE! ... 🙈🙈🙈🙈
I lived that situation first hand and while living in Campania I lost a few friends because of my naive approach. It’s also because I didn’t grow around a ton of friends and I’m also an only child so that didn’t help. But you’re right that constant feeling of “you owe someone” gets irritating to be honest.
I think I’d exist just fine in the North for a lot of reasons.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly A good friend does favors because he wants to do it and because doing it makes him happy and that's it ... this is the only reason why people should do favors for friends, if one does favors "a buon rendere" it becomes like investing money in a bank ... to get it back when you need it, maybe even with interest! Nothing to do with being friends! ... and yes I think you would like it up here because despite what many people say we are not "cold people" ... there is a lot in the middle between being "cold" and being pushy, as often happens in southern Italy!
I wish you had a patreon but I will look into the funding you have opted for. By the end of the week I will be supporting you because I find a great deal of value in your vids!
That said... I deeply want to have a significant amount of retirement time here. I'm closer to 60 than 50, lol and hope to begin spending much more time in Italy each year. But, I am a worker and I can only handle so much 'down time'...
How hard is it to be in Italy 3 months a year and work? I have no idea where to start on this. Is it even possible?
Hi Dave and thank you so much for the support. I don’t have Patreon because I mean it’s a bit complicated or just not as simple as buy me a coffee. Unfortunately this is a hectic time in my life so when I have a spare time I make videos and if my time is divided too much the quality suffers.
When you say spend three months in Italy and work what exactly do you mean? Work 3 months in Italy ? If that’s the case I say it’s too difficult and at that point your best bet is to make money for yourself online. This is my goal and it’s really the most profitable. I’m sorry that I can’t offer but a solution but it’s difficult to pinpoint a more definitive answer because everyone’s situation is different.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly That is exactly the answer I needed. My wife can work remotely and I can get back into programming. Presently, I do construction.
Sorry if it sounded like I was telling you what to do. I'm much better with automated support than remembering to do something lol.
Thanks again for all the help!
About the dressing rules. In Italy we dress for the situation, as a form of respect for others and for a innate sense of beauty. So if you are at home, you can put on whatever you want. If you are going out, you need to dress for the situation: school, work, dinner at a restaurant. It’s not only for big events. If you go out for dinner you need to be properly dressed. You cannot go out at night with shorts and flip flops (witch I’ve seen a lot in the US). It’s a no, no, even if you are at the seaside.
About the friendship. Friends and family are everything. We help friends because we love them, not because we want something in return. The point is, everybody needs help at some point in life, you better have a friend to help you out.
So, if you come to Italy and mess up with food and clothes, we will instantly recognize you as foreigner, we will love you anyway, but we will definitely try to teach you how do eat and dress better.
Hi Analia
Oh sure I do believe that in most cases, the help is given because there is a genuine desire to assist the other person The point that I was trying to make in the video is that I think in southern Italy in particular, it’s embarrassing to have to remind the other person to return the favor. For them it’s so automatic that when somebody doesn’t return the favor, they are offended. Rightly so, but I still think that favor should be done without the expectation of getting something in return. This isn’t just my opinion, my wife was from Sicily tends to agree that in the south very often people expect something in return. But at the end of the day, it’s all subjective really
As for people not dressing properly, I think that is really difficult to educate foreigners in Italy, because clothing is part of our identity and people don’t usually take kindly to being told what to wear even when it’s done out of love, and in their best interest.
I was born and grew up in Italy and then I went to London. When I was in Italy I felt always out of place, because I didn’t care to dress up in summer time when I finished working. I went to the promenade to take a stroll and to enjoy my friends. I felt always uncomfortable being judged because oc that. So, it’s not always something to praise. People need to think their own business and let people live how they please. I’m not killing your mother if I prefer flip flops, shorts and t-shirt after work and going on the “passeggiata” close to the seaside.
In my family, it was common to stay in robe and pj's on Sunday if we weren't going to church. We'd go on Sat. evening. Nice robe, nice pj's, not ratty bathroom stuff. My Ukrainian MIL was horrified.
