How and Why Should I Forgive? ~ Q+A with Daizan
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2023
- Daizan answers a question from Deborah, a member of our community, about forgiveness. He explains how crucial it is as a part of the letting go process.
Zenways promotes and encourages activities and practices that enhance human wellbeing, balance and awakening (satori or kensho - the enlightenment of Zen) in the many different situations we find ourselves in. Over many years of strict training, in Japan and the west, Julian Daizan Skinner received dharma transmission and permission to teach in both the Rinzai and Soto lineages of Zen. He now teaches at the Yugagyo Dojo in London, UK. May these recordings help you and those around you to find and realise the truth.
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🙏 thank you Daizan Roshi. A wonderful discussion. 🙏
You're very welcome, Vince 🙏
Great video! But the five ways get annoying with repetition. Do I want to forgive you? Sure! But pls listen ❤
To forgive requires that you forget. Once an incident is recorded in your memory, it cannot be deleted. Nothing that you have experienced in your life ever escapes your memory. Because you cant bring it to mind, doesn't mean it's not there. For the sake of survival we repress memories, sometimes automatically (in cases of physical or emotional trauma). When a 70 year old smells a freshly opened box of Crayola's, he is instantly 5 years old and once again in the clutches of abuse. The sound of an explosion, the smell of burning flesh, the sight of blood, a song on the radio: cancel any perceived forgiveness. There is no such thing as forgiveness. Forgiveness is Devine. There is no such thing as Devine. Forgiveness is self delusion. One need not forgive to be able to forge through life. Once offense is given, trust will never be regained. The offence may be put aside, walked away from or even repressed. The offense is never forgotten. Never. We might decide that we were not truly offended for the sake of survival, but we're just fooling ourselves. Confront your offender. Take revenge if you can get away with it. Forgiveness is delusion for sale on You Tube for those who cannot accept reality.
Thanks for your perspective @fiberglass101. In our view forgiveness doesn't equate forgetting, and there can be deep value in cultivating that intention or energy behind forgiveness. Of course it can't be forced - it has to arise genuinely when our body-mind system is ready.
Thankyou for your reply