FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP! Korean friend and I debate our point of views
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- Things me and my best friend Kevin consider Red Flags in a relationship! Hope you enjoy the video :)
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여러분 생각하는 Red Flag 댓글로 알려주세요~ 다음영상에서 언급할수도있어요~ Let me know what you guys consider a red flag in the comments :0 Might include your comments in the next video!
The first is NOT a red flag! how dare you? 😂 well I wouldn’t ask my boyfriend if he trusted me or not. Because I already know that he trusts me and he wouldn’t be angry if I didn’t call or text him as soon as I got home anyway!
Because that would be called “being clingy” 🙄
Is he DID get angry I WOULD ask that because such a reaction is the Red Flag.
0:47 wow you don’t……you’re not human then
For me I wouldn’t even say that I WOULD call or text when I get home. Unless I was told to then I would. Otherwise, no.
1:10 no!?
1:19 that’s a very subjective thing though
Even if I were the _recipient_ of those calls and texts, I would still consider it clingy behaviour
1:48 exes can’t be friends? I am and my boyfriend don’t care.
2:20 Honey, YOU are the red flag here. That is very clingy and micromanage-y!😂
@@antoniocasias5545 oh agreed
For me, a red flag is overly jealous and possessive guys. I can understand being worried in some situations, but I don't want to feel like I'm doing something wrong every second that I interact with someone. Another red flag, personally, is someone who says "I love you" very soon after dating. It makes me feel uncomfy because its like.... you barely know me...
Oh man, the instant ‘I love you’ triggers me
@@TheWorldofDave Definitely, and then there's that awkward hesitation on my end like "Do I lie and say it back or do I just straight up tell them I don't feel the same yet and potentially hurt their feelings?"
For me it's possessiveness like I like it to a point but for me.. I'm friends with alot of my ex's and guys in general like my baby daddy is my best friend but if I got with someone who couldn't understand that I couldn't be with them period (especially if it's my baby daddy due to alot of reasons I mean my child needs us to get along for the sake of there sanity for one) UNLESS they are ok with my guy friends and ex's as friends but they are uncomfortable with certain one's and didn't want me hanging out with them then that's a whole different situation because the fact that they could be picking up on some ulterior motives of said "friends" that I'm not recognizing that's when you stop and understand there perspective. But I can not except the whole guys and girls can't be friends shit.
@@weazy.b4487 I agree. I think guys and girls can be friends. I couldnt date someone who didn't accept my guy friends because they're worried I may cheat, because at the end of the day, if I wanted my friend- I would date my friend instead of them. Majority of my guy friends have been around since elementary to high school- and my first love is also my best friend who also happens to be my neighbor lol so my boyfriend would have to just accept them or else I'm out.
They should do part 2 with a women on there they’re missing 90% of the red flags. Maybe they left some of it out tho bc they just consider it flat out abuse like judging your significant other based on their clothes.
Some other red flags:
making rude remarks about how other girls look like. Judgy people judge everyone.
saying “you’re prettier/smarter/more mature than most girls your age”
believe they’re less superficial then most people
believe that they’ll be rich soon bc they study finance.
The only thing I can agree with in this entire video is being on the phone while on a date, it's just rude no matter who you're with. The rest of these "red flags" just sound emotionally immature, insecure, and controlling.
I can't imagine having to tell my bf every time I go out and when I come back... that just sounds insane to me. If you're constantly worried about cheating, that means there is no trust in the relationship and it's already over. If you are worried about this in every relationship, it's because of your own insecurities, and I don't recommend being in a relationship at all in that case. Also, a lot of people who tend to worry that much about cheating are projecting because they have imagined themselves cheating in such a situation 👀Just saying.
Controlling who your partner talks to and is friends with is toxic af... I am friends with some exes because we broke up amicably, and I have many guy friends who I think of as brothers. My bf has girl friends as well, and that's 100% okay with me because we are mature adults and we trust each other, it really is that simple.
Please I couldn't agree more. I haven't been in any relationship but I think it should be clear that confidence is key if you're in one. When you're dating somebody, you're putting your trust in them. If you believe that they're cheating on you just because they went out and did not send a message otw home, just don't date. By thinking like that there's gonna be much more suffering than happiness... In my view, not trusting your partner is the very actual red flag.
