Pologmy is permissible no doubt about it, but alot of the times the 1st wife is not getting her rights. Sometimes the husband is not providing for her properly, tells her he's broke but is able to marry another wife. Or he doesn't have time for 1 or 2 wives but wants to marry a 3rd.
@@johney3105 dude I meant secret marriages are never happy ending it's like cheating your partner but u marry the person I meant clearly there's a communication problem even if a person can't control his lust what's he supposed to do? Pray to allah and fast just like rasool pbuh said for those who can't even marry first and 99.9% are satisfied with single wife as you can see for yourself from people around
@@johney3105 ye a that's what I meant there should be done good communication between husband and wife women tend to be sensitive they feel they are incomplete or inadequate when their husbands look for another wife it's husbands job to communicate well that time
@@farisa1116 No doubt, secret marriages are not endorsed by Islam. With that clear point stated, polygyny with up to four wives, is made halal by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. You stated "if a person can't control his lust what's he supposed to do? Pray to Allah and fast just like [Rasulullah] (sal Allahu 'alayhi wa salam) said for those who can't even marry first..." The condition was IF a man is unable to marry, then fast. If the man IS able to marry a second, third, fourth wife, to fulfill his desires lawfully, then, the advice of fasting (you incorrectly applied to a man capable of marrying several wives) is not the solution to which a man MUST resort. Fasting was advice given to men INCAPABLE of marrying. A man who is married and has strong sexual desires, with the capability to marry more wives, in a lawful manner, is not a person who MUST fast. Fasting is not a default for every situation. Secondly, what is good enough for the Prophet (sal Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa salam) and his noble companions (may Allah ta'ala be pleased with them) is certainly acceptable for the Muslims.
@@sonny7159 yes but the prophet clearly said if you are unable to provide justice or impartiality to the wives one is better and literally 99% of muslims or non muslims are satisfied with one wife
Polygyny is a Sunnah but so is monogamy! The Prophet Muhammed (saws) was married to Khadija RA for 25 years in a monogamous relationship before he then was polygynous after her death, why is this never mentioned as well?
Because Allah swt. mentioned 2 wives first in the Quran. Marry 2,3,4. So the scholars say that Polygyny is the default. ONLY if they fear that they can't be just, THEN they should just have one wife. But if you can be just then you should have JUST one.
@@abuismail9983 another point is that in most verses Quran mention wife as 'wives' like 'your wives' -Al muminun 6 for example-, never mentioned in singular form. If single wife is prefered it will be mentioned only in singular form
“If you fear you cannot do justice to the orphans, then marry the women (widows with orphans) as you choose two or three, but if you fear you cannot do justice, then only one.” (An-Nisa’ 4:3) It is clear from the above verse that the permission to marry more than one was in the context of widows with children whose fathers had been martyred, so it was a social problem and the practical solution was to provide a home for these children where they will enjoy a fatherly figure as well as their mothers.
In my opinion this would be the first question I would have if I married a Muslim Man. I would ask him if he wants more then one wife and if he says yes then I would make the decision from then if I love him enough and if I do not want that lifestyle I would leave this relationship before my more feelings are involved.
if my husband had a secret wife, and I found out. I can no longer respect him. if he wants a second wife, fine. but then our marriage will change, we will not be building our future together. He will need to support both households financially. That is fine as well.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@Azab.in.Hellfire oxymoron.. Allah is the one who made it permissable. it is the vvomen who is ally of shaytan to protest and rebel against husband taking another wife....
@@Azab.in.Hellfire Fear Allah, are you even sincere ? I saw your comment many times, do you disagree something that Allah made it permissible ? Be carefull May Allah guide us all
I don’t want someone to put me in a position that I’m not equipped for, it’s like throwing someone in the sea and saying swim when they don’t know how to swim. A high value man will know how to build up his woman and communicate his attentions in a beautiful way to lessen the hurt or jealously she may feel, majority of the time the wife feel betrayed and many time Ist marriage is on rocky roads then he takes on a second making a deeper wound. Not only that the husband will start spending less time.
The reason why polyamory is accepted in the west is because women can participate. They see that as fair. And some sisters come from homes where polygamy was practiced and are turned off.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@Azab.in.Hellfire it shouldn't. Women need to realise that Allah didn't allow it so that the man can hurt the woman. Allah allowed the man to have more than one for many reasons. If only women can accept the right Allah has given men, there wouldn't be an issue.
Secret marriages aren't legitimate honestly because one of the conditions for marriage legitimacy; a marriage needs to be announced or sending notion that both are in relationship to people
Believe it or not, I heard one Shaykh (I won’t say who) say that the announcing the nikkah to the two witnesses and the imam fulfills the requirement. When he said it was halaal to tell everyone BUT the first wife, Wallahi, I nearly lost my lunch.
@@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD seems like its just finding a loophole, islam doesnt say explicitly she ought to know, but is that just not logic at the end of the day we have the harm concept in islam, a woman who finds out her husband has remarried secretly is harmed by that psychologically sometimes even physically, my mums friend discovered her husband did this and suffered a heart attack as a result, not too long ago a brother posted on his twitter that someone in his family had found out her husband had remarried, after a short time she died, the doctors decided her cause of death was broken heart syndrome, i didnt even know that was a thing, she can be harmed by sharing a sexual partner the children are all harmed by depriving them of each other, its a cruel and selfish way of getting what you want by misleading your spouse, the second wife also suffers as she will likely be coerced or forced to accept misyar so the husband can cover up his secret marriage, she is treated as though she is a mistress although she is a wife., its sordid all the way around.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
First off I am not against polygyny and agree that there are benefits to individual Muslims as well as the Ummah in this Sunnah BUT why oh why is it always framed as what women should accept? What women should think, do and feel? How sisters should sacrifice etc. Why not speak to the Ikwaan at large about the fact that polygyny is not an absolute right no matter what? They have to be able to provide for these extra families, be responsible and emotionally mature? Sexual desire is just one aspect. I'm sorry but is it really Islamic for a man who is unemployed or making bare minimum wage selling attar or driving an Uber to be marrying multiple sisters and expecting the non believing Government to house and provide benefit income to these women and children??
