Lost my 14 year old son to suicide Feb. 3 2014. We had no clue as to why at the time. Only after a long period of grief (still grieving) did I start to add things up. I'm still not able to think about it for too long. If I focus too long on Anthony (my son) I begin to break. I can't afford to break, I have a six year old and a son graduating college. I'll just continue going forward I guess. No other choice.
There is no magical conversation that could have helped your son, certainly don't blame yourself. Teenagers very much act emotionally, against better judgement for which only time and maturity will give them a better perspective. I do wish psychology was more popular in my teenage years (the 90's) and people like Professor Jordan Peterson were around trying to help people for the sake of it. Focus on your boy and your young man now, and look after yourself.
Joe says he doesn't get it but he let someone talk about their mental illness for half an hour here. That's IT. That's by far THE BEST and in some cases the ONLY thing a friend can do in this situation.
YES!! That really stood out for me, too! Big kuddos to Joe for that. He acknowledged that he didn't understand it but he didn't invalidate his friend for feeling that way. He didn't say, "Just snap out of it!" He showed that he genuinely cared about his friend's well-being. That's what one needs when going through depression-someone who says, "I don't get it-but I'm going to help you." That's awesome, Joe!
As a survivor, Ari describes depression and suicide correctly. I do like when Joe covers these topics. Makes everyone feel human. Anyone reading this, thank you for being here. Keep it up.
Stfu no1 actually gives a fuck the world care only for themselves it selfish to even put your problems on som1 else get a set a get the fuck on with it
I’m so glad you fought through it. You should be proud of yourself. Those dark thought’s can be relentless. I really like when they get real like this too, I often feel weak or like a failure because of my dark periods but hearing others talk so openly about fighting the same fight is comforting. It makes me feel less alone. I don’t mean to sound selfish, I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy.
We are all humans. And as humans we have these emotions and feelings. Some of which can be very overwhelming and confusing and frustrating. Just talking about them takes so much energy and can be completely exhausting... Thank you to those who are out here trying to make a difference. Mental illness is real and extremely hard to think it's just a mind over matter situation. Thank you Joe Rogan for speaking on these issues! 👍🏻👍🏻
Feelings mutual. It's been so difficult, but I'm trying my best. All the best. You're not alone. No one is. No matter how much it feels like we are. I know we all feel that way.
My son died of suicide 11 years ago He was 29. I have a lot of guilt due to the circumstances. I have to remind myself that I tried to save him. I could never be angry with him. His pain was unbearable for him. He is free of pain now. He hurt so bad that he thought everyone would be better without him.. He was too good to stay, it hurt him too badly the way humans treated each other. I miss him everyday. My life changed that afternoon. I am a different person who will always have a hole in my heart until we meet again. Suicide touches my heart everytime I hear of one..
I’m so sorry. My son has mental illness and has been suicidal many times. I try to save him from doing it. It’s an overwhelming feeling. Blessings to you. 💕
I’ve realized the true nature of life and there’s no escape now but death. I scream everyday that I’m ready to die after barely making it through a work day.
Robin Williams once said: "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone” Back in 2016, I came real close to ending my own life. I found myself in a very dark situation. I’m glad I walked out of space that I was in and got help. For anyone going through something that is reading this, it’s not too late to get help.
@@Autumn_meadow It does not change the impact, no. I'm just wired to be overly pedantic and wanted to point out the context of his having said that. :)
I lost my mom to suicide about 2 months ago. I’m 19 and its the hardest thing I’ve been through. I’ve had suicidal thoughts but I know I’ll never do it because of how much pain my mom doing it caused. I was the last person to talk to her and we had an argument. It’s hard not to blame myself. There were so many signs in hindsight.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I promise you that your mom’s decision had nothing to do with you. I promise you that there is nothing you could have done. I promise you that it’s not your fault, you’re not to blame, & you deserve all the love in the world. And no matter what your last interaction was with her, that does not have to define you. Maybe you could think about writing to her. One time or a thousand times, if it helps. Talk about her, write about her, find yourself, find your own way through your heartache, your anger, your pain. Allow yourself to Feel every emotion thoroughly, every time, for the rest of your life because the only wounds that don’t heal are the ones we don’t take care of. And when they heal, there is still a scar, that’s normal. There is no such thing as “getting over” the loss of a loved one especially the early traumatic ones. Everything we love deeply becomes a part of us that cannot be lost. I’m sending my love to you because love is what you need most now, more than ever. ❤
Thank you for being here you being here and dealing with the thoughts you have ab her it is what keeps her memory alive you being here is what keeps a little piece of her still here
They can lock up your body, They can not lock up your mind. Just because you sit in a cell doesn't mean you have to be there. I project my body to places seen in my mind :)
I relate to that, I've had to deal with lots of deaths and broken relationships or friendships and a piece of my heart goes with most. Sometimes a little hole gets filled in by something else, but it's a balance thing. God Bless❤
I fully identify with the sleep. My life so dull and anxious right now my favourite time of the day is bedtime and the worst is when I open my eyes and daylight is breaking
You just described my situation perfectly. I'm in a dark place right now, hope your doing better then when you posted! My favorate time is when I sleep! It's sad in the am for me! Wasn't always like this! I hope I can snap out of this!
I feel you bro i been like this for awhile too and my bestfriend just passed away the one person that made me truly happy and i thought it was harder before now its just miserable
I was a fan of Anthony Bourdain's show "No Reservations". Although I never met him in person, the day I heard of his death it hit me pretty hard to the point of crying. And the same thing when I heard about Robin Williams. Suicide could happen to anyone at anytime. Suicide does not discriminate, you could be old or young, healthy or sick, rich or poor.
Only if you are Mentally Ill Suicide is a joke and not an option for Sane Ppl Do we really need are want depressed ppl to live and project their negativity on society. No Matter Where You Go There Your Mental State Is
It’s so interesting to see him say he missed his depression because it was a part of his identity. As someone who is chronically depressed and got medication, I don’t miss it at all. It made me feel like I finally got to my full potential. It’s like when you’re underwater and you finally come up for a fresh breath of air
Coming to see that beyond the depression, life still isn't great for a plethora of other reasons, alot of which are universal and considered normal can make longing for your depressive days a conceivable idea to me. But yeah.. interesting.
Personally, it feels weird and wrong when it’s not there, so it’s kind of alarming because I know it’s not normal and perhaps I’m vulnerable for it to hit me again harder.
Mark Santos it helps. Not 'the cure' but it helps. If anything helps just taking the person outside for a walk, some light and social interaction defo take the edge of it.
Working out and talking to a friend that has been there and is now out of depression helps. Ive dealt with depression all my life and ive contemplated suicide many times. A few months ago i was in that black hole and i paid a friend a visit, he was going through depression and anxiety as well. Talking to him and knowing i wasnt alone in the way i felt helped. He turned me on to st. Johns wort pills that night and so at that point i thought what do i have to lose? I took 2 st johns wort pills a day along with 1omega 3 a day and ive been feeling better since, im still taking them and i cant say that is what got me out of depression completely or its a placebo effect, but oddly enough i do feel alot better. Another thing that helps alot is listening to music and watching old feel good movies or shows that made me feel good as a kid. I hope this helps someone outhere battling with depression.
I had struggled with serious crippling anxiety for 7+ years and the hardest part was actually noticing that how I think / the way I go about my day to day is not normal. It wasn't until I actually opened up to somebody close to me that I got a different perspective on my own mindset and figured out that my mind was abnormal and giving me a falsified perception of reality (in this case, hyper criticism and neurotic thinking). I legitimately grew to think that my thinking patterns were entirely normal and acceptable. Only now that I'm medicated and healthy I can look back and wonder how the hell I even grew accustomed to living every day fighting with my own mind.
Lost my sister in law in 2022 . Just days prior we danced and laughed. We made lunch plans for the next week. They found her 3 days later in corn field self inflicted gun shot. Time does not heal and still so many unanswered questions..... she was amazing beautiful women
I had an extension cord in a noose hanging in my garage. Luckly nephew knocked on the door and interrupted me from doing it. That's when I got help been 3 good years.
What stands out to me the most is how curious Joe is about clinical depression. You can tell he’s never had to deal with it. As someone who is clinically depressed for the last 20 years, seeing people who don’t have to deal with it always surprises me. It’s such an everyday part of life for people afflicted with it, that we eventually began to assume most people feel this on some level. But they don’t. That’s the hardest part for me, is having something nobody but a therapist or other depressed people can relate to, and since clinical depression is still very taboo, it is a very lonely existence to have these daily struggles only for people to have no idea how bad they can get.
His description of carrying too much weight and just wanting to sleep is the most honest description of what having suicidal thoughts that I've ever heard. And the whole, "just get up and exercise". Like dude we can't get out of bed and eat let alone exercise
There are bad days of depression but he is right, sometimes you just need to get up. I’ve had depression and thank God I’ve overcome it and never needed pills. Lost my mom, dad, became an alcoholic, college dropout, dui and the list continues and I thought I’d never get out of that hole. But diet, exercise, and God got me though it after 6 years of misery. Everyday is still a battle but joe is right, sometimes you just gotta get up
Yeah, it's the thing. We know what needs to be done to feel better, yet you just can't do it. It's like being in a mental fog or extreme ocd where you're on a loop you can't get off, you think of different things to try to get yourself out of it mentally but end up back on the same loop within seconds. Clinical depression is the shits. Wish I could afford medication to get my cast but just powering through it the only way I can.
I used to be depressed, it’s really just not wanting to get out of bed and not wanting to do anything, it’s also wild because you don’t care as much about your life so your wreck less. I was fighting a lot and doing drugs, which didn’t help
@Daryl Halliday I agree with Daryl. To me its the feeling of hopelessness. What is the fucking point of it all. in 100 years from now, no one will remember you. in 200 years from now no one will even have a thought, a fucking thought for a second about you. If your famous, in 500 years no one will remember you. and and and, in probably 100,000 years humanity will be gone. Whats the fucking point of existence? Having fun? yep good point, but what if you're disabled, depressed, can't walk, can't talk, 3 people are working for you around the clock so you can survive. I'm no Stephen Hawking dear. if its ok for this person to have a reason to commit suicide then every one can, or should.
To the fathers of young children who are struggling, I lost my father to suicide when I was 6 years old and I can tell you from experience it leaves a lot of devastation behind. I know life can be hard I've had suicidal thoughts my whole life but please try and push through for your children's sake.
I’m very sorry My best friend kill himself and left his daughter behind and his son too That was a terrible tragedy. I can’t believe it. No one knows why he did it . I don’t know you but I care about you I wish I can help you and everyone in this world I would like to have that power
Yes. It's exactly because of my deep deep sense of responsibility for my children that I didn't do it. My childhood trauma is why I wanted to and consequently wanting to raise my own kids to be healthy resilient adults is why I won't.
Depression is worse than death. At least when you're dead, you don't feel horrific and totally, utterly miserable every day, wishing you haven't survived the night and hope you don't survive the day or night to trudge through another day of existence. I'm glad the world is discovering depression is a real thing to be open about and accept. I spoke to my parents and a therapist, and it helped more than I thought it would 😊
Ari did the greatest possible explanation of all of the tangled components on the mystery of depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors. I am a “young” 67 year old woman having over 11 counselors and psychiatrist, one psychiatrist was for 16 years. I have tried over 20 combinations of meds. The last 3 years I gradually changed so many things in my life, including quitting alcohol. Still smoking pot but usually just later in the evening. As Ari said, it was part of my internal identity. Everyone identified me as the life of the party. Pressure I put on myself. I would only leave the house if I knew I could be “on”. I have since tried to sit back and relax and enjoy the moment in all aspects of my life experiences. I am great-full for all of the ups and downs of my mental health, as they have taught me compassion and made me a good listener.
The sleep part is so true you constantly feel that sleep is a cure and when you awake you cant wait to go back to that. What a fucked up object the brain can be.
Really hit the nail on the head with needing 2 different terms… I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression all of my 40 years I can remember. You can be down, and then you can be in a vortex that is sucking you down faster than you can process it… this was a great interview.
The way I explain my clinical depression to someone is that just being conscious feels constantly wrong, horrible, and exhausting. I'd constantly be asleep to get away from consciousness. So the way I have always understood someone who has clinical depression and commits suicide, is that their looking for that permanent and absolute unconsciousness that sleep gave me, and I assume many others who have clinical depression.
I think another new way this has manifested in society in recent history is the constant passing of time through media (UA-cam, Films, Songs etc.) Personally, for the last year and a half, have lay on my bed all day and wasted countless hours watching youtube. No memories, happy or sad have been experienced, just nothing. I think what you say is true and have always felt like im only watching these youtubers and other peoples lifes because i dont want to think about my own. It is very much like a state of unconciousness as you never actually have an emotional experience; you're literally just watching other people do things; passing the time and waiting for something to happen, but you have no clue what the fuck that thing is.
Joe Curran i dont think he means sleeps helps with the depression directly. All it does it indirectly allows you to not have to think any negative thoughts, well, because you're obviously unconciouss and its impossible. Sleep is that temporary relief you can get, even though it is not really a relief because you're literally just shutting off. Real relief would be feeling good, smiling, laughing or just forgetting about your depression for a moment. But in the twisted mind of a depressed person, sleep enables you not to even have to think about anything. You're right though, when you wake up it starts all over again and thats why your mind wants your body to stay in bed all day and chase that 'unconciousness' through sleep as much as it can. For the relief from negative thoughts. Hope that makes sense. If i'm not making sense it is because i've been up for around 48 hours and cant sleep 😨 now thats a fucking catch 22 like crazy lol. welcome to the mind of depressed person where nothing makes sense 😂
The worst thing for me was, when you're knee deep in the depression it feels like this state of living will NEVER change. You're 100% convinced that it won't get better. Ever. This leads to hopelessness... which ofc leads to thoughts about just ending it all.
