Strangers getting mad about being asked their pronouns... Order my book here: linktr.ee/jamm... Join this channel to get access to perks: / @jammidodger
To be fair to the person who put on their headphones and kept walking, I feel like that's a perfectly valid response to having a stranger with a camera and a microphone literally run up to you on the street.
I feel very uncomfortable when strangers stop me in public. I have enough anxiety just walking around. If I say no to being asked a question, and the person keeps pushing, I could start panicking. It doesn't matter the question. Consent is a thing
This is why when I see people that got a whole set up I stay away from them as far as possible. I'm not finna be the unlucky sucker that gets asked some rage bait stupid shit.
I do wish Jamie had spoken up more forcing a camera in people's faces and being respectful when people say no. He seems only really focused on the people giving transphobic answers, which, fair, but don't you think pestering people will turn them off even more from learning? Not to mention when the guy asked, he would start by using, "Ms, Mr, or Lady" kinda of making asking them pointless if you've already assumed.
Yeah. I mean, this is a social experiment, and I'm the same way. But if I'm talking to someone new, I'd rather they say "Hello. What's your pronouns?" than to have them say "Hello, ma'am."
@@rossjennings4755 to different people and different things. "I'll pick it up for you." Though I do know one person whose (among others) chose the pronoun "it", so that pronouns is not only got things (though it most often is). Well, I met it twice, I probably wouldn't recognise it, but it's a lovely person.
@@terifrastustbh I’m not sure there is a respectful way to yell at strangers for the purpose of farming them for content. I don’t think there is a recognizable alternative to ma’am and sir- I guess… “yo”? “You?” “You all over there?”
I am a cisgender woman, but as a kid i often had short hair and was misgendered regularly. It made me so unhappy. Once, i was at a renaissance fair and the knight rode up to my friend and i. They offered her a rose. When i reached for one, they pulled back and said "no, no, this is only for the ladies". I was crushed
Oh man that really sucks. That does remind me of tennis tournaments I play (I'm trans masc but because I'm a minor and in an not so accepting environment I play in the girls category), where they only give flowers to the girls and not to the guys. My guy friend was crushed when he didn't get flowers, he was super disappointed. I don't understand why we gender flowers, flowers are so enjoyable for everyone
I'm agender and AFAB ... but my voice sounds neutral... and I'm a gamer and masculine and I had people call me a boy or he/him ... and I'd go "I'm a girl" (Well before my egg cracked) but I was never bothered or uncomfortable being misgendered and I hated being forced into dresses and told to be a lady ... and when I grew up being called ms. and ma'am felt so weird
The pink haired interviewer bugs me because not only is he harassing people and jump-scaring them but also explicitly gendering people before asking their pronouns. Like just because someone presents feminine/masculine doesn’t mean they necessarily identify as female/male.
Also 29:10 I'm appalled that when the interviewer was given a pronoun they didn't expect they didn't accept it seriously, and prompted the responder to admit they are taking a piss. "Oh, that's funny! Good one!" This person could really have been trolling, but wtf, fam, you asked for pronouns and you were given pronouns, take them! Also the general mocking of the general concept of asking for pronouns wearing a full face of clown make-up?? I really, really don't like what I saw from that individual.
@@r2Gt06 yeah that bugged me too!! That would have been a great moment to show how to respect someone’s pronouns even if they don’t match what you think they are. She could literally have been a trans woman who hasn’t come out yet and this is the first step she’s taking towards exploring her gender identity. Or a cis woman with masculine presentation. Or an intersex person… even if it was someone trolling, going along with it and using the pronouns she gave taking her super seriously would have been - great way to deflect that trolling.
I agree though he was a bit less annoying in the second one apart from when that one person answered she and he did respect it though I do think that he thought that the person who answered was taking the piss but still
"Hey miss...miss...girls...ladies...mrs...ladies...girls........what are your pronouns?" Kinda defeats the whole point of asking before assuming stuff. Also if people don't wanna answer, leave them the hell alone!
Excuse me, miss, what... My friends just ignores the interviewer and walks on. Interviewer catches on, steps in front of my friend, and says: Excuse me! My friend: Yes? What are your pronouns? They/them So, interviewer, you've misgendered my non-binary friend.
I don't think it's the question that's upsetting folks. He's obnoxiously badgering people trying to get engagement. He needs to pull back a little if he wants to do these interviews. Seems way too desperate and annoying.
Yeah some of these interviewers are just way too aggressive. If someone came up to my trans self shouting at me "what are your pronouns?" I'd think they were trying to (at best) make fun of me, or (at worst) actively trying to make me feel unsafe around them. I've got social anxiety enough as it is, and almost universally anyone who asks "can I just ask you a question" with such gusto has not been a positive interaction.
Same, according to my anxiety, anyone who is visibly recording is immediately considered a "threat". If you approach me out of nowhere and ask my pronouns, I'm going to assume it's some kind of nasty "prank"
@@KiboSanti I may be generally against this whole trans thing, but all of this I can respect. I respect when it comes to boundaries and threat assessment. Know, that while I may be against you in terms of one thing, that if there is a greater threat, or even a lesser threat, I would put that behind, and focus on the task at hand. One of my threats is people trying to 'help' me. My own sisters carried me as a baby, I felt like they could have dropped me at any moment as one is a psychopath, and the other is unreliable and flakey.. That is evidentially terrifying. This whole trans thing is awful, but sometimes there is worse things.
I am trans and have autism. I have a service dog to help me with overstimulation in public. 100% if someone randomly came up to me like that demanding to know my pronouns Id be confused and scared and try to hurry away as fast as possible without answering. And yeah its mainly cause Ive seem other videos of these “can I ask you a question” youtubers and most all are huge trolling jerks. I think the Scottish guy is actually against lgbtq (I think Ive seen him in other hate videos and he dresses as a rainbow clown in this) so no Im not talking to him.
@@xBloodxFangx People that have problems with overstimulation are my friends.. allies even. Most people are untrustworthy, so.. even if I disagree on one thing, like for instance like you being trans or a part of the lgbt community, it is no different than you being a part of a different religious sect than me. People have different lives I deal with it. There just needs to be enough reason for me to care regardless, or at least to temporally put differences aside. As they say, there are no lasting enemies or allies, only interests, and people whom are 'autistic' probably have the aligned interests with my own, maybe not, but maybe.
Hey Jamie! She/her here. Thank you for asking. I will never get used to people that get bent out of shape over grammar. These are the same people that will absolutely go nuts if you accidentally misgender their pet or baby. Love watching you and Shaaba! Thank you both so much for some of the joy in my days!
I do laugh at these sometimes. A man at the start said they only use normal pronouns, but if you called him a woman or used she/her you know he’d lose his mind.
one time i had an old lady get mad at me because SHE misgendered MY baby and i didn't correct her. my daughter, bless her heart, was bald as a cue ball for the first year or so of her life and i didn't make it my mission in life to always outfit her in the frilliest pinkest bows and ruffles known to man. my husband and i took her with us to an estate sale one day and she was wearing a grey onesie with a teensie weensie pink bow at the neck, and blue jeans. nothing on her head. this old lady was gushing about how cute "he" was and how we must be so proud of "him" and i'm just like "mmhmm yep anyway..." but eventually my husband lets slip that she's a girl and this lady is like "UGH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO EARLIER? PUT SOME PINK BOWS ON HER HEAD SO IT'S MORE CLEAR SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL!" like... i do not care. and i know my INFANT doesn't care either. why are you mad at me because you made assumptions and found out you're wrong?
@@dietotaku LOL! I've had these crazy things happen when my son was young because he always had long hair. "Why would you let him have long hair? People will think he's a girl". Well that would be a you problem if you think hair has anything to do with gender. Babies are even funnier. "Is your baby a boy or girl?" Does it matter? My baby is just happy sucking on it's toes right now. Logic has no place in some people's world. 😆
i wish i understood why they care so much, do they ever question why they think calling a baby or dog a boy or a girl matters? it sure doesn't matter to the baby or the dog, they don't know anything about gender, they just wanna eat and get attention. and they want to claim we're the ones who care too much about gender and force it on kids when they force it onto babies the moment they're born
My little brother is autistic, and he really loves to use my pronouns (they/them). Therefore, if he sees someone who he thinks uses they/them pronouns, he will ask them what their pronouns are in order to find more people he can refer to by they/them. Most are very nice to him about it (Leo is very adorable so it’s hard to be upset at him). Edit: he likes to use my pronouns when he talks about me. Leo uses he/him. Edit 2: I showed Leo all your comments and he was so happy! Thank you all!
Omg… I thought you said your brothers pronouns were they/them, and I was so confused as to why you said “he” 😭 Also, that’s so wholesome… And me too, I use they them as well!
That interviewer with the pink hair made me extremely uncomfortable. Not only was he somewhat aggressive, he also didn't answer people who seemed to have genuine questions, he acted like it was a moral failure to not want to wave your pronouns out in public, and he used gender terms for the people he interacted with. If I was automatically gendered before being asked my pronouns I would be extremely upset. I'm also really upset by him going "your probably in the closet." Not only is that an extremely odd thing to tell people, it can also be dangerous or upsetting if a person truly is in the closet. Makes me very upset. Edit to add: they/them pronouns for me :D
And I might be the only person on the planet who hates that question specifically, but please don't get the wrong idea if someone says "I don't know! Ask me again in five years, after the therapy! Thanks for reminding me of my existential crisis!" and/or runs away quickly. Again, that person would be me, I understand I'm alone in this. Just, I exist lol
@@ElvenTinuviel Honestly, I am also often the same in real life. Online I am most comfortable with they/them pronouns, so I say those are the ones I use, but IRL? I would probably be right there with you running away quickly. My gender is simply queer, and my pronouns are "I genuinely don't know, please stop insisting I answer." I do like when there is an option to provide your pronouns, as it can be extremely helpful for a lot of people, but I don't like when I am asked and expected to give an answer. (I especially liked how Jamie did it, saying you could leave pronouns if you want, but there's no pressure to. It really made me feel better after being pressured literally that day to give "clear" pronouns.)
As a person on the autism spectrum, the interviewer with the pink hair made me pretty uncomfortable with their persistence. If I have headphones on in public I'm probably not in the state to handle any interactions with people, not to mention being pressured into conversation. If I have headphones on it's not impossible for that one interaction to push me into a meltdown/shutdown Also as per your request: I go by she/they, I've been going by those pronouns for around 5 years now and never want to go back.
I also felt very uncomfortable during the section with the pink haired person 😅 I hate it when street interviewers don't take no/silence for an answer. they know the person doesn't want to talk, but they push anyway. it's so uncomfy 😖 and mine are they/he ❤
These people who don't know what a pronoun is think they're fully qualified to decide what medical treatments certain people get to have. That's the world we live in.
The other day at church, my Pastor said "his, hers, or theirs" when referring to something during his sermon. There's two non binary people in our church that I know of, and I'm the only one who's out. The Church is non-affirming, but pro-acceptance. It meant so much to hear from the person preaching.
@@headphonesaxolotl His view on LGBT+ things is "this isn't how God designed the world, but it's how you experience the world. I believe it is wrong. However I believe it is MORE wrong to be disrespectful to you." I also suspect he is more positive about the T than the LGB, which is kinda wild. (He's also fine with aces--my husband and I have both been out as ace for years and he's very chill with it.) Affirming is having my view, which is God made us and loves us exactly as we are, and that it is not sinful to be LGBT+! 😊
@@j.apenrose7896I’ve noticed even some people who are VERY against pre-marital sex still be quite accepting of queer identities when their other, more traditional morals don’t apply to the situation. Eg mostly homophobic Christian’s being ok with asexual people, or anti-gay Christian’s accepting trans people the same way they’d accept someone with a disability. It’s not exactly ideal imho, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction for Christianity as a whole.
@@missnaomi613 The lead pastor is accepting, as are a few people in the congregation. Unfortunately not everyone is, but it's nice to be able to tell this people "hey, maybe chat to our Pastor about this, cos he's on my side here." It's steps in the right direction! 😊
wanna jump in here real quick to clarify that there are in fact people who genuinely only use their name and no pronouns. It might not be as common in the english language (or any language that has gender neutral pronoun options), but for example here in germany, I know many outside of the gender binary who prefer no pronouns
but I think that has more to do with the fact that German doesnt actually have any third-gender pronouns (i'm also a german speaker). Any third-gender pronoun in German would have to be newly invented and of course, people have a strong aversion to neo-pronouns
Lol yeah he's being such a dickhead too, sneaking up on people, passive aggressive, pushy, labeling anyone who doesn't know what the heck is going on as homophobes. stranger interviews are very intrusive, being filmed and posted is very dangerous for minors and people staying off the internet because of stalkers, and just being a minority or a woman and being shown off on the internet can be very targeting.
I'm a cisgender woman and I wear a she/her pin in my retail job despite never having been misgendered. I had someone ask me why I was wearing it and I explained that I'm trying to make it normal to share your pronouns because some trans people (like my son) aren't always comfortable/brave enough to correct people when they are misgendered. If people in positions of privilege make it normal, it helps others be more comfortable.
