Here are some tips for loving and supporting someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD): Learn about BPD: Educate yourself about the disorder's symptoms and characteristics. Be patient: Therapy and medication can take time to work. Be supportive: Let your partner know you see and hear them, even if you don't understand what they're going through. Set boundaries: Establish healthy limits and be firm about maintaining them. Encourage treatment: Help your partner learn about their treatment options and encourage them to follow their therapist's recommendations. Avoid judgment: Don't blame your partner for their condition or behaviors that are out of their control. Give them space: Offer your partner time to process their emotions on their own. Practice active listening: Be a good listener and try to communicate effectively. Express appreciation: Let your partner know you love them by telling them, giving them sincere compliments, or doing thoughtful acts of service. Make time for self-care: Build a support network for when your partner isn't available, and make time for activities that bring you joy
No behaviour is out of control, by definition we all have agency. Also judgement is natural to humans so you're really asking for a suppression instead of communication, which would be healthier. Otherwise resentments fester and emerge later in other ways. Judgements are not invalid, they can be useful tools for learning and understanding. By definition, they may not be able to process their emotions alone, called emotional regulation, without guidance but that should be from a professional, not a romantic suitor or prospect. It's important to remember that "no pathology absolves criminal responsibility" as I was trained so if there's any DV on either side, that isn't the condition. That is them. They choose to do it, which is why they can switch it off in public or whenever it's convenient. See the book Why does he do that? by a DV researcher for further details. It's available free on google. Obviously both sexes can do it.
The best thing you can do for someone with that label is tell them it means nothing! Bpd was a term meant to degrade and demean people, especially women, it’s the “new hysteria.” Personality disorders do not exist, personality is a concept and a concept cannot be disordered! And it’s “untreatable” which gives big pharma more money and keeps people in the system.
What makes Lestat so compelling to me, like all tragic characters, is that every single one of his trauma responses is precisely what keeps him from getting what he needs, turning his fears into a self-fulfilled prophecy. It's like a trainwreck you can't look away from. There's something deeply sad about him, and I think it's bc unlike Louis, he tends to be very open about how he feels. His loneliness, his desire to be loved, even when it comes off as manipulative, I don’t doubt for a second he's being genuine, and yet, instead of using it to connect with Louis, he ends up holding it like a weapon, which inevitably drives him away. Their relationship is truly fascinating, the way they manage to bring out their worst fears in each other. Like, Lestat could've easily chosen a pushover who would've worshipped the ground he walked on, but instead he falls for Louis, who is every bit as broken and complicated as he is. They truly are a narrative goldmine. I can’t wait to see where they take these characters in season 3!
At a certain level of studying psychology, you realise we're ALL self-fulfilling prophecies. This has even been studied. People often say NPD for him but a narcissist by definition lacks self-awareness, unless they're pushing for psychopath. Doubt that too. Somatic narcissism? A little, highly indulgent but a vampire would be. No fear of never going to Heaven for various sins. He really kinda becomes his father in places, role modelling is normal but the parent may not be. Louis is really Nikki 2.0 and it's important to remember that, he was basically initially a rebound option for his first love. First love forms our way of thinking in relationships. He has a repetition compulsion with Louis from Nikki so it's really all Armand's fault for torturing Nicki into insanity as a vampire.
I feel like it's even more clear in the trial scene and how he twisted certain situations to fill his desires. The crazy thing is it's obvious that Louis loved him but he exaggerated things to make it look like Louis was obsessed with him whilst also emphasizing how alone he felt. It would've showed even without all of that and Louis was agreeing in the background to the parts that were true so why do that? I do also think he wanted reassurance that he didn't get from Louis and even if he got it he'd still be afraid.
I have always loved the 8 of swords card in tarot. Blindfolded and bound but surrounded by swords you could use to free yourself from torment. Reading this made me think of it. I've always felt like that card was a Borderline card. We were imprisoned by others but we keep ourselves there.
You are only seeing Lestat through the eyes of Louis in this first book IWAV . You will get a well rounded view of him and have better understanding in the BOL .
These are some great tips. However what does this person get in return it is not fair for any one person to take on such a burden and not hold the other person accountable for their own behavior the person with the disorder must do whatever it takes to management so not to put a burden on others. If they truly love someone, they wouldn't want to put anyone through that
As a BPD myself, I can confirm it's a textbook case: the symptoms are well explained in the video, even if not all of us check all those boxes (but of course he does). The sheer intensity of his feelings it's also an indicator: When I re-read the saga as an adult in full BPD bloom I was shocked with the feeling of being understood, and there's a phrase of QOTD that hit home so damned hard: "I think to be this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn." That describes perfectly the way sharp intense, painful emotions we have, the way that sometimes even happiness (or love) is so overwhelming that it turns into something else. The hiperfixations, the flightiness, the murderous rage, the black void of sadness, the euphoria that is followed by a profound ennui. It's pretty shitty. So I'm a bit of a Lestat apologist, I just want to see our baby girl to get all he wants and get away with anything, for all of us that are not fictional vampires and have to struggle everyday to behave like normal people.