Thank you. I'm a dude and most of my friends are girls, I can't imagine just throwing them all away and ditching them just because I'm dating someone. A relationship is supposed to be built on trust and communication. If you have to constantly worry about your partner just cuz they have a lot of the opposite sex friends then that to me just sounds like you're insecure and have no trust.
The marriage one too also made no sense to me. If you and your ex ended on good terms and are still cool with each other why is it such a big red flag to invite them? Mature people know how to establish boundaries and anyone worth your damn in a relationship knows that what's past is past. If they betray you, that's their problem. Not yours.
Thank you!!! If you were friends before the relationship, and/or you broke up in an amicable way, why can't... why can't you just be friends?? I don't get what they are saying. I agree with them only in the case of a bad breakup - you should distance yourself from people who hurt you or were a toxic presence in your life... sounds childish to me, pretending you don't have a good friendship wiyh an ex, or even just being in amicable terms. Dave lost me on that one tbh
I wasn't even good at keeping my parents updated on that stuff as a teenager lol. And I constantly have the habit of leaving a friend's place and them telling me to text them when I get home to know I'm safe, but I just forget. It's just my nature tbh. If someone fixated on that so much we just wouldn't last.
It's one thing to tell your s/o about your plans because you want to and another to feel obligated to. Like, I'm my own person and I have my own life, why do I need to tell someone else the details of all my plans? I don't particularly care about knowing all about their plans. Just the ones that involve me, tbh.
Also as a bi woman with a friend group consisting largely of LGBT people, frankly if I wasn't allowed to be friends with anyone who I ~could~ cheat with theoretically... I'd have like 2 friends lmao.
I agree with you 💯😃
Although truth be told I would use my phone on a date but that’s because I need to stimulate my senses or I go MAD! And you know my boyfriend doesn’t complain
I mean he’s sitting beside me so he knows that I’m reading things.
I’m using my sense of smell and taste with the food on the date, my sense of hearing is going to my boyfriend talking in my sense of sage is reading stuff on my phone. I love to read. So it’s a sensory thing
The worst for me is my married friend has feelings for me I keep saying dude you’re freaking married it’s not gonna happen 🙅 you have kids and a wife if you not happy with your relationship fix your problems not by finding a second choice
웨이터효과라고...남자든 여자든 서비스업 종사자나 다른사람을 예의없이 대하는걸 볼때 만남을 다시 고려할 필요가 있는것 같아요 😂
I absolutely love that Kevin has been a very active guest lately. Keep it up, please!
흠
For me, someone keeps hiding their feelings and lying is red flag. Also because he doesn't want to make me feel bad keep pretending and hiding everything. It was the worst person I ever met. Also later on they usually do big lie and cheated on me.
And marriage, I usually if I think this person is okay to give my forever then I would love to talk about our futures. I will be really happy to talk with.
자기 감정 숨기고 거짓말하는 사람이 최악이에요 저는, 이런 사람들은 항상 괜찮은 척 하면서 거짓말하고하고 하다가 나중엔 거짓말이 불어나더라구요. 바람피기위해 그런 사람들도 있고,,
솔직한 사람이 진짜 좋은 것 같아요.
결혼은 저는 정말 괜찮은 사람이라고 생각하면 그냥 자동으로 말하고 싶어지게 되는 것 같아요. 나와의 미래를 말하는 게 기분 좋을 것 같아요 제가 좋은 사람이라고 생각한다면요!
Being rude to service workers. Any "greater than thou" attitude tbh. Also towards people in need(homeless/poor/addicts) or people with disabilities.
Berating my hobbies. I can understand light hearted ribbing but constantly making fun of things I enjoy doing(that don't hurt anyone) in the name of just joking around is a no-no.
Personal one, being mean to animals lol.
Another is differing views on politics(that would affect my life) and being flippant about it. Just date someone with similar opinions.
The texting the ex one is a 50/50 type thing. If we separated amicably and are friends am okay with talking with them but if we separated for some really bad thing or something else welp thats a 🚩
Yeah that's very true... Like if it was a friendly departure and like occasionally text back and forth like birthday wishes or holiday wishes. Sometimes advice I think it's s pretty alright right?
I think not having friends of all genders is weird. to me that’s a red flag that they don’t trust themselves and can’t impulse control or are too possessive. Like if a guy has no girls who are friends I think that’s really strange like???