If a stranger with a camera started getting in my space and following me, I think I would start running. The interviewer with the pink hair is extremely scary
Like the one time a masc-appearing person said "she/her" that interviewer treated it as a joke. There's a good chance those were her actual pronouns and she's just not dressing gender conformingly or isn't out of the closet! 29:11
@@anthophylliteFr like he said, “ yeah okay sure that’s your pronouns😂” like this dude is 1. Disingenuous and 2. Creepy as hell. Interviewers already make me not like them and now I don’t like them even more. Those might’ve actually been her pronouns and he just decided that they weren’t and brushed her off like wtf
Although it can be funny, it does show the ignorance that leads to transphobia. These people have heard on the internet that "pronouns are woke and that's bad," leading them to walk around saying they don't use pronouns, without ever looking up what that word means.
@@devononair Yeah. I get quite upset with those people because of that. They clearly have no idea what they're talking about, and yet feel the need to spread their ignorant biases.
I didn't know 'I' was a pronoun. To be fair, I didn't properly learn the definitions or correct use of verbs, nouns, pronouns etc at school, which admittedly I should have. Not everyone is academic, though I did like English. I thought pronouns were used when referring to other people, not to yourself. I have massive social anxiety and am pretty much a recluse and avoid people. It's very polite and respectful to ask in a genuine consensual interaction, but someone coming up to me aggressively and trying to bully me into talking to them would scare me.
I think another reason in the video (at least with the pink haired man), it’s also possible some people didn’t answer because they were creeped out by a random man following them and potentially thought he had malicious intent. I got the sense that a few of the women were concerned that he might be a creep or were concerned with their safety.
In my school (I'm a teacher) we are asked to introduce ourselves with our pronouns if we're comfortable doing so, but not to ask students outright because it would out many of them who may not be ready. By using ours we show we're open to others sharing theirs. Thoughts?
Actually very helpful, some kids might feel pressured to make some sort of decision when asked point blank or answer with something that lets them socially conform rather than actually reflective of their genuine thoughts. Letting them approach you and giving them ways to do so means the kids who need to be referred to as something else can do so discreetly and without much fuss.
I don't think the Scottish guy realised how intimidating he was being to some of the people he approached. "Hey ladies, what are we talking about?", coming from behind, is going to get hackles and defences raised.
As a woman, watching that gave me so much anxiety. I've been in basically that situation (minus the microphone and "good" intentions) far too many times.
@@KimWest-ow5tw are you purposefully going out of your way to "trigger the libs" or something? ive seen your comments everywhere on this video and this type of content clearly isnt for you, so why? how joyless of a person do you have to be to dedicate hours of your life to stirring up hate from strangers online?
That dude being aggressive with it would not have gotten a good answer from me. I don't have a thing against asking pronouns in normal settings, but this is def not coming from a genuine place from him. 1- He's dressed like a clown. No thank you. 2- He's being unnecessarily aggressive and jump scaring people. F off with that. 3- He's just being obnoxious and rambling off his question. I have auditory issues, I too would be confused by "what'reyerprunames". It was even more cringeworthy when he did it to women, tbh. I was waiting for one of them to pull out mace/bear spray and just let him have it.
To answer the question asked: I’m a trans man and I typically use I/my when referring to myself but I want others to use he/him. Good news, I am no longer being misgendered by strangers, even after I talk! It’s an exciting time for me. Also, how fun is it that basic grammar is now a political issue?
most likely! I mean I refer to myself as "we" when thinking about stuff purely because it's a habit I picked up from watching let's play youtubers when I was a kid, e.g. "ok so we've gotta go throw the trash out first and THEN we can chill" Tho it may be related to ASD? I hear that it's a thing that people with asd feel like their thoughts are being monitored- as such i don't really feel like I'm ever thinking alone? Who knows!@@LW114YT
I have met one person who doesn't use pronouns in the sense of she/her, they/them, he/him, etcetera and requests to go exclusively by name, so when asked what pronouns should be used to refer to [name], [name] says "I use my name as my pronouns." [Name] was quite genuine about this and was definitely not just trolling or ignorant; if I recall correctly it had to do with individuality and how it relates to identity.
I use he/they/she pronouns and my friend goes by name pronouns as well but doesn't just say "I don't use pronouns," name will usually say "I use name pronouns" or "I use my name instead of pronouns." It comes off a lot differently and more genuine then people who are just trying not to say what their pronouns are because they 'don't believe' in pronouns.
I think asking someone their pronouns can be a very fine line between being inclusive and forcing someone to out themselves before they want to or having to lie.
This. Jamie not pointing this out feels weird. Also it sucks for most people. Having a camera shoved in your face when you just want to go about your business is quite the annoying thing, if not a panic trigger for some people
@@mandarinablue8438also their are trans ppl who try to go stealth, and being asked your pronouns basicly increase gender dysphoria because it can easily be taken as, you don’t look like such gender, can you confirm.
I'm a cis guy, but I'm okay with either he/him or they/them. I'm okay with the gender neutral forms because my gender isn't relevant in most interactions. And a virtual hug to Jamie for going through this despite his anxiety.
@@Rusticrogue17 Especially given how awful many parts of "traditional masculinity" are. I rather like being able to express emotions other than anger. My life is not centered around chasing lots of sex of dubious quality. Rambo is not what I'm shooting for. I am all in favor of you defining what being a man looks like to you.
When people ask, I go by "they/them". Otherwise I just let people go with calling me whatever they perceive. I live in a very Christian town and I don't like fighting with people. The last time I tried to assert my pronouns (and by "assert" I mean clarifying my they/them pin was in fact my pronouns) the person made a point to call me "ma'am" in every single sentence. Luckily I work overnights now and don't have to deal with the public anymore 🙃
That is so sad but relatable 😢 I'm sorry. I currently also live in a small conservative (home)town. I just go by whatever people call me. I do use 2 types of pronouns, one that matches my assigned gender and I do look the part often, so it's fine. I just have issues when people really try to box me in with that gender in all aspects when I'm not that. Like you said, they really try to push their view onto you and it's bad and tiring.
*She/her. I'm a cis mama and have a more or less traditional appearance, but I don't mind being asked. In fact, I sometimes think about getting she/her pronoun pins. Partly because they're appropriate for me, but also to laugh at transphobes if they purposely misgender me. Because I won't go into a dysphoric spiral, so I'd rather get misgendered rather than anyone in my vicinity who might feel really bad about it. *My 3 kids go by 1) they/them, 2) he/him, 3) she/her. *I'm glad there were as many nice responses as there were! *Someone (older than my 52 year old self) at my synagogue this weekend just said in the middle of casual conversation "I'm probably agender," and I love being part of a religious community where that's not an issue! 🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧🟦
I'm cis too, and I think cis people stating their pronouns or wearing pronoun pins is a good way to help normalize the whole thing. Make telling people your pronouns just as basic as telling them your name. I've noticed some people at my gynecologist's office wear pronoun pins, and I hope it helps patients feel more comfortable if they need to talk about possibly not being cis.
It’s def a conundrum, on one hand asking people what their pronouns are is a way to alleviate gender dysphoria, but on the other hand asking people what their pronouns create gender dysphoria. Imagine, a trans person who does everything in their power to be stealth and seen as their gender, then someone comes and says, “I don’t know what gender you are, what’s your pronouns.”
Yeah, and I think that that is a good reason to normalise asking pronouns even when they seem obvious. Because what you explain is a problem that we have because we have normalised assuming people's gender and many/most of us would only ask someone's pronouns if we're uncertain, so it makes sense that if someone gets asked their pronouns, they automatically wonder if it wasn't obvious, and it is never obvious, because people can present very manly/feminine/non binary and use different pronouns from their presentation. So, even if guessing/assuming someone's pronouns/gender gives you the right answer most of the time, we would be excluding millions of people. If we ask everyone's pronouns regardless if it's obvious or not and it becomes normalised, I think we wouldn't have these problems and, for instance, trans people who would like to pass wouldn't feel uncertain because of being asked their pronouns.
@@stylis666 Where as no assuming someone’s pronouns would also harm people. This seems like a catch 22. I do agree, that we have normalized this, but to change the culture around asking every time would in turn also cause harm to those in the camp of wanting their genders assumed and affirmed.
Also what if the person asked genuinely does not know which pronouns they prefer at that moment or doesn't want to talk about it due to not wanting to come out? You don't even have to know the preferred pronouns of a person you don't know. You can just use they/them or assume, not like they're ever gonna find out and get mad at it.
Addressing the „I don’t use pronouns“ thing, you said: In languages that don’t have an inherent neutral option (for example German), it is actually quite common for non-binary people to just go by there name and ask others not to use pronouns to address them. Especially in communities that don’t have the flexibility to learn neopronouns.
Since "I" is a pronoun, anyone who refers to themself as "I" by saying "I don't use pronouns" IS USING A PRONOUN. ABOUT THEMSELF. Perhaps they should say "I prefer not to have others refer to me with third person singular pronouns, but to use my name instead" if that's what they MEAN. Claiming "not to use pronouns" literally means that one would never say the words I, me, mine, you, yours, one, ones, he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, its, we, us, ours, they, them, or theirs. I suspect almost NO English speakers NEVER use ANY pronouns -- -in fact, I suspect almost all of the people who REALLY don't use pronouns are people who only speak languages that don't HAVE pronouns! If people choose not to have OTHERS refer to THEM with pronouns, they should ask for THAT.
@@starrywizdom I think you misunderstand their comment. They are talking about people who speak other languages not English. And when they say 'pronouns' here I think they mean specifically third person pronouns. I is a first person pronoun so somebody who doesn't use [third person] pronouns could still use first and second person pronouns. Unless you understood their comment and were just nitpicking semantics.
That Scottish guy really isn’t helping anyone, he was like going up to people and yelling at them which would be a terrifying thing to just happen to you and he kept on gendering people before they answered the question and would gender people differently then what they answered
Well... I use "I/Me". When people talk to me, they tend to use "You" and when people talk about me I would prefer "He/Him" but I don't have much control over that. I don't mind a "They/Them" and, hell, a "fae/faer" could be fun. I live a life rich in pronouns because ... I use language.
8:54 this dude seems genuine. he strikes me as a cis het dude who grew up in a very cis het normative culture. he didn’t speak with malice, and “what are your pronouns” is not a question that he would ever be asked
I personally find it uncomfortable when asked my pronouns, as a trans man. I often see people specifically asking visibly trans or androgynous people their pronouns, and I feel like I've been clocked when that happens. It also hurts that after all this time fighting to look, sound, act, etc like a man and pass, I still get people being like "what are you?" basically. Like...What am I doing wrong? I think a better way to go about it is to introduce yourself with your pronouns first if you want to start a discussion about pronouns, instead of putting it all on someone else. You never know if the person is closeted and has to give their agab pronouns, or if they're dysphoric about being clocked, or even if they have anxiety and don't want to be approached with a question like that. Then if someone wants to share their pronouns, they can, but if they don't want to, they shouldn't be expected to.
100% agree. Very well put. I always felt a bit uncomfortable with people asking, but couldn’t sort out what bothered me about it. You put it very eloquently.
Thank you. So much this. As a gay man, I'm tired of being asked by people (who can very well tell that i am male) what my pronouns are. I was androgynous growing up, and a lot of people would ask me if I was male or female - to me, this is just as rude, embarrassing, and invasive.
They/them in English, hen in the Scandinavian languages, elu in Portuguese, elle in Spanish, and in other languages just whichever is the most common non-gendered singular pronoun, whether it's long established or a neologism. And here comes the anxiety rant: Since I live my life switching between different languages, I always wish I instinctively knew how people want to be referred to internationally - I love people with unusual neopronouns in English, but the moment I'm talking about something fae said in, say, Norwegian, I stutter, because I don't know what the Norwegian equivalent of those pronouns would be. Likewise, my Norwegian and Swedish friends who use hen, hin, den - do they all prefer they in English? I do not know; I forgot to ask. I usually just default to they when it's English, and in other cases I'm hoping my own approach is the most common one: as long as it's not a gendered pronoun, I don't really care how people refer to me in a language I don't speak.
Switching pronouns between languages is so stressful I have no idea how to refer to myself in my first language cause I go by they/them in English but in my first language they/them is either masc or fem :(
@@Speilbilde I know a few people who prefer hin as well - to be honest I just went with hen because that's the one that most people I know had heard of, so it minimised the amount of explanation I had to do. Don't get me started on the dialect issue - I'm vaguely okay with "ho" even though I don't prefer it, but once someone says "hun", I am noping out. But that might just be my instinctive antipathy towards Sotherners.
Someone just wanting to be addressed by their name instead of pronouns happens a lot where I'm from (Austria). There are neuter pronouns, but they're usually used for objects or animals and have been historically used to strip people from their humanity, so many aren't really comfortable with those. There aren't really any "new" gender neutral pronouns that have gained popularity, so most enbies I know just stick to using all pronouns or just being called their name instead of them
Same in Germany obviously, the "new pronouns" are very rare, so just the Name. And most people put the English pronouns next to their Names in bios or online calls as far as I ve seen...
