Thank you so much for sharing not only your art but also your fears. It is necessary to speak about those too because it is so easy (at least for me) to assume that every artist here on youtube is living the dream with making art and doing comission work. Everyone just shows the good side and now that I see you struggle like that I wonder how many in the community go through a similar situation.
I love your honesty in this video. I turned 29 this year and totally understand what you are feeling. If you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I truly and whole heartedly believe EVERY creative needs to read that book. It helped me re-evaluate how to think about creativity and my relationship with it. You are incredibly talented and the world needs your contribution
Thank you!! I've written down your suggestion and I'll definitely load on the ol' kindle! I'm so desperate for some good reads about creativity, so thank you!
Dear Julia, I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm turning 28 soon and I've been only doing this art thing for about a year and a half. In my previous life I was a psychologist and worked in the field for some time, but even though I liked what I was doing, I didn't love it. My heart was just not there. So after much debating with myself, I decided that I should be doing what I always dreamed of doing, which is art, without caring about what anyone else thinks I should be doing. Like having a "respectful" job (what is that anyway), a 9 to 5 program and blah blah blah, so much bleaaah. After all, ever since I was a kid I had this vision of myself as an adult painting on a canvas and bringing to life these amazing pieces of art. But somehow, on my way to that, I got sidetracked and ended up doing something else until now. And it's hard. And it will get you down and make you feel like crap about yourself, and make you doubt yourself, but as you were saying you can't imagine yourself doing something else. So, in the end, it is worth it!! Know that you are not alone! Your art is amazing and I'm always amazed by your paintings and your use of colors. You got skills, girl! And you're not selfish for choosing to follow this art path. You deserve your space in the Universe, so own it without feeling shame. Things will get better and I think it's totally possible to live a comfortable life while pursuing your art career. It just takes time. Things don't happen overnight. With perseverance, you will get where you want to be! And as my mom likes to say to me whenever I'm in a shitty place or I'm feeling overwhelmed or scared about the future, "You won't catch fish, if you're afraid of the water". Like others before me, I also recommend Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. And a podcast that helped me tremendously lately is Sara Tasker's podcast, Hashtag Authentic, which is made for creatives from all fields, but especially for women.
Subscribed to the podcast and downloaded the book! Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to tell me your story! Wow good for you for stepping away and doing what you love! That's so insanely brave! Well done! I hope it pays off for you soon, you're amazing! Also, I love the quote from your mum! xx
As someone who’s just finished high school and am trying to pursue a career in art, this was really inspiring for me. It’s really good to feel like I’m not alone in feeling like you’re wasting time, but knowing that if you keep pushing and pushing, things will get better. As an artist, there are times where I feel like it’ll take me nowhere, but to see someone like you being able to push through that really gives me hope. 😊😊😊
I never comment on youtube videos, but just as many other people have already commented- this really hits home. I break down constantly, especially at night when I am sleep deprived and everything is dead silent. I have two amazing parents who deserve to have their own house and live comfortably and I constantly beat myself up for not being in a position where I can financially take care of them yet. I love how open and honest you are being about this path because so many people think creatives have the fun and easy work but if anything I feel like we put ourselves through a massive amount of stress and anxiety. I think there is something extremely unique about your work and I definitely see you going far with it. I know its hard to keep going because a creative's path is never set in stone but I still feel like it's worth it to push through. Either way sending you lots of love, care and energy from one scared aritista to another
Jesus I connect so much with how you're feeling. I'm going through that currently. It's so rough trying to figure out the financial n the future, having kids etc etc. I just turned 31, I'm engaged & last year I left my job to go full time with my art. I feel the same I don't want to be rich or excessive I just want to be comfortable & able to provide for myself & my husband to be, our possible future kids.....ugh I wanna hug you. I feel you.
Don't be ashamed for feeling like this. It's interesting to see the opposite perspective than me. I went to University for art at first and then changed my major to English thinking it would be more lucrative. Now I'm regretting not following my dreams. Keep pushing. You're crazy talented and you will get to where you want to be. Be patient. You inspire me and a lot of people. 🌈🌞
cutie pie, have you considered patreon ? i guess it would add workload and it might not be wise to overwork yourself, so maybe a donation button on your website ? i'm saying this because i've searched for you on patreon yesterday, litterally. i don't have a regular income but i had an ok month so i was like "hey, i'd love to support zeke this month !", and now i see this video. fun coincidence. anyway, it's really good to see the reality of it all, it's oddly encouraging and motivating, actually. sending you much love, hang in there for as long as it stays healthy ! :*
Oh wow!! That's such a crazy coincidence! I asked my instagram peeps if that's something they'd be interested in and got a really good response! Definitely going to start one in the next week or two! You're honestly so sweet for thinking about me. Thank you!!!
i'd love to think and let you think that i'm being sweet, but the truth is your personality and all the colours you're using are doing the trick to keep my depression in check lately. so i'm basically bribing you to last as long as you possibly can, with the hope you'll actually thrive soon ! XD it would be a win-win, wouldn't it ? :D
Oh my goodness. Watching this really hit home with me. These are the same fears I have. Honestly if you are doing what you love then keep doing it and it will pay off! I work my butt off time and time again and it's so exhausting and I wonder where I'm going with my life. But I've decided to go in an artistic direction with my career now and it's terrifying. I barely know what I'm doing and I'm having to learn everything on my own since I didn't go to university. But I know I'll make it work eventually. I believe in you! Being doubtful and scared is normal but don't let it from stop you from what you love the most :)
You’re art is fabulous! Building a career and business takes time. I turned 29 last month and I’ve just recently started making a good living. But I dread it so much. Building the perfect combo of loving your work AND making decent money is incredibly difficult. You’re doing something a lot of us are too scared to attempt and I’m quite impressed tbh. I appreciate your honesty. Keep on zeekin’ :)
It sure does! Good for you for being able to make a decent living! The older I get the more proud I am to be seeing people around me do that for themselves. The balance is the hardest part! Thank you for your encouragement. :) xx
I feel like every artist feels this way every once in a while because art isn't the easy way but it's so rewarding , in my opinion, because people really like this unique work that comes from ur mind. Art is so important but people don't realise this. It doing a great job.
Thank you so much!! Yeh it's really hard sometimes, and I always feel so guilty having chosen this life. But art is so important!! We consume it every day and never appreciate it to it's full potential.
Zeke's Lunchbox !! As a young artist I'm still trying to figure out if I want to pursue art or not it helps to see vids like urs showing the ups and downs, showing what to expect and such xx
I know your not going to look at this because this is in 2018, but know that you are loved, you are not old, you are not wasting your time, it's not selfish to do what you love, but if it gets too much then maybe consider opening patron, or get a small side job, I know you can do it! you're amazing and talented and I feel like if you put your mind to it you can do whatever you want! much love going your way
Thank you for being so open and honest! I went full time as an illustrator/designer about 4 months ago and have the same doubts and fears on the daily, it seems. But you’re right - nothing else would feel right and we just have to keep pushing toward what we always wanted a year ago! You are amazing as an artist and an inspiration - keep going!! ❤️
Wow the honesty in this!! These are the things that terrorize our minds at night...us twenty somethings who struggle in the creative field ...who fear that by 30 we won’t have anything to show!!!!! The only thing that has been comforting me is that time isn’t linear it’s a circle! And there are so so many successful people who didn’t get their moment of success until much later in life! I’m rooting for you doll!
I think your emotions are the natural reaction to ongoing stress...financial stress is a killer. I am 45 and I have had many phases in life where a part-time job in retail carried me thru. Taking a job for regular income does not make you any less of an artist and it might help your art...it is hard to be at your creative best when you are crazy stressed out. Much love to you. Thanks for the honest video. XO
Keep it up girl, we all are here to support you, you are an amazing artist and the fact that even here (Caribbean) we know about you, means that you are doing what you need to do. 💕
i'm glad you shared the emotion part. i feel like every artist goes through that. your art is so mind blowing. the first time i saw something of yours, i was deeply in love. your work is so unique and you deserve so much more appreciation. your work does deserve to be known. i'm glad i know about your work and hope even more people find it because they would love all this art you do. you inspire me and i just hope you know that we'll be here whatever you decide to
Man, watching you cry made me cry a little bit. I love how raw this video was. Crying feels so good sometimes, even if it’s for not-so-good reasons. I can tell you’re such a hardworking beautiful soul. Plus, your art is out of this damn WORLD and you inspire me every day. I can’t wait until you create your patreon!!! 💕 You deserve all the support. We love you, Zeke.
This video is so validating, I honestly just found your channel with this video and I liked your art and spunk but when you started sharing your fears I fell in love. You're so down to earth and passionate, I hope you never stop creating and get what you need from your art financially and emotionally. I'm picking out some merch to buy when I get paid in a couple hours ♥
I completely know what you mean! it's good to have a cry about it, and no it's definitely not selfish to want to build a stable career that you love!! it's so scary to think about the future when nothing is really set in stone and you can't be sure when or even if things will go in the right direction, but I think your work is incredible and you clearly have such a good work ethic and mindset, whether you continue with just art or diversify or completely change your mind or whatever I'm sure that everything will work out for you 💞
You have no idea how much I relate to this. I'm actually the exact same age as you, and that struggle and that worry has been growing ever so constantly since I officially took a turn and decided to attempt at having an art career a year or two ago. I tried an unrelated career branch in university, and that creative "removal" or "denial" has reminded me of how much I needed art in my life, which makes this worry grow even stronger as I know how vital it is for me. I think you're doing great, and I think things come in waves and life-changing opportunities can never be predicted. I believe that your passion comes through whatever you put out, whether through vlogs or through your artwork, and I truly hope you will find that comfort sometime soon.
