Sitting here, watching this in bed and my hubby looks over and says "he kind of looks like if Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman had a baby together, what their baby would look like" .... and now I can't unsee it. lol Great show btw!
We taught both of our kids about sex concepts. They asked us their questions, and we answered them matter of factly, with sincerity and great care. We made them comfortable about the information that answered their honest questions. It was a little clinical. When their fantastic sex ed/interpersonal relationships training started in 6th grade, my daughter got all the way to phase three, in 8th grade before she came up with a new question that we hadn't already covered at home. By this time, she was already gun shy around me because I was a shameless goofball. She knew I wouldn't pass up a chance to make a joke. So she hesitantly came to me with her sex question - admonishing me not to make a joke, and be completely serious, like the other times. I promised, and she asked, "Why don't condors always prevent pregnancy?" "Baby girl, Daddy's gonna need a minute to choose just the right words for this answer..." A couple minutes of Shao Lin master level mental Kung Fu later, I spoke up, "Well, I think you mean condoms, and it's because sometimes a condom will break and let the sperms get to a woman's eggs." She nodded, and kept side eying me. When she gave up and accepted my answer, I said, A condor is a large bird of prey. "However, if you stuff a condor into a woman, she will not get pregnant."
Condors, or new world vultures or cathartirdae, do prevent pregnacies, or as they call them ovipositions, just not all. Among their practices are: 1. Reproductive Timing and Frequency Low reproductive rate: Condors have a very low reproductive rate, typically laying only one egg every one to two years. This slow breeding cycle helps limit the number of offspring and can be influenced by the availability of resources. Delayed breeding: Condors usually reach sexual maturity later in life, often not breeding until they are around 6-8 years old. This delay naturally reduces the frequency of reproduction in the population. 2. Environmental Conditions Resource scarcity: When food sources are limited, condors may naturally delay breeding or skip a breeding cycle. This happens because they are unlikely to reproduce successfully in environments where food is scarce. Habitat stress: If the environment is not ideal, condors may not engage in mating at all. This helps conserve energy and prevents the birth of offspring that might not survive in harsh conditions. 3. Social Dynamics Pair bonding and breeding competition: Condors form long-term pair bonds, and not every individual will find a mate. If condors are unable to secure a strong pair bond or compete successfully for a mate, they will not reproduce. 4. Nest and Egg Management Selective nest locations: Condors are very selective about their nesting sites. If suitable nest sites are not available, they may refrain from laying eggs altogether. This is another natural control mechanism based on the availability of safe, secure nesting conditions. Brood reduction: Though rare, if a pair produces more than one egg or chick and resources are scarce, one chick may be neglected or not survive, effectively limiting the number of offspring. You should tell your children the truth. Not just assume you know what they mean. This leads to unwanted ovipositions and babies that will never learn to fly.
You are bringing light and truth to a certain group of people that relate to every view of your jokes. "Fuck 'em, [the offended]" hahaha. You are hilariously funny with truths. You are great, man! 🥰😆😎🤘🏽 Looking forward to typing in 'Nick Beaton comedian' into my search bar to see more of you, Sir. Much love to you!
Wow, what a lot of juicy material! This is common sense meets satire with a healthy serving of indignant normal. No argument here! 😆 Big thumbs up from 🇨🇦.
(I hate all the negative comments on here, so I'll just say something positive.) Out of the many great comedians that come out of Canada, this guy is trying his best...
As a multiracial trans woman and an atheist, I found these jokes and insights refreshing. And as an asexual, I just have to say the reason we are included on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum is because we are a sexual minority, and find community and support in the rest of the letters. I think this special was well-written, and a lot of the jokes, though crass, were hilarious and spot on. I am buying a No Hate and Anti-Racist sign asap. Stay funny!
Thanks so much! And yeah, I totally get why the A is included for the reasons you stated. But the joke was just right there ya know? Thanks again for watching and I’m glad you enjoyed the crass!
As a black woman born that way I thought he was funny until he started speaking on race! There is no reason why children need to know about adult sexuality to maybe high school or college. We definitely need to teach sex Ed! But when he started speaking on race he lost me as a black woman I like to know who the safe YT people are in this world because I’ve been put through some unsafe shit!
