Hello friends! We hope you enjoy this video presentation featuring Michael Mirdad. Please remember that if you decide to post comments, they must not be too lengthy. Also, they need to be positive and constructive. If you enjoy these programs, we invite you to also join Michael’s private Facebook group: "Michael Mirdad's Circle of Friends." Lastly, you can learn more about Michael, his books and DVDs, his private sessions, and his live (and his previously recorded) workshops and courses. See links in the description box for more information. ~ Staff
When I was young I was historical. I was badly abused in many ways throughout my life. Including being stabbed and beaten so badly my back was broken. I think I was historical at any sign of anger or rejection because I was so afraid of what might come next. I wasn't a narcissist. I was a wall flower. Terrified all the time. I've gotten so much better in my old age. But please don't think of historical people as just being drama queans.
Unfortunately narcissist behavior is subtle. I was involved with someone who worked on me 12months into the relationship.. things changed after I have him my commitment. Then things started to change. Subtle manipulation, emotional manipulation all subtle just enough to confuse me, my mind, my intuition. It was only when I would call his bluffs, then things got real scary. Then he kicked me out, with no money, no place to go. He didn't care what would happen to me. Narcissist personality have no respect for your boundaries. They don't care about your boundaries. I tell you I didn't know what a narcissist personality was, never had I ever experienced that type ever in my life. He almost destroyed my Soul. It's taken 3 years of intensive therapy, a relocation move to a new city that I am back on track. Before I met him I was employed, have good self worth, confident woman....it's not that easy .... narcissist men are also attracted to beautiful strong independent successful woman....cause we boost their ego....just thought I'd add to the message. They are irrational people. You can't speak logic, cause these people are not logical..
Thank you for this post, exactly what I experienced a few years back and it took years to make sense of. I had so much going for me beforehand and I’m still rebuilding from the devastation on all fronts
When you know you're with a narcissist, there will come a time when you have no choice but to go and try to cut all contact... no amount of love and acceptance will make your life with them easier. And when they feel you're now centred and standing your ground... they're already looking to disengage from you and find another source of supply
@@doreenlane2370 - YES! with a spiritual COVERT malignant narcissist mother; she had and still has community church members she visits; triangulations and repeated gaining of fuel by literally fismemnering her very own kids: One against another. Now she is elderly; oh boy ..I could wrote a book about her hidden manipulations to discredit people and cause pain and isolation. She is worse now as she has lost so many friends and they have died. She cannot handle illness and her friends getting ill; but her karma is most get very ill around her....like my very clever dad getting dementia!
Exactly correct! When they see they no longer have you under their thumb, they are about triangulate or love bomb someone else. They need their food... Your adoration and admiration.
The only thing that's ever worked for me was No Contact with my narcissistic family. I wish them well but have decided that they're far too toxic to be around. If someone insists on remaining in such a relationship, they may be endangering their health and develop a disease like cancer or multiple sclerosis. It doesn't matter if it's a parent or a sibling--if they have this disorder and are abusive, get out and love them from afar.
Thank you for that. Yes, in my life where I have been in a position to step away and do no contact....i had been very healthy. Now due to many variables - I am responsible for and to this aging individual. Healthy boundaries, knowing who I am, and oodles of angels, plus videos like this one. Are beneficial. We can't just dump on them. They don't know what they do. Hold a light to that, that is what the saints do. I know Christmas said, brush off your Sandals and go, if they don't want to hear you. I dont think elderly parents were included. We shall see. Thanks for your comment ♡
Narcissists are the heavier karma for the ppl around them. Especially for the family, especially for children. To have a narc parent is the supreme hell and curst. Ever. Such abuse is absolutely irreversible.
You touched on sooooo much....thank you. Healing your own pain, realizing your self worth, learning to stand up for yourself and set boundaries is a true life lesson. Being a spiritual person does not mean being a door mat, nor does it give you the requirement to fix others...(thats the trap).
"Who do you think you are?" is what my narc ex asked when I started standing up for myself after 2 years under his thumb, so I told him "I'm Elizabeth that's who!" turns out Elizabeth is a form of the Hebrew name Elisheva meaning "My God is an oath" or "My God is abundance", yet there I was, dealing with the devil himself who broke me to the point of destitution.
I am still crying every time I talk about what I was done to me in my toxic family, and now my husbands. I go off on tangents, even if I see a relation to something on TV. We have moved to another state and that has given me time to work on myself. It has caused an awakening to what kind of marriage I have, and now I’m working on that 🙏🏾
Now I’m towards the end of your video- THANK YOU! I have bashed my self worth quite a bit throughout this lifetime. I AM in the process of “remembering “ who I really am. Trying everyday, to simply love myself... Thanks so much, again!
Lived with one for 15 years. It's taken a lot of work to overcome the sense of betrayal and the lack of self esteem that occurred by being with someone who never took accountability for thier behaviour. What I have come to learn is that my time with him was necessary so as to become who I am today. Hard lesson.
Thank you for this video. It is amazing how the info alone can relieve any sadness or neg emotions just in having the knowledge. To already know some of this..but then to be reminded I need to continue educating and listening... I so appreciate you and your wisdom.❤🙏
Thank you for clarifying this topic in such depth, explaining the mythology. Your description of hell and our need for punishment was bang on, so was the role we play in a narcissistic relationship,. You really do excel in what you do, thanks for sharing so generously your knowledge and expertise.
It is true what you said, living in hell on earth. Every time i have attempted to crawl out of the swamp, i just get pulled back into the depts again. So many times over 30 years i have forgiven, tried to value myself and I've grown, then I've seen the light ahead, i have felt the breeze and lightness of freedom within my very soul, I'm just within the grasp of self peace, then suddenly from nowhere, I'm pulled back into hell. Thank you for your guidance and light. I shall not allow my soul light die.