Don't stress yourself. I haven't transitioned full time into art but I worry about the same things like 'am I gonna make it'. Whenever I get like that I just remember that it'll happen in its own time and you just have to keep hustling. You got this
I want to give you a great big hug!!! It’s going to be ok! It will work itself out! And you are a role model for my own creative career! I hope that helps!! Go make your dreams come true! You can do it! And you can be so proud of yourself for how far you have already come!
You're doing a great job , just keep on pushing , sometimes you might feel like you're buried but actually you've been planted and the plant 🌱 hasn't surfaced yet , sending you lots of love and positive energy ✨
I feel ya girl. I'm going to be 36 next week and all I have wanted was to be an artist but I haven't even made a career of it yet. I haven't ever gotten my art out there. I agree with the not wanting to make alot of money. I just want to make enough money to pay the bills. Keep going! I hope things get better.
I’ve recently went full time as an artist and have had the exact same feelings as you. It’s so refreshing to see the bad stuff too and makes me feel like I’m not alone. It’s nice to see that today you’re still doing it. I don’t have a great support system with family. And I’m constantly being told it’s not a real job. I know this video was posted forever ago and no one will see my comment but this video has helped me so Thank you. ❤️
Sweety, your journey is amazing. I havent been subbed for too long but i see that you are learning and continue to grow and thats so true for an artist. Keep growing and never look back, we (ur fans and friends!) will be here for u if u need have low points. I am proud of u, even tho i dont know u personally. You inspire me (a 23 year old illustrator hoping to freelance in a few years), to work hard and keep learning. And I know beginner artists can learn a lot from your truths. Being an artist is difficult and im happy u are documenting the struggles. We're rooting for you Zeke!!
I think it's actually a good thing to show us this, because we pretty much always see artist's online that are only showing the good side of things if you know what I mean? We never see them struggle so we get to think that "wow it looks so easy!". But then you start to work on this career and see that it's not that easy at all and feel like you are probably doing this wrong, when actually, it is normal to be like this. So you showing your point of view and why you break down show us that it is normal to feel that way at some point in the career, because it's not true that everything goes perfectly when you start? Even if you have been doing this for a long time, sometime it can take years for an artist to be somewhere comfortable. But I think that the fact that you are making goals is actually very good and that should help you getting to a better place! You are a very talented artist, I'm sure things will work out well for you soon! Keep your head up and don't give up! ;)
Thank you so much! And yes, yes, yes!! I don't want this channel to be a highlight reel of just the good stuff! It's dishonest and I actually think the opposite of inspiring, so thank you so much!
Thank you for being so real about this. This year was the first year I started working full time with my art and the struggle IS real. Financially speaking, I've never been so stressed. I knew this route wouldn't be glamorous at all but crap, it's really rough. So thank you for laying this out. It's nice to know I'm not the only one going down this risky ass route.
Hey lovely I just watched this and wanted to thank you for your honesty and let you know that you're not alone. I'm in a very similar situation to you in that I studied something else at uni and then realised once I graduated that I just wanted to be making art the whole time. Now I'm 28 and I've been a self employed illustrator for about a year now and I have exactly the same worries and fears as you but it's worth remembering that you can fail at something you don't want to do you can work for a company that goes bankrupt or get made redundant. So if you can fail at something you don't want to do you may as well do the thing you love. Also you never really fail when you're your own boss you just stop plugging away at it. I just wanted you to know that even though I'm on the other side of the planet from you in the UK I completely empathise and I believe in us. We're gonna rock it and it's gonna be amazing. You should be proud of yourself because you're doing great :) lots of virtual hugs and mugs of tea (that's how we deal with trauma here) xx
Hey Dot, thank you so much for taking the time the write this! It means a lot! It’s been a little while since I felt like panic and dread but it’s always a good reminder to hear it from someone else!
@@juliarichart Thanks for replying. It's no problem really I think it's important for artists to support each other. Glad you're feeling in a better place now your work is amazing and so inspiring!
I also want you to know that I share your channel with everyone I know! You deserve so many more subscribers! You share so much valuable and priceless knowledge and information! I can’t wait to see you reach a higher count!
Ohhhh! Maybe it has something to do with the stars aligning? Haha I semi believe in that stuff but I have noticed around June/July I always feel really flustered and out of it!
I just want to say that you are an amazing artist and person and you should never feel guilty for expressing your thoughts and feelings. I think it is human nature to fear the uncertain things in life and doing what you’re doing can be uncertain at times.like you said in the last year you have made great strides , those progressions are a direct result of the work you have put in. The trick is to keep going and things will get better. Progress is made one step at a time. Thank you for your honesty.
I feel this so bad. Like, I’m working my dream job but I’m not making near enough money and it’s scary! I want to do what I love but I also want to be financially stable! It’s just hard sometimes and even the smallest moment of self doubt can make you feel like you’re falling and it just sucks
100% I guess it comes with the territory and you always have to ask yourself what your priorities are. I feel like things have turned around for me and the only solution I have is to just push through!
Also, Winter seems to be the time when depression/sadness/general gloominess hits hardest for people. Tell those Winter blues to p!ss off! Go kick some ass, girl! You're amazing. xx
Omg zeke... you’re sooooo talented and amazing. Your a person as all of us, and we all have so much struggles, the emotions are so overwhelming when you are a full time artist, you can’t quit because you can find yourself being so much more depressed when you quit, after you quit then you’ll realize that you could have gave so much more from yourself... it’s not only being sad because you don’t have money, and you don’t see the backlash from all the time and effort you putted into your work... is the fact that you CAN do hard shi#$ if you keep going you’ll see the way you’re going, it’s not about age it’s about growing yourself... you’re not going to fail. You are not waisting your time. You are following your dreams. keep your head down, and work because gurl it has work... push kween because u don’t realize how strong you are until you fell like you are going to give up but u keep pushing and realize that you are such an strong b.... and by the way that was an iconic break down...Trisha paytas who? Jajaja 😂
Omg Toni!!!! ILY so much!!!! Lol Trisha taught me well! hahahah I never want to quit! How can my gut be so wrong? It's all I know and I can never leave this life. Thank you so much for being so supportive.
Thank you for showing us those deep feels. I think it's great that you're gonna let yourself be honest on this channel. I feel like when you're in a creative profession, it is incredibly common to have those break downs and complete breaks of motivation, drive and passion. But the thing is, you always pick yourself up and keep on moving. You're talented as hell man!! And age is only a number! I keep trying to remind myself of that, even though I am turning 30 in a month or so. Some of the greatest artists in this world didn't reach their peak until they were much older. You've made some amazing strides and you're only 29!! There's no doubt that there's a helluva lot more positive in store for you in the future my dude! YOU GOT DIS GURL!
I absolutely love love love your work and I can relate to what you’re going through right now ❤️❤️ know that you’re not alone, many freelancers have been through the same thing. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it work out though I know it’s painful at times!! Much much love to you, big hugs and hang in there!! Have hope and faith in yourself and don’t give up! 💜💜💜💐🌷I’m in Melbourne also if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me. Please know you’re not being selfish at all, you’re giving the world a beautiful precious gift that inspires people! 💖💖
Darling, it will get better. If you keep on working hard, there is no way you will fail. That being said, it is okay to feel scared sometimes. It is okay to feel seriously anxious sometimes. This is your body telling you it needs some rest and some self love. Don't forget to take care of you, while taking care of everything else. You cannot pour out of an empty cup... I know this sounds cliche, and its probably something you know, but try to focus on the things that are good. The silver linings. The more you focus on the positive things, the more positive there will be. (but you know that) We love you so much, and we will be right beside you on your path to greatness, even through the dark times... ❤❤
Oh my, I related to this SO MUCH. I'm 32 and just graduated from a university with an art major. I have been looking for full time jobs since March and have heard absolutely nothing. In the days, I look for jobs and at night I create art. I was just saying to my husband, "WHY did I go back to school? I disrupted our balance." I feel like it may have been a bad choice to study art, but I am in love with it. Thank you so much for sharing this. ***ALL THE HUGS!!***
Thank you!! You are so brave!! Well done!! Seriously that's incredible. You're amazing and you went back to school because you knew it was right! That's honestly awesome. You're going to kill it soon. x
Ohhh!!! I’m going to sub to the poddy right now! It’s 100% a learned skill and I feel like I just needed a good reality check/cry haha! Thank you so much for your recommendation and words of encouragement! They mean so much! ☺️💕💕💕
Oh little girl I would like to hug you so much! It is so heartbreaking to see you cry :( I've been following your channel for a couple months now and I can not be more thankful for what you are doing, you are such an inspirational young lady and artist as well! I can understand why you feel you might wasting your time trying to achive your dreams, because I'm in a similiar situation now as an artist who's just finished the university and not sure about the future. But hey! Never give up! Your art is just way too beautiful to not to share it with the world! I wish you all the best! Thank you for all the incredible and emotional art pieces! Love you so much
I totally understand, I am 19 and I'm posting art on instagram just as a hobby because I don't feel like I am good enough to make a career in art and that people won't like my work. I've been following you for like two moths but you are already one of my favourite artist, you have such a unique style, your paintings are so original and surreal, I don't think a lot of people can do the things that you do, so don't ever give up and keep going on doing what you love 💙 And I don't even know if this will make you feel better, but just so you know you have a fan from México 😂😂😂
Thank you so much! Definitely keep pushing with your work because it’s as good as the time you put into it! Thank you so much for watching my videos and taking time to comment. That means a lot!!
