How my parents found out about my self harm | My story part 2 | Selfharmerproblems

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  • Опубліковано 19 січ 2020

КОМЕНТАРІ • 228

  • @estefaniagutierrez6575
    @estefaniagutierrez6575 3 роки тому +39

    when ppl say "what's on your wrist" or "what happened to your arm" my heart sink

  • @Gg-qy3bq
    @Gg-qy3bq 4 роки тому +364

    When my mom found out I was shoveling the snow and when I came inside she wanted me to take my jacket off and we had a face off for 3 hours and then I finally told her, I’m in therapy now and I was 3 months clean and then I just broke down like 20 minutes ago and now I’m 15 minutes clean. I shouldn’t have made this comment but I just wanted to tell someone who understands.

    • @neverfreefromawakening5665
      @neverfreefromawakening5665 3 роки тому +20

      Hi, its been 8 months, can I ask how you've been doing?

    • @meowdazaimeow
      @meowdazaimeow 3 роки тому +12

      How is life? I hope you’re okay..

    • @focusslaps2655
      @focusslaps2655 3 роки тому +10

      hey bro, how are u doing?

    • @waterbasednutrients
      @waterbasednutrients 3 роки тому +6

      Hey man, are you good?

    • @jae5187
      @jae5187 3 роки тому +4

      How are you doing my love? We care for you and always here, even if you don’t know us

  • @pumpqueenstories1775
    @pumpqueenstories1775 4 роки тому +154

    Yesterday i was watching a video where a person was ranting about a girl that was glorifying self harm and such. My mom had just walked into my room when the video showed people who took 'aesthetic' self harm pictures. (They wanted to explain how messed up it was). My mom then got mad at me and just said "dont you dare ever do that" and i just feel so embarrassed because i have already... If she would ever find out she would definitely 1. Scold me 2. Think i was doing it because of shit on the internet
    Those ironic comments you see where they say that parents say "its because of that damned phone" to everything? That would be my situation.

    • @Gir_XD_20
      @Gir_XD_20 2 роки тому +3

      Same.. my parents wouldn't care and just blame it on the phone..

    • @saffron_lunic
      @saffron_lunic 2 роки тому +6

      I had literally told my mother that I think I might have depression (before I started self-harming) and her reply was: I am sorry, but I really don't know anything about these things. And a few days ago that incident she was joking that how she think she have depression.

    • @holly1986
      @holly1986 2 роки тому +2

      @@saffron_lunic that same thing happened to me:(

  • @lynx3950
    @lynx3950 3 роки тому +115

    My parents don't know, and I'm honestly really scared to tell them or have them find out. The closest time they almost found out was when I had to go to the hospital (I was never a full patient, I'm fine now), for a bit they were wondering if it was my appendix. When I realized I might've had to go in for emergency surgery, I was so scared a doctor would see the scars on my thigh and tell my mom. I even cried a bit, my mom was with me and thought it was just the fear of possibly needing surgery (that was definitely part of it though). Currently, I've been clean for about 2 and a half months. I sorta hate that I'm clean but I also hate the scars. Sorry if I overshared, no one really knows, and the only person I've told that I still talk to (I've told 2 people in total) thinks I'm cleaner for a lot longer than I am.

    • @bowiek4401
      @bowiek4401 3 роки тому +2

      heyy its been 3 months how r u now?
      if u havent told ur parents yet please do
      i im going to write a letter i think so if ur scared u could maybe do that too!
      also im very proud of you for staying clean for so long, also i totally get that you hate that you're clean i feel the same way.
      i hope u r doing okay now have a great day :)

    • @saffron_lunic
      @saffron_lunic 2 роки тому +3

      Hey, I really don't want to post this and remind you all about that stuff, but, it's been a year or maybe more, sooooooo, how's everything going?

  • @ellaluv9951
    @ellaluv9951 3 роки тому +60

    I was washing my face and I had my sleeve up on accident and my mom caught me and he said “what’s on your arm “and I walked out of the room and the hardest words to hear are “let me see your arm” I lied and said I accidentally scratched myself

    • @Em_Elizabeth
      @Em_Elizabeth 3 роки тому +4

      I once made the comment "this makes me feel like scratching up my arms" and my mom demanded to see... lo and behold, I was all talk. I never do the arms.

    • @etherfir
      @etherfir 3 роки тому +6

      @@jwl4340 i’ve had multiple dreams where the fear of people seeing my legs was still present

    • @sarahmay7661
      @sarahmay7661 3 роки тому +1

      ya i posted a comet a sec ago, but when i was in placement a staff mememberf saw a scar i had and it was super weird we like kinda froze i think he asked what i was going to tell my kids if i ever had any.

    • @fagnasu
      @fagnasu 2 роки тому +1

      ​@@jwl4340 brah, i've had a bad dream with 'let me see your arm' feat. my mother pulling my hand aggressively, it felt so realistic at the time :o

  • @greyv9107
    @greyv9107 4 роки тому +157

    my parents reacted quite similarly. they already knew i was struggling with mental health and my mom knew i self harmed in the past, but not currently. when they found out it was september 16, 2019. i was so motivated to recover after cause my dad told me he was scared, and he had only seen the shallow cuts on my bicep, not my thighs which were a mess. i ended up self harming a week later. the longest ive been clean since then is 10 weeks. i see a therapist weekly but ive lost all motivation to recover. im somehow 2 weeks clean right now. im not sure why i commented this, just wanted to share my experience as well. to anyone reading this, youre so strong and you deserve good in your life ❤️

    • @cioccolatalover9295
      @cioccolatalover9295 4 роки тому +9

      You can do it pal! I know how hard and it is and how addictive it gets, but you can do it! I'm 4 months clean after 4 years of doing it. It's possible, just take one day at a time. In the hardest moments just think to stay strong until the next hour or day, then another one and so on, take a day at a time and keep going. Eventually some day you won't even have to tell yourself to wait but you'll be able to just tell yourself to say "just dont do it, it's not worth it" and you'll have less and less moments of urge and it will get better. At least that helped me. I believe in you💖

    • @marenbecker9245
      @marenbecker9245 4 роки тому +6

      Honestly man i Hope U really get better❤️ and Just Always have in mind it will get better somehow someday , i Guss it will Take so much time Like i experience with myself. Try To Set yourself Dates Like idk your Birthday or something that was a huge Part for me Not To kill myself, And used for selfharm i knew when some days i needed To Go swimming in school or whatever where i couldnt hinde fresh wounds or scars i would Just say To myself :" you need To wait until then" and eventually then was the next event.
      I Hope this maby helps.
      Best wishes and alot of strengt To you ❤️

    • @randomseven76
      @randomseven76 4 роки тому +3

      Il this was two months ago but I hope u r doing well

    • @delieibelieveicanfly9854
      @delieibelieveicanfly9854 3 роки тому +1

      Are you feeling better now?