People being level-headed, awesome, self-deprecating (by proxy), and meaningful whilst stating a commentary/well-educated critique on a piece without blind rage or outright cancel their-ass energy? I'm at once impressed, & mildly turned on 😅 Thank you for being able to clarify your truth while being insanely intelligent enough to realize other's have their's, & even when wrong or misplaced, are well-intended. To stand up with no assurance you'll be agreed with only to try to make the world smile is a badass & very difficult task as well. But you commentors above 👆 are what keep the dream alive for the comics & those who love to see them do their thing without fear of honesty or "crossing a line". Keep it up amidst the Eeyore comment napalm buzzkillingtons out there ✊🙂↕️
Now you just can't find any good weed. All those scientists in their pockets, and they still can't grow the stuff I used to get. I'm very disappointed.
Flat earther conspiracy is weird. Thanks for sending me your special I enjoyed it. Was funny. The perfect appetizer for burgers.🍔 *cheers with hamburger* (lolz sorry im starvin for dinner right now we were supposed to eat two hours ago.) Lolz.☮💙🙂🚬😉
Every gruff voice sounds like Bruce McCulloch doing his middle age voice. And sounds like it'll be perfect on Kids in the Hall. And it was great to listen to, but also really distracting while working and guffawing around other office workers.
Three notes so far... "Lucille Balls", "Come for Candy", and fidget spoinners. Lucille Balls is possibly the greatest all-time historical drag queen name I've ever heard. "Come for Candy" better be the name of a punk band somewhere, or I'm leaving. Fidgit spinners put a brand new tone on a spin class. It's spin for a new generation.
Well said . Lol have you been stalking my posts 😉. I have posted the same comment several times over the years . Iv never had a single person respond to the comment when I made it . That’s why I’m responding to your post 😁👣🦘👍
Awesome set, Great performance. I'd love to have you as a guest on my podcast. If you are interested, my contact info is in my about section. Much Love and Aloha brother.
Awesome set, Nick. Got one for ya at @41:25, finish with, "who is now losing all her feathers and barfing up a mouse cuz she's so fucking stressed out." You're welcome. You have my blessing to delete this quote.
I have a security dog he does not emotionally support me indeed he does the opposite 😂 he aggrev8s me and he stresses me out. I could be diverge most of what this man says
Dog it’s Xennials!!! Get it straight. And frankly is a legit term bc of the way the internet blew up and accelerated between 1997 and 2003. Anyone born between 1980 and 1986 is a goddamn Xennial.
New Hampshire House Bill 1700: This bill establishes a regulatory process to prevent the intentional release of polluting emissions, including cloud seeding, weather modification, excessive electromagnetic radio frequency, and microwave radiation in New Hampshire's atmosphere
Conedian says hello to audience who left home for the night to not have to think about the BS happening in our country ...then says. everyone is political now .. and proceeds to talk about politics and progressively tell us how he feels about anything political . Republicans arent mad at your jokes ...but you should be. Lmao
![Dan Cummins: TRYING TO GET BETTER [FULL Comedy Standup Special]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/krQma_JwX98/mqdefault.jpg)
Rembrandt with punchlines and cadence. Nonstop hilarity for an hour straight. Looking forward to seeing more from this guy. 10/10.
Sitting here, watching this in bed and my hubby looks over and says "he kind of looks like if Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman had a baby together, what their baby would look like" .... and now I can't unsee it. lol
Great show btw!
I definitely had to take a second look on my tiny phone. "that's not Ryan's voice but what the hell!?" Lol
“If you’re not anxious you’re not paying attention “👏🏻👏🏻😆
Things must be getting bad. I don't think I've ever met an angry Canadian before.
We exist! But we catch a lot of shit up here.
😂
@@nickbeatoncomedy I love loved it! Thx!
Amazing show in Toronto tonight, will definitely be following you from here out. All the best with your career man!
Great stand up comedy special! Canadian comedians are top notch!
Great set! Best comic I've never heard of!! 🎉
Thank you!
Such a great special Nick!
His recalls throughout the set are fantastic 😂
Thank you! They are some of my favourite jokes to do.
You are going to have a successful career, your style is top tier. Very funny!
Thank you!
Great special! loved it.