One huge red flag for me is when your significant other constantly doesn’t want to try/ constantly shits on the things you like but if you say you don’t want to do or don’t like one thing that they like, they act like it’s the end of the world and that your dumb for not liking it
연인간의 신뢰라는것은 상대방이 좋은것을 해줄때보다 싫어하는것을 하지않을때가 상대방에게 더더욱
신뢰를 쌓는것이 아닌가 하는 생각이 드네요.....^^
Honestly from this chat it seems that you’re both too insecure in your relationships and that’s a huge red flag for me 😬
Yeah that's what i was thinking for a good number of these... the not having friends of opposite gender and the not interacting with an ex whatsoever (even if you two are friendly with no romantic interest? sheesh) are appalling takes
I think it’s very healthy to have friends of both genders who you can meet up with once in awhile and who you feel comfortable around. But I do think that you should be more mindful about not spending tons of one on one time or staying out super late, etc. w a friend of the opposite gender if you’re dating. Just be more mindful and respectful. Be completely honest with your significant other, and introduce them. You could even all hang out together and then there’s an even stronger bond of respect formed.
But if you feel yourself getting feels or anything at all for that “friend” or if there is anything suspect you should take the initiative to step back from it immediately. Nip it in the bud.
I’m friends with my guy friend’s wife. And I became great friends with a guy friend’s girlfriend. It’s all about respect, honesty, and having pure motives.
뭐든 그냥 끼리끼리 만났으면 좋겠다ㅎ
A red flag for me is when the person I'm dating makes me feel bad when I don't reply to texts for a few hours. We are adults with full time jobs I can't be on the phone all of the time 😐 loved the video guys! Would love a part two and also really curious to know what your "green flags" are!
It's not a red flag for me if my partner has friends of the opposite sex. Either I can trust them not to cheat on me with someone else or I would just end the relationship. I wouldn't ever give a second chance if they cheat, but I fully trust them to meet other people without having to worry they might cheat.
This was seriously interesting to watch. It was nice seeing other people's versions of red flags to compare and see different perspectives.
Honestly? If this turned into an actual series? I'd TOTALLY watch every ep.
a guy acting differently with me in front of his friends than he would when he's with me alone !! so many times i've talked to guys who's masculity is so fragile he'd be uncomfortable even HOLDING MY HAND in front of "the guys" because he doesn't wanna seem "soft." its so frustrating and causes a lot of unwanted tension. it's like i'm not even their partner anymore :/
I'm Brazilian and here people have friends of the same gender and opposite as well. I, for example, from my 4 best friends I have 3 are man. And I have this group from college that has about 12 people, and only 3 of us are female. We rarely get to gather everyone cause it's too many people, so last time we went on a group of 5, and only I was the female friend. So for me the red flag is when my boyfriend can't understand that I have a lot of male friends. Or my girlfriend as well, since I'm bi
Omg I can totally relate for the last part, personally my girlfriend made some friends online, and they chat til the point where it’s comfortable for them to meet up in the future, and I’m like super on guard and concerned cause it’s a guy that she hasn’t seen before, and her thinking was that if he’s sus I would not meet him again, but if she feels good abt him, they might even consider meeting for a second time and become friends, not just chatting friends.
Before I receive any rants about me, I do admit I’m q immature in my thinking and overprotective of my partner. Not sure if being in a relationship for the first time is a factor, but there is definitely more for me to learn and improve.
Also I’m q a possessive person and I know it’s bad to question their each and every moves, it makes it feel like I wan to know her each and every move, but I just don’t want her to get mixed up with the wrong person. Also, those what if’s question like “what if she prefers him as a potential partner now that she sees him. I also agree with Dave point of being an ass sometimes. Not gonna lie I do it too.
I wouldn't recommend bottling up emotions like this, it usually leads to a fight or toxicity later. If you're concerned, think about why in particular this situation makes you insecure so you can discuss it openly with your partner after processing. For instance, why do you feel possessive (is it because of your anxieties or her behavior/responses)? Are either of you being defensive, passive aggressive, or aggressive when bringing the topic up/discussing it (is that because of the tone, she doesn't feel trusted, or somethings else)? Why do you think she'll get mixed up with the wrong people (is that something you've observed or is it another reason)? Why do you think she'd prefer him vs you (is something in your relationship wrong, is she displaying behavior that would make you feel that way, are you being gas lit/manipulated to feel that way, or is it personal experiences/fears driving that)? Would you react the same way if this was your sister or best friend or someone else you trust in this same situation (if not, why)? Breaking down the problem into parts can help to see how each individual concern relates to: you, the relationship, her, or the stranger/situation. It then helps clarify what topics you need to bring up such as relationship strains, needing comfort/reassurance, needing to apologize or an apology, genuine concern over the situation's safety, or even abusive behaviors. Also, don't beat yourself up over the possessiveness, it's better to spend time thinking about why you feel that way (could be you, but could be something else in the relationship making you feel that way) and ways to resolve it. You can ask her what her feelings are too. For instance, she might think everything is fine, or she might feel stifled or want something more in the relationship. But, you won't know until you talk about it. Anyway, that's my two cents, feel free to ignore me, but I've found this to generally be the best way of handling relationship troubles, getting myself out of bad relationships, and keeping good ones. Relationships should be about trust, comfort, and communication.