    • @greyv9107
      @greyv9107 3 роки тому +2

      @@delieibelieveicanfly9854 im properly medicated now and im back on track recovery wise. ive been feeling much better overall recently, thanks for caring ❤️ i hope you are doing okay too

  • @YouTubeChannel-uw4bd
    @YouTubeChannel-uw4bd 4 роки тому +110

    It was a few weeks ago.
    The whole day I had been lying. I said I was doing homework. I didn’t. I was crying in bed, watching 13 Reasons Why, and self harming. At 8:30 my mom was worried about my schoolwork and said that I didn’t submit one thing yet (everything is use at 9). I was texting a self harm hotline number when she walked in. My dad came up and started yelling at me for not doing my work. I screamed “I hate myself”. And my dad yelled “That’s not true”. My mum made him go away. He took my phone with him. I wanted to tell my mum about my self harming. I kept imagining my dad looking through the texts. I told her I self harmed. She instantly grabbed my arm and looked at my wrist. At that moment I felt terrible. That my self harm wasn’t real because it wasn’t on my wrists. I showed her my shoulder. I felt like it wasn’t bloody enough. That I didn’t do it long enough. That the cuts weren’t deep enough. She told me about how she had troubles with alcohol before I was born. We were both crying. Then it was over. I was crying and I had to work on my Latin assignment. By then it was 8:50. She made me work on that even though I was obviously going through something. I need up submitting the next day.
    That made me feel so fucking bad. That I didn’t cut deep enough.
    On Friday, 5 days ago, I self harmed for the first time since. I was sitting on my bathroom counter. I was thinking, I will never self harm. That makes me ugly. Instead I will fast. I won’t eat over the weekend. I dropped a glass bottle, just really small two inches tall. I picked up all the pieces while crying. I was playing the same song over and over again. It is called “Panic Room”. It was so triggering. I accidentally cut my foot. There was blood everywhere. I threw all the small prices away, but kept the two biggest. I cut myself. Just two scratches, really. But it felt so good for some reason. I have the pieces wrapped in a tissue on a shelf in my closet. I haven’t used them again, but I probably will.
    My dad doesn’t know. And my mum never talks about it.

    • @dylanminnettesfuturewife4108
      @dylanminnettesfuturewife4108 4 роки тому +7

      i feel like we're going through the same thing. also i really really hope you're ok now. youre loved and amazing. don't hurt yourself. also if you want to talk, my instagrams @_._cattt._

    • @mysteryoctopus8699
      @mysteryoctopus8699 2 роки тому

      Hey, i care about you. I dont know you, but I care. If you want to talk, I am here. I can give you my number

    • @IscBluelifeform
      @IscBluelifeform 10 місяців тому

      @@sanchitarts2240 Don't do it, if you're feeling this is, in any way, a method of getting by your problems, you need to look for actual professional help, if you can't, even talking to a friend should be good, not to mention the guilt and anxiety it leads to in the long term, think about this as any other addiction as drinking or smoking, it's not worth it in the long run.
      But as someone who has been doing it since just a month or so back, yes it helps me with emotional pain, stress and those thoughts that are stronger than me, when I do it the world seems brighter, It gets my head clear, the thoughts in my head are all mine and not my emotions talking I feel not hopeless...

    • @madebymadzz
      @madebymadzz 7 місяців тому

      @@sanchitarts2240 no dont its not worth it

  • @crybabybyheart1262
    @crybabybyheart1262 3 роки тому +203

    Everyone's sayings how long they've been clean for so, I've been self harm clean for 1 hour, I'm not proud of it, and I'm going to go see a therapist soon.

    • @suicidalsleeper6115
      @suicidalsleeper6115 3 роки тому +18

      I’m proud of you for getting help, I know its hard- and idk how long you’ve been clean now, 2 weeks later- but i’m proud of you either way 🕺

    • @stwawbewwi4185
      @stwawbewwi4185 3 роки тому +5

      Hey! It’s been a few months since you commented, idk if it’s weird to ask but how is visiting the therapist going if you did go?

    • @nyaknife7778
      @nyaknife7778 3 роки тому +3

      hey how are you doing now?

    • @axolotl7153
      @axolotl7153 3 роки тому +2

      I’ve asked my parents for a therapist. They said no. I need help tho but idk how to get it

    • @blueriverprintablesandplan6498
      @blueriverprintablesandplan6498 3 роки тому +2

      @@axolotl7153 I'm assuming you're still in school? Ask to talk to your SAC

  • @idiotsandwich115
    @idiotsandwich115 2 роки тому +24

    Tw:
    Today, my parents found out that I cut myself (again). My dad understands me and wants to support me in every way possible, which makes me feel better, but my mom screamed and yelled at me. She said "If you want to kill yourself, get in the car and we'll drive against a fucking tree then. I raised you for 17 years for nothing!"... This hurts so damn much. I feel like a disappointment

    • @eatinoribkems
      @eatinoribkems 9 місяців тому +1

      its been a year but your mom was so scared that fear turned into anger

    • @mollyelv
      @mollyelv 4 місяці тому

      Ur mom sounds exactly like my mom... Its so sad...

