Is He Wasting Your Time? 3 Deadly Red Flags | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- Mat Boggs shares dating advice for women and "Is he Wasting Your Time? 5 Deadly Red Flags".
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You remember the movie Beauty and the Beast. It’s the Story of how an arrogant young prince and his castle's servants fall under the spell of a wicked enchantress, who turns him into the hideous Beast until he learns to love and be loved in return.
The Princess Belle comes along and by teaching him to love, she transforms the beast into a handsome prince.
There are men who try to tell you they are a beast, they will try to tell you early in the relationship what their flaws are...(WATCH)
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs? dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat's Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
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If you’re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here: www.crackingthemancode.com/coa...
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Written By: Mathew Boggs
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Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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The simplest and clearest rule of thumb is to look for men whose actions align with their words.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
Exactly 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I do need to add to this though....his actions that align with words needs to continue over several months at least before you can trust it as genuine. I have experienced guys who are versed in action and word follow through but the ones who are playing a good game cannot and do not sustain it over 6, 8, 10, 12 months.
@@gracefullygrateful6360 very correct miss! Where are you from?
agreed because actions speak louder than words👍👍
Red flags 🚩
• when you’re more excited to see them than they are to see you
• lack of follow-through and consistency
• bragging too much or being too boastful
• not searching for ways to connect on a deeper level after several months of dating
Cynthia Leonards, you got a lovely smile!!
OMG Cynthia! Been there! dated that! Your list is spot on! 👍🏾😃
Yep been there done that! So painful , not falling for that again 🙄
Yesssss or zero communication
Very well said!
When someone tells you who they are, believe them
Yes. Any man who ever told me they were or used to be narcissists means they are STILL narcissists. Run.
I understand that statement my fiancee always reminds me of who he is he a real.tough man very loving affectionate always concerned about my well being that to me is real he worries more about me than.himself ok is that red flag or green flag anwers or comments any one?
Maya Angelo!
🚩 Red Flags 🚩
-when it’s all about him
-if he’s manipulative
-if he’s dishonest
Sounds like a narcissistic personality.
@@secretshaman189 mhm!!
@@secretshaman189 It is!
yes all about him. that is often, when a man is a taker not a giver. when he keeps you at a short leash and gives incentives or makes large ''offers'' but if you dont jump on it with sudden enthusiasm the offer is straight away taken back. crazy
or when talks too much about the ex
The way I feel when we are APART. He may be making me feel like a queen when we are together but if I feel anxious and uncertain when we are apart it's a red flag.
Dear I know a powerful spellcaster who can help you ok
He helped me get my ex back within 48 hours
Message him on WhatsApp
maybe you arent confident enough?
Sometimes when people treat us really well we are suspicious of them or we think it's too good to be true. But don't shut that down just yet. It needs to be investigated 🤗
He doesn’t ask how you are or how your day went. When you do try to tell him anything he interrupts or isn’t interested in what you are saying.
SO MUCH THIS. I literally dumped someone for this exact thing a few months ago. Red flag that he doesn't care about you and/or sees you purely as emotional support for *him*, not as a partner.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
Yes, and he invalidates you, or your feelings.. « I didn’t like when said *this* » and his answer is « what I said was right.. you’re not right to feel this way ».. that’s the perfect path to insanity, self-doubt, depreciation, etc.
.I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a PI/Hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, if you need help,you can contact him through Gmail : Worldcyberhackers or WhatsApp: +1 (267) 877‑3020, infidelity hurts..
@@richardrivas3294 how you can attract them if their busy with some body else
Red flag: When he doesn’t ask me questions about myself beyond the basics. 🚩
Yeah i didnt watch & this is the only thing i thought. I mean, we havent talked long. But still, ud think hed show more interest. Hes cute. But not cute enough for me to leave him hangin. At least sexually. He can go flirt every where he wants. But guarantee it his dumb ass will sit there & pretty much ask for my attention too tho. Like no. Go be w/ someones sloppy seconds some more, playa playa
Absolutely big 🚩Going thru this now. Tmr I'm telling him bye bye
@@annamarie3288 Yep! This is how I know if someone is even worth talking to! Are they actually curious about getting to know me or do they just want to go through the motions in hopes of a hookup?
@@annamarie3288 SAME
I don't sleep with people who don't know me, bye
When he treats you differently than everyone else. Ex: he's short tempered or rude to the waiter, his co-workers, etc. but with you he's always sweet and kind. That won't last forever, he's putting on a front. Eventually he'll treat you like he treats everyone else.
So true. Listen how he treated his ex's, you're next
The way he treats his mother...
