EP 23 - Our Reality as Autism Moms | Signs of Autism | Raising Black Sons with autism
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- Опубліковано 17 вер 2024
- Welcome back LTTA Family! This week I sit down with two incredible moms, Carla Wilmaris and Dayybella. They are navigating their lives of being single mothers after their children were recently diagnosed with autism. We dive deep into their personal journeys-the initial shock, the countless appointments, and the reality of raising children with special needs while doing it on their own. Carla and Dayybella are sharing the raw, unfiltered emotions that come with this diagnosis: the fears, the uncertainties, but also the moments of joy and growth.
This conversation isn't just about the challenges though; it's about the strength of these women. They talk about their support systems, the resources they've found along the way, and how they're advocating for their children in ways they never imagined they'd need to. We get real about the emotional toll it takes on them as individuals, but also how it's shaping them as mothers.
If you’re a parent-single or not-or just someone wanting to understand what life is like for families with autism, this episode is for you. Carla and Dayybella bring so much vulnerability and hope to the conversation. I’m so honored they trusted LTTA with their stories, and I know you’ll feel that same gratitude after listening.Listen on Apple: podcasts.apple...
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I taught autistic kids for 16yrs. The different spectrums are amazing. The low functioning are the hardest but they all special in their own way. God bless these single moms! ❤
Well intended I’m certain but let’s clean this up. Educators, Specialists, Doctors Caregivers and beyond please add. More appropriate language or labeling is high(er) needs verse low(er) needs. Functioning is inherently ableist. It does not anlow for nuance of a diagnosis that can be incredibly complicated but doesn’t have to be. High or low functioning has poor implications. “Functioning” has much to do with the “independence” of the person, how much they can do in their own. Functioning relates to how we understand operating in a capitalist and individualistic society(Us in the West or in westernized cultures). We are human beings able to do amazing things but we are not human doers. The label is based on production and not capacity. Austic people are people with needs that vary based off individuals like so many people whether living with medically complex diagnosis or personal lives. They deserve patience and accommodations because they are us ❤️
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you…for this podcast. As a BLACK special needs paraprofessional this conversation is so incredibly important! Wow! Please know I am one of those ones who go above and beyond everyday in my job to ensure OUR children are taken care of, thriving, and safe. Moms… we see you, we hear you, and we are out there caring for your babies. I love my students to my core. They are angels. They provide comfort and the type of love most people cannot feel or relate to. Keep going! There are people out there who are here to support you! All love! ❤️
We appreciate people like you as mommies. Answered prayers 🩶 God bless you!
I love this conversation. I am a Speech Language Pathologist in the Metro Atlanta area and my favorite part of my profession is educating parents on how to navigate the Autism world. It is a lot and so many waitlist and loopholes to go through, but it is worth it for your babies.
Hey! I have a son in need of services. May I have your business info?
Hey B, thanks for giving these moms a platform to share their stories. I'm an Austism mom myself to an 11 y/o boy. ❤
Megan should have been here for this discussion 🖤
I had the same thought
Which Megan?
Right like what the hell happened between them?
THIS!!!! As a former diverse learner educator, I CANNOT stress how important this conversation is for black parents of any form.
Great conversation. My son was diagnosed at 2. He was a active baby and stopped progressing around 1 1/2. I have experienced most of the scenarios that were discussed. My son has changed our entire family. He is a blessing. Early intervention and early diagnosis is key. I kept him in therapy until he outgrew it. Socialization was scary, but I keep him interacting with other kids. I am here in South Carolina and I always get questions because people still just don't know. My son is 13 and a little socially awkward, but so amazing smart! Hang in there moms.
Autism mom of a boy and girl. There so vibrant, sweet and soak up everything like sponges. I’m thankful that God had assigned me to these beautiful children. With patience and support, I intend to rear high functioning, happy wholesome human beings. Thank you for providing a safe space B!❤
My son didn’t start talkin till around 5, he’s 9 now thriving doing really well, it really is a process. I have a girl with autism as well and that showed me that it really is a spectrum because they are complete opposites as far as behavior goes. My daughter don’t give af
Thank you for sharing, I am an autism mum and I needed to hear this.
I needed to hear this too! My son is 3 and not yet really talking but I know he has so much to say and communicate.
This was a much needed conversation that should be discussed more often and openly, as autism diagnoses are increasingly common. I have a three-year-old son with autism and I thank you for providing this platform and raising awareness. I’m sure this episode has blessed many parents who are struggling through this journey.