@@be3469 heyy thanks a lot for your help I’ll try it :)
Omg I feel like this could be a podcast, really enjoyed listening to Dave and Kevin's discussion!!! The video ended so quickly omg
I do agree about using the cellphone while being with someone for me it's a red flag, but if my bf had female friends I wouldn't mind, I have male friends and I don't see them as people I would date as a romantic partner. Also, a red flag, jealousy, aggressivity, screaming, and possessive men, or when someone makes a dramatic scene in front of people...just can't deal with high temper people... Eating gum while making noise is super annoying and stressful... I will stop because I would make a long list of red flags
I'm totally the same mindset with Dave. Especially the marriage thing. If the person is willing to talk about marriage, I will feel he is serious and does think and sees me in his future together. It gives me the sense of secure. Instead of someone who avoids talking bout it. Red flag
We should date, Dave ❤️🤭
Please do more videos like this. Id like to know more about the dating cultural differences.
I gotta call you out Dave you said you never thought of Erina like that but I could have SWORN in one of your older videos you said you asked her out, it didn’t work out so you two became friends
As an Aussie I swear so much but being sworn AT is totally different and I hate it.
being friends with an ex is fine though, as long as everyone knows the boundaries that are set
Almost completely agree with everything, just disagree with the red flag about having opposite sex friends, in fact it would be a red flag for me if she doesn't let me keep having my friends just because they're women, it means she doesn't trust me and also it means that she's not confident about herself and our relationship, if she has men friends I don't care at all, I'm confident on our relationship and she decided to be with me and not with someone else so I have nothing to care about...
Part 2 please 😊
난 모든 연애가 결혼이나 먼 미래까지 생각해서 만나야 한다고 생각해서 그게 레드플래그일 줄 상상도 못했네... 그럴거면 연애 왜 하지...??????
오랜만에 왔는데 이 형은 거의 그대로네
Lol ur friend seems like a red flag.
Dates for 3 months and THEN talks about relationship expectations? 👀 why u even dating lol
I really disagree with the having friends is the opposite flag because they could be just friends and sometimes when there's problems, they can get a different perspective on a problem. Also, if a partner is willing to leave you for a "friend", they weren't a good partner.
I HATE mama's boys. And I will never eat with anyone with poor table manners.
if you get home from work you can be exhausted and go to sleep unless you work a easy job
I'm curious of a certain situation.
Idk if it's cultural difference.
In American shows and even real life, if you started dating someone and that person brought you to their family gatherings very early in the relationship, it is seen as a red flag. Bc you just met the person and now you are viewed as a gf or bf to the whole family and they have high expectations of you.
What do Koreans think about that?
손절이란 단어도 별로 안좋아하긴함
oh man that 'not able to spend a few minutes to send a message' triggers the heck outta me ngl...
Not liking cats is a big one for me
Oh my god this is so relatable. I have ex he already married and have baby. But he still stalking on social media and talking to me "it's okay, we are just friends".
Ehmmmmm.... no. We are more than friends. I just opening my new account. Changing my e-mail and stuff like that. Huh... I'm not interesting to become stepmother. I'm sorry.
데이브님..
미국 오랫동안 안가서 잘 모르잖아
🚨 A guy telling you about the girls who confessed him before you... RUN AWAY SIS
I guess would be screwed trying to date in Korea then because 1- most of my friends are of the opposite sex, and 2- I'm also good friends with most of my exes... XD
여자가 손절각볼때: 남자가 베타남일때
1
You don't need to text someone everytime you come back home after partying...... this is why I HATE dating, like leave me alone to do some of MY own things once in awhile, I don't need to tell you everything
lmao as a queer person being friends with your exes is totally normalized in most cases, so i can’t imagine that being someone’s red flag… like most of our friend group has dated each other at some point 😅
Same!