Man, Ari was really on point in this. They way he described almost everything was so true and real. He put things into words that i just never could, but he nails it.
Exercise helps temporarily as long as you can bring yourself to actually do it. When you're genuinely depressed, just getting out of bed and putting on clothes is mentally and physically draining. Trying to get yourself to exercise after that is almost impossible.
Yes. I use to cry just get my legs of the damn bed. Would never dare let others see this way. But i swear it was like physically feeling like i was peeling my skin off the bed.
@@MonkeyDIvan I’m sorry for whatever is troubling you to think you have the right to tarnish how my parents raised me.. I bet you think you’re really tough saying that behind a computer screen. You wouldn’t have the balls to say that to my face. But that’s ok, like I said. I’m sorry you’re a miserable fucknut who sees no reason but to put me down further. Would love to know why you felt the need to put this.
This right here is why no matter what trouble this man gets into on social media I will always always love and respect his level of insight on things like this. This was the podcast I truly came to love ari
We can't lie to our souls and our souls no longer are one, we can't live without a drum beat of a heart, Anthony Bourdain had the best foodie job, newly married new baby daughter. Hard Candy with Ellen Page, props i actually wanted the Vigilante to get caught. We have to have equality somehow, and i see easy fixes butt people refuse to even try. 😜🤗💋
@Dick Thick'em Hi bud, it might not be accurate in relation to your subjective experience of depression, and there are obviously objective commonalities between people's experience of it, but it is different in nature for each person so is true to his own expressed hardship.
@@keenansmith2509 sure that’s true but I have depression and have struggled with it for a few years now and this is accurate to me too, we’re not saying it’s that way for everyone so chill
Not being heard or valued or respected and all your efforts going unnoticed marked as difficult as a child or adult so just being tired of fighting the looks the whispers the tone of voice the dismissals so I understand as I was there and I know that slippery slope - just know you can come out of it but not entirely through it it’s daily weekly practice to make a difference to those who you deem matter ! Much love to who is readsing this YOUVE GOT THIS one foot in front of the other because you matter and always have 💜
This is very true. I just found that someone who was a very close friend of mine from last year commit suicide today and he was always the type of person who couldn’t hurt a fly and was kind to everyone even complete strangers. He also seemed like a very happy person and brought up people around him. But what was on the inside must have told a completely different story.
Yes, westcoastsands. Sometimes depression may cause a little bit of carelessness, which can lead to accidents, too. So, death is not always intentional, for a depressed person. That's why you want to be careful, love yourself and be kind to yourself and others. 💕
Having severe depression its like being possesed by a demon.You cant explain it to others.
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people reject negativity and ignore my. BS... like they. are saying do it or shut up . asking family members for recourse to find help and being ignored.. dunno what to. do .
I think this all the time. It’s BLACK AS NIGHT the thoughts I have and I think to myself, god!? am I actually possessed by an entity that’s putting this in my head? If I even TRY to explain it to others they’d bang me up and throw away the key. You have to TRY to accept the good in your life, even if it’s only something tiny and build on it. Be grateful for the little things. It starts to grow. Then exercise, even if it’s only a little until you get a bit more energy and then find your best friend you have and tell them how you feel. Start small and try and grow the things that make you happy and smile.
@ Go to a counselor or therapist. Or join a group where you can talk about it. I've dealt with depression for a while now with periods of success and I've tried all three and they really helped. But the most help I ever had was a mentor. Some things work better for some people, but the sooner you can start getting help the better. Some therapists/counselors are shit, but some are amazing. And once you find one that's really good you'll most likely start getting better. Just do whatever you can to find a counselor or therapist type person or mentor to talk to. Trust me, it will help.
I lost a close friend of mine years ago to suicide. I found out through a call by his sister, it was horrible. When his sister called it was only minutes after he took his life, his mom was wailing in the background and she’s trying to talk with me about what happened through a broken and crying voice, his dad in total denial screaming no over and over. He was only 17
@Elizabeth Heyenga because those details really spoke to me! It made me think of my daughters crying no no no if I were to ever leave thus world. Sorry for your loss
@@elizabethheyenga9277 your being an ass to someone who loss a friend to suicide because you don’t wanna hear about it, if your can’t handle the heat then get out the kitchen
@@elizabethheyenga9277 Because someone thinking of suicide might at least hear about the reality of the pain their family would have to go through. It may be enough to convince them not to do it.
@@elizabethheyenga9277 the conversations this post is inspiring is what's truly great about it. If you do t understand, don't insult people. Just leave. Jesus man. The irony is unbelievable. The awful way human beings treat one another is a huge reason people end their own lives at their own hands. And for those they leave behind, talking about it and supporting one another a key part of the therapeutic process they need to heal. Insulting someone for that is beyond disgusting. You need to have a long look in the mirror today, ma'am. The internet CAN be used for good too, you know. Maybe something to think about in between your cat videos & looking for people to put down.
Bourdain. Chris Cornell. Robin Williams. Greg Escalante. My dad. My cousin Shelley. They all were a gut punch to me. Exercise, sunshine, my dogs, praying, art, my wife & THC have always helped me keep the balance. But the heaviness is never very far away. Working on a small series of painting's of the people above. I hope their souls found peace.
He isnt dead..just his character was killed. He got oit and became someone different. Many have learned from past mistakes and somehow where able to be, saved by a force or forces more like it. I cant prove this other than saying i am picking up on a vibration when i hear or see them.
I want to die but the thought of my mom finding out that i killed myself brakes my heart so I cant bring myself to do it. I love my mom so much I cant stand the thought of her crying.
Exactly why I'm still here, bro. And I'm thankful, because now I'm happy, and my mum will never know she saved me. All the best man. 'Know' you'll get through it.
"Don't give up the fight to stay alive even if you have to find the reason of another's pain if they lose you. If not for yourself, then those around who care like I do. One day you'll see the clear blue, beyond the grey sky." -311, "Beyond the Grey Sky"
Take strength in that. From a young age I always saw suicide as "a bad trade", in the sense that MY problems and pain being taken away isn't worth my family and friends hurting if they lost me. I had thought that way long before I had depression, so now anytime I have suicidal thoughts, it is always a lingering thought in the back of my head that holds me back from acting on those thoughts and I am so thankful for that. I feel that having that mind set for so long, and having developed that mental barrier has saved my life time and time again. Let that feeling of love for your mom take over in the moment, sometimes its enough to distract you until someone else gets home, or until the feeling passes. Self awareness isn't easy to master, especially so for people suffering from depression, but it is such a helpful tool in recovery. So when you have that little reminder of your mom, lean into it, that is your connection with reality at that point and having a connection to reality when considering suicide is so important. Whether you know it or not, youre a fighter. I wish you all the best on your journey, and hope you have access to a good support system.
I have major depression illness. I get times in my life where the depression is so bad that my life stops. A major depression is best described in my terms as living with a pressure or weight, that’s pushing down your entire soul physically mentally. It’s like if I piled a bunch of rocks on top of you and told you to live your life and then made you wade through mud every time you had to get up to do something.
A college roommate of mine confessed that the only thing stopping her from killing herself was how upset her parents would be. We weren't good friends but I told her, "Well I would miss you. I think a lot of other people would too. Your mind won't let you see it right now but you do matter."
i loved this segment, definitely Top of the lis of favorites from Joe and Ari, as someone whos had years of therapy and counseling. Ive attempted suicide (a serious attempt) a few times and suffered from losing ones close to me from suicide I've come to realize that suicide isnt something thats meant to be understood (I.E. why did they do it, what were they feeling in those last moments) its only meant to be accepted. Thats the key (for me) to be able to move past the loss.... words cant describe the feeling that ive felt when ive tried to cash my chips in...... Just try to be there for them as much as u can if u know someone contemplating suicide and if they do it at least u know u did everything u could... either way it's gonna hurt getting that news, but you wont lay awake going crazy about "what could i have done? could i have done more?" its a process. Sometimes it hurts less knowing you did all you could. ... Love the raw thoughts of processing emotions and mental illness in this segment 💪
This is one of the most candid and honest conversations I have ever heard. I was able to check boxes in my head of feelings I had when I struggled years ago. It still tries to rear its ugly head sometimes but I’m able to recognize it for what it is and deal with it. Great conversation.
I think I would have if my parents weren’t dead and I didn’t have a daughter... I watched my parents fight w/ all their heart and lost the battle to cancer and obesity... if I entertained suicide I’d be a coward .. this life goes fast enough, it’ll be over before long.. no need to rush it...
@@d-complexakasnypermclivedr9549 ig I’m not😔I don’t feel like I’m y’all fr I feel different it’s cool tho bitch fuck yo attitude I was just bussin balls
Thanks so much for this. I've dealt with depression nearly all my life and I'm 52 now. Been off and on medication so many times. I am saving this video just to remind me that there is a way out. So appreciative of this way of talking about this topic. Also, getting a dog helped me out greatly.
i have been dealing with it by myself since i was 10 and these days, I live abroad my wife gets depressed so I cant talk to her about it as she will say "ah i did this by bringing you here" i really cant talk to anyone about it. think it's like a cloud, sometimes you struggle, and sometimes its a more clear sky, that being said like he said your brain is lying to you, so I might think its clear and I might be miserable compared to a normal guy, no idea once you have it long term its really hard to find a baseline as to what normal is
I've had brutal depression... I got a dog 6 months ago .she drives me insane but I feel like I have a purpose to take care of something...❤ Give your pup a kiss!
Honestly I have always been extremely against getting prescribed for any type of anti depressants (for myself idc what other people do) because I knew people at a young age who either ended up having them as a gateway drug to other things that they developed addictions to or they just were never able to function without them. That scared me and made me decide that I would deal with things all on my own. I had to do it and get over it without any outside help. My views have started to shift, I still feel like I need to be extremely cautious but this talk really helped giving me a different perspective
I know someone that will most likely finish their life early but day in and day out they constantly deny help from my end. So advice like this is difficult to implement. Nothing I can do but wait.
Just having someone that cares unconditionally without judgement, is an incredible help. The thought of not being in control and feeling hopeless is deadly. Thank you for this segment.
Unconditional is problematic though, not letting someone hit rock bottom with their meth addiction, oh he stole more from me, ah I must give him some more money Then
I’m literally going insane I am so depressed I survived cancer but the side effects of the medications after being pumped with systemic poisons are causing me to get further and further away from being able to be myself. I’m not reaching out because I am afraid to hear that I am just in my head and I’m keeping myself in this dark place and in some sick way I’ve found refuge in Isolation but I’m so unhappy. I’m afraid to even be seen by my friends because I’m embarrassed to say that I’m paralyzed by my depression that I have lost my ambitions in life and I’m not able to forgive myself and I’m not expecting anyone else to but, I’m afraid that I’m not going to get better because I don’t see it myself and I’ve thought about committing suicide to no feel this invisible pain but I want to live I just got lost in the chaos that came when I got diagnosed with cancer. Almost going on 8 yrs now and I haven’t been the same.
Me too brother. I don’t know how old you are but I’m 23. I don’t even remember how I used to be before treatments. I hope you have the courage to continue!
I feel very similar. I can't forgive myself for things I've done and am crippled by fear. It's been like this for months now and I don't want to die either but so many things are fucked up like my reputation that I don't see any other choice. It's so disappointing to me and I'm extremely disappointed with myself for taking good things for granted. I feel like everyone dislikes and thinks I'm a bad person now. Just going through hell alone and the worse part is maybe it was self-inflicted. But either way, I suffer and don't want to live with this enormous shame or regret. I just want understanding, forgiveness and to be liked. I want the same opportunities as other people and not to be judged or labeled as my mental illness. It's so upsetting and I can't bare this mental torture anymore. So I know what you might be going through! 😔💔
Therapy really helps. I had to remove myself from toxic people as much as possible. I had to make myself get out in nature and physically take care of myself to feel better. My bipolarity was extreme. And now I'm much better. I simply cannot be around manipulative or jackass people. I just cut them out cause it's pointless to be around them. Of course they still exist. But doing that helped me with my manic depression a lot.
You NEED to reach out. At this point, the only thing that's stopping you (perceptively) is your own doubts that those around you will love you. Your friends and family will still love you, even more than they do now. You need a support system. Please take it from someone that is slowly coming out of your shoes. PLEASE use your lifelines, because as time goes on, that's exactly what your loved ones are: LIFE LINES. ❤ you can do this!!!
You just did reach out on UA-cam brother to a bunch of strangers, take what you just said to all of us and send that message to your friends and loved ones it took me years and when I came out with all my depression and insanity to my people.. 1. I found out who my real friends were and they won’t allow me to go down that dark rabbit hole anymore. And 2. My loved ones broke down and made me promise to tell them next time before it ever gets to that dark of a place, and your loved ones will do the same. “Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it getting better.” That quote and my loved ones and support system of friends doesn’t mean the demons are gone, it just means that I have weapons now to help me fight it and when your not fighting it alone life is worth living. HANG IN THERE!!!!!