dude, i know how you feel , i have been there(i'm still there) but , to be successful at something, anything, we have to put time and a lot of effort , more than we expect , nothing is easy in life , maybe that's why we miss being a kid without worries more than do your homework XD. The point is , you are doing it , and slowly but surely you are making your name visible in the industry , I have a long road to go too, and i'm just starting , hopefully one day our paths will cross and we can do something amazing to shut those thoughts up
I've found your channel today and I am SO grateful youtube recommended it to me. I absolutely love your work and I find it so inspiring. I am 18 years old and I can't tell you anything really about how to act, that's a decision you have to make for yourself. The only thing I feel like telling you is that as a creative person myself and as an inspiring artist I know what it feels to struggle between wanting to have art a successful career and financial stability. I want you to know that a lot of artists feel the same, that you are not alone and that your art will be there for you no matter what and no matter which decision you make, because you ARE your art! You are not being selfish, you are being yourself and I think it takes quite a bit of courage. I really love your art, I hope my words make sense and that they made you feel a little bit better, or at least made you smile ! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your talent with all of us
It is al ways on your Breaking Point where you have a breakthrough. Just never give up , you definitely have what it takes to make it in this industry.
This is so scarily relatable, I break down at least once a month too, and the financial side is a never ending battle of stress. But you are doing so much that is good and things will happen just keep pushing. Xxx
I'm very glad my partner is a creative person as well, and I can always talk to him. So many times I start doubting about everything. These cycles are normal. Your art is AMAZING. It really is, I don't say it to "make you happy". I follow your art and it AMAZES me. At the moment, I barley have time for art, next year, I want to do it full-time. And yes, it's scary as f*ck. You really inspire me. You put so many hard work in your art, in yourself. It is something you love. It is always worth it. These breakdowns are part of it. Just let it all out. Some days are better than others. KEEP GOING!! ❤️
I can't believe I didn't see this video earlier. But I love your honesty. I feel the same way. Art is something I really love but it's not a "stable" career. Art is my passion and if I can't do that what else am I gonna do and it can really suck lol but you're an amazing artist I see nothing but great things coming your way 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
That intro was lit. I feel you on such a huge level. Listen, I know I'm just a "viewer" or whatever, but your artwork is phenomenal. Your aesthetic is phenomenal. Your personality is gorgeous, and your creativity is beyond anything else I've seen in Australia. I'm in a similar position, even though I haven't even started putting my artwork out there yet. Just keep pluggin' away at it. Make some goals, smash some goals, and keep the creativity train moving. I 1000000% believe in you. You can make this happen. If you need to slow down, take a break, try something new, go for it. But I genuinely believe your artwork is at such a level that if more people could see it, more people would be in love with it. It's just time. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!
Omg this made me feel so not alone!! I went full time for 6 months but art wasn’t quite there and now am working 52 hrs a week and was expecting to get done what I would have got done being full time ( so unrealistic) completely burnt out the last few weeks but am feeling good again and set up my printing/ computer room testers which made me feel great! You can do it !! Love your channel and your honesty 🙌❤️
Zeke's Lunchbox I don’t know if you follow Garvy Vaynerchuck but he honestly is great, when I am feeling impatient or wishing I was further than I am, he puts it into perspective 🙌
You are too young! Keep fighting to reach your goals, your work is amazing it’s like a different world and love coming to you tube and watch your new videos. There are days like that dreams are not always easy to come true sometimes it’s needed to take a breath maybe? Anyways! Cheers girl! You can do it!!!
Girl, your artwork is amazing and you're doing great! Please keep going! It is terrifying being freelance, I know. I am freelance too so I know how disheartening and unstable it can be. Every fear you named I have too but i think your hard work will pay off in the end. I know you said you don't want pity and its not, I just want to keep seeing your art!❤❤❤❤ keep going!!❤❤❤❤
My dude... I am in the same boat although I have just started embarking back into art. I am turning 30 years old in the beginning of 2019 - I work in a minimum wage job, finally moving into a townhouse for the first time with my brother (which many people think is weird but we live very separate lives) and I have a show with another girl in the end of November. It has been years getting back into art as college squashed a lot of ambition out of me accompanied by my clinical anxiety. I feel similarly in wanting to afford more things in life, finally own a house and have a modest art career BUT entrepreneurial adventures depend on failure to succeed. It is like that quote, “it took [this amount of years] to become a success over night.” I feel your day will come as your artwork is very interesting, yet relatable. Also, to add I just started the second piece for the show today... and I had months to work on it. I am a mess.
Aw mate you can do eeeet!!!! But I totally get it, it sucks we equate our age where we should be in life. It feels really unfair because we're all so different and to all have the same expectations of what stage we should be at is ridiculous. That being said, the expectation is still there! Anyway, at least you're doing it now (go you!) and you gotta take it day by day. Hope it works out! Good luck on the show!
Hugs to you! I love your work. I think you are beyond amazing and you are doing it!! I watch an artist on twitch who does live streams on there and its a way for her to make so much more money than just her art/teaching or doing yt vids. I watch her twitch live streams 3x a week. I just thought I'd mention it. You are soooo super talented, art is what you are meant to be doing for sure.
You are SUCH a talented artist J ♥ I've always been too scared to go at it full time... and you are super brave to follow your heart and passion.Your video touched me so so much and i can relate so much to this - the struggle of 'should I / shouldn't I"> I also have friends that are full time artists and I know the inconsistencies with finances and such but you are NOT making bad decisions. If art makes you happy then you are doing the right thing but if you feel like you can't anymore, that it's causing anxiety or heartbreak, then you can't break yourself my friend. You need to find (for yourself) when the time has come to find something more stable and perhaps do this on the side. Never give up on your talent and dreams ♥ There are so so many people who love and support you ♥ always remember that xx Sending you light, love and hugs from South Africa
Thank you so much Annie!!! It's so hard but I knew what I signed up for! Gotta keep pushing and you're so right. I never want to look back and say I should have done it. :) Thanks for taking the time to comment! x
This video may be a couple years old but I saw it for the first time today, as a creative who is in the beginning terror of starting a business for my work, I carry those fears as well, especially the selfish one, and like am I a complete dumdum for choosing to make 0 money at this point in my life ?! Thank you for representing the stuggling artist moments we all have, it means soooo much to find other kindred-spirits. ALSO, congratulations on not giving up, you just smashed your kickstarter campaign! Fucking inspiring 💫
I know I'm late watching this video, and i've seen your more recent videos too. I want to say that this hit home for me because I've been struggling on the idea of quitting my day job to go full time in Illustration and Graphic Design. I know I can do it, I've set goals for myself planned out my schedule and recently started to put more content out there. It's the fear of having money thats stopping me, because i don't have much of an audience. This made me realize that it's all a journey, no matter where you are there will be tears and nothing will be perfect, but that I just have to continue what I'm doing and take a leap of faith. Thank you for inspiring me and thank you for sharing. Your channel and content really means a lot to me and I've learned so much.
What I've learnt the most is to stop trying to convince a wide audience of your value and work. Engage with clients you already have worked with and treat them well, same goes for your audience! The hardest part is sticking with it. There are some intense highs and lows but sticking on the same track is honestly the best way to go. Good luck!! If I can do it, you can too!