And yes! I practice forgiveness in my meditations constantly because he has no awareness- he is oblivious. lots of “I”s in my sentences, yes. But no, I have always come from a place of compassion and service to others... pretty sure that’s why I am always so blown away by this behavior. Much love~
My narc used silent treatment. In that way i learned i to speak. I learned how to go back to myself. In that way i found out who i am, what is my purpose and i get the answer to my questions. Some teachers say cut off but i do reverse. Because i found out that to run away are not the solution. Thats why i try it in the way that bring fair justice for both of us. I listen to my guidance inside me. It works very well. And i found out that the hard things to do gets much better result. I listen to all the teachers either positive or negative because i learned how to decide. The highness in me knows about Everything in me. Then i start to trust the decision that cames up in me. I treasured no fear, win or lose i treasured something amazingly and beautiful inside me. I know that im still i process but its really works. Im so happy that i found this instruction of my life. Im thankful to all the teachers that i heard. And ofcourse im thankful to my faith. My faith is my Everything. So thats why i understand what ever faith people have, that is our strength and our EVERYTHING.
Thank you love your talks.I believe my hardships with a bipolar man taught me my greatest truths and put me on my spiritual path.I had to otherwise i would stay in hell.Thanks so much for your time and wisdom.
Lol I loved this video thank you for your kind words 🙏🏼 I have to acknowledge my part in this relationship and it’s like coming to a aha moment . Much love to you 💛
Thank you Michael for all your teaching and you helped me in the most difficult time of my life and I thank you for that and now your are helping me with how to cope with Co-decency 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks so much for this, it popped up in my feed at the perfect time. Helped me alot. Subscribed! :) cant wait to go through your other videos to learn more from ya
Although the topic is serious i have to say your way of explaining is very funny. I finally see my pattern and why I attract narcissistic people and are working on loving and respecting myself. Thank you for the time you put into the videos. 🙏
Really enjoyed this talk Michael. Your metaphor for a narcissistic relationship as ‘being in hell’ is spot on. I was in such a relationship once and it was utterly tormenting. Thank God I had enough self awareness to acknowledge what was going on & walk away. 🙏🏻
Narcissist always shame people .... They are sweet to outside people & monsters behind closed doors ..... They like to make issues on a regular basis, to blame you and make themselves feel better of themselves .... Have 0 boundaries .... They think you are small ...... Everything are usually their way many of the time ...
I had to deal with a few of these people and it really opened my eyes to archetypes and how its prevalent as a dominant figures of our reality, from government to economy, family amd even in myself. Noticing the narcissism in yourself is really the beginning of immense growth.
Thank you for the best explanantion of Narcissism I have heard to date.It is the most compassionate. Remembering who we are is such a blessing. The friendship I walked away from, was a mirror for self work It is a blessing.
Thank you - this teaching has blessed my understanding - I know this will be in my file of 'go-to's' so remind me who I am and how to be with the Narcissist in my life. So many thanks
I enjoyed your video that was about codependency. You confirmed much of what I've thought about lately. Your explanation about our three relationships (myself God and others) was helpful. I think I can use your explanation to pay attention better about where I need to home in on my practice to keep me grounded. Thank you for making these videos.
Forgiveness and LOVE are truly superpowers.!! when the ego is attacking you you have the right to stand in your CHRIST given power and speak truth and make the demons flee, we have been given the authority by CHRIST, the only time the ego won’t flee is when your are not in your power which again is love and forgiveness.💙
i enjoyed this new knowledge of the narcissism origin. which is new to me, my own mother showed me narcisstic traits i later learned after she died. i learned i could free myself from this relationship with a narcissus. in this i was able to heal being the victim to being the narcissus to healed aware of its personality.
I really appreciate the explanation and perspectives Michael drew to demonstrate what narcissism is about n how to deal with it. He really took it to a deep area. I really liked it .... whoops, I said ‘I’ again 😅😅 🙏🙏🙏
Very interesting content. There's an aspect we can ponder about which in putting ourselves in a position where we're the victims of narcissists hiding the fact that we're nascisists as well. Kind of being a victim to prove to myself I'm not the "bad guy". Maybe that's why we associated ourselves in the situation in the first place, or were born in such a family with a narcissist father or mother. Some aspects of our own personalities get so tricky to find sometimes. We should be able to put ourselves *especially* in the place of those we feel opposite the most. It's a good place for our ego to hide.
My ex would leave me feeling physically and mentally drained. Everything was my fault or someone else's. If I had a headache he had a migraine. He would stonewall me gas light me. O could bever sit AMF have a conversation about our relationship because he would sat he didn't want to hear me complain about things wring with him. Never took responsibility for anything. He was a nightmare
You're right on target asking us to figure out what we have or don't have that gets us hooked up with ppl who have personality disorders. Low self worth, clinical lack of self love, feeling unworthy to set boundaries and enforce them for our own protection (believing) we don't deserve to have them, or that nobody will ever love us if we do (lack of self value ==> disregard for our safety or even believing we deserve mistreatment and misfortune... This is a partial list of attitudes that we hold that allow, indeed __encourage us to set ourselves up for deep and lasting pain. _Setting_ boundaries helps us clarify issues and identify attitudes that somehow - someday HAVE to be fixed shows us how wonderful it feels to be OK, despite the loneliness. Fine tuning, repair, reestablishing & maintaining boundaries helps us feel deserving of honest and healthy love ... and respect. It's a helix: If we maintain boundaries we'll become more appreciative, loving, and understanding of ourselves, and DEMAND that we be treated with love and respect... If we don't do this for ourselves; it won't work in our _future_ or even. In our _present... Maybe we're all crazy... Who knows?
