Melissa Lozada-Oliva - My Spanish
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- Опубліковано 17 вер 2024
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Melissa Lozada-Oliva, performing at WoWPS 2015 in Albuquerque, NM.
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My Spanish was never meant to be, an act of rebellion. My white father married my Native American/Mexican/Spanish mother as an act of conquest. He forbade my mother to teach my brother and I Spanish. But the thirst for knowledge started when my grandma would babysit, and I learned how to say that my grandma's dog had an overactive sex life, in Spanish. My parents divorced a few years later, and my father lost his ability to dictate what I did and didn't learn. I latched onto my Spanish elective classes in high school, enjoying the challenge of spelling in a new language. After high school, I took a few more semesters of Spanish in community college. When it was time to transfer, the university I was transferring to didn't offer my major, journalism, so I switched majors to... wanna guess?It was in those upper level classes that I realized that there is so much more to Spanish than verb conjugating, grammar, accents, tildes, etc. You have to suffer through years of the basics before you can fall in love with Cervantes, or the plays of Lorca, the love poems of Neruda, the stories of Borges, or the films of Almodovar. My Spanish is an act of rebellion, a super power that I break out whenever I need to. And it was never meant to be.
I cant stop crying this got me right in my heart. This hit so close to home. Amazing poem!!!
Do tell.
She put it to words, and did it so beautifully! This has been my lifelong struggle wanting to know Spanish, and later Italian, when I wanted so hard to connect to my family's roots when I finally had the chance to travel. I'm doing decently with the latter, but Spanish has always evaded me for some reason =/
Thank you so much, Melissa! I needed this. This is exactly how I feel with my own Spanish. I can have a full conversation with someone in Spanish, but there will always be a word or a phrase that I just can remember or haven't learned, a word "in the air." And it all ties in with not being able to communicate what you truly mean to family, which inhibits me from being able to create the relationship I want with them.
Awesome and so very true. Your culture is in your language and in your food...not where you were born. I grew up in the same divided manner... inarticulate in my Mother tongue...and unable to express myself fully in English.
she has a great delivery
I did not want this to end
My Spanish , my roots , my way of life and even my work , my way of communicating, Español es nuestra herencia y no dejen que muera
My Spanish is the other part of my soul. La parte de mi alma que sueña y ríe. La tonada inconfundible de mi abuela India y el color brillante de sus enagüas frondosas. El acordión lastimero de las ebrias norteñas de mi padre y los requintos melancólicos de los boleros de mi madre. My Spanish is a D in English as a second language porque las contradicciones del sintaxis me confundieron y el gerundio me traicionó.
Where is this from? This is beautiful!
¡Qué bonito!
Muy poético me encanta 😍😍
This is not only spoken, but also written with such power. I cannot and could never relate to this. This still evokes awe inspiring emotion from me. Absolutely incredible.
Presente from Patagonia in Argentina 💗
I had to listen almost 10-15 times to get all the imagery/symbolism, I love this!!
The way my mind always comes back to this poem and performance, even years later. Thank you, Melissa. You captured a feeling of longing and remembering so deep, I'm still trying to follow the thread to the center of it.
Jesus, I never thought a language could be transformed in such a beautiful thing.
I didn't learn English in an ELD class room but I teach English to English learners. I found this poem quite moving.
She is absolutely amazing!
love love love this.
SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE LORNA MORELLO FROM OITNB
Ľøŕď Šâťáņ Jőņëş they have resemblances, lorna is just a paler version of melissa
Hahahaha omg she does
I thought the exact same thing when I saw this
I was looking for this comment
My Spanish... Is my first language
I'm so in love with button poetry ever since😍
i love this performance of this poem
My Spanish is Subtitled.
Song Writer Blue My English is Subtitled. 😆
muy hermoso melissa!
I can watch this over and over again!
This truly hit home.
Mi Español mi Español... Me jode la vida por que no se comó poner los cabrones acentos y siempre me cuelgo en los examenes.
+Leocomander THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH
Me pasa lo mismo
Igual jaja
Hay reglas para los acentos y los tiempos de los verbos como el gerundio no es usado en la vida diaria, solo si usas hablar con un español más antigüo
i love this so much!!
I love this
Wow, her writing and presenting is perfection. Well done!
solamente alguien con la suficiente inteligencia como para no olvidar ese idioma que le enseñó su madre en sus primeros dias puede hacer un poema tan bonito sobre nuestra hermosa lengua; idioma que en España, aunque parezca mentira, hay gente que odia...