It's honestly the best! I heard a psychologist say we should cry a little bit everyday, haha I thought it was ridiculous but maybe there's truth in it?
yes! i discovered my love for crying when i couldn't cry for a month straight so i just felt uncomfortable for the entire time lol i would watch sad videos bc i was so desperate for the cry
I understand, I mean everyone here supporting you understand how you feel, and believe me it will pass away, it's totally normal what are you feeling and you just need to express it as much as you need to keep going but please DON'T GIVE UP, any asshole who ever think that you can not work in this industry because you're old and have not that much experience is one in a millon, your art is incredible and super unique, what you've done it belongs to you and that talent you own makes you different and better so don't give up because even if it looks hard you must understand that nothing in this world you can get for free, and it's telling you this someone (me) who had a difficult time for so long trying to find her career, I'm 22 and I've been in 3 careers that I quit because it wasn't what I want it for my life, and it really sucks because I feel like no one believes in me anymore and I get so insecure about my future than sometimes I can't handle it but I always think that the pain and the bad feelings will go away, nothing of that is permanent but YOU ARE so listen to me: Don't give a f*ck about it and do it for YOURSELF, if you work hard you will get it so let the afraid behind and be brave because the journey just begun ✌💜 sending love from Argentina 🇦🇷
I can’t express enough how much I appreciate you for posting this. I’m currently working full-time as a temp in the engineering field and I know that it’s nowhere near what I want to be doing in the long run. I want to have a creative job but I have to build the confidence and work ethic. I just turned 24 and I’m so scared. Once my work assignment ends, I have no clue where I’m gonna go next. All I know is that I want to do something with my art. I don’t want to work in a cubicle for 8hrs everyday for the rest of my life. Ever since I graduated hs, I have been working different jobs just to stay afloat. although I’m making more than enough to support myself now, I’m scared shitless to lose that stability. but I’m tired of the rat race and I just want to say fuck it and focus on my artistic dreams. my fear is that I have been and will waste my 20’s being too pussy to go after it. I commend you for being so brave and taking this path. truly inspiring. I believe in you and sending you lots of love. 💞💕
It’s perfectly normal to feel scared and want that stability BUT I do feel like you’re at that perfect now or never moment, which is great! It’s going to be scary, but that’s ok! Definitely stay positive but be realistic too. Life is too short and I know you have the strength to be brave and honest with yourself. ☺️💕💕
I know this was a while ago and I hope that you've gotten past it and are in a better place now but I felt like I should comment just incase you're still feeling unsure about everything. This was heart breaking because I could relate. I understand the frustration of working on something an not seeing it grow at the speed you'd like so that you can survive off of it. Unfortunately I gave up and stopped focusing on my dream and started focusing on my nine to five (which is nice, don't get me wrong) But even though I live a fairly comfortable life I would give most of it up if I could live off of my personal work. I'm taking things the slow way because I'm overly cautious but I envy you. I only discovered you recently but I enjoy your content and look forward to seeing more of your work. I think you deserve more followers and I hope your channel and business continues to grow. Good Luck with everything, I'm sending lots of love and good vibes in your direction.
Don't feel selfish because your feelings matter the most not anyone else's we love you so much! you are a huge inspiration to me and everyone , it always good to cry. I love having a good old cry. byeeee love yah your bom.com!!!!!!!
The reason why you are exhausted & drained is because you are doing creative work, plus the work of many assistants.. if you had people to delegate work to, it would be a real energy & time saver. When I was 30, I attempted to be a multi tasking artist/ designer/ promoter/ curator / director/ artist coach.. / business admin/ party hostess / public figure plus wife, mom, daughter, sister, auntie, niece, etc. etc.. I held up my end for 10 years..until there were some medical issues.. and then I picked up again for a bit, and finally after 20 years, I had to let go... or die. I chose to let go .. ~ These days I live moderately & everything is easy & calm. I don’t PUSH myself or anybody else. That takes too much energy, & the push back ( karma ) will bring you to your knees every time. ~ On another point, I see where you shine like a diamond 💎 Would you like to know what I see ? 🌚 You are excellent in presentation, using technology, videography, hair & make up. You would probably do very well on a film shoot, for print work, or film work. You probably could make money as a free lance videographer. You could explore teaching what you know, like studio set up for graphic designers.. ( consultant / ) There is money to be made from these kind of jobs. ~ It does require a lot of traveling around, carrying equipment & stuff like that. ~ Most “ art “WORK” does .. you have to have strength & stamina to keep up the pace. It’s not easy. It’s never easy. ~ Some people get to be mega famous, & can afford a whole team of people. But, that doesn’t mean your struggle is over. There are all kinds of problems involved with hired help .. Even well paid assistants can fuck up & be irresponsible ! . As for trying to beat a time line for marriage & kids ? Well, Johanna Basford, a very famous designer, who is popular for her nature designs used in the coloring book trade, also feels the crunch .. of having to do UA-cam presentations/ demonstrations, in addition to being a wife & a mom to 3 young children & housepets. She also has to come up with new design ideas.. for future projects. And her agents & publicists are pushing her to be more public ( ie.. present more videos ) At the end of the day, person can only do so much. 🌸 Art is good when it’s for fun.🌈 If you try to force it to be the thing that brings you cash, it can turn around & be your down fall 🌪 Make your top priority, yourself 👒👛🦄 Much love 💫
Omg chill out girl! Same age + same Dreams, you're not old and definately not wasting your time! And btw better broke and proud, than having money and work for jerks.. And not being able to buy stupid fast fashion clothes is OK, you dont need stupid consumer stuff to be happy! Love and respect :***
I just wanted to say thank you for the honesty, and how much this video really did hit a bit too close to home for me (especially recently). I just graduated from a Creative Writing degree only a couple of months ago, and just trying to find any work related to my field and trying to justify it to everyone else, esp my parents, who don't quite understand the "Arts" in general is nothing short of exhausting and I definitely can relate to that question: is this all worth it? I'd love to have a home, family and all that other stuff (esp financial security) but not have to give up a passion just to make ends meet. But please know that it is perfectly okay to have moments like this, and continue what you're doing now (you definitely have my support). Consider a subscribe from me. :) **internet hugs**
Damn Girl :/ I felt like i was hearing myself lol. Good Vibes. Your a really awesome artist, you should deff try patreon $$ Donations would help & SKILLSHARE TRY & GET ON That !! Dont let That evil anxiety get to u. stinker lol !!! Keep Going ! You Got This :) I beleive in you Girl!
Girl, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I suggest you alter some of your video titles for better discoverability. I’ve been watching art videos for years nonstop and I now just found your channel. The content you’re providing is amazing, I was both shocked I hadn’t found you sooner and that you only have 10K followers. Your titles are a very big deal, as are thumbnail pictures. Try doing challenges or following some trends on UA-cam. I know you probably aren’t up for that, but it could be something you enjoy doing and if it’ll allow you the possibility to make art your career without struggling financially you should take certain steps to get there.
Also maybe listen to boobie chues book he said that if u are trying ur best and facing alot of challenges that just means fates testing u to see if ur worthy of the end result so don't give up
I love your work and I believe you are doing it good from what I can see in your videos :) I turned 29 a couple of months ago and I am still struggling to live from my art, so I completely understand how you feel. I agree with Jennifer Liwanag, "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert is such a great book and I guess you can relate a lot with what she writes. You can check her TED talk (Success, Failure and the Drive to Keep Creating), it's short but still very inspiring: www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_success_failure_and_the_drive_to_keep_creating#t-413100 Then, the podcast "Don't Keep Your Day Job" by Cathy Heller is a good resource as well because there are several interviews with creatives following their dreams and working smart towards the life they want and their craft and making an income from it: www.dontkeepyourdayjob.com/ I knew about this podcast in an episode of another podcast called "Being Boss", where the podcasters interviewed Cathy and she tells her story, which is again very inspiring, this is the episode 174: beingboss.club/podcast/episode-174-figure-it-out-cathy-heller Sorry if this was too much, but I hope you feel better. Thank you for your honesty, for your art and for your videos. Sending you hugs and positive energy from Ecuador :)
I completely understand what you’re going through ( even though I’m at the beginning stages of self employment), I have a shit following and it’s just so hard getting followers and people interested in your work. And that’s suuuuuch bullshit when all you wanna do is create and inspire other people and make others happy. But I definitely think you can make it, you’re stuff is so damn cool and if nothing else I’ll always be cheering you on! If you ever need to rant or rave girl you got me 😩❤️ being a creative in this world is so hard man and it’s always gonna be overwhelming because we don’t have the respect we should but ce la vie baby P.s the studios looking grand ☺️
Thank you so much for sharing not only your art but also your fears. It is necessary to speak about those too because it is so easy (at least for me) to assume that every artist here on youtube is living the dream with making art and doing comission work. Everyone just shows the good side and now that I see you struggle like that I wonder how many in the community go through a similar situation.
100%!! Definitely why I wanted to show this. Thank you! :) x
I love your honesty in this video. I turned 29 this year and totally understand what you are feeling. If you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I truly and whole heartedly believe EVERY creative needs to read that book. It helped me re-evaluate how to think about creativity and my relationship with it. You are incredibly talented and the world needs your contribution
Thank you!! I've written down your suggestion and I'll definitely load on the ol' kindle! I'm so desperate for some good reads about creativity, so thank you!
I really appreciate your honesty. Thank you for this video it was the thing I needed to hear right now.
It's so comforting to know that you can relate!! Thank you
Dear Julia,
I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm turning 28 soon and I've been only doing this art thing for about a year and a half. In my previous life I was a psychologist and worked in the field for some time, but even though I liked what I was doing, I didn't love it. My heart was just not there. So after much debating with myself, I decided that I should be doing what I always dreamed of doing, which is art, without caring about what anyone else thinks I should be doing. Like having a "respectful" job (what is that anyway), a 9 to 5 program and blah blah blah, so much bleaaah. After all, ever since I was a kid I had this vision of myself as an adult painting on a canvas and bringing to life these amazing pieces of art. But somehow, on my way to that, I got sidetracked and ended up doing something else until now.