Narcissists choose givers or "empaths" as preys. Not necessarily people will low self-esteem. Although, they will get you there eventually. Empaths are interesting to a narc for various reasons particularly because they are people pleasers, will try to accommodate and adapt to the narcissist's growing needs, and will eventually try to save the narc to the expense of their own wellness, very codependent relationship. Not all narcissists are that obvious, most are smart and insidious, manipulative and covert. The mask will crumble slowly, after the empath is sufficiently hooked and paralyzed. Learn the red flags early (progressive isolation of the victim, lack of empathy, inability to understand someone else's point of view (emotionally), mirroring, gaslighting, no sincere apologies, plays the victim, guilt trips, silent treatment, slowly evolving emotional and verbal abuse, will get to physical abuse eventually, use of people (like objects), self-centered... Grandiosity, rages, and bragging are not always obvious, particularly on a covert narc). Spot the red flags, set your boundaries, avoid falling into the trap, and for your own sake, stay away.
I'm not sure if my parents were Narcissist but the emotional manipulation there, the control freak, seeing me as an extension of them, kind of teaching me to doubt my reality often but it's hard to pin a diagnosis. Just think more along the lines of damaged people.
I am 100% in agreement with healing what's in us when it comes to narcissists and that has been my focus. I have always wondered what actually causes this disorder? You mention having compassion and maybe having an understanding of what has made them this way will help.
The causes vary. Some are this way because they were an only child and now feel entitled. Others are this way due to past life influences. And the list goes on. ~MM
Yes, there can be but not necessarily. To simply say it's trauma is too simplistic because a narcissist is so intent on being selfish, it's as though they are more interested in messing with the minds of others than they are in wanting to heal--not unlike a psychopath in that sense. It's a very selfish disorder. ~MM
Interesting about the conversations. I do that, interject similarities, in conversations but it feels to me more like wanting to connect. That's how I feel about it when I mention similarities (exactly how you described) but maybe others feel like your explaining. Maybe say "I've had a similar experience would you like to hear it?" because it's fun to share things that are in common, makes sense.
Thank you on a level words cannot express. I have been living in a self made hell. I am becoming aware of my path to spiritual healing and I am climbing out of my hell. I am thankful of your advice how to respond in a Christ like way.
I don’t think being a kind and loving person is having low self worth. No body is perfect we all deal with dramas differently I think learning about placing boundaries is where I have learned the lesson. The veil has lifted. That’s for sure.
Meditation keeps me in check sometimes when communicating with people everything is about me being a empath I use to get drown in to their what about me attitude became noticeable ugh.TY
There is one main characteristic - no empathy, in a biginning yes, because its fake, Its agenda, but down the road, just no empathy for noone. Everything that is yours, its theres, everything that its theres, its just theres. I am highly sensitive person and codependent and i always like to look it myself in a mirror, and i really love to take selfies and to be center of attantion, but narcissism is something way different. Its when you heart people here and there and you dont feel remorse or ever feel that you did something wrong, you just exploit everyone and everything- for your personal gain
I really dont mind if someone is selfish or even self absorbed thats just a boring person but it is the arrogance and manipulation and putdowns and digs and mean judging and doing mean things and mean advise and what they call constructive criticism and how they will go out of their way to treat others nice to show what a good person they are as they are going out of their way to reject and emotionally abuse you in every way. It is the emotional abuse that is so hurtful. That's when you have to decide how much time you can spend with this person if any lf you are always feeling bad when you are with this person then maybe this is not a good situation. Some people don't let this kind of stuff get to them because they are ok with themselves and refuse to let someone bring them down if that's at all possible.
Narcissistic men hate women, yes they need to deal with mother issues. Very angry souls and disconnected . Most narcs end up in jail as their self distractive.
Berta Anna some end up with “successful” businesses “perfect on the outside relationships” and often make out that its the women around them that are delusional 😢
@@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle true . Anyone who isn't connected to source has some form of selfishness the ego. Narcissism is scary . Boundaries boundaries , make boundaries you can hold.
I commented on a narcissist that develops over buried pain and is on a continuum. There is a second way a narcissist develops that I am aware of. When a person gets too much attention and importance and that is the energetic programing they are brought up with. My brother is a pain/neediness type narcissist and my sister a spoiled/entitled type narcissist. The difference between an aggressive narcissist and a covert narcissist is just the type of tools a personality uses to get their needed attention be it positive or negative energy. Negative attention (energy) is better than no attention (energy) at all.
Hi Michael, happy holy days... hope you read this, and can perhaps help clear something up for me. I have recently just had things thrown into the air with understanding (what George Simon calls) character disturbance and all the spectrum of the different dysfunctions... Simon speaks about how the last 50 years of pop psychology has really had it backwards in understanding a lot of these kinds of personality malfunctions. In the victorian era (freud etc) it was very repressive obviously, and it was really understood that all these neuroses stem from repression, shame, judgment, unconscious wounding etc. This is still true in some cases. But what he has found is that for the extreme cases of personality dysfunction (heavier narcissists, psychopaths, etc.) its not that these people have unconscious wounding and that their personalities are defence mechanisms... its just literally that they think they ARE God, they ARE the centre of the universe, they are actually CONSCIOUS of their manipulative tactics (rather than unconsciously creating scenarios with a LACK OF awareness), and that their problem isn't the unconscious wounding... their problem is that they are just aggressive and will take advantage of everyone and everything to have their way... and we see some of these imbalanced behaviours encouraged in society, things like entitlement and "just DO IT" kinds of things. And the idea that all kids who are bullies are shame based wounded kids... not always true. Some are just aggressive, they have been given what the wanted all the time, they don't take responsibility, and they become the manipulators... So it used to be in psychology "never judge", never attack character, because we need to hold space for people to feel safe to explore their wounding... but this does NOT WORK with the deeper narcissistic types. Their character NEEDS to be confronted in a DIRECT and no-nonsense way. The only thing that really works is... the creation of self awareness (or less egocentric awareness, perhaps) through CHANGING BEHAVIOUR, and to have really hardcore tough love boundaries with them. Its a completely different therapeutic methodology, which is why this problem is so rampant now too in the way that MOST therapists CANNOT deal with this problem because they have the COMPLETELY WRONG MINDSET; these assumptions about neurosis being the cause of all dysfunction (NOT true), carried over from the times of the Victorian age, where it was much more true. (And still true for some especially the more codependent types.) Im really trying to rectify the problem from a metaphysical standpoint with this... I can see in myself when I have had dysfunctional patterns... for me it is definitely true that I was neurotic and had defence mechanisms and poor patterns as a consequence of deep wounding, abandonment, isolation etc... in THIS way, I can see the philosophy of "forgetting who you are [divine being]", developing healthy shame i.e. HUMILITY, etc.... Can you help me figure out how this 'forgetting' occurs within these more hardcore dysfunctional characters? The problem isn't their shame... its their LACK OF shame, or LACK OF humility. I used to think that of course they are just so ashamed that they have this compensation ego complex, but now it seems this is not the Truth about these really dark beings. I thought that only self doubt and toxic shame creates these egocentric shadows... can only ideas such as past life karma explain this? Organic portals? Ugh, such a minefield :( Many thanks, Risa.