He’s a narcissist stay well clear of him
My phrase in life and dating ladies is simply this “no effort = no access”. Follow this thinking and you will never waste your time. #SelfLove
💃🏾💃🏾 Absolutely Agree! I live by this now! Not just romantic relationships but ALL relationships! #SelfLove INDEED! 👏🏿👏🏿
@@charliesmith_ thank you ☺️
Hellllll yessss !!! 🙌🙌🙌
lots of manchildren: are trash
stranger on the internet that doesn't even know you: treats you right :')
the thing is that..80% if not all men who take my number do nothing..they d try to talk and they wont meet ..they try to get your vibe before meeting you I think some of them..or they already sensed that your legs wont be open before marriage..plus if you appear more knowledgable than them..they ll ghost u..if you have an opinion same
Couple red flags I’ve noticed:
-inconsistency, of course
-you never really know where you stand with him
-his social media is full of interactions with other women
-he doesn’t seem to value having your time
all signs of entitlement! run!!
True!!!! I couldn’t agree more!!
WOW 😳
I’m experiencing all 3
Never knowing where you stand with him....this is true.
Thanks
My boyfriend has mostly girl’s that are friends. He was upfront about it since the beginning. Why is talking to a lot of females a problem?
Red flags:
1. Not asking questions about you
2. Evasiveness
3. His texts and calls are great but he appears emotionless and zombie like in person
4. Takes offense to a lot of the things you say
5. Constantly tells you he's an empath
The last one 😂
I have a friend and she has such a "relationship" and her "boyfriend" shows all these red flags and even more and i cant understand how they stay together although there isnt any chemistry or love between them
I should have your message tattooed on the back of my hand!!!!
Two biggest red flags for me are : 1) hot and cold or ambiguous, and 2) doesn't really seem curious about me.
Yes the hot and cold routine seems to happen to me more times than I can count.
This is SO true
A few big red flags for me
- he likes to make backhanded compliments
- he is passive, I’m always reaching out
- he talks about his ex a lot
- he talks big and acts small. It’s so hard to look past charm and flattery sometimes but this is important to do. If he wants to make time and be with you and doesn’t do it, something is wrong
Boggs BEST BEST BEST. ⭐️ A guy I was getting to know in the summer said to me “I need you to inspire me to be a better man”... to which I said: “No I don’t. That’s your job, not mine.” 😬
Well done😎
@I. A. When someone shows you who they are, believe them... the 1st time. ;)
What was his response?
Agree or if a man can’t make time to see you he is not worth it
@@lindawilliams974 it’s nuanced though. We tend to jump to conclusions, so it’s important to understand his situation before making a decision that he’s not worth the effort or time. :)
I read this statement and it was profound “When someone shows you WHO THEY are, BELIEVE THEM” !!!
So true let him.show you the real.man now because after you say I do then you waited too late thank you Matt
That's from Oprah Winfrey
Or says “I’m a F* up…”. Listen up!
It took me a very long time to understand this. And this mantra has never fazed since I got that enlightenment. Believe someone when they say who they are.
You should NOT have to try to hard to make it work if you are with the right person. It should just flow . Basically effortless. .
YES! Like this!
Yeah, I think this is a good thing to keep in mind.
My ex would constantly talk about how he wanted marriage and kids, but his actions showed the exact opposite! I spent 2.5 years with him. I'm happily married now with a man who proved from the start that he would commit.
If they're all excited to see you & seem to care for & then disappear for days weeks....they are talking to & dating other women. If they really truly cared for you they wouldn't risk staying away from you & losing you to another man.
You're acting like you don't have 3+ guys in the friendzone/orbiters.
That means they're married. And they haven't told their wife that they don't want her anymore*
could living really far,covid 19 or bussy work schedule be just lame excuses to never ever meeting up
That’s exactly what leads to 😴
I agree!
1. Gaslighting
2. Never keep promise
3. Don’t initiate action
Well that just sounds like a narc
When he’s really into you you will know ,if he’s NOT, you will be confused.
One of my biggest red flags? A guy that doesn't like animals. It's a huge red flag for me and I know our value systems will not align well at all.
Long time ago I dated a narcisist who loved animals...
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
Hello
People who don't like animals are reptiles. They have no sentiment. 🤣
@@alexthebullo this^^
🌸 The best advice my grandmother ever gave me was to observe carful & check in with your own feelings. Basically if someone is breaking you down & tearing at your confidence, making you cry - then that isn’t your partner to be.
Another thing, not all are abusive outwardly, there are some that are worse. If you are with someone that talks of marriage but doesn’t go further than his words, 1 year is turning into 2, it’s time to tell him you are leaving. Don’t let him stop you & hold you for more years without marriage. Men like that are just boys seeking a mother to wash their clothes, cook & do housework, they were never looking for responsibility of a family of wife & children. These selfish men only care about themselves & will devour your youthful self. You want your best years spent with your true soulmate ❤️
Don’t let that happen, never waste time with the wrong one ☝🏼. Don’t cry bitter tears of regret.
Your second paragraph hits me hard. It is very true. I know first hand.
I didn’t know this and married a man child like this. I did everything right. He waited 6 months with no sex from me.( A secret womanizer) I married him. I had 6 figures, my own home, 1 child and the 9.( travel,
Good job, sexy, younger and high demand. But I was after a husband.😟to complete me.