I think my love for Lestat is heightened is because he keeps his emotions real. You can see them all the time he doesn’t really hide them. He’ll lie straight out his mouth but the raw emotions are right there in his intonation, body language, expressions etc
Looking at it from both seasons lens, it really does show that even though NOW it is incredibly apparent that Louis did/does love Lestat. Throughout the relationship Louis never really dissuaded Lestat's fear of being in a one sided relationship. Never saying I Love you, and never really communicating about the particulars about their relationship. Always dangling the carrot that was eternal companionship together but also ready to leave when Claudia came back. Especially hurtful because her existence as a vampire was based on the promise that Louis Would Never Leave if Lestat did it for him. Maybe that's why Lestat kept going back to Antoinette. Atleast she was obvious about her affections, in the decades they knew eachother.
I would say vulnerable narcissism from Louis, control by omission usually. Stonewalling on saying he loves him etc. One foot out the door, very self pitying. Always the victim. Never satisfied despite accommodations, triangulation with other parties e.g. Claudia.
@@seabreeze4559I don’t understand where are you coming from, and where do you see him “self-pitying” anywhere in the series. His life after Lestat appeared became misery and suffering, he literally got transformed when he was in his most vulnerable state of mind, after his bother sui…. and he wanted to end it all too. Then his family abandoned him and he only had Lestat, but then he had to choose between Claudia and him. Out of the two, I think Louis was the one who suffered the most
@@whatever-n2jI think his life was pretty miserable before Lestat. He was a closeted gay man pretending to be a hard man pimp which he knew was morally wrong. Paul's suicide and his mam blaming him for it pushed him over the edge. He was on the verge of suicide or a mental breakdown. Lestat really did save him and give him a gift which he just couldn't appreciate at the time. He literally seen him for who he really was and wanted him to embrace that, but Louis couldn't - he kept hiding and feeling sorry for himself. But by the end of the second series we see he does. He apologises for how he treated Lestat, thanks him for the gift, and admits that he was just as toxic in the relationship - ignoring Lestat, never saying he loved him, threatening him and manipulating him into turning Claudia. He used Lestat's biggest fears against him which is just horrible. People seem to be very blind to the fact that Louis can be incredibly cruel as well.
He was alone for a really long time so I think he had time to cope up with his feelings and dealt with them very well which made him calmer then before
Wow, some really great insights into their relationship . It's a shame some people can't get past the premise of them being a gay couple because this is truly a great love story that anyone should be able to relate to.
I appreciate that this is a safe space for fans to have fun and psychoanalyze our favorite characters, but also where we can share real, deep things about ourselves ❤️🔥❤️🔥
i'm so glad i'm not the only one who suspected this. i have had my BPD diagnosis for 9 years now, and when i watched this show i always related so much to lestat. but because of the symptoms of BPD that he shows, is what made him relatable to me. and i feel like even though it isn't canon that he has BPD, he is the best representation of it to me. thank you for this video!
My mother and i both have BPD but she has been very adamant that even with her diagnosis she is "perfectly fine" whereas i have remorse & know i need help. Its been a very long time since the beginning g she has stayed the same & i have jad support & care to help me learn. I have a beautiful family without toxicity but my mom still has every kind of toxicity in hers. Lestat reminds me a lot of myself as a teen & of my mother but tbh ive geown a lot i hope i dont seem the same, at least as often. you are not your BPD, you can be loved, you can love others and not just obsess. You can be kind and patient and understanding. Make sure you have what helps you be you.
@@seabreeze4559 I've gone over a few things like npd but that suits my grandpa way more but I haven't had the chance to research sociopathy or anything else. Tbh I should, thank you.
They just released a Season 3 The Vampire Lestat Sneak Peek Teaser, and it's incredible and marvelous I'm screaming!!!😍🤯 It's on the offical AMC UA-cam. Cheers☺
No stop because I've been denying that I have bpd but then I was watching season 2 and literally joking to myself that Lestat is so me. Now this video shows up and I fear I have to accept it.