Well Risa...this is too huge of a topic to cover here but it's definitely accurate to say that modern psychology (like religion, medicine, etc.) is an institution that can--at best--only float around horizontally making its best guess at the issues within the human psyche. They can never really get to the truth of the matter because without God, you can't have truth. So it's just another intellectual facet of the world that is sadly missing the mark and having to then keep changing its theories. ~MM
Narcissists do not have a lack of shame, on the contrary, but I am not here to debate that. Therapists cannot deal with cluster B personality disorders for various reasons but we know more now that neuroscience is researching what in the brain is not working for people to lack empathy. Results show there is a lack of response from the amygdala. Maybe look into neuroscience for your answers :)
Maybe their souls have been hijacked. Maybe maternal stress while in the womb. Maybe epigenetics. Maybe all of the above. You're describing a psychopath btw. Completely lacking a conscience. Which all psychopaths are narcissists. Not all narcissists are psychopaths. Psychopathy used to be treated as a neurological or medical issue. Not a mental. But a narcissist is not conscious of their manipulation or deceit. Psychopaths on the other hand. Putin may be a great example of how calculated and cold he is. The world is their stage and the players in it are theirs too. They lack the certain neurotransmitters that are necessary in order to bond with others. There is such thing I believe as having cerebral empathy that isn't limbic or visceral, meaning, they are mentally capable of seeing your perspective, but with no emotions connected to it. They can think "oh how sad" but they can't feel that sadness. Like autism and many other plagues, I believe the cause is multifaceted. Yet, I believe they all serve a greater purpose we just maybe cannot see from a third dimensional view. Why is this something you must seek answers to?
-have you read "in Sheep's clothing How to deal with manipulative people" George Simon, MD. It is a game changer in many languages as so incredible. I believe that boom should be on the school reading curriculum to help safeguard from a young age. It teaches us so much and reverse a old Freudian ideas....ie that people don't know what they are doing!= putting ourselves very much at risk from psychopaths and other disordered individuals.
All the women in my family would get really offended by weird things I did as a child and I just excepted it and it made me insecure and I would try to talk to them in different ways so they wouldn’t get mad I would try to talk differently to be excepted by the ones I loved to not be a bad child scared to be un loved. Nothing made me happy as a child I always wanted more things because nothing satisfied me. Later in life I feel as if Im not really here
Toxic family rarely knows they are toxic! It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to learn to love your self. Utube has a wealth of information on the subject of dysfunctional family..... Please learn as much as you can and heal then help others, your not alone.
Hello friends! We hope you enjoy this video presentation featuring Michael Mirdad. Please remember that if you decide to post comments, they must not be too lengthy. Also, they need to be positive and constructive. If you enjoy these programs, we invite you to also join Michael’s private Facebook group: "Michael Mirdad's Circle of Friends." Lastly, you can learn more about Michael, his books and DVDs, his private sessions, and his live (and his previously recorded) workshops and courses. See links in the description box for more information. ~ Staff
When I was young I was historical. I was badly abused in many ways throughout my life. Including being stabbed and beaten so badly my back was broken. I think I was historical at any sign of anger or rejection because I was so afraid of what might come next. I wasn't a narcissist. I was a wall flower. Terrified all the time. I've gotten so much better in my old age. But please don't think of historical people as just being drama queans.
Unfortunately narcissist behavior is subtle. I was involved with someone who worked on me 12months into the relationship.. things changed after I have him my commitment. Then things started to change. Subtle manipulation, emotional manipulation all subtle just enough to confuse me, my mind, my intuition. It was only when I would call his bluffs, then things got real scary. Then he kicked me out, with no money, no place to go. He didn't care what would happen to me.
Narcissist personality have no respect for your boundaries. They don't care about your boundaries.
I tell you I didn't know what a narcissist personality was, never had I ever experienced that type ever in my life. He almost destroyed my Soul. It's taken 3 years of intensive therapy, a relocation move to a new city that I am back on track.
Before I met him I was employed, have good self worth, confident woman....it's not that easy .... narcissist men are also attracted to beautiful strong independent successful woman....cause we boost their ego....just thought I'd add to the message. They are irrational people. You can't speak logic, cause these people are not logical..
Thank you for this post, exactly what I experienced a few years back and it took years to make sense of. I had so much going for me beforehand and I’m still rebuilding from the devastation on all fronts
So sorry. And yes, we should not bother trying to get something rational out of irrational people nor irrational behaviors. ~MM
When you know you're with a narcissist, there will come a time when you have no choice but to go and try to cut all contact... no amount of love and acceptance will make your life with them easier. And when they feel you're now centred and standing your ground... they're already looking to disengage from you and find another source of supply
Nalan Young so true I just got out of a relationship with one
So Michael..loved thd video very much..my mom is a narrc..i am disabled..hiw do i get other help outside of my current ties?
They can have more than one supply at a time I learned
@@doreenlane2370 - YES! with a spiritual COVERT malignant narcissist mother; she had and still has community church members she visits; triangulations and repeated gaining of fuel by literally fismemnering her very own kids:
One against another. Now she is elderly; oh boy
..I could wrote a book about her hidden manipulations to discredit people and cause pain and isolation. She is worse now as she has lost so many friends and they have died. She cannot handle illness and her friends getting ill; but her karma is most get very ill around her....like my very clever dad getting dementia!