As someone who suffers from major depressive disorder (among other things), just want to say kudos for an excellent show. This real and raw conversation about how it feels is what people need to hear. Thank you. Both.
Ive suffered from depression and alcohol abuse for about 10 years. depression for about 15. and this guy is spot on. I think it started with extreme anxiety and then slowly developed into depression and substance abuse. Shit is crazy!
@@giuffre714 you’d know if you were suffering from depression. Being sad and depression is like equating a grain of sand to the entire size of the universe
I have fought this demon many times. As someone with adhd my life is filled with depression alot of the time. I use to think people who killed themselves were cowards and taking the easy way out, but I was wrong. It takes alot to get to this point, I can't imagine taking that one step further. Lucky for me my ADHD makes me feel so much guilt about built about the pain I would leave behind pined, I'm just too scared to do it.
Hey bro, I’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist recently. I personally thought I was just a super sensitive and anxious person, but a couple people have pointed out I could have ADHD. My mood heavily is swayed by things that happen externally, and the only way I am able to regulate my mood is by boxing (weightlifting used to work but it wasn’t that stimulating, especially compared to boxing where I’m punching and avoiding punches). But outside of boxing and staying fit, I am very lazy and work as a waiter. But I also don’t really know if I would want to take medication to fix my problems. Have you seen a professional? And what was your experience like?
@@epicipodmodz well this is a much deeper subject then one thinks. Yes I have seen a Dr, but I highly recommend watching some videos on ADHD and Manic Depressive before seeking help. These two overlap each other so much that you can easily be misdiagnosed as Manic depressive if you are ADHD. I first started seeing a Dr. when I was very young. Then by 15 I stopped and stopped taking meds. I thought it was just fake. Then in my 30s I realized adhd was more real then I had known and accepted that my adhd was causing me issues in life. Meds definitely help, they can also make the depression worse, so I had to stop again for now. However it's not just meds, it's a whole lot more needed to truly make a change. If you need any help or advise I'm always happy to answer
@@zaizoesclashing7103 I told my primary care doctor I’d schedule something with a therapist, but I haven’t done it yet 😅 it all seems so complicated, I could be prescribed meds and it could just make things worse. I currently smoke a lot of weed, and it kinda makes me less anxious… I guess, or I definitely feel like it helps me be numb to what’s going on in my mind. Idk bro, I guess I’m kind of lost and at this current point in my life I’m just focused on boxing and everything else I’m dissatisfied with. (I also got out of a relationship where I got cheated on which really screwed with me). Any kind of guidance would help 😅
"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling." - David Foster Wallace
I wish more people were like David Foster Wallace. A lot of people are so short sighted that they criticize something before even questioning themselves if they understand it.
Kinetic Vibe do you think maybe like if sum one were trying to extor anthony bourdain with sum compremising pics ( just a example) then the fact that he already has a past with depresion wich they say u never fully escape from, could of theoretically broke the camels back?
It is actually a side-effect of being rendered godless, and involves demonic spirits that infiltrate your thoughts, but the occult spiritualists that established the academic field known as "psychology", a manufactured paradigm (supported by other doctrines of demons - evolution, heliocentrism, etc. - that came from the Masons' Royal Society and elsewhere) convinced their indoctrinated victims that the mind is merely apart of the natural materialistic physical plane of experience, and the various cures for 'depression' are so misguided within this paradigm because the framework is purposefully misleading to never really cure you; that cure is actually spiritual, and it is found through repentance to God, our Creator, the heavenly father and one true God, and from here, the peace, hope, and joy of your renewed spirit that you're blessed with by hearing and placing faith in gospel of his only begotten son, Christ Jesus, thus living righteously in his name for eternal life
Ari describes mental illness so perfectly here. I can identify with so much he says. It's good to hear someone speak honestly about the different aspects of "depression". Discussions like these have to happen more. I feel a bit better about myself as well. Depression is a bitch. Hope one day I can find the right combo of meds and lifestyle to get out of my own dark place.
Matthew Diehm don't know you, but I'm rooting for you brother, as I'm in the same boat in a different ocean. Keep telling the salesman in your head that he's full of shit.
The segment at the end where Ari talks about shifting the focus by saying things that you're thankful for out loud and how eventually it improved his mood, is brilliant. As someone who has struggled heavily in the past this is a really amazing piece of advice I wish I would have had.
I am diagnosed with major depression, it’s like walking up a mountain while pulling a mountain with a mountain pushing you down the mountain. Eventually I’ll let the 2 mountains meet.
I've never heard someone describe depression better than Ari just did. Good for both of them for discussing this and getting it out in the open. Rogan seems like a good friend.
Thanks for the video! I lost my father, brother, sister-in-law, and both grandfathers to suicide. I was too young (12) to do anything for my grandfathers, and it was kept very quiet. The day before my father did it, I told him I loved him and was excited to see him the next day: we were going to see him and my mom for breakfast. He gave no indications that he was suicidal, though he did have good reason to be. He was always deeply melancholy and rarely spoke to me anyway. His suicide ripped my world apart: I barely knew my father and now I never would. My brother's first attempt wasn't obvious: he ran his motorcycle off of the road in Las Vegas and was in a coma for three months. It seemed an accident. But he recovered quickly, returned home and succeeded about 6 months after he was released from recovery. I'd had a conversation with him the day before. He seemed down. I said, "Bro? Are you okay? You're not thinking of going out like dad did, are you?" "No, Tee!" he said. We talked for a while longer. We had a good conversation, undistorted by my mother's manipulation, for we'd both cast her out of our lives. When we were finished with the conversation, he said, "I wish we could have talked like this all of the time." I said that I agreed and looked forward to more. The next day, his wife called to tell me he was dead from an overdose. And then she (my sister-in-law) killed herself, too, after taking every pill she had in her house and drinking herself to death. There was no reaching her: she was so detached from reality by this point. I was, too. These latest three suicides happened between 2001 and 2005. I will say that the burden that suicide places on the still-living is unimaginable. Each time it felt like the universe opened a hole and swallowed me entirely, and there was never time to even try to move on from the last one before another, and another, and another suicide. I can't see "recovering" from this, from suicide after suicide of so many important people in my immediate family, to suddenly go traipsing through the Cult of Happiness's exuberant flatulence, hoping to get high off of the fumes of apparent Jungian bliss that so many claim comes easily to them, but instead I find ways to transmute the experience into something useful, if not for me, then at least perhaps for someone else. I struggled with depression growing up; what I experience now is psychotic depression. I won't deny that my "special tea" made from of psilocybin and cannabis provide the kind of "cast" that Ari discussed. In fact, Joe Rogan, your discussions figured heavily in my research and final decision-making process to try psilocybin, so thank you for being so open about your experiences. Intentional, compassionate listening, without platitudes or advice, can help some people, but there are some who cannot be reached, and that's no one's fault. I can tell you that *tough love is not the way to go*. Do not play with a suicidal person's emotions. Be nice. Listen. Don't interrupt. Don't give advice. If they want to talk, let them talk. For example, in 2011, I crashed my car in my own suicide attempt. After being in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom called and asked me, "Where should I send the razor blades so that you can finish the job right?" (Like I said, my father had good reason to commit suicide. This is normal behavior for my mother). The three days I spent in the hospital on 1-to-1 observation, having the chance to talk and grieve with someone, did more to soothe my nerves than all the previous years of therapy. Here's a little bit more on my general take on suicide and how I deal with it: www.quora.com/Why-do-people-call-others-selfish-because-they-want-to-kill-themselves-and-apparently-betray-their-family-Wouldnt-they-be-selfish-because-they-are-trying-to-force-someone-to-suffer-by-living
This is late but I hope things are holding up for you. Life is tough and unfair but you are a strong person. You have a purpose. Just reading your post makes me have hope in my own personal struggle.
i too suffer from depression, though thankfully the worse of the feeling like shit and everything is meaningless, has greatly lessened over the years, but there are times rare as they thankfully are now, of which i have suicidal thoughts and feelings of loneliness and worthlessness, but what helps me is realizing that i do in fact truly have people that actually care about me as few as they are, of which i am blessed and to gather the courage to talk to them when i need help
R.I.P to a legend. Lost one of my best friends when he shot himself. I had guilt for a long time because we had a fight 2 weeks before he did it. All the signs where there and I felt I failed him as a friend. I still wish I would of did more, but you can't blame yourself. If anyone out there is going thru this please know that things can and will get better. Reach out and let your closest people how your feeling. Realize that the pain your feeling can be fixed. Don't leave your loved ones in pain after you decide to take your life. If you can go out and help others do it. it helps me to be of service to other less fortunate. Spread love and change can happen. R.I.P to one of the best friends a guy like me could of asked for Luv and miss you BIG NOSE everyday. R.I.P. TO SCOTTY "BIG NOSE" BARRETT
This was an insightful conversation but the biggest thing I took from it maybe even (sadly) was how joe talk to his children when they make mistakes. I mean what an absolute loving father. I wish everyone had one
Dude, I am a rape survivor and I was really little when it happened. It started when I was nine and I put him behind bars when I was about 15. I have struggled with mental shit my entire life. And I swear this is probably the most honest discussion about what depression really is and how it really feels. And having men talk about it was really cool because it kind of seems like it’s harder for men to talk about stuff like this. I absolutely love this. Comics are the shit because they’re honest. All their stuff comes from a very honest place if they’re a good comic. It’s hard to be honest with yourself when you’re depressed. Good job Joe n ari
I came within an inch of jumping under a NYC subway train. I got meds and serious therapy.....The meds worked and so did therapy. At 67....I found love and my life is awesome. Beyond my wild dreams. Never give up !!!!!!
As someone who has had suicidal ideations and diagnosed with major depressive disorder since age 18 (30 now), I’d say the best thing someone can do for someone else in that situation is just to be there for them. Let them know that you’re there for them if they want to talk or hangout or anything. Check in on them many times, even if they don’t respond back. Suicidal people will isolate themselves so they often won’t pick up the phone or respond to texts when someone checks in on them. Reaching out multiple times even with no response really shows that you care, and will often initiate a response. At least that was my experience when I was going thru a very difficult time in my life and was surprised one day to find a 2nd text from a friend asking how I was. I never even replied to the 1st text, so that 2nd one made me feel as tho she really did care. I guess it’s the feeling that comes from trying to push everyone away but some (very few) care enough to still be there. Ari says it perfectly at 24:14 &beyond: just being there for them but not requiring anything of them. And tough love indeed does NOT work. I’ll always remember Courtney love saying how that “tough love bullsh**” doesn’t work, when she was reading Kurt’s sui cider letter
@@eizenkcm88You are never truly alone. You do it for you and you still do it for them. They may be burned out and you might not be able to lean on them but you do it out of gratitude for the times they were there for you. You might never get them back but you can earn back the love and respect you have for yourself through pursuit of becoming the human being you want to be and the person they would be proud to know.
@@eizenkcm88then join a book club or volunteer to feed homeless people, literally anything you can think of & just show up even if you have to force yourself. If you keep showing up you might find a friend there. If not, join another thing or volunteer someplace else until you meet someone. Or you could start your own group to meet also about anything. It’s very difficult, honestly, what I suggest takes strong courage but you can guarantee that if you need a friend, someone else out there does too. ❤
To hear ari talk about mental illness to hearing joey talk about addiction its been a huge breakthrough to hear these people explain it so dynamically its helped me actually realize I'm not the only one
Being bipolar, it took me 5 years of insanity and all consuming numbness and 3 times I toed the line of my life before I finally found the meds that worked for me. 2 years later and I am finally getting my life on track, it's hard but I am an example that you can get through it.
I am a survivor. 6 years ago I let myself lose control. I have a scar from 42 staples going up my forearm. I was so close. I thank god everyday for giving me a second chance. It does get better. Been sober 5 years this year and I’ll keep getting better!
I met Anthony during his Chefs Tour when he was in the Minneapolis airport. He was so nice. He could have easily just walked by but he stopped and talked for a few moments. Super guy. Wish he was still here.
With depression it really drains any enjoyment of anything, even the small hope of of a better future it feels like it’s telling you the truth that it’s meaningless and hopeless, and then there’s a lot of fear to even change because it’s like a fundamental part of you that when you think about a life without it you question if it’s actually truly you or just someone forced to be happy.
I think it’s because at some point you lay there and you’re like, none of this shit makes me happy. I’ve tried it all, and it doesn’t make me feel better, so what is the point of getting out of bed? I think I also doing this stuff isn’t going to make me feel worse either, but it usually does. That’s just me though, not sure of everyone’s process.
@@cwildlife6882 it takes some work, but it is essential to develop the habit of mentally and emotionally reframing everything, and shake your mind, to something just a little more positive. Positive enough to keep you going for the moment. And the next moment, again. Because you are worth it. Good wishes.
Things that can help someone when they're suicidally depressed: 1) Not saying "you should talk to someone" when the person is talking with you 2) Not making the person feel like a burden 3) Financial help, if they need it, if their depression impairs their ability to work, which most likely it will 4) Asking them if they want to go out/do something - and continuing to ask this (without pressurising) - because one day they might say yes and this could be life-changing for them 5) Helping book them in for a salon/hairdresser/dentist appointment if their depression has begun to lead them to neglect themselves. Or helping them clean their home. Again, ask them if they want to help with this and keep asking, until one day they might say yes. At first it's likely they'll refuse help as they may think they're a lost cause. But something as trivial as getting their hair washed after weeks/months of neglect, or living in a tidied up room, could make so much difference to how the person feels and help start to change this mentality. 6) Not making the person feel guilty for being depressed - it's bizarre how many people use this tactic and think it'll help! The above are just a few things, off the top of my head, that I wish people had done for me when I first became suicidally depressed. I was left to kind of fester in my depression, which led to it getting much, much worse, before I eventually started making efforts to recover, recovery being that much more difficult as a result of it first worsening. But I've been trying to recover all the same. One day at a time. Wishing anyone going through depression the best.