  • @cioccolatalover9295
    @cioccolatalover9295 4 роки тому +101

    My parents found out last winter when I got hospitalized in the mental ward for being dangerously suicidal and me being underage my doctor had to tell them, it was on my papers anyway that were given to them at my discharge so my psychiatrist told my mum, after almost 4 years of hiding it..it was really hard. Luckily I talked about it beforehand with my doctor and she agreed with me to only tell my mum and ask her to never bring it up or ask anything about it. I had bad experiences with my dad knowing this kind of stuff, I've suffered from trichothillomania (idk how to spell it) since I was 11 and when my dad found out he started to make fun of me, use it as an insult or to make me feel guilty telling me I was doing it on purpose just to make my mum feel bad. The less he knows the better :/
    I'm 18 years old now. I'm diagnosed with ocd, major depression, generalised anxiety and bulimia from my hospitalization last year and since I turned 18 I had to change doctor and the new one is currently trying to understand if I may have bpd. It's all so scary but I'm 4 months clean from sh :3 I really hope everything gets better for anyone who's struggling

    • @ivveyye
      @ivveyye 4 роки тому +8

      you're so strong,, I'm proud of you and I'm glad you're still here with us 💘💘

    • @cioccolatalover9295
      @cioccolatalover9295 4 роки тому +7

      @@ivveyye thank you so much❤, it is always hard to believe these words with all the voices telling me otherwise but I deeply appreciate them. There should be more people like you in this world.💖🌍

    • @Selfharmerproblems
      @Selfharmerproblems  4 роки тому +12

      Good job! That's amazing

    • @cioccolatalover9295
      @cioccolatalover9295 4 роки тому +2

      @@Selfharmerproblems thank you so much and thank you for your videos. They help me a lot to feel less alone help me see everything under new perspectives i didn't think about yet, keep it up💖 I hope you're having a good day! (Btw I'm from Italy so we should be in the same time zone )

    • @briley.w3683
      @briley.w3683 2 роки тому +1

      I sh and have Trichotillomania

  • @aleaf4627
    @aleaf4627 3 роки тому +11

    I’m so scared of my parents finding out.. idk how they’ll react but they’re the type who would probably yell at me :/

  • @Endwidgeon
    @Endwidgeon 3 роки тому +11

    i’ve been clean for about a half hour now

    • @mr.glassman5412
      @mr.glassman5412 3 роки тому +3

      I'm proud of you! I'm one day clean but keep resetting my progress. As long as we keep trying to better ourselves is all that matters.

  • @nayelihawkins8037
    @nayelihawkins8037 3 роки тому +34

    I'm terrified if my parents ever found out. I'd be killed and my life would only go down hill djdbbd

    • @midnightstorm5395
      @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому

      I am 11,I am a day clean so far but I’m so scared to because in a week I have to go to a doctors appointment and I’m going to have to show my wrist and thighs.my mom doesn’t know she is very abusive! Also I hope you are doing ok

    • @mansikka8487
      @mansikka8487 3 роки тому

      @@midnightstorm5395 good luck

    • @midnightstorm5395
      @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому

      @@mansikka8487 thank you!

    • @mansikka8487
      @mansikka8487 3 роки тому

      @@midnightstorm5395 you’re welcome! You got this ❤️

    • @midnightstorm5395
      @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому

      @@mansikka8487 thank you so much! I relapsed yesterday but it’s ok!

  • @idk0709
    @idk0709 3 роки тому +65

    My parents found out today :>
    It's so- hard about it right now
    I just wanna cry
    I didn't look at my dad for the rest of the day after he found out (it's 11:01 pm where I am)
    My dad dealed with it way differently than my step mom
    I went outside with my step mom today, she seemed to blame herself for me self harming
    My dad asked me questions like: what did I use, why, when, who gave me an idea to
    (I didn't answer mostly of the questions, I asked to go to the bathroom so I could leave to avoid answering, he didn't let me leave until I finally answered a few. That doesn't matter really)
    That's all I can think about today, I hope they won't start checking my arms :>
    _I just wanted to write everything down here, this is just like a note book for me now_

  • @kaidynnevans8804
    @kaidynnevans8804 4 роки тому +227

    Totally off topic, but how do you do your eyeliner? It always looks amazing!

    • @Selfharmerproblems
      @Selfharmerproblems  4 роки тому +79

      Thank you ! Looots of daily practice ^^ I use the waterproof liquid eyeliner from Essence

    • @evadazagonzalez1642
      @evadazagonzalez1642 3 роки тому +26

      @@Selfharmerproblems yes!! Essence is a great brand. I love it

  • @forrestferndarlin7113
    @forrestferndarlin7113 3 роки тому +8

    When I first started self harming I didn't really know why I felt the way I did. And one day at summer camp a few kids found out and I guess one of them told the camp leader cus she confronted me about it and then when I got home my mom confronted me about it and started crying cus she thought people would think she's a bad parent and told me if I stopped cutting myself she'd reward me by taking me to hot topic. It's been several years since then and I've realised one of the reasons why I started is because she's a bad parent.

  • @Rebelwithacause94
    @Rebelwithacause94 4 роки тому +25

    My mum hit the roof the first year I self harmed threatened to send me to a psych ward. After that the anger got less as they realised I had a serious issue and just left it to me to become clean

  • @seven9028
    @seven9028 3 роки тому +61

    I'm one day clean, will probably change later today. I'm starting therapy in three days. Wish me luck! :D
    UPDATE: My therapist is the greatest person in the entire world and I love her she lets me rant to her for one hour a week and it's the most refreshing thing she keeps me sane

    • @sarahmay7661
      @sarahmay7661 3 роки тому +4

      thats whats been going through my head today im like i really want to do this then im like no then im like maybe then im like...