The brother mentioned that second wives fall into the trap of becoming a secret out of desperation, this is not always the case. Sisters go into polygamy to suit their own life styles and sometimes becoming a secret actually facilitates getting to know the man before he tells the first. Also when a sister is invested into the relationship may feel that getting married will ward off haram in one sense as inappropriate behaviour can seep in when the two are conversing for too long, so there is a fine balance with doing what is halal at the time versus addressing telling the first wife and delaying it until the two get to know each other and establish a stonger bond. Either way knowledge on polygamy needs to be more open and accesible to avoid these issues
But polygamy is usually seen negatively because the world and Christianity think monogamy is the best because they think polygamy is about sexual desires
@@farisa1116 Clearly this is a very basic mindset. We all know the idea of 'monogamy' perceived by these groups of people is not a reality. Affairs are rampant in society leaving many women's rights unmet. With Islam the concept of monagamy in pologyny is actually being practiced as the man spends time with each wife separately from the other, so it is uniquely monogamous. Secondly Allah has allowed men up to 4 wives due to his nature. Even if he doesn't take on another wife he will always desire more, not necessarily for sexual gratification. This is not only what Christianity denies but Muslims too, unfortunately
@@ummluqman4620 I can't agree with the desire more most men whether muslim or not are happy with single wives almost everyone ik has a single wife they only have a second wife because of reproductive issues
I told my wife before I did it. Although all those years she was for it. When I told her she declared war on me amd took my kids away even before I did it.
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal You're either immature (and never had kids yourself), or socially mal-adjusted. A man, with any kind of intact heart, will always care for his kids until the day that he dies. It's not simply "oh well." Not for a real man.
People forget that the pre islamic arabs used to have alot of women without marriage even. Allah doesnt force anyone to live polygamous and it is not a right to have 4 wives it is a burden I would say. Because it wont be easy. Quran is saying you can marry 1.2.3 etc but you have to be fair and in my understanding it was to support orphans and Windows. Many people over look ayat 4.129. It is hard to be just if you have more than one wife thats why the men should be content with one wife instead of being greedy.
After seeing men watch travel vlogs and street food vlogs, what would happen to women? They want men to have strong values not preoccupied with trivialities. A man says he pays his employees very well. Another man says he has banned his male employees from wearing earrings and putting tattoos so that his premises look respectable. Which of these women will admire? After seeing women smoke, what will happen to men?
a comment like "the 1st wife are not above the other wife, BUT...." what is mean by that? so deep down the line this understanding exists the first is higher or upper than the other wife? is expected that the 1 st wife being put on a pedestal? just because you are the first wife doesn't mean the other wife is behind you or lower. justice between the wifes is not called disrespect....
If you can't do justice it's better to have only one and 99% of all men muslim non muslim have 1 wife there should be strong communication between husbands and wivee
@@NavyLady82 Not all the time, you can do tadlees as opposed to straight lying. But the question still remains, who proceeded this brother in his speach?
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran... And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran... Allah said Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Surat An-Nahl 16:90 And Allah says O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do. Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8 “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196) A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to. It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it. No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter. By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Yes , and if polgny happens is because it is the will of Allah it is written for whatever reason Allah knows best so don't hide let it be known the moment they want to go into it , communicate to their wife about it.Give her a chance to adjust to it all, and really work with her with a good Patience and love.
Gabriel did not give examples of red flags for sisters that a reverts. I would like to hear Gabriel wives to speak up...wonder if he picked women that are vulnerable for polygamy? It's very clear Ahmed and his wife answering more directly to questions and giving examples more.
Sorry to hear that brother. Women are never happy no matter what choice We make. Their difficulty and jealousy just gets the best of them. May Allah awj guide them to want for their sister what they want for themselves
@Ceiling Fan men are naturally polygonic, one is not enough for their desire that's why they are allowed to have more than one wife, Allah knows his creation. Some will seek halaal way others will commit zina ( adultry) behind the back of their wifes. How many married men have secret mistress today and claimimg his wife is enough for him ?!!. The only thing that limits them from 2nd marriage is lack of finance or afraid of destorying first family ( specially when children are invlolved and the first wife demands divorce) otherwise almost every married man wants 2nd wife and the guy who says opposite is lying or his libido is low ( he needs to see a doctor). Islam is practical religion and no hypocricy in it, I would prefer my sisters to be 2nd wifes rather than public properties.
@@ammarahsajid2457 Men and women are not the same. I dont know why women make these comparisons. We have different rights and responsibilities. This is like saying how would women feel if they have to be the one that has to protect the man if a criminal breaks into the house. That woman has no Islamic right to take the kids away like that where the father cannot see the kids.
@@ammarahsajid2457 men and women are made differently. it is fact stated by Allah. if you want to disobey and commit adultery then hellfire is your abode.
The fundaments, the basis is destroyed that the problem. The problem is that our Ummah is not that practicing. Our ummah is nearly non existent. We will have to go through this time. What we can do is educate, and the practicing muslims need to become more and raise their children as practicing and introdruce those sunnan to them to carry it to the next generation, hoping that one time in the future the situation will be better.... We dont have a short term solution. We will have to experience the problems for now. Problems will continue. We cannot stop them. What we can do is: Those who do have knowledge should carry it. Men and women need to marry and finally accept doing those sunnan, if they dont do it, at least teach it to be like a Norm. I know this might be hard for the sisters, but also the brothers for whom it is also not easy to have one wife or more.... you need to have taqwa, for the sake of Allah ﷻ, do it ... For the future, for the next generation. A little bit suffering for your offspring.
Uk is far better , i have a group of young people at the mosque right now 8 young teenagers good brothers Travelling from the uk by themselves Subhanallah
So from what I understand, the man’s fitrah is polygamous hence why Allah SWT has allowed a man to marry multiple wives up to 4. However, since most first wives deny this right, or make it difficult, some men choose to go for a secret marriage which may be questionable islamically but some ulema have agreed it’s halaal. So to save himself from haraam, this man will enter into a misyar marriage. Makes sense.
But secret marriages are like a secret partner like 'cheating' once it's found out it can destroy a relationship whether you're muslim or not plus most men are satisfied with single wives
@@farisa1116 most men are not satisfied with single wives hence why Allah SWT allows marrying up to 4, and I can tell you that if most men were rich, they would have multiple wives.
@@yourfamilydoctor172 that's not a problem people associate polygamy with lust Also there's no way secret marriages can have a good ending once found out it's literally the equivalent to cheating
@@farisa1116 Allah SWT allows marrying up to 4 wives even if it is purely for desire / lust. Even monogamous relationships are based on desire and lust, who would want to get married to someone who did not have a desire for them? Get my point? Also re: secret marriages, what choice do most women leave their men who want to pursue things according to the sunnah when marrying a second wife, but the first wife threatens divorce, taking children away etc, what then? Should the man continue with haraam avenues such as watching pornography or having an affair?