Im in tears because if only someone could would help like all of the above... this shitty depression would not linger ... the people i had the courage to turn to put me down worse people seem disappointed or disbelief ... provoke wanting to see a show... not helping only to observe me crack... I pray one day to feel what happiness is suppose to be... I cry because i havent a clue... ...i really loved your comment.. thank you.. May we feel better somehow...
I lost my amazing daughter to suicide and still haven't dealt with it people say it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done but as a father you feel like you or I let her down
I’m so sorry 😢 it really was not anything you could have done to save her I’m sure when they make up their minds that’s it. The only thing you can do now is to live your life with so much more meaning for her and for you and remaining members of your family. I’m truly sorry for your loss sir it’s a pain n parent should ever ever know.
Having lost my mum in 2022 the past year has been hell. I had depression growing and had a hard time with my outlook on life. Before she died I was doing well in my own business my gf and I where 4 years happy. But when she died I was on auto pilot and started to hate myself being suicidal and hating driving to work wanting to just give up. But calling Samaritans and exploding into a tyrant about how hard shit was turned into a catharsis and I’m doing better since.
Anyone needing help should seek it. I lost my 3 older brothers to overdoses. RIP David, Anthony, and Shawn. Miss you boys. Sending love to all of you who need it. Wherever you are.
This may sound weird but at the most depressed times of my life thinking about suicide feels helpful... there is a sense of that finality of not existing, trying to imagine it that has always made me feel grateful for life, for any life.
Ari I’ve never heard someone explain exactly how I feel you’re the reason I got on meds I’ve fallen back into it but watching this might get me back on track
I found that when I fought Depression , it got me Hyper focused as a shepherd of my own thoughts. It was Intense. But after listening to this, it made me realize it has helped me focus on my Spirit journey,. The Depression pushed me to this. A good thing
i was finally able to cry watching this. i hate talking about my feelings, like i’m not supposed to. but fuck it, i feel heartbroken all the time. it’s that gut wrenching feeling every real man remembers, but that’s only PART of the physical.. i’m 130lbs 6ft tall. 23 years old, still living at home with mom.. still trying to find a way out. i need a reason to live just as much as i need one to finally give up
Alcohol and depression are a match made in hell. A depressed person stops caring, he stops wanting to take the best road because in his eyes every road is a bad road. Alcohol is a road they take because they have an inner desire to destroy themselves. I am that person and I've battled it for years. I'm clean for months and then something happens and I'm in the pit of despair and when you are there bad choices you think are good choices. In fact you know they're bad choices, but it doesn't matter anymore, you're in a state of mind you are lost. Sometimes you break free of it and you promise yourself you will never drink again but the monkey and depression linger like a demon on your shoulder.
Heere's Lukey try as many news things as possible, hopefully you can find a passion in life and work toward a vision of the future that is worth struggling towards
Heere's Lukey. My girlfriend of Five years is a sever Alcoholic and has been since ive known her when we met she was clean but relapsed 6 months in, she has 90 days 3 times since 2013 and she is in rehab for the second time in less than a month, the 5th time this year and 12th time in 2 years. She cant get right man, I wish no person to go through alcoholism, it is the worst drug in the known universe. its so tragic, its like she desperately wants to not drink but she cant like she could be sober and we leave to go grocery shopping and we get to the store and she uses the bathroom and comes out hammerd drunk because she found cooking wine or hand santizer. Like alcholism is 100 percent the most evil drug and its legal and everywhere and so ingrained into our society. im not a religious person but there is no way in hell that alcohol is not from some dark entity, devil or evil spirit. Good luck on your journey bro please stay the course
I’ve suffered from “Clinical Depression” for years and I’m only alive because I decided to stick around to find out what happens if I don’t give up. I stopped sharing it with people awhile ago. “Get over it” is said by people who have absolutely no idea what you’re going through. The bottom line is learning how to live moment to moment. Definitely exercise and take walks, but, those are just a few of the many ways someone suffering from “clinical depression” must use. Because the truth remains, no matter what society says about support, you can not count on anything or anyone but YOU!!! No one really cares and even if they do, they can’t help you. You must decide to help yourself otherwise you’re chances of getting past it are pretty slim. Be well.
Well said! I was blessed with great mental health most of my life but recently for reasons unknown and no external cause, depression and s. ideation hit me like a ton of bricks. Still in the phase of seeking answers (want to rule out physical underlying causes, since it was so abrupt like a light switch being flicked, before I fully go down the psychological path) but I can't agree with you more, the thing keeping me going is wanting to see what happens if I don't give up. I also have a friend who's battled far more of these demons than me for the past 5 years and he hasn't given up, I always had empathy but I didn't actually understand, now that I actually do understand I'm almost moved by his efforts. So I don't want to give up either even if it sucks along the way and may, and even somewhat is already, significantly send my life down a different path than I had planned if it doesn't go away, which is upsetting. But hey, maybe it will go away. It's also insanely weird because before being stuck in this state, I loved life and thought it'd be great to live to 100 years of age if I could. Now in this state, it's like damn, 70 even feels like a long time, maybe that would be enough and even that could be a slog. But at least I have the perspective of experiencing both to know that it comes down to brain state somehow, neither is an objective reality. Anyway, yeah, my plan to cope is the "let's not give up" approach, seems OK so far. I agree with you exercise is a tool that can bring some relief but is not a total answer. I'm on a new journey now, let's see how it goes. And best of luck to you as well.
He nailed it. Really summed up and was honest about it. It really rings true the fact that you almost miss the issues as they had become such a part of your life.
I've never heard someone articulate how depression feels so perfectly. When he was describing it as making everything just the tiniest bit worst and building up and how you become attached to that feeling, that's exactly how it was for me. I just gained so much respect for Ari.
Clinical depression is an inherited genetic disease like a predisposition to cancer. For those folks with catatonic depression the chemicals in their brain are so messed up no matter what they do nothing will make them happy more than a few hours.
Justin, your remark tells me you didn't take anything from this conversation. What's your remedy for drug addiction, just say no? Depression can be caused be a chemical imbalance in the brain, and the depressed person does not have the capability to cure themselves.
Props to UA-cam for linking suicide prevention information with this video. And props to anyone out there struggling with depression or mind trauma or whatever you want to call it. There is a future waiting for you where everything is better.
See, this is a well intended message that enters a depressed brain like mine the wrong way. Sometimes the future is not better. Things don’t always get better, and it feels like people that say these things are selling us a bs fantasy that we refuse to buy. How do you know there’s a future for me where everything is better?
Lost my 14 year old son to suicide Feb. 3 2014. We had no clue as to why at the time. Only after a long period of grief (still grieving) did I start to add things up. I'm still not able to think about it for too long. If I focus too long on Anthony (my son) I begin to break. I can't afford to break, I have a six year old and a son graduating college. I'll just continue going forward I guess. No other choice.
It's stories like this that stop me doing it. Knowing how it'll effect my mum. I know it's tough to share but thanks
Sumo Taylor thats like the only nice comment I've ever seen on youtube. good to see stuff like this
There is no magical conversation that could have helped your son, certainly don't blame yourself. Teenagers very much act emotionally, against better judgement for which only time and maturity will give them a better perspective.
I do wish psychology was more popular in my teenage years (the 90's) and people like Professor Jordan Peterson were around trying to help people for the sake of it.
Focus on your boy and your young man now, and look after yourself.
kreteman777 sounds like you are doing what you need to do. So sorry for your loss
kreteman777 Im so sorry. Nobody should ever have to go through that.
Joe says he doesn't get it but he let someone talk about their mental illness for half an hour here. That's IT. That's by far THE BEST and in some cases the ONLY thing a friend can do in this situation.
He also asked and was curious throughout, even if he still was somewhat uncomfortable.
Radzo1 I agree. We all need to know or feel someone can hear us or that we matter.
YES!! That really stood out for me, too! Big kuddos to Joe for that. He acknowledged that he didn't understand it but he didn't invalidate his friend for feeling that way. He didn't say, "Just snap out of it!" He showed that he genuinely cared about his friend's well-being. That's what one needs when going through depression-someone who says, "I don't get it-but I'm going to help you." That's awesome, Joe!
That is true many time. Every case is different. There is no single approach or solution that is good or bad for everyone.
I love this comment, thank you.
As a survivor, Ari describes depression and suicide correctly. I do like when Joe covers these topics. Makes everyone feel human. Anyone reading this, thank you for being here. Keep it up.
Stfu no1 actually gives a fuck the world care only for themselves it selfish to even put your problems on som1 else get a set a get the fuck on with it
im glad you’re still here, i hope things are turning around for you ❤
I’m so glad you fought through it. You should be proud of yourself. Those dark thought’s can be relentless. I really like when they get real like this too, I often feel weak or like a failure because of my dark periods but hearing others talk so openly about fighting the same fight is comforting. It makes me feel less alone. I don’t mean to sound selfish, I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy.
We are all humans. And as humans we have these emotions and feelings. Some of which can be very overwhelming and confusing and frustrating. Just talking about them takes so much energy and can be completely exhausting...
Thank you to those who are out here trying to make a difference. Mental illness is real and extremely hard to think it's just a mind over matter situation. Thank you Joe Rogan for speaking on these issues! 👍🏻👍🏻
Feelings mutual. It's been so difficult, but I'm trying my best. All the best. You're not alone. No one is. No matter how much it feels like we are. I know we all feel that way.
My son died of suicide 11 years ago
He was 29. I have a lot of guilt due to the circumstances. I have to remind myself that I tried to save him. I could never be angry with him. His pain was unbearable for him. He is free of pain now. He hurt so bad that he thought everyone would be better without him.. He was too good to stay, it hurt him too badly the way humans treated each other. I miss him everyday. My life changed that afternoon. I am a different person who will always have a hole in my heart until we meet again. Suicide touches my heart everytime I hear of one..
God bless you...
He was an angel who returned to heaven... Stay strong until then.🌹
I’m so sorry. My son has mental illness and has been suicidal many times. I try to save him from doing it. It’s an overwhelming feeling. Blessings to you. 💕
I’m sorry for your loss
@@lab4389 blessings to you as well. I hope your son recovers and finds hope
Depression is the worst trip you'll ever be on.
And is likely to be your terminal trip.
Anakin Skywalker NO
1000000%
@@SebAnders doesn't have to be 💜💜💜
I’ve realized the true nature of life and there’s no escape now but death. I scream everyday that I’m ready to die after barely making it through a work day.
Joe is like the Oprah for men
so where's my free car, Joe?
And women.
Or Roy Firestone
Bro-prah
Nick Serritella : I think you’re right 😂
Robin Williams once said: "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone”
Back in 2016, I came real close to ending my own life. I found myself in a very dark situation. I’m glad I walked out of space that I was in and got help. For anyone going through something that is reading this, it’s not too late to get help.
No truer words. I would rather be by myself than with others who make me feel invisible and unworthy.
💯 peace and blessings
He said it because it was his line in a movie.
@Yuuko1 it doesn't change the impact of the meaning....not saying that's what you were suggesting, but it still hits hard. Have a good day 🥰
@@Autumn_meadow It does not change the impact, no. I'm just wired to be overly pedantic and wanted to point out the context of his having said that. :)
I lost my mom to suicide about 2 months ago. I’m 19 and its the hardest thing I’ve been through. I’ve had suicidal thoughts but I know I’ll never do it because of how much pain my mom doing it caused. I was the last person to talk to her and we had an argument. It’s hard not to blame myself. There were so many signs in hindsight.
I'm sorry for your loss.
That is so tough! Keep talking about it. Cry when you need to. Sending you so much love from New Zealand ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss! I promise you that your mom’s decision had nothing to do with you. I promise you that there is nothing you could have done. I promise you that it’s not your fault, you’re not to blame, & you deserve all the love in the world. And no matter what your last interaction was with her, that does not have to define you. Maybe you could think about writing to her. One time or a thousand times, if it helps. Talk about her, write about her, find yourself, find your own way through your heartache, your anger, your pain. Allow yourself to Feel every emotion thoroughly, every time, for the rest of your life because the only wounds that don’t heal are the ones we don’t take care of. And when they heal, there is still a scar, that’s normal. There is no such thing as “getting over” the loss of a loved one especially the early traumatic ones. Everything we love deeply becomes a part of us that cannot be lost. I’m sending my love to you because love is what you need most now, more than ever. ❤
Not your fault.❤
Thank you for being here you being here and dealing with the thoughts you have ab her it is what keeps her memory alive you being here is what keeps a little piece of her still here
"The greatest tragedy in life is what dies inside a man while he's still alive" I read that quote in prison and it really resonated with me.
They can lock up your body, They can not lock up your mind.
Just because you sit in a cell doesn't mean you have to be there.