This is a great starting point for a much needed conversation. So interesting I just left my sons IEP meeting, he is now 10. And this literally popped up right when I got in my car. And I too did a private neuropsychological evaluation for my son. While he is neurodivergent, not diagnosed as autism many of these symptoms are universal. In actuality every child needs an IEP, however, the system is not set up to support those individual needs. As a mom there are those of us who are hyper aware of our child’s needs a and as they say the squeaky wheel gets the oil. While some children may have greater needs than others the fact is a great majority of our children fall under this umbrella. Kudos to the moms that get it. Great content. Much needed for this coming generation. A lot of us just flew under the radar. It’s not always autism but …. All of our kids deserve moms willing to advocate and fight for their specific needs.
I’m a proud mama of a superhero, he is 5 years old and level 1 autistic. It has been a beautiful journey filled with big accomplishments and hard let downs. The developmental and emotional challenges can be heart stopping but the slightest milestone reached is so rewarding. I was a single mom who left his domestically violent sperm donor. My boy saved my life the moment he hit the womb, these 2 ladies have given me more inspiration. The spectrum is broad but every autistic child is amazingly unique and brilliant. Routing for all my asd moms all around the world
Those 17 pages were so intimidating but also the ticket to everything . I cant explain how emotional and joyful I am . Thank you for this episode I needed it 🙏🏾
My daughter was a 29 weeker. She has had so many health challenges but I knew something was different about her from the start. She cried so much and never responded to her name. Everything was labeled a “global delay” until around 2 & 1/2. The struggle has been so real but connecting with other moms definitely helps. I’m super private but it’s amazing that you made this episode cause I’ve been debating about talking to someone cause it’s hard. Thank you! 💜
Love this episode! My son is the sweetest person ever and was diagnosed at age 4/5. I give flowers to those singles mothers bc this takes hard work and patience!
I have two kid’s that has it and let me tell you it’s hard it’s very hard, but we gotta stay in prayer you know . 🙏
I’ve never felt so seen or heard in my life. My oldest is neurotypical & my youngest is neurodivergent. It’s totallyyyyyy different. I love love love this episode. Thank you for this. 💖🫶🏽
Awww!!! I saw the title and automatically assumed they made up and her best friend came back 😌
I am an awesome mom of a beautiful 8 year old girl. Building a community is important.
I love that they can talk to each other about their experiences. ❤❤
I have an autistic brother, so this conversation hits home for me!❤
Great episode!! Super informative! 🎉
B! This was thee best episode because you were so patient and loving and curious. You made this conversation such a safe space for these women to share their stories unapologetically.
It's not easy being a mom, for one. Then to be vocal about what you're going through, is another feat. I was incredibly encouraged as a single mom, to own my sh*t, and to be ok with the challenges. It isn't easy, but there is comfort in having community. Thank you for making Let's Try This Again, such a safe space. 💖
I loved this episode!! My son was diagnosed with Autism( level 2), speech delay and processing delay when he was 2. He’s now in kindergarten and turning 6 in November. I went through the SAME things that these beautiful mommies went through. My son is sooo bright and smart and his speech has improved but I know we still have work to do. Having solid assistance from the state is stressful and needs major improvements but having a community that caters to our babies and parents has helped in many ways more than the state has. I love seeing us being more brave in advocating and vulnerable because our babies are precious and people judge immediately without understanding. 💙much love support and COMMUNITY! 💙
They shoulda go to in totality. It’d be amazing
Great interview ladies 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I had a few concerns with my child thinking he has ADHD and speech delay and he just turned 3. I really felt when you ladies said you couldn’t travel with your kids bc of their behavior I felt that 😩I just called and made my son an appointment bc this has been on my mind. This video came across my timeline and this was my sign. Thank you soooooo much. We got this parents! ❤❤
I'm 33 im a autism mom my daughter was a preemie she is now 12 I noticed signs as early as 1 and at 12 she does stimming with her hands during loud noises she also has a. IEP and everything y'all spoke about I went through she was diagnosed around 7. Thank God for my mom she is my Rock
Please know when you have IEP‘s your voice matters if there’s something on that plan that you do not agree with please don’t be afraid to voice your concerns or opinion. What you want for your child matters. A lot of parents don’t know that during the IEP planning time your voice matters is not only up to the school. It’s also up to you and what you feel is best for your child. Please don’t turn a blind eye if you find out your child is diagnosed the sooner you get SERVICES the better. My son was diagnosed at the age of 2 1/2 nonverbal. He is now six years old he can talk and he’s in a regular classes. The spectrum is so wide so you can never compare your child to what another child is going through.