We married a year later. The red flags were there. He move in. He saw $$ while I saw a man.Now he has moved on.My youths is gone and Im trying to start over 6 years later & I still have a hard time but will not give up. He used the hell out of me. Im embarrassment to say in
10 year marriage.
But I woke up one day & divorce him. Don’t waste your youth.
Meet his family, friends. Be quiet and ask him questions and wait for a
completed answer. Ask for explanation if you don’t understand his answer. (That’s his
game.)
The dating is very important.
Now men are out to meet independent women to live wit you. Measuring your account, goods and your kindnesses everything so don’t be the next sucker. “To have it all”
While you’re caring for him like a mother,🧐🥲😟😏or another one of of your kids. He’s looking good with his money and time. Be woke! Private Eyes help uncover his womanizing ways while his daughter covered for him. What a bch.
“Affection without follow through is like a mirage “ 🎯🎯🎯🎯
If a guy wasting your time there is only one thing to do... LEAVE. That's it. Don't wait around. Don't try to prove your worth.
I really needed to hear this one! ❤❤❤
Pick up another flirt, expand your options. Don't put all your eggs into one basket until you get a proposal. Just be busy.
When he promises to marry me, but after 12 years never did. So I am currently no contact for 7months. Healing is still in a progress.
That’s so sad, Is it the same with me? He always said that I should trust him everytime I asked him “ do you want to commit?” he always said that he’s unemployed, injured? still don’t have house to go for relationship etc. tho I’m only 22 and he’s 27 we’ve met on Facebook we talked everyday. I don’t know if I’m wasting my time.
Always put a timeline for a ring , first keep it secret then announce it to him. 3 to 9 months are enough mostly . If he doesn't put a ring on it ,walk away .
😢 so sorry.
Gosh I'm in the same situation 😭
Hi there. I also fell for this and I missed my chance of having children by staying with him. I gave him 7 years of my life and he always has an excuse. I may adopt in the future or meet someone with children..you never know. I am also about to go no contact. The next part of my life, though lonely now, will be much better not being strung along and feeling used. I hope you are staying strong.
One good practice that a therapist shared with me recently is to see yourself as a character in a movie. If you were watching yourself on screen and certain interactions happened between your character and a man, how would you react? Would you tell the character to run or stay? Wish I had known this 24 years ago when I started dating my ex.
Wow, that is actually really good advice.
I thought of this way of looking at my life a while back. It's good to apply it not just to dating, but to other areas of your life. For example, if you are looking at the character doing her job each day, is the character happy in her job or should they move on to another job?
I like that!! Guess I’ll grab some popcorn and see if it worth a happy ending or leaving at intermission ♥️🇯🇲
@@bollagurl agree!!
@@SuzannaKiraly This comment just fits me all the way around!! 🇯🇲♥️
Remember your worth ladies. Live your life, love your life. Men have to/need to chase. You are the prize so be the prize to be won. Don’t give any man your time unless he is investing in you. A text is just a text. What he says and what he does are two different things! If dates are only ever at yours or his - Ditch him immediately! If he wants you he will be chasing, wanting to get to know you, your family, he will introduce you to his friends and family. He will want to know everything about you and your life. Remember you are the prize always! If he’s not sure leave him, if he says he’s not ready for commitment leave him, if he says one day- leave him. He knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want. Don’t be the fool and waste your time/life on someone who isn’t sure!
Thank you
🎯
Thank you. I so needed to read this.
i was engaged and it went very wrong , after i was hurt badly i met another gorgeous guy but i thought no i am not falling again being tough but guess what we married six months later he made me feel special ,and now after many years of marriage over 40 yrs and hes the best person in my life hes gorgeous! x the love of my life !
That’s so rare
How inspiring!
I’m so glad just by reading your comment 😍You’re a lucky woman in this planet
@@RomanticImages hope you are with a good man!!
Thank you for making me believe in love
Man wish I had heard this along time ago. I wasted a few years with a guy. First date he stated " I do not want marriage just wanted uncommitted relationship." I should have run out that night.
Then only give months to a year of YOUR LIFE and end it at a year by phasing in new fellas and say sayonara to the commitmentphobe
So accurate
If a man tells you he doesn’t want a relationship. Believe him he’s not lying! Move on to someone who does
He is honest, appreciate that
He doesn't remember details about you from one conversation to the next. To me it means that he's not really interested in knowing me better, only waiting around for a green light for something physical! Such a turn off...
Thanks for sharing. Not calling back when he say he will
Not answering when I call
Offering to take me out and not doing so
Offering to help move my tv and not showing up. I just stopped calling. Not going to beg someone to be in my life or to treat me right. Moving on.
Yes! Not ‘showing up’ (in all sorts of ways) sums it up perfectly. And good for you! Feels so much better to have a man shaped space available in your life for someone better to step into. Keep that heart open to the world xx
future faking, buh-bye!
Exactly!
Spot on...