Not really. The rejection sensitivity construct looks alike but the motives and process differ entirely. Easy to miss at first glance though, I can see why people think so. NPD is a hollow shell. BPD is like a big ball of raw emotion palpating at the slightest imagined provocation. He's self-indulgent but any vampire would be, since they don't fear the Afterlife. Carte blanche on behaviour if they don't fear the fiery place. If we're taking the characters seriously. A narcissist would crave attention because it's never enough, but Lestat seems perfectly contented to live with Louis for a long time and he seemed perfectly contented working at the theatre as a mortal even. A narcissist would need more, it's never enough for them to be contented they are constitutionally incapable of it. Shades of codependency perhaps but more BPD in my opinion. Some traits of somatic narcissism (sleeping around, binge "drinking", smoking) but he disdains books for personal reasons so cerebral type is entirely out. Sometimes flaunts musical knowledge but it's contextual so fine. Quite normal. It isn't like he can get lung cancer from smoking is it?
I think in season 3 you will maybe see things from Lestat’s side Louie was very tainted in his view, so was Claudia. I don’t think Lestat is without fault but I think he had a much more caring nature than Louie was aware of!
Now I’m wondering, if he were to be diagnosed in the show, hypothetically, would medication work on a vampire? Would he have to ingest it mixed in the blood?
That really interesting as someone who have bpd and is a soon to be psychiatre i didn't really though of it well now that i do he have effectively a lot of signs of it the manipulation ,the violence only to not be alone he is a lot in his relationship the feelings of emptiness and well if he have a issues with abandonement in his past then that it he must have it well i don't know yet in the show we didn't have enough of lestat thought so well let wait fpr season 3
Here are some tips for loving and supporting someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD):
Learn about BPD: Educate yourself about the disorder's symptoms and characteristics.
Be patient: Therapy and medication can take time to work.
Be supportive: Let your partner know you see and hear them, even if you don't understand what they're going through.
Set boundaries: Establish healthy limits and be firm about maintaining them.
Encourage treatment: Help your partner learn about their treatment options and encourage them to follow their therapist's recommendations.
Avoid judgment: Don't blame your partner for their condition or behaviors that are out of their control.
Give them space: Offer your partner time to process their emotions on their own.
Practice active listening: Be a good listener and try to communicate effectively.
Express appreciation: Let your partner know you love them by telling them, giving them sincere compliments, or doing thoughtful acts of service.
Make time for self-care: Build a support network for when your partner isn't available, and make time for activities that bring you joy
No behaviour is out of control, by definition we all have agency. Also judgement is natural to humans so you're really asking for a suppression instead of communication, which would be healthier. Otherwise resentments fester and emerge later in other ways. Judgements are not invalid, they can be useful tools for learning and understanding. By definition, they may not be able to process their emotions alone, called emotional regulation, without guidance but that should be from a professional, not a romantic suitor or prospect. It's important to remember that "no pathology absolves criminal responsibility" as I was trained so if there's any DV on either side, that isn't the condition. That is them. They choose to do it, which is why they can switch it off in public or whenever it's convenient. See the book Why does he do that? by a DV researcher for further details. It's available free on google. Obviously both sexes can do it.
@@seabreeze4559 By definition, we don't.
The best thing you can do for someone with that label is tell them it means nothing! Bpd was a term meant to degrade and demean people, especially women, it’s the “new hysteria.” Personality disorders do not exist, personality is a concept and a concept cannot be disordered! And it’s “untreatable” which gives big pharma more money and keeps people in the system.
What makes Lestat so compelling to me, like all tragic characters, is that every single one of his trauma responses is precisely what keeps him from getting what he needs, turning his fears into a self-fulfilled prophecy. It's like a trainwreck you can't look away from. There's something deeply sad about him, and I think it's bc unlike Louis, he tends to be very open about how he feels. His loneliness, his desire to be loved, even when it comes off as manipulative, I don’t doubt for a second he's being genuine, and yet, instead of using it to connect with Louis, he ends up holding it like a weapon, which inevitably drives him away. Their relationship is truly fascinating, the way they manage to bring out their worst fears in each other. Like, Lestat could've easily chosen a pushover who would've worshipped the ground he walked on, but instead he falls for Louis, who is every bit as broken and complicated as he is. They truly are a narrative goldmine. I can’t wait to see where they take these characters in season 3!
At a certain level of studying psychology, you realise we're ALL self-fulfilling prophecies. This has even been studied. People often say NPD for him but a narcissist by definition lacks self-awareness, unless they're pushing for psychopath. Doubt that too. Somatic narcissism? A little, highly indulgent but a vampire would be. No fear of never going to Heaven for various sins. He really kinda becomes his father in places, role modelling is normal but the parent may not be. Louis is really Nikki 2.0 and it's important to remember that, he was basically initially a rebound option for his first love. First love forms our way of thinking in relationships. He has a repetition compulsion with Louis from Nikki so it's really all Armand's fault for torturing Nicki into insanity as a vampire.