Yup. My ex and i are friends because we were friends before dating... we have no interest in each other anymore in a romantic way, why can't we just talk and hang out without it being a red flag? I dont get it 🤷🏻♀️😅
Coming from a queer girl who *barely * have any guy friends, this is so true 😌
A huge red flag is if your partner tries to separate you from family and friends. Like if they get upset or complain when you spend time with ANYONE when they aren’t with you .
Double red flag if they refuse to have a calm conversation about it.
I have a friend who had a boyfriend like that. He'd control who she was able to see and not see. He wouldn't even allow her to visit me when my university had an open house event on the weekend (we had previously met and basically everyone knew I didn't party hard in college). She didn't see it until he tried stopping her from moving from a city college to a state university which had her moving about 8 hours away. It basically took him trying to prevent her from getting her education for her to see how controlling he was....then she dumped his ass
i must be getting old if all of these reasons sound trivial to me… as long as you trust your partner, none of these are really red flags
Well said. Most of not all of these points come from a place of mistrust and insecurity.
One red flag is definitely when your partner is super possessive and jealous wanting to know where you are and what you're doing 24/7. Behaving like they're scared you're gonna cheat on them with whoever you bump into first lol.
Also on the topic of friends from the opposite sex. I don't think it's a red flag. I wouldn't care tbh. In a relationship you're supposed to trust each other and if you demand your partner not to hang out with certain people, cause they're not from the same sex, then it's a sign they don't trust you at all. "I trust you, but I don't trust him/her" is such a bullshit line. How does not trusting them equal me cheating on you? If you can't trust each other then there's no point.
Precisely. Came to the comments to say exactly this. II know it's not the case for everyone, but I feel like if people are like this, it's just revealing their own insecurities. If they're constantly worried about their partner cheating in some imaginary 'tempting' situation, it's because they feel deep down, they could see themselves cheating in that situation. Probably need to work on their trust issues first and foremost.
Edit: Communication is key. 100%. Be upfront with your partner if you have these feelings. Bottling it up makes you feel like you're all alone.
@@joshyjosh8795 Yess exactly what you're saying! Communication is very important.
@Accel erator Concerns that come from insecurity and being overly controlling is never valid. If you can't trust your partner you should've never been in a relationship in the first place.
Also by that logic, are bisexuals just not supposed to have any friends then? Lmao
@@ActuallyAnanya Right lol
A lot of these red flags just seem to stem off as coming from insecurity and being over controlling.
First of all about the marriage one, why is it even necessary for your partner to know who your exes are? Isn't that literally the no.1 taboo thing you don't talk about? And if you and your ex didn't have a bad break up and both of you were mature about it then I don't see the problem with inviting them to your wedding. The relationship that you once had with that ex was merely a thing of the past and it should stay in the past.
Don't get me started on the opposite sex friends one. So we just have to throw away all our friends of the opposite sex? Why do you feel the need to control who your partner hangs out with? If one of the core fundamentals of a relationship is trust, why are you concerned about your friend's partner? If they break your trust, that's on them and it tells you that they are not worth it and that you deserve better. I really don't get the negative stigma of having friends of the opposite sex while dating in Korea. Kind of sounds immature.
Not a red flag to add but I definitely think all relationships need open communication. You will never know your partner's true feelings and thoughts unless they tell you. Things get messy when people start to keep secrets or make assumptions. Just TALK to your significant other. Work thru whatever is bothering you so there can't be a misunderstanding. If you're uncomfortable with them being friends with an ex, say it. If you want to continue hanging out with a certain friend, let them know there is nothing to worry about. Communication!
in lesbian dating culture, you're probably friends with your girlfriend's ex HAHAHAH totally normal, i don't consider it a red flag at all, just if they are hiding it (because it's so normal in the community, why would you hide it you know?)
Being possessive and jealous all the time , you dont own me , i dont have to tell you everything i do
Y'all gonna have real issues dating Australians if swearing when arguing is a red flag...
Dave your rant about not looking at your phone made me die. I feel like this is me yelling at all my friends hahaha~ I also think it’s a red flag if they can’t emotionally regulate or speak their feelings-passive aggressive is the worst!!