And it's hard. And it will get you down and make you feel like crap about yourself, and make you doubt yourself, but as you were saying you can't imagine yourself doing something else. So, in the end, it is worth it!! Know that you are not alone! Your art is amazing and I'm always amazed by your paintings and your use of colors. You got skills, girl! And you're not selfish for choosing to follow this art path. You deserve your space in the Universe, so own it without feeling shame. Things will get better and I think it's totally possible to live a comfortable life while pursuing your art career. It just takes time. Things don't happen overnight. With perseverance, you will get where you want to be! And as my mom likes to say to me whenever I'm in a shitty place or I'm feeling overwhelmed or scared about the future, "You won't catch fish, if you're afraid of the water".
Like others before me, I also recommend Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. And a podcast that helped me tremendously lately is Sara Tasker's podcast, Hashtag Authentic, which is made for creatives from all fields, but especially for women.
Subscribed to the podcast and downloaded the book! Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to tell me your story! Wow good for you for stepping away and doing what you love! That's so insanely brave! Well done! I hope it pays off for you soon, you're amazing! Also, I love the quote from your mum! xx
As someone who’s just finished high school and am trying to pursue a career in art, this was really inspiring for me. It’s really good to feel like I’m not alone in feeling like you’re wasting time, but knowing that if you keep pushing and pushing, things will get better. As an artist, there are times where I feel like it’ll take me nowhere, but to see someone like you being able to push through that really gives me hope. 😊😊😊
I never comment on youtube videos, but just as many other people have already commented- this really hits home. I break down constantly, especially at night when I am sleep deprived and everything is dead silent. I have two amazing parents who deserve to have their own house and live comfortably and I constantly beat myself up for not being in a position where I can financially take care of them yet. I love how open and honest you are being about this path because so many people think creatives have the fun and easy work but if anything I feel like we put ourselves through a massive amount of stress and anxiety. I think there is something extremely unique about your work and I definitely see you going far with it. I know its hard to keep going because a creative's path is never set in stone but I still feel like it's worth it to push through. Either way sending you lots of love, care and energy from one scared aritista to another
Jesus I connect so much with how you're feeling. I'm going through that currently. It's so rough trying to figure out the financial n the future, having kids etc etc. I just turned 31, I'm engaged & last year I left my job to go full time with my art. I feel the same I don't want to be rich or excessive I just want to be comfortable & able to provide for myself & my husband to be, our possible future kids.....ugh I wanna hug you. I feel you.
Don't be ashamed for feeling like this. It's interesting to see the opposite perspective than me. I went to University for art at first and then changed my major to English thinking it would be more lucrative. Now I'm regretting not following my dreams. Keep pushing. You're crazy talented and you will get to where you want to be. Be patient. You inspire me and a lot of people. 🌈🌞
cutie pie, have you considered patreon ? i guess it would add workload and it might not be wise to overwork yourself, so maybe a donation button on your website ? i'm saying this because i've searched for you on patreon yesterday, litterally. i don't have a regular income but i had an ok month so i was like "hey, i'd love to support zeke this month !", and now i see this video. fun coincidence. anyway, it's really good to see the reality of it all, it's oddly encouraging and motivating, actually. sending you much love, hang in there for as long as it stays healthy ! :*
Oh wow!! That's such a crazy coincidence! I asked my instagram peeps if that's something they'd be interested in and got a really good response! Definitely going to start one in the next week or two! You're honestly so sweet for thinking about me. Thank you!!!
i'd love to think and let you think that i'm being sweet, but the truth is your personality and all the colours you're using are doing the trick to keep my depression in check lately. so i'm basically bribing you to last as long as you possibly can, with the hope you'll actually thrive soon ! XD it would be a win-win, wouldn't it ? :D
Oh my goodness. Watching this really hit home with me. These are the same fears I have. Honestly if you are doing what you love then keep doing it and it will pay off! I work my butt off time and time again and it's so exhausting and I wonder where I'm going with my life. But I've decided to go in an artistic direction with my career now and it's terrifying. I barely know what I'm doing and I'm having to learn everything on my own since I didn't go to university. But I know I'll make it work eventually. I believe in you! Being doubtful and scared is normal but don't let it from stop you from what you love the most :)
You’re art is fabulous! Building a career and business takes time. I turned 29 last month and I’ve just recently started making a good living. But I dread it so much. Building the perfect combo of loving your work AND making decent money is incredibly difficult. You’re doing something a lot of us are too scared to attempt and I’m quite impressed tbh.
I appreciate your honesty. Keep on zeekin’ :)
It sure does! Good for you for being able to make a decent living! The older I get the more proud I am to be seeing people around me do that for themselves. The balance is the hardest part! Thank you for your encouragement. :) xx
I feel like every artist feels this way every once in a while because art isn't the easy way but it's so rewarding , in my opinion, because people really like this unique work that comes from ur mind. Art is so important but people don't realise this. It doing a great job.
Thank you so much!! Yeh it's really hard sometimes, and I always feel so guilty having chosen this life. But art is so important!! We consume it every day and never appreciate it to it's full potential.
Zeke's Lunchbox !! As a young artist I'm still trying to figure out if I want to pursue art or not it helps to see vids like urs showing the ups and downs, showing what to expect and such xx
I know your not going to look at this because this is in 2018, but know that you are loved, you are not old, you are not wasting your time, it's not selfish to do what you love, but if it gets too much then maybe consider opening patron, or get a small side job, I know you can do it! you're amazing and talented and I feel like if you put your mind to it you can do whatever you want! much love going your way
You're not wasting your time. You've got so much talent to offer to the world, keep it up!!! It will pay off
Thank you for being so open and honest! I went full time as an illustrator/designer about 4 months ago and have the same doubts and fears on the daily, it seems. But you’re right - nothing else would feel right and we just have to keep pushing toward what we always wanted a year ago! You are amazing as an artist and an inspiration - keep going!! ❤️
Wow the honesty in this!! These are the things that terrorize our minds at night...us twenty somethings who struggle in the creative field ...who fear that by 30 we won’t have anything to show!!!!! The only thing that has been comforting me is that time isn’t linear it’s a circle! And there are so so many successful people who didn’t get their moment of success until much later in life! I’m rooting for you doll!
I think your emotions are the natural reaction to ongoing stress...financial stress is a killer. I am 45 and I have had many phases in life where a part-time job in retail carried me thru. Taking a job for regular income does not make you any less of an artist and it might help your art...it is hard to be at your creative best when you are crazy stressed out. Much love to you. Thanks for the honest video. XO
Keep it up girl, we all are here to support you, you are an amazing artist and the fact that even here (Caribbean) we know about you, means that you are doing what you need to do. 💕
i'm glad you shared the emotion part. i feel like every artist goes through that. your art is so mind blowing. the first time i saw something of yours, i was deeply in love. your work is so unique and you deserve so much more appreciation. your work does deserve to be known. i'm glad i know about your work and hope even more people find it because they would love all this art you do. you inspire me and i just hope you know that we'll be here whatever you decide to
Thank you! Thank you so much for that realness and honesty. I'm so glad you haven't given up and I hope you continue to pursue your art career.
Man, watching you cry made me cry a little bit. I love how raw this video was. Crying feels so good sometimes, even if it’s for not-so-good reasons. I can tell you’re such a hardworking beautiful soul. Plus, your art is out of this damn WORLD and you inspire me every day. I can’t wait until you create your patreon!!! 💕 You deserve all the support. We love you, Zeke.
Sabrina, you are a damn cutie! Thank you so much for being really sweet.
Stay strong! You started it already, you just gotta keep on going. I love your art btw its so beautiful😫😫😫😫😫💕
This video is so validating, I honestly just found your channel with this video and I liked your art and spunk but when you started sharing your fears I fell in love. You're so down to earth and passionate, I hope you never stop creating and get what you need from your art financially and emotionally. I'm picking out some merch to buy when I get paid in a couple hours ♥
I completely know what you mean! it's good to have a cry about it, and no it's definitely not selfish to want to build a stable career that you love!! it's so scary to think about the future when nothing is really set in stone and you can't be sure when or even if things will go in the right direction, but I think your work is incredible and you clearly have such a good work ethic and mindset, whether you continue with just art or diversify or completely change your mind or whatever I'm sure that everything will work out for you 💞
Thank you so much Sarah!! 😫💕💕
You have no idea how much I relate to this. I'm actually the exact same age as you, and that struggle and that worry has been growing ever so constantly since I officially took a turn and decided to attempt at having an art career a year or two ago. I tried an unrelated career branch in university, and that creative "removal" or "denial" has reminded me of how much I needed art in my life, which makes this worry grow even stronger as I know how vital it is for me. I think you're doing great, and I think things come in waves and life-changing opportunities can never be predicted. I believe that your passion comes through whatever you put out, whether through vlogs or through your artwork, and I truly hope you will find that comfort sometime soon.
Don't stress yourself. I haven't transitioned full time into art but I worry about the same things like 'am I gonna make it'. Whenever I get like that I just remember that it'll happen in its own time and you just have to keep hustling. You got this
I want to give you a great big hug!!! It’s going to be ok! It will work itself out! And you are a role model for my own creative career! I hope that helps!! Go make your dreams come true! You can do it! And you can be so proud of yourself for how far you have already come!
