Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room ...
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- i love this dialogue...
Monthy Python's Holly Grail - Swamp Castle
Keenest guards ever!
FATHER:
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PRINCE HERBERT:
What, the curtains?
FATHER:
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
HERBERT:
But Mother--
FATHER:
Father, lad. Father.
HERBERT:
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
FATHER:
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
HERBERT:
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
FATHER:
Rather what?!
HERBERT:
I'd rather...
[music]
...just... sing!
FATHER:
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
HERBERT:
B-- but I don't want land.
FATHER:
Listen, Alice,--
HERBERT:
Herbert.
FATHER:
'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
HERBERT:
But-- but I don't like her.
FATHER:
Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
HERBERT:
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
[music]
...a certain,... special... something!
FATHER:
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GUARD #1:
Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
No, no. Until I come and get him.
GUARD #1:
Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
FATHER:
No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
And you'll come and get him.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
FATHER:
No, no. Leaving the room.
GUARD #1:
Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
FATHER:
Yes? What is it?
GUARD #1:
Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
FATHER:
Look, it's quite simple.
GUARD #1:
Uh...
FATHER:
You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Right.
GUARD #1:
Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
FATHER:
N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
FATHER:
No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GUARD #1:
Until you or anyone else--
FATHER:
No, not anyone else. Just me.
GUARD #1:
Just you.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Get back.
GUARD #1:
Get back.
FATHER:
All right?
GUARD #1:
Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
What?
FATHER:
Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
The Prince?
FATHER:
Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
Oh, yes, of course.
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER:
Is that clear?
GUARD #2:
Hic!
GUARD #1:
Oh, quite clear. No problems.
FATHER:
Right. Where are you going?
GUARD #1:
We're coming with you.
FATHER:
No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1:
Oh, I see. Right.
HERBERT:
But Father!
FATHER:
Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!
GUARD #2:
Hic!
FATHER:
Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
"She's got HUGE...tracts of land."
"tracts"
Matt McNeil , You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Why do I get the feeling the king was going to say something else
@@jimhuffman9434 Nah!
@@DieFlabbergast no no let him speak I think he's got a point
AND NO SINGING.
Hic!
Oh go get a glass of water.
I wish that would happen during a Disney movie with a grouchy character
@@marywhite9676
Yes! That would be a way to break the fourth wall
damn
-You are already beeing missed
Terry: what the curtains ?
-No not the curtains. YOU 😭
Sadly the last curtain has fallen for Terry. He really will be missed (No, not the curtain).
Terry Jones is perfect as the sickly Prince. And for some reason the way the king grabs him and slaps him at the end always cracks me up.
Best thing Terry ever did.
@@thebrazilianatlantis165 Oooo I wouldn't say that.
"What the curtains ?". That always makes me tear up.
He’s not sickly, he’s gay
He is Terry Jones ??????? Damn ! Good make up
i like that look eric idle was doing when he is smiling as the prince is writing a note and shoot it out of the window with an bow and arrow
Cobax hahaha that's the best
To this day when someone's doing something annoying I say "stop that stop that! you're not goin' into a song while I'm here". Of course they have no idea why I said that.
when every I want to make a joke about huge knockers I always call them 'great tracks of land' and it goes over everone's head...especially since I'm a yank.
gunmunz ya... I use that one too. Lots of lines from this movie I still use. Definitely stuck in our heads. Strangely enough I had the record before I saw the movie. It was hilarious too... especially the fake broadcast of the movie premiere.
hebber1961 I know this is a year old but Monty Python in general is quoteable
+gunmunz Definately.
I always do the "If, if, err....if, if". :o)
Who would say no to getting their hands on huge tracks of land?!
Barry Andersen He's either gay or asexual.
Barry Andersen "Tracts of land"
+Matthew Christiansen I'm pretty sure he's gay. And that's not a homophobic judgment.
Barry Andersen I would to land that looks pretty ugly, regardless of size. Quality over quantity.
He’s gay
Honestly the best bit here is "Some day lad this'll all be yours." - "What the Curtains?"
"No, not the curtains, lad!"
I always laugh at this part, freakin brilliant.
"but mother"
"father, I'm father"
xD
Favorite part: "Oh, quite clear! No problems." Promptly follow the king as he leaves the room.