For me, a red flag is when my partner walks away from "difficult" discussions and then blames me for not listening to their problems😑
This ^^^^
You are describing my parents HSHJSKDKS
I find the last one really interesting because for me, it's the opposite. I see it as a red flag if he isn't ok with me having male friends. I've always had both male and female friends and I couldn't imagine telling friends that I couldn't talk to them anymore because my boyfriend didn't like it. Fortunately, all my exes never had a problem with it and they too had female friends, which didn't bother me either. I think something that helps if they have a problem is to have them hang out too. Like the three (or more) of you all get together and they get to know each other.
I think it's a red flag if they're properly trying to plan out a whole ass wedding on the first date, but to ask "What are your thoughts on marriage and kids?" Is a good idea to get out the way when you get to a certain age in the dating game, because for one person it might be an absolute yes to one or both but the other it's an absolute no. If you're not compatible on certain things, it's not fair to either party in the long run.
Kevin is a red flag 🚩😂😂😂
애인의 거슬리는 이성친구는 못생기던 괜찮게 생겼던 단둘이 만나면 다 질투나요ㅋㅋ못생긴 이성친구라도 여기저기 흘리고 다니고 인기많으면 바람 안난다는법 없으니깐요
오늘 두 분 모두 잘생기셨네요!!!! 연애는 때론 어려울 수 있다고 생각해요....ㅠ
one of my friend's exes went to meet a bunch of his female friends at their uni campus for a lil drinking session, got drunk and fell asleep in his female friend's dorm room, and texted her the next morning to say he's otw back home... she broke up w him on that day - as she should lmao
데이브 쫌 흥분했네요 ㅎㅎ
실예를 들어가며 화내니까 보는사람은 재밌네요 바램대로 행복한 가정 빨리 만드세요
Having friends of the opposite gender is perfectly fine but there does need to be respect from all sides. New relationships need to respect old friendships and vice versa. Boundaries are very important.
Oh, and if you sit on your phone on a date with me, you will be very quickly sitting on your own!
Dave got so passionate talking about this topic LOL
Taking notes ✏️
일본 워홀 가서 사귄 일본인 전 남친... 제가 육체 관계 가지는 걸 너무 싫어해서 거부하니까 저를 대하는 태도가 점점 차가워지더니... 전 남친과 저의 공통된 지인에게서 온 연락이 글쎄 전 남친 왈, 저랑 사귀고 있는 상황에서 저는 모르는 여자애한테 육체 관계를 가지자고 강요하고 여자애가 거부하니까 한 술 더 떠서 전 남친, 공통된 지인, 모르는 여자애, 셋이서 같이 육체 관계를 가지자고 연락했다고 하면서 스크린샷을 딱 보여주더군요... 제가 이런 여자 몸만 찾는 놈을 진심으로 사랑했었다니...💢
I cant relate to any of these. I've never had a gf
I remember being at a party once where a couple joined everyone and that girl when drunk was the biggest red flag I've ever seen in my life. She would sit in other men's laps but not her boyfriends lap and he was so used to it that he was numb to it. She interacted with the bf like a roommate and other men she was overly touchy with in front of him. Alcohol or not she was so uncomfortable to be around. A big red flag in men is the kind of guys that does inappropriate jokes to test you to see if you tolerate it or not then brush it off as "just a joke".
I don't usually argue with other people, but I must say this.
To the guys commenting that men and women can be friends.
First of all, I fully respect your opinions.
But why do you call yourself 'mature person' and person who don't agree with you as 'immature person'?
I believe each person may have a different opinion on this issue. It's not about whether someone is mature or not.
If I tell you, like,
'Even if you believe that you can control everything with your consciousness, you can never control your subconscious mind. If you believe you and your friends could be 'that person', You are blinds and idiots who can not think about the working fundamentals of the unconscious at all',
that's just slandering each other, isn't it?
(Again, I would not saying this. I perfectly respect you guys opinion and I think it is definitely ok that you think so.)
And I believe that trust is not given for free, but rather something people build together. Are these thoughts 'immature'? I don't think so.
Depending on a point of view, 'You SHOULD trust me unconditionally even though we didn't build any trust yet' may be more like a childish thing. So it's just a difference of point of view.
I just think everything goes well if you meet someone with the same thoughts and beliefs.
For example, If the relationship with her is so precious to me, I would like to discuss my feelings with her.