- Too much inconsistency of any kind
- Gets overimpressed too quickly without actually getting to know you better
- Your intuition blinking, even when everything seems to be going fine
The funny thing is, I wrote this reply before I saw your older video about 7 red flags where you also mention inconsistency and intuition :-)
This was very good .
One red flag I'm experiencing is a guy who told me "I want to know everything about you" ...2-3 weeks later and he hasn't asked much questions beside "how was your day" & "how are you". Time for him to go !
Aaargh...It is kind of hard to be sure so quickly...Because a man is showing that all the very good sides are there and he is interested, but then no show...I have been the one without boundaries and that can lead to bad behavior too. But 1,5 weeks and no show so perhaps I let him go, because also, he is not showing interest enough at this point.
Thank you for your comment! I realised that I do not need to wait a few months before making my decision, but 2-3 weeks is enough!
@@SatumainenOlento I'm experiencing the same as Anne and want to run but I can't, how you did it ??
he keep being fake-nice and call me sweet names can't help it but feel siick and ma stomach tuurn he say he likes me blah blah but keep the superficial talk about his "day" and just talk bout HIMSELF.
And ask " ask are you doing all day w you been?"
Like sir I have a life ok.
"he want to know everything bout u " but then when u start talking he just don't listen and respond like a robot and seems annoyed like what! 😒
Can u help any tips to let him leave without hurting him and saying the real reason ( immature emotionally, intellect...)
@@peacejoy3629 same situation with you my dear he only call when he want to, but at night time is like he doesn't exist anymore 🙈🙈I think is time to give him a big red flag
@@peacejoy3629 the best way to get relief from him is to block 🚫 straight away 🤨 there's not much you can do my dear
@@sabrinateamnkdebundes7419 hi! The Story kinda developed now (he's a narc an overt one) bragging bragging bout everything, Self entitlement.. I can't just do wht u said cuz we study in same CLASS and now he couldn't take it when I refused to be with him and he's saying to everyone that we're together! And we're NOT.
The funniest he called his friend just to tell him " I'm with ma gf" and told to talk his friend ( that I don't even know) that yes im HIS gf 🤦.. I'm done
( I told him I don't wanna be in a Relationship with no one now. but I do like someone. Not planning to show either.
AND I don't want to let that narc guy ruin my reputation)
And I don't knw wht to doo
Can you help plz sis
I’m talking to a guy who needs to chat before he sleeps…I asked him “do you only call me to get you all tired and sleepy?” He said “no” but I have seen the pattern…we talk until he’s ready to sleep…what am I? A friggin lullaby ? Lol…
This guy is SO not worthy of you.
@@Tech_Virtuoso thanks love
1.If you embark on developing him and fixing whatever issue in his life, without allowing him to man up.
2. Where he's okay with you taking up responsibilities fully and hardly invests in you but you do in him.
3. Non-inclusion of "us" in his vision.
One of the red flags I’ve noticed lately with this one guy I met is how Iam always praising him and making him feel good about him but I never get it in return. I always say how much I enjoy his presence but never get the same from him! It’s like pulling teeth to find out if he even likes me or how he feels towards me!! I HAVE NO TIME I CUT HIM LOOSE “BYE FELICIA”
You were smart to cut him. I’m a teacher and I believe in praise, encouragement and compliments. Never reciprocated. Such an idiot wasting 9 YEARS. NOW I’m an old lady.
@@ajm3821 I've just started seeing a guy. My initial gut feelings are that he is quite self involved and dependent on me to boost his ego. He does listen to me and is affectionate/respectful of my boundaries, but I feel like he put in lots of effort to catch me before we started seeing each other and now he isn't actually interested in me as a person, he just likes the attraction/is lustful. Thoughts?
A man always needs to do more first. Too many women bend over backwards trying to please a man - in various ways - and it comes across as desperate. It usually never works. You must Let him say and do more first! I once dated a guy for awhile and once he set up a camping weekend for us and two other couples. That weekend I said out loud that we all need to thank “Joe” and he actually got mad at me!! I don’t recall what he said but he was mad at me. A year later he proposed I said yes but handed back the ring an hour or so later. Something at that moment made me realize he wasn’t the one - among other reasons. He had no respect for me. I once dated another guy and one night we were at a bar listening to music and he began singing along with one of the songs. I told him he had a nice voice - which he did - and he looked at me with this shitty look as if I was lying about it. I was taken aback.Months later after he broke up with me for no good reason I ran into him in a bar and while we were talking about a song he began singing the song and I did not say a word! F that! I’ll never give a man a compliment again. Let HIM do for you!
Maybe that's not his love language.... And maybe he doesn't understand that it's yours.
The love-bombers will have you begging for crumbs from their palms after they've gotten you hooked. Don't make the same mistake I did, please
Yes,that's how narcissists operate..
I fell for this hook line and sinker.Typical narcissist , love bombs you to get you hooked, then feeds you breadcrumbs , then devalues and discards you. Heartbroken
Sounds like me in a loveless relationship
@@tanyatanya9492 Yes, narcissists or emotionally unavailable game player. They use a little different type of love bombing, but it's always about manipulation.