Exactly correct! When they see they no longer have you under their thumb, they are about triangulate or love bomb someone else. They need their food... Your adoration and admiration.
The only thing that's ever worked for me was No Contact with my narcissistic family. I wish them well but have decided that they're far too toxic to be around. If someone insists on remaining in such a relationship, they may be endangering their health and develop a disease like cancer or multiple sclerosis. It doesn't matter if it's a parent or a sibling--if they have this disorder and are abusive, get out and love them from afar.
Peace Joy
I agree 100%
I’m at the exact same point in my life
Thank you for that. Yes, in my life where I have been in a position to step away and do no contact....i had been very healthy.
Now due to many variables - I am responsible for and to this aging individual.
Healthy boundaries, knowing who I am, and oodles of angels, plus videos like this one.
Are beneficial. We can't just dump on them. They don't know what they do. Hold a light to that, that is what the saints do.
I know Christmas said, brush off your Sandals and go, if they don't want to hear you.
I dont think elderly parents were included.
We shall see.
Thanks for your comment ♡
@@janiemiller825 listen to the words of wisdom….get out now and never look back.
That's my experience as well, no contact has been the only option that has worked. I appreciate you sharing that and it helps to know I am not alone.
Narcissists are the heavier karma for the ppl around them. Especially for the family, especially for children. To have a narc parent is the supreme hell and curst. Ever. Such abuse is absolutely irreversible.
This is a timeless teaching...one that will be helping others at the time it falls into their path.
You touched on sooooo much....thank you. Healing your own pain, realizing your self worth, learning to stand up for yourself and set boundaries is a true life lesson. Being a spiritual person does not mean being a door mat, nor does it give you the requirement to fix others...(thats the trap).
Shark 🦈 = Narc
Heal oneself - beyond a bleeding victim so as not to attract the shark 🦈- narc to you. Great 👍 analogy !! Bravo 👏
"Who do you think you are?" is what my narc ex asked when I started standing up for myself after 2 years under his thumb, so I told him "I'm Elizabeth that's who!" turns out Elizabeth is a form of the Hebrew name Elisheva meaning "My God is an oath" or "My God is abundance", yet there I was, dealing with the devil himself who broke me to the point of destitution.
I'm so glad your soul gave him an answer. ~MM
@@MichaelMirdadTeacher Yes indeed! Thank you for sharing your wisdom :)
“Who do you think you are?” My jaw just dropped because exactly what I’m dealing with word for word.
I am still crying every time I talk about what I was done to me in my toxic family, and now my husbands. I go off on tangents, even if I see a relation to something on TV. We have moved to another state and that has given me time to work on myself. It has caused an awakening to what kind of marriage I have, and now I’m working on that 🙏🏾
Yes! Thank you! A narcissist also manipulates, plays games and creates stories to make others bend to their demands.
Now I’m towards the end of your video-
THANK YOU! I have bashed my self worth quite a bit throughout this lifetime. I AM in the process of “remembering “ who I really am. Trying everyday, to simply love myself...
Thanks so much, again!
You are LOVE
Best guidance on the dynamics involved in the dance of a narcissist and a co- dependent I've seen.
The hell metaphor is helpful. Kinda puts a smile in my heart knowing all things can be turned into good, positive outcomes!
Lived with one for 15 years. It's taken a lot of work to overcome the sense of betrayal and the lack of self esteem that occurred by being with someone who never took accountability for thier behaviour. What I have come to learn is that my time with him was necessary so as to become who I am today. Hard lesson.
Thank you for this video. It is amazing how the info alone can relieve any sadness or neg emotions just in having the knowledge.
To already know some of this..but then to be reminded I need to continue educating and listening...
I so appreciate you and your wisdom.❤🙏
Thank you for clarifying this topic in such depth, explaining the mythology.
Your description of hell and our need for punishment was bang on, so was the role we play in a narcissistic relationship,.
You really do excel in what you do, thanks for sharing so generously your knowledge and expertise.
Crazy how accurate this is.
Thank you michael, all your teachings really help a lot. Very easy to understand.
It is true what you said, living in hell on earth. Every time i have attempted to crawl out of the swamp, i just get pulled back into the depts again. So many times over 30 years i have forgiven, tried to value myself and I've grown, then I've seen the light ahead, i have felt the breeze and lightness of freedom within my very soul, I'm just within the grasp of self peace, then suddenly from nowhere, I'm pulled back into hell. Thank you for your guidance and light. I shall not allow my soul light die.
Bless you Michael. Thank you for sharing your spiritual perspective.
And yes! I practice forgiveness in my meditations constantly because he has no awareness- he is oblivious.
lots of “I”s in my sentences, yes. But no, I have always come from a place of compassion and service to others... pretty sure that’s why I am always so blown away by this behavior.
Much love~
Thank you so much, this has been very insightful. You are a blessing to the masses dear friend.
Thankyou for all your work for humanity - I’m so happy that I tuned in, now I can’t tune out,! Bravo. 😎
My narc used silent treatment.
In that way i learned i to speak.
I learned how to go back to myself.
In that way i found out who i am, what is my purpose and i get the answer to my questions.
Some teachers say cut off but i do reverse. Because i found out that to run away are not the solution.
Thats why i try it in the way that bring fair justice for both of us. I listen to my guidance inside me.
It works very well. And i found out that the hard things to do gets much better result.
I listen to all the teachers either positive or negative because i learned how to decide.
The highness in me knows about Everything in me. Then i start to trust the decision that cames up in me. I treasured no fear, win or lose i treasured something amazingly and beautiful inside me. I know that im still i process but its really works.
Im so happy that i found this instruction of my life. Im thankful to all the teachers that i heard. And ofcourse im thankful to my faith.
My faith is my Everything.