@@yourfamilydoctor172 the man should control his desire too secret marriage is literally the equivalent to cheating but you married the person no way it can have a happy ending once found out ? You should talk to your wife if she threatens divorce why do you think people cheat a lot in the west? Because COMMUNICATION IS KEY
@@Jay-bc7kh whatever people pick their own Struggle.. Like why marry someone when you know she won’t be ok with you wanting another wife? Some are ok with it.. pick them instead of making someone life miserable
I love brother Tox and may Allah ﷻ bless you and your family, 😂😂 but sometimes you talked too much and interrupted Ustadh Gabriel, May Allah ﷻ forgive you 😂😂 May Allah ﷻ forgive all of us Ameen
I like brother ahmed he seems lovely mashallah, but less of thinking of your husband as a possession we do need companionship pologamy means a woman we likely be lonely a lot of the time especially when her children if she has any have flown the nest
Who said you this that we can love women in the same level?? I am a guy and don't spread false statements on behalf of all other guys please. Can we say women also can love at the same level?? If you disagree bring me scientific data supporting your claim. Scholars have even told how equal love is not that achievable and how this is beyond one's control
@@programferris1018 Of course this is beyond ones control... Moreover a man can marry 4 wives while women cannot, that is the proof that a woman cannot love many men at the same time , while a man can, he can live women at the same time, wether equally, or one more one less, that is beyond one control
@@aymanus04 your explanation is weak as the reason why a women cannot marry more than one could have several reasons relating to like for instance pregnancy, disease transfer, child nursing etc. In a fantasy world where a woman doesn't have menstruating issues, pregnancy issues, no fear of disease transfer etc she won't have an issue with mutiple male partners. Dr Zakir naik in his explanation on why men can marry more than one stated several of these reasons. Even an article discussing about evolutional biology talked about how difficult it is for a woman getting many partners as tell me how she going to fulfill pregnancy obligations, child nurturing etc with these many husbands?? Your argument can even be refuted by showing girls dating multiple guy at the same time and loving one partner more than the other though dating is haram but I am talking about your argument that says they cannot love more than one.
@@aymanus04 nothing to sorry about brother, I apologize for being harsh. Your argument does hold true to some extent but if you analyze the issues more you will understand how it would have been EXTREMELY difficult to handle multiple husbands by a woman. Therfore Allah in his infinite wisdom didn't allow this. Alhamdulillah ❤️
Allahu alam, but I think it’s the niyah. Allah swt has revealed a few things for me recently Alhamdullilah, when people are faced with retrials it reveals their true disposition subhanAllah. Some brothers are doing it for their own benefit but condoning by saying it’s to ‘aid the Ummah’. When push comes to shove the only thing their aiding is their own ideal. Long and short: we’re not following the sunnah. The mindset, the actions, the understanding of our responsibilities, emotional intelligence but more importantly what we’re going to say to Allah swt on yawm al Qiyamah. We need to address how we see the Dunya collectively InshaAllah. Speaking from experience: please always keep Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى at the centre of everything you do and don’t *lie to yourself!!!* - Bi’ithniAllah. Well only be of the losers in the end. Nauthu Billah السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ
Saying "Men are Polygamous by Nature" is against Islam..? Why do almost all Scholars claim that men are polygamous by nature with no Islamic claim? This makes men think it's okay to open doors and feel for multiple women, when in the west, where everyone is treated "equally" women are equally polygamous, cheating on their husbands, for "fun" not for "love or emotional" reasons as many put it. This means that both sexes are vulnerable in the same way. I think the society allows men to behave this way or think this way, because it's a male dominated world, and they supressed women since the beginning of time, when in the end, both men and women are the same, committing the same sins. However, the world makes it okay for men to be this way, claiming its their nature. Ever wonder why Muslim parents will abandon their daughters forever if they caught them speaking to a guy but will not do anything if their son goes out and sleeps around with women? Why is that? In the Shariah, both is a sin, both are haram! True women may be of more fitnah towards men, because women have more awrah to cover, yet they fail to, but most men are naturally in hijab, hence the reason for lesser fitnah for women. The Polygamy allowed also speaks about helping widows or orphans, anyone who can clearly study the Quran can understand that. The Sahabah and Prophets mostly married older women who had children from other men who had died. If men want to follow the example of the Prophet, they should follow it in the way he practiced it. Wars were common, many women were left without homes or men to take care of them. Had Allah disapproved, we would suffer social issues. There are many many many men who are happy with one wife, who dare not think about other women. Even having a thought of a non-mahram while married is a huge sin, how can one approach the thought of Polygamy knowing this is wrong? We see here the clear reasons for Polygamy. Some claim their wife is too fat or too old so they want to get another wife? It's because women are too busy with children they don't have time to even think of getting another man. Though the arab world makes it look like women have no physical desires or feelings. The fact that society has suppressed this, is proof why they claim "Men are Polygamous by nature" I would like to see any type of proof from Islam that this is true? Men were more free to do whatever they pleased, this is the real reason, before Islam and after Islam. It's not a religious view, its a social view. We Muslims are taught to follow the Quran and refer to sunnah and hadeeth, if men want to remarry, then why dont they read the verse on polygamy and refer to the sunnah and hadeeth? There are clear hadeeths that our Prophet pbuh the sahabah remarried older women to help them and be noble men for the sake of allah subhanwaltala, not for sexual reasons as Scholars put it these days. Also when Hazrat Ali wanted to take a second wife for the reasons I put above, it made Hzt Fatima upset and Prophet pbuh forbade Hazrat Ali remarrying a second wife. So if anyone can show a claim from ISLAM that men are polygamous, I would like to see. Please don't bring sciencists' claims into this, because even they claim things that go against Islam.
Don't force it, if he wants it that bad, inshaAllah let him make dua for it. Until then, don't force anything that isn't there. Just some food for thought
@@JahannamHellfire Brother, it's much simpler than all this (thank you for the education). Be open with your wife, tell her you want a 2nd wife and then get on with it. It's your right under Islam,..there is no discussion necessary.