I project my body to places seen in my mind :)
One of the famous quotes by Albert Schweitzer.. you should look into him and his philosophies on life. 🤙🏾🤙🏾
I relate to that, I've had to deal with lots of deaths and broken relationships or friendships and a piece of my heart goes with most. Sometimes a little hole gets filled in by something else, but it's a balance thing. God Bless❤
Isn't that the truth! Thanx for sharing that @jerrydeloza9915
But not women tho, fk them
I fully identify with the sleep. My life so dull and anxious right now my favourite time of the day is bedtime and the worst is when I open my eyes and daylight is breaking
I feel ya....every day! 😉
Probably cuz u can't shit
Same.
You just described my situation perfectly. I'm in a dark place right now, hope your doing better then when you posted! My favorate time is when I sleep! It's sad in the am for me! Wasn't always like this! I hope I can snap out of this!
I feel you bro i been like this for awhile too and my bestfriend just passed away the one person that made me truly happy and i thought it was harder before now its just miserable
I was a fan of Anthony Bourdain's show "No Reservations". Although I never met him in person, the day I heard of his death it hit me pretty hard to the point of crying. And the same thing when I heard about Robin Williams. Suicide could happen to anyone at anytime. Suicide does not discriminate, you could be old or young, healthy or sick, rich or poor.
Only if you are Mentally Ill
Suicide is a joke and not an option for Sane Ppl
Do we really need are want depressed ppl to live and project their negativity on society.
No Matter Where You Go
There Your Mental State Is
It’s so interesting to see him say he missed his depression because it was a part of his identity. As someone who is chronically depressed and got medication, I don’t miss it at all. It made me feel like I finally got to my full potential. It’s like when you’re underwater and you finally come up for a fresh breath of air
Coming to see that beyond the depression, life still isn't great for a plethora of other reasons, alot of which are universal and considered normal can make longing for your depressive days a conceivable idea to me. But yeah.. interesting.
Personally, it feels weird and wrong when it’s not there, so it’s kind of alarming because I know it’s not normal and perhaps I’m vulnerable for it to hit me again harder.
Good on Ari for calling out Joe for his simplistic "just go exercise bro" mentality for people dealing with depression.
Mark Santos it helps. Not 'the cure' but it helps. If anything helps just taking the person outside for a walk, some light and social interaction defo take the edge of it.
Mark Santos people who dismiss depression are the problem
Exercise absolutely helps, that along with a healthy diet and consistant positive social interactions with loved ones and people you trust
Working out and talking to a friend that has been there and is now out of depression helps. Ive dealt with depression all my life and ive contemplated suicide many times. A few months ago i was in that black hole and i paid a friend a visit, he was going through depression and anxiety as well. Talking to him and knowing i wasnt alone in the way i felt helped. He turned me on to st. Johns wort pills that night and so at that point i thought what do i have to lose? I took 2 st johns wort pills a day along with 1omega 3 a day and ive been feeling better since, im still taking them and i cant say that is what got me out of depression completely or its a placebo effect, but oddly enough i do feel alot better. Another thing that helps alot is listening to music and watching old feel good movies or shows that made me feel good as a kid. I hope this helps someone outhere battling with depression.
Balance your life, working out helps a lot. David Goggins is a huge inspiration too
Depression is like your mind wants to kill itself while your body tries to fight to survival
That's a great description
Very cool anakin SkyWalker
Good one
This description is so sad
It was Vaders life..
I had struggled with serious crippling anxiety for 7+ years and the hardest part was actually noticing that how I think / the way I go about my day to day is not normal.
It wasn't until I actually opened up to somebody close to me that I got a different perspective on my own mindset and figured out that my mind was abnormal and giving me a falsified perception of reality (in this case, hyper criticism and neurotic thinking).
I legitimately grew to think that my thinking patterns were entirely normal and acceptable. Only now that I'm medicated and healthy I can look back and wonder how the hell I even grew accustomed to living every day fighting with my own mind.
same here but i wont bore you with the details. i just cant take meds.i want to mend with love
Lost my sister in law in 2022 . Just days prior we danced and laughed. We made lunch plans for the next week. They found her 3 days later in corn field self inflicted gun shot. Time does not heal and still so many unanswered questions..... she was amazing beautiful women
So very sorry..
Telling a person to get over it is the same as telling a person with a broken leg to run it off.
Richard Dowdy ha! Ha! So true! Thanks for the laugh!
Bit different but same concept 😂
Richard Dowdy oh kinda like racism huh🤷🏽♀️
huh?
Jacque Renee Racism is not a mental illness.
I had an extension cord in a noose hanging in my garage. Luckly nephew knocked on the door and interrupted me from doing it. That's when I got help been 3 good years.
Wow.. did you seek out for help prior or that was your first experience?
You would have been stock there forever good thing you decided not to
Glad you got help.
Did you write this for attention
💖💖🙏😚💖💖
Thank you Ari for being the only one to ever talk about things suicidal people can relate to.
What stands out to me the most is how curious Joe is about clinical depression. You can tell he’s never had to deal with it. As someone who is clinically depressed for the last 20 years, seeing people who don’t have to deal with it always surprises me. It’s such an everyday part of life for people afflicted with it, that we eventually began to assume most people feel this on some level. But they don’t. That’s the hardest part for me, is having something nobody but a therapist or other depressed people can relate to, and since clinical depression is still very taboo, it is a very lonely existence to have these daily struggles only for people to have no idea how bad they can get.
Being rich probably helps quite a bit
His description of carrying too much weight and just wanting to sleep is the most honest description of what having suicidal thoughts that I've ever heard. And the whole, "just get up and exercise". Like dude we can't get out of bed and eat let alone exercise
There are bad days of depression but he is right, sometimes you just need to get up. I’ve had depression and thank God I’ve overcome it and never needed pills. Lost my mom, dad, became an alcoholic, college dropout, dui and the list continues and I thought I’d never get out of that hole. But diet, exercise, and God got me though it after 6 years of misery. Everyday is still a battle but joe is right, sometimes you just gotta get up
@@lesterm18 glad to hear you were able to turn it around bro!
Yeah, it's the thing. We know what needs to be done to feel better, yet you just can't do it. It's like being in a mental fog or extreme ocd where you're on a loop you can't get off, you think of different things to try to get yourself out of it mentally but end up back on the same loop within seconds. Clinical depression is the shits. Wish I could afford medication to get my cast but just powering through it the only way I can.
I used to be depressed, it’s really just not wanting to get out of bed and not wanting to do anything, it’s also wild because you don’t care as much about your life so your wreck less. I was fighting a lot and doing drugs, which didn’t help
Facts man, even when I manage to get out and run 3-5KM a day it doesn’t magically just cure it 😞
"You have a rock on you that you are pushing off you at ALL TIMES, You just want it to stop and sleep" - The most accurate explanation
Nah, its more of having to wear a..... extremely..... heavy....... coat....
@Daryl Halliday I agree with Daryl. To me its the feeling of hopelessness. What is the fucking point of it all. in 100 years from now, no one will remember you. in 200 years from now no one will even have a thought, a fucking thought for a second about you. If your famous, in 500 years no one will remember you. and and and, in probably 100,000 years humanity will be gone. Whats the fucking point of existence? Having fun? yep good point, but what if you're disabled, depressed, can't walk, can't talk, 3 people are working for you around the clock so you can survive. I'm no Stephen Hawking dear. if its ok for this person to have a reason to commit suicide then every one can, or should.
For me-it felt like I was walking through mud. I felt like I was waist-deep in mud and every step, every *thing* just took so. much. effort.
@@bbearsmama exactly! And years of it and you are just done with it! I know the feeling.
@@bluceree7312 It doesn't matter and there is no point. And that's the beauty of it. No reason to rush our death, it is coming quickly anyway.
To the fathers of young children who are struggling, I lost my father to suicide when I was 6 years old and I can tell you from experience it leaves a lot of devastation behind. I know life can be hard I've had suicidal thoughts my whole life but please try and push through for your children's sake.
I think you meant devastation
@@tips6233 Yes thank you, I'll edit it now.
Hang in there man. 🙏❤️
I’m very sorry My best friend kill himself and left his daughter behind and his son too That was a terrible tragedy. I can’t believe it. No one knows why he did it . I don’t know you but I care about you I wish I can help you and everyone in this world I would like to have that power
Yes. It's exactly because of my deep deep sense of responsibility for my children that I didn't do it. My childhood trauma is why I wanted to and consequently wanting to raise my own kids to be healthy resilient adults is why I won't.
Depression is worse than death. At least when you're dead, you don't feel horrific and totally, utterly miserable every day, wishing you haven't survived the night and hope you don't survive the day or night to trudge through another day of existence. I'm glad the world is discovering depression is a real thing to be open about and accept. I spoke to my parents and a therapist, and it helped more than I thought it would 😊
life is pain, once you die that pain is over.
Ari really deserves a nod for this it's not easy to talk about even more so to explain it
he explained it SO well. I'm so tempted to send this to my parents.... hahah.
What’s this comedian’s name?
Jocelyn Rodriguez he’s the same doodhbag who said he was happy Kobe died
Time stamp?
Ari did the greatest possible explanation of all of the tangled components on the mystery of depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
I am a “young” 67 year old woman having over 11 counselors and psychiatrist, one psychiatrist was for 16 years. I have tried over 20 combinations of meds. The last 3 years I gradually changed so many things in my life, including quitting alcohol. Still smoking pot but usually just later in the evening.
As Ari said, it was part of my internal identity. Everyone identified me as the life of the party. Pressure I put on myself. I would only leave the house if I knew I could be “on”. I have since tried to sit back and relax and enjoy the moment in all aspects of my life experiences. I am great-full
for all of the ups and downs of my mental health, as they have taught me compassion and made me a good listener.
The sleep part is so true you constantly feel that sleep is a cure and when you awake you cant wait to go back to that. What a fucked up object the brain can be.
It's so true. But worse still when you have chronic insomnia ; the feeling of no escape is almost too much to take.
Really hit the nail on the head with needing 2 different terms… I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression all of my 40 years I can remember. You can be down, and then you can be in a vortex that is sucking you down faster than you can process it… this was a great interview.
Him asking “what was something a friend could do that would help you” shows how much he cares and wants to be able to help his friends
This is arguably the most insightful view on depression. This man said so many things that only a few people truly understand.
I totally agree 10 minutes into it. Candid and vulnerable, but descriptive and relayed in an understandable way for those who don’t get it
More than you would think,my friend.
A few people? I don’t think you have accurate stats on depression.
@@fretnesbutke3233 exactly.
Nah, big headed roid freek
The way I explain my clinical depression to someone is that just being conscious feels constantly wrong, horrible, and exhausting. I'd constantly be asleep to get away from consciousness. So the way I have always understood someone who has clinical depression and commits suicide, is that their looking for that permanent and absolute unconsciousness that sleep gave me, and I assume many others who have clinical depression.
Yup exactamundo...
I think another new way this has manifested in society in recent history is the constant passing of time through media (UA-cam, Films, Songs etc.) Personally, for the last year and a half, have lay on my bed all day and wasted countless hours watching youtube. No memories, happy or sad have been experienced, just nothing. I think what you say is true and have always felt like im only watching these youtubers and other peoples lifes because i dont want to think about my own. It is very much like a state of unconciousness as you never actually have an emotional experience; you're literally just watching other people do things; passing the time and waiting for something to happen, but you have no clue what the fuck that thing is.
Gx Qx exactly, and shit can get even worst if you go down the rabithole of conspiracy theories (pedophilia rings, 911, etc..)
WhatAHero sleep does not help me. I wake up feeling like shit every day
Joe Curran i dont think he means sleeps helps with the depression directly. All it does it indirectly allows you to not have to think any negative thoughts, well, because you're obviously unconciouss and its impossible. Sleep is that temporary relief you can get, even though it is not really a relief because you're literally just shutting off.
Real relief would be feeling good, smiling, laughing or just forgetting about your depression for a moment. But in the twisted mind of a depressed person, sleep enables you not to even have to think about anything.
You're right though, when you wake up it starts all over again and thats why your mind wants your body to stay in bed all day and chase that 'unconciousness' through sleep as much as it can. For the relief from negative thoughts.
Hope that makes sense. If i'm not making sense it is because i've been up for around 48 hours and cant sleep 😨 now thats a fucking catch 22 like crazy lol.
welcome to the mind of depressed person where nothing makes sense 😂
The worst thing for me was, when you're knee deep in the depression it feels like this state of living will NEVER change. You're 100% convinced that it won't get better. Ever. This leads to hopelessness... which ofc leads to thoughts about just ending it all.
Man, Ari was really on point in this. They way he described almost everything was so true and real. He put things into words that i just never could, but he nails it.
Exercise helps temporarily as long as you can bring yourself to actually do it. When you're genuinely depressed, just getting out of bed and putting on clothes is mentally and physically draining. Trying to get yourself to exercise after that is almost impossible.
Yes. I use to cry just get my legs of the damn bed. Would never dare let others see this way. But i swear it was like physically feeling like i was peeling my skin off the bed.
Going through this right now. It’s like weeks long with a few days sprinkled in of actual motivation.
Exercise helps but it mostly helps with the anxiety
Just force yourself to do it. It is easy and possible
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, GET UP AND GET GOING! SUMMON THE INNER BEAST IN YOU!
Depression is like brain rot, that spreads throughout your body.
Yes, then you feel all alone from your particular brain rot
Depression is a hoax so people can have an excuse to be sad and lethargic all day. Set some goals and just live.
@@rosadita5763 Thanks Dr. Rosa you sound super legit! On another, totally unrelated note: Please never reproduce.
