I was once feeling very sick at school and at the point of passing out and I had to stay at school and when the popular pretty girl got a paper cut she got to go home
@@hibye9926 It's disgusting how an actual adult did that to a child but sadly I'm not surprised, cause my math teacher did the same thing to one of my friends and it wasn't even his first or last time doing it
The other side of pretty privilege is how "UgLy" people are treated. Like actual dehumanization of people found unattractive happens and that's so cruel!
thank you for mentioning this !! its so sad poor animals dont deserve this we invaded their homes and took them and killed them off or left them in poor conditions so unfortunate and sad it braeks my heart when I hear such things its so disappointing and heart breaking, humans are the worst creatures to exist on this planet (of course not every human being but most) they have harmed this earth, other creatures/animals/species and eachother.
I work in customer service and realized that I reaaally tended to give free stuff to pretty people, so ever since I realized that I started giving stuff to people I did not find pretty. The surprised looks I got from them was heartbreaking sometimes...
I look average and don't have pretty privilege, but one time a random little girl said I looked like a princess. It's one thing to get complimented by an adult, but by a kid? Oh man it's the purest and sweetest thing ever. Kids are brutally honest and I'm just glad I didn't get called 'ugly' lol.
omg ssame. once there was a middle school on a field trip at my college. i was wearing a flowery dress and a flower crown. the students couldnt stop ogling me. they were amazed and said 'wow shes so beautiful' all breathless and ill never forget that
I literally only began to feel positive about my looks when I worked my first job, the boss’s little girl told me I’m pretty and I’ve never forgotten it 😭😭
@@paimonspie8913 exactly. i'm white but i inherited my big nose from my black grandma and since i'm little ppl say it is ugly as hell. now i'm 15 and way more confident and accepting it but it still really hard to not think of how it makes me unattractive
@@joycefernandes2613 Actually a big nose doesn't make you unattractive. We are just forced to see a specific type of nose as the beauty standard. You're still beautiful either ways
I will never forget that time, my friend (she’s extremely pretty) and I went to Starbucks and we were ordering drinks, she went first she smiled and said hi how are you, the guy taking the order started chatting to her and was super friendly.. then came I, I smiled and said hi too, all I got was hi and he looked down, his facial expressions and overall friendliness changed drastically.. it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced tbh and I realized that I am truly ugly and yeah pretty privilege exists 😅
you are not ugly, u just need to reject the way he saw you. u are beautiful and worth it ;) *Update : OMG I never expected it in a millions years that so many people would like my comments. love you all :)*
Yes. Personality can make someone seem more or less attractive, but when interacting with strangers they don’t know the personality & just go by looks.
@@Shirumoon abled in general. I'm autistic and people usually forget something is hard for someone because they can't literally see it. That's also seen as "ugly behavior" (ie steaming) or "picky" (ie loud music and rough fabric are a no no).
true because even when we are complimented we strongly deny them and even think or doubt if we truly deserve such compliments. We may think they might be lying or just saying it to be nice. The true confidence comes from us because if other people diss our looks and we aren’t affected and if we gladly accept and say thanks to compliments on our looks, it means we are truly confident about ourselves.
To a certain extent it never ends. My great grandma was a cute little old lady and could be as rude as she pleased at the senior home and she always got preferential treatment. The nurses would just giggle and say “oh Viola! You are such a firecracker!” Meanwhile, they straight up ignored this much less cute old lady and made fun of her droopy ears. They’d just wheel her into a corner and fuss over my great grandma and as a little kid I noticed this and started talking to the other old lady because it made me so sad. Literally, you can be ON DEATH’S DOOR and pretty privilege still influences how people treat you.