    • @user-fo1kz3zc8x
      @user-fo1kz3zc8x 3 роки тому +3

      i really hope your therapist is a good one, it can help so much just to vent your problems to somebody else

    • @cleo.69
      @cleo.69 9 місяців тому +2

      How are things going now buddy? Xxx

    • @seven9028
      @seven9028 9 місяців тому +1

      @@cleo.69 six months clean, three months sober, one week into quitting smoking :) going to uni, getting my drivers, fixing my sleep, getting my life together
      it doesnt all fix itself, but it gets better. ty random person, reminded me how much better ive got

    • @cleo.69
      @cleo.69 9 місяців тому

      @@seven9028 thats so awesome, I am so proud of you, keep striving to be better 💕💕

  • @rianamckenzie6725
    @rianamckenzie6725 2 роки тому +4

    3 days clean ♡

  • @eitmrnbiwbo
    @eitmrnbiwbo 4 роки тому +26

    my parents still don't know and it's been 5 years no. i think i'm okay then i'm not and i'm too afraid to tell them and i just don't know how to tell them

  • @emmalolol1121
    @emmalolol1121 4 роки тому +37

    My nan found my blade under my pillow, but obviously she knows nothing about self harm and she hasn’t dealt with it in the past. She was as happy as could be. I’m 12, 13 in October and i’m currently 20 days clean :)

    • @puddle5557
      @puddle5557 3 роки тому +3

      I'm also 12, 13 in April and I've been clean for 30 min (ㆁωㆁ;)

    • @mysteryoctopus8699
      @mysteryoctopus8699 2 роки тому +1

      I am here if you want to talk

    • @JJ-yw3hm
      @JJ-yw3hm 2 роки тому +1

      How are you?

    • @emmalolol1121
      @emmalolol1121 2 роки тому +1

      @@JJ-yw3hm i’ve been better how are you?

    • @JJ-yw3hm
      @JJ-yw3hm 2 роки тому +1

      @@emmalolol1121 I’ve also been better, if you wanna talk, I’m here for you

  • @Harajukubarbie333
    @Harajukubarbie333 3 роки тому +18

    I wish my parents cared they never notice anything. My mom acted shocked when I told her that I was diagnosed with depression from my therapist. I’m 16 almost 17 now and I’ve been self harming since 11-12 and she doesn’t even know. I’ve had an eating disorder since like age 12-13 and she doesn’t know either. Like how are you so oblivious?

  • @noone4302
    @noone4302 3 роки тому +19

    When my parents (specifically my mother) found out, she said the next time I did it she would send me to a mental hospital or something, which made me stop for a while until I learned to hide it better (which isn't a good thing! But I don't think that was the best response because I still struggle with it to this day, but much more determined in hiding it instead)

    • @mysteryoctopus8699
      @mysteryoctopus8699 2 роки тому +1

      I am here if you want to talk

    • @holly1986
      @holly1986 2 роки тому +1

      this is the most relatable thing I’ve heard. the exact same situation happened with me. still to this day struggling! but I hope you’ll be okay always here if you wanna talk

  • @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825
    @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825 3 роки тому +28

    last month I had shorts on and I had only just recently started cutting on my thigh so it wasn't that bad- but anyway I walked past my mom and she touched it and went "when did that happen" and I was like "Oh I got scratched by the plants while doing some work outside" and she's like oh okay and I was like p h e w.

    • @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825
      @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825 3 роки тому +1

      @Grace Wilcox AKSBKSBS I dunno how many days clean I am but yeah- I'm okayer now

    • @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825
      @itsbeenawhilehowareyou4825 3 роки тому

      @Grace Wilcox thanks for your concern for (´ . .̫ . `)

    • @mysteryoctopus8699
      @mysteryoctopus8699 2 роки тому +1

      Do you want to talk?

    • @annymus4502
      @annymus4502 2 роки тому +3

      Same but I came up with something way less believable
      "Oh, yeah, I slipt and fell l in the playground grass, and hit a few rocks haha"

  • @Ozisl
    @Ozisl 3 роки тому +9

    My parents found out I was suicidal and cut and they didn't react. That was hard. I still have trouble with people caring about me.

    • @user-fo1kz3zc8x
      @user-fo1kz3zc8x 3 роки тому

      that’s how mine did too. please just know that you don’t need validation from your parents if they aren’t respectable people.

  • @GUROBOY..
    @GUROBOY.. 3 роки тому +15

    I used to be super good at special effects and was able to make it look like I had blood on my hands because some of my skin was ripped off, and she found a picture of my cuts on my phone (I took a picture to prove I wasn’t lying about anything) and I told her it was some special effects I would do on my friend

  • @moony7637
    @moony7637 3 роки тому +12

    I've been clean for 6 days until today.. I feel so bad.. I promised myself to stop it and I just.. I guess I'm not strong enough yet..

    • @sarahmay7661
      @sarahmay7661 3 роки тому +1

      youve got this an hour turns into a day a day turns into 3 a week turns into a month and a month turns into a year. kinda made that time up but it really does kinda go like that...

  • @marciaglass2846
    @marciaglass2846 4 роки тому +14

    I don't hear a lot of church involvement of self-harm with kids.. I was in my 30s when I had my breakdown .. it started way before but my parents found out when they watched me pound myself in my head several times.. it just went down from there.. a few months later, I moved back home and ended up going into a psych ward several times over the next two years. I think i'm doing better now. :)

  • @rosetea9244
    @rosetea9244 3 роки тому +7

    When my mom found out all she did was yell at me and it made me feel worse my dad didn't yell at me he was way nicer about it then my mom.

  • @s4g3coz36
    @s4g3coz36 3 роки тому +3

    i dont know how to tell my parents bc im realllllyyyyy young and they get freaked out easily but summers coming soon and they gonna be suspicious if i wear sweaters and pants all summer

  • @artlebleu7655
    @artlebleu7655 3 роки тому +10

    My mom saw my cuts when I was getting an electrocardiogram, she didn't say a thing the whole ride home. My sister already knew since she was also self-harming and I'm not sure but I think my mom knew she self-harmed because she was in therapy.
    We didn't talk about why or how, we never talked about it, she just got extremely mad if she saw my cuts red because she thought I still was self-harming (which I was but no longer in visible areas).
    That was in 2013/2014.
    In 2017 my dad got to know I relapsed because my asshole doctor said something like "oh, you harmed yourself, how you did it?, never seen a thing like that" in front of him. He told me he understood me. (I was in therapy for anxiety and depression at this point)
    As for now, I have relapsed many times, the last time a few days ago, I'm writing this trying to ignore the urges to cut...