I feel like it's even more clear in the trial scene and how he twisted certain situations to fill his desires. The crazy thing is it's obvious that Louis loved him but he exaggerated things to make it look like Louis was obsessed with him whilst also emphasizing how alone he felt. It would've showed even without all of that and Louis was agreeing in the background to the parts that were true so why do that? I do also think he wanted reassurance that he didn't get from Louis and even if he got it he'd still be afraid.
I have always loved the 8 of swords card in tarot. Blindfolded and bound but surrounded by swords you could use to free yourself from torment. Reading this made me think of it. I've always felt like that card was a Borderline card. We were imprisoned by others but we keep ourselves there.
You are only seeing Lestat through the eyes of Louis in this first book IWAV . You will get a well rounded view of him and have better understanding in the BOL .
These are some great tips. However what does this person get in return it is not fair for any one person to take on such a burden and not hold the other person accountable for their own behavior the person with the disorder must do whatever it takes to management so not to put a burden on others. If they truly love someone, they wouldn't want to put anyone through that
As a BPD myself, I can confirm it's a textbook case: the symptoms are well explained in the video, even if not all of us check all those boxes (but of course he does). The sheer intensity of his feelings it's also an indicator: When I re-read the saga as an adult in full BPD bloom I was shocked with the feeling of being understood, and there's a phrase of QOTD that hit home so damned hard: "I think to be this happy is to be miserable, to feel this much satisfaction is to burn."
That describes perfectly the way sharp intense, painful emotions we have, the way that sometimes even happiness (or love) is so overwhelming that it turns into something else. The hiperfixations, the flightiness, the murderous rage, the black void of sadness, the euphoria that is followed by a profound ennui. It's pretty shitty.
So I'm a bit of a Lestat apologist, I just want to see our baby girl to get all he wants and get away with anything, for all of us that are not fictional vampires and have to struggle everyday to behave like normal people.
I think my love for Lestat is heightened is because he keeps his emotions real. You can see them all the time he doesn’t really hide them. He’ll lie straight out his mouth but the raw emotions are right there in his intonation, body language, expressions etc
Looking at it from both seasons lens, it really does show that even though NOW it is incredibly apparent that Louis did/does love Lestat. Throughout the relationship Louis never really dissuaded Lestat's fear of being in a one sided relationship. Never saying I Love you, and never really communicating about the particulars about their relationship. Always dangling the carrot that was eternal companionship together but also ready to leave when Claudia came back. Especially hurtful because her existence as a vampire was based on the promise that Louis Would Never Leave if Lestat did it for him.
Maybe that's why Lestat kept going back to Antoinette. Atleast she was obvious about her affections, in the decades they knew eachother.
Sadboi Louis wasn't giving what Lestat wanted. a very complicated relationship.
I would say vulnerable narcissism from Louis, control by omission usually. Stonewalling on saying he loves him etc. One foot out the door, very self pitying. Always the victim. Never satisfied despite accommodations, triangulation with other parties e.g. Claudia.
@@seabreeze4559I don’t understand where are you coming from, and where do you see him “self-pitying” anywhere in the series. His life after Lestat appeared became misery and suffering, he literally got transformed when he was in his most vulnerable state of mind, after his bother sui…. and he wanted to end it all too. Then his family abandoned him and he only had Lestat, but then he had to choose between Claudia and him. Out of the two, I think Louis was the one who suffered the most
@@whatever-n2jI think his life was pretty miserable before Lestat. He was a closeted gay man pretending to be a hard man pimp which he knew was morally wrong. Paul's suicide and his mam blaming him for it pushed him over the edge. He was on the verge of suicide or a mental breakdown. Lestat really did save him and give him a gift which he just couldn't appreciate at the time. He literally seen him for who he really was and wanted him to embrace that, but Louis couldn't - he kept hiding and feeling sorry for himself. But by the end of the second series we see he does. He apologises for how he treated Lestat, thanks him for the gift, and admits that he was just as toxic in the relationship - ignoring Lestat, never saying he loved him, threatening him and manipulating him into turning Claudia. He used Lestat's biggest fears against him which is just horrible. People seem to be very blind to the fact that Louis can be incredibly cruel as well.
@@IndieRockerHippy Still, I don’t think both situations are even remotely comparable, but go on I guess
beautiful princess disorder!
Him being so quiet at the end after all the rest is just heartbreaking.