@@SativaSeanLasVegas No its not a right to oppress women in Islam! Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@SativaSeanLasVegas Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran... And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran... Allah said Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. Surat An-Nahl 16:90 And Allah says O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do. Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8 “A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196) A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to. It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it. No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter. By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
I dont believe secret marriage very good in our time, but i dont see it to be haram. Ibn Batuta travelled the World and married from maledives without his first wife knowing, how would he even tell her?
Yes but that was different secret marriages are exactly like non muslims cheating one another the only thing different is marriage you should talk to your wife b4 marriage because it's her right to know as well
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal brother use your logic if your woman was with a different man in secret do you think it'll have a happy ending there's a reason 99% of men have only one wife both men and women have lust I agree men have more but allah swt never said to leave lust as it is otherwise zina would be common like how it is lol please read what I'm tryna say secret marriages is called secret because once found it's a bad ending for both by common sense There's a communication gap that needs to be filled by husband and wife allah swt ask to live honourably the husband and wife should have strong communication
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal women have to obey husband not hitler plus women have feelings of lust too not as great as men it's husbands duty to communicate with wife properly if he wants a second wife and he must provide equal treatment so there's no dispute and if he cannot one is better prophet pbuh said this how cone you don't know? That's why 99.9% muslims have 1 wife and only rich Arabs mostly have more than 1 again Please read the full comment before replying again don't act like a troll pls
what is difference to be muslim and dont tell about second. its same with just sex on the side. Women she is also Allah daughter to treat good not like meat. if you so afraid from your wife dont think about it better clean your wife shoes abd be her slave all your life. Poligami its for high level mans like our prophet and best mans.
In all cultures the women are treated the same. Only the details and manner is different. I am grateful not being born one. The problem is "Women get pregnant" Nature is cruel. The urge is so strong. The Peacock gives that lovely dance to get a mate. All animals are same.
polyamory being advertised but truth is the guy isnt married to all the partners...so they dont risk going to jail. Polygamy is not legal in the west..no legal protections, no inheritance, no medical support...rights are not given. Men dont fill 1st womens rights but ask for 2nd wife.
. The level of confusion. I respect whatever we chose as individuals,but this sounds really heavy. It sounds like a lot of stuffing down emotions, dishonesty and my heart is heavy listening and watching. I’m sure for those who choose this they see other benefits. It’s just hard to find them looking from the outside. Peace and Prayers to all.
I don't fear my wife but i have a 2nd wife(just secret to her). Don't want the hustle of my kids not talking to me and giving headache. Im in another country and cant deal with it over the phone
So secret to her, her family, your kids- and you’re asking everyone else to lie? She is going to be so hurt when she finds out and you’re kids will probably hate you. Be honest.
Do you financially support both wives? I don’t understand this what if the first wife needs u physically but if u are content you will not feel the urge to go to ur first wife and she will feel unloved.
How can it b love or mercy if there r 2 wives? Its completely contradictory. IRL it only works if one of them isn’t really bothered about that stuff anyone. Can u imagine how jealous a man wld b in tht scenario? Why wld u think it wld b any different for an XX?
![Chris Langan - The Interview THEY Didn't Want You To See - CTMU [Full Version; Timestamps]](/img/n.gif)
Pologmy is permissible no doubt about it, but alot of the times the 1st wife is not getting her rights. Sometimes the husband is not providing for her properly, tells her he's broke but is able to marry another wife. Or he doesn't have time for 1 or 2 wives but wants to marry a 3rd.
Don't you think most of the time polygamy is done for lust?
@@johney3105 dude I meant secret marriages are never happy ending it's like cheating your partner but u marry the person I meant clearly there's a communication problem even if a person can't control his lust what's he supposed to do? Pray to allah and fast just like rasool pbuh said for those who can't even marry first and 99.9% are satisfied with single wife as you can see for yourself from people around
@@johney3105 ye a that's what I meant there should be done good communication between husband and wife women tend to be sensitive they feel they are incomplete or inadequate when their husbands look for another wife it's husbands job to communicate well that time
@@farisa1116 No doubt, secret marriages are not endorsed by Islam.
With that clear point stated, polygyny with up to four wives, is made halal by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
You stated "if a person can't control his lust what's he supposed to do? Pray to Allah and fast just like [Rasulullah] (sal Allahu 'alayhi wa salam) said for those who can't even marry first..."
The condition was IF a man is unable to marry, then fast.
If the man IS able to marry a second, third, fourth wife, to fulfill his desires lawfully, then, the advice of fasting (you incorrectly applied to a man capable of marrying several wives) is not the solution to which a man MUST resort.
Fasting was advice given to men INCAPABLE of marrying.
A man who is married and has strong sexual desires, with the capability to marry more wives, in a lawful manner, is not a person who MUST fast. Fasting is not a default for every situation.
Secondly, what is good enough for the Prophet (sal Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa salam) and his noble companions (may Allah ta'ala be pleased with them) is certainly acceptable for the Muslims.
@@sonny7159 yes but the prophet clearly said if you are unable to provide justice or impartiality to the wives one is better and literally 99% of muslims or non muslims are satisfied with one wife
Polygyny is a Sunnah but so is monogamy! The Prophet Muhammed (saws) was married to Khadija RA for 25 years in a monogamous relationship before he then was polygynous after her death, why is this never mentioned as well?
Because Allah swt. mentioned 2 wives first in the Quran. Marry 2,3,4. So the scholars say that Polygyny is the default. ONLY if they fear that they can't be just, THEN they should just have one wife. But if you can be just then you should have JUST one.
@@abuismail9983 another point is that in most verses Quran mention wife as 'wives' like 'your wives' -Al muminun 6 for example-, never mentioned in singular form. If single wife is prefered it will be mentioned only in singular form
Polygamy is permissible but it is not sunnah so be careful when you are making false statements.
“If you fear you cannot do justice to the orphans, then marry the women (widows with orphans) as you choose two or three, but if you fear you cannot do justice, then only one.” (An-Nisa’ 4:3)
It is clear from the above verse that the permission to marry more than one was in the context of widows with children whose fathers had been martyred, so it was a social problem and the practical solution was to provide a home for these children where they will enjoy a fatherly figure as well as their mothers.
@@redemissarium The Quran is talking to ALL the Muslim men (plural) so of course it would refer to all of their wives in the plural , Duh!
In my opinion this would be the first question I would have if I married a Muslim Man. I would ask him if he wants more then one wife and if he says yes then I would make the decision from then if I love him enough and if I do not want that lifestyle I would leave this relationship before my more feelings are involved.