But no matter how much I cherish and love her,
if she has tons of male friends, drinks late with them, and crosses lines often,
I'll never try to control her, I'll let her go right away. (In particular, I guess alcohol allows you to cross the line at any time)
I will fully respect her thoughts. We just don't fit together.
But it's better not to talk about who is superior and who is inferior. It's just about 'difference'.
We just have different opinions, and each opinion should be respected. (Whether that's her opinion or mine)
Rather than unilaterally criticize people with different tendencies as 'immature people', I believe it would be better to just respect each other as people with different views.
We all live together, right?
Of course, I know my comments won't have a huge impact on the world we live in, but if anyone thinks for a moment, that's enough.
FYI, I also don't want my girlfriend not to have any relationship with male friends. I just want to be honest about each other's anxiety or feelings from deep inside, and try to keep the line a little bit more with love, and do right things together to keep our relationship and our feelings going well.
I never intend to force my thoughts, and I want to live a happy life with someone who is right for me.
I think I'm not an 'immature person' like you guys would think, I think of myself as a person who can define myself independently and live a healthy life.
If some lady tells me 'Oh! You're a Red Flag', well, I'm perfectly fine because I'm not going out with that lady either.
But if she says, 'OMG! You're immature,' I'd be very against it.
Your first one makes me laugh a bit because my wife and I have issues with that if we travel (being tired is a big thing, especially with kids) and we've been married for a long time. That said, we were really close friends before we even started dating, so it was never a trust thing. The other things are hilariously out of line, like you said. I've known so many people who are obsessed with their ex people in unhealthy ways (often due to those exes being abusive assholes). Cursing isn't the worst as long as it isn't actually calling the other a name/saying they're "XYZ" bad thing/etc. Saying you're really XXXX pissed or whatever is one thing, saying the other person is somethingsomething is a totally different thing.
5:32 now I can´t stop thinking about that scene from Frozen:
-Can I say something crazy, would you marry me?
-Can I say something even crazier? yes
I´ve watched too many cartoons lol
But honestly If the guy is not handsome it´s even worse, there may be feelings involved instead , we´re not safe anywhere
having close friends friends, regardless of gender, is not a red flag. if ur envious or jealous of it, its a trust issue thing, which your partner can respect and u can work through together. however, saying its a red flag is too far.
솔직히 말하면 나한테 가장 심각하고 헤어짐을 끼칠 수도 있는 이유는 내가 연애하는 사람 자꾸 전남친/전여친에대해서 이야기를 하는 건데 “아 그가 이렇게 했어” 아니면 “그와 같이 연애했을 땐…”라고 한번이라도 하면 내가 바로 “아휴 내가 충분하지 않는지??” 생각을하고 그 불안거 있게 되거든요그 관계에서 있으며 기분이 더 이상 좋을 수가 없어 대부분으로
I want part 2 to be the POV of a girl...
2세가 급한 데이브 ㅜㅜ
Actually I also don’t consider a red flag to be talking about the future early with your partner… I think them being unwilling to talk about a potential future with you is a huge red flag. I personally feel that it shows slight commitment issues and deeper relationship fears that would prevent a relationship from growing into its potential.
But of course everyone is different in what they want to consider the “right time” to talk about those type of deep conversations but whats the point of dating if you don’t see a future with that person so I would be hurt if my partner was unwilling to even discuss it.
Actually I agreed with 100% of the red flags Dave presented, except the male friends ones because most of my male friends are my husbands friends too so we are all always together 🙃 so does that even count??
케빈님은 잘생기셔서 여자가 하도 많이 꼬이니까 결혼 얘기꺼내는게 레드플래그라고 생각하실수 있는거같아요~
After watching the tinder swindler, I must say love bombing is a huge red flag.
Also possessive guys are just no no, using the phone while talking is a huge turn off for me as well.
Man or woman that you don't know heart reacts to your SO's profile picture - especially very quickly after posting
집. 착.
아마 나중에 여자들은 빨간불을 무엇인지에 대해 이야기 하면 재미있을 것 같아요.
우리 남자랑 여자랑 자이가 무엇인지 알 수 있어서 그랬어요.
영상을 잘 봤어요 ^^ 데이브가 항상 행복하게 살고 바랍니다 😊
This was interesting. Here's one red flag for you: gaslighting. You did kind of mention it as someone who makes an excuse for something but turns it on the other person. Such as... If someone says, "You know I only do it because I love you," or, "Believe me, this is for the best," when doing something you perceive as abusive, controlling, or wrong, they are probably gaslighting you.
