Bedroom Thoughts - Liontari

I wrote this rap half a year ago. I'm talking about my struggle to get on my own two feet for a long time now and how it makes you feel down but on the same side you're only to blame yourself. Still, if you hold onto God through that time, you can get through it.
Beat by Chuki Beats / chukimusic
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Sitting in my room, nothing in my hand
but a pen and my notes, my throat 's dry and
a sip of my bottle'o water no friend
to share it with but it's not the end
the beautiful water and all the sun on my skin
layin at the ocean, two cubes 'o ice swimming in
the breathy desert air, barely touching the ground
mojito in my hand, that's pretty sound
paint myself a world, look outside the frame
this is my charade, still inside the same
i fight the pain, while i try to gain
a name again, despite the shame
i change my position again and again
asking myself just when it began
be genuine, it was my resolution
but what did it bring me? - days of pollution
yeah it's the truth, maybe there's a clean spot in between
but all i really do is hanging here, lean - back
sitting on my butt, that's how i live
move the cursor, single, single, double click
i'm like a shiny iron saw, stainless and sharp
but with time every tool becomes rusty and hard
while i try to move, i know i have to wait
not a waste of time? Well that's for debate
i can go for a walk, all i wanna do is talk
have a silly discussion like is ed sheeran a fraud?
A punch on the shoulder, a pat on the back
all for nothing? best time i ever had!
I shamble through my room, my place to rule
here i am king - nobody's crule
you over there - come back here!
And you next to him - please come near!
Let me hear what you have to say, won't send you away
after years of listening i start to decay
you can see my sceleton with a beard
just like a cartoon isn't that weird?
My mind does what it wants when it's left alone
my heart once was of flesh, then it turned to stone
trying to revive it, i feel a vibe it
starts to beat again, but i try to hide it
the world really shouldn't see what i'm made of
i'm certain it couldn't bear, the crave for love
who would ever be able to meet expectations
if not him - the master of creation
even though i feel like a detainee
every day i pray and go on my knee
begging liberation and freedom in my heart
i need a revelation like a piece of art
i gotta be patient - awaiting salvation
how do i put me and you in relation?
Maybe i don't, maybe it's you
maybe that's a reason for a big celebration
but i'm sorry i forgot my hat, i'm way too sober
you throw me a saving rope, right over
it's covered in spikes and blades the same
it brings me freedom but also pain
well now that i remember i myself went down the rope
while my father really warned me, to go down this road
i didn't listen, and the snake lured me deeper in its cave
while sewing poison in the rope, spikes and blades
but i guess if i hold on to and i put on my gloves
it will be okay, i'll be with my boss
i'll take the loss for eternal win
focus on your goals and fight the sin
i'm sitting in my room, everything looks the same
just another day, i wake up in shame
just take me away, just wherever
i know i'll be stuck here, seems like forever
the days burning out, like a pack of cigarettes
i'm seeking the light, but so far i got silhouettes
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I'm Liontari Music and I'm producing music and beats. If you like my work, send me a message on my facebook page :) If you'd like to discuss any beat or production requests you can also text me there.
/ liontarimusic
/ user-405796566