@@rosadita5763 Cool. I'm cured now. Thank you.
@@rosadita5763 I used to think like you u till I realised depression hits certain people harder.
Losing my dad at 25 and divorcing at 29 sent me into those dark moments. If it wasn’t for my mother brother and therapist I wouldn’t be here.
If your parents could've controlled their selfish desires to have off-springs, that would've helped too.
@@MonkeyDIvan I’m sorry for whatever is troubling you to think you have the right to tarnish how my parents raised me.. I bet you think you’re really tough saying that behind a computer screen. You wouldn’t have the balls to say that to my face. But that’s ok, like I said. I’m sorry you’re a miserable fucknut who sees no reason but to put me down further. Would love to know why you felt the need to put this.
Well I’m glad you’re here. Don’t worry about the absolutely ridiculous comment before mine. Must be a child
@@BradPwnsU thanks bro. Love how he hasn’t had the balls to respond to my second comment 👊🏻
@@danielk613 absolutely. I struggle with it too so I know it’s hard.
This right here is why no matter what trouble this man gets into on social media I will always always love and respect his level of insight on things like this. This was the podcast I truly came to love ari
This mans description of suicidal thoughts is accurate af
My thought exactly!
I wish he would act on it...
Time stamp?
We can't lie to our souls and our souls no longer are one, we can't live without a drum beat of a heart, Anthony Bourdain had the best foodie job, newly married new baby daughter. Hard Candy with Ellen Page, props i actually wanted the Vigilante to get caught. We have to have equality somehow, and i see easy fixes butt people refuse to even try. 😜🤗💋
Time stamp?
He describes depression in such an accurate way. It just helps knowing someone truly understands your pain.
@Dick Thick'em Hi bud, it might not be accurate in relation to your subjective experience of depression, and there are obviously objective commonalities between people's experience of it, but it is different in nature for each person so is true to his own expressed hardship.
Everyone’s different
Time stamp?
@@sidmichael1158 the whole thing dude
@@keenansmith2509 sure that’s true but I have depression and have struggled with it for a few years now and this is accurate to me too, we’re not saying it’s that way for everyone so chill
I have been drinking to much and don't think I can stop pray for me every one.
Same brother. Wish you the best.
@@sagabeard over a month sober , so far so good
Not being heard or valued or respected and all your efforts going unnoticed marked as difficult as a child or adult so just being tired of fighting the looks the whispers the tone of voice the dismissals so I understand as I was there and I know that slippery slope - just know you can come out of it but not entirely through it it’s daily weekly practice to make a difference to those who you deem matter ! Much love to who is readsing this YOUVE GOT THIS one foot in front of the other because you matter and always have 💜
❤ yes it really sometimes just one foot infront of the other
Huh?? Think you’d benefit from using basic punctuation.
Depression can be a silent killer. Be careful. Be safe. Be kind.
Chronic depression can take you to an early grave ..get help if it just goes on !
This is very true. I just found that someone who was a very close friend of mine from last year commit suicide today and he was always the type of person who couldn’t hurt a fly and was kind to everyone even complete strangers.
He also seemed like a very happy person and brought up people around him. But what was on the inside must have told a completely different story.
Yes, westcoastsands.
Sometimes depression may cause a little bit of carelessness, which can lead to accidents, too. So, death is not always intentional, for a depressed person. That's why you want to be careful, love yourself and be kind to yourself and others. 💕
…and be kind to yourself.💕
Having severe depression its like being possesed by a demon.You cant explain it to others.
people reject negativity and ignore my. BS... like they. are saying do it or shut up .
asking family members for recourse to find help and being ignored..
dunno what to. do .
Always thought the Dementors in Harry Potter are somehow great visual for depression. At least how sometimes feels like...
I think this all the time. It’s BLACK AS NIGHT the thoughts I have and I think to myself, god!? am I actually possessed by an entity that’s putting this in my head? If I even TRY to explain it to others they’d bang me up and throw away the key. You have to TRY to accept the good in your life, even if it’s only something tiny and build on it. Be grateful for the little things. It starts to grow. Then exercise, even if it’s only a little until you get a bit more energy and then find your best friend you have and tell them how you feel. Start small and try and grow the things that make you happy and smile.
Beautifully said, it's like an ominous dark presence that taints everything you have ever loved.
@ Go to a counselor or therapist. Or join a group where you can talk about it. I've dealt with depression for a while now with periods of success and I've tried all three and they really helped. But the most help I ever had was a mentor.
Some things work better for some people, but the sooner you can start getting help the better. Some therapists/counselors are shit, but some are amazing. And once you find one that's really good you'll most likely start getting better.
Just do whatever you can to find a counselor or therapist type person or mentor to talk to. Trust me, it will help.
I lost a close friend of mine years ago to suicide. I found out through a call by his sister, it was horrible. When his sister called it was only minutes after he took his life, his mom was wailing in the background and she’s trying to talk with me about what happened through a broken and crying voice, his dad in total denial screaming no over and over.
He was only 17
That is very sad but what does it do to give gruesome details.... for you or the family or the receiving people?
@Elizabeth Heyenga because those details really spoke to me! It made me think of my daughters crying no no no if I were to ever leave thus world. Sorry for your loss
@@elizabethheyenga9277 your being an ass to someone who loss a friend to suicide because you don’t wanna hear about it, if your can’t handle the heat then get out the kitchen
@@elizabethheyenga9277 Because someone thinking of suicide might at least hear about the reality of the pain their family would have to go through. It may be enough to convince them not to do it.
@@elizabethheyenga9277 the conversations this post is inspiring is what's truly great about it. If you do t understand, don't insult people. Just leave. Jesus man. The irony is unbelievable. The awful way human beings treat one another is a huge reason people end their own lives at their own hands. And for those they leave behind, talking about it and supporting one another a key part of the therapeutic process they need to heal. Insulting someone for that is beyond disgusting.
You need to have a long look in the mirror today, ma'am. The internet CAN be used for good too, you know. Maybe something to think about in between your cat videos & looking for people to put down.
Bourdain.
Chris Cornell.
Robin Williams.
Greg Escalante.
My dad.
My cousin Shelley.
They all were a gut punch to me.
Exercise, sunshine, my dogs, praying, art, my wife & THC have always helped me keep the balance. But the heaviness is never very far away.
Working on a small series of painting's of the people above.
I hope their souls found peace.
why not
Artie?
@@limbopy6609 Artie who? Lange?
@@lonehawkwhitlock1310
U know who
@@lonehawkwhitlock1310 Ari..whatever
❤ keep ur head up
Anthony Bourdain was a great ambassador for different countries, cultures, and cuisines. In his own way, he brought people together.
Thats true. Even in death, it brought about a conversation on suicide as well, so he made a lot of impact in his own way.
He isnt dead..just his character was killed. He got oit and became someone different. Many have learned from past mistakes and somehow where able to be, saved by a force or forces more like it. I cant prove this other than saying i am picking up on a vibration when i hear or see them.
I want to die but the thought of my mom finding out that i killed myself brakes my heart so I cant bring myself to do it. I love my mom so much I cant stand the thought of her crying.
Joseph Stump you’re an amazing person for that and knowing that about you, I’m confident you have a purpose on earth
same here except with my dad
Exactly why I'm still here, bro. And I'm thankful, because now I'm happy, and my mum will never know she saved me.
All the best man. 'Know' you'll get through it.
"Don't give up the fight to stay alive even if you have to find the reason of another's pain if they lose you. If not for yourself, then those around who care like I do. One day you'll see the clear blue, beyond the grey sky."
-311, "Beyond the Grey Sky"
Take strength in that. From a young age I always saw suicide as "a bad trade", in the sense that MY problems and pain being taken away isn't worth my family and friends hurting if they lost me. I had thought that way long before I had depression, so now anytime I have suicidal thoughts, it is always a lingering thought in the back of my head that holds me back from acting on those thoughts and I am so thankful for that. I feel that having that mind set for so long, and having developed that mental barrier has saved my life time and time again. Let that feeling of love for your mom take over in the moment, sometimes its enough to distract you until someone else gets home, or until the feeling passes. Self awareness isn't easy to master, especially so for people suffering from depression, but it is such a helpful tool in recovery. So when you have that little reminder of your mom, lean into it, that is your connection with reality at that point and having a connection to reality when considering suicide is so important. Whether you know it or not, youre a fighter. I wish you all the best on your journey, and hope you have access to a good support system.
I have major depression illness. I get times in my life where the depression is so bad that my life stops. A major depression is best described in my terms as living with a pressure or weight, that’s pushing down your entire soul physically mentally. It’s like if I piled a bunch of rocks on top of you and told you to live your life and then made you wade through mud every time you had to get up to do something.
A college roommate of mine confessed that the only thing stopping her from killing herself was how upset her parents would be. We weren't good friends but I told her, "Well I would miss you. I think a lot of other people would too. Your mind won't let you see it right now but you do matter."
Matt G Great troll. Go outside, man. So funny. So original.
Wat a white girl thing to say fuc u Shanon
Matt G what’s wrong with you man?
Look at all these simps
Shreyas Rd no u
The “people who never say it but often think it are way more likely to do it” scared the hell out of me
U just said it so u dont gotta worry now
Ya i had to rewind that and listen to it again... He hit the nail on the head!
i loved this segment, definitely Top of the lis of favorites from Joe and Ari, as someone whos had years of therapy and counseling. Ive attempted suicide (a serious attempt) a few times and suffered from losing ones close to me from suicide I've come to realize that suicide isnt something thats meant to be understood (I.E. why did they do it, what were they feeling in those last moments) its only meant to be accepted. Thats the key (for me) to be able to move past the loss.... words cant describe the feeling that ive felt when ive tried to cash my chips in...... Just try to be there for them as much as u can if u know someone contemplating suicide and if they do it at least u know u did everything u could... either way it's gonna hurt getting that news, but you wont lay awake going crazy about "what could i have done? could i have done more?" its a process. Sometimes it hurts less knowing you did all you could. ... Love the raw thoughts of processing emotions and mental illness in this segment 💪
This is one of the most candid and honest conversations I have ever heard. I was able to check boxes in my head of feelings I had when I struggled years ago. It still tries to rear its ugly head sometimes but I’m able to recognize it for what it is and deal with it. Great conversation.
It still weirds me out that there are people out there who have never even once felt suicidal.
I hope your still here and doing okay
I think I would have if my parents weren’t dead and I didn’t have a daughter... I watched my parents fight w/ all their heart and lost the battle to cancer and obesity... if I entertained suicide I’d be a coward .. this life goes fast enough, it’ll be over before long.. no need to rush it...
Why does it weird u out😂 it sux I’m glad ppl don’t feel it
@@xx7850 because it is a normal human feeling. You must not be human.
@@d-complexakasnypermclivedr9549 ig I’m not😔I don’t feel like I’m y’all fr I feel different it’s cool tho bitch fuck yo attitude I was just bussin balls
"You got me to a therapist that I couldn't afford"
It was they got...I think
@@davidhadden7202 uhh l.
Genius
Thanks so much for this. I've dealt with depression nearly all my life and I'm 52 now. Been off and on medication so many times. I am saving this video just to remind me that there is a way out. So appreciative of this way of talking about this topic. Also, getting a dog helped me out greatly.
It always passes
Give that dog a treat from me and tell him he's a good boy!
i have been dealing with it by myself since i was 10 and these days, I live abroad my wife gets depressed so I cant talk to her about it as she will say "ah i did this by bringing you here" i really cant talk to anyone about it. think it's like a cloud, sometimes you struggle, and sometimes its a more clear sky, that being said like he said your brain is lying to you, so I might think its clear and I might be miserable compared to a normal guy, no idea once you have it long term its really hard to find a baseline as to what normal is
I've had brutal depression... I got a dog 6 months ago .she drives me insane but I feel like I have a purpose to take care of something...❤ Give your pup a kiss!
Honestly I have always been extremely against getting prescribed for any type of anti depressants (for myself idc what other people do) because I knew people at a young age who either ended up having them as a gateway drug to other things that they developed addictions to or they just were never able to function without them. That scared me and made me decide that I would deal with things all on my own. I had to do it and get over it without any outside help. My views have started to shift, I still feel like I need to be extremely cautious but this talk really helped giving me a different perspective
My Cousin committed suicide a year ago next month. Please people, talk to one another, listen and be civil with an open heart.
Not much of that today.
I know someone that will most likely finish their life early but day in and day out they constantly deny help from my end. So advice like this is difficult to implement. Nothing I can do but wait.
d d If you need an ear I’m here bro.
sickflow me too. He post depressing stuff on the internet and has a huge following who are the same. It’s a national crisis.
Be kind! Kindness is a cure
Your comment is the real MAGA.
Just having someone that cares unconditionally without judgement, is an incredible help. The thought of not being in control and feeling hopeless is deadly. Thank you for this segment.
Unconditional is problematic though, not letting someone hit rock bottom with their meth addiction, oh he stole more from me, ah I must give him some more money Then
He sai unconditionally..not accondiscending..