Love starts after nikah,not before
Gyal can demand arm and a leg Dowry coz Islam says so yet can't accept Polygamy lol
It has to be in your contract. They say no then later change their mind
@@Zazezoo Exactly..
They don't care you leave or not they got what they want
if my husband had a secret wife, and I found out. I can no longer respect him.
if he wants a second wife, fine. but then our marriage will change, we will not be building our future together.
He will need to support both households financially. That is fine as well.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@Azab.in.Hellfire oxymoron.. Allah is the one who made it permissable. it is the vvomen who is ally of shaytan to protest and rebel against husband taking another wife....
@@Azab.in.Hellfire is the prophets and sahaba narcissist....
@@Azab.in.Hellfire Fear Allah, are you even sincere ? I saw your comment many times, do you disagree something that Allah made it permissible ? Be carefull
May Allah guide us all
Al nisa 129..You are NEVER able to be fair & just as between women even if it is your ardent desire..This should be drilled into the men.
I don’t want someone to put me in a position that I’m not equipped for, it’s like throwing someone in the sea and saying swim when they don’t know how to swim. A high value man will know how to build up his woman and communicate his attentions in a beautiful way to lessen the hurt or jealously she may feel, majority of the time the wife feel betrayed and many time Ist marriage is on rocky roads then he takes on a second making a deeper wound. Not only that the husband will start spending less time.
Dont use redpill teriminology
Keep to Quran and Sunnah terms
Other than agreed, the man needs to do justice to his wives or marry only 1
100%
It’s permissible if you can do justice between them both and if you know you can’t treat them both fairly then you can’t marry two
what is justice ? do explain....
Let almighty judge fairness first wife has no business
@@DarkAngel-rh1djAllah set out the rights of a Muslim wife, so if you cannot give her rights then you should not marry more than one.
@@MohammedAli-in7eo And what is justice for you?
The reason why polyamory is accepted in the west is because women can participate. They see that as fair. And some sisters come from homes where polygamy was practiced and are turned off.
Secret marriages is when the wife doesn't know but everyone else knows that he is married... The poor woman looks like a fool..
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Its evil to do that to someone!. SubhanAllaah... they oppress Muslim women but they live their own mothers and sisters!!!
@@Azab.in.Hellfire it shouldn't. Women need to realise that Allah didn't allow it so that the man can hurt the woman. Allah allowed the man to have more than one for many reasons. If only women can accept the right Allah has given men, there wouldn't be an issue.
@@Azab.in.Hellfire furthermore, does that mean the prophet was narcissistic?
@@JahannamHellfire looool.... "Oppression"
Secret marriages aren't legitimate honestly because one of the conditions for marriage legitimacy; a marriage needs to be announced or sending notion that both are in relationship to people
Believe it or not, I heard one Shaykh (I won’t say who) say that the announcing the nikkah to the two witnesses and the imam fulfills the requirement. When he said it was halaal to tell everyone BUT the first wife, Wallahi, I nearly lost my lunch.
@@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD These are the so called ulama that destroy Islam.
@@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD seems like its just finding a loophole, islam doesnt say explicitly she ought to know, but is that just not logic
at the end of the day we have the harm concept in islam, a woman who finds out her husband has remarried secretly is harmed by that psychologically sometimes even physically, my mums friend discovered her husband did this and suffered a heart attack as a result, not too long ago a brother posted on his twitter that someone in his family had found out her husband had remarried, after a short time she died, the doctors decided her cause of death was broken heart syndrome, i didnt even know that was a thing, she can be harmed by sharing a sexual partner the children are all harmed by depriving them of each other, its a cruel and selfish way of getting what you want by misleading your spouse, the second wife also suffers as she will likely be coerced or forced to accept misyar so the husband can cover up his secret marriage, she is treated as though she is a mistress although she is a wife., its sordid all the way around.
As a revert am happy about this topic and my country being spoken about Uganda its true l loved the topic thank brothers and sisters for the speech
I respect brother Ahmed, he has the right mindset on polygany, he gave the best advice.
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@Azab.in.Hellfireget a life! But Islam’s fault your hubby is a cheat 😮
First off I am not against polygyny and agree that there are benefits to individual Muslims as well as the Ummah in this Sunnah BUT why oh why is it always framed as what women should accept? What women should think, do and feel? How sisters should sacrifice etc. Why not speak to the Ikwaan at large about the fact that polygyny is not an absolute right no matter what? They have to be able to provide for these extra families, be responsible and emotionally mature? Sexual desire is just one aspect. I'm sorry but is it really Islamic for a man who is unemployed or making bare minimum wage selling attar or driving an Uber to be marrying multiple sisters and expecting the non believing Government to house and provide benefit income to these women and children??
Most polygamists in the U.K. are broke 😅
I learned alot this evening , may allah gives us barakah ❤
The brother mentioned that second wives fall into the trap of becoming a secret out of desperation, this is not always the case. Sisters go into polygamy to suit their own life styles and sometimes becoming a secret actually facilitates getting to know the man before he tells the first. Also when a sister is invested into the relationship may feel that getting married will ward off haram in one sense as inappropriate behaviour can seep in when the two are conversing for too long, so there is a fine balance with doing what is halal at the time versus addressing telling the first wife and delaying it until the two get to know each other and establish a stonger bond. Either way knowledge on polygamy needs to be more open and accesible to avoid these issues
But polygamy is usually seen negatively because the world and Christianity think monogamy is the best because they think polygamy is about sexual desires
@@farisa1116 Clearly this is a very basic mindset. We all know the idea of 'monogamy' perceived by these groups of people is not a reality. Affairs are rampant in society leaving many women's rights unmet. With Islam the concept of monagamy in pologyny is actually being practiced as the man spends time with each wife separately from the other, so it is uniquely monogamous. Secondly Allah has allowed men up to 4 wives due to his nature. Even if he doesn't take on another wife he will always desire more, not necessarily for sexual gratification. This is not only what Christianity denies but Muslims too, unfortunately
@@ummluqman4620 I can't agree with the desire more most men whether muslim or not are happy with single wives almost everyone ik has a single wife they only have a second wife because of reproductive issues
@@farisa1116 this knowledge that you disagree with is from Allah not an opinion
@@ummluqman4620 allah swt never said that men and women should not control their desires
May Allah SWT bless you Aisha and Aminah.. I love you so much for the sake of Allah Almighty 😊
Brother Tox right
No concept of secret marriages
Polygamy is permissible with certain conditions prescribed by Allah
I told my wife before I did it. Although all those years she was for it. When I told her she declared war on me amd took my kids away even before I did it.
la hawla wa la quwatu billah,
@Wiznsjs Didnejs it is his right.