Amazing comedian loved it
So funny. Very relatable. Must see for anyone in the “geriatric millennial” category. Especially if you’re also Canadian
Excellent - I'm only 15 mins in .... Outstanding!
This was🥇Gold. The lgbaj47+ bit was a cherry on top.
2SLGBTQIA+
Yo.. the legal
weed intro is so on point!!
Elmo on... stand your ground! 😂😂😂 loved the set
I’m glad you liked it!
Great special! Funny AF!
Good set. I enjoyed this!
I’m in line with every joke!
We taught both of our kids about sex concepts. They asked us their questions, and we answered them matter of factly, with sincerity and great care. We made them comfortable about the information that answered their honest questions. It was a little clinical.
When their fantastic sex ed/interpersonal relationships training started in 6th grade, my daughter got all the way to phase three, in 8th grade before she came up with a new question that we hadn't already covered at home.
By this time, she was already gun shy around me because I was a shameless goofball. She knew I wouldn't pass up a chance to make a joke. So she hesitantly came to me with her sex question - admonishing me not to make a joke, and be completely serious, like the other times. I promised, and she asked, "Why don't condors always prevent pregnancy?"
"Baby girl, Daddy's gonna need a minute to choose just the right words for this answer..."
A couple minutes of Shao Lin master level mental Kung Fu later, I spoke up, "Well, I think you mean condoms, and it's because sometimes a condom will break and let the sperms get to a woman's eggs." She nodded, and kept side eying me. When she gave up and accepted my answer, I said, A condor is a large bird of prey. "However, if you stuff a condor into a woman, she will not get pregnant."
Condors, or new world vultures or cathartirdae, do prevent pregnacies, or as they call them ovipositions, just not all. Among their practices are:
1. Reproductive Timing and Frequency
Low reproductive rate: Condors have a very low reproductive rate, typically laying only one egg every one to two years. This slow breeding cycle helps limit the number of offspring and can be influenced by the availability of resources.
Delayed breeding: Condors usually reach sexual maturity later in life, often not breeding until they are around 6-8 years old. This delay naturally reduces the frequency of reproduction in the population.
2. Environmental Conditions
Resource scarcity: When food sources are limited, condors may naturally delay breeding or skip a breeding cycle. This happens because they are unlikely to reproduce successfully in environments where food is scarce.
Habitat stress: If the environment is not ideal, condors may not engage in mating at all. This helps conserve energy and prevents the birth of offspring that might not survive in harsh conditions.
3. Social Dynamics
Pair bonding and breeding competition: Condors form long-term pair bonds, and not every individual will find a mate. If condors are unable to secure a strong pair bond or compete successfully for a mate, they will not reproduce.
4. Nest and Egg Management
Selective nest locations: Condors are very selective about their nesting sites. If suitable nest sites are not available, they may refrain from laying eggs altogether. This is another natural control mechanism based on the availability of safe, secure nesting conditions.
Brood reduction: Though rare, if a pair produces more than one egg or chick and resources are scarce, one chick may be neglected or not survive, effectively limiting the number of offspring.
You should tell your children the truth. Not just assume you know what they mean. This leads to unwanted ovipositions and babies that will never learn to fly.
Love it!! 👏👏👏
🔥🔥 this is dope
I didn’t think this was actually real from that other vid but now that I do, I’m subscribing 😂
Hilarious! Good job Nick!
Killed. Checking tour… thanks Nick!!!🎉😂❤
“K, does she know Excel? If you see her fucking… she’s gone!!!” omg😂
I'll get him to put up the sign obviously 😂
Make weed legal federally. There are still oppressed people all over America, still going to jail for racism and greed.
and lower state taxes on weed! its insanely expensive and borderline unaffordable some places where it is legal bc of the taxes ):
This is a Canadian comedian. It is legal in all.of Canada.
You are bringing light and truth to a certain group of people that relate to every view of your jokes. "Fuck 'em, [the offended]" hahaha.
You are hilariously funny with truths. You are great, man! 🥰😆😎🤘🏽
Looking forward to typing in 'Nick Beaton comedian' into my search bar to see more of you, Sir. Much love to you!
Great stuff!
Thanks you!