Breathtaking
I was in a trance. Amazing
Soul moving words love love love
Incredible piece xx
Love it...thank you so much!
Perfecto!!!!!!
I love this.
Qué cosa más hermosa este poema!
Te amo en todos los idiomas ❤️😚
Amazing, Melissa
As Julius Winnfield would say:
Say "My Spanish" again!
Say "My Spanish" again!
This is “My English”. Thank you, You couldn’t describe It better.
if you ask me if I am fluent in Spanish
I will tell you my Spanish is an itchy
phantom limb it is reaching for words
and only finding air my Spanish is my
3rd birthday party half of it is memory
the other half is that photograph on the
fridge is what my family has told me my
Spanish is puzzle left in the rain too
soggy to make its parts fit together to
look just like the picture on the box my
Spanish is possessive adjectives it is
proper nouns dressed in pearls and
bracelets it is are you up yet it is
there is a lot of work to do today my
Spanish is on my resume as a skill my
Spanish is on my toothbrush in red mouth
marks my Spanish is so hungry my Spanish
reaches for words at the top of a shelf
with no stepping stool is hit in the
head with all of the words that I've
been hiding up there my Spanish wonders
if it's bad to eat something that's
expired
my Spanish wonders if it has an
expiration date
my Spanish asks you why it's always
being compared to food a spicy hot sisal
my Spanish wants to let you know it is
not something to be eaten and then shit
out but does not really believe it too
my Spanish my Spanish if you ask me if I
am fluent in Spanish I'll tell you my
Spanish sits in the corner of a
classroom choose on a pencil does not
raise its hand my Spanish is my sister's
source smile at her only beauty-pageant
my Spanish is a made-up story about a
parent who never came home my Spanish is
a made-up story about a parent who never
came home but traveled to beautiful
countries sent me postcards from all of
them my Spanish is me tracing every
letter they were able to fit in my
Spanish is true story of my parents
divorce
chaotic broken something I have to
choose to remember correctly my Spanish
is asking me if my parents are American
asking me if I'm white yet to my Spanish
my Spanish if you ask me if I am fluent
in Spanish I'll try to tell you a story
of how my parents met in an ESL class
how it was when they trained their
mouths to say I love you in a different
language I hate you with their mouths
shut I'll tell you how my father's
accent makes him sound like Zorro how my
mother tried to tire tongue to a post
with an English language leash how the
tongue always ran stubbornly back to the
language it had always been in love with
even when she tried to tame it it always
turned loose my Spanish my Spanish my
Spanish is understanding there are
stories that will always be out of my
reach there are people who will never
fit together the way that I wanted them
to there are letters that will always
stay silent there are words that will
always escape me
My French...
This should be shown to anyone who thinks their Spanish sucks. Spanish is not only a skill, but much more than that--- it is our culture, identity, and a complicated history
Harsh, true, beautiful ...
God, I'm so moved.
Love
wow!
No sé si habla español la poeta, pero si bien me gustó mucho el poema porque atraviesa el tiempo y me muestra el rompecabezas de su mundo interior, mucho del cual es su pasado hispánico, con una gran emoción sonora por medio del flujo de conciencia; me puse a pensar si el saber la lengua española le ayudaría a ella a articular todas esa piezas sueltas. Si lo dijera en español construiría otro sentido sobre su pasado y elementos hispanos de su vida. No mejor, sino otro quiero creer, con un sentido de pertenencia al mundo hispano, ese que se pierde al emigrar a EUA. Aunque, bueno, esto está cambiando, ya en algunas regiones parece que se va a otro país hispano, sobre todo cuando los hispanos se empoderan por medio de negocios, buenos empleos, educación y participación política.
awesome simply beautiful
Great job Melissa, if you put the CC in spanish to sahre with the Spanish speakers, will be great, Thanks!
I think Button Poetry has control over that, since it's their channel not hers.
Sí, es intenso. Pasa por un montón de recuerdos, un montón de sentimientos. Hay un momento de desesperación casi, de rabia, cuando repite por primera vez l nombre de la lengua. Y luego...libera la correa y empiezas a entender todos los sentimientos
She reminds me of Sarah Kay
I understood every second
So is that a yes or a no
That's the point...
She said "spanish" so many times now it sounds weird
that's what spoken word poems sound like. Its for emphasis
Lol
just shout out your mouth.
YAS QUEEN Thank you. I definitely understood that it was based on her experience of being Latina (Spanish). I guess the better term would be I do not understand her personifications. For example: "My Spanish is my sister's sore smile at her only beauty pageant." What does that have to do with her being "Spanish"? "My Spanish sits in the corner of a classroom. Chews on a pencil. Does not raise it's hand." Embarrassing... possibly? The poem is beautiful but a bit confusing, at least to me. I have very different experiences of being Latina , "Spanish".
