I controlled my wife for 22 years before our marriage broke. I found Marriage Helper in late 2016. Today, my wife and I are reconciled for over 6 years. There is hope. "I didn't even realize I was doing this!" - GOLD! "She wants out and I have no idea why!" - Yes, this was me! "I have this lingering fear that he will go back..." - Yes, I heard this. "I needed to prove that I was different" - Yes, I had to work through this. Time, consistency, patience, vulnerability were all required for me. My wife watched me like a hawk as I re-learned how to be a spouse and let go of control. How can I identify if I'm being controlling? marriagehelper.com/controlling-not-realize-dr-joe-show-podcast/ - I scored 59/70 on the assessment here. WHY and HOW we control: marriagehelper.com/why-people-control-others-and-how-they-do-it/ See my story here: ua-cam.com/video/HG-LiyBpaL4/v-deo.html See Marriage Helper's Free Facebook Group here: facebook.com/groups/783603618395431/
I am married to a control freak. He has to have his say on EVERYTHING, I have no space to have of my own including he wants to be husband and wife such as when to grocery shop, what to buy, every and all furniture ,how to clean, laundry. Ect. I feel suffocated and it has caused a bad issue with my self esteem. I really resent him. Even though I have told him how much damage it’s causing he does not stop.
...and would you automatically pat a cute, fluffy dog? I think that maybe you could - a cute, fluffy dog that doesn't "look like" it could bite you... But...did you listen to the man who "doesn't look like controlling"?
I don’t agree with the woman will deal with controlling behaviour much longer than men. This has not been what I’ve seen or experienced. Sounds like male bashing?
@@zuzu7250 in hindsight it’s obvious that I let my insecurities run wild. I was incredibly suffocating. And yes she probably no longer likes me lol I wouldn’t have liked myself either.
@Infinitevanity there is always hope! I am a recovering controller and a Marriage Helper customer. Today I volunteer w/ Marriage Helper. My insecurities also drove my need to control. In my marriage, it started innocently enough with "I'm just trying to help" and gradually evolved. I likened it to two ships traveling parallel and then one differing course by a degree or two, the control in my marriage eventually led to us breaking. You can see my story here: ua-cam.com/video/HG-LiyBpaL4/v-deo.html Be sure to check out Marriage Helper's free Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/783603618395431/
I controlled my wife for 22 years before our marriage broke. I found Marriage Helper in late 2016. Today, my wife and I are reconciled for over 6 years. There is hope.
"I didn't even realize I was doing this!" - GOLD!
"She wants out and I have no idea why!" - Yes, this was me!
"I have this lingering fear that he will go back..." - Yes, I heard this.
"I needed to prove that I was different" - Yes, I had to work through this. Time, consistency, patience, vulnerability were all required for me.
My wife watched me like a hawk as I re-learned how to be a spouse and let go of control.
How can I identify if I'm being controlling? marriagehelper.com/controlling-not-realize-dr-joe-show-podcast/
- I scored 59/70 on the assessment here.
WHY and HOW we control: marriagehelper.com/why-people-control-others-and-how-they-do-it/
See my story here: ua-cam.com/video/HG-LiyBpaL4/v-deo.html
See Marriage Helper's Free Facebook Group here: facebook.com/groups/783603618395431/
I am married to a control freak. He has to have his say on EVERYTHING, I have no space to have of my own including he wants to be husband and wife such as when to grocery shop, what to buy, every and all furniture ,how to clean, laundry. Ect. I feel suffocated and it has caused a bad issue with my self esteem. I really resent him. Even though I have told him how much damage it’s causing he does not stop.
she luckily got best husban to marry.but for those whodon't?
Roald helped me during sessions. And it helped me tremendously. He allowed me to let go and let my husband go. It was a relief to me emotionally.
he doesn't look like controlling
...and would you automatically pat a cute, fluffy dog? I think that maybe you could - a cute, fluffy dog that doesn't "look like" it could bite you...
But...did you listen to the man who "doesn't look like controlling"?
I don’t agree with the woman will deal with controlling behaviour much longer than men. This has not been what I’ve seen or experienced. Sounds like male bashing?
Maybe this is a cultural thing? Being a black man my male family and friends are not controlling in their relationships.
I was the controlling one without even noticing and she says she’s done and that there is no hope for reconciliation.
sounds like she just doesn’t like you very much. She is just using that as an excuse.
@@zuzu7250 in hindsight it’s obvious that I let my insecurities run wild. I was incredibly suffocating. And yes she probably no longer likes me lol I wouldn’t have liked myself either.
@Infinitevanity there is always hope! I am a recovering controller and a Marriage Helper customer. Today I volunteer w/ Marriage Helper. My insecurities also drove my need to control. In my marriage, it started innocently enough with "I'm just trying to help" and gradually evolved. I likened it to two ships traveling parallel and then one differing course by a degree or two, the control in my marriage eventually led to us breaking. You can see my story here: ua-cam.com/video/HG-LiyBpaL4/v-deo.html
Be sure to check out Marriage Helper's free Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/783603618395431/