That means so much!! Thank you!
You're doing a great job , just keep on pushing , sometimes you might feel like you're buried but actually you've been planted and the plant 🌱 hasn't surfaced yet , sending you lots of love and positive energy ✨
I feel ya girl. I'm going to be 36 next week and all I have wanted was to be an artist but I haven't even made a career of it yet. I haven't ever gotten my art out there. I agree with the not wanting to make alot of money. I just want to make enough money to pay the bills. Keep going! I hope things get better.
I’ve recently went full time as an artist and have had the exact same feelings as you. It’s so refreshing to see the bad stuff too and makes me feel like I’m not alone. It’s nice to see that today you’re still doing it. I don’t have a great support system with family. And I’m constantly being told it’s not a real job. I know this video was posted forever ago and no one will see my comment but this video has helped me so Thank you. ❤️
Not giving up is the key! Keep it up.
Sweety, your journey is amazing. I havent been subbed for too long but i see that you are learning and continue to grow and thats so true for an artist. Keep growing and never look back, we (ur fans and friends!) will be here for u if u need have low points. I am proud of u, even tho i dont know u personally. You inspire me (a 23 year old illustrator hoping to freelance in a few years), to work hard and keep learning. And I know beginner artists can learn a lot from your truths. Being an artist is difficult and im happy u are documenting the struggles. We're rooting for you Zeke!!
I think it's actually a good thing to show us this, because we pretty much always see artist's online that are only showing the good side of things if you know what I mean? We never see them struggle so we get to think that "wow it looks so easy!".
But then you start to work on this career and see that it's not that easy at all and feel like you are probably doing this wrong, when actually, it is normal to be like this. So you showing your point of view and why you break down show us that it is normal to feel that way at some point in the career, because it's not true that everything goes perfectly when you start? Even if you have been doing this for a long time, sometime it can take years for an artist to be somewhere comfortable. But I think that the fact that you are making goals is actually very good and that should help you getting to a better place! You are a very talented artist, I'm sure things will work out well for you soon! Keep your head up and don't give up! ;)
Thank you so much! And yes, yes, yes!! I don't want this channel to be a highlight reel of just the good stuff! It's dishonest and I actually think the opposite of inspiring, so thank you so much!
Thank you for being so real about this. This year was the first year I started working full time with my art and the struggle IS real. Financially speaking, I've never been so stressed. I knew this route wouldn't be glamorous at all but crap, it's really rough. So thank you for laying this out. It's nice to know I'm not the only one going down this risky ass route.
You're never alone and at least now you can say you DID IT! Go you! I know you're going to kill it.
Hey lovely I just watched this and wanted to thank you for your honesty and let you know that you're not alone. I'm in a very similar situation to you in that I studied something else at uni and then realised once I graduated that I just wanted to be making art the whole time. Now I'm 28 and I've been a self employed illustrator for about a year now and I have exactly the same worries and fears as you but it's worth remembering that you can fail at something you don't want to do you can work for a company that goes bankrupt or get made redundant. So if you can fail at something you don't want to do you may as well do the thing you love. Also you never really fail when you're your own boss you just stop plugging away at it. I just wanted you to know that even though I'm on the other side of the planet from you in the UK I completely empathise and I believe in us. We're gonna rock it and it's gonna be amazing. You should be proud of yourself because you're doing great :) lots of virtual hugs and mugs of tea (that's how we deal with trauma here) xx
Hey Dot, thank you so much for taking the time the write this! It means a lot! It’s been a little while since I felt like panic and dread but it’s always a good reminder to hear it from someone else!
@@juliarichart Thanks for replying. It's no problem really I think it's important for artists to support each other. Glad you're feeling in a better place now your work is amazing and so inspiring!
I also want you to know that I share your channel with everyone I know! You deserve so many more subscribers! You share so much valuable and priceless knowledge and information! I can’t wait to see you reach a higher count!
Oh my gosh!!! Thank you so much!!!
Your art is so unique, bright, and colorful. Keep going! You can do it!
Thank you!!
This video has the most perfect timing. I've been feeling this way lately.
Ohhhh! Maybe it has something to do with the stars aligning? Haha I semi believe in that stuff but I have noticed around June/July I always feel really flustered and out of it!
I hope you come out on top sooner than later!!
I love this video :)
I just want to say that you are an amazing artist and person and you should never feel guilty for expressing your thoughts and feelings. I think it is human nature to fear the uncertain things in life and doing what you’re doing can be uncertain at times.like you said in the last year you have made great strides , those progressions are a direct result of the work you have put in. The trick is to keep going and things will get better. Progress is made one step at a time. Thank you for your honesty.
Yes!! One step at a time, I need to keep remembering that!
I feel this so bad. Like, I’m working my dream job but I’m not making near enough money and it’s scary! I want to do what I love but I also want to be financially stable! It’s just hard sometimes and even the smallest moment of self doubt can make you feel like you’re falling and it just sucks
100% I guess it comes with the territory and you always have to ask yourself what your priorities are. I feel like things have turned around for me and the only solution I have is to just push through!
Also, Winter seems to be the time when depression/sadness/general gloominess hits hardest for people. Tell those Winter blues to p!ss off! Go kick some ass, girl! You're amazing. xx
Omg zeke... you’re sooooo talented and amazing. Your a person as all of us, and we all have so much struggles, the emotions are so overwhelming when you are a full time artist, you can’t quit because you can find yourself being so much more depressed when you quit, after you quit then you’ll realize that you could have gave so much more from yourself... it’s not only being sad because you don’t have money, and you don’t see the backlash from all the time and effort you putted into your work... is the fact that you CAN do hard shi#$ if you keep going you’ll see the way you’re going, it’s not about age it’s about growing yourself... you’re not going to fail. You are not waisting your time. You are following your dreams. keep your head down, and work because gurl it has work... push kween because u don’t realize how strong you are until you fell like you are going to give up but u keep pushing and realize that you are such an strong b....
and by the way that was an iconic break down...Trisha paytas who? Jajaja 😂
Omg Toni!!!! ILY so much!!!! Lol Trisha taught me well! hahahah I never want to quit! How can my gut be so wrong? It's all I know and I can never leave this life. Thank you so much for being so supportive.
Thank you for showing us those deep feels. I think it's great that you're gonna let yourself be honest on this channel. I feel like when you're in a creative profession, it is incredibly common to have those break downs and complete breaks of motivation, drive and passion. But the thing is, you always pick yourself up and keep on moving. You're talented as hell man!!
And age is only a number! I keep trying to remind myself of that, even though I am turning 30 in a month or so. Some of the greatest artists in this world didn't reach their peak until they were much older. You've made some amazing strides and you're only 29!! There's no doubt that there's a helluva lot more positive in store for you in the future my dude! YOU GOT DIS GURL!
Yes yes yes!! Thank you! I'm so excited for the future! :)) xxx
I absolutely love love love your work and I can relate to what you’re going through right now ❤️❤️ know that you’re not alone, many freelancers have been through the same thing. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it work out though I know it’s painful at times!! Much much love to you, big hugs and hang in there!! Have hope and faith in yourself and don’t give up! 💜💜💜💐🌷I’m in Melbourne also if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me. Please know you’re not being selfish at all, you’re giving the world a beautiful precious gift that inspires people! 💖💖
Thank you so much hun!! That means so much! x
Darling, it will get better. If you keep on working hard, there is no way you will fail. That being said, it is okay to feel scared sometimes. It is okay to feel seriously anxious sometimes. This is your body telling you it needs some rest and some self love. Don't forget to take care of you, while taking care of everything else. You cannot pour out of an empty cup... I know this sounds cliche, and its probably something you know, but try to focus on the things that are good. The silver linings. The more you focus on the positive things, the more positive there will be. (but you know that) We love you so much, and we will be right beside you on your path to greatness, even through the dark times... ❤❤
Oh my, I related to this SO MUCH. I'm 32 and just graduated from a university with an art major. I have been looking for full time jobs since March and have heard absolutely nothing. In the days, I look for jobs and at night I create art. I was just saying to my husband, "WHY did I go back to school? I disrupted our balance." I feel like it may have been a bad choice to study art, but I am in love with it. Thank you so much for sharing this. ***ALL THE HUGS!!***
Thank you!! You are so brave!! Well done!! Seriously that's incredible. You're amazing and you went back to school because you knew it was right! That's honestly awesome. You're going to kill it soon. x
You're AMAZING!!! I'm so happy I found this channel. Please please please pretty please never ever stop making art
Ohhh!!! I’m going to sub to the poddy right now! It’s 100% a learned skill and I feel like I just needed a good reality check/cry haha! Thank you so much for your recommendation and words of encouragement! They mean so much! ☺️💕💕💕
Oh little girl I would like to hug you so much! It is so heartbreaking to see you cry :( I've been following your channel for a couple months now and I can not be more thankful for what you are doing, you are such an inspirational young lady and artist as well! I can understand why you feel you might wasting your time trying to achive your dreams, because I'm in a similiar situation now as an artist who's just finished the university and not sure about the future. But hey! Never give up! Your art is just way too beautiful to not to share it with the world! I wish you all the best! Thank you for all the incredible and emotional art pieces! Love you so much
I totally understand, I am 19 and I'm posting art on instagram just as a hobby because I don't feel like I am good enough to make a career in art and that people won't like my work. I've been following you for like two moths but you are already one of my favourite artist, you have such a unique style, your paintings are so original and surreal, I don't think a lot of people can do the things that you do, so don't ever give up and keep going on doing what you love 💙
And I don't even know if this will make you feel better, but just so you know you have a fan from México 😂😂😂
Thank you so much! Definitely keep pushing with your work because it’s as good as the time you put into it! Thank you so much for watching my videos and taking time to comment. That means a lot!!