13:45 this reminds me of when i asked someone on my volleyball team their pronouns although they presented themselves very femininely, and they looked so happy when they told me they’ve never been asked that before and that they used they/them. i don’t think i can forget the joy in their face, especially when ive been in that scenario :)
For me it's just a matter of practicability. I'm 37 and have only once met a person whose pronouns weren't fitting their visible gender. So it's just easier for that one person to correct people, than if everyone asked each other all the time with no actual benefit in those thousands of cases.
Hi, Jamie, I'm she/her and they/them! As someone who is studying linguistics, I don't understand people who get mad at grammar, because languages have always been changing, and it's a natural process. If a language keeps on evolving, it's because it is alive.
Honestly though! Like language has always changed and evolved and things come and go. And that is only fair, that language and values and norms change with society. So many slurs that have been okay to use decades ago. Or with all the internet slang and jargon that comes and just spreads like a wildfire. It’s beyond me how ppl can be so whatever when it’s about hurtful words but at the same time full on rage when it’s about simple grammar. Like they made everything about gender and are now pissed when ppl at least wanna make it appropriate. Huge discussion in Germany right now with gendering.
@@cinnamonroll96 Same here in Portugal. I remember my Classical Culture teacher complaining that Portuguese has only 2 genders and the masculine should work as neutral, she was against any neopronouns, but I think it's okay. I mean, is it logical that a group has 99 women and 1 man, and because of that 1 man they have to refer to them in the masculine gender? I don't think so. She even said that Latin a neutral gender, but is completely against it in Portuguese. Why, if Portuguese evolved from Latin anyways? On Linguistics lessons, the teacher told us that Latin hasn't died, it just changed into the Romance languages we know nowadays. So, I don't see anything bad in getting back stuff from Latin.
If someone tries to ask me a question on the street while filming me, I probably wouldn't answer because I don't like being filmed, I don't like talking to strangers, and I don't want video of me posted publicly. I'd consider them including video of people who didn't engage to be a consent violation. Posting video of other people without consent is illegal in some countries.
@@rileysjonger4192 So you're willing to do things that clearly makes people deeply uncomfortable (because I'm telling you that it does now), purely for your own entertainment, just because "I'm legally allowed and technically you didn't ask me to stop"? Do you really want to be that type of person? Do you really want to be the person who requires someone that may have autism, social anxiety, a speech impediment, etc. to speak to you, before you stop doing the thing that you could've reasonably inferred makes them uncomfortable? Also, if you're filming someone who's uncomfortable being filmed, do you really think it's reasonable to require them to then also talk to you, while you're filming them, before you're willing to stop filming them? Never mind that they're already being filmed without their consent, while showing that they don't want that, so why would they expect that you'd respect their consent after they ask you to? If they engage with you and you post it anyway, that leaves them in a much worse spot than if they simply turned their head and kept walking (like a bunch of people in this video did). Try to have even just a smidge of empathy.
@@blueredingreenI absolutely get where you're coming from, I would also be very uncomfortable if someone filming came up to me on the street. Unfortunately for me and the unwilling participants of these clips, it's probably not breaking any UK laws as they stand (though I am not an expert by any means) and I doubt those laws could be easily changed without causing other bigger problems along the way. So we're kinda stuck with it!
@@purple-cho There are plenty of countries in Europe and elsewhere where you need consent to publish a picture or video of someone filmed in a public space. If anything, requiring consent actually seems a bit more common than not requiring it, both in the West and globally. Those laws manage to exist without making everything be on fire. There is this general sentiment that we need all the freedoms we have (even the bad ones) or everything will descend into dystopia, but often there are countries with laws against those things that do just fine. These are generally specific enough to avoid other problems, like you don't need consent to take a photo but not publicly post it, or if someone is an insignificant part of the photo, or if it's a public event like a parade.
For the people who are confused by the question, what came to me was the only time I heard the word "pronoun" was 9th grade English class (I'm old) so I can understand confusion. My pronouns are they/them but I was 50 years old before I knew that was an option. Love your videos Jamie
I am non-binary and use any pronouns, but if a person came up to me with that kind of demeanor, especially dressed as a freaking clown, called me "girl", "lady" or "sir", shoved a microphone in my face and asked me my pronouns, I would assume I was at being mocked at best. There is no way I would respond truthfully. Aside from the many things about that person's behaviour that would feel incredibly threatening to most afab people, he doesn't seem to understand that to non-binary people or anyone who doesn't "pass", truthfully answering that question would mean essentially outing yourself as trans, and on camera too! Why would I out myself to someone who already seems to delight in making people uncomfortable?
The closet theory is a valid theory. I hated people asking me my name in class in high school because I was too anxious to talk to my teachers about gender even though I was out as bi & they accepted that along with my femininity. The only bigots I came across in high school were boys & a few certain staff members. The teachers didn't understand LGBT stuff but I never faced blatant discrimination from them. I was much more accepted in the ladies room. That was only ruined when the staff got involved & forced me to use singular restrooms. They even put coaches in front of the public loos to keep trans people out. This was before the bill was passed here in Oklahoma that mandates keeping trans students out of the restroom of their gender.
Just wanted to point out that not absolutely everyone that prefers their name being used is being a butt about it. I know a couple of people with intellectual disabilities who genuinely find it far easier when people use their names instead of pronouns. (And yeah, I appreciate the irony of using neutral pronouns here, but I want to avoid naming anyone without permission!)
I was thinking of a similar thing, however, I think the reason for this particular person not using pronouns was because they (and yes, I realise the irony too) had been institutionalised and hated how it very much forgot them as a person, if you get what I mean? With medical models and whatnot, people tend to forget that it is a person and just completely removes the humanity, and I think it was a way of them saying "remember me", kind of thing.
I'm AFAB and 33. I've started using they/them recently. Had gender discomfort all my life, and realized i'm nonbinary in the last few months. I'm now out to my family and friends and couldn't be happier. I feel like I've been wearing the wrong sized clothes all my life, and now I'm sooo cosy in my body
I never really thought about asking about pronouns until the question started being asked in online spaces. As a she/her, I found I was misidentified a lot online as a he/him and really appreciate that we ask the question now.
What people have you met? I still get misidentified as a he on the internet all the time and despise it. It would be great if people asked me or just generally used “they”.
I use any pronouns. I've thought about this a lot - I'm agender and kinda fluctuate in what feels most accurate - but the only time I've ever truly felt misgendered is when I said I use any pronouns and got the response "Alright, but I want to make you feel included, so what are your pronouns?" I had to narrow down my pronouns, which felt really gross. I like some pronouns more than others (more for novelty's sake than anything), but so long as I know I'm being referred to, it works. I have a friend that swaps pronouns by whatever mood strikes them and, honestly, it's peak.
I probably wouldn't answer if someone came up to me on the street and asked my pronouns. I wouldn't assume that was the only question. I would assume it was a preliminary question, and I don't want to get into a conversation with a stranger with a microphone on the street. For the record: he/they
I am AFAB and go by they/them pronouns, and somehow I haven't ever interacted with those "Oh I don't believe in pronouns, there are only two genders!" people but I have heard some really stupid things regarding gay/lesbian people. Would love to never talk to any of the transphobes or homophobes. They can stay in their own twisted spaces.
Yeah, I've recently accepted being non binary, after struggling with it all my life and only learning the term when my son came out as trans. Unfortunately I live somewhere where they/them will start a rant of some kind more often than not, so until I can move away somewhere more accepting I'm stuck with she/her, just to keep the peace😕
@Nick-dx2pt I'm accepted in the circles I run in online, mostly, so that helps. And as soon as my niece is old enough to travel alone, I'll be moving for a fresh start. I'm just biding my time... It's awful that so many of us are in this position, I just console myself with the thought that there are less of us in hiding now than 20 years ago, and if that continues, eventually we'll all be safe to be ourselves 🤞🤞🤞
3:16 an autistic friend of mine actually doesn't like to use any pronouns and just wants to be called by name. It is a bit difficult to get used to, since I'd guess that most people aren't used to structuring their sentences that way, but with a bit of practice it's not too hard.
In an ideal situation, my pronouns would be they/them, but I'm in my 40s and have only known that non binary is a thing since my son came out as trans in his mid teens. Before that, i just thought that either everyone felt like I did and ignored it like I was doing, or that it was just because I'm weird (which I am, Fyi😂). Now I've finally got the word to describe my experience of gender it's bittersweet because nobody but my son and niece are accepting enough for me to even come out to. My sister has fallen into the terfosphere, my mother kind of accepts trans people, as long as they conform to the gender binary, but gets very angry about gender neutral people, and my entire town is full of backwards people who rant about things like this even though they have literally no knowledge (about most things, it seems)... so until I get the chance to move closer to my son, I'm stuck with she/her and keeping my mouth shut irl just so I don't have to debate people. Not fun.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I also figured out I'm non-binary in my late 30s. Totally relate. I was shocked to find out everyone else wasn't just faking their gender all the time. I wish you all the best getting out of your backward town.
I'm sorry, but if anyone is wearing headphones, it means "Don't bother me". As a woman I'd be so stressed if this person started heckling me while I had my headphones in.
Nah it's supposed to be obvious If I look 100% like a man, I have a beard or mustache and still someone comes asking me what my pronounce is I would not be mad but of course I would find it weird.
I have found it extremely rude, when a person of power/authority asked a person with less power/authority that sort of question. It is a sign of disrespect..
My US history teacher blatantly refuses to use my pronouns, (he/they). Any time I remind her those are my pronouns, she tells me she didn't know, and then continues to misgender me.* I have a presentation tomorrow and am considering calling her out in front of the whole class. I have one friend in that class who wholeheartedly supports me. I really want to do it, but I'm a little nervous. *Not that it should matter, but I don't live in a state where teachers are required to tell parents about their children being trans, and regardless, my mom supports me. Edit: thank you all for being so supportive. I didn't end up calling her out during the presentation. Maybe a cliche excuse, but it didn't feel like the right time. I felt a little bad for my presentation partner, as well, I didn't want him to have to stand up there while I said all that. I do kind of regret not doing it, especially with all your support. I'm sorry, I feel like I let you down. I wish I had said something. Any other ideas to aggressively correct her? Passive-aggressivness hasn't been working.
Then dare them to tell your mother, because I can see how that backfires. Also, just some cool facts/arguing points: Singular gender-neutral pronouns are also found in Shakespearean literature (Much Ado About Nothing - Act 3, Scene 4) - “God send everyone their heart's desire”- as well as found in the King James Bible (Philippians 2:3) - “In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves”. Furthermore, in Isaiah 43:10-11: “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he." If they accept God's pronouns, they should be able to respect yours!
Will calling her out in front of the class affect your grade? And if it does, will your mom back you up in fighting that? Another approach might be, the next time she says she didn't know, look her in the eye and say, "Yes, I've told you several times already. I feel very disrespected by the way you're ignoring my identity. Please call me what I am asking to be called." The important thing is to keep your tone of voice polite so that she can't accuse you of being disrespectful. You can even practice doing it beforehand by role-playing with a friend or your mom.
The entitlement is insane. If you care so much about what someone refers to you as, it’s clearly a *you* problem. Teachers especially have over more than 100 students, and you expect her to remember you and address you by whatever you want? Not to mention the need to have her bow down to your own opinions and ideology, completely disregarding the fact that she is a human being, with a job, and hundreds of people to deal with on a daily basis. Your pronouns are the least of her concerns, meanwhile on the other hand, it seems they are the focus of your entire life. The fact that you even admitted yourself that when she “misgendered” you, she said “I didn’t know.” speaks volumes, as she clearly could have just said “I’m not going to because I don’t agree with you.” or something else. Then again, you feel entitled to her keeping you on the back of her mind, when in reality you’re just another student in the thousands she has taught. The fact that you want to “call her out”….call her out on what? She may or may not disagree with you, and even then, she apologized to you every time, did she not? You’re an entitled brat who clearly has not been in the real world, and shame on you for wanting to ridicule an already stressed individual who has *actual* real-life issues to worry about. Also, just to ask. Are you a male or a female? Because you say your pronouns are “he/they”, so I’m assuming you’re a male….? But if your teacher is “misgendering” you, then that would imply you are a female? I’m not seeing the issue here. Either way, congratulations on making the most pathetic, idiotic, nonsensical and overall the most useless part of life (pronouns) the main focus of your entire existence. Really says something, doesn’t it?
My pronouns are they/them! I used to go by he/him but getting more comfortable with my identity and expression made me realize I'm not a binary trans man^^
I used to use any pronouns, but it just meant that almost everyone defaulted back to the assumed set :/ BUT I had one particular friend who was awesome at switching for me and I know exactly what you mean about euphoria!! It's such a small thing but it's like being told "I see you and I accept you" every time.
fr I really wish neopronouns were taken seriously and I wish more people would learn how to use them. I hate having to go by standard pronouns all the time and having to sacrifice my comfort so that other people don't have to take two seconds to actually learn.