I’m literally going insane I am so depressed I survived cancer but the side effects of the medications after being pumped with systemic poisons are causing me to get further and further away from being able to be myself. I’m not reaching out because I am afraid to hear that I am just in my head and I’m keeping myself in this dark place and in some sick way I’ve found refuge in Isolation but I’m so unhappy. I’m afraid to even be seen by my friends because I’m embarrassed to say that I’m paralyzed by my depression that I have lost my ambitions in life and I’m not able to forgive myself and I’m not expecting anyone else to but, I’m afraid that I’m not going to get better because I don’t see it myself and I’ve thought about committing suicide to no feel this invisible pain but I want to live I just got lost in the chaos that came when I got diagnosed with cancer. Almost going on 8 yrs now and I haven’t been the same.
Me too brother. I don’t know how old you are but I’m 23. I don’t even remember how I used to be before treatments. I hope you have the courage to continue!
I feel very similar. I can't forgive myself for things I've done and am crippled by fear. It's been like this for months now and I don't want to die either but so many things are fucked up like my reputation that I don't see any other choice. It's so disappointing to me and I'm extremely disappointed with myself for taking good things for granted. I feel like everyone dislikes and thinks I'm a bad person now. Just going through hell alone and the worse part is maybe it was self-inflicted. But either way, I suffer and don't want to live with this enormous shame or regret. I just want understanding, forgiveness and to be liked. I want the same opportunities as other people and not to be judged or labeled as my mental illness. It's so upsetting and I can't bare this mental torture anymore. So I know what you might be going through! 😔💔
Therapy really helps. I had to remove myself from toxic people as much as possible. I had to make myself get out in nature and physically take care of myself to feel better. My bipolarity was extreme. And now I'm much better. I simply cannot be around manipulative or jackass people. I just cut them out cause it's pointless to be around them. Of course they still exist. But doing that helped me with my manic depression a lot.
You NEED to reach out. At this point, the only thing that's stopping you (perceptively) is your own doubts that those around you will love you. Your friends and family will still love you, even more than they do now. You need a support system. Please take it from someone that is slowly coming out of your shoes. PLEASE use your lifelines, because as time goes on, that's exactly what your loved ones are: LIFE LINES. ❤ you can do this!!!
You just did reach out on UA-cam brother to a bunch of strangers, take what you just said to all of us and send that message to your friends and loved ones it took me years and when I came out with all my depression and insanity to my people..
1. I found out who my real friends were and they won’t allow me to go down that dark rabbit hole anymore.
And 2. My loved ones broke down and made me promise to tell them next time before it ever gets to that dark of a place, and your loved ones will do the same.
“Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it getting better.”
That quote and my loved ones and support system of friends doesn’t mean the demons are gone, it just means that I have weapons now to help me fight it and when your not fighting it alone life is worth living. HANG IN THERE!!!!!
As someone who suffers from major depressive disorder (among other things), just want to say kudos for an excellent show. This real and raw conversation about how it feels is what people need to hear. Thank you. Both.
Have u been to the gym?
@@sergiopalomera3574can’t even leave my bed 😒
@@Deeznutz... Damn I'm sorry. I hope u will be able to soon
As someone who’s frequently depressed here in Oregon, it was nice to hear this. I actually really like him after watching this.
James Bond now that’s the Cali spirit 😂
Exactly the same out here in Seattle. Wish it would go away but no matter what or where it never does
Charlie brown did he have food Secrets that were classified so they had to kill him
Charlie brown yeah probably
@James Bond bye
Ive suffered from depression and alcohol abuse for about 10 years. depression for about 15. and this guy is spot on. I think it started with extreme anxiety and then slowly developed into depression and substance abuse. Shit is crazy!
Me too
@RainbowDreams30 Glad to hear you are better! It sure can take a lot of effort to heal can’t it…but you’re worth it!
I can't imagine what depression is like.
I feel horrible for these people.
It’s torture. There isn’t a pain in the world like the pain of depression. Consider yourself lucky to never have suffered from it
@@danielgiordani7625
I've been sad but I think this is something different.
@@giuffre714 you’d know if you were suffering from depression. Being sad and depression is like equating a grain of sand to the entire size of the universe
I have fought this demon many times. As someone with adhd my life is filled with depression alot of the time.
I use to think people who killed themselves were cowards and taking the easy way out, but I was wrong. It takes alot to get to this point, I can't imagine taking that one step further.
Lucky for me my ADHD makes me feel so much guilt about built about the pain I would leave behind pined, I'm just too scared to do it.
The only action I can think of that is cowardly and brave at the same time, right? Hope things are good today brother.
@@Scipio_Americano_III tried Kratom or Kratom extracts? It helps me
Hey bro, I’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist recently. I personally thought I was just a super sensitive and anxious person, but a couple people have pointed out I could have ADHD. My mood heavily is swayed by things that happen externally, and the only way I am able to regulate my mood is by boxing (weightlifting used to work but it wasn’t that stimulating, especially compared to boxing where I’m punching and avoiding punches). But outside of boxing and staying fit, I am very lazy and work as a waiter. But I also don’t really know if I would want to take medication to fix my problems. Have you seen a professional? And what was your experience like?
@@epicipodmodz well this is a much deeper subject then one thinks. Yes I have seen a Dr, but I highly recommend watching some videos on ADHD and Manic Depressive before seeking help. These two overlap each other so much that you can easily be misdiagnosed as Manic depressive if you are ADHD. I first started seeing a Dr. when I was very young. Then by 15 I stopped and stopped taking meds. I thought it was just fake. Then in my 30s I realized adhd was more real then I had known and accepted that my adhd was causing me issues in life. Meds definitely help, they can also make the depression worse, so I had to stop again for now. However it's not just meds, it's a whole lot more needed to truly make a change.
If you need any help or advise I'm always happy to answer
@@zaizoesclashing7103 I told my primary care doctor I’d schedule something with a therapist, but I haven’t done it yet 😅 it all seems so complicated, I could be prescribed meds and it could just make things worse. I currently smoke a lot of weed, and it kinda makes me less anxious… I guess, or I definitely feel like it helps me be numb to what’s going on in my mind. Idk bro, I guess I’m kind of lost and at this current point in my life I’m just focused on boxing and everything else I’m dissatisfied with. (I also got out of a relationship where I got cheated on which really screwed with me). Any kind of guidance would help 😅
"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."
- David Foster Wallace
I wish more people were like David Foster Wallace. A lot of people are so short sighted that they criticize something before even questioning themselves if they understand it.
Kinetic Vibe do you think maybe like if sum one were trying to extor anthony bourdain with sum compremising pics ( just a example) then the fact that he already has a past with depresion wich they say u never fully escape from, could of theoretically broke the camels back?
It is actually a side-effect of being rendered godless, and involves demonic spirits that infiltrate your thoughts, but the occult spiritualists that established the academic field known as "psychology", a manufactured paradigm (supported by other doctrines of demons - evolution, heliocentrism, etc. - that came from the Masons' Royal Society and elsewhere) convinced their indoctrinated victims that the mind is merely apart of the natural materialistic physical plane of experience, and the various cures for 'depression' are so misguided within this paradigm because the framework is purposefully misleading to never really cure you; that cure is actually spiritual, and it is found through repentance to God, our Creator, the heavenly father and one true God, and from here, the peace, hope, and joy of your renewed spirit that you're blessed with by hearing and placing faith in gospel of his only begotten son, Christ Jesus, thus living righteously in his name for eternal life
R.I.P. David Foster Wallace.
Joe Rogan is that idiot on the sidewalk who thinks he knows how to keep the guy from getting burned.
Ari describes mental illness so perfectly here. I can identify with so much he says. It's good to hear someone speak honestly about the different aspects of "depression". Discussions like these have to happen more. I feel a bit better about myself as well. Depression is a bitch. Hope one day I can find the right combo of meds and lifestyle to get out of my own dark place.
Matthew Diehm don't know you, but I'm rooting for you brother, as I'm in the same boat in a different ocean. Keep telling the salesman in your head that he's full of shit.
The segment at the end where Ari talks about shifting the focus by saying things that you're thankful for out loud and how eventually it improved his mood, is brilliant. As someone who has struggled heavily in the past this is a really amazing piece of advice I wish I would have had.
Yes.
I am diagnosed with major depression, it’s like walking up a mountain while pulling a mountain with a mountain pushing you down the mountain. Eventually I’ll let the 2 mountains meet.
It is hell. I hope things will change for you man
For me it's that feeling of being at my cousin's funeral and having the feeling that it will never go away.
I've never heard someone describe depression better than Ari just did. Good for both of them for discussing this and getting it out in the open. Rogan seems like a good friend.
totally! I don't have depression, but now I think I could say I 'get it', at least a little.
Norin Radd who is this guy talking to Joe??
Thanks for the video!
I lost my father, brother, sister-in-law, and both grandfathers to suicide.
I was too young (12) to do anything for my grandfathers, and it was kept very quiet.
The day before my father did it, I told him I loved him and was excited to see him the next day: we were going to see him and my mom for breakfast. He gave no indications that he was suicidal, though he did have good reason to be. He was always deeply melancholy and rarely spoke to me anyway. His suicide ripped my world apart: I barely knew my father and now I never would.
My brother's first attempt wasn't obvious: he ran his motorcycle off of the road in Las Vegas and was in a coma for three months. It seemed an accident. But he recovered quickly, returned home and succeeded about 6 months after he was released from recovery. I'd had a conversation with him the day before. He seemed down. I said, "Bro? Are you okay? You're not thinking of going out like dad did, are you?" "No, Tee!" he said. We talked for a while longer. We had a good conversation, undistorted by my mother's manipulation, for we'd both cast her out of our lives. When we were finished with the conversation, he said, "I wish we could have talked like this all of the time." I said that I agreed and looked forward to more. The next day, his wife called to tell me he was dead from an overdose.
And then she (my sister-in-law) killed herself, too, after taking every pill she had in her house and drinking herself to death. There was no reaching her: she was so detached from reality by this point. I was, too.
These latest three suicides happened between 2001 and 2005. I will say that the burden that suicide places on the still-living is unimaginable. Each time it felt like the universe opened a hole and swallowed me entirely, and there was never time to even try to move on from the last one before another, and another, and another suicide. I can't see "recovering" from this, from suicide after suicide of so many important people in my immediate family, to suddenly go traipsing through the Cult of Happiness's exuberant flatulence, hoping to get high off of the fumes of apparent Jungian bliss that so many claim comes easily to them, but instead I find ways to transmute the experience into something useful, if not for me, then at least perhaps for someone else. I struggled with depression growing up; what I experience now is psychotic depression. I won't deny that my "special tea" made from of psilocybin and cannabis provide the kind of "cast" that Ari discussed. In fact, Joe Rogan, your discussions figured heavily in my research and final decision-making process to try psilocybin, so thank you for being so open about your experiences.
Intentional, compassionate listening, without platitudes or advice, can help some people, but there are some who cannot be reached, and that's no one's fault. I can tell you that *tough love is not the way to go*. Do not play with a suicidal person's emotions. Be nice. Listen. Don't interrupt. Don't give advice. If they want to talk, let them talk. For example, in 2011, I crashed my car in my own suicide attempt. After being in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom called and asked me, "Where should I send the razor blades so that you can finish the job right?" (Like I said, my father had good reason to commit suicide. This is normal behavior for my mother). The three days I spent in the hospital on 1-to-1 observation, having the chance to talk and grieve with someone, did more to soothe my nerves than all the previous years of therapy.
Here's a little bit more on my general take on suicide and how I deal with it: www.quora.com/Why-do-people-call-others-selfish-because-they-want-to-kill-themselves-and-apparently-betray-their-family-Wouldnt-they-be-selfish-because-they-are-trying-to-force-someone-to-suffer-by-living
Thank you for this post.
I'm sorry for your losses. No one should have to lose those family members.
This is an important comment. Thank you.
This is late but I hope things are holding up for you. Life is tough and unfair but you are a strong person. You have a purpose. Just reading your post makes me have hope in my own personal struggle.
i too suffer from depression, though thankfully the worse of the feeling like shit and everything is meaningless, has greatly lessened over the years, but there are times rare as they thankfully are now, of which i have suicidal thoughts and feelings of loneliness and worthlessness, but what helps me is realizing that i do in fact truly have people that actually care about me as few as they are, of which i am blessed and to gather the courage to talk to them when i need help
R.I.P to a legend.
Lost one of my best friends when he shot himself. I had guilt for a long time because we had a fight 2 weeks before he did it.
All the signs where there and I felt I failed him as a friend. I still wish I would of did more, but you can't blame yourself. If anyone out there is going thru this please know that things can and will get better. Reach out and let your closest people how your feeling.
Realize that the pain your feeling can be fixed. Don't leave your loved ones in pain after you decide to take your life.
If you can go out and help others do it. it helps me to be of service to other less fortunate. Spread love and change can happen.
R.I.P to one of the best friends a guy like me could of asked for
Luv and miss you BIG NOSE everyday.
R.I.P. TO SCOTTY "BIG NOSE" BARRETT
This was an insightful conversation but the biggest thing I took from it maybe even (sadly) was how joe talk to his children when they make mistakes. I mean what an absolute loving father. I wish everyone had one
Depression and anxiety is the worse. It's scary.
Dude, I am a rape survivor and I was really little when it happened. It started when I was nine and I put him behind bars when I was about 15. I have struggled with mental shit my entire life. And I swear this is probably the most honest discussion about what depression really is and how it really feels. And having men talk about it was really cool because it kind of seems like it’s harder for men to talk about stuff like this. I absolutely love this. Comics are the shit because they’re honest. All their stuff comes from a very honest place if they’re a good comic. It’s hard to be honest with yourself when you’re depressed. Good job Joe n ari
you're so strong for getting through everything, sending you lots of love❤
Comics really are. I go to connect as a genre to discover truths of being human ❤️
You are a hero to yourself and others around, i hope the person who did this vile action burns in hell
thats fucked what happened to you dude...