  • @thatonemessyartist1760
    @thatonemessyartist1760 3 роки тому +10

    I had a vivid dream that my mom found the cuts on my leg. In the dream she left a note for me when I woke up saying “I know you sh, I saw the scars. I panicked and the dream woke me up. When I actually woke up my leg was hanging out from the blanket and my pant leg was rolled up. I don’t know if she really saw the cuts, but I’m still really shaken up from that. I’ve been extra on edge because she’s been talking about buying a pool, and I can’t wear a bathing suit anymore...
    I haven’t told anyone that I sh yet. I can’t handle the idea of people who care about me knowing. It makes it feel more real. I feel like a part of me does want people to know because I keep sh in more obvious places over time, but then I start trying to cover up even more. I know my mom is suspicious, and I think she noticed the scratches on my arm from a doctor’s appointment. I’m just so terrified of talking to her about it, and I will never tell her if I can avoid it.

    • @annymus4502
      @annymus4502 2 роки тому

      This

    • @alxna_the_pretty
      @alxna_the_pretty 8 місяців тому

      I’m so sorry you feel this way,I hope you get all the help you need.this also happened to me,I’d get dreams of people finding out and it’s absolutely scares the shit out of me…

  • @midnightstorm5395
    @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому +4

    I am 11,I am a day clean so far but I’m so scared to because in a week I have to go to a doctors appointment and I’m going to have to show my wrist and thighs.my mom doesn’t know she is very abusive! Also I hope you are doing ok

  • @ababaabbab
    @ababaabbab 2 роки тому +3

    The way my parents found out was because (with the help from my sibling) I got the courage to tell them, but instead of talking to them I just texted my dad then hid in my room

  • @Sandgoose-ob2jl
    @Sandgoose-ob2jl 3 роки тому +3

    I think you're so well spoken and hit the nail on the head with so much. I had a similar experience with my mum finding out when I turned off a bathroom light whilst she was walking past. She saw my arm and turned the light back on and said "let me see" or something like that; I never felt so unprepared and exposed. She wasn't angry or anything, I could tell she was upset or disappointed but she just had that look that was like "don't worry sweetheart" 💚 I lost her a couple of months ago and what I'd fucking give to see her again

  • @madisonajroblox1584
    @madisonajroblox1584 3 роки тому +12

    My parents found out because I cut my thumb, my mom saw it and made me roll up my sleeves. It was really embarrassing because we were in a public place. She then started screaming at me. She consistently yelled and blamed me for it over the next few months which made it worse. It was annoying too because she worked in the medical field so I figured she would react calmer since she should know how to respond because she worked in the medical field.

  • @slg8220
    @slg8220 2 роки тому +6

    When you described how you hid it to your parents, how much you didn’t want them to find out... it made me think about my own situation. I’ve been hiding it for 2 years and a half, and I still hide it. I had a lot of moments when I was completely clean, nearly a year I think, but since this summer my mental health is going worse and worse... I’m seeing a therapist, my parents think it’s for the stress (which isn’t completely false actually) but it’s also mainly for the selfharm. Actually I want them to know that, but at the same time I don’t. It would make me feel better I guess, but I don’t have the strength and the courage to have this discussion with them...
    Sorry if I overshared but I think I really needed to talk about that to someone who would understand

  • @maddiebergeron918
    @maddiebergeron918 3 роки тому +3

    I was never a regular self harmer (was only something I did a few times in high school) but I still have nightmares from when my parents found out too.

  • @maxkonig3466
    @maxkonig3466 3 роки тому +5

    i cant find enough strength to get professional help cuz my parents and friends dont know im selfharming.. they would be in shock.. and in our society these days i would get treated even worse by everyone.. i get bullied a lot cuz of my weight.. and i really dont know how long i can continue anymore.. im just scared people leave me when they find out who i really am..

  • @emme9606
    @emme9606 3 роки тому +7

    So glad her parents reacted with love. I know many people have had awful experiences and if thats the case: Never let manipulation or shame from someone who's supposed to be a loved one affect how you see yourself. You are brave, you are loved, and you deserve recovery, stay strong.

  • @hau_ruck99
    @hau_ruck99 3 роки тому +7

    I'm planning on telling my mom tomorrow. I know she's not going to react negatively but my mom is also struggling and I feel like it would be too much for her and would just make her more depressed

    • @XxSad_boiUwUxX
      @XxSad_boiUwUxX 2 роки тому +1

      Hey I’m nine months late to your comment, but how’s it going? How are you?

    • @hau_ruck99
      @hau_ruck99 2 роки тому +1

      @@XxSad_boiUwUxX hi! I'm actually doing kinda better. Went to the hospital for it and a few relapses but it's going nice. Ty for asking

    • @XxSad_boiUwUxX
      @XxSad_boiUwUxX 2 роки тому

      @@hau_ruck99 in glad to hear your doing well! :)

    • @hau_ruck99
      @hau_ruck99 2 роки тому

      @@XxSad_boiUwUxX thank you! I hope you're doing well also ❤️

  • @amandachisholm8920
    @amandachisholm8920 4 роки тому +18

    Hi everyone my parents reacted really badly to finding out about my self harm I was called all sorts of horrible names and just felt all around rubbish, my sisters all reacted in different ways I have 3 of them by the way but yeah anyways my mum kicked off and my took the handle off of my bedroom door then also took the locks off the downstairs toilet and bathroom it was really hard as I wasn’t just cutting but I also had bulimia so it made the feelings even more intense. I told my mum I would never do it again but secretly my youngest sister knew that everything I had just said was a complete lie as she found all my tools like a week or so later. I’ve been 5 years clean but I do still get the urge every so often it was when I had my daughter x

    • @charlinebeaulieu7377
      @charlinebeaulieu7377 3 роки тому +2

      I am proud of you your parent were not really good with helping but so is my mom she want always to help me but to much she is always in my space, I can’t go to the bathroom without her worrying

    • @amandachisholm8920
      @amandachisholm8920 3 роки тому

      @@charlinebeaulieu7377 it’s the worst but I think it’s her way of coping with it all sweetie she will back down eventually and give you space but while you’re in early stages of recovery it’s nice to have someone care that little too much x

  • @lucy9500
    @lucy9500 3 роки тому +4

    I hadn’t self harmed for 4 years . Until recently . I’ve self harmed 3 times now , it’s been almost a month since it started back up . There was more this time than the last 2 . I’m afraid there’ll be more next time .