Normally I just say He/Him for safety reasons, but if I know a person well I tell them I use He/Ram. Thanks for asking, Jamie. Hope the engagement helps!
@@Shoulderpads-mcgeeBasically, the set goes like ram/ram/rams/rams/ramself. "This is Commie, ram uses "ram/rams" pronouns. Ram is a fan of Jammidodger, are you one too?"
I'm 39, gender apathetic, and will accept any and all pronouns, but typically list as they/them, as that's what i prefer. The concept of what it means to "feel like a man/woman" just seems like gibbering nonsense upon even the slightest examination. I'd be much happier if i was built like a Ken (or better, Alan) doll downstairs. However, I get gendered as he/ him most of the time because I usually am too lazy to shave regularly, plus I get really bad razor burn. So I just don't. I guess having facial hair is inherently masculine presenting, and people don't seem to understand that my non-binariness doesn't owe anyone the androgyny they expect. I just want to wear a skirt, guys. I don't get why it's a problem (I'm in Oklahoma, so it's DEFINITELY a problem, apparently)
Oh, god, Oklahoma. My condolences. I've lived in several cities there and I couldn't tell you a single one that had any decent people in it - all the good ones either leave, are /forced/ to leave, or move deep into the sticks and don't talk to anybody. You shouldn't have to move to be safe, but I still hope a safe and accepting place is in the cards for you, OK or not OK. Also, if it brings you any comfort coming from an internet stranger, I've genuinely never met a person in my life who looked bad with a beard, regardless of presentation. Beards fucking rule. ESPECIALLY with literally any form of eye makeup, IMO :)
@@blueblynd685 I know plenty of good people here, but it's also a very big area that's very spread out. Gay panic and trans panic are still seen as viable defenses for doing horrible things here. If I had the money to leave I definitely would
@@thembill8246 Yeah, I believe you. I've experienced that firsthand from both angles. I'm know it doesn't mean much, but I'm genuinely sorry to hear you don't have the money to move. I'm in a similar boat, financially, or I'd offer to do something about it. I hope that it's only temporary, at least. Full sincerity, I wish you the best of luck and the utmost safety. The world can be scary, but you're absolutely right, there's plenty of good people in it.
I use they/them in English and recently I have started introducing myself with the adapted version in my native language (essentially neopronouns because there was no equivalent to singular they) and it made me feel so proud of myself Also there absolutely are people who don't use any pronouns. I recently met someone, lets pick the name Miles, who wants to be referred to by name. So when talking about Miles, i would just use Miles' name every time I'm referring to Miles. It takes some getting used to, but is possible when you stay conscious of the way you speak.
@@lucylane7397 The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. Students begin at the starting line. Once the test begins, the running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear the signal (beep). A single lap (length of the basketball court), should be completed when you hear this signal (ding). The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over.
@@lucylane7397Most genderfluid people go by any pronouns at anytime so you can probably go with whatever. If you can be bothered tho just ask or change them up if they correct you.
I'm a bit freaked out by the languages that throw gender onto everything, so it's cool to learn that there's one that is even less gendered than English.
He/they trans person here ! I actually know quite a few cis people who get offended when asked that question because they seem to assume it means people are misgendering them, as bizarre as that sounds. Like for example the cis woman I know who hates that question thinks that when people ask her that they can’t tell if she’s a man or a woman and she finds it insulting. I don’t get why people think that way tho, because 99% of the time, people who ask about pronouns are just trying to be polite and respectful
People think that way because they want their gender expression to be obvious and unquestioned. To be asked is a sign of politeness, yes, because the person asking doesn't want to misgender someone. But to be asked is also, equally, a sign of not being 100% sure (regardless of how polite they are), which to many people means their gender expression must be "off" if someone can't tell by looking at them. Not everyone, certainly, feels this way, and not everyone gets upset about being asked, but some cis and trans people who are trying very hard to express their gender in a very certain way don't like being asked because it feels like they're failing at their attempts to express their gender with their appearance.
Hi, I'm Eevee, I'm 30, and I use they/she/he pronouns! Most people I know IRL can't grasp the concept of using multiple pronouns interchangeably for one person, so I tend to say I use all pronouns but if you feel the need to use just one, please default to they/them rather than she/her (I am AFAB nonbinary and present fairly feminine).
My pronouns are they/it! Many people just get uncomfortable with the it/its as they think its objectifying, but like obviously I'm comfortable being referred to as "it" since its part of my pronouns!
In Finland everyone’s pronouns are they/it as our language does not have gendered pronouns. Though, our equivalent to the singular they “hän” is considered overly formal and is mainly used in customer service or for older people, so most of us are just referring to each other as it, or in Finnish “se”. 😂
@@WednesdayOrFridayIt's pretty much spoken language vs. writen language thing too I wonder how that even came to be in first place tho like were people just one day like ''You know what we should just start dehumanizing everybody''
@@WednesdayOrFridayYep, Finland is a funny place like that. Also all animals get addressed by "it", or should be at least.. In some circles it's getting more common to use "hän" for pets now, so maybe we'll swap the whole thing around one day 😆
I'm someone who does find it objectifying/dehumanizing, but that's only because that's how it was used by those around me growing up, which as someone who is very much an empath developed into not just being uncomfortable but makes me feel physically feel feel discomfort and anxiety when I use it/it's pronouns to refer to someone, I still respect and use everyone's preferred pronouns despite that
In english my pronouns are they/them or none. In German there isn't a right pronoun for me, so when people talk about me, they use my name instead of gendered pronouns.
Same problem in Dutch, we do not have proper singular gender neutral pronouns. Hen/hun (translation of plural they/them) is suggested and I've read them being used, or die/diens (normal use of die is translated as 'that' although you can use it for persons regardless of gender, but diens traditional translates as his). But the official rule is society still has to figure it out, until then use whatever you like. So last year, the Dutch translation of Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe was released and they left in the Spivak pronouns e/em/eir. These work well in Dutch, although I like to pronounce eir as the German ehr. Not a personal issue though, he/him for me.
@@christiaanterveen4633 I heard hen/hun being used in some cartoons, but would it be weird to use them when talking to somebody irl? (I‘m not Dutch btw just learning it. I don‘t know where else I can ask that question. lol)
To be fair to the person who put on their headphones and kept walking, I feel like that's a perfectly valid response to having a stranger with a camera and a microphone literally run up to you on the street.
I would have done the exact same
Probably what I'd have done too, like wtf
I mean the person even said "no" when asked "can I ask you a question," so at that point the interviewer should have just said alright and left
And also not put that on the video too like the person clearly didn't wanna be on it@@qa377
Same 😂
“Can I ask you a question?”
“No.”
*_Proceeds to ask question_*
Guy can't take the hint
Reminded me of:
"Yurio, you wanna hear a joke?"
"No!"
"Then listen!"
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You already did.”
Yeah, that interviewer just gave me bad vibes.
But also just sneaking up behind random women and scaring them, just to realize it's a man with a microphone is terrifying
I feel very uncomfortable when strangers stop me in public. I have enough anxiety just walking around. If I say no to being asked a question, and the person keeps pushing, I could start panicking. It doesn't matter the question.
Consent is a thing
Yes, I agree. I think this way of asking people is a bit off-putting
No thank you and keep walking is legit!
This is why when I see people that got a whole set up I stay away from them as far as possible. I'm not finna be the unlucky sucker that gets asked some rage bait stupid shit.
I do wish Jamie had spoken up more forcing a camera in people's faces and being respectful when people say no. He seems only really focused on the people giving transphobic answers, which, fair, but don't you think pestering people will turn them off even more from learning? Not to mention when the guy asked, he would start by using, "Ms, Mr, or Lady" kinda of making asking them pointless if you've already assumed.
Yeah. I mean, this is a social experiment, and I'm the same way. But if I'm talking to someone new, I'd rather they say "Hello. What's your pronouns?" than to have them say "Hello, ma'am."
The incredibly pedantic answer to "what pronouns do you use?" would be "I use all the pronouns. I have to, when I'm referring to different people."
Or "I, me, myself" would make my pedantic wee heart happy 😂
@@rossjennings4755 to different people and different things. "I'll pick it up for you."
Though I do know one person whose (among others) chose the pronoun "it", so that pronouns is not only got things (though it most often is). Well, I met it twice, I probably wouldn't recognise it, but it's a lovely person.
thank you for teaching me a new word omfg this is so funny too
The guy that went "OH SIR SIR SIR" or "Girls" like
you're asking for their pronouns but at the same time gendering them beforehand like????
Do you have a suggestion for a respectful neutral alternative?
@@terifrastustbh I’m not sure there is a respectful way to yell at strangers for the purpose of farming them for content. I don’t think there is a recognizable alternative to ma’am and sir- I guess… “yo”? “You?” “You all over there?”
@terifrastus "Hey there! I'm just asking people their pronouns, do you mind if I ask for yours?"
Seems pretty reasonable
"Pardon me!" is one of my go-tos. "Friend" also works.
"excuse me"
I am a cisgender woman, but as a kid i often had short hair and was misgendered regularly. It made me so unhappy.
Once, i was at a renaissance fair and the knight rode up to my friend and i. They offered her a rose. When i reached for one, they pulled back and said "no, no, this is only for the ladies". I was crushed
That's so rude even to not offer them to boys 🙁
Oh man that really sucks. That does remind me of tennis tournaments I play (I'm trans masc but because I'm a minor and in an not so accepting environment I play in the girls category), where they only give flowers to the girls and not to the guys. My guy friend was crushed when he didn't get flowers, he was super disappointed.
I don't understand why we gender flowers, flowers are so enjoyable for everyone
Are you serious? It’s a PLANT, why do we have to attach gender to EVERYTHING?!
I'm agender and AFAB ... but my voice sounds neutral... and I'm a gamer and masculine and I had people call me a boy or he/him ... and I'd go "I'm a girl" (Well before my egg cracked) but I was never bothered or uncomfortable being misgendered and I hated being forced into dresses and told to be a lady ... and when I grew up being called ms. and ma'am felt so weird
idk why people do that
roses arent gendered!
anyone can have a rose!
here! have a rose 🫴🌹
The pink haired interviewer bugs me because not only is he harassing people and jump-scaring them but also explicitly gendering people before asking their pronouns. Like just because someone presents feminine/masculine doesn’t mean they necessarily identify as female/male.
Also 29:10 I'm appalled that when the interviewer was given a pronoun they didn't expect they didn't accept it seriously, and prompted the responder to admit they are taking a piss. "Oh, that's funny! Good one!" This person could really have been trolling, but wtf, fam, you asked for pronouns and you were given pronouns, take them!
Also the general mocking of the general concept of asking for pronouns wearing a full face of clown make-up??
I really, really don't like what I saw from that individual.
@@r2Gt06 exactly!
Seriously!
@@r2Gt06 yeah that bugged me too!! That would have been a great moment to show how to respect someone’s pronouns even if they don’t match what you think they are. She could literally have been a trans woman who hasn’t come out yet and this is the first step she’s taking towards exploring her gender identity. Or a cis woman with masculine presentation. Or an intersex person… even if it was someone trolling, going along with it and using the pronouns she gave taking her super seriously would have been - great way to deflect that trolling.
I agree though he was a bit less annoying in the second one apart from when that one person answered she and he did respect it though I do think that he thought that the person who answered was taking the piss but still
"I'm a girl. I'm not trans. I have a boyfriend" kills. As if those things are mutually exclusive
Just a string of three non-sequiturs in a row 😂
It's just her gender, sex, and that she is attracted to men.
So she gave her gender, she's cis, and likes men.
Trans girls do have boyfriends, y'know...
@@starrywizdom yeah, hence not mutually exclusive.
"Hey miss...miss...girls...ladies...mrs...ladies...girls........what are your pronouns?" Kinda defeats the whole point of asking before assuming stuff. Also if people don't wanna answer, leave them the hell alone!
Dude shut up
Exactly. I avoid gendered addressing when greeting customers, unlike my colleagues who make assumptions...
Excuse me, miss, what...
My friends just ignores the interviewer and walks on.
Interviewer catches on, steps in front of my friend, and says: Excuse me!
My friend: Yes?
What are your pronouns?
They/them
So, interviewer, you've misgendered my non-binary friend.
They/them
I don't think it's the question that's upsetting folks.
He's obnoxiously badgering people trying to get engagement.
He needs to pull back a little if he wants to do these interviews. Seems way too desperate and annoying.
Yeah some of these interviewers are just way too aggressive. If someone came up to my trans self shouting at me "what are your pronouns?" I'd think they were trying to (at best) make fun of me, or (at worst) actively trying to make me feel unsafe around them. I've got social anxiety enough as it is, and almost universally anyone who asks "can I just ask you a question" with such gusto has not been a positive interaction.
Same, according to my anxiety, anyone who is visibly recording is immediately considered a "threat".