I feel sorry for myself for the three years I've wasted on a guy who was not meant for me. It was the biggest regret I've ever made. He was hot and cold, talks much about himself and don't care about my feelings at all.
For women, if something doesn't feel right please stop and think again.
Buwan Araw I've wasted time on a online guy that always says he's busy, doesn't know what he wants 😅 I deleted him tonight I cba with the games anymore. hardly knew anything about him wouldn't talk about himself at all, didn't ask anything about me either. So basically him saying he wanted to get to know me was a lie : /
Someone who doesn't care about your feelings, makes u regret stuff isn't worth it.
@@TwilightAngel_89 Narcissist he was and malignant clear RED FLAG🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 conceited in himself overt type Run and love yourself, in the end you'll attract someone better now that youve experienced this negativity.... Sending you lots of love ❤️
@@alwaysjolly1096 but what if he's covert and manipulate with sweet-talk and sweet-names to make her stay with him how to break and be free?
Specially he can be so calm and fake-nice
@@peacejoy3629 youve said it FAKE NICE.
*He reaches out, intermittently and on top is all about him 🙄
*He has no future plans with you
*Doesn't care about your feelings, wants, or even asks how is your day even when you give him information that he could ask you questions...🙄
A guy who “claims” that he is interested in me told me recently that women just don’t listen 🙄🤦♀️and he told me he has been married twice and he doesn’t want to waste his time on another woman 🙄 I dismissed him real quick and then when I confronted him about what he said, he was like I should give him a chance and that he is a real man 🤦♀️ and I was like a real man won’t make the kind of comments you made. So yeah I pay attention to everything a guy says. This guy didn’t think I was paying close attention to what he was saying and so when he tried to turn it around when I confronted him about it, it was too late. I had already gotten everything I needed to know because he was upfront. It definitely saved me from wasting my time with him. I had to learn this the hard way many years ago when I was in a relationship so yeah when a guy tells me something, I believe him and I’m so glad I did
Awesome job girl! I’m still learning the art of doing this… and I’m trying to get really good at getting them a little Saucey and a little comfortable enough with me that they forget I’m the girl they’re dating and end up spilling their tea with me. I’m terrified of what I’ll learn but it’s truly the only way of knowing …
I wish i had done that
Yas girl, glad you got away from him - so happy to see women making wise decisions
Great advices, sadly when we're infatuated with someone we ignore all of these red flags
Hello
That is so true, that happened to me
MetalBere, Hope you are with a good man!!
100% agree.
Exactly, but it's all just about using common sense.
When he only says: "love you" without "I"
@@cahilpeterson4978 I'm good, hope you too.. thanks for asking, God Bless.
Period sis
My partner say that to me all the time then i tell him the same because i learn that from him do i have to worry because i do really love him
@@yanetruiz0815 you should ask your partner why he doesnt include "I" everytime he say that to you.. My (not so sure if he still my boyfriend) told me "No I, WE" and I feel something is odd with his answer and I dont feel satisfied.. He even tells me "I love you too" even if he's the first one who says those words.. Its been 1 month since he ghosted me.. I'm not scaring you, what I just want to say is ASK HIM. We all have our reasons.
@@jenniferabana9075 i will ask him thank you for the advice
My ex told me within the first few weeks that he was a pervert. I asked what he meant by that. He didn't answer. Found out though. He was addicted to porn, was sex a addict, was a cheater, had a rotating "herem" of women and was a liar(and a good liar, of course, or he wouldn't have been able to hide it all from me for YEARS)
I should run for the hills after he told me who he was.
So you ended the relationship, correct?
Never date a man who doesn’t have sexual integrity. No matter how successful or good-looking he is. No matter how beautiful his voice and words, if a man doesn’t have sexual integrity, it’s going to show up in all areas of his life. Also, successful men with means will use their money to buy you expensive gifts when he screws up rather than trying to reconcile with you and acknowledging his wrong actions. For him, giving money or expensive gifts relieves him of accountability to his screwups. Please, AWAY WITH SUCH GUYS! Hope you gave this guy the boot and kicked him to the curb!
Biggest red flag for me is the man who's lovebombing from the get go. True mark of a narcissist. I run away asap.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
@@richardrivas3294 I know I deserve a high quality man because I have worked on myself to possess the character in a person I want to be with, to balance my feminine energy. I don't need a man to complete me nor make me happy but I want to be with one whose core values aligns with mine to amplify our happiness just being together.
@@eeyeltee it’s all good miss where are you from?