  • @midnightstorm5395
    @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому +7

    My family is really abusive toward me so I started cutting. I’m 11 I have been clean for a day or two :D!

    • @user-fo1kz3zc8x
      @user-fo1kz3zc8x 3 роки тому

      hey hey hey please stay safe. i’m on my path to recovery i think but i started when i was your age, 11, and it got so much worse. please please write out your feelings about your family, everything you dont like about them. it’s a sort of therapy that you can keep to yourself to validate your own pain when you doubt yourself. i’m glad you were clean when you wrote this, i hope you are now, please keep the cvtting under control and remember that aftercare is important. try not to get infections. obviously, stopping and recovering all together, would be preferred, but I know it’s hard to do that so please just stay safe until you’re ready to make progress.

    • @midnightstorm5395
      @midnightstorm5395 3 роки тому

      @that socialist bitch how do i clean cuts if i have no antibiotics? Also i am keeping my cutting under control :3 also thank you for the concern

  • @chef1917
    @chef1917 3 роки тому +2

    I am 23 days free from self harm today, I'm proud of everyone in this comment section

  • @iya4016
    @iya4016 3 роки тому +3

    i was clean for 3 months, but relapsed yesterday...

  • @nyxmoon2054
    @nyxmoon2054 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much for this video. My parents literally didn't care when they found out. Almost 5 years clean now, but the urge never goes away. I found that wearing clothes I really love helps a lot. 🖤 Take care everyone.

  • @rywe4017
    @rywe4017 3 роки тому +2

    My dad found out when a CPS worker came over to talk to me and noticed my wrist.

  • @m00nlight_angel
    @m00nlight_angel Рік тому +2

    Ahhhh I’m kinda late for commenting but my mom found out through a friend. What happened was we were at school and her phone had a notification and her mom went through old old old messages from a year before. On those messages we talked about doing it and I tried getting help(she calmed me down but it was nice to talk to someone) and her mom sent all the old messages to my mom. We fought about everything for about a week. The whole thing made her completely lose trust in me and I was only 12. I’ve never gained that trust back and she was mad mostly because I went to a friend to help me rather than her, but she never would (and still hasn’t) understood it and I knew that which was why I never went to her.

  • @uranuslightwood2039
    @uranuslightwood2039 3 роки тому +1

    I'm so happy that you're clean now and that you had the courage to share such a personal and sensitive story, it's really inspiring. Also I love your style sm you're so beautiful🖤

  • @Kwhyesss
    @Kwhyesss Рік тому +3

    My parents don’t know. I’ve been doing it for around the start of this school year and for 3 months last year.
    Only one girl irl knows about it currently. Or at-least no one’s has talked to me abt it or tried to get me to stop besides her. Honestly me and her were not close friends at all but uh for context I’m in a drama club and she’s in a older grade and is moving to high school after this school year is done. But one day in drama during a lunch meeting I had my arm all covered and she asked what happened and I just said “oh yeah I hurt myself by mistake ha” and she saw through that bs so fast, still dunno how she realized but oh well. But in the end she got it out of me and she’s the only person who knows. During drama meetings she checks up on me sometimes but on Wednesday she checked on me in the bathroom right before our play except she did it right in front of this dude. It was completely fucking horrifying and I think the kid was horrified. Honestly I don’t care abt the fact she wrist checked me but it’s the fact she did it infront of this kid who never even knew. AUGHHH I’m not even friends w the dude she did it infront of but still, AUGAHH I just it sucked

  • @NakariMoon
    @NakariMoon 4 роки тому +6

    My mom found out not even cause she saw my cut or band aids from a purposeful cut she found out cause of a band aid from when i cut myself shaving we cried in my room then i didnt cut for about a month, then started up again. so yeah she didnt even tell my dad right away it was odd but whatever now i never leave band aids in the shower soo.

  • @yourlocalwaifu8601
    @yourlocalwaifu8601 Рік тому +1

    That is my worst worst worst fear I hope it never happens

  • @marenbecker9245
    @marenbecker9245 4 роки тому +7

    First of all thanks for again such an awesome Video ❤️ i apreciate the serenity you Talk about it. When my Patents found Out it was more of i guess an accident when i commited myself into my local psych ward (which btw. was so damn Bad and you Just felt humiliated by all the nurses and doctors which i then told my Patents after they Had a "Release" Talk with ne and the head nurse and Station doc. This Woman wanted To keep me under any circumstances there. My Patents where empathic enough To get that this wasnt going To Help me)
    My Patents Like yours Specialy my mum also sensed that something was Off before but we never Had the closest relationship due To domestic violenc and my sister getting all Attention and love so i would hide it or do it on the inner thighs or belly but therefore Harder because the bodyparts wherent so reliving. For a while they asked everyday If i was okay , but they didnt want To realise how suicidal an Bad i was bc. What could be so wrong in the Life of an 11 year old. Until now 8 years later a Lot of psychologist ,scars ,medications and Bad / good experiences later they slowly get when i want To Talk or when i Just want to be alone. Im still not healed or recovered and its still a huge addiction even if i See my own scars fade or just on a daily Base. But i now know that selfharm is Just a Symptom and Not whats causing it so even If i Cut again i dont See it Like a shame ,but more hey i was Clean for ... A month or smt.
    To all Out there maby now recovering dont loose Hope or faith , If U arent Happy with your psychologist Change it , maby try medications and try more than one Brand If the first doesnt Work for you. Love yall and thanks for your Videos ❤️

  • @laurawakai2607
    @laurawakai2607 3 роки тому +2

    Told my mom today cause I needed to go to the hospital... I'm feeling so ashamed... But they knew that I did it in the past.. cause my best friend told them 2 years ago (just because I didn't wanna kiss him or whatever)... But today was hard.. But i really needed a hospital.. I'm afraid that they're going to control me more... Or not letting me cut
    This is my fear.. cause ..I don't wanna stop it..
    And yes, sometimes I feel that hiding from them and from everyone gives me some independence... And I also wanted to protect them... Until today..
    It was 5 years hiding so well trying so hard.. and now I'm mad at me because they know..
    I'm ok now cause I take a loooot of pills for depression and anxiety.. I don't even feel things.... But I still wanna cut and I don't know why...