If you approach me out of nowhere and ask my pronouns, I'm going to assume it's some kind of nasty "prank"
@@KiboSanti I may be generally against this whole trans thing, but all of this I can respect. I respect when it comes to boundaries and threat assessment. Know, that while I may be against you in terms of one thing, that if there is a greater threat, or even a lesser threat, I would put that behind, and focus on the task at hand. One of my threats is people trying to 'help' me. My own sisters carried me as a baby, I felt like they could have dropped me at any moment as one is a psychopath, and the other is unreliable and flakey.. That is evidentially terrifying. This whole trans thing is awful, but sometimes there is worse things.
I am trans and have autism. I have a service dog to help me with overstimulation in public. 100% if someone randomly came up to me like that demanding to know my pronouns Id be confused and scared and try to hurry away as fast as possible without answering. And yeah its mainly cause Ive seem other videos of these “can I ask you a question” youtubers and most all are huge trolling jerks. I think the Scottish guy is actually against lgbtq (I think Ive seen him in other hate videos and he dresses as a rainbow clown in this) so no Im not talking to him.
@@xBloodxFangx People that have problems with overstimulation are my friends.. allies even. Most people are untrustworthy, so.. even if I disagree on one thing, like for instance like you being trans or a part of the lgbt community, it is no different than you being a part of a different religious sect than me. People have different lives I deal with it. There just needs to be enough reason for me to care regardless, or at least to temporally put differences aside. As they say, there are no lasting enemies or allies, only interests, and people whom are 'autistic' probably have the aligned interests with my own, maybe not, but maybe.
What are you on about bro, why are you even here if you're transphobic?@@Oysters176
"What are your pronouns?"
Me, a confused mess: "me, myself, and I"
Will Wood 👀?
I am 59 years old and just figured out that I am They/Them in the last five years.
good for you! i hope people are accepting of your identity :D
Unlucky
Good on you for figuring yourself out! Its never too late to start/change expressing the way you feel and are (◠‿◠)
Good it's never late❤❤❤
Congratulations! It’s never too late to discover who you are!
I set my sim's pronouns as 2nd person pronouns, everything sounds so passive agressive
"Linda earned §324 at work today, you did some great work too"
oh that is a good one. I input 'the Overlord' into the custom pronoun system when i made a vampire noble
@@NotAnEvilMastermind wait i need to do that omg
This is the way
sounds like somethong gladOS would say lol
This is actually hilarious
Hey Jamie! She/her here. Thank you for asking.
I will never get used to people that get bent out of shape over grammar.
These are the same people that will absolutely go nuts if you accidentally misgender their pet or baby.
Love watching you and Shaaba! Thank you both so much for some of the joy in my days!
I do laugh at these sometimes. A man at the start said they only use normal pronouns, but if you called him a woman or used she/her you know he’d lose his mind.
Fellow basic She/Her butch here.
one time i had an old lady get mad at me because SHE misgendered MY baby and i didn't correct her. my daughter, bless her heart, was bald as a cue ball for the first year or so of her life and i didn't make it my mission in life to always outfit her in the frilliest pinkest bows and ruffles known to man. my husband and i took her with us to an estate sale one day and she was wearing a grey onesie with a teensie weensie pink bow at the neck, and blue jeans. nothing on her head. this old lady was gushing about how cute "he" was and how we must be so proud of "him" and i'm just like "mmhmm yep anyway..." but eventually my husband lets slip that she's a girl and this lady is like "UGH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO EARLIER? PUT SOME PINK BOWS ON HER HEAD SO IT'S MORE CLEAR SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL!" like... i do not care. and i know my INFANT doesn't care either. why are you mad at me because you made assumptions and found out you're wrong?
@@dietotaku LOL! I've had these crazy things happen when my son was young because he always had long hair. "Why would you let him have long hair? People will think he's a girl". Well that would be a you problem if you think hair has anything to do with gender.
Babies are even funnier. "Is your baby a boy or girl?" Does it matter? My baby is just happy sucking on it's toes right now.
Logic has no place in some people's world.
😆
i wish i understood why they care so much, do they ever question why they think calling a baby or dog a boy or a girl matters? it sure doesn't matter to the baby or the dog, they don't know anything about gender, they just wanna eat and get attention. and they want to claim we're the ones who care too much about gender and force it on kids when they force it onto babies the moment they're born
My little brother is autistic, and he really loves to use my pronouns (they/them). Therefore, if he sees someone who he thinks uses they/them pronouns, he will ask them what their pronouns are in order to find more people he can refer to by they/them. Most are very nice to him about it (Leo is very adorable so it’s hard to be upset at him).
Edit: he likes to use my pronouns when he talks about me. Leo uses he/him.
Edit 2: I showed Leo all your comments and he was so happy! Thank you all!
Leo sounds like a great little guy.
That’s so cute I love that :3
Omg… I thought you said your brothers pronouns were they/them, and I was so confused as to why you said “he” 😭 Also, that’s so wholesome… And me too, I use they them as well!
Anyone who is rude to him can eat my knuckle sandwich
Thats adorable!!!
If someone with a microphone came up to me in the street shrieking "HEY MISSUS!" I'd run.
That interviewer with the pink hair made me extremely uncomfortable. Not only was he somewhat aggressive, he also didn't answer people who seemed to have genuine questions, he acted like it was a moral failure to not want to wave your pronouns out in public, and he used gender terms for the people he interacted with. If I was automatically gendered before being asked my pronouns I would be extremely upset.
I'm also really upset by him going "your probably in the closet." Not only is that an extremely odd thing to tell people, it can also be dangerous or upsetting if a person truly is in the closet. Makes me very upset.
Edit to add: they/them pronouns for me :D
Also not accepting a "no" when he asked "can I ask you a question"
And I might be the only person on the planet who hates that question specifically, but please don't get the wrong idea if someone says "I don't know! Ask me again in five years, after the therapy! Thanks for reminding me of my existential crisis!" and/or runs away quickly.
Again, that person would be me, I understand I'm alone in this. Just, I exist lol
@@ElvenTinuviel Honestly, I am also often the same in real life. Online I am most comfortable with they/them pronouns, so I say those are the ones I use, but IRL? I would probably be right there with you running away quickly.
My gender is simply queer, and my pronouns are "I genuinely don't know, please stop insisting I answer."
I do like when there is an option to provide your pronouns, as it can be extremely helpful for a lot of people, but I don't like when I am asked and expected to give an answer. (I especially liked how Jamie did it, saying you could leave pronouns if you want, but there's no pressure to. It really made me feel better after being pressured literally that day to give "clear" pronouns.)
fr, If I got headphones on leave me alone. I don't care what your question is.
I agree with everything you said, i felt really uncomfortable with all those interactions
As a person on the autism spectrum, the interviewer with the pink hair made me pretty uncomfortable with their persistence. If I have headphones on in public I'm probably not in the state to handle any interactions with people, not to mention being pressured into conversation. If I have headphones on it's not impossible for that one interaction to push me into a meltdown/shutdown
Also as per your request: I go by she/they, I've been going by those pronouns for around 5 years now and never want to go back.
Same. I'm reading the comments to detox so I don't cringe myself into a coma 😅 They made me so uncomfortable
He/him ❤🏳️🌈
I also felt very uncomfortable during the section with the pink haired person 😅 I hate it when street interviewers don't take no/silence for an answer. they know the person doesn't want to talk, but they push anyway. it's so uncomfy 😖 and mine are they/he ❤
These people who don't know what a pronoun is think they're fully qualified to decide what medical treatments certain people get to have. That's the world we live in.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT BUT I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HAVE IT
i got ice cream today and someone called me 'he' im so happy
Yay!🏳️⚧️
r u a tv girl fan
@@spiderman23231 wut
@@spiderman23231 yes
AHHHH YAY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!
The other day at church, my Pastor said "his, hers, or theirs" when referring to something during his sermon. There's two non binary people in our church that I know of, and I'm the only one who's out. The Church is non-affirming, but pro-acceptance. It meant so much to hear from the person preaching.
difference between affirming and acceptance?
@@headphonesaxolotl His view on LGBT+ things is "this isn't how God designed the world, but it's how you experience the world. I believe it is wrong. However I believe it is MORE wrong to be disrespectful to you." I also suspect he is more positive about the T than the LGB, which is kinda wild. (He's also fine with aces--my husband and I have both been out as ace for years and he's very chill with it.)
Affirming is having my view, which is God made us and loves us exactly as we are, and that it is not sinful to be LGBT+! 😊
@@j.apenrose7896 isn't it great to be part of an accepting religious community? I'm completely with you on this issue!
@@j.apenrose7896I’ve noticed even some people who are VERY against pre-marital sex still be quite accepting of queer identities when their other, more traditional morals don’t apply to the situation. Eg mostly homophobic Christian’s being ok with asexual people, or anti-gay Christian’s accepting trans people the same way they’d accept someone with a disability.
It’s not exactly ideal imho, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction for Christianity as a whole.
@@missnaomi613 The lead pastor is accepting, as are a few people in the congregation. Unfortunately not everyone is, but it's nice to be able to tell this people "hey, maybe chat to our Pastor about this, cos he's on my side here." It's steps in the right direction! 😊
wanna jump in here real quick to clarify that there are in fact people who genuinely only use their name and no pronouns. It might not be as common in the english language (or any language that has gender neutral pronoun options), but for example here in germany, I know many outside of the gender binary who prefer no pronouns
but I think that has more to do with the fact that German doesnt actually have any third-gender pronouns (i'm also a german speaker). Any third-gender pronoun in German would have to be newly invented and of course, people have a strong aversion to neo-pronouns
Yes
Is their name Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla by chance?
Yeah, friend of mine uses they/them in English and direct speech by using their name in German 👍
I just asked my German friend about this, and their answer was basically that to be neutral you have to siezen your friends and family?.. yeah, f that
Guy with the pink hair is hella counterproductive going "hey MISTER/LADY!" Before knowing people's pronouns??
Lol yeah he's being such a dickhead too, sneaking up on people, passive aggressive, pushy, labeling anyone who doesn't know what the heck is going on as homophobes. stranger interviews are very intrusive, being filmed and posted is very dangerous for minors and people staying off the internet because of stalkers, and just being a minority or a woman and being shown off on the internet can be very targeting.
I have phobia for clowns so I would have full on panic attack if the Scottish guy in clowncostume chased me with questions
Same, I fear social interactions mostly 😭
I'm not sure if I would scream and run, deck him, or just pass out to be honest. All three could possibly occur simultaneously.
@@slimyboixd lol the trio, fight, flight, or freeze
I'm a cisgender woman and I wear a she/her pin in my retail job despite never having been misgendered. I had someone ask me why I was wearing it and I explained that I'm trying to make it normal to share your pronouns because some trans people (like my son) aren't always comfortable/brave enough to correct people when they are misgendered. If people in positions of privilege make it normal, it helps others be more comfortable.
Power to you
amazing :)
You win the award for the most wholesome comment! =)
😂 cis isn't a thing. You're just a woman.
WE LOVE YOU QUEEN
If a stranger with a camera started getting in my space and following me, I think I would start running. The interviewer with the pink hair is extremely scary
Like the one time a masc-appearing person said "she/her" that interviewer treated it as a joke. There's a good chance those were her actual pronouns and she's just not dressing gender conformingly or isn't out of the closet! 29:11
@@aetoreousIt is really sad. I hate that this interviewer is so extremely unaware.
@@anthophylliteFr like he said, “ yeah okay sure that’s your pronouns😂” like this dude is 1. Disingenuous and 2. Creepy as hell. Interviewers already make me not like them and now I don’t like them even more. Those might’ve actually been her pronouns and he just decided that they weren’t and brushed her off like wtf
"I don't use pronouns."
Really mate? Because I could have sworn you started your sentence with one.
He’s been bamboozled.
@nautje
hey [name] doesn't use pronouns
Although it can be funny, it does show the ignorance that leads to transphobia. These people have heard on the internet that "pronouns are woke and that's bad," leading them to walk around saying they don't use pronouns, without ever looking up what that word means.
@@devononair Yeah. I get quite upset with those people because of that. They clearly have no idea what they're talking about, and yet feel the need to spread their ignorant biases.
I didn't know 'I' was a pronoun. To be fair, I didn't properly learn the definitions or correct use of verbs, nouns, pronouns etc at school, which admittedly I should have. Not everyone is academic, though I did like English.
I thought pronouns were used when referring to other people, not to yourself. I have massive social anxiety and am pretty much a recluse and avoid people. It's very polite and respectful to ask in a genuine consensual interaction, but someone coming up to me aggressively and trying to bully me into talking to them would scare me.
I think another reason in the video (at least with the pink haired man), it’s also possible some people didn’t answer because they were creeped out by a random man following them and potentially thought he had malicious intent. I got the sense that a few of the women were concerned that he might be a creep or were concerned with their safety.
Especially with how he came up to them
"excuse me miss/mister/ladies what are your pronouns?" 💀
I soooooo wanted to see someone answer with they/them and that guy apologising for assuming
In my school (I'm a teacher) we are asked to introduce ourselves with our pronouns if we're comfortable doing so, but not to ask students outright because it would out many of them who may not be ready. By using ours we show we're open to others sharing theirs. Thoughts?