It makes me so scared. I am born ugly and my weight has increased a lot. I wish we all looked similar. I hate pretty privilege. My friend is beautiful and whenever we hung out, since our school days, people called me her sidekick. Even my own family says an angel( her) and goblin(me) walking together. We are both girls but the same clothes look exceptional beautiful on her. People will tell me to get myself fixed ,on my face litrally
it feels wrong to include children but even they are effected by this. it breaks my heart to see people excluding "not cute" children from their kindness and attention that even "cute children" pick up on this behavior and think it's okay to harrass the unwanted kids. i'm average looking, but as a girl it messed me up to the point i thought i was a monster. i couldn't do girly things because they are only for pretty girls.
Yeah I’m not a baby anymore. But gosh I see it still now people criticizing babies that were just born 💀 “that’s an ugly baby- oof is that a boy or a girl.”
@@lunarialoonatic To be honest, infants look like rats in their first three months and they all look alike.. but making fun of TODDLERS???? imma throw hands
It’s not just the level of attractiveness, but the actual features one possesses. Having upturned eyes can make one look haughty and uptight, or a small, slim figure shy and naïve. I read a lot of politicians sculpt their eyebrows to show things, like a powerful look with those sharp, angular ones, or caring with the thick block-shaped ones. We really ought to focus more on the other ways we perceive people, but that’s just the way we were wired.
This is like one of the few ineresting comments I've seen under this video. Why do good-looking people want to be victims so bad lol most people are just falling for the Just World fallacy ("There has to be equal advantages/disadvantages for being pretty and being ugly") and optimism bias ("Look at the bright side, it can't be that bad"). Especially the Just World fallacy is a huge one and I'm sick of it, it's one of the worst fallacies people cling to. Like she suggested in the video of "shifting our focus away from external appearances" it's simply not possible on a big scale, it's not how people work no matter how desperately they want it to work. As someone who went from being bullied for their looks to the point of wanting to kill myself, developing social anxiety and depression which ruined a decade of my life, to someone who is at least enough to be considered cute, I wouldn't go back to being ugly if you pointed a gun to my head. I'd just ask you to pull the trigger because that was the absolute worst I've ever been treated and felt about myself in my life. It's very much a common experience among people who went from ugly to attractive that they're baffled by how much better the world treats them, though often the resentment still remains. If you think being attractive is bad just ask how many of these people would go back to being uglier. If someone has experienced something genuinely awful for being pretty then I'm sorry and I'm sure some such cases exist, most probably having to with men. However, if you look at your average person they would rather be pretty and overall it has more advantages. If anyone has doubts, there's at this point a ton of scientific studies that show that being attractive wields numerous advantages in all fields of life, including how parents treat their kids (yes, even the most "unconditional" love is influenced positively by being better-looking). Attractive people are also seen as more competent, treated better by teachers, more likely to get a job, people are more willing to help them etc. People care more if an attractive person dies than if an ugly one dies. Just being attractive gives you an elevated standing in society, and a certain standing and value an ugly person can never have. After all, if pretty privilege wasn't a thing why do people not get plastic surgery to look uglier if being pretty is that bad? Because it usually isn't. They only talk about how awful being pretty it is under videos like this but would never permanently change their appearance to actually be worse-looking. You wouldn't even have to pay money, there's people who'd knock out some teeth or break a nose to make it crooked for free. I'm kidding of course, but uglier people are willing to go through a lot of pain, money and trouble to become better-looking. Never seen a good-looking person go through the same to become less attractive. Even if there was few such cases it is by far not the norm. Try to offer the people whining about how hard being pretty is a way to permanently become uglier and see how many take it, I'm sure most wouldn't.
THIS, we are literally taught by animations and selective casting that villains will have sharp angles and main characters will have puppy eyes and soft youthful faces even if we just see someone with glasses we think theyre smarter
This is the most retarded line I've ever read. Life is much more than other homo sapiens seeing you as attractive. Do not say that I am beautiful for myself. No one thinks they're ugly until society says so.
I think saying “being normal” is kinda problematic as in like everything else is abnormal and “wrong” in a way so like the person above me said, average is a better word
The saddest part is when men don't treat you like a person. They ignore you or are rude to you because you are not as pretty as your friend... that shit hurts
The worst part is that you can't even trust women because they(not all) do the same things, this is from personal experience. the amount of girls calling other girls and me "slut" "whore" is just saddening. You can't trust people smh :\ we should look out for each other fr
A lot of women do the same to us. So many horrible people in this world. I really hope some day we all treat each other like humans, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, looks, etc.