So thats why i understand what ever faith people have, that is our strength and our EVERYTHING.
Thank you love your talks.I believe my hardships with a bipolar man taught me my greatest truths and put me on my spiritual path.I had to otherwise i would stay in hell.Thanks so much for your time and wisdom.
Lol I loved this video thank you for your kind words 🙏🏼 I have to acknowledge my part in this relationship and it’s like coming to a aha moment . Much love to you 💛
Brother you are spot on! Thanks for the message 🙏
Lovely. Thankyou 🦋
Great video Michael, really enjoy listening to how you explain things!
Thank you Michael for all your teaching and you helped me in the most difficult time of my life and I thank you for that and now your are helping me with how to cope with Co-decency 🙏🙏🙏
So many things resonated with me in many many way. You are appreciated
This is incredibly helpful! Thank you so much!
Thanks so much for this, it popped up in my feed at the perfect time. Helped me alot. Subscribed! :) cant wait to go through your other videos to learn more from ya
One positive for 45 is bringing this issue front-and-center...for the healing of our mind, of course. :) Good talk.
Although the topic is serious i have to say your way of explaining is very funny. I finally see my pattern and why I attract narcissistic people and are working on loving and respecting myself. Thank you for the time you put into the videos. 🙏
Really enjoyed this talk Michael. Your metaphor for a narcissistic relationship as ‘being in hell’ is spot on. I was in such a relationship once and it was utterly tormenting. Thank God I had enough self awareness to acknowledge what was going on & walk away. 🙏🏻
Wonderful! Good for you! ~MM
Narcissist always shame people ....
They are sweet to outside people & monsters behind closed doors .....
They like to make issues on a regular basis, to blame you and make themselves feel better of themselves ....
Have 0 boundaries ....
They think you are small ......
Everything are usually their way many of the time ...
I had to deal with a few of these people and it really opened my eyes to archetypes and how its prevalent as a dominant figures of our reality, from government to economy, family amd even in myself. Noticing the narcissism in yourself is really the beginning of immense growth.
Thank you for the best explanantion of Narcissism I have heard to date.It is the most compassionate. Remembering who we are is such a blessing. The friendship I walked away from, was a mirror for self work It is a blessing.
Thank you for feeling the intention here. ~MM
Thank you - this teaching has blessed my understanding - I know this will be in my file of 'go-to's' so remind me who I am and how to be with the Narcissist in my life. So many thanks
I enjoyed your video that was about codependency. You confirmed much of what I've thought about lately. Your explanation about our three relationships (myself God and others) was helpful. I think I can use your explanation to pay attention better about where I need to home in on my practice to keep me grounded. Thank you for making these videos.
This was excellent and yes I need to examine further the part I played and why. Thank you
Wonderful. Great humility. MM
You made good sense. And I didn't know the whole Greek story about the narcissist. Thank you again.
Forgiveness and LOVE are truly superpowers.!! when the ego is attacking you you have the right to stand in your CHRIST given power and speak truth and make the demons flee, we have been given the authority by CHRIST, the only time the ego won’t flee is when your are not in your power which again is love and forgiveness.💙
so helpful Thank You. It makes complete scene
Dear Michael, thank you so much for this video! The one most suiting on this subject I’ve seen lately…🙏
Wow, thank you! ~MM
Lived my childhood with a narcissistic mother. Love that this information is here and it is so real and true. 💙
Exactly what I needed. Thank you!
You're welcome! ~MM
I love you brother and thank you!
Great messages. Thank you.
Wow! This is really well done. Quite an accurate and compassionate explanation of cluster b peeps! 💗
Thank you, i find your explanations clarify a lot that are missing in other videod
i enjoyed this new knowledge of the narcissism origin. which is new to me, my own mother showed me narcisstic traits i later learned after she died. i learned i could free myself from this relationship with a narcissus. in this i was able to heal being the victim to being the narcissus to healed aware of its personality.
56:00 wow yess exactly self-esteem, wholeness, trust in our deservability...
Joseph Campbell was a great mythologist. Great work on building bridges between philosophy and the myths out there in the world. Worth the watch! 💗✨🙏
The Most Honest and Helpful video on this topic. Thank You 🙏💙💜🌎🕊️
Right on! Thank you. ~MM
I really appreciate the explanation and perspectives Michael drew to demonstrate what narcissism is about n how to deal with it. He really took it to a deep area. I really liked it .... whoops, I said ‘I’ again 😅😅 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for Holding my hand in my Dreams while Im flying 🌸💗🌸
Thank you for the sharing 🙏🏻
My pleasure. ~MM
Very interesting content. There's an aspect we can ponder about which in putting ourselves in a position where we're the victims of narcissists hiding the fact that we're nascisists as well. Kind of being a victim to prove to myself I'm not the "bad guy". Maybe that's why we associated ourselves in the situation in the first place, or were born in such a family with a narcissist father or mother. Some aspects of our own personalities get so tricky to find sometimes. We should be able to put ourselves *especially* in the place of those we feel opposite the most. It's a good place for our ego to hide.
Such refreshing information
Thank you
Great 👍 video & info
Thank you 😊
thank you Michael, very clarifying...
So glad! ~MM
Thanks a lot for such a wonderful video...it's spot on...v useful for people like me in relationship with a narcissist...God bless you
You're most welcome. ~MM
My ex would leave me feeling physically and mentally drained. Everything was my fault or someone else's. If I had a headache he had a migraine. He would stonewall me gas light me. O could bever sit AMF have a conversation about our relationship because he would sat he didn't want to hear me complain about things wring with him. Never took responsibility for anything. He was a nightmare
You're right on target asking us to figure out what we have or don't have that gets us hooked up with ppl who have personality disorders. Low self worth, clinical lack of self love, feeling unworthy to set boundaries and enforce them for our own protection (believing) we don't deserve to have them, or that nobody will ever love us if we do (lack of self value ==> disregard for our safety or even believing we deserve mistreatment and misfortune... This is a partial list of attitudes that we hold that allow, indeed __encourage us to set ourselves up for deep and lasting pain. _Setting_ boundaries helps us clarify issues and identify attitudes that somehow - someday HAVE to be fixed shows us how wonderful it feels to be OK, despite the loneliness.