He was alone for a really long time so I think he had time to cope up with his feelings and dealt with them very well which made him calmer then before
Literally handing that guy his suffering from loneliness in the theater is the most Borderline thing
Wow, some really great insights into their relationship . It's a shame some people can't get past the premise of them being a gay couple because this is truly a great love story that anyone should be able to relate to.
I appreciate that this is a safe space for fans to have fun and psychoanalyze our favorite characters, but also where we can share real, deep things about ourselves ❤️🔥❤️🔥
I believe in season 3 we will to some degree see their lives together from his pov. I bet we will see Louis acting not near as kind as in season 1.
i'm so glad i'm not the only one who suspected this. i have had my BPD diagnosis for 9 years now, and when i watched this show i always related so much to lestat. but because of the symptoms of BPD that he shows, is what made him relatable to me. and i feel like even though it isn't canon that he has BPD, he is the best representation of it to me. thank you for this video!
My mother and i both have BPD but she has been very adamant that even with her diagnosis she is "perfectly fine" whereas i have remorse & know i need help. Its been a very long time since the beginning g she has stayed the same & i have jad support & care to help me learn. I have a beautiful family without toxicity but my mom still has every kind of toxicity in hers. Lestat reminds me a lot of myself as a teen & of my mother but tbh ive geown a lot i hope i dont seem the same, at least as often. you are not your BPD, you can be loved, you can love others and not just obsess. You can be kind and patient and understanding. Make sure you have what helps you be you.
She could be a misdiagnosed sociopath. Callousness is an ASPD thing.
@@seabreeze4559 I've gone over a few things like npd but that suits my grandpa way more but I haven't had the chance to research sociopathy or anything else. Tbh I should, thank you.
They just released a Season 3 The Vampire Lestat Sneak Peek Teaser, and it's incredible and marvelous I'm screaming!!!😍🤯 It's on the offical AMC UA-cam. Cheers☺
I have BPD and when I said this in a group people acted like I’d shot their mom
i’m so sorry
Might? We’ve been knew
All vampires of every damn fiction are BPD coded as hell- me someone who has it 😂😂😂
After finishing season 2 I thought about that, great video!
I also think about Louis, Daniel did ask if he was schizofrenic...
I've long thought the same thing actually, as a psychologist, there's also proof of Histrionic Personality, the seductive one.
Can you explain?
I love psychoanalysing characters. I’m surprised I haven’t seen so much of it on tvc characters
No stop because I've been denying that I have bpd but then I was watching season 2 and literally joking to myself that Lestat is so me. Now this video shows up and I fear I have to accept it.
I think you’re right!
I can't help it I love him
He also has strong narcissistic features
Not really. The rejection sensitivity construct looks alike but the motives and process differ entirely. Easy to miss at first glance though, I can see why people think so. NPD is a hollow shell. BPD is like a big ball of raw emotion palpating at the slightest imagined provocation. He's self-indulgent but any vampire would be, since they don't fear the Afterlife. Carte blanche on behaviour if they don't fear the fiery place. If we're taking the characters seriously. A narcissist would crave attention because it's never enough, but Lestat seems perfectly contented to live with Louis for a long time and he seemed perfectly contented working at the theatre as a mortal even. A narcissist would need more, it's never enough for them to be contented they are constitutionally incapable of it. Shades of codependency perhaps but more BPD in my opinion. Some traits of somatic narcissism (sleeping around, binge "drinking", smoking) but he disdains books for personal reasons so cerebral type is entirely out. Sometimes flaunts musical knowledge but it's contextual so fine. Quite normal. It isn't like he can get lung cancer from smoking is it?
Yes 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Yes 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
@@seabreeze4559Hey babe. As someone with NPD, I'm not a hollow shell. I'm like.....an actual person.
@@seabreeze4559THIS
I think in season 3 you will maybe see things from Lestat’s side Louie was very tainted in his view, so was Claudia. I don’t think Lestat is without fault but I think he had a much more caring nature than Louie was aware of!
THIS THISSSS THIS
How do you take the music out of this footage?
Now I’m wondering, if he were to be diagnosed in the show, hypothetically, would medication work on a vampire? Would he have to ingest it mixed in the blood?
it wouldn’t work imo
If he were diagnosed in the show millions of people would be pissed off and I think that's beautiful.
Should i js watch this over again 😞😞
That really interesting as someone who have bpd and is a soon to be psychiatre i didn't really though of it well now that i do he have effectively a lot of signs of it the manipulation ,the violence only to not be alone he is a lot in his relationship the feelings of emptiness and well if he have a issues with abandonement in his past then that it he must have it well i don't know yet in the show we didn't have enough of lestat thought so well let wait fpr season 3
He’s got so many things! 😂