I'm in GA. I have a dedicated retention case manager. She verbally check in with me monthly and in person quarterly. She is amazing. I can and have gone to her with issues and frustrations on many things. She is an excellent sounding board and stepped in for me when I was struggling with a placement's case manager.
We 'had' two children placed with us with the intent of being adopted. Without going into all the details, the youngest made allegations against us to her therapist. Thus, now an investigation is under way, right before Thanksgiving. Both children have been moved at this point and we are in limbo. Everything went down within a week and a half. The only real communication we are getting is, we will call you when the investigation is over, it will take 45-60 days. Meanwhile, we continue to attend our support group and talk to our support team (not case workers). There are many actions our support team is recommending we should have taken. 1) As the child was threatening to make allegations against us prior to her therapy appointment, we should have talked to the therapist in advance before her session. The discussion should have presented a clear understanding of what the child was saying and why she was upset. After the therapist talked to our child she was not able to communicate with us afterwards, is the key point here. 2) Documentation is always recommended, you can never have enough documentation. I have video of my oldest child threatening to kill us in our sleep as an example. 3) We were very open in communicating with our team but, at this point (1 month later) we have caught our case workers not being honest with us. Our support team always said it is not a matter of if allegations will happen but, when. They followed that up with, when it happens your case workers will disappear. They were right. 4) You can make a request for the investigative report once it is complete. I am not sure how that is going to help but, as I said, we have caught both our case worker and the children's case worker being dishonest with us. If we are even allowed to continue as foster or adoptive parents we would need a team we can trust. The children were with us for 16 months, much longer than it usually takes to adopt waiting children. Behaviors were declining. There were a lot of options the case workers could have chosen to eventually move the children from our home. The youngest had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized for a week, the children actually left as soon as we brought her home from the hospital, where our case worker was waiting for us to provide that news to all of us. We will always love them, we miss them very much, especially with the holiday's but, this is probably for the best for all four of us. Regardless, this two months of limbo not knowing what the investigator report is going to determine creates many sleepless nights. We have been fostering for over four years, we took a shot at adopting children on the waiting to adopt list but, that could all be over depending on the investigators report. We are in Kentucky, the children came from Ohio.
What if you have a 17 yo living with you and they turn 18 and they keep living there, would you have to update your home study then or just simply notify them?
I'm in GA. I have a dedicated retention case manager. She verbally check in with me monthly and in person quarterly. She is amazing. I can and have gone to her with issues and frustrations on many things. She is an excellent sounding board and stepped in for me when I was struggling with a placement's case manager.
Love to hear these positive experiences being shared 🫶🏼
Girl, your county (or counties) seem a lot more rigid than mine. I'm not sure that would have resulted in a violation in NY.
We 'had' two children placed with us with the intent of being adopted. Without going into all the details, the youngest made allegations against us to her therapist. Thus, now an investigation is under way, right before Thanksgiving. Both children have been moved at this point and we are in limbo. Everything went down within a week and a half. The only real communication we are getting is, we will call you when the investigation is over, it will take 45-60 days. Meanwhile, we continue to attend our support group and talk to our support team (not case workers). There are many actions our support team is recommending we should have taken. 1) As the child was threatening to make allegations against us prior to her therapy appointment, we should have talked to the therapist in advance before her session. The discussion should have presented a clear understanding of what the child was saying and why she was upset. After the therapist talked to our child she was not able to communicate with us afterwards, is the key point here. 2) Documentation is always recommended, you can never have enough documentation. I have video of my oldest child threatening to kill us in our sleep as an example. 3) We were very open in communicating with our team but, at this point (1 month later) we have caught our case workers not being honest with us. Our support team always said it is not a matter of if allegations will happen but, when. They followed that up with, when it happens your case workers will disappear. They were right. 4) You can make a request for the investigative report once it is complete. I am not sure how that is going to help but, as I said, we have caught both our case worker and the children's case worker being dishonest with us. If we are even allowed to continue as foster or adoptive parents we would need a team we can trust.
The children were with us for 16 months, much longer than it usually takes to adopt waiting children. Behaviors were declining. There were a lot of options the case workers could have chosen to eventually move the children from our home. The youngest had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized for a week, the children actually left as soon as we brought her home from the hospital, where our case worker was waiting for us to provide that news to all of us. We will always love them, we miss them very much, especially with the holiday's but, this is probably for the best for all four of us. Regardless, this two months of limbo not knowing what the investigator report is going to determine creates many sleepless nights. We have been fostering for over four years, we took a shot at adopting children on the waiting to adopt list but, that could all be over depending on the investigators report. We are in Kentucky, the children came from Ohio.
What if you have a 17 yo living with you and they turn 18 and they keep living there, would you have to update your home study then or just simply notify them?
❤