Showing love so this episode gets as much attention as possible ❤️
I teach students with Autism 🫶🏾There is so much public miseducation around the diagnosis. God called me to be their teacher because I definitely had no desires of teaching at all 😄 But it truly is a honor and there are endless lessons that they teach me 🥲
I have a 5 year old son with autism so this hit for me. Thank y’all so much. I feel so seen !
As a black BCBA (behavior analyst) this was great. I love the knowledge being spread about the field!
Off topic probably but I wish Meg and b Simone would do a sit down on her for their first sit down it would do numbers and hopefully mend a years of friendship like I said numbers tho prayers to yall
What makes you think that they want to br friends again ?! Y'all aggy
@@AngelaElikya never said they did want to be friends I said it would be some to see they are also entertainers YOUR “Aggy” for a stranger stating their opinion and having something negative to say this the internet out of all these comments you chose mine I’m sure this video ain’t even about them cause I ain’t watch it foh
Honestly, I just want them to make up... Continue with their own podcasts but just fix things for crying out loud(that's just my prayer).. Our ways are not God's ways though.
Love this episode! Autism mom to a boy 💙. I felt everything in this episode with both moms
What a beautiful episode B. Simone, Carla and Dayybella thank you all.
I was waiting on Megan to speak on this when yall had this podcast but she wouldn’t really open up. Thanks for having this convo. I have 6 yr old son who is autistic. This convo helps.
Was that shade necessary? She didn’t have to speak about it
Megan did a Whole Episode on her Podcast on this Topic, episode 11 you should check it out. Was also informative.
Can people please stop mentioning Meghan in the comments. It obviously wasn't a safe space for her to share before she started her own podcast. The same way it wouldn't have been a safe space for her in this episode. If you want to support her and her content follow her podcast "InTotality". Other than that let these two women be .
So glad you all did this. I was like both ladies. When I found out I was in denial then when I did my research and accepted it immediately went public. ❤
Thank you for talking about this on your platform!!!!!!! ❤❤❤
I truly can relate to this.I am a mom of an autistic 14 yr old daughter she's nonverbal and im also a single. And let me tell you its so hard😢❤! This show was everything
This was a great conversation. Thank you for sharing. This will help many people in our communities
Thanks B! We needed this! Autism mom here!🫶🏾
As a Registered Behavior Technician working on becoming a Behavior Analyst, this is so interesting to watch
Thank you to these brave women. I have 4 boys and couldnt imagine the struggle you ladies face. God truly blessed those boys to have you as mothers. Amazing episode B. 💙🙏
I’m an autism person. With everything they said 🙏🏿🥹
This was a much-needed conversation as much of what was discussed didn’t get discussed, especially in the black community. My goddaughter is on the autistic spectrum and works with an autistic child, as well as a substitute SPED teacher, and the lack of access to resources is truly heartbreaking.
I dont have any kids, but this episode was very informative. Thank you B.Simone.
This burst my heart wide open! This was so heartwarming and I commend you all for sharing your stories. This was so good. Sending all the moms who have autism /ADHD / any diagnoses I may not know so much love, honor and respect. Y’all are the shit!💅🥰
Love this episode! learning to be more patient has unlocked a new level lol
*Esp. for the ADHD part more importantly would be take Gluten Away. That has made the biggest impact for me, Gluten, Lactose and sugar free. Difficult but Worth It!*
Oh wow im definitely gonna look into this. THANK YOU!
Loveeeee this episode!! Soo relatable...boy mom of an 8yr old. We started out nonverbal...however years of Speech therapy has us talking. We still struggle with socializing. But its been the very word ..LOTS of patience. So relatable to my life as we navigate this world.
I love this episode because it’s such a different perspective and sheds light on such an important topic and can really help out parents.
I've been through it with my oldest son and everything that the ladies are talking about i went through it with my oldest son. One evening my brother & i was watching a camerchale about Autism speaks & my brother was like maybe your son has ADHD and i said i think it's Autism. So i took my son to school and & that's what his teacher said that he has. So i reminded my brother about the camerchale about autism speaks & my brother said yeah i said it's autism. I would also notice my son movements as well. The school was willing to give my son the help that he needed. We did a IEP with him as well. So after Thanksgiving i enrolled my son in a new school that will help him. As i was talking to his teacher she asked me if i wanted to put my son in speech therapy and i said yes. So the last day of school for Christmas break my son was saying word for word of a Sesame Street game & i actually understood everything that my son was saying & my brother & i was crying tears of joy. Now my son is 22 years old and he loves to cook.