Even now, I dress carefully when I go out. I never wear trousers or jeans. only skirts and dresses. I just feel more comfortable. Of course if it were an occasion where jeans or shorts were needed. I would wear them.
People in Italy buy only the freshest ingredients and don’t shop at Costco for three month supply. Unheard of here, farmer’s markets are still full of Italians!
This is true most Italians don’t buy things in bulk. Somethings, however you can buy in bulk like bottles of water and pasta.
Many great points. Thanks. I’ll stay away from criticizing Italy. Maybe after ten years living there…. . Good thing I love calcio! Hockey..no thanks. I tried. Went to islander / ranger game. The fans scared me and I never saw the puck.
Ah well cross town rivals, there’s bound to be chaos ! How come you never saw the puck? Too fast for you?
@@DavidsDoseofItaly yes. Too fast. Oh it was chaos in stands.
Violent loud people?
@@DavidsDoseofItaly craziness in stands. Like the old joke “ I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.” Normal for this match up I hear
You have to forgive me but I never saw hostility in the stands when I went to hockey games. I’m sure it happens though
Ciao! I’m moving to Italy and I’d like it to know how I go about becoming a citizen? My mom father is a natural born Italian citizen and currently resides in his homeland! I have my American citizenship and need doppia cittadinanza! Suggestions? Guidance? Thank you!
Hi Mauro. first I would need to know the year in which your mother was born. This is important because the first born child abroad of an Italian citizen can be a woman but she must have been born after 1948. If that’s the case then you may have a greenlight. After that you need to collect all vital life certificates: birth certificate marriage certificate death certificate etc.
Since your father lives in Italy I would actually try and get your citizenship here Because from what I am hearing it is difficult to get an appointment at a consulate in the states and then when you do get one there’s a long wait. Best of luck!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly David, thank you for your quick reply and information! Both my rents are natural Italian born, raised & married, mother dearest renounced her citizenship & became an “American.” To this day, why she didn’t maintain dual citizenship baffles me. My father had a green card however, when he decided to return to his birth country, Italy, he didn’t renew his green card. All that said, my father is now 91 and permanently residing in Italy! My rents are close to a decade and a half apart, mother being “American.” From what I understand from “the powers that be; several townships, vigili & bosses
@@Mauro2570 Well fortunately it would seem that you still have a greenlight to be in Italian citizen and I would still get it through your father. If I am correct and if your mother became a US citizen after 1992 then you could still get it through her. You would need to check that information however. Whatever your life situation is I would deathly pursue dual citizenship because in the end it’s another option in life.
I often saw Italians arguing over who would pay. And often they, themselves, were unemployed.
Hi Rich. You are a wealth of information and stories. Thank you! Oh sure, I believe it, they don't have a job but their dignity must be maintained.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly What amazed me these people weren't talking about just buying a coffee for a friend, but buying a coffee for everyone. Most of the time I saw this was at the local soccer club bar/clubhouse. Usually there were maybe five or six people, but even still...
Oh no I totally believe it. But if you think about it buying six coffees at $.80 apiece really is not that expensive.
Great video David. Yes, I get it. As a visitor, tourist or resident in Italy I should be stingy with criticism of Italy and generous with praise ( at least until I get back home)! Italian tourists have no similar compunctions. Italian friends who come visit us have a list of complaints before they leave the airport. This continues on the drive home and during the entire stay. The food is not to their liking, They don’t like the tipping culture. Americans are too fat ( sorry, nothing I can do about that), downtowns look downtrodden, suburbs are boring, meal schedules are different than what they are used to, things close earlier than what they are used to, too much a/c etc etc etc. no mention of anything positive about the visit. They are like that in other countries and even their own. You wonder why they even bother traveling if everything is such a hassle for them. You also wonder how the Italian diplomatic service gets any applicants to the global world service where everything is “great” and everywhere is “nice”.