Cindy Lou I can relate with you in that I did not understand all of her personifications. I think she wasn't identifying as being "Spanish," but simply alluding to the language and her experiences growing up in a Spanish speaking household. This makes a bit more sense when she talks about her parents' experience in ESL. YAS QUEEN has a great point though. We are not going to understand because the experiences are some what unique to Melissa's life. Thus, we would need to ask her personally!
That's very true Christian J. Murillo. "My Spanish" would be self identification.
Christian J. Murillo I think 'My Spanish' is equivalent to her parents, the poem is about her parents and Spanish being her roots which traces back to what YAS QUEEN said
(i think lol)
Wow.
very nice
if you like melissa's poems, pre-order her new chapbook here! indiegogo.com/projects/plastic-pajaros-poetry-by-melissa-lozada-oliva
My Spanish, my Catalan, my Basque, my Galician, my Asturian, my Portuguese, my Yanomami, my Quechua, my Cherokee, my Seminole, roots, memories and greater universal culture than monolinguals.
can someone explain this to me? I get it but I also think it would help to get more insight :)
there are a lot of things that this poem means. it's about how she sort of knows spanish and sort of doesn't, and how she feels a disconnect in her culture because of it. theres also underlying themes of the racism and fetishism of hispanic culture, and how white ppl treat her spanish and also how she relates spanish to her parents divorce because they would have fights in spanish that she couldnt quite understand.
inna egglady thank you sm! :)
My Spanish is mine!
What
is there a way to get a transcript of this??
If you ask me if I am fluent in Spanish, I will tell you my Spanish is an itchy phantom limb. It is reaching for words and only finding air. My Spanish is my third birthday party. Half of it is memory, the other half is that photograph on the fridge, is what my family has told me. My Spanish is puzzle, left in the rain too soggy to make its parts fit together to look just like the picture on the box. My Spanish is possessive adjectives, is proper nouns dressed in pearls and bracelets, it is are you up yet. It is there as a lot of work to do today. My Spanish is on my resume as a skill. My Spanish is on my toothbrush in red mouth marks. My Spanish is so hungry. My Spanish reaches for words at the top of the shelve, with no stepping stool, is hit in the head with all of the words that I’ve been hiding up there. My Spanish wonders if it’s bad to eat something that is expired. My Spanish wonders if it has an expiration date. My Spanish asks you why is always being compared to food; spicy, hot, sizzle. My Spanish wants to let you know it is not something to be eaten and then shit out. But is not! Really believe it. My Spanish.. my Spanish.. If you ask me if I am fluent in Spanish I’ll tell you my Spanish seats in a corner of a classroom, choose on a pencil thus not to raise its hand. My Spanish is my sister’s sore smile at her only beauty pageant. My Spanish is a made up story about a parent who never came home. My Spanish is a made up story about a parent who never came home, but traveled to beautiful countries; sent me postcards from all of them. My Spanish is me tracing every letter they were able to fit in. My Spanish is true story of my parent’s divorce; chaotic, broken, something I have to choose to remember correctly. My Spanish is asking me if my parents are American; asking me if I am white, yet my Spanish.. my Spanish. I you ask me if I am fluent in Spanish I’ll try to tell you a story of how my parents met in an ESL class, how it was when they trained their mouths to say I love you in a different language, I hate you with their mouths shut. I’ll tell you how my father’s accent makes him sound like sorrow, how my mother tried to tie her tongue to a post with an English language leash, how the tongue always runs stubbornly back to the language that I’ve always been in love with. Even when she tried to tame it, it always turned loose. My Spanish, my Spanish, my Spanish is understanding, there are stories that will always be out of my reach, there are people who will never fit together the way that I wanted them to, there are letters that will always stay silent, there are words that will always escape me.
Nicely done! just a thought, I think instead of "choose on a pencil thus not raise its hand" is "chews on a pencil and does not raise its hand".
Diego Ibanez h
enticing
Qué dijo?
I would change it to"My English" since spanish is my primary Language. Even the ESL class fits 😳
holy shit.
Is there a book where this poem is in?
yo hablo español xq soy de venezuela
My Spanish is a reminder of the genocide committed against my culture…. And still here I am more tolteca than ever
She looks like my Tia Jessica
As beautiful as this poem is, it would have made a bigger impact in Spanish.