I can relate to this so much, it had me in tears to know I am not alone at all! Thank you for this!
I love that you brought them on this platform. A lot of women can relate to this. I appreciate watching and listening. Both beautiful women doing their best making sure their children get the best care in all ways. #autismmamas #supermoms I love that both mothers are very involved 👏🏽. I can also relate in both cases.
My son is 13 and has been on the swim team at his school and he is also a black belt in Karate. It really teaches them discipline if they can stay in it
Wheewwww I get the melt down and not knowing I remember when my son would cry some days we would cry together 😢 💔
Loved this episode so relatable
Thank you B for this podcast ❤
I have a son with Autism.Its called Autism spectrum disorder and the doctor is usually called A Developmental Pediatrician
wow hearing this and seeing this now is crazy… my son is 2 and has his autism evaluation on monday the 16th and acts just like dayybellas son from what she said. and i literally feel like her dont wanna believe it dont wanna accept it not ready to, dont want him in special ed NOTHING. im so upset by this.
It is scary, it’s a process. And above all, God understands. Whatever is on the other side of the evaluation, there is always hope and the best thing you can do for your child is to continue being that loving supportive mommy advocating for your baby’s needs. The fact that you have an evaluation scheduled shows you are equipped and willing to support Gods gift to you and this world (your baby). Just started the process in recent months and each day God proves himself faithful with what He can do for His glory. Gods hand is on your baby and you momma, are going to be okay! This journey is not easy but when you remember that God has a plan, you will find the most strength and comfort in our heavenly Daddy who has got you and your baby! Prayers for you and know that you are not alone. ❤️
Thank you for this message. My son is 10 and is non-verbal, I have experienced all of this. But I am blessed that my son's father does have relationship with my son. Also sensory and texture.
Shout out to the single moms with these kids, it is not easy 🩷
This helped me so much the denial, not patient, apologizing. I was scared to take him out and easily offended about my Lil one. I'm a mess just wanting to know what he needs trying to guess. I just found a daycare with a teacher who loves him and wants to see him grow. He is starting to talk now n is super smart. I hope one day he will thrive and be able to live a "normal" life.
I’m a proud Autism Mom. My daughter is 3 now and has been diagnosed since 2. Early Intervention is key, please parents even if your scared just get your child tested. I know it’s hard and difficult but you have a community. Moms/Dads please read your state procedural safeguards if your child has an IEP it will let you know about your rights in Special Education. I hope this helps someone.❤
Such a good one bless both the families
Pray ! And with balance let your kiddos lead sometimes
This amazing to see!!!
Aba is Applied Behavior Analysis therapy
So much more aware now when you see kids and parents out
I absolutely love this platform topic and can relate to their stories.
Look into Gestalt Language Processing for your kiddos , find the mom groups in your area, ask your hospitals social worker to provide you with resources !
this conversation made me laugh and cry. you guys are the best moms. praying for your kids
Yes, we needed this! Autism mom to a 6 year old 🩷.
Thank you so much for this. Sometimes it feels like we are alone! Thank you!! 🥹
Such a beautiful episode and powerful testimony from two strong women ❤️❤️❤️
I felt soooooooo seen on so many levels watching this!! 🥹
I am a single mom with a 14yr old on the spectrum level 3 and I am struggling and so tired and I have no community. Because everyone on the spectrum is so different, and there’s way too many opinions from everybody it’s such an isolating experience. There’s no one I can relate to who gets it and it sucks.
Have you looked into any therapies? ABA, OT, Speech, Dedicated Aides?
@@daijaareona I did speech and OT when he was younger. ABA is always something out of reach and can’t afford. Never new about dedicated aides until social media and idk if I qualify since there’s nothing physically wrong with him
@@makeupqueenroo I am not sure where you are located but there are schools that cater to children and teenagers like your child! If they are diagnosed, it wouldn’t hurt to see if they can get into a school and have a dedicated aide.
@@daijaareona I’m in Texas and I realize that it’s not very special needs friendly and I should have stayed in Cali so I plan on going back.
@@makeupqueenroo I’m so sorry to hear that. I would definitely recommend looking into special education schools they can help with behavior as well as academics. I work in the field as a Behavior Technician and I wish there were more outspoken resources available to the community
great episode!