dude, i know how you feel , i have been there(i'm still there) but , to be successful at something, anything, we have to put time and a lot of effort , more than we expect , nothing is easy in life , maybe that's why we miss being a kid without worries more than do your homework XD. The point is , you are doing it , and slowly but surely you are making your name visible in the industry , I have a long road to go too, and i'm just starting , hopefully one day our paths will cross and we can do something amazing to shut those thoughts up
I love that! Yep patience and determination! Hope we cross paths too! < 3 x
I've found your channel today and I am SO grateful youtube recommended it to me. I absolutely love your work and I find it so inspiring. I am 18 years old and I can't tell you anything really about how to act, that's a decision you have to make for yourself. The only thing I feel like telling you is that as a creative person myself and as an inspiring artist I know what it feels to struggle between wanting to have art a successful career and financial stability. I want you to know that a lot of artists feel the same, that you are not alone and that your art will be there for you no matter what and no matter which decision you make, because you ARE your art! You are not being selfish, you are being yourself and I think it takes quite a bit of courage.
I really love your art, I hope my words make sense and that they made you feel a little bit better, or at least made you smile !
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your talent with all of us
It is al ways on your Breaking Point where you have a breakthrough. Just never give up , you definitely have what it takes to make it in this industry.
Yes! yes yes yes! I need to seriously always remember this!
This is so scarily relatable, I break down at least once a month too, and the financial side is a never ending battle of stress. But you are doing so much that is good and things will happen just keep pushing. Xxx
Thank you honey! Gotta keep pushing! We gonna kill it soon! x
I'm very glad my partner is a creative person as well, and I can always talk to him. So many times I start doubting about everything.
These cycles are normal. Your art is AMAZING. It really is, I don't say it to "make you happy". I follow your art and it AMAZES me. At the moment, I barley have time for art, next year, I want to do it full-time. And yes, it's scary as f*ck. You really inspire me. You put so many hard work in your art, in yourself. It is something you love. It is always worth it.
These breakdowns are part of it. Just let it all out. Some days are better than others. KEEP GOING!! ❤️
Yes!! Thank you Sara! xxx
I can't believe I didn't see this video earlier. But I love your honesty. I feel the same way. Art is something I really love but it's not a "stable" career. Art is my passion and if I can't do that what else am I gonna do and it can really suck lol but you're an amazing artist I see nothing but great things coming your way 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Thank you!! It's definitely hard but if it means that much to you try and see it through. Also, art is a lifelong passion so never give up on it.
That intro was lit. I feel you on such a huge level. Listen, I know I'm just a "viewer" or whatever, but your artwork is phenomenal. Your aesthetic is phenomenal. Your personality is gorgeous, and your creativity is beyond anything else I've seen in Australia. I'm in a similar position, even though I haven't even started putting my artwork out there yet. Just keep pluggin' away at it. Make some goals, smash some goals, and keep the creativity train moving. I 1000000% believe in you. You can make this happen. If you need to slow down, take a break, try something new, go for it. But I genuinely believe your artwork is at such a level that if more people could see it, more people would be in love with it. It's just time. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!
Omg this made me feel so not alone!! I went full time for 6 months but art wasn’t quite there and now am working 52 hrs a week and was expecting to get done what I would have got done being full time ( so unrealistic) completely burnt out the last few weeks but am feeling good again and set up my printing/ computer room testers which made me feel great! You can do it !! Love your channel and your honesty 🙌❤️
Go you!! It's so hard but definitely worth it for the small wins. :)
Zeke's Lunchbox I don’t know if you follow Garvy Vaynerchuck but he honestly is great, when I am feeling impatient or wishing I was further than I am, he puts it into perspective 🙌
You are too young! Keep fighting to reach your goals, your work is amazing it’s like a different world and love coming to you tube and watch your new videos. There are days like that dreams are not always easy to come true sometimes it’s needed to take a breath maybe? Anyways! Cheers girl! You can do it!!!
Girl, your artwork is amazing and you're doing great! Please keep going! It is terrifying being freelance, I know. I am freelance too so I know how disheartening and unstable it can be. Every fear you named I have too but i think your hard work will pay off in the end. I know you said you don't want pity and its not, I just want to keep seeing your art!❤❤❤❤ keep going!!❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much, seriously! It's so nice hearing other people relate and I'm not alone! Thank you! xx
My dude... I am in the same boat although I have just started embarking back into art. I am turning 30 years old in the beginning of 2019 - I work in a minimum wage job, finally moving into a townhouse for the first time with my brother (which many people think is weird but we live very separate lives) and I have a show with another girl in the end of November. It has been years getting back into art as college squashed a lot of ambition out of me accompanied by my clinical anxiety. I feel similarly in wanting to afford more things in life, finally own a house and have a modest art career BUT entrepreneurial adventures depend on failure to succeed. It is like that quote, “it took [this amount of years] to become a success over night.” I feel your day will come as your artwork is very interesting, yet relatable.
Also, to add I just started the second piece for the show today... and I had months to work on it. I am a mess.
Aw mate you can do eeeet!!!! But I totally get it, it sucks we equate our age where we should be in life. It feels really unfair because we're all so different and to all have the same expectations of what stage we should be at is ridiculous. That being said, the expectation is still there! Anyway, at least you're doing it now (go you!) and you gotta take it day by day. Hope it works out! Good luck on the show!
Hugs to you! I love your work. I think you are beyond amazing and you are doing it!! I watch an artist on twitch who does live streams on there and its a way for her to make so much more money than just her art/teaching or doing yt vids. I watch her twitch live streams 3x a week. I just thought I'd mention it. You are soooo super talented, art is what you are meant to be doing for sure.
Ohhh I've been looking into that! That's cool to know you watch them. Thank you! x
This is so relatable 🙌
You are SUCH a talented artist J ♥ I've always been too scared to go at it full time... and you are super brave to follow your heart and passion.Your video touched me so so much and i can relate so much to this - the struggle of 'should I / shouldn't I">
I also have friends that are full time artists and I know the inconsistencies with finances and such but you are NOT making bad decisions. If art makes you happy then you are doing the right thing but if you feel like you can't anymore, that it's causing anxiety or heartbreak, then you can't break yourself my friend. You need to find (for yourself) when the time has come to find something more stable and perhaps do this on the side. Never give up on your talent and dreams ♥ There are so so many people who love and support you ♥ always remember that xx Sending you light, love and hugs from South Africa
Thank you so much Annie!!! It's so hard but I knew what I signed up for! Gotta keep pushing and you're so right. I never want to look back and say I should have done it. :) Thanks for taking the time to comment! x
This video may be a couple years old but I saw it for the first time today, as a creative who is in the beginning terror of starting a business for my work, I carry those fears as well, especially the selfish one, and like am I a complete dumdum for choosing to make 0 money at this point in my life ?! Thank you for representing the stuggling artist moments we all have, it means soooo much to find other kindred-spirits.
ALSO, congratulations on not giving up, you just smashed your kickstarter campaign! Fucking inspiring 💫
Thank you so much for commenting this. Feels really timely now, fast forward to today. I guess the lesson really is to persevere!
I needed this i have been feeling like that and i keep crying i feel so helpless
I know I'm late watching this video, and i've seen your more recent videos too. I want to say that this hit home for me because I've been struggling on the idea of quitting my day job to go full time in Illustration and Graphic Design. I know I can do it, I've set goals for myself planned out my schedule and recently started to put more content out there. It's the fear of having money thats stopping me, because i don't have much of an audience. This made me realize that it's all a journey, no matter where you are there will be tears and nothing will be perfect, but that I just have to continue what I'm doing and take a leap of faith. Thank you for inspiring me and thank you for sharing. Your channel and content really means a lot to me and I've learned so much.
What I've learnt the most is to stop trying to convince a wide audience of your value and work. Engage with clients you already have worked with and treat them well, same goes for your audience! The hardest part is sticking with it. There are some intense highs and lows but sticking on the same track is honestly the best way to go. Good luck!! If I can do it, you can too!
i feelthis, i also love me a good cry
It's honestly the best! I heard a psychologist say we should cry a little bit everyday, haha I thought it was ridiculous but maybe there's truth in it?
yes! i discovered my love for crying when i couldn't cry for a month straight so i just felt uncomfortable for the entire time lol i would watch sad videos bc i was so desperate for the cry
Maybe this is my new hobby? :D I'm into this!