Yes absolutely. Run fast 🏃 Don't get all flattered ladies. It's pure manipulation and grooming
After falling for lovebombing TWICE in two "soulmate" relationships gone to hell, I've retired. I'm walking into love for the rest of my life
Red Flags - he interprets any attempt of yours to communicate needs/emotions as a threat/aggression and makes you feel wrong for having them; he is intransparent about his 'privacy' and tells you you're being 'nosy' or 'intrusive' while you just want to feel more secure with him; Cynicism; intimacy only happening through sex; he makes you believe you're stupid because he can't admit that his explanations were insufficient ... i have too many more... after years of running past the red flags like a bull
Dang...your describing my bf. Tell me more?
Just ended it with someone like this
That’s a narcissist
😔 I need help 😭😭😭😭 idk what is gonna help me I e been with this guy 4 5 yrs and 2 kids and I'm stuck cause I'm poor and scared long story 🥺
Everyone is of these are ticked 🤦🏾♀️
When he lies again and again because he doesn't want to upset you. BIIIIIIG RED FLAG!!!
I’ve been on the online dating scene for almost 9 months now, and one thing I’ve become fairly adapt at identifying is a chameleon. The signs are subtle, but I can tell when they are just telling me what I want to hear or taking what I am (morally, spiritually, etc.) and making themselves out to be that, just to keep me around.
A red flag 🚩 for me is circular conversations when the topics of concern do not progress or resolve itself. In other words, the problem keeps resurfacing. This was a major issue with my ex-husband. For example, if you say tardiness is an issue but periodically the guy still has issues with timeliness. My pastor later told me that circular issues are a sign of depression.
When he is separated for years or separated and not divorced... run
Run bitch run
I’m dealing with this. Explain
@@user-kx6tw3fo1e how come he is not divorced
Can’t qualify for his own mortgage. Says he needs two years of books.
But been separated for 5 years
@@user-kx6tw3fo1e Run!!!
Oh so true! I’m with a guy who lives in a void. Nothing new or interesting in his day. Expects or waits for me to inject my energy to talk about my day in order for the conversation to flow. Otherwise there is silence. Emotionally empty. Noticed that there were delays in being called, while that has improved, it is still me that needs to have something to talk about. Also noticed the “I’m boring” comment, along with the ‘got nothing to say or comment’ . Yes, a flatline follows. Hard work and time to look for a breath of fresh air…… Mat how right you are. It took me a while to work out and you’ve confirmed it. Love what you have to say.
One of the best videos. Another red flag is his relationship with the women in his life and how he speaks about them. If disrespectful run away. Another is if he has a history of only short relationships.
Pictures with alcohol in his online photo. Usually means attachment w alcohol. Like a picture in front of bar/ bottles.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
Wish I had someone who thinks like you
Awwn thanks miss that’s ok!!where are you from?
@@richardrivas3294 from Oregon? You?
@@mariachen2199 ohh great please are you on any social media like WhatsApp or hangout?
True. I just wish the good ones were also available.
He keeps telling u eventually u will be together but that never happens. He takes absolutely no action to make that happen. Eventually u just feel like u r being used for sex or whatever. Run don't walk. His actions r the give away not his words. Nothing but empty promises and outright lies to keep u hanging on.
The big praise and big pause victim is me for years. Honestly I used to think, he is busy until I discovered that was his way of managing multiple relationship. I walked out but heart broken in to pieces.
We need to know the red flags for online relationships..
Ditto! Please, Mat? Thanks!
They ask what you do for a living within the first few questions. They are in the military and deploying. Really poor English. Says he is from Sweden but has a Jamaican accent. Lol
Yes definitely online advise especially when its a different culture to you and you can't be with them just as easy as that. Also language barrier, meanings can be different. Any advise.. Please.
@@michellegallagher7305 totally 👍
@@michellegallagher7305 I agree.
Red flags 🚩: he is married, if he lies, doesn't keep his promises, or doesn't care about my feelings
TRUTH 🙌🏻
Orsolya I,you look stunning dear
A red flag is when he makes you feel unappreciated and he makes you feel like he don't want to be seen in public with you and he makes you feel like you just a rebound
Any man that has the "take one day at a time" or "go with the flow" thinking is more likely non commital. If he doesn't have a clear idea about his future for relationship, does not even need to be with a specific person, he is not commitment minded. You're on a line at that point.
I agree a lot of men say this
This is what Kevin Hicks says, love Matt and Kevin Hicks and Ladolce
But also beware of the hurry up and rush guys, these are the lovebombers trying to catch you fast. They refuse to go slowly.
True
Any guy that tells me I'm perfect, perfect for him or that I somehow am responsible or the reason for his happiness. No no no. That will not last.
Sudden ceasing of communication without any reason.
I have just experienced silence. Now turned into weeks and absolutely nothing. What is going on people?
@@Joy-ms7cj Something going on with them but what's sad is that it's affecting someone else for no fault of his/her .Take care!
@@raginisharma9302 It hurts and is so confusing as they appear to be legitimate so guard your heart and move at your own pace. Love and light. Joy
Just flushed one guy with 2 of the 3 red flags 3 weeks into the connection. I feel so much better without crickets, false praise and emotionally unavailability in my life!