If a guy breaks up because I don't text him in the evening it wouldn't be a big loss for me.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
30 years old men breaks up a partnership because his girlfriend doesn't text him that she is on her way home. Just because she texts you that she is home, doesn't mean that she is alone there. She could bring her toyboy with her and text while she went to the bathroom 🤣🤣🤣
This video is comedy, right??
서로 정한 약속을 잘 존중하는 관계.
my s/o even THINKING about going thru my phone without my permission is a red flag. and even with permission it's a bit weird! why not talk about what's botheering you so much first? it's not like i want to seem like I'm doing something wrong. if we talk i out, i'd probably let them go through my phone anyway if it'll ease their mind! but unlocking y phone behind my back?? hell no.
I used to live in Korea, and I remember that the dating culture had a lot of similar norms to the ones discussed in this video. I didn't really care about gender with regard to friendship, but my ex, who is Korean, was uncomfortable with the idea of my being friends with men. He tried really hard to wrestle with his discomfort because he understood that it's American culture to be respectful of one another's independence. I, in turn, introduced him to my guy friends to help him feel more at ease, because Korean dating culture puts less emphasis on individual independence and puts more emphasis on your shared identity as a couple. We ended up having a long, comfortable relationship, and it ended due to reasons not related to Korean dating culture.
Things that are normal in American dating, such as not texting after going out, are extremely anxiety-inducing in Korea. Certainly, jealousy can be a part of it, but it also comes from a genuine concern for the other's safety; any number of things can happen during a night of drinking, such as injury, getting lost, or being the victim of a violent crime.
Personally, I lean more toward respecting independence and trusting the person who I'm in a relationship with. However, during a multicultural relationship, you have to really keep an open mind and try to understand where your partner is coming from, and you should expect as much from your partner as well. You both end up learning and growing, and chances are, you'll develop a strong relationship. No matter where you're from, good relationships involve equal parts give and take.
wow this brings up a lot for me because as an American and as someone who's grown up seeing those examples around me even on tv of marriages where the wife is depicted as a nag or only hearing the husband complain about their wives I decided I never wanted to be considered a nag and tried to be super easy going or "the cool wife" so to speak who is okay with quite a bit. The only two things that I said upfront in my relationship was if you ever cheated on me or if you ever laid a hand on me in anger that would make me walk away. But I realized now after my marriage failed you can be way too cool about things and let them completely walk all over you. What I should have added to my upfronts in a relationship is also if you don't respect me as now I find that's extremely important in any relationship. It should seem obvious to most I guess but I didn't have any great examples of healthy romantic relationships around me. Also and this is not a joke, if your going to consider marrying someone have them do a full psychological evaluation. I could have saved myself a lot of time and pain if I knew I was dating and married someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It never crossed my mind because I didn't think it was a common disorder by any means and I didn't know there were different types or how insidiously manipulative they could actually be and gaslighting was his go to tool. That first red flag you mentioned of the phone call where they turn it on you and make you feel bad that you don't trust them or you are acting paranoid etc is a good example.
talking about marriage and future for me is a green flag lmao. they're including me in their plans, i like it. now a HUGE red flag is not respecting my personal space
I guess would be f*ked in korea because most of my friends are of the opposite sex, and I'm also friends with a lot of my exes still.... hahahaha
I felt so dumb watching this while remembering all my past is fckn red flag but I never see it while in relationship😂
Erina is crying because she is secretly in love with Dave... just kidding.
I loved this content ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ not sure what else to suggest or comment on but I'd love to hear more :3
i think them talking about their pet peeves would be a fun video
나이가 30대가 되면 만날때부터 결혼이야기 하는 사람도 많더라구요^^ㅋㅋㅋ 아무래도 결혼을 염두하고 만나다보니 미래 가치관이 비슷한지도 알아야하니까요. 제 친구 중에 연애 3개월만에 결혼한 친구가 3명이나 된다는.... 결혼에 가까운 나이가 될 수록 그런 이야기가 빨리 나온답니당. 케빈님은 한국대표라기보다는 개인적인 의견인 것 같아요 ㅋㅋ
this style looks great on you!
That’s a flex if I’ve ever seen one. Get married and invite your ex and they show up. Talk about baller status
8:04 진짜 솔직하다 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