This is what it's like teaching ITT students.
Why bother, just because you're payed for it? Win the lottery or something, you twit.
Just tell them to ask others "Have you tried turning your computer off and on again?"
That guard is totally me at every job I've worked...
The way Herbert says "I know" after his father finishes by saying she's got huge tracts of land.....just gets me everytime. It's a little thing but still funny.
i'm from morocco and i watched this movie for the first time in italy in the early 80's with some friends from Usa.
the life of brian and this movie are my favorite comedy movies
1:02 my reaction to the fixer upper song from Frozen.
Agreed!
My reaction to every episode of Glee, whenever a song pops up.
aww but that's quite a lot!
ambulance girl Just watched it so I can see how it took a huge nosedive which made the people on the show just give up.
***** Yeah, it was the only Song from Frozen that I actually Hated.
2:28 always cracks me up. Eric Idle is priceless.
Ohhh, I have encountered SO many people in my life like that guard.
“We’re coming with you”
This is such a brilliant scene!!! :))) How many times I experienced such a situation in real life.. you explain and explain and explain something to some people - and they just keep on LEAVING THE ROOM WITH YOU... AAAAARRRGGGHH!!! :))))
And that ladies and gentlemen, is true comedic genius.
I was thinking about this part at work today and I about started laughing my ass off. I was sitting by myself and really had to fight so ppl wouldn't think I was insane or something.
He just wants to sing and in the end everyone but his dad cheers him on
This is one of my favorite parts of the movie.
1:02 & 1:44 My reaction to the songs from Spongebob: Atlantis Squarepantis
My reaction to any song in any movie.
This is my favorite scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
At that last line "go get a glass of water", could rekindle the whole conversation about leaving the room.
One of the best Monty Python scenes. And that's saying a lot.
*Music starts*
Stop that STOP THAT!
YOU FELL OUT OF THE TALL TOWER YOU CREEP. 😂
Yes but I was saved at the last second
How?
Well, I'll tell you...🎵
bUt FaTHer, I dOnT WanT To maRRy
I feel like the king talking to the guard when I was repeatedly explaining guitar beats to my 9 yr old son lmao.
"One day lad all this will be yours."
"What the curtains?"
I tried the whole "Won't leave the room" routine at work once. It actually worked!
The best comedy of all time
She's got huge tracks of land
One of the funniest scenes in a sublimely funny film. I totally agree with other comments but also what gets me is that Palin doesn't get really angry with the guards just slightly irritated. I'm leaving this comment now. What??!!
Delicious 😋.
Herbert trying to sing cracks me up every time
I always felt this Palin character deserved a stand alone film of his own.
My favorite scene from the movie, almost died from laughing.
The king said it was DAFT to build a castle in the swamp! But I built it all the same, just so show em! It sank into the swamp...
lolz this whole movie is genius
In my opinion, the guy who was gonna sing was about to do a "somewhere" or maybe an "I want" wishing song...
Greatest. Movie. Ever. Of all time.
It's so great that cute lil' Michael Palin can play a big burly bear as well.
I fucking love the accents, they make it all better.
I did not realize that the swamp king was actually Michael Palin... Very good acting....
"until you or anyone else "
no not anyone else
1:01 When somebody makes me watch a disney movie with a kid
Now that I think about it... Being a programmer, my job is to talk to the guards all day :S.
1:54 Dany to the Unsullied guarding Jaime.
Not to leave the room, even if you come and get him
@rankaratar The fact that so much is improv is a shining testament to how comically brilliant these guys were.
Oh go get a glass of water!!!
Can he leave the room with us?
I left the room to laugh
Shut your noise, you!😂
One day lad this will all be your's. The curtains. No not the curtains lad.
huge... tracts of land
Simple instructions, lads.
RIP Terry Jones. Now bereft of life.
"What, the curtains?"
It's a comedian version of princess Emeraud and Zagato 😂
3:00 is the funniest part 😂
For some reason I was expecting the fourth castle to also sink into the swamp.
Let's just sing!
Don't you dare start singing!
As long as you don't leave the room.
It’s built on top of the other three castles that fell down!
that's because the 4th castle stood under the remains of the first three fallen castles, that's why!
first lines are pure gold.
"She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land!"
Hilarious scene
what, the curtains? lol!!!!!