Women we know when our gut when he’s NOT into us ,when he’s flaky ,and inconsistent, we just don’t always initially see the signs, and take positive actions to take care of ourselves, videos like these help us to get better better.
☝️this
A man wastes my time when he keeps long calls late at night stealing my precious sleep hours. I've learned this lesson, my phone's always in silent mode rsrs
When he put in as much effort into seeing me as it takes to tie one’s shoelaces: none. Plans nothing. Follows through on nothing. Call for nothing. Just behaves like a bobble head. After 3 months, I noticed the behaviour and said peace to the planet. I give what I get and he was giving me nothing.
Bobble head lol
My story
***red flag---) always having phone issues to where unable to communicate and when he can it's only when he's free. 🏃 runnn!
When he blames things!
Excuses to not wanting to see you.
Wait for intamacy when he wants.
When he tells you something about your Body that needs change!
That's all Red Flags right there😡
Talks about himself,would rather here himself talk,in the beginning he'll want you to talk but as time goes on he will dominate the conversations
Mathew Thank you, very clearly stated!!
Red flags
-When he is talking about himself all the time.
-Listening to 3 sentences by me, urges him to change the subject.
-He is not asking questions to be able to understand what I meant.
-He subtly criticizes a behavior or has his solutions for it.
-Literally stealing my time because he needs energy supply. He needs to feel good.
-Details about his story don't add up. ( I am alone/ no, I don't live alone)
Typical Narcissistic behavior RUN!!
One of the red flags for me is not making me a priority. Sure other things like family is also a priority but so is your partner. Especially if you one day want to settle down. Otherwise you can just marry your parents if you are spending all your time with them. I think one needs to know their partners love language and do their best to meet them in the middle. My love language is quality time so I expect me and guy to meet at least once a week if we are in a relationship.
😂 I loved that: Marry your parents!!
Lol the marry your parents part was hilarious here!
Silent movie observation......genus!
Emily Reaves, you look stunning dear
@@lioydwilliams1850 Thank you, I am honored by the compliment. The credit must go to my parents, they are truly lovely and intellectual creatures.
@@VegasVibes88 You are welcome my dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?
My big pet peeve, when it's consistent, is when he doesn't address what you've said in a text. He just expresses his ideas. I wonder if he just skimmed it. This can be tricky because every now and then, he does take the time to talk about what you have said. Sometimes it just takes longer. Then you become aware that he will never be "the one," because he's not totally trying to know you, accept who you are, and love you for your similarities and differences.
If he is rude to the waitress or his mother. That’s going to be how he treats me in about a year. Lol. Also if he has a bad relationship/major unresolved anger or hurt w his dad. That will be how he sees himself as a partner unconsciously if that stuff is unresolved.
Dear I know a spellcaster who can help you OK
He helped me get my ex back within 48 hours
+2349031195702
Message him on WhatsApp
I can actually agree to this , been there!
A red flag is when he tells you how much he likes you but you can't meet his grown kids. He doesn't ask how you are when he phones, talks about himself and then says he finds you inspiring to talk to. Well it's not my job to motivate him to deal with his life. I'm busy doing that for myself. Also he's a "depreciator" not an "appreciator" (courtesy of Wayne Dryer for those terms).
Oh wow.
He got free counseling services.
Wow.
He probably juggles people for stuff that he needs.
So sorry that you got in his way.
Talk about perfect timing. I have a second date today with a guy that I just know in my guts isn't what I want. But I'm trying to be less judgmental. This video helped me decide. Thanks Mat! 😘
Please. Don't. Listen to your guts!
Any update since then..??!!!
Apparently, I never met a man who was really into me in my life. None of the men I used to date ever climbed the mountains or swam the sea for me🤷♀️ it happens.
+1
Well because these men do not exist. Even Matt needed years to marry his wife. He didn’t climbed the mountains to be with her.
Honestly I really dont know if that kind of man exists in today's world!
I feel you baby :(
@@Happy_teacher16 yeah, plus if you listen to their story, he only married her after she brought it up, like “what are we and what are we doing” it wasn’t even his initiative 🙄 she moved the relationship forward.
It's interesting Mat, you're actually describing some (there are many) of the red flags of a narcissist!! IF you see ANY of them, RUN!!
I’ll stay single..lol
Honestly if you analyse everything, we all end up single.
😂
The last guy I dated had all 3! 😳😬 luckily I wasn’t with him for long. My other red flag is if esp in the beginning, he never asks questions to get to know you, and your first date or first few dates are all about him. RUN.
Hiding me front of family or giving excuses for shifting relationships into next stages or third...if you ask him future...You aren't in his plans, trying to change you and who you are, keeping you uncertain because others possibilities...😅
Anna Horakova - Rani Yuna,you deserve a good man!!
I feel like an idiot. Three disastrous relationship and here I am repeating the same pattern, giving benefit of doubts and believing it will be alright.