This is a nation of complainers. It’s in their culture. I remember once I went to a summer camp full of Italians in England and they were accompanied by their Italian public school teachers who complained the moment they arrived. I did something wrong at one point t and I told the head teacher to get the Italian hens away from me! I didn’t even want to hear it ! At times their complaining is valid but when you complain too often people stop listening.
Yes it s true , but dont forget it : italians like to complain about everything, but mostly about Italy. It s an italian habit , dont worry. Usually we dont complain with strangers about their country; but with strangers about our country !! But If i can complain about Italy , you cannot ! It s so ….
@@romanobenini3331 I disagree and I stand by my reasons in this video. I won’t be silenced just because I am not from Italy. I’ve contributed to this country and I’ve earned the right to complain. Besides the view of an outsider looking in is necessary because it allows you to observe things you take for granted, negative things I mean.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly my comment is not about you or your comment ! 😂😉 i said only that italians are used to complain about their country but dont like that foregners complain about Italy . “ i can do it but it s offensive If a not italian do the same thing”. It s an explanation. But sincerely i accept your video because you Are “ half italian” , and i dont like critics about my country from not italians. I think it s normal : there are too many stereotypes about italians in the world and i despise false representations ….
@@romanobenini3331 Thank you! I think criticism and stereotypes are strictly subjective and circumstantial. Sometimes are accurate sometimes they’re just ridiculous. I will admit though to this day there is certain Italian things that I don’t understand. It’s natural because I wasn’t born and raised here
Ciao David! The only thing I would add about criticizing Italy, is to say that if you are here in Italy only as a tourist, then it is never appropriate to criticize Italy. Grazie, Paul in Firenze
I'd say the same for visiting any country. Our countries all have their warts, but it isn't for me, the guest, to criticize.
It's like when your mother-in-law comes to visit and says "Your paint color is too bright!" Hey Ma, you don't live here, and are leaving on Friday... you can paint your house whatever color you want. 😝 (True story)
Paul Friday! How's it going in Firenze? Yea, I agree with you. I would say that you could criticize your host country if you see something blatantly wrong, violence for example. That's wrong anywhere.
Ah yes, the MIL. They want to feel important again.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly LOL. It would be one thing if she had any design experience 😃
I don't disagree with that you should return the favor if someone helps u but a lot of time when u ask that same friend that you help, when it time reciprecate, they won't. They will have every excuse not to help you.
That’s the last time those two friends help each other I suppose
You just need to find better friends. I don’t take notes of the thinks I do for my friends, as they don’t do it with me
I soldi ai novelli sposi xchè possano usarli x la casa o per il viaggio di nozze ..di solito!
Anche noi li abbiamo usati per la luna di miele.
Do u have to dress up for Church?
No. Not at all. If it’s a baptism or a wedding then yes.
Nice video, but hearing “dress up” and “fashion” while you put a tie on a button-down shirt it’s devastating 😂
Ha! I hadn’t considered that. But the point was to show how much I’m not fashionable !
I don't feel the pressure to return the favor but I always do because they're family and that's what you do for family, that's how I was raised. I live in Northern Italy, born in central Italy. But this doesn't only happen in Italy, my mom is Lithuanian and it's impossible to be faster than her at paying the bill 😂
Ha ! Really ? What’s her secret ?
@@DavidsDoseofItaly I wish I knew
Speaking of criticizing Italy ... You live in Italy, work and pay your taxes, it seems to me OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO CRITICATE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS NOT GOOD! Honestly, those who should keep quiet are the Italians who by choice work illegally and do not pay taxes along with all tax evaders! Everything these "cittadini modello" receive from the state, in the form of a public service, is a GIFT that we honest citizens and in general honest workers (as there are many honest workers in this country that do not have the Italian citizenship) do to them by paying for everything they enjoy for free ... and I stress for free, since by not paying taxes they do not contribute in any way to the payment of those many services that they use without limits starting from the public free healtcare!
True, tax evaders are a real problem
I am the opposite of a tax evader!