@Wiznsjs Didnejs it's his right
@@shadowstorm5261 yea secret marriages can never work it's exactly like secret partners when they cheat their partner
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal You're either immature (and never had kids yourself), or socially mal-adjusted.
A man, with any kind of intact heart, will always care for his kids until the day that he dies.
It's not simply "oh well." Not for a real man.
People forget that the pre islamic arabs used to have alot of women without marriage even. Allah doesnt force anyone to live polygamous and it is not a right to have 4
wives it is a burden I would say. Because it wont be easy. Quran is saying you can marry 1.2.3 etc but you have to be fair and in my understanding it was to support orphans and Windows. Many people over look ayat 4.129. It is hard to be just if you have more than one wife thats why the men should be content with one wife instead of being greedy.
I absolutely love your comment . It reminds me of the video "find out why polygyny is not a sunnah" by ustadh Abdrurrahman Hasan
I’m so glad the brother brought up the issue of inheritance! SubhanAllah I mentioned this before in a video- does anyone not think of that?
After seeing men watch travel vlogs and street food vlogs, what would happen to women? They want men to have strong values not preoccupied with trivialities.
A man says he pays his employees very well. Another man says he has banned his male employees from wearing earrings and putting tattoos so that his premises look respectable. Which of these women will admire?
After seeing women smoke, what will happen to men?
Wife only gets 1/8th anyways
@@MessiWorldCup-th2de 1/8th of a wealthy healthy inheritance….
a comment like "the 1st wife are not above the other wife, BUT...." what is mean by that? so deep down the line this understanding exists the first is higher or upper than the other wife? is expected that the 1 st wife being put on a pedestal?
just because you are the first wife doesn't mean the other wife is behind you or lower.
justice between the wifes is not called disrespect....
If you can't do justice it's better to have only one and 99% of all men muslim non muslim have 1 wife there should be strong communication between husbands and wivee
Hang on a min... One of the brothers on here himself is involved in secret marriages so why is he even allowed to speak!!?
Out of curiosity, who from the scholars of ahl sunnah say that it's haram to marry a second women as a "secret marriage"?
If its a secret that means lies are being told.
@@NavyLady82 Not all the time, you can do tadlees as opposed to straight lying. But the question still remains, who proceeded this brother in his speach?
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
@@taweezareharam just waiting for the scholars who have proceeded you in this speach...
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
No fear of Allah . Using religion however they please
Yes , and if polgny happens is because it is the will of Allah it is written for whatever reason Allah knows best so don't hide let it
be known the moment they want to go into it , communicate to their wife about it.Give her a chance to adjust to it all, and really work with her with a good Patience and love.
Gabriel did not give examples of red flags for sisters that a reverts. I would like to hear Gabriel wives to speak up...wonder if he picked women that are vulnerable for polygamy?
It's very clear Ahmed and his wife answering more directly to questions and giving examples more.
Just Came From Da Gabriel Al Roomani.
That my Guy Bro…
What Roomani has 3 Wives. Allahuma Barik❤️🤝🏹⚔️💰💰💰🕌
1:31:00 to the End..
Facts!!
Lost M…
@@Ibrahim-bl3uf where did he say he has 3 wives😂😂
@@yasinosman9411 Bro you have to watch the Whole Video. I Forgot, Akh…
I buy My wife roses, cook for her, clean for her yet she had no problems fighting me and taking my kids away when I said I want to take a second wife
Sorry to hear that brother. Women are never happy no matter what choice We make. Their difficulty and jealousy just gets the best of them. May Allah awj guide them to want for their sister what they want for themselves
@Ceiling Fan men are naturally polygonic, one is not enough for their desire that's why they are allowed to have more than one wife, Allah knows his creation. Some will seek halaal way others will commit zina ( adultry) behind the back of their wifes. How many married men have secret mistress today and claimimg his wife is enough for him ?!!.
The only thing that limits them from 2nd marriage is lack of finance or afraid of destorying first family ( specially when children are invlolved and the first wife demands divorce) otherwise almost every married man wants 2nd wife and the guy who says opposite is lying or his libido is low ( he needs to see a doctor).
Islam is practical religion and no hypocricy in it, I would prefer my sisters to be 2nd wifes rather than public properties.
Lol how would you feel if she said she wanted to marry someone else. When it comes to feelings, men and women aren't really that different
@@ammarahsajid2457 Men and women are not the same. I dont know why women make these comparisons. We have different rights and responsibilities. This is like saying how would women feel if they have to be the one that has to protect the man if a criminal breaks into the house. That woman has no Islamic right to take the kids away like that where the father cannot see the kids.
@@ammarahsajid2457 men and women are made differently. it is fact stated by Allah. if you want to disobey and commit adultery then hellfire is your abode.
The fundaments, the basis is destroyed that the problem.
The problem is that our Ummah is not that practicing.
Our ummah is nearly non existent.
We will have to go through this time.
What we can do is educate, and the practicing muslims need to become more and raise their children as practicing and introdruce those sunnan to them to carry it to the next generation, hoping that one time in the future the situation will be better....
We dont have a short term solution.
We will have to experience the problems for now. Problems will continue. We cannot stop them.
What we can do is: Those who do have knowledge should carry it. Men and women need to marry and finally accept doing those sunnan, if they dont do it, at least teach it to be like a Norm.
I know this might be hard for the sisters, but also the brothers for whom it is also not easy to have one wife or more.... you need to have taqwa, for the sake of Allah ﷻ, do it ...
For the future, for the next generation.
A little bit suffering for your offspring.
I wonder how many of you took care of orphanes ? Or perhaps you do not know the verse from the top?
Not fard
Uk is far better , i have a group of young people at the mosque right now
8 young teenagers good brothers
Travelling from the uk by themselves
Subhanallah
So from what I understand, the man’s fitrah is polygamous hence why Allah SWT has allowed a man to marry multiple wives up to 4. However, since most first wives deny this right, or make it difficult, some men choose to go for a secret marriage which may be questionable islamically but some ulema have agreed it’s halaal. So to save himself from haraam, this man will enter into a misyar marriage. Makes sense.