You’re not an idiot. You’re a very kind human who has stuff to work out. I’ve found the best way out of negative repeating patterns is self compassion. Best of luck💕
@@erinosborn4602 you made my day. Thank you for taking the time. ❤️❤️ I hope I do find a way out of this loop.
Then my question would be, knowing all this, are you going to make the mistake a 4 th time ⁉️
@@misslanapford9169 I don't want to and I keep working on it. It gets really complicated at times and I feel I am being too harsh or selfish and inconsiderate to other person's issues so I give them benefit of doubt.
There's nothing wrong with giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Some people actually deserve it and will rise to the occasion when given the chance. Just make sure you have your boundaries in check and your eyes wide open. Know when enough is enough and you'll be fine ❤️
When people tell you who they are--in actions or words--believe them immediately.
Red flags 🚩 for me are not listening/caring about what I have to say(conversation centers on him), belittling, all talk and no action, excuses, guilt trips & manipulation.
Wow so accurate. The beauty and the beast analogy. My ex is extremely good looking and in the beginning of the relationship he told me how he left his exes for other women multiple times . How he moved out of his fiancés apartment without telling her because he met someone else . The girl did nothing wrong . He just wanted someone else and moved out without telling her. She came home to an empty apartment. I should of known. I’m kicking myself now. 😔
Red Flag : they keep their ex around. And the ex is okay with keeping it that way .
Both him and his ex will be toxic for you.
❤❤❤ THIS☝️☝️☝️
Happened to me. Now I'm a part of a whole toxic drama with lots of secrets and misinformation and hurt feelings.
@@jenfer7930 so sorry to hear that. You deserve so much better than toxic shit ❤️
My ex is my best friend and is apart of what I consider my family.
@@jenfer7930 Are u still in the boyfriend/boyfriend's ex/you triangle?
My biggest "Time Wasters" are guys that ask you out to make some other woman jealous. It's not about you and him. It's about her and him. Unfortunately you don't always know at first that you are being setup and used.
Yeah, that's a lame thing to do. Women probably do it more than guys, though 😆
Emotional home! What a brilliant and yet simple test that could have saved me a lot of heartache! Thanks!
This is great! What I struggle with is that in the beginning of dating someone and all the right signs are there. Then you end up marrying and now that they have you, they completely change and THEN you see all the red flags that wasn’t present before. ☹️
It's like they entrap you..been there done that..
Return that piece of trash just like you would return a defective product from a store.
When he told me that he doesn't want to hear my rants because he doesn't need any negativities from me. Also, comparing that all of his friends are positive thinker and I am not like them. This sounds bad on my side but he do not want to look after me during my hard times. And that breaks my heart even more.
So sorry to hear he is not supporting you. Of course we have ups and downs etc but seems he’s not there for your downs. At least now you can see what he’s able to give and decide what you want to do x
John Gray may have information to learn from, too, about how men and women communicate and understand each other. Save the complaints for girlfriends and women family members, because a man will feel he cannot help you and won't since he'll think that whatever he does will never be good enough. Maybe start with gratitude, and his behavior will change.
@@JS-mh1fh yes I love John Gray and UA-cam videos with him are always so in depth. Adrienne Everheart is another fave of mine 🌸🌸🌸
When a guy’s texting game is hot, but his in person game is cold
I know a powerful spellcaster who can help you ok
He helped me get my ex back, he can also help you too
+2349031195702
Message him on WhatsApp
Guys who just like you enough to string you along when he needed your presence and nothing beyond more.
Good advice as always, love the "crickets" and your little humorous injections. Thanks for your upbeat masculine perspective, helps all us girls understand men better.
@@cahilpeterson4978 Hi Cahil: I am a 65 yr. old grandmother. Altho my photo is fairly recent, I have a love interest, and this is not a dating site. You need someone your own age, but thanks for the ego boost.
Hello..how are you doing??
When he says “you could do so much better”… or… “you deserve better”…. And after 4 years I’m just realizing this… yes, I do deserve better than this 😪🥺
Same
These are such useful tips... I ended up with the Beauty and the Beast one, omg I wasted 7 years thinking our beautiful love would help him change. What an idiot. He even told me he didn't do commitment 🙄🙄🙄
When he ghosts or makes plans & doesn't follow through.. He prefers texting in the interim instead of calls/ meeting face-to-face.
SPOT ON!! I’ve experience all three of these and they all led to frustration. Wish I had heard this a year ago... This is gold.
I dated a guy who seemed to have anger issues with his mother, and both parents in general, when they both came to visit him. He was disrespectful to his mom right in front of me. I should’ve taken that as a red flag. But I had no prior experience or warning, because all my boyfriends beforehand were pretty respectful and well behaved.
Wow! These dead flags really were an eye opener. This was needed. Thanks Mat for this. ❤️
Thank you, Mat! Yes!!! Hot and cold behavior is lack of interest, period.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
@@richardrivas3294 that’s beautiful, thank you! 🤗
@@hirschiegirl it’s ok miss! Just believe! Moreover where are you from?
@@richardrivas3294 I’m in NJ