Hi Sebastian. In all honesty I really can’t remember somebody criticizing me for criticizing Italy. I think it happened a few times here in the comments in other videos but if you think about it it’s too easy to attack somebody behind the safety of a keyboard. To say to their face is a whole other matter. I think tax evasion is a learned habit and furthermore people do it because they see it as a challenge. I also think they do it because they blame the state for being incompetent. That might be true to a certain extent however change begins with the individual. Small gestures. For example I want my daughter to never see me litter Or being dishonest.
well... I'm Italian, and I HATE soccer. If it were up to me, I would burn the stadiums where soccer is played.
😄😄
5:18 i'm italian. This is absolutely true and absolutely ridiculous. I don't wanna pay like a ninja. No more!!😅
7:25 now i write in italian because is very hard to explain. Ho dei vicini di casa che provengono dal sud italia (in particolare uno vicino a napoli ed uno siciliano) e ho notato delle differenze: il napoletano cerca sempre di farmi dei favori anche se non glieli ho chiesti. Per esempio "ti serve questo trapano? Te lo presto. Il tosaerba? Eccolo". Per contro ha un atteggiamento strano. Diceva "bisogna essere gentili coi vicini perché non sai quando sarai tu ad aver bisogno." Infatti è venuto a chiedermi delle cose e dopo ogni richiesta concludeva con un racconto in cui qualcuno non lo aveva aiutato e lui aveva chiamato un avvocato... molto sospetto. Sembra quasi una minaccia. Il siciliano invece è risultato esageratamente ossequioso. Neanche fossi il sovrano di zamunda o del wakanda. Ci sono enormi differenze tra nord e sud e chi vive qui sa come queste creino delle tensioni mai del tutto risolte.
I think that exist 20 different types of italian, one for each region. And more.
I’ve also noticed this over politeness of Sicilians. It’s nice but yes a bit too much at times.
The Neapolitan way that you just mentioned sounds about right and for an American it’s a bit too good to be true. We’re used to fending for ourself more or less
Poveri vicini!
@@DavidsDoseofItaly Which is very sad when you think of it. I managed to give myself a black eye in Catania, don't ask! So I went to the Pescheria the next day to get some food. I had not been there. I stopped to buy some veggies and the guy saw my eye and said "What happened, your husband didn't do that did he?" He was furious. I explained that I am alone and that I fell against a table. Very weird for me but anyway. If I had said "yes, my husband," he would have come home with me and beaten him up, at the very least. I have to admit that I loved it.
Of course you can criticise Italy and the Italians! I’m Italian and I say I hate soccer. A bunch of boys in shorts running after a ball: ridiculous!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Nice and thank you!
About football... I don't see why I should say that "I'm not interested in football" when in reality I think it's one of the most boring games I can imagine and that I honestly hate! For me, watching a football match is a real punishment! And if football lovers don't like this, it's not my problem! I like to ski but if someone tells me that he hates skiing I'm not offended ... indeed, thank God, one less crowding the ski slopes ... more space for me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Moreover, I will not enter into the merits of what it costs the Italian state to keep hordes of imbeciles at bay! Criminals who use football as an excuse to give free rein to their bestiality!
Ihate calcio.......
I really dislike it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣. Nice. One less body on the slopes , that’s a very positive approach.
I find it boring for a few reasons.
The field is too big. Not enough goals or shots on goal. I’ll never understand how the game end at a specific time and often is up to the ref. Not the case in hockey or baseball
, dislike calcio.......i do dislike It!
about criticizing italy what you say it's true, but you forget to mention that italians are the worst critics on italy. for italians people every thing (except food and coffe) is done in a foreign country is better that in italy and whining about how things don't go well in italy is kind of a national sport
Absolutely true! We criticize a lot of Italian problems but like in a family I can criticize my family but if others do that I'm not happy 🙃
Italians have an extreme love hate love grrrr relationship with their country, YET they are subconsciously lost without it. Most Italians I'd say.