Fine tuning, repair, reestablishing & maintaining boundaries helps us feel deserving of honest and healthy love ... and respect. It's a helix: If we maintain boundaries we'll become more appreciative, loving, and understanding of ourselves, and DEMAND that we be treated with love and respect... If we don't do this for ourselves; it won't work in our _future_ or even. In our _present...
Maybe we're all crazy... Who knows?
Narcissists choose givers or "empaths" as preys. Not necessarily people will low self-esteem. Although, they will get you there eventually. Empaths are interesting to a narc for various reasons particularly because they are people pleasers, will try to accommodate and adapt to the narcissist's growing needs, and will eventually try to save the narc to the expense of their own wellness, very codependent relationship. Not all narcissists are that obvious, most are smart and insidious, manipulative and covert. The mask will crumble slowly, after the empath is sufficiently hooked and paralyzed. Learn the red flags early (progressive isolation of the victim, lack of empathy, inability to understand someone else's point of view (emotionally), mirroring, gaslighting, no sincere apologies, plays the victim, guilt trips, silent treatment, slowly evolving emotional and verbal abuse, will get to physical abuse eventually, use of people (like objects), self-centered... Grandiosity, rages, and bragging are not always obvious, particularly on a covert narc). Spot the red flags, set your boundaries, avoid falling into the trap, and for your own sake, stay away.
Rarely a narcissist thinks he should work on himself.
Thank you, excellent talk, very helpful.
You're very welcome! ~MM
It’s very insightful ❤thank you for giving this lesson or sharing your thoughts if that’s how you would call it
Glad it was helpful! ~MM
thank you for a very insightful and helpful video again. I would love to hear a talk on and your insights about misogyny
Sorry but it's not something we can cover anytime soon. ~MM
I'm not sure if my parents were Narcissist but the emotional manipulation there, the control freak, seeing me as an extension of them, kind of teaching me to doubt my reality often but it's hard to pin a diagnosis. Just think more along the lines of damaged people.
Accurate in every example. We've been together for 40 yrs.
I am 100% in agreement with healing what's in us when it comes to narcissists and that has been my focus. I have always wondered what actually causes this disorder? You mention having compassion and maybe having an understanding of what has made them this way will help.
The causes vary. Some are this way because they were an only child and now feel entitled. Others are this way due to past life influences. And the list goes on. ~MM
@@MichaelMirdadTeacher is there often childhood trauma involved?
Yes, there can be but not necessarily. To simply say it's trauma is too simplistic because a narcissist is so intent on being selfish, it's as though they are more interested in messing with the minds of others than they are in wanting to heal--not unlike a psychopath in that sense. It's a very selfish disorder. ~MM
Interesting about the conversations. I do that, interject similarities, in conversations but it feels to me more like wanting to connect. That's how I feel about it when I mention similarities (exactly how you described) but maybe others feel like your explaining. Maybe say "I've had a similar experience would you like to hear it?" because it's fun to share things that are in common, makes sense.
Thank you on a level words cannot express. I have been living in a self made hell. I am becoming aware of my path to spiritual healing and I am climbing out of my hell. I am thankful of your advice how to respond in a Christ like way.
Well I'm honored to have helped in any way. ~MM
Not the jaws theme as our wedding song 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I like the “ we “ . Bravo 👏
God Bless Always! 💖
You too! ~MM
I don’t think being a kind and loving person is having low self worth. No body is perfect we all deal with dramas differently I think learning about placing boundaries is where I have learned the lesson. The veil has lifted. That’s for sure.
I’ll be interested in a Greek mythology online course
Nice.. :-) Thanks for your look at it.
Meditation keeps me in check sometimes when communicating with people everything is about me being a empath I use to get drown in to their what about me attitude became noticeable ugh.TY
Thank you:)
There is one main characteristic - no empathy, in a biginning yes, because its fake, Its agenda, but down the road, just no empathy for noone. Everything that is yours, its theres, everything that its theres, its just theres.
I am highly sensitive person and codependent and i always like to look it myself in a mirror, and i really love to take selfies and to be center of attantion, but narcissism is something way different. Its when you heart people here and there and you dont feel remorse or ever feel that you did something wrong, you just exploit everyone and everything- for your personal gain
My daughter has this condition. I have done all I can and more. It’s sad …but I put up a wall. For my health. BTW you look nice in blue.
Its gold
The only way to deal with a narc is to go no contact for ever !
Absolutely!!!!!
I really dont mind if someone is selfish or even self absorbed thats just a boring person but it is the arrogance and manipulation and putdowns and digs and mean judging and doing mean things and mean advise and what they call constructive criticism and how they will go out of their way to treat others nice to show what a good person they are as they are going out of their way to reject and emotionally abuse you in every way. It is the emotional abuse that is so hurtful. That's when you have to decide how much time you can spend with this person if any lf you are always feeling bad when you are with this person then maybe this is not a good situation. Some people don't let this kind of stuff get to them because they are ok with themselves and refuse to let someone bring them down if that's at all possible.
thank you
You're welcome. ~MM
Narcissistic men hate women, yes they need to deal with mother issues.
Very angry souls and disconnected .
Most narcs end up in jail as their self distractive.
Berta Anna some end up with “successful” businesses “perfect on the outside relationships” and often make out that its the women around them that are delusional 😢
@@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle true . Anyone who isn't connected to source has some form of selfishness the ego. Narcissism is scary . Boundaries boundaries , make boundaries you can hold.
I commented on a narcissist that develops over buried pain and is on a continuum. There is a second way a narcissist develops that I am aware of. When a person gets too much attention and importance and that is the energetic programing they are brought up with. My brother is a pain/neediness type narcissist and my sister a spoiled/entitled type narcissist. The difference between an aggressive narcissist and a covert narcissist is just the type of tools a personality uses to get their needed attention be it positive or negative energy. Negative attention (energy) is better than no attention (energy) at all.