But secret marriages are like a secret partner like 'cheating' once it's found out it can destroy a relationship whether you're muslim or not plus most men are satisfied with single wives
@@farisa1116 most men are not satisfied with single wives hence why Allah SWT allows marrying up to 4, and I can tell you that if most men were rich, they would have multiple wives.
@@yourfamilydoctor172 that's not a problem people associate polygamy with lust
Also there's no way secret marriages can have a good ending once found out it's literally the equivalent to cheating
@@farisa1116 Allah SWT allows marrying up to 4 wives even if it is purely for desire / lust. Even monogamous relationships are based on desire and lust, who would want to get married to someone who did not have a desire for them? Get my point?
Also re: secret marriages, what choice do most women leave their men who want to pursue things according to the sunnah when marrying a second wife, but the first wife threatens divorce, taking children away etc, what then? Should the man continue with haraam avenues such as watching pornography or having an affair?
@@yourfamilydoctor172 the man should control his desire too secret marriage is literally the equivalent to cheating but you married the person no way it can have a happy ending once found out ? You should talk to your wife if she threatens divorce why do you think people cheat a lot in the west? Because COMMUNICATION IS KEY
isn't a marriage to make it known ?! How can they secretly marry ??!?
What about the wali ?! Secret marry ??
A. Man does not need a wali
@@BlacFireSan but WOMAN !
@@IM-3000some brothers marry sisters who don't know their rights as a muslim wife (i.e new reverts)
@@ummukatheer247 they abuse our religion
If she don’t want u to get another wife and u know you’ll want another wife don’t marry her
The woman doesn't get to decide. Period.
@@Jay-bc7kh whatever people pick their own Struggle.. Like why marry someone when you know she won’t be ok with you wanting another wife? Some are ok with it.. pick them instead of making someone life miserable
Exactly it's common sense go with someone who wants that lifestyle instead of forcing it down someone else's throat
I love brother Tox and may Allah ﷻ bless you and your family, 😂😂 but sometimes you talked too much and interrupted Ustadh Gabriel, May Allah ﷻ forgive you
😂😂
May Allah ﷻ forgive all of us
Ameen
😂😂🤭
I like brother ahmed he seems lovely mashallah, but less of thinking of your husband as a possession we do need companionship pologamy means a woman we likely be lonely a lot of the time especially when her children if she has any have flown the nest
SubhanaAllah, women simply wont understand men,
Yes, men can love more then one woman
Who said you this that we can love women in the same level?? I am a guy and don't spread false statements on behalf of all other guys please. Can we say women also can love at the same level?? If you disagree bring me scientific data supporting your claim. Scholars have even told how equal love is not that achievable and how this is beyond one's control
@@programferris1018 Of course this is beyond ones control... Moreover a man can marry 4 wives while women cannot, that is the proof that a woman cannot love many men at the same time , while a man can, he can live women at the same time, wether equally, or one more one less, that is beyond one control
@@aymanus04 your explanation is weak as the reason why a women cannot marry more than one could have several reasons relating to like for instance pregnancy, disease transfer, child nursing etc. In a fantasy world where a woman doesn't have menstruating issues, pregnancy issues, no fear of disease transfer etc she won't have an issue with mutiple male partners. Dr Zakir naik in his explanation on why men can marry more than one stated several of these reasons. Even an article discussing about evolutional biology talked about how difficult it is for a woman getting many partners as tell me how she going to fulfill pregnancy obligations, child nurturing etc with these many husbands?? Your argument can even be refuted by showing girls dating multiple guy at the same time and loving one partner more than the other though dating is haram but I am talking about your argument that says they cannot love more than one.
@@programferris1018 oke akhi, i m sorry, may Allah forgive me, gonna edit my comment
@@aymanus04 nothing to sorry about brother, I apologize for being harsh. Your argument does hold true to some extent but if you analyze the issues more you will understand how it would have been EXTREMELY difficult to handle multiple husbands by a woman. Therfore Allah in his infinite wisdom didn't allow this. Alhamdulillah ❤️
Allahu alam, but I think it’s the niyah.
Allah swt has revealed a few things for me recently Alhamdullilah, when people are faced with retrials it reveals their true disposition subhanAllah.
Some brothers are doing it for their own benefit but condoning by saying it’s to ‘aid the Ummah’.
When push comes to shove the only thing their aiding is their own ideal.
Long and short: we’re not following the sunnah. The mindset, the actions, the understanding of our responsibilities, emotional intelligence but more importantly what we’re going to say to Allah swt on yawm al Qiyamah.
We need to address how we see the Dunya collectively InshaAllah.
Speaking from experience: please always keep Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى at the centre of everything you do and don’t *lie to yourself!!!* - Bi’ithniAllah. Well only be of the losers in the end. Nauthu Billah
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ
There's no concept of secret marriages
Why walima with front of all the public
Walima is an announcement from the man's side
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal Says u!!!...ignorant
@Wheat Pancakes reeks of cowardice from the man and a ticking time bomb like Ahmed said
Saying "Men are Polygamous by Nature" is against Islam..?
Why do almost all Scholars claim that men are polygamous by nature with no Islamic claim? This makes men think it's okay to open doors and feel for multiple women, when in the west, where everyone is treated "equally" women are equally polygamous, cheating on their husbands, for "fun" not for "love or emotional" reasons as many put it.
This means that both sexes are vulnerable in the same way.
I think the society allows men to behave this way or think this way, because it's a male dominated world, and they supressed women since the beginning of time, when in the end, both men and women are the same, committing the same sins. However, the world makes it okay for men to be this way, claiming its their nature. Ever wonder why Muslim parents will abandon their daughters forever if they caught them speaking to a guy but will not do anything if their son goes out and sleeps around with women? Why is that? In the Shariah, both is a sin, both are haram!
True women may be of more fitnah towards men, because women have more awrah to cover, yet they fail to, but most men are naturally in hijab, hence the reason for lesser fitnah for women.
The Polygamy allowed also speaks about helping widows or orphans, anyone who can clearly study the Quran can understand that. The Sahabah and Prophets mostly married older women who had children from other men who had died. If men want to follow the example of the Prophet, they should follow it in the way he practiced it. Wars were common, many women were left without homes or men to take care of them. Had Allah disapproved, we would suffer social issues.