  • @noelleuwu1776
    @noelleuwu1776 3 роки тому +2

    Are you saying I should tell my parents I wanna die- Bc I think that’s the worst idea ever. They would literally kick me out

  • @marianapalacios2950
    @marianapalacios2950 3 роки тому +2

    Clean for about 4 minutes

  • @glueless1098
    @glueless1098 3 роки тому

    You help me so much thank you 😊 💓

  • @speexbird4965
    @speexbird4965 2 роки тому

    Stay strong guys stay happy

  • @Itadori_yuuji264
    @Itadori_yuuji264 2 роки тому +1

    I’m scared of my mum & dad finding out bc I don’t wanna know what they would do if they knew like I’m only 11 and I hate my life I wish it could just end and my mum and dad once saw my scares

    • @anarmy9202
      @anarmy9202 2 роки тому +1

      Same here but the difference is that I'm 13

  • @yvydraw7891
    @yvydraw7891 3 роки тому +3

    Clean for about 5 minutes

  • @kt.g.3055
    @kt.g.3055 4 роки тому +3

    Merci pour ce partage... pour moi ça a été... très difficile le jour ou ils l'ont découvert... et encore aujourd'hui . Je pense qu'ils sont dans le déni ^_^ genre "on ferme les yeux. Ce bandage? Oh ce n'est rien!! Tout va bien^_^"

  • @50kmidas41
    @50kmidas41 2 роки тому

    As an active self harmer myself this is my worst fear

  • @oliverwilliams3434
    @oliverwilliams3434 2 роки тому +1

    This happened in august 2021 I was outside with my grandma and mom me and my grandma were in the pool I had In my backyard I got out to go to the bathroom and my mom looked at my wrists she knew I had bandaids on my wrists but I just said that I got hurt at school my mom got suspicious and asked to see the scrapes on my wrist since I wouldn’t usually wear bandaids over scrapes I said yes since I didn’t know what else to say and said I would go inside to take them off I panicked and texted my friends at the time they said to make up a lie but my scars look to much like self harm scars I went outside and when my mom saw the bandaids were still in I started to have a breakdown and ran to the bathroom then locked the door she knew it was self harm at this point and banged on the door she was screaming and I eventually let her in after a few minutes she then forced me to take off the bandaids on my wrist I showed her and since my grandma was still there I tried to put them back on them went outside and my mom doesn’t talk about it anymore

  • @gray6209
    @gray6209 3 роки тому

    the worst day of my life was when my parents found out. but that was when it was only minor- its only been getting worse since then and i dont know how to stop

  • @liannapfister8255
    @liannapfister8255 2 роки тому

    Your accent sounds incredibly similar to our foreign exchange student’s who’s from THAT’S RIGHT YOU GUESSED IT
    🇨🇭

  • @junexxmoon1985
    @junexxmoon1985 3 роки тому +1

    Here's my story of how my parents found out:
    The first one to know I'm self harming was my therapist. We talked about it in our second session. After a few sessions she had some kind of talk with my mom, where she asked her questions. So my therapist asked my mom (without telling her I'm self harming) if she ever noticed or knew of me self harming. My mom answered: "I am not sure". My therapist told me about it and my heart literally dropped. Since my therapist told me that my mom was "not sure", I was pretty sure my mom would one day come to me and adress the situation. Well, and that's what happened. One week after my therapist told me that, my mom came to my room and told me that she knew. She was in tears, barely able to control her crying. It broke my heart seeing her like that. I don't exactly know, how she found out, but maybe I was acting a little suspicious. I started wearing long sleeves even when it got a little to warm for that outside, I locked the bathroom door when I went to shower and once I had to get my blood taken and I covered the cuts with a band aid. Also my mom knew I was depressive and had a special eye on me. She often asked me if I was okay and I always said "I'm fine" , even if I wasn't. But I'm a really bad liar, because I'm usually a really honest person so maybe she noticed how I got nervous or answered to quick when she asked.
    My mom eventually told my dad. I promised to try and stop self harming, but I honestly didn't. I am currently in a really bad mental state but I'm doing everything to hide how I'm feeling because I don't want to hurt them and make them suffer with me. I used self harming as a coping skill a lot lately and I'm not proud of it. My therapy is "on pause" right now and it can take a few weeks until I get back in. My parents never made me show them my wounds/scars and they have no idea, how many cuts I have and where they are. I am honestly so afraid of the day they see them for the first time and I'm even more afraid of the day my little sisters will see them for the first time. I don't want to confront them with this topic at such a young age. I want them to be carefree and not worry about me.

  • @MinecraftNintendo-se8wi
    @MinecraftNintendo-se8wi 3 місяці тому

    When I was like 9 or 10 or something I told my parents I wanted to for but it wasn't like serious. I was annoyed at them for some stupid reason and it was more like a metaphorical way or whatever I didn't actually mean it I just wanted my words to have some power in them. They screamed at me and told me to never say it again. When I was 12 or 13, my mom wanted to bring me to this random class extracurricular thing and I really didn't want to do and I told her it's because I'm really scared of meeting new people and she told me it's dumb and that she'll send me to a mental hospital. I feel like all of these small things really impacted my feelings towards telling people about it. Only one person knows, because she told me she does it and I tolf her I do as well. I'm scared to tell my parents because I don't want them to think it's their fault and God forbid they do anything to themselves as a result. I don't want to be known as the kid whose parents killed themselves or anything. I don't want them to treat me differently, just with more compassion. I recently relapsed after almost a year, and it was because of a dream I had of me finding someone sh ing in a bathroom. I want to tell my friends, but I'm terrified out of my mind. I don't think they would leave, but I don't want them to think it's stupid or anything. I try to bring the topic up just to see their views on it, but I can never get a clear response. I don't know. I'm confused.