Non capisco come mai alla terza generazione avete potuto perdere la lingua italiana in famiglia!?
Non so se lo dici in modo ironico, ma ho una teoria. Dopo la seconda guerra mondiale la comunità titolo americana voleva diventare americani soprattutto perché l’Italia era un nemico degli Stati Uniti quindi volevano dimostrarsi americani anche loro. La prima cosa da cambiare è la lingua. Se continui a parlare un’altra lingua vuol dire che non ti interessa far parte del nuovo paese. Questa è la mia prima teoria. La seconda è che per natura l’italiano ha una capacità buona di integrarsi nel contesto in cui si trova. Quindi al primo posto l’America. Ripeto è solamente una mia teoria però la generazione di mio padre volevano essere riconosciuti come americani , quindi ho un po’ di esperienza di persona.
Your thought experiment about tolerating a 'foreigner' criticizing America was a nice try, but comparing America with countries like Italy is of limited value, IMHO. America is a giant, late 18th century, 'Enlightenment era' project, a 'proposition nation' which was never intended to belong to or be the physical manifestation of the power of any one tribe or ethnicity. Its founding mythos and cultural values were specifically written and codified by highly educated late 18th century men who were great believers in liberal democracy and Enlightenment-derived rationalism. It is deliberately 'a nation of immigrants'. Yeah, yeah, I know it started with an Anglo-Scottish super majority in the original 13 colonies, but very quickly there were waves of non-Anglo immigration, first by the Dutch and Germans, the Irish, then a whole bunch of other European peoples as the 19th century unfolded. And that's just white people. You also had the native Americans, African slaves, and Hispanics (especially in the South West).
That is the total opposite of the history of European countries and Asian countries. Those nations did arise from clearly defined ethnicities and linguistic-cultural traditions, and are therefore much more in-group orientated and aware of who is in-group and who is out-group. That is why there have been so many wars in Europe and also why it has been so much harder to integrate immigrants into Europe than it has been in America. And don't get me started on Asia! I mean, I have lived in China, Korea, and Japan, and those places are virtual ethno-states in all but name.
Anyway, my point is that while to the average American it may be less grating on the ears to hear a foreigner criticizing America, especially from one who has been living there a few years and pays taxes, etc., don't automatically assume that all people in older countries will be or even should be that 'tolerant'. And no, that doesn't mean they are 'bad' people or 'wrong' and it's an American's place to 'educate' them, lol. It's just that America and American values are very specific to a particular historical period (the Enlightenment) and philosophy (classical liberalism).
Hi. First thank you for interacting and engaging with my video, not to mention taking the time to leave your thoughts. I appreciate it, our time is valuable!
However let me be frank when I say I don’t like the words “nice try” when referring to my attempt at explaining criticizing the USA vs. Italy. I found it rather patronizing. Also, I disagree that it is less grating on the American ears to hear a foreigner criticize their country. If anything, it’s the opposite, I think many Americans are so proud of their country that it’s unwelcome to hear the opinion from a foreigner. Italians are more tolerant in this situation.
I don’t understand the relevance of explaining the historical and sociological developments of both continents when it comes to who is “allowed” to criticize their host country. Yes these developments did determine the ethnocentricity of both places, ok, however I don’t think that’s exactly relative because every country has your mix of folks who are both proud and also despise their country. In my video I don’t specify which country is more sensitive and that wasn’t the point. Mine was that their life conditions and circumstances make an immigrant comfortable and most importantly confident in their criticism of their host country because, objectively speaking they’ve earned it based on their own merits.
With real friends, exchanging favors
is part of the "deal".
Sure. It’s more important in Italy than in North America. I think it’s this way because North Americans aim to be more autonomous in every sense of the word. Italians, less in my opinion.
@@DavidsDoseofItaly i don't think it's a matter of autonomy. Italians have a different concept of friendship. A friend is not just anyone you know. I know many people but my real friends; that I can really relate to are very few.
Yes, it takes a while to become a real friend with an Italian. they have to know you quite well before you go from conoscente to amico