This sounds great! It shows the students that school is a safe space to express themselves, which helps a lot of closeted people!
Actually very helpful, some kids might feel pressured to make some sort of decision when asked point blank or answer with something that lets them socially conform rather than actually reflective of their genuine thoughts. Letting them approach you and giving them ways to do so means the kids who need to be referred to as something else can do so discreetly and without much fuss.
Amazing!
I’ve never thought of that! I’ll start introducing myself with my pronouns more in group spaces :) /gen
yeah thats great! most of the teachers passmout little forms at the begining of the year so the kids dont have to tell the whole class.
I don't think the Scottish guy realised how intimidating he was being to some of the people he approached. "Hey ladies, what are we talking about?", coming from behind, is going to get hackles and defences raised.
He knew. His videos felt more focused on the Boratesque antics than the actual question.
As a woman, watching that gave me so much anxiety. I've been in basically that situation (minus the microphone and "good" intentions) far too many times.
He was being unreasonably obnoxious
@@divergentdreamer what is a woman?
@@KimWest-ow5tw are you purposefully going out of your way to "trigger the libs" or something? ive seen your comments everywhere on this video and this type of content clearly isnt for you, so why? how joyless of a person do you have to be to dedicate hours of your life to stirring up hate from strangers online?
That dude being aggressive with it would not have gotten a good answer from me. I don't have a thing against asking pronouns in normal settings, but this is def not coming from a genuine place from him.
1- He's dressed like a clown. No thank you.
2- He's being unnecessarily aggressive and jump scaring people. F off with that.
3- He's just being obnoxious and rambling off his question. I have auditory issues, I too would be confused by "what'reyerprunames".
It was even more cringeworthy when he did it to women, tbh. I was waiting for one of them to pull out mace/bear spray and just let him have it.
2:28 I like how when you Google "usna pronouns", most of the results are about how the US Navy is trans-supportive.
That’s pretty cool! Unfortunately my dad in the navy is transphobic but that gives me hope that my grandpa is an ally
That's actually really funny
I’m a trans guy and I go by He/Him/his
see? its as simple as this! i find it hilarious that some people get so heated over it
So do snakes hisssss
Your a girl
@@elskaalfhollr4743yes that question is unrelated
@@supermangarritano6636 was trying to say the funny :”)
I didn't like how insistant that last guy was at first, but the "I don't do pronouns" one was absolute gold.
Even before he admitted to knowing exactly what he was being asked, like. Buddy do I have some news for you about the word "I" 😂
The person with the pink hair could learn an extra lesson in respecting the word "no".
To answer the question asked: I’m a trans man and I typically use I/my when referring to myself but I want others to use he/him. Good news, I am no longer being misgendered by strangers, even after I talk! It’s an exciting time for me.
Also, how fun is it that basic grammar is now a political issue?
Genuine question: doesn't everyone refer to themselves with I/my? Apart from maybe people with DID
most likely!
I mean I refer to myself as "we" when thinking about stuff purely because it's a habit I picked up from watching let's play youtubers when I was a kid, e.g. "ok so we've gotta go throw the trash out first and THEN we can chill"
Tho it may be related to ASD? I hear that it's a thing that people with asd feel like their thoughts are being monitored- as such i don't really feel like I'm ever thinking alone?
Who knows!@@LW114YT
@@LW114YTEveryone I’ve met has but you never know when you’ll meet that one person who refers to themselves in the third person.
5:47 Not the ‘I don’t believe in human rights but no judgement to those who do’ LIKE THANKS A LOT FOR CLEARING THINGS UP
lmao yes
I have met one person who doesn't use pronouns in the sense of she/her, they/them, he/him, etcetera and requests to go exclusively by name, so when asked what pronouns should be used to refer to [name], [name] says "I use my name as my pronouns." [Name] was quite genuine about this and was definitely not just trolling or ignorant; if I recall correctly it had to do with individuality and how it relates to identity.
I use he/they/she pronouns and my friend goes by name pronouns as well but doesn't just say "I don't use pronouns," name will usually say "I use name pronouns" or "I use my name instead of pronouns." It comes off a lot differently and more genuine then people who are just trying not to say what their pronouns are because they 'don't believe' in pronouns.
Isn't that the whole point of pronouns though? So that someone doesn't have to say your name over and over again when talking about you?
exactly@@MacaronAddiction
Generally, that is the purpose, but some people prefer to go by purely name for various reasons.@@0XBlondie96X0
I think asking someone their pronouns can be a very fine line between being inclusive and forcing someone to out themselves before they want to or having to lie.
This. Jamie not pointing this out feels weird. Also it sucks for most people. Having a camera shoved in your face when you just want to go about your business is quite the annoying thing, if not a panic trigger for some people
@@mandarinablue8438also their are trans ppl who try to go stealth, and being asked your pronouns basicly increase gender dysphoria because it can easily be taken as, you don’t look like such gender, can you confirm.
@@mandarinablue8438yeah but sadly it’s been normalized because of UA-cam
I'm a cis guy, but I'm okay with either he/him or they/them. I'm okay with the gender neutral forms because my gender isn't relevant in most interactions.
And a virtual hug to Jamie for going through this despite his anxiety.
Right on! Love when cis people play around with their pronouns or are pretty casual with them. It can be for everyone
I'm she/her, but also don't mind they/them. As long as the person is being respectful they could call me "that lovely peasant there."
I’m cis he/him and masculine presenting, but have been pondering he/they out of a sense of just saying “fuck off” to gender restraints.
@@Rusticrogue17 Especially given how awful many parts of "traditional masculinity" are. I rather like being able to express emotions other than anger. My life is not centered around chasing lots of sex of dubious quality. Rambo is not what I'm shooting for. I am all in favor of you defining what being a man looks like to you.
This is the first time I've seen fellow cis people using pronouns other than she/her or he/him!
I'm a cis girly but I use any pronouns \(･◡･)/
When people ask, I go by "they/them". Otherwise I just let people go with calling me whatever they perceive. I live in a very Christian town and I don't like fighting with people. The last time I tried to assert my pronouns (and by "assert" I mean clarifying my they/them pin was in fact my pronouns) the person made a point to call me "ma'am" in every single sentence. Luckily I work overnights now and don't have to deal with the public anymore 🙃
The night owl routine is something I dream of.
@@KeepTheAngerFlowingthem you’re doing it wrong, you’re supposed to be awake
(Terrible joke I’m so sorry)
lol what do people think your they/them pin is? the pronouns of your cousin? the new version of "them there hills" ??
@@boltzmail8805 nah that was good 😂😂
That is so sad but relatable 😢 I'm sorry. I currently also live in a small conservative (home)town.
I just go by whatever people call me. I do use 2 types of pronouns, one that matches my assigned gender and I do look the part often, so it's fine. I just have issues when people really try to box me in with that gender in all aspects when I'm not that. Like you said, they really try to push their view onto you and it's bad and tiring.
*She/her. I'm a cis mama and have a more or less traditional appearance, but I don't mind being asked. In fact, I sometimes think about getting she/her pronoun pins. Partly because they're appropriate for me, but also to laugh at transphobes if they purposely misgender me. Because I won't go into a dysphoric spiral, so I'd rather get misgendered rather than anyone in my vicinity who might feel really bad about it.
*My 3 kids go by 1) they/them, 2) he/him, 3) she/her.
*I'm glad there were as many nice responses as there were!
*Someone (older than my 52 year old self) at my synagogue this weekend just said in the middle of casual conversation "I'm probably agender," and I love being part of a religious community where that's not an issue!
🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧🟦
Woah you collected the whole set (saying this positively, I am a they)
@@notareallifetiger4817 yeah, I'm a lucky mama!
hehe, it's so cool you got the main 3! (she/they)
I'm cis too, and I think cis people stating their pronouns or wearing pronoun pins is a good way to help normalize the whole thing. Make telling people your pronouns just as basic as telling them your name. I've noticed some people at my gynecologist's office wear pronoun pins, and I hope it helps patients feel more comfortable if they need to talk about possibly not being cis.
It’s def a conundrum, on one hand asking people what their pronouns are is a way to alleviate gender dysphoria, but on the other hand asking people what their pronouns create gender dysphoria.
Imagine, a trans person who does everything in their power to be stealth and seen as their gender, then someone comes and says, “I don’t know what gender you are, what’s your pronouns.”
Well said. I think Jamie needs to rethink this one a bit to be more inclusive.
Yeah, and I think that that is a good reason to normalise asking pronouns even when they seem obvious. Because what you explain is a problem that we have because we have normalised assuming people's gender and many/most of us would only ask someone's pronouns if we're uncertain, so it makes sense that if someone gets asked their pronouns, they automatically wonder if it wasn't obvious, and it is never obvious, because people can present very manly/feminine/non binary and use different pronouns from their presentation. So, even if guessing/assuming someone's pronouns/gender gives you the right answer most of the time, we would be excluding millions of people.
If we ask everyone's pronouns regardless if it's obvious or not and it becomes normalised, I think we wouldn't have these problems and, for instance, trans people who would like to pass wouldn't feel uncertain because of being asked their pronouns.
@@stylis666 Where as no assuming someone’s pronouns would also harm people. This seems like a catch 22.
I do agree, that we have normalized this, but to change the culture around asking every time would in turn also cause harm to those in the camp of wanting their genders assumed and affirmed.
Also what if the person asked genuinely does not know which pronouns they prefer at that moment or doesn't want to talk about it due to not wanting to come out? You don't even have to know the preferred pronouns of a person you don't know. You can just use they/them or assume, not like they're ever gonna find out and get mad at it.
My pronouns are whatever I end up landing on once I've actually figured myself out. She/Her for now
Cool. Being an egg is stressful enough for anyone. I hope that you find your wings and turn into the most spectacular butterfly.
thats so cute!!!
Good luck on your journey of self-discovery!
Totally same
Valid answer! 🙏❤🏳⚧🏳🌈
Addressing the „I don’t use pronouns“ thing, you said:
In languages that don’t have an inherent neutral option (for example German), it is actually quite common for non-binary people to just go by there name and ask others not to use pronouns to address them. Especially in communities that don’t have the flexibility to learn neopronouns.
Since "I" is a pronoun, anyone who refers to themself as "I" by saying "I don't use pronouns" IS USING A PRONOUN. ABOUT THEMSELF. Perhaps they should say "I prefer not to have others refer to me with third person singular pronouns, but to use my name instead" if that's what they MEAN. Claiming "not to use pronouns" literally means that one would never say the words I, me, mine, you, yours, one, ones, he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, its, we, us, ours, they, them, or theirs. I suspect almost NO English speakers NEVER use ANY pronouns -- -in fact, I suspect almost all of the people who REALLY don't use pronouns are people who only speak languages that don't HAVE pronouns! If people choose not to have OTHERS refer to THEM with pronouns, they should ask for THAT.
@@starrywizdom
I think you misunderstand their comment. They are talking about people who speak other languages not English. And when they say 'pronouns' here I think they mean specifically third person pronouns. I is a first person pronoun so somebody who doesn't use [third person] pronouns could still use first and second person pronouns.
Unless you understood their comment and were just nitpicking semantics.
That Scottish guy really isn’t helping anyone, he was like going up to people and yelling at them which would be a terrifying thing to just happen to you and he kept on gendering people before they answered the question and would gender people differently then what they answered
Well... I use "I/Me". When people talk to me, they tend to use "You" and when people talk about me I would prefer "He/Him" but I don't have much control over that. I don't mind a "They/Them" and, hell, a "fae/faer" could be fun. I live a life rich in pronouns because ... I use language.
8:54 this dude seems genuine. he strikes me as a cis het dude who grew up in a very cis het normative culture.
he didn’t speak with malice, and “what are your pronouns” is not a question that he would ever be asked
I personally find it uncomfortable when asked my pronouns, as a trans man. I often see people specifically asking visibly trans or androgynous people their pronouns, and I feel like I've been clocked when that happens. It also hurts that after all this time fighting to look, sound, act, etc like a man and pass, I still get people being like "what are you?" basically. Like...What am I doing wrong?
I think a better way to go about it is to introduce yourself with your pronouns first if you want to start a discussion about pronouns, instead of putting it all on someone else. You never know if the person is closeted and has to give their agab pronouns, or if they're dysphoric about being clocked, or even if they have anxiety and don't want to be approached with a question like that. Then if someone wants to share their pronouns, they can, but if they don't want to, they shouldn't be expected to.
100% agree. Very well put.
I always felt a bit uncomfortable with people asking, but couldn’t sort out what bothered me about it. You put it very eloquently.
Thank you. So much this.
As a gay man, I'm tired of being asked by people (who can very well tell that i am male) what my pronouns are.
I was androgynous growing up, and a lot of people would ask me if I was male or female - to me, this is just as rude, embarrassing, and invasive.
They/them in English, hen in the Scandinavian languages, elu in Portuguese, elle in Spanish, and in other languages just whichever is the most common non-gendered singular pronoun, whether it's long established or a neologism.