I came within an inch of jumping under a NYC subway train. I got meds and serious therapy.....The meds worked and so did therapy. At 67....I found love and my life is awesome. Beyond my wild dreams. Never give up !!!!!!
As someone who has had suicidal ideations and diagnosed with major depressive disorder since age 18 (30 now), I’d say the best thing someone can do for someone else in that situation is just to be there for them. Let them know that you’re there for them if they want to talk or hangout or anything. Check in on them many times, even if they don’t respond back. Suicidal people will isolate themselves so they often won’t pick up the phone or respond to texts when someone checks in on them. Reaching out multiple times even with no response really shows that you care, and will often initiate a response. At least that was my experience when I was going thru a very difficult time in my life and was surprised one day to find a 2nd text from a friend asking how I was. I never even replied to the 1st text, so that 2nd one made me feel as tho she really did care. I guess it’s the feeling that comes from trying to push everyone away but some (very few) care enough to still be there. Ari says it perfectly at 24:14 &beyond: just being there for them but not requiring anything of them. And tough love indeed does NOT work. I’ll always remember Courtney love saying how that “tough love bullsh**” doesn’t work, when she was reading Kurt’s sui cider letter
What if you have no friends because of your past behaviors and no one even messages anymore? Asking for a friend.....
GR
@@eizenkcm88Then there's only you. You are the only friend left.
@@eizenkcm88You are never truly alone. You do it for you and you still do it for them. They may be burned out and you might not be able to lean on them but you do it out of gratitude for the times they were there for you. You might never get them back but you can earn back the love and respect you have for yourself through pursuit of becoming the human being you want to be and the person they would be proud to know.
@@eizenkcm88then join a book club or volunteer to feed homeless people, literally anything you can think of & just show up even if you have to force yourself. If you keep showing up you might find a friend there. If not, join another thing or volunteer someplace else until you meet someone. Or you could start your own group to meet also about anything. It’s very difficult, honestly, what I suggest takes strong courage but you can guarantee that if you need a friend, someone else out there does too. ❤
To hear ari talk about mental illness to hearing joey talk about addiction its been a huge breakthrough to hear these people explain it so dynamically its helped me actually realize I'm not the only one
Being bipolar, it took me 5 years of insanity and all consuming numbness and 3 times I toed the line of my life before I finally found the meds that worked for me. 2 years later and I am finally getting my life on track, it's hard but I am an example that you can get through it.
I am a survivor. 6 years ago I let myself lose control. I have a scar from 42 staples going up my forearm. I was so close. I thank god everyday for giving me a second chance. It does get better. Been sober 5 years this year and I’ll keep getting better!
I met Anthony during his Chefs Tour when he was in the Minneapolis airport. He was so nice. He could have easily just walked by but he stopped and talked for a few moments. Super guy. Wish he was still here.
With depression it really drains any enjoyment of anything, even the small hope of of a better future it feels like it’s telling you the truth that it’s meaningless and hopeless, and then there’s a lot of fear to even change because it’s like a fundamental part of you that when you think about a life without it you question if it’s actually truly you or just someone forced to be happy.
So much respect for this man to open up this much and talk about a tough topic. This helps us men more than you’ll know 🙏
It's not like having a hard time coming up with reasons to get out of bed, it's more like having a hard time coming up with reasons to keep breathing.
I think it’s because at some point you lay there and you’re like, none of this shit makes me happy. I’ve tried it all, and it doesn’t make me feel better, so what is the point of getting out of bed? I think I also doing this stuff isn’t going to make me feel worse either, but it usually does.
That’s just me though, not sure of everyone’s process.
@@gabe2349 Yep, it gets to the point where i feel like, What's the use? That's when it's really bad, when all interest is gone.
retrain your brain. you have countless reasons to be happy, focus on what you are grateful for .
@@cwildlife6882 it takes some work, but it is essential to develop the habit of mentally and emotionally reframing everything, and shake your mind, to something just a little more positive. Positive enough to keep you going for the moment. And the next moment, again. Because you are worth it. Good wishes.
Julia, keep, keep on breathing. 💗
Things that can help someone when they're suicidally depressed:
1) Not saying "you should talk to someone" when the person is talking with you
2) Not making the person feel like a burden
3) Financial help, if they need it, if their depression impairs their ability to work, which most likely it will
4) Asking them if they want to go out/do something - and continuing to ask this (without pressurising) - because one day they might say yes and this could be life-changing for them
5) Helping book them in for a salon/hairdresser/dentist appointment if their depression has begun to lead them to neglect themselves. Or helping them clean their home. Again, ask them if they want to help with this and keep asking, until one day they might say yes. At first it's likely they'll refuse help as they may think they're a lost cause. But something as trivial as getting their hair washed after weeks/months of neglect, or living in a tidied up room, could make so much difference to how the person feels and help start to change this mentality.
6) Not making the person feel guilty for being depressed - it's bizarre how many people use this tactic and think it'll help!
The above are just a few things, off the top of my head, that I wish people had done for me when I first became suicidally depressed. I was left to kind of fester in my depression, which led to it getting much, much worse, before I eventually started making efforts to recover, recovery being that much more difficult as a result of it first worsening. But I've been trying to recover all the same. One day at a time.
Wishing anyone going through depression the best.
Im in tears because if only someone could would help like all of the above... this shitty depression would not linger ... the people i had the courage to turn to put me down worse people seem disappointed or disbelief ... provoke wanting to see a show... not helping only to observe me crack... I pray one day to feel what happiness is suppose to be... I cry because i havent a clue...
...i really loved your comment.. thank you.. May we feel better somehow...
Lyna Galliara thank you for posting. It actually made me burst out crying and yah that surprised me.
Rossana Alvarado yah same tbh.
@@jiggajigjones8210 hold on ... we never know
I absolutely agree with you and you should say it again louder for the people in the back! Much love to all of you and to anyone struggling.
I lost my amazing daughter to suicide and still haven't dealt with it people say it wasn't your fault and there was nothing you could have done but as a father you feel like you or I let her down
I’m so sorry 😢 it really was not anything you could have done to save her I’m sure when they make up their minds that’s it. The only thing you can do now is to live your life with so much more meaning for her and for you and remaining members of your family. I’m truly sorry for your loss sir it’s a pain n parent should ever ever know.
Having lost my mum in 2022 the past year has been hell. I had depression growing and had a hard time with my outlook on life. Before she died I was doing well in my own business my gf and I where 4 years happy. But when she died I was on auto pilot and started to hate myself being suicidal and hating driving to work wanting to just give up. But calling Samaritans and exploding into a tyrant about how hard shit was turned into a catharsis and I’m doing better since.
Anyone needing help should seek it. I lost my 3 older brothers to overdoses. RIP David, Anthony, and Shawn. Miss you boys. Sending love to all of you who need it. Wherever you are.
You have my condolences ❤️
Oh honey. You are on my prayer list.
Im so sorry :(
Stay Strong Dee
I don’t know your situation nor your story but like you said anyone needing help should seek it so I’ll ask first. How are you doing?
This may sound weird but at the most depressed times of my life thinking about suicide feels helpful... there is a sense of that finality of not existing, trying to imagine it that has always made me feel grateful for life, for any life.
Right
This is accurate
Ari I’ve never heard someone explain exactly how I feel you’re the reason I got on meds I’ve fallen back into it but watching this might get me back on track
What a good friend Joe is to have paid for therapy for Ari what a great friend well done Joe.
This was the best way I’ve heard someone articulate depression before
Just lost a childhood friend to suicide at 22 years old. I absolutely cannot believe it.
Sorry
Sorry for your loss ❤️
Sorry for your loss bro
Hopefully they're at peace now.
So deeply sorry.
I found that when I fought Depression , it got me Hyper focused as a shepherd of my own thoughts. It was Intense. But after listening to this, it made me realize it has helped me focus on my Spirit journey,. The Depression pushed me to this. A good thing
i was finally able to cry watching this. i hate talking about my feelings, like i’m not supposed to. but fuck it, i feel heartbroken all the time. it’s that gut wrenching feeling every real man remembers, but that’s only PART of the physical.. i’m 130lbs 6ft tall. 23 years old, still living at home with mom.. still trying to find a way out. i need a reason to live just as much as i need one to finally give up
Alcohol and depression are a match made in hell. A depressed person stops caring, he stops wanting to take the best road because in his eyes every road is a bad road. Alcohol is a road they take because they have an inner desire to destroy themselves. I am that person and I've battled it for years. I'm clean for months and then something happens and I'm in the pit of despair and when you are there bad choices you think are good choices. In fact you know they're bad choices, but it doesn't matter anymore, you're in a state of mind you are lost. Sometimes you break free of it and you promise yourself you will never drink again but the monkey and depression linger like a demon on your shoulder.
Heere's Lukey try as many news things as possible, hopefully you can find a passion in life and work toward a vision of the future that is worth struggling towards
Heere's Lukey. My girlfriend of Five years is a sever Alcoholic and has been since ive known her when we met she was clean but relapsed 6 months in, she has 90 days 3 times since 2013 and she is in rehab for the second time in less than a month, the 5th time this year and 12th time in 2 years. She cant get right man, I wish no person to go through alcoholism, it is the worst drug in the known universe. its so tragic, its like she desperately wants to not drink but she cant like she could be sober and we leave to go grocery shopping and we get to the store and she uses the bathroom and comes out hammerd drunk because she found cooking wine or hand santizer. Like alcholism is 100 percent the most evil drug and its legal and everywhere and so ingrained into our society. im not a religious person but there is no way in hell that alcohol is not from some dark entity, devil or evil spirit. Good luck on your journey bro please stay the course
Alcohol makes peoples depression worse, and some people actually thinks it helps depression
Heere's Lukey heavy
You have to find something that is fun to do and you need meaningful work
In the "can't do this anymore" mode now.
Take care guys!
Watch some comedy or just rogan talking on inspiring topics
Same I hope it gets better
Hold on. I know how you feel, same here
We're here for you!
nobody knows what goes on in another human beings mind....
I’ve suffered from “Clinical Depression” for years and I’m only alive because I decided to stick around to find out what happens if I don’t give up. I stopped sharing it with people awhile ago. “Get over it” is said by people who have absolutely no idea what you’re going through. The bottom line is learning how to live moment to moment. Definitely exercise and take walks, but, those are just a few of the many ways someone suffering from “clinical depression” must use. Because the truth remains, no matter what society says about support, you can not count on anything or anyone but YOU!!! No one really cares and even if they do, they can’t help you. You must decide to help yourself otherwise you’re chances of getting past it are pretty slim. Be well.
Well said! I was blessed with great mental health most of my life but recently for reasons unknown and no external cause, depression and s. ideation hit me like a ton of bricks. Still in the phase of seeking answers (want to rule out physical underlying causes, since it was so abrupt like a light switch being flicked, before I fully go down the psychological path) but I can't agree with you more, the thing keeping me going is wanting to see what happens if I don't give up. I also have a friend who's battled far more of these demons than me for the past 5 years and he hasn't given up, I always had empathy but I didn't actually understand, now that I actually do understand I'm almost moved by his efforts. So I don't want to give up either even if it sucks along the way and may, and even somewhat is already, significantly send my life down a different path than I had planned if it doesn't go away, which is upsetting. But hey, maybe it will go away.
It's also insanely weird because before being stuck in this state, I loved life and thought it'd be great to live to 100 years of age if I could. Now in this state, it's like damn, 70 even feels like a long time, maybe that would be enough and even that could be a slog. But at least I have the perspective of experiencing both to know that it comes down to brain state somehow, neither is an objective reality. Anyway, yeah, my plan to cope is the "let's not give up" approach, seems OK so far. I agree with you exercise is a tool that can bring some relief but is not a total answer. I'm on a new journey now, let's see how it goes. And best of luck to you as well.
For sure
He nailed it. Really summed up and was honest about it. It really rings true the fact that you almost miss the issues as they had become such a part of your life.
I've never heard someone articulate how depression feels so perfectly. When he was describing it as making everything just the tiniest bit worst and building up and how you become attached to that feeling, that's exactly how it was for me. I just gained so much respect for Ari.
Time stamp?
"I'm the architect of my own happiness" Definitely words to live by.
justinsousaguitar I have a poster that has 7 rules of life on it. #6...you are in charge of your own happiness.
is this a crossover episode?
Clinical depression is an inherited genetic disease like a predisposition to cancer. For those folks with catatonic depression the chemicals in their brain are so messed up no matter what they do nothing will make them happy more than a few hours.
justinsousaguitar if only we didn’t slave away in our jobs to survive we could do that
Justin, your remark tells me you didn't take anything from this conversation. What's your remedy for drug addiction, just say no? Depression can be caused be a chemical imbalance in the brain, and the depressed person does not have the capability to cure themselves.
Props to UA-cam for linking suicide prevention information with this video. And props to anyone out there struggling with depression or mind trauma or whatever you want to call it. There is a future waiting for you where everything is better.
Or where everything’s worse.
See, this is a well intended message that enters a depressed brain like mine the wrong way. Sometimes the future is not better. Things don’t always get better, and it feels like people that say these things are selling us a bs fantasy that we refuse to buy. How do you know there’s a future for me where everything is better?