He looks like if Ryan Renolds and Paul Rudd had a baby
At least the baby Ryan Rudd aka The young Paul Renolds possess the funny bone unlike his parents.
No fuckin joke 😂🤣 That's fucking wild
Love your show keep speaking truths hun
Wow, what a lot of juicy material! This is common sense meets satire with a healthy serving of indignant normal. No argument here! 😆 Big thumbs up from 🇨🇦.
Loved it. My buddy Danny sent it over. I lol'd a lot. I missed the mark, I was born in 86' so you hate me 😂 great job. "Every hole I give them...
😂😂"
I don’t hate you! But I’m weary. ;)
@@nickbeatoncomedy I've met most of us so I totally understand. I was born in January of 86 so....could be a cusp situation
@@siddallizedpeople4327 I officially welcome you to the group!
Buahahahaha ❤love it! Belly laughing over here!
Thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked it!
Ya I gotta say this guy is great idk how I haven't heard him before...
Thank you! It’s my first special so you are just in time!
Thank you thank you thank you @@nickbeatoncomedy
(I hate all the negative comments on here, so I'll just say something positive.) Out of the many great comedians that come out of Canada, this guy is trying his best...
So good!
I’m glad you liked it!
Hell yeah
As a multiracial trans woman and an atheist, I found these jokes and insights refreshing. And as an asexual, I just have to say the reason we are included on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum is because we are a sexual minority, and find community and support in the rest of the letters. I think this special was well-written, and a lot of the jokes, though crass, were hilarious and spot on. I am buying a No Hate and Anti-Racist sign asap. Stay funny!
Thanks so much! And yeah, I totally get why the A is included for the reasons you stated. But the joke was just right there ya know? Thanks again for watching and I’m glad you enjoyed the crass!
As a black woman born that way I thought he was funny until he started speaking on race! There is no reason why children need to know about adult sexuality to maybe high school or college. We definitely need to teach sex Ed! But when he started speaking on race he lost me as a black woman I like to know who the safe YT people are in this world because I’ve been put through some unsafe shit!
Don’t get me wrong I love all kinds of racist jokes but not when it comes to the reality of racism.
People being level-headed, awesome, self-deprecating (by proxy), and meaningful whilst stating a commentary/well-educated critique on a piece without blind rage or outright cancel their-ass energy?
I'm at once impressed, & mildly turned on 😅
Thank you for being able to clarify your truth while being insanely intelligent enough to realize other's have their's, & even when wrong or misplaced, are well-intended.
To stand up with no assurance you'll be agreed with only to try to make the world smile is a badass & very difficult task as well.
But you commentors above 👆 are what keep the dream alive for the comics & those who love to see them do their thing without fear of honesty or "crossing a line".
Keep it up amidst the Eeyore comment napalm buzzkillingtons out there ✊🙂↕️
God loves you anyway!
Really funny, Nick!
Thank you so much!
Thats not pee, I'm dying
Nailed it 😂😂😂
Thank you!
Fabulous
This guy is good!!!
Now you just can't find any good weed. All those scientists in their pockets, and they still can't grow the stuff I used to get. I'm very disappointed.
They limit the strength and literally have to throw away anything that goes over lol
It's rare for an hour to be solid (usually a lot of weak material). Nice job
Thank you so much!
Saw this show live and laughed out loud the entire time 👌
Thanks for watching twice! :)
Flat earther conspiracy is weird. Thanks for sending me your special I enjoyed it. Was funny. The perfect appetizer for burgers.🍔 *cheers with hamburger* (lolz sorry im starvin for dinner right now we were supposed to eat two hours ago.) Lolz.☮💙🙂🚬😉
You are good bro!
Thank you so much! I appreciate it a lot!
Hilarious, just got a new fan.😊😂
As good an hour as any out there - killer job Nick and team!
Thanks Danny!
Funny stuff. If you close your eyes and listen his voice sounds exactly like Ed helms to me
Every gruff voice sounds like Bruce McCulloch doing his middle age voice. And sounds like it'll be perfect on Kids in the Hall. And it was great to listen to, but also really distracting while working and guffawing around other office workers.
Woooooo
Antiracism bit is solid
As a Boomer, your one of the only millennials that makes sense, even my daughter (whom I love very much)was born in 1987 is crazy as her mother
Good job on the special, I was about 8 minutes in before I realized this was a TED Talks on how to bomb for an hour.