And here comes the anxiety rant:
Since I live my life switching between different languages, I always wish I instinctively knew how people want to be referred to internationally - I love people with unusual neopronouns in English, but the moment I'm talking about something fae said in, say, Norwegian, I stutter, because I don't know what the Norwegian equivalent of those pronouns would be. Likewise, my Norwegian and Swedish friends who use hen, hin, den - do they all prefer they in English? I do not know; I forgot to ask. I usually just default to they when it's English, and in other cases I'm hoping my own approach is the most common one: as long as it's not a gendered pronoun, I don't really care how people refer to me in a language I don't speak.
they is neutral so you can always use that if you dont know
in swedish use hen or dem if you dont know
Switching pronouns between languages is so stressful I have no idea how to refer to myself in my first language cause I go by they/them in English but in my first language they/them is either masc or fem :(
I'm a Norwegian they/them (and she/her) and don't really like "hen". I prefer the swedish "hin" to ours a lot or, I suppose, "de". It's difficult :D
@@Speilbilde I know a few people who prefer hin as well - to be honest I just went with hen because that's the one that most people I know had heard of, so it minimised the amount of explanation I had to do.
Don't get me started on the dialect issue - I'm vaguely okay with "ho" even though I don't prefer it, but once someone says "hun", I am noping out. But that might just be my instinctive antipathy towards Sotherners.
Yess this situation. As someone who uses multiple languages, I relate. (French, English, Portuguese)
The guy who said him/the man/the boss/that guy was so real for that, honestly
Because Jamie asked, my pronouns are he/they
Edit: My pronouns are now he/she/they, and I'm genderfluid
Twinsies!
Same! (Currently exploring my gender Identity)
Whatever the one for three is!!!!😊
Cause mine are he-they too
We twinning hell yeah
Someone just wanting to be addressed by their name instead of pronouns happens a lot where I'm from (Austria). There are neuter pronouns, but they're usually used for objects or animals and have been historically used to strip people from their humanity, so many aren't really comfortable with those. There aren't really any "new" gender neutral pronouns that have gained popularity, so most enbies I know just stick to using all pronouns or just being called their name instead of them
I was about to say that. The person answering seemed genuine.
Same in Germany obviously, the "new pronouns" are very rare, so just the Name. And most people put the English pronouns next to their Names in bios or online calls as far as I ve seen...
Thank you for this interesting context.
A similar thing is happening in Russian language, but I've seen people trying to use the plural they in singural.
Yeah, kinda sucks in germanspeaking countries
13:45 this reminds me of when i asked someone on my volleyball team their pronouns although they presented themselves very femininely, and they looked so happy when they told me they’ve never been asked that before and that they used they/them. i don’t think i can forget the joy in their face, especially when ive been in that scenario :)
For me it's just a matter of practicability. I'm 37 and have only once met a person whose pronouns weren't fitting their visible gender. So it's just easier for that one person to correct people, than if everyone asked each other all the time with no actual benefit in those thousands of cases.
Hi, Jamie, I'm she/her and they/them!
As someone who is studying linguistics, I don't understand people who get mad at grammar, because languages have always been changing, and it's a natural process. If a language keeps on evolving, it's because it is alive.
Honestly though! Like language has always changed and evolved and things come and go. And that is only fair, that language and values and norms change with society. So many slurs that have been okay to use decades ago. Or with all the internet slang and jargon that comes and just spreads like a wildfire. It’s beyond me how ppl can be so whatever when it’s about hurtful words but at the same time full on rage when it’s about simple grammar. Like they made everything about gender and are now pissed when ppl at least wanna make it appropriate. Huge discussion in Germany right now with gendering.
A fellow she/they! Hello!
@@cinnamonroll96 Same here in Portugal. I remember my Classical Culture teacher complaining that Portuguese has only 2 genders and the masculine should work as neutral, she was against any neopronouns, but I think it's okay. I mean, is it logical that a group has 99 women and 1 man, and because of that 1 man they have to refer to them in the masculine gender? I don't think so. She even said that Latin a neutral gender, but is completely against it in Portuguese. Why, if Portuguese evolved from Latin anyways? On Linguistics lessons, the teacher told us that Latin hasn't died, it just changed into the Romance languages we know nowadays. So, I don't see anything bad in getting back stuff from Latin.
@@Azziyaisalwaysonline Hello!
If someone tries to ask me a question on the street while filming me, I probably wouldn't answer because I don't like being filmed, I don't like talking to strangers, and I don't want video of me posted publicly.
I'd consider them including video of people who didn't engage to be a consent violation. Posting video of other people without consent is illegal in some countries.
Sure but no one explicitly said, "don't film me". People are allowed to record in public.
@@rileysjonger4192 So you're willing to do things that clearly makes people deeply uncomfortable (because I'm telling you that it does now), purely for your own entertainment, just because "I'm legally allowed and technically you didn't ask me to stop"? Do you really want to be that type of person?
Do you really want to be the person who requires someone that may have autism, social anxiety, a speech impediment, etc. to speak to you, before you stop doing the thing that you could've reasonably inferred makes them uncomfortable?
Also, if you're filming someone who's uncomfortable being filmed, do you really think it's reasonable to require them to then also talk to you, while you're filming them, before you're willing to stop filming them? Never mind that they're already being filmed without their consent, while showing that they don't want that, so why would they expect that you'd respect their consent after they ask you to? If they engage with you and you post it anyway, that leaves them in a much worse spot than if they simply turned their head and kept walking (like a bunch of people in this video did). Try to have even just a smidge of empathy.
@@blueredingreenI absolutely get where you're coming from, I would also be very uncomfortable if someone filming came up to me on the street. Unfortunately for me and the unwilling participants of these clips, it's probably not breaking any UK laws as they stand (though I am not an expert by any means) and I doubt those laws could be easily changed without causing other bigger problems along the way. So we're kinda stuck with it!
@@purple-cho There are plenty of countries in Europe and elsewhere where you need consent to publish a picture or video of someone filmed in a public space. If anything, requiring consent actually seems a bit more common than not requiring it, both in the West and globally.
Those laws manage to exist without making everything be on fire. There is this general sentiment that we need all the freedoms we have (even the bad ones) or everything will descend into dystopia, but often there are countries with laws against those things that do just fine. These are generally specific enough to avoid other problems, like you don't need consent to take a photo but not publicly post it, or if someone is an insignificant part of the photo, or if it's a public event like a parade.
@@rileysjonger4192Consent is not a lack of a no.
For the people who are confused by the question, what came to me was the only time I heard the word "pronoun" was 9th grade English class (I'm old) so I can understand confusion. My pronouns are they/them but I was 50 years old before I knew that was an option. Love your videos Jamie
I am non-binary and use any pronouns, but if a person came up to me with that kind of demeanor, especially dressed as a freaking clown, called me "girl", "lady" or "sir", shoved a microphone in my face and asked me my pronouns, I would assume I was at being mocked at best. There is no way I would respond truthfully. Aside from the many things about that person's behaviour that would feel incredibly threatening to most afab people, he doesn't seem to understand that to non-binary people or anyone who doesn't "pass", truthfully answering that question would mean essentially outing yourself as trans, and on camera too! Why would I out myself to someone who already seems to delight in making people uncomfortable?
The closet theory is a valid theory. I hated people asking me my name in class in high school because I was too anxious to talk to my teachers about gender even though I was out as bi & they accepted that along with my femininity. The only bigots I came across in high school were boys & a few certain staff members. The teachers didn't understand LGBT stuff but I never faced blatant discrimination from them. I was much more accepted in the ladies room. That was only ruined when the staff got involved & forced me to use singular restrooms. They even put coaches in front of the public loos to keep trans people out. This was before the bill was passed here in Oklahoma that mandates keeping trans students out of the restroom of their gender.
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that. No one should be barred from using the bathroom just because they are trans
Just wanted to point out that not absolutely everyone that prefers their name being used is being a butt about it. I know a couple of people with intellectual disabilities who genuinely find it far easier when people use their names instead of pronouns. (And yeah, I appreciate the irony of using neutral pronouns here, but I want to avoid naming anyone without permission!)
I was thinking of a similar thing, however, I think the reason for this particular person not using pronouns was because they (and yes, I realise the irony too) had been institutionalised and hated how it very much forgot them as a person, if you get what I mean?
With medical models and whatnot, people tend to forget that it is a person and just completely removes the humanity, and I think it was a way of them saying "remember me", kind of thing.
I'm AFAB and 33. I've started using they/them recently. Had gender discomfort all my life, and realized i'm nonbinary in the last few months. I'm now out to my family and friends and couldn't be happier. I feel like I've been wearing the wrong sized clothes all my life, and now I'm sooo cosy in my body
that's awesome! congrats on figuring yourself out!
About the pink haired person asking pronouns: I'd be weary as well if a stranger I perceived as a man approached me in the street ngl
I never really thought about asking about pronouns until the question started being asked in online spaces.
As a she/her, I found I was misidentified a lot online as a he/him and really appreciate that we ask the question now.
What people have you met? I still get misidentified as a he on the internet all the time and despise it. It would be great if people asked me or just generally used “they”.
Same, but I'm fine with it
Yeah, most people on the internet use he as a default unless you use an absurd amount of "❤️✨️🥰" or other "femine" words/phrases. It's so bizarre.
I’m figuring shit out but I’ve settled on they/them right now
Good luck on your journey of self discovery!
they/them is nice. its what i used for a long time and what i tend to use with strangers
I wish you luck on your journey to find your identity, but if you settle on they/them permanently, we'll take that, too. ❤
it do be like that
Have fun riding the gender discovery train! It makes stops every so often but its always rolling
I use any pronouns. I've thought about this a lot - I'm agender and kinda fluctuate in what feels most accurate - but the only time I've ever truly felt misgendered is when I said I use any pronouns and got the response "Alright, but I want to make you feel included, so what are your pronouns?" I had to narrow down my pronouns, which felt really gross.
I like some pronouns more than others (more for novelty's sake than anything), but so long as I know I'm being referred to, it works. I have a friend that swaps pronouns by whatever mood strikes them and, honestly, it's peak.
I probably wouldn't answer if someone came up to me on the street and asked my pronouns. I wouldn't assume that was the only question. I would assume it was a preliminary question, and I don't want to get into a conversation with a stranger with a microphone on the street.
For the record: he/they
I am AFAB and go by they/them pronouns, and somehow I haven't ever interacted with those "Oh I don't believe in pronouns, there are only two genders!" people but I have heard some really stupid things regarding gay/lesbian people. Would love to never talk to any of the transphobes or homophobes. They can stay in their own twisted spaces.
My pronouns are he/she/they!
There aren't many people in my life that use them so it's really nice of you to ask 💛
I use the ones common for my assigned gender she/her, because I'm agender and don't want to teach gender 101 classes when I meet a new person.
It's similar with me
Yeah, I've recently accepted being non binary, after struggling with it all my life and only learning the term when my son came out as trans. Unfortunately I live somewhere where they/them will start a rant of some kind more often than not, so until I can move away somewhere more accepting I'm stuck with she/her, just to keep the peace😕
It makes me fucking mad that people don't get to use their preferred pronouns because of other people 🤬
@Nick-dx2pt I'm accepted in the circles I run in online, mostly, so that helps. And as soon as my niece is old enough to travel alone, I'll be moving for a fresh start. I'm just biding my time... It's awful that so many of us are in this position, I just console myself with the thought that there are less of us in hiding now than 20 years ago, and if that continues, eventually we'll all be safe to be ourselves 🤞🤞🤞
3:16 an autistic friend of mine actually doesn't like to use any pronouns and just wants to be called by name. It is a bit difficult to get used to, since I'd guess that most people aren't used to structuring their sentences that way, but with a bit of practice it's not too hard.
I also have a friend that prefers you just use their name unless the specify differently(every once in a while my friend wants to use they/them)
In an ideal situation, my pronouns would be they/them, but I'm in my 40s and have only known that non binary is a thing since my son came out as trans in his mid teens. Before that, i just thought that either everyone felt like I did and ignored it like I was doing, or that it was just because I'm weird (which I am, Fyi😂). Now I've finally got the word to describe my experience of gender it's bittersweet because nobody but my son and niece are accepting enough for me to even come out to. My sister has fallen into the terfosphere, my mother kind of accepts trans people, as long as they conform to the gender binary, but gets very angry about gender neutral people, and my entire town is full of backwards people who rant about things like this even though they have literally no knowledge (about most things, it seems)... so until I get the chance to move closer to my son, I'm stuck with she/her and keeping my mouth shut irl just so I don't have to debate people. Not fun.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I also figured out I'm non-binary in my late 30s. Totally relate. I was shocked to find out everyone else wasn't just faking their gender all the time. I wish you all the best getting out of your backward town.
I'm sorry, but if anyone is wearing headphones, it means "Don't bother me". As a woman I'd be so stressed if this person started heckling me while I had my headphones in.
Being asked your pronouns is like being asked your name: it’s a sign of respect that they want to address you in the correct way.
This right here!
Fr
Nah it's supposed to be obvious
If I look 100% like a man, I have a beard or mustache and still someone comes asking me what my pronounce is I would not be mad but of course I would find it weird.