There are many many many men who are happy with one wife, who dare not think about other women. Even having a thought of a non-mahram while married is a huge sin, how can one approach the thought of Polygamy knowing this is wrong? We see here the clear reasons for Polygamy. Some claim their wife is too fat or too old so they want to get another wife? It's because women are too busy with children they don't have time to even think of getting another man. Though the arab world makes it look like women have no physical desires or feelings.
The fact that society has suppressed this, is proof why they claim "Men are Polygamous by nature" I would like to see any type of proof from Islam that this is true? Men were more free to do whatever they pleased, this is the real reason, before Islam and after Islam. It's not a religious view, its a social view.
We Muslims are taught to follow the Quran and refer to sunnah and hadeeth, if men want to remarry, then why dont they read the verse on polygamy and refer to the sunnah and hadeeth? There are clear hadeeths that our Prophet pbuh the sahabah remarried older women to help them and be noble men for the sake of allah subhanwaltala, not for sexual reasons as Scholars put it these days.
Also when Hazrat Ali wanted to take a second wife for the reasons I put above, it made Hzt Fatima upset and Prophet pbuh forbade Hazrat Ali remarrying a second wife.
So if anyone can show a claim from ISLAM that men are polygamous, I would like to see. Please don't bring sciencists' claims into this, because even they claim things that go against Islam.
R u a secret wife
Aisha was right, no one suffers more than the believing women. Why do muslim men keep oppresing us with these types of disingenuous acts 😭
This is why Jesus said " a Man should not divorce his wife", Wickedness of man that he created Islam for his adulterous heart
My husband looking for second wife am supporting him but difficult to finding a sister to marry
If he was 6'7 gigachadullah it would be different
@@jeffreyepstein4310 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂subhanAllah
Don't force it, if he wants it that bad, inshaAllah let him make dua for it. Until then, don't force anything that isn't there. Just some food for thought
You takecare of your husband if you keep fulfilling him then he may forget about it still getting a second wife is also permissible.
Hahaha your husband will forget you! Hahaha
SECRET 2nd wife???? Grow some balls.
😂😁
These Muslim brothers dont respect women
@@JahannamHellfire Brother, it's much simpler than all this (thank you for the education). Be open with your wife, tell her you want a 2nd wife and then get on with it. It's your right under Islam,..there is no discussion necessary.
@@SativaSeanLasVegas No its not a right to oppress women in Islam! Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
@@SativaSeanLasVegas Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Women Abuse men every day, we are told to have sabr. So sisters need sabr too.
Islam = 4 Wives
Where you guys from?? You guys give me Croydon Vibes, like Croydon ICT Mosque or Madinah College Vibes.
You lot differently from South… I’m from Croydon btw.
I dont believe secret marriage very good in our time, but i dont see it to be haram.
Ibn Batuta travelled the World and married from maledives without his first wife knowing, how would he even tell her?
Yes but that was different secret marriages are exactly like non muslims cheating one another the only thing different is marriage you should talk to your wife b4 marriage because it's her right to know as well
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal that hush when heard will end your relationship khallas 🤣🤣
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal brother use your logic if your woman was with a different man in secret do you think it'll have a happy ending there's a reason 99% of men have only one wife both men and women have lust I agree men have more but allah swt never said to leave lust as it is otherwise zina would be common like how it is lol please read what I'm tryna say secret marriages is called secret because once found it's a bad ending for both by common sense
There's a communication gap that needs to be filled by husband and wife allah swt ask to live honourably the husband and wife should have strong communication
@The Black Swordsman Mikaal women have to obey husband not hitler plus women have feelings of lust too not as great as men it's husbands duty to communicate with wife properly if he wants a second wife and he must provide equal treatment so there's no dispute and if he cannot one is better prophet pbuh said this how cone you don't know? That's why 99.9% muslims have 1 wife and only rich Arabs mostly have more than 1 again
Please read the full comment before replying again don't act like a troll pls
@OJ stop speaking about prophets in this way have some shame and I’m not a liberal
Please let Brother Gabriel finish his views because we're left with half story. Would be beneficial knowing the other part of his view point
what is difference to be muslim and dont tell about second. its same with just sex on the side. Women she is also Allah daughter to treat good not like meat. if you so afraid from your wife dont think about it better clean your wife shoes abd be her slave all your life. Poligami its for high level mans like our prophet and best mans.
Read the surah from the top ! cant just pull things out of context
In all cultures the women are treated the same.
Only the details and manner is different.
I am grateful not being born one.
The problem is "Women get pregnant"
Nature is cruel. The urge is so strong.
The Peacock gives that lovely dance to get a mate.
All animals are same.
polyamory being advertised but truth is the guy isnt married to all the partners...so they dont risk going to jail.
Polygamy is not legal in the west..no legal protections, no inheritance, no medical support...rights are not given. Men dont fill 1st womens rights but ask for 2nd wife.
Wow this isnt in the usa .
Facts
. The level of confusion. I respect whatever we chose as individuals,but this sounds really heavy. It sounds like a lot of stuffing down emotions, dishonesty and my heart is heavy listening and watching.
I’m sure for those who choose this they see other benefits. It’s just hard to find them looking from the outside. Peace and Prayers to all.
This is deepl
Assalamualikum. Am Wasim Azim From Bangladesh. Am need 2nd wife
wa aleikom Assalaam wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuh
I don't fear my wife but i have a 2nd wife(just secret to her). Don't want the hustle of my kids not talking to me and giving headache. Im in another country and cant deal with it over the phone
@@JahannamHellfire its a secret to her.... not in general.....
So secret to her, her family, your kids- and you’re asking everyone else to lie? She is going to be so hurt when she finds out and you’re kids will probably hate you. Be honest.
@@JahannamHellfire Your not understanding its not secret to the public where im Living.
@@mishmash7776 He doesn't care to hurt and harm her. He just wants to make it easier for him.
Do you financially support both wives? I don’t understand this what if the first wife needs u physically but if u are content you will not feel the urge to go to ur first wife and she will feel unloved.
Ahmed👏👏👏
How can it b love or mercy if there r 2 wives? Its completely contradictory. IRL it only works if one of them isn’t really bothered about that stuff anyone. Can u imagine how jealous a man wld b in tht scenario? Why wld u think it wld b any different for an XX?
Polygamy is permissible in Islam. he’s the provider and maintainer of his wives. the women are his queens, not whores to desire other men 😮
good argument mashallah tbh