Seven people don't want huge tracts of land.
Not to leave the room..even if you come and get him.
All the Monty Team said when he and John Cleese walk in-it motored. They would make you laugh
Oh, go an' get a glass of water.
0:29-0:47 practically laughing
oh go get a glass of water!.
Listen alice.....
.........Herbert XD Lol
but the 3rd one.. burnt down fell over and then sank into the swamp.
Cut That Out! Cut That Out! 😆😆😅😅🤣🤣😂😂.
Like ordering at a drive thru
Noooo! Why did you cut it there? Afterwards Guard #1 gives Herbert a "staredown".. :D
Is this a new episode of Game of Thrones? I don't recognize it.
That guy must really hate Disney
Me too
1:55 this is teaching toddlers/training dogs in a nutshell
Funniest thing ive ever seen in my life
What the curtains?
'now?' This is a period piece!
@neglesaks All the way down? I was always told it was just 8. And if that were the case, then why didn't support the first three?
More educated than Woody Allen and wanting silly. Just to show 'em. The most boss
Man, where did the king find these guards lol
At the end of the video the the other guard should have said "But hes not allowed to leave the room, isnt he?"
Mark Saunders from kingston university brought me here! :)
'You're marrying princess Lucky, so, you better good used to the idea'
How can one scene have SO many recurring jokes? The singing, forgetting each other's name, the confused guards...it's brilliantly written and expertly executed.
You forgot the kings scalp condition.I think it's CROWN Propecia.
And the sinking in the swamp
Even the hiccups
I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition
@@kevinshanahan6064 Nobody does!
not to leave the room, even if you come and get him.
what episode of game of thrones is this from?
it's monty python not GOT
+Marta Kaizak Bullshit
The best one.
+Mary Jac Joffrey and Robert look less dead then the last time I seen them.
+Mary Jac The Red Wedding one, obviously.
The "make sure he doesn't leave" is my favorite movie scene of all time. It's just perfect.
Mine too.
The ancestors of those guards are today's flat Earthers.
Philly Decay PHLDK No, ancestors. After an accident with a rubber band, some contraceptives & a time machine.
I've had people working for me that take instruction just like those guards
Haggle scene from Life of Brian is also perfect.
farther: one day lad all this will be yours
Herbert: what the curtains?
father: no not the curtains lad
herbert: but mother
father: father im father.
this kills me eveytime
Hahahahahahahaha yes hollariouss
my favourite line from the whole film. Python had so many amazing seemingly thow away lines
I have no idea why that line makes me laugh as hard as it does.
Whenever a Disney song comes in, I want a character to say “Stop that, stop that! Nobody is singing while I’m here.”
Well of course the fourth castle stayed up, it's resting on top of the first three
That's also what I thought. And, I think it would have been great if the king had said that!
Genius!
That's the joke, dumbass.
So he was the first member of the Royal Society for putting things on top of other things.
nope you got it wrong.
Sadly, the curtains have closed on Terry Jones wonderful life today.. While he never grabbed headlines like Cleese or Palin, Terry Jones was such a brilliant writer and director. Thank you thank you thank you for all of the laughs.
He is the reason flying circus had the flow from sketch to sketch. We've lost a legend for sure. Rest in peace nobody is going to stop you from singing now
He's gone to meet Dr. Chapman
Nah, he's just resting.
@@samarvora7185 LOL
Samar Vora BEAUtiful plumage, eh Squire? If we hadn't nailed 'im to 'is writing desk, 'e would of muscled up those bars and VOOM!
I’ll never forget the first time I saw this film and that moment when the Prince goes “I’d rather just sing!!”… I rolled my eyes because I didn’t want to sit through a musical number only to have the father character quite literally express my exact feelings 😂
I prefer the version in, ironically, the stage musical, where the father actually threatens the orchestra 😂
This time the hiccup killed me
Father figure? I thought he was the mother...
@@willw1991 Father, lad. Father.
“But mother”
“Father lad, father”
“But father”
“Listen, Alice”
“Herbert”
🤣🤣🤣
I always thought he said “Alex”, but Alice is better haha.
Me talking to my niece
"But, Sandra.."
"Emily"
"Emily"
They're both trans
@@evelynr5327 no you're just mental