Great insight.
Hilarious 😂
Thank you so much!
@@nickbeatoncomedyhonestly laughed out loud bc IT IS SO TRUE!! Excellent 😂
Pretty good pretty good
I think Disney should do a sequel to Beauty and the Beast called, "Beauty and the Beast - Stockholm's Syndrome".
Three notes so far...
"Lucille Balls", "Come for Candy", and fidget spoinners.
Lucille Balls is possibly the greatest all-time historical drag queen name I've ever heard.
"Come for Candy" better be the name of a punk band somewhere, or I'm leaving.
Fidgit spinners put a brand new tone on a spin class. It's spin for a new generation.
"Yes, and this is my emotional support hissing spider that is 5 pounds, and shoots poison darts off his body. He's a big sweetie!"
Flat earthers are the proof that the Dunning-Kruger effect is absolutely true
Well said . Lol have you been stalking my posts 😉. I have posted the same comment several times over the years . Iv never had a single person respond to the comment when I made it . That’s why I’m responding to your post 😁👣🦘👍
1990 baby here and I’m 34 dude lmao I am not like a “young millennial” at all 😂
killer!!!!
A lot of truth spoken in this routine
37:30 hahahaha yup
Great set 🤘
Pearl Harbor hamburgers😂
Let’s pitch the idea to Burger King!
As a homesexual, i was seriously trying not to get too excited by that last bit in front of my wife 😅
a 20 year overnight success
You lost me when you said 6 people in Ottawa said the honking was too loud.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thanks Janelle!
You're a letter now
The negative comments are unhappy people!
Awesome set, Great performance. I'd love to have you as a guest on my podcast. If you are interested, my contact info is in my about section. Much Love and Aloha brother.
If you take a close look at the human body and how intricate it is, that all by itself is proof of intelligent design.
Awesome set, Nick. Got one for ya at @41:25, finish with, "who is now losing all her feathers and barfing up a mouse cuz she's so fucking stressed out." You're welcome. You have my blessing to delete this quote.
half funny and half geriatric ;)
That's why they legalized Marijuana, so they can tax it
Yes. But where is it going?!
I have a security dog he does not emotionally support me indeed he does the opposite 😂 he aggrev8s me and he stresses me out. I could be diverge most of what this man says
🤣🤣🤣
Kia Sorrento
Dog it’s Xennials!!! Get it straight. And frankly is a legit term bc of the way the internet blew up and accelerated between 1997 and 2003. Anyone born between 1980 and 1986 is a goddamn Xennial.
🎉
Critical thinkers aren't conspiracy theorists. Morons question nothing.
Oh yay! Someone is finally talking about the virtually untouched generational material 😮
Back to grade 8 then
Dead right about the d.a. shows. We have plenty of evidence.
Every conspiracy theory I’ve said, read and believed in has come true. It’s not funny at all.
If you're offended by the truth, especially by a comedian, that's you're problem
Actually the problem is that little he said was true.
He isn't really funny. But on the other hand, What he says for the most part, makes a lot of
sense.
Ever heard of a pantomime?
It's really just LGB and T nothing else. It was just LGB. T kind of had their own thing. all the rest of the letters are "posers" lol
Where have you been all my life?
This special had me in stitches front to back. I know what rabbit hole I'm falling into for the next couple of hours.
It's called solar geo-engineering, btw. 😉But i wouldn't look into it, researching shit might turn you gay too..
Chem trails?! Googling will make me gay? Two sentences. Great punctuation. Lot to unpack.
Dude doesn't even know there's a difference between CONTRAILS and CHEMTRAILS. 🙄
New Hampshire House Bill 1700: This bill establishes a regulatory process to prevent the intentional release of polluting emissions, including cloud seeding, weather modification, excessive electromagnetic radio frequency, and microwave radiation in New Hampshire's atmosphere
Conedian says hello to audience who left home for the night to not have to think about the BS happening in our country ...then says. everyone is political now .. and proceeds to talk about politics and progressively tell us how he feels about anything political . Republicans arent mad at your jokes ...but you should be. Lmao
Not funny at all. He's a propagandist.