Just found your channel and I really like your content. Just keep going. :)
Thanks for watching and joining the crew! :) x
I understand, I mean everyone here supporting you understand how you feel, and believe me it will pass away, it's totally normal what are you feeling and you just need to express it as much as you need to keep going but please DON'T GIVE UP, any asshole who ever think that you can not work in this industry because you're old and have not that much experience is one in a millon, your art is incredible and super unique, what you've done it belongs to you and that talent you own makes you different and better so don't give up because even if it looks hard you must understand that nothing in this world you can get for free, and it's telling you this someone (me) who had a difficult time for so long trying to find her career, I'm 22 and I've been in 3 careers that I quit because it wasn't what I want it for my life, and it really sucks because I feel like no one believes in me anymore and I get so insecure about my future than sometimes I can't handle it but I always think that the pain and the bad feelings will go away, nothing of that is permanent but YOU ARE so listen to me: Don't give a f*ck about it and do it for YOURSELF, if you work hard you will get it so let the afraid behind and be brave because the journey just begun ✌💜 sending love from Argentina 🇦🇷
Also, I feel as though breakdowns come before breakthroughs so maybe you're about to level up!😂
Yessss! THIS IS A MOOD!!
I can’t express enough how much I appreciate you for posting this. I’m currently working full-time as a temp in the engineering field and I know that it’s nowhere near what I want to be doing in the long run. I want to have a creative job but I have to build the confidence and work ethic. I just turned 24 and I’m so scared. Once my work assignment ends, I have no clue where I’m gonna go next. All I know is that I want to do something with my art. I don’t want to work in a cubicle for 8hrs everyday for the rest of my life. Ever since I graduated hs, I have been working different jobs just to stay afloat. although I’m making more than enough to support myself now, I’m scared shitless to lose that stability. but I’m tired of the rat race and I just want to say fuck it and focus on my artistic dreams. my fear is that I have been and will waste my 20’s being too pussy to go after it. I commend you for being so brave and taking this path. truly inspiring. I believe in you and sending you lots of love. 💞💕
It’s perfectly normal to feel scared and want that stability BUT I do feel like you’re at that perfect now or never moment, which is great! It’s going to be scary, but that’s ok! Definitely stay positive but be realistic too. Life is too short and I know you have the strength to be brave and honest with yourself. ☺️💕💕
I know this was a while ago and I hope that you've gotten past it and are in a better place now but I felt like I should comment just incase you're still feeling unsure about everything. This was heart breaking because I could relate. I understand the frustration of working on something an not seeing it grow at the speed you'd like so that you can survive off of it. Unfortunately I gave up and stopped focusing on my dream and started focusing on my nine to five (which is nice, don't get me wrong) But even though I live a fairly comfortable life I would give most of it up if I could live off of my personal work.
I'm taking things the slow way because I'm overly cautious but I envy you. I only discovered you recently but I enjoy your content and look forward to seeing more of your work. I think you deserve more followers and I hope your channel and business continues to grow. Good Luck with everything, I'm sending lots of love and good vibes in your direction.
Don't feel selfish because your feelings matter the most not anyone else's we love you so much! you are a huge inspiration to me and everyone , it always good to cry. I love having a good old cry. byeeee love yah your bom.com!!!!!!!
I love saying bom.com! 😂 thank you so much!!! Imma keep going! 😩💕💕
Your a queen✨🌱
The reason why you are exhausted & drained is because you are doing creative work, plus the work of many assistants.. if you had people to delegate work to, it would be a real energy & time saver. When I was 30, I attempted to be a multi tasking artist/ designer/ promoter/ curator / director/ artist coach.. / business admin/ party hostess / public figure plus wife, mom, daughter, sister, auntie, niece, etc. etc.. I held up my end for 10 years..until there were some medical issues.. and then I picked up again for a bit, and finally after 20 years, I had to let go... or die. I chose to let go .. ~ These days I live moderately & everything is easy & calm. I don’t PUSH myself or anybody else. That takes too much energy, & the push back ( karma ) will bring you to your knees every time.
~ On another point, I see where you shine like a diamond 💎 Would you like to know what I see ? 🌚 You are excellent in presentation, using technology, videography, hair & make up. You would probably do very well on a film shoot, for print work, or film work. You probably could make money as a free lance videographer. You could explore teaching what you know, like studio set up for graphic designers.. ( consultant / ) There is money to be made from these kind of jobs. ~ It does require a lot of traveling around, carrying equipment & stuff like that. ~ Most “ art “WORK” does .. you have to have strength & stamina to keep up the pace. It’s not easy. It’s never easy. ~ Some people get to be mega famous, & can afford a whole team of people. But, that doesn’t mean your struggle is over. There are all kinds of problems involved with hired help .. Even well paid assistants can fuck up & be irresponsible ! . As for trying to beat a time line for marriage & kids ? Well, Johanna Basford, a very famous designer, who is popular for her nature designs used in the coloring book trade, also feels the crunch .. of having to do UA-cam presentations/ demonstrations, in addition to being a wife & a mom to 3 young children & housepets. She also has to come up with new design ideas.. for future projects. And her agents & publicists are pushing her to be more public ( ie.. present more videos ) At the end of the day, person can only do so much. 🌸 Art is good when it’s for fun.🌈 If you try to force it to be the thing that brings you cash, it can turn around & be your down fall 🌪 Make your top priority, yourself 👒👛🦄 Much love 💫
Omg chill out girl! Same age + same Dreams, you're not old and definately not wasting your time! And btw better broke and proud, than having money and work for jerks.. And not being able to buy stupid fast fashion clothes is OK, you dont need stupid consumer stuff to be happy! Love and respect :***
I just wanted to say thank you for the honesty, and how much this video really did hit a bit too close to home for me (especially recently). I just graduated from a Creative Writing degree only a couple of months ago, and just trying to find any work related to my field and trying to justify it to everyone else, esp my parents, who don't quite understand the "Arts" in general is nothing short of exhausting and I definitely can relate to that question: is this all worth it? I'd love to have a home, family and all that other stuff (esp financial security) but not have to give up a passion just to make ends meet. But please know that it is perfectly okay to have moments like this, and continue what you're doing now (you definitely have my support). Consider a subscribe from me. :) **internet hugs**
Damn Girl :/ I felt like i was hearing myself lol. Good Vibes. Your a really awesome artist, you should deff try patreon $$ Donations would help & SKILLSHARE TRY & GET ON That !! Dont let That evil anxiety get to u. stinker lol !!! Keep Going ! You Got This :) I beleive in you Girl!
Girl, I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I suggest you alter some of your video titles for better discoverability. I’ve been watching art videos for years nonstop and I now just found your channel. The content you’re providing is amazing, I was both shocked I hadn’t found you sooner and that you only have 10K followers. Your titles are a very big deal, as are thumbnail pictures. Try doing challenges or following some trends on UA-cam. I know you probably aren’t up for that, but it could be something you enjoy doing and if it’ll allow you the possibility to make art your career without struggling financially you should take certain steps to get there.
Totally! I don't disagree and have been meaning to do more videos like that but I also want to focus on making good art as well so that comes first.
Also maybe listen to boobie chues book he said that if u are trying ur best and facing alot of challenges that just means fates testing u to see if ur worthy of the end result so don't give up
i love ur channel but i found this vlog hard to watch bcz the camera kept moving..
Sorry! I'll remember that for next time. :)
I love your work and I believe you are doing it good from what I can see in your videos :) I turned 29 a couple of months ago and I am still struggling to live from my art, so I completely understand how you feel. I agree with Jennifer Liwanag, "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert is such a great book and I guess you can relate a lot with what she writes. You can check her TED talk (Success, Failure and the Drive to Keep Creating), it's short but still very inspiring: www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_success_failure_and_the_drive_to_keep_creating#t-413100
Then, the podcast "Don't Keep Your Day Job" by Cathy Heller is a good resource as well because there are several interviews with creatives following their dreams and working smart towards the life they want and their craft and making an income from it: www.dontkeepyourdayjob.com/
I knew about this podcast in an episode of another podcast called "Being Boss", where the podcasters interviewed Cathy and she tells her story, which is again very inspiring, this is the episode 174: beingboss.club/podcast/episode-174-figure-it-out-cathy-heller
Sorry if this was too much, but I hope you feel better.
Thank you for your honesty, for your art and for your videos.
Sending you hugs and positive energy from Ecuador :)
I completely understand what you’re going through ( even though I’m at the beginning stages of self employment), I have a shit following and it’s just so hard getting followers and people interested in your work. And that’s suuuuuch bullshit when all you wanna do is create and inspire other people and make others happy. But I definitely think you can make it, you’re stuff is so damn cool and if nothing else I’ll always be cheering you on! If you ever need to rant or rave girl you got me 😩❤️ being a creative in this world is so hard man and it’s always gonna be overwhelming because we don’t have the respect we should but ce la vie baby P.s the studios looking grand ☺️
Thank you so much sweety!! You can do it though! We're gonna grow together! x
Zeke's Lunchbox man I hope so lmao