Where do I find a support group? Thank you so much very helpful
Jessica Salas,hope you are not with a narc 🙄!
Thank you for the love and energy you put into each one of your talks. You have helped me so much! From South Africa.
That's so great to hear/read. ~MM
Hi Michael, happy holy days... hope you read this, and can perhaps help clear something up for me. I have recently just had things thrown into the air with understanding (what George Simon calls) character disturbance and all the spectrum of the different dysfunctions... Simon speaks about how the last 50 years of pop psychology has really had it backwards in understanding a lot of these kinds of personality malfunctions. In the victorian era (freud etc) it was very repressive obviously, and it was really understood that all these neuroses stem from repression, shame, judgment, unconscious wounding etc. This is still true in some cases. But what he has found is that for the extreme cases of personality dysfunction (heavier narcissists, psychopaths, etc.) its not that these people have unconscious wounding and that their personalities are defence mechanisms... its just literally that they think they ARE God, they ARE the centre of the universe, they are actually CONSCIOUS of their manipulative tactics (rather than unconsciously creating scenarios with a LACK OF awareness), and that their problem isn't the unconscious wounding... their problem is that they are just aggressive and will take advantage of everyone and everything to have their way... and we see some of these imbalanced behaviours encouraged in society, things like entitlement and "just DO IT" kinds of things. And the idea that all kids who are bullies are shame based wounded kids... not always true. Some are just aggressive, they have been given what the wanted all the time, they don't take responsibility, and they become the manipulators...
So it used to be in psychology "never judge", never attack character, because we need to hold space for people to feel safe to explore their wounding... but this does NOT WORK with the deeper narcissistic types. Their character NEEDS to be confronted in a DIRECT and no-nonsense way. The only thing that really works is... the creation of self awareness (or less egocentric awareness, perhaps) through CHANGING BEHAVIOUR, and to have really hardcore tough love boundaries with them. Its a completely different therapeutic methodology, which is why this problem is so rampant now too in the way that MOST therapists CANNOT deal with this problem because they have the COMPLETELY WRONG MINDSET; these assumptions about neurosis being the cause of all dysfunction (NOT true), carried over from the times of the Victorian age, where it was much more true. (And still true for some especially the more codependent types.)
Im really trying to rectify the problem from a metaphysical standpoint with this... I can see in myself when I have had dysfunctional patterns... for me it is definitely true that I was neurotic and had defence mechanisms and poor patterns as a consequence of deep wounding, abandonment, isolation etc... in THIS way, I can see the philosophy of "forgetting who you are [divine being]", developing healthy shame i.e. HUMILITY, etc.... Can you help me figure out how this 'forgetting' occurs within these more hardcore dysfunctional characters? The problem isn't their shame... its their LACK OF shame, or LACK OF humility. I used to think that of course they are just so ashamed that they have this compensation ego complex, but now it seems this is not the Truth about these really dark beings. I thought that only self doubt and toxic shame creates these egocentric shadows... can only ideas such as past life karma explain this? Organic portals? Ugh, such a minefield :(
Many thanks, Risa.
Well Risa...this is too huge of a topic to cover here but it's definitely accurate to say that modern psychology (like religion, medicine, etc.) is an institution that can--at best--only float around horizontally making its best guess at the issues within the human psyche. They can never really get to the truth of the matter because without God, you can't have truth. So it's just another intellectual facet of the world that is sadly missing the mark and having to then keep changing its theories. ~MM
Narcissists do not have a lack of shame, on the contrary, but I am not here to debate that. Therapists cannot deal with cluster B personality disorders for various reasons but we know more now that neuroscience is researching what in the brain is not working for people to lack empathy. Results show there is a lack of response from the amygdala. Maybe look into neuroscience for your answers :)
Maybe their souls have been hijacked. Maybe maternal stress while in the womb. Maybe epigenetics. Maybe all of the above. You're describing a psychopath btw. Completely lacking a conscience. Which all psychopaths are narcissists. Not all narcissists are psychopaths. Psychopathy used to be treated as a neurological or medical issue. Not a mental. But a narcissist is not conscious of their manipulation or deceit. Psychopaths on the other hand. Putin may be a great example of how calculated and cold he is. The world is their stage and the players in it are theirs too.
They lack the certain neurotransmitters that are necessary in order to bond with others.
There is such thing I believe as having cerebral empathy that isn't limbic or visceral, meaning, they are mentally capable of seeing your perspective, but with no emotions connected to it. They can think "oh how sad" but they can't feel that sadness.
Like autism and many other plagues, I believe the cause is multifaceted. Yet, I believe they all serve a greater purpose we just maybe cannot see from a third dimensional view.
Why is this something you must seek answers to?
Would like you to make a vid about controllers! 👍 Thanks!
69LOLIN Narcissists are also controllers.
-have you read "in Sheep's clothing
How to deal with manipulative people" George Simon, MD.
It is a game changer in many languages as so incredible. I believe that boom should be on the school reading curriculum to help safeguard from a young age. It teaches us so much and reverse a old Freudian ideas....ie that people don't know what they are doing!= putting ourselves very much at risk from psychopaths and other disordered individuals.
Yes please do a video on men who control wives by manipulation tactics?
All the women in my family would get really offended by weird things I did as a child and I just excepted it and it made me insecure and I would try to talk to them in different ways so they wouldn’t get mad I would try to talk differently to be excepted by the ones I loved to not be a bad child scared to be un loved. Nothing made me happy as a child I always wanted more things because nothing satisfied me. Later in life I feel as if Im not really here
Toxic family rarely knows they are toxic! It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to learn to love your self. Utube has a wealth of information on the subject of dysfunctional family..... Please learn as much as you can and heal then help others, your not alone.
That's probably why the dog ran away lol