I have found it extremely rude, when a person of power/authority asked a person with less power/authority that sort of question. It is a sign of disrespect..
Oh my god, you ppl are weak af.
Ask me my pronoun, so i know you are not a person worth engaging with.
My pronouns are dey/dem🥰
Also, I finally got your book!!
Lots of love to everybody out there❤❤ stay safe❤🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
My US history teacher blatantly refuses to use my pronouns, (he/they). Any time I remind her those are my pronouns, she tells me she didn't know, and then continues to misgender me.*
I have a presentation tomorrow and am considering calling her out in front of the whole class. I have one friend in that class who wholeheartedly supports me. I really want to do it, but I'm a little nervous.
*Not that it should matter, but I don't live in a state where teachers are required to tell parents about their children being trans, and regardless, my mom supports me.
Edit: thank you all for being so supportive. I didn't end up calling her out during the presentation. Maybe a cliche excuse, but it didn't feel like the right time. I felt a little bad for my presentation partner, as well, I didn't want him to have to stand up there while I said all that. I do kind of regret not doing it, especially with all your support. I'm sorry, I feel like I let you down. I wish I had said something. Any other ideas to aggressively correct her? Passive-aggressivness hasn't been working.
I hope everything goes well!
Then dare them to tell your mother, because I can see how that backfires.
Also, just some cool facts/arguing points:
Singular gender-neutral pronouns are also found in Shakespearean literature (Much Ado About Nothing - Act 3, Scene 4) - “God send everyone their heart's desire”- as well as found in the King James Bible (Philippians 2:3) - “In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves”.
Furthermore, in Isaiah 43:10-11:
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he."
If they accept God's pronouns, they should be able to respect yours!
Will calling her out in front of the class affect your grade? And if it does, will your mom back you up in fighting that?
Another approach might be, the next time she says she didn't know, look her in the eye and say, "Yes, I've told you several times already. I feel very disrespected by the way you're ignoring my identity. Please call me what I am asking to be called." The important thing is to keep your tone of voice polite so that she can't accuse you of being disrespectful. You can even practice doing it beforehand by role-playing with a friend or your mom.
Hope it went well.
The entitlement is insane. If you care so much about what someone refers to you as, it’s clearly a *you* problem. Teachers especially have over more than 100 students, and you expect her to remember you and address you by whatever you want? Not to mention the need to have her bow down to your own opinions and ideology, completely disregarding the fact that she is a human being, with a job, and hundreds of people to deal with on a daily basis. Your pronouns are the least of her concerns, meanwhile on the other hand, it seems they are the focus of your entire life.
The fact that you even admitted yourself that when she “misgendered” you, she said “I didn’t know.” speaks volumes, as she clearly could have just said “I’m not going to because I don’t agree with you.” or something else. Then again, you feel entitled to her keeping you on the back of her mind, when in reality you’re just another student in the thousands she has taught.
The fact that you want to “call her out”….call her out on what? She may or may not disagree with you, and even then, she apologized to you every time, did she not? You’re an entitled brat who clearly has not been in the real world, and shame on you for wanting to ridicule an already stressed individual who has *actual* real-life issues to worry about.
Also, just to ask. Are you a male or a female? Because you say your pronouns are “he/they”, so I’m assuming you’re a male….? But if your teacher is “misgendering” you, then that would imply you are a female? I’m not seeing the issue here.
Either way, congratulations on making the most pathetic, idiotic, nonsensical and overall the most useless part of life (pronouns) the main focus of your entire existence. Really says something, doesn’t it?
My pronouns are they/them! I used to go by he/him but getting more comfortable with my identity and expression made me realize I'm not a binary trans man^^
She/he/they. Once one of my friends used all three in a sentence and my gender euphoria was off the roof
I used to use any pronouns, but it just meant that almost everyone defaulted back to the assumed set :/ BUT I had one particular friend who was awesome at switching for me and I know exactly what you mean about euphoria!! It's such a small thing but it's like being told "I see you and I accept you" every time.
I have all the pronouns. Nobody gets to have any. They’re all mine >:3
I'm a fem them :D they/them
You’re a fem them causing mayhem?
Hi-li! 🤟🏽
Ah, you must be a fem them causing mayhem.
You must enlighten me, a Fem Them, must be the best phrase Ive ever heard in my life, it even rhymes!!!! 🎉
@@Zia_Xiaomi heck yeah I'm super proud of myself for coming up with Thems can be Fems 😎
I use neopronouns, so I can't wait until they're taken seriously instead of getting the attack helicopter joke that hopefully goes away
😊❤ me too which ones? I use ze/zir
wish you the best😁
Me too!!
@@Autumnforever-ns7vd oh hell yeah friend!!!!
fr I really wish neopronouns were taken seriously and I wish more people would learn how to use them. I hate having to go by standard pronouns all the time and having to sacrifice my comfort so that other people don't have to take two seconds to actually learn.
He/they
Nice pfp
Lmao was watching this near my mum. She just said “who’s that, dream?” Omg lmao
Normally I just say He/Him for safety reasons, but if I know a person well I tell them I use He/Ram. Thanks for asking, Jamie. Hope the engagement helps!
Ram like 🐑?
How do you use ram in a sentence?
@@rolfs2165Honestly? Not sure! It's just a set I tried and ended up liking it equally to he. Computer RAM? Animal ram? Who knows. Not me.
@@Shoulderpads-mcgeeBasically, the set goes like ram/ram/rams/rams/ramself. "This is Commie, ram uses "ram/rams" pronouns. Ram is a fan of Jammidodger, are you one too?"
I'm 39, gender apathetic, and will accept any and all pronouns, but typically list as they/them, as that's what i prefer. The concept of what it means to "feel like a man/woman" just seems like gibbering nonsense upon even the slightest examination. I'd be much happier if i was built like a Ken (or better, Alan) doll downstairs.
However, I get gendered as he/ him most of the time because I usually am too lazy to shave regularly, plus I get really bad razor burn. So I just don't. I guess having facial hair is inherently masculine presenting, and people don't seem to understand that my non-binariness doesn't owe anyone the androgyny they expect.
I just want to wear a skirt, guys. I don't get why it's a problem (I'm in Oklahoma, so it's DEFINITELY a problem, apparently)
Oh, god, Oklahoma. My condolences. I've lived in several cities there and I couldn't tell you a single one that had any decent people in it - all the good ones either leave, are /forced/ to leave, or move deep into the sticks and don't talk to anybody. You shouldn't have to move to be safe, but I still hope a safe and accepting place is in the cards for you, OK or not OK.
Also, if it brings you any comfort coming from an internet stranger, I've genuinely never met a person in my life who looked bad with a beard, regardless of presentation. Beards fucking rule. ESPECIALLY with literally any form of eye makeup, IMO :)
@@blueblynd685 I know plenty of good people here, but it's also a very big area that's very spread out. Gay panic and trans panic are still seen as viable defenses for doing horrible things here. If I had the money to leave I definitely would
@@thembill8246 Yeah, I believe you. I've experienced that firsthand from both angles.
I'm know it doesn't mean much, but I'm genuinely sorry to hear you don't have the money to move. I'm in a similar boat, financially, or I'd offer to do something about it. I hope that it's only temporary, at least. Full sincerity, I wish you the best of luck and the utmost safety. The world can be scary, but you're absolutely right, there's plenty of good people in it.
I use they/them in English and recently I have started introducing myself with the adapted version in my native language (essentially neopronouns because there was no equivalent to singular they) and it made me feel so proud of myself
Also there absolutely are people who don't use any pronouns. I recently met someone, lets pick the name Miles, who wants to be referred to by name. So when talking about Miles, i would just use Miles' name every time I'm referring to Miles. It takes some getting used to, but is possible when you stay conscious of the way you speak.
ahh so happy for you!! you rock! it's very nice to hear about non-binary people thriving in a gendered language environment.
Okay "Nowadays I'm just a SOBER GOPHER!!" made me laugh TOO hard
She/He/They/Her/Him/Them/Hers/His/They’re. I’m Gender-fluid, just ask me.
So every time I refer to you I have to ask
@@lucylane7397 The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. Students begin at the starting line. Once the test begins, the running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear the signal (beep). A single lap (length of the basketball court), should be completed when you hear this signal (ding). The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over.
@@lucylane7397Most genderfluid people go by any pronouns at anytime so you can probably go with whatever. If you can be bothered tho just ask or change them up if they correct you.
She/they 🤩👍 In Finnish language we only have one, genderless singular third person pronoun, so we're lucky that way 🎉🇫🇮
is it hän?
I'm a bit freaked out by the languages that throw gender onto everything, so it's cool to learn that there's one that is even less gendered than English.
Share please, I'm interested in Finnish and Finland in general, so I'd love to know.
@@Vernal_the_Oryx it is hän
Pronouns buddy 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
He/they trans person here !
I actually know quite a few cis people who get offended when asked that question because they seem to assume it means people are misgendering them, as bizarre as that sounds.
Like for example the cis woman I know who hates that question thinks that when people ask her that they can’t tell if she’s a man or a woman and she finds it insulting.
I don’t get why people think that way tho, because 99% of the time, people who ask about pronouns are just trying to be polite and respectful
People think that way because they want their gender expression to be obvious and unquestioned. To be asked is a sign of politeness, yes, because the person asking doesn't want to misgender someone. But to be asked is also, equally, a sign of not being 100% sure (regardless of how polite they are), which to many people means their gender expression must be "off" if someone can't tell by looking at them. Not everyone, certainly, feels this way, and not everyone gets upset about being asked, but some cis and trans people who are trying very hard to express their gender in a very certain way don't like being asked because it feels like they're failing at their attempts to express their gender with their appearance.
Hi, I'm Eevee, I'm 30, and I use they/she/he pronouns! Most people I know IRL can't grasp the concept of using multiple pronouns interchangeably for one person, so I tend to say I use all pronouns but if you feel the need to use just one, please default to they/them rather than she/her (I am AFAB nonbinary and present fairly feminine).
My pronouns are she/they, it always makes me feel safer when people ask. Unless they were running at me with a camera, then it might not...
I'm still figuring things out so I use any pronouns
(well, in theory I do, I'm not out to anyone)
I feel that
My pronouns are they/it! Many people just get uncomfortable with the it/its as they think its objectifying, but like obviously I'm comfortable being referred to as "it" since its part of my pronouns!
In Finland everyone’s pronouns are they/it as our language does not have gendered pronouns. Though, our equivalent to the singular they “hän” is considered overly formal and is mainly used in customer service or for older people, so most of us are just referring to each other as it, or in Finnish “se”. 😂
@@WednesdayOrFridayIt's pretty much spoken language vs. writen language thing too I wonder how that even came to be in first place tho like were people just one day like ''You know what we should just start dehumanizing everybody''
@@WednesdayOrFridayYep, Finland is a funny place like that. Also all animals get addressed by "it", or should be at least.. In some circles it's getting more common to use "hän" for pets now, so maybe we'll swap the whole thing around one day 😆
I'm someone who does find it objectifying/dehumanizing, but that's only because that's how it was used by those around me growing up, which as someone who is very much an empath developed into not just being uncomfortable but makes me feel physically feel feel discomfort and anxiety when I use it/it's pronouns to refer to someone, I still respect and use everyone's preferred pronouns despite that
yeah, everyone uses it as a joke for me, when i annoy them, but little do they know.....BWAHAHHAA
my prounouns are "I DON'T KNOW I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR A YEAR NOW"
Same 😂
If you call me “sir” or “lady” before asking my pronouns, you are risking a bloody nose.
what are your pronouns
@@user_hat
Depends on the day, mostly “they, them”.
@@TheLinkoln18 ok, cool. she/they for me.
I go by she/her, and ey/em, I'm southern and we unironically use ey/em because of our accent and I just love it so much!
My pronouns are He/They! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ 💪💪💪💪
In english my pronouns are they/them or none. In German there isn't a right pronoun for me, so when people talk about me, they use my name instead of gendered pronouns.
Same problem in Dutch, we do not have proper singular gender neutral pronouns. Hen/hun (translation of plural they/them) is suggested and I've read them being used, or die/diens (normal use of die is translated as 'that' although you can use it for persons regardless of gender, but diens traditional translates as his). But the official rule is society still has to figure it out, until then use whatever you like.
So last year, the Dutch translation of Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe was released and they left in the Spivak pronouns e/em/eir. These work well in Dutch, although I like to pronounce eir as the German ehr.
Not a personal issue though, he/him for me.
Fellow german here. Have you ever heard of "dey/deren" perhaps? Maybe it will work for you :3
@@jonny_piratefox thank you :) Yes, i tried a lot of neopronouns, but i quite like using none.
@@ich_bin_ich_2600 ah, i see. :3 i'm glad that u found a way that works for you ^^
@@christiaanterveen4633 I heard hen/hun being used in some cartoons, but would it be weird to use them when talking to somebody irl?
(I‘m not Dutch btw just learning it. I don‘t know where else I can ask that question. lol)