  • @pastelbxbbles9819
    @pastelbxbbles9819 3 роки тому +6

    I'm 10 started having signs of depression at 6,also I would scream out that i wanted to die ,nobody would listen 2 years ago I started cutting ,I'm currently gone the longest ive ever gone without cutting,2 days and like 3 hours my mom did see once we were in a store, I didn't cut that deep that day so it looked like marker I said it was marker...she didn't believe me but she brought it up again when we got home ,I said I wasn't eating and she was like "SO NOW YOU'RE CUTTING AND STARVING YOURSELF?!" and a couple days ago I was setting up with my mom and therapist and I lied all the questions were about like depression, self harming , suicidal thoughts, my room was in the room if I wasn't lying I would have said yes to everything...

    • @xcherryxxchanx3425
      @xcherryxxchanx3425 3 роки тому

      I understand I'm thirteen and cut my mom was pretty good about it but it's hard I think you should try your best to quit and reach out for help

    • @pastelbxbbles9819
      @pastelbxbbles9819 3 роки тому +1

      @@xcherryxxchanx3425 I've actually been free for a month now! It was hard at first but I kept trying, Even tho I never told my mom,I got help from my friends and my mom sent me to therapy because i was "angry to much" but she didnt really d anything about anger,she was more about emotions in general.

    • @nandanaragesh5263
      @nandanaragesh5263 3 роки тому

      @@pastelbxbbles9819 I'm so proud of you! Good job!

    • @pastelbxbbles9819
      @pastelbxbbles9819 3 роки тому

      @@nandanaragesh5263 Ty!

    • @nandanaragesh5263
      @nandanaragesh5263 3 роки тому

      @@pastelbxbbles9819 oh wow you replied fast lol

  • @vulture24
    @vulture24 3 роки тому +2

    My parents found out today :/

  • @sarahmay7661
    @sarahmay7661 3 роки тому

    i was in placement and staff said they wouldnt say any thing but they did and i didnt know about it. I ended up telling my grandma on a visit. thats how she found out my grandma is my parent.

  • @livycochrane2276
    @livycochrane2276 3 роки тому +2

    i really want to tell my mum. ive been doing it for 7 months i think. today i done a pretty deep one. i was scared incase it wouldnt stop bleeding. but its fine. i want to tell her. does anybody have tips to tell her. i cant carry on like this any longer... she almost found out. i was doing the dishes and she rolled my sleeve up half way. i think she saw them. and i just ran away. i dont know what to do at this point.

  • @8bitfloppa
    @8bitfloppa 8 місяців тому

    Of course I’m not sure but I theory I have is that she probably wore shorts to try and reassure her parents she didn’t, because then if most of her legs were showing they wouldn’t need to worry. But, it failed. Again, just a theory.

  • @riley1682
    @riley1682 2 роки тому +1

    I'm 14 I'll be 15 in may and I hate my birthday because the day after was when I self harmed for the first time on my 13 th birthday and ever since I can't help but see my birthday as good job you lived another year big flipping deal and one time after I tried to comment suicide the next morning I went to summer camp and there was a line on my neck and one of the counselors notice who was my friend and it wonder why he noticed but my mom didn't which hurt alot😔

  • @user-qh9ev1nd5v
    @user-qh9ev1nd5v 2 роки тому

    My mum found mine and she went crazy on me and screamed at me now I can’t go to school because school will see it and section me under mental health 👍

  • @ynoxis6347
    @ynoxis6347 Рік тому

    After that, il you have to choice did you choose to tell them or did you choose to hide it knowing they could be chock like that. Sorry for my english I m just a Dumb french men.

  • @jayk3412
    @jayk3412 2 роки тому

    I kinda see myself in this story, ngl..pretty similar experiences and stuff, tho my parents think im clean, and i also think that they thought it was like a one time thing...but well i aint clean and i am afraid of my parents reaction...also i could never tell them, what triggers me, because they trigger me and telling your own parents, that they are th reason your doing it, might not be the best i dea at least not for me tho

  • @Nozkez77
    @Nozkez77 7 місяців тому

    it sounds like how i started self harm and how my parents find it out, yeah and i know the video is old

  • @brooklyngrace1008
    @brooklyngrace1008 2 роки тому +3

    Youth group?you..you’re Christian? Well, jeez, now I don’t feel as bad or as much of a failure…

  • @e.t.75
    @e.t.75 3 роки тому

    Mine found out when i was waxing my hands

  • @Bceva
    @Bceva 2 роки тому

    You know it's been reported when you get 7 warnings from UA-cam before you are allowed to watch this video.

  • @limalimalima_
    @limalimalima_ 3 роки тому +1

    off topic- you look like chloe from life is strange

  • @mid-ohioguardian6927
    @mid-ohioguardian6927 Рік тому

    SO WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @urmomsbf9306
    @urmomsbf9306 3 роки тому +5

    so my parents have been absent basically my whole life and i lived with many different people since then but the longest i lived with someone was with my grandma the way she found was by my brother, he walked in on me using the bathroom and saw my thighs and started screaming about them and then told my grandma really loudly in front of her friends and she came to my room and told me to show her and i did because i don’t like when people yell at me and she asked why and i couldn’t tell her why and then she asked if it was because her ex boyfriend was gone and it was not the reason actually and she decided to tell the neighbors, her friends, my mom (who is a very bad person), and my aunt. my aunt said that it was probably because my brother was getting more attention than me and i honestly don’t care how much attention i get. and then my mom would use the fact that i self harmed against me.