Nunca entenderé que un hijo no hable bien la lengua de sus padres. Algo q me sorprendió muchísimo, para mal, de los latinos nacidos en USA cuando visité ese país...para mi es como hacerlo menos hijo tuyo...lástima y pena
Por no hablar de las ventajas de conocer 2 lenguas...
Le recomiendo mirar el video del Instituto Cervantes: "El futuro de la lengua espanola en Estados Unidos. Despejara un poco sus dudas, le evitara entender y no juzgar.
lisen to this and eevee-' I wonder if we're dead ' at the same time. Your welcome
save western civilization
C
My Spanish...my ass
So.... She speak Spanish ;)
How fluent is your english??
did you... listen to this
+rose schrooder rose my dear, what a great name. yes i heard *this. *this is a pointer referring to the object calling this-> function. And i dont understand this shit!!!! She is bitching to the world, and the world has for worse troubles.
+Ramon Araujo It's a poem. It's expressing emotion, talking about something she is passionate about. You didn't have to listen, and even if you thought it was something else, and watched it and hated it, you didn't have to comment on it.
+Phantastic Fandoms Ah i see, and because my question was thoughtful and provoking and filled with emotion and you didnt like it YOU did not have to comment on it.
Ramon Araujo I was referring to your reply to rose.
Entonces no Spanish ?
my spanish leaves a bad taste in my mouth like my English, my tongue longs for my ancient language that my grandmother still spoke, Nahuatl.
Como mexicano viviendo en Mexico e inmerso en mi cultura. Siento una decadencia de raices en este poema reflejo de que el español de cervantes solo signifique algo simple y mortal. La desconexion de la cultura y tus raices es notoria. POr lo que invito a todos aquellos con raices latinas busquen sus raices. No sean palabras sin sentido que no definen nada de este gran idioma español con ññññ que nos hicieron aprender a sangre y esclavismo y la colonizacion y mezcla de culturas que dio origen a palabras y un cultura diversa.
Edgar Pasillas la desconexión de su cultura? Veo que no entiendes la herencia hispana en los Estados Unidos.. Ella no es Mexicana y entiéndelo como tal por que México no representa el español acá es más que eso ,es multicultural diversos países de habla hispana simplemente es grandioso conocer personas de varios países ,sus culturas y el Español nós una..
Edgar Pasillas Como mexicano que vive en ee uu, identifico la santurronería y el menosprecio arrogante de tu comentario. Me parece que has decidido sermonear los sentientos de una poeta y que además lo has hecho con pésima ortografía. Yo te exhorto a que escuches el poema sin prejuicio ni complejos y quizás, si tu soberbia lo permite, identificarás no la erosión de una cultura sino la expresión del vástago de la misma.
Sorry, I really didn't understand any of it. I guess I can't relate.
YAS QUEEN right on, Yas Queen! :)
well I'm a bit jealous that i have the latina background but growing up in canada my mom had to learn english while raising me without any of her family here (they're in dominican republic) and i never got to experience these latina roots. i always wished i did. took spanish 4 years in uni. haha rant out
Jajajaja que verga es esto?
My Spanish is bad
No mame profa pinche trabajao
Is she fluent in spanish or not? She never answered the question.
Good question... Hmmmm
😐
But what are you waiting to learn Spanish dude! Just practice it and stop talking full in English
The type of people who use the x instead of o bc they believe English is "more evolved" and at the same time think of themselves woke and "anti-racist"
this is weird asf
If she didn't write this poem, she could have been practicing her Spanish. If white kids from Kansas can learn Japanese via Rosetta Stone cuz they're obsessive over anime or Japanese culture, then she can learn Spanish and not sound like a white girl.
Its way more than just being able to speak it, at least in which the poem is trying to portray. Its knowing the language in its richest form and to not be called "gringa". The difference between her and the white kids in Kansas are the guilt of not feeling you're good enough for your own culture. That no matter how much you practice, there's still this taste in your mouth that belongs to a different country. I do believe you can become better via Rosetta stone, but i do believe that there's something much bigger by saying she can't speak the language fluently.
I can't imagine how dense is your mind for you to say that after watching the video
Ok BRIAN you probably don’t even know how hard it is to have to be able to speak two languages when you’re surrounded in a country where everyone says Speak English, you probably don’t know how it feels to not be good enough for your own culture, and being called names like gringo or beaner you probably don’t know nothing about that.
@@josemiranda4249 Well, I'm Hispanic. I know three languages. It's called practice and effort, anyone can learn a language. People have told me to speak English while I was on my phone with my mom who only speaks Spanish and I told them to suck my dick. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.