cj's least favourite tran things
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2017
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The waiting...but on the plus I have patience in abundances now 😂
CJ & Miles Yes!!! I am the king of all the patience! Also, the coming out...you think it will be once. Like one big event...but it never stops. You have to keep coming out. That's not just Trans though that's most LGBT+ folks.
OMG the smells, I smell...like boy. Like sweaty boy smell, all the time even though I shower daily.
My absolute favorite youtuber from this Channel! Hi Cj! So good to see you. Love your videos cause you expressed your feelings and concerns very well. Yes, this you're going through should be normal, should be more understood and "normalized" in the 21st century. I agree with you. Keep being you and remember you got supporters (like me). Big hug from Switzerland 😘❤🇨🇭
While I can't emotionally or psychologically reverse and transform into a cis person, my biggest challenge has been the time. I was deathly shakingly afraid at 20 that I may not begin my life until 25, which is when I supposed I had been on HRT a while and gotten top surgery. I hadn't been myself, truly, not just because I'm trans, my entire growing up. I lost my adolescence and now I've lost my young adulthood, in so much emotional pain and stress I can't function like 'normal people'. The years are dragging by at a glacial drip, and tat frightens me. Time is all we have and you cannot get back time. It is finite. And last week I turned 25. I got given HRT but it was taken away from me by NHS incompetence for 9 months, forcing me into a traumatic detransition. Now I'm back on. From day one they said 'we will not give you top surgery. No way. You're too fat'. Chronically depressed and unable to care for myself, I cannot change my weight. So I tried to slowly save to go to Dr Garramone. Then someone stole from my fund. It's been a gruelling, awful 5 years. And my soul is breaking under the strain of the knowledge I may never be Me until I'm 30 now. No young adulthood. No adolescence. 30. As if I had been in a coma since my formative years. It's literally killing me. But I don't know what else to do.
I am so sorry about all of that you should be able to be happy and not feel so stressed and not feel so much pain. But I really do wish you luck on the top surgery I hope you get it real soon
Love this, I totally relate with you CJ! I hate when people at work or in my family come to me to talk about the last trans related news (they are rarely reported in a trans informed matter)... Especially when they want me to confirm their transphobic opinion on the topic and then get mad when I tell them what is problematic about their opinion... -_-'
I always look forward to your videos a lot because even though you're the furthest away from me in age out of all the ftmtranstastic people I can still relate to you the most.
Plus you seem so natural in front of the camera it feels like you're actually in a conversation with me, which is incredibly reassuring if you're in a place without a support network or trans friends.
I guess that would have to be my number one con as well, not being able to talk to anyone that gets it.
I love my cis friends and they accept my trans identity completely, but I still can't get rid of the shame that comes with speaking up about trans stuff, no matter if it's talking about body image or the medical system or society.
With cis people there's always this slight disconnection because you don't want to come across as attention seeking, even though the problems you're talking about need attention, so you don't dare to say anything at all.
I suppose that comes from internalized transphobia, and it's silly but it's something I struggle with a lot even after years of social transition.
That affects coming out too, everytime I get a new job (pre medical transition, name and gender marker change) I can't bring myself to come out even though I know I'll be miserable for a year if I don't.
how far are you on t if you dont mind me asking?