B !! I love you so much. Thank you so much for this. 🥹
❤
I was in those gifted classes and I still struggle socially. Hmmm this is connecting some dots for me.
I love that you did this B. ❤❤❤❤
My son is like Carla ( I believe that’s is her name) my son started walking 7 month crawling around 3 to 4 months. Claims a lot . We knew very early tho only because we work in that field. My sons special interest in dinosaurs. We are just now about to get him tested after being on a waiting list for almost a year. My son esteem’s has a hard time making friends ect. I also just found out I am autistic as well and my daughter is too. She didn’t talk until she was 4. She had to do speech and now she talks for days. lol women mask it very well so harder to notice. My son stems a lot my son is verbal but he had to go through speech and my son seems to have adhd. It can be hard but I promise you it is a super power for them they see the world I feel a lot better than normal people. Maybe because this is how I see the world as well. It’s hard it really is because people think they are weird that’s what I went through and both my kids as well but the people that are meant to be there to shape their lives in the best day will come. Don’t accept what they say trust your gut as a person with autism has kids with it and that has worked in the field what they tell you as far as what they can do or they should only be in special ed is not fact fight for your kids exspecailly if they are black fight!!! Be their strongest advocate. Show them how to fight for themselves. To not be put in a box because they are the world differently. Also being a mom dealing with autism and having kids going through the same thing makes it ten times harder because if they yell you go into sensory overload too. Not saying it’s easier for parents that are moral it’s not for sure but if you dealing with the same nero things you have to regulate yourself first so it don’t come off like your blowing up at them.
This conversation would have been better navigated with Meghan! ❤
This was a really good episode🥰
I was like oh snap it’s Tuesday! 📺🍿🌇
Me too! 😂
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Yess I'm terrified. To leave her
Scrolling
yayyyy new video 💯💯
I've been a Pediatrician here in Los Angeles for 35 years and my spouse is an OB/GYN. The discussion needs to resolve around the fact that fathers of these children are overwhelmingly over the age of 32 years. This has NOTHING to do with the mother yet mom's are bearing the burden and guilt. Males with an extra copy of chromosome Y have an increased incidence of autism. Genes on the Y chromosome are important in brain development. The Y chromosome also has a very high frequency of spontaneous mutations. I have yet to see a discussion with men regarding 'their' autistic children.
It’s definitely genetics, sometimes it can be environmental.
My son is like Carla ( I believe that’s is her name) my son started walking 7 month crawling around 3 to 4 months. Claims a lot . We knew very early tho only because we work in that field. My sons special interest in dinosaurs. We are just now about to get him tested after being on a waiting list for almost a year. My son esteem’s has a hard time making friends ect. I also just found out I am autistic as well and my daughter maybe but women mask it very well so hard to notice. My son stems a lot my son is verbal but he had to go through speech and my son seems to have adhd. It can be hard but I promise you it is a super power for them they see the world I feel a lot better than normal people. Maybe because this is how I see the world as well. It’s hard it really is because people think they are weird that’s what I went through and both my kids as well but the people that are meant to be there to shape their lives in the best day will come.
Sawayn Island
💚💚💚
How did autism become so common within the last 10-15 years?
FDA food lead limits? Or Baby powder milk from China with lead probably.
I don’t think it’s more common (as in I don’t think there are more autistic people now than in the past) but rather people are more educated and can better put a label to things versus just thinking kids are “bad”, “weird”, or “slow”.
Special Ed is not the schools choice! As parents we need to know our rights
I got my mommy and me leash also yesss
❤❤❤
Autistic mom here 🙋🏽♀️ how do you mamas deal with co sleeping with an autistic kid, he’s 8 but has many fears and anxiety sleeping alone? Is that a problem for you or not?
Not an issue here. Get a lamp and turn on a sleep piano tune no singing or try native American flute sounds. Try a heavy blanket and maybe some tart cherry juice an hour before bed. Talk to your doctor about sleep melatonin or magnesium.
@@RegalCreek thanks for the advice ❤️
Hey! Have you tried laying down with him and letting him fall asleep? Maybe you can try it and get up slowly. Also i got my son his own bed with some nice sheets and comforter of his favorite character and let him know thats his own bed (he was pretty excited)! Hope that works, and please let me know how it goes❤️
@@kayreyes93 I’ll def try this and let you know, thanks!
The Heavy blankey made for autismn really helped my son calmed down
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