Kinda the same with women too. If ur a quiet ugly guy ur a creep or weird but if attractive tall muscles and everything u will be seen as a hot mysterious/loner. Ive seen it a lot.
@banhotdogs tbh girls are taught by society that male validation is important. It's actually unconscious so most girls don't even know that they like it.
I love kpop and it is horrible seeing very pretty idols being glorified and marveled at solely over their appearance. Sometimes they genuinely aren't great at singing/ dancing rap but people react like they are phenomenal??? Its like, are we watching the same person? Then you see less pretty performers who are phenomenal even but don't get the same attention. Its saddening tbh.
imo i think the worst part about being glorified for your looks as an idol is that its an ever-changing metric that everyone, literally everyone loses to time. when people are put on a pedestal for their face, their body, when those things inevitably change they lose the only thing they ever really had in their career.
Literally my faves rn 😟 the fandom I’m in literally hype them to the most but they ain’t all that frr. I’m in multi-fandoms so it’s pretty hard to guess which group I’m talking about lol. But they have MAJOR pretty privilege.
The real question is how is having a great singing voice much different than being extremely attractive, in terms of entertainment. Maybe you dislike it, but is it really “horrible”. Both are pretty superficial, we like them because they take us on emotional trips. A good voice can be enchanting. Extremely attractive people can be enchanting. These are “idols” not singing purists. How is a more attractive idol with worse singing getting popular more “fair” than a better singer with worse looks. These lines we draw to ascribe meaning are in most part arbitrary. There is no difference. In a sense, they are both natural talents that can be improved. It’s just that we as a society see Beauty as shallow and angelic voices as worthy of praise, but can you really make a substantial argument for why one is inherently more worthy than the other?
Back in high school, our teacher once told our class: "when you're attractive, you've basically won 50% of life's battles". And I remember feeling down about it thinking "how about us who are not that genetically blessed? Are we freakin losers?" Back then I was an insecure child. I always imagined myself living a life with a pretty face. "Would I be more outgoing and confident?" "Would I be happier?" "Would people like me more?" But yeah, that's life. Some are born butterflies, and I'm a moth. I'm gray. And I can't help being gray. I'm at a better place now. I tried really hard to embrace my flaws to the point that they don't look like flaws anymore. They're just part of me. Of course, I still feel a tinge of envy whenever I see attractive people. But I try not to dwell on it that much.
"Some are born butterflies, and I'm a moth" that for some reason really resonated with me haha. I struggle daily with feeling unattractive and ugly, it's a constant battle for me. Wearing a mask has helped my confidence so, so much
@@inkubator320 Example being too nice or friendly. If a pretty person does it it's friendly, if a conventionally average looking person does it, it may seem creepy.
Yeah, there's a celeb in my country who's found out consuming illegal substances, but because he's handsome, people swoon and prayed for his wellness, that it's unjustified, yadda yadda. And then there's another celeb that society deemed ugly. He didn't even do anything wrong, just opinionated. The comment in his posts blew with things like "meh this person must be doing drugs" "he's not handsome so why is he running is mouth" "ugly people needs to shut up" etc. The difference is night and day.
@@andinarizkia Yep that's a good example. It's like people automatically associate being conventionally attractive with being innocent, pure, a hero and so on. It's pathetic.
On the other side of pretty privilege, being "ugly" is also a danger because your dehumanized. In my experience I have been treated as a freak show and was often referred as an alien or an otherworldly being in a derogatory way, even going as far as to refer to me as an animal. I was never a human being for them.
girl "dehumanized" is such an inappropriate word to use in this context. it's meant for much worse things. you're not getting dehumanized because people call you an alien or an animal, they're insulting you, that's it. that's mean and i'm so sorry they did that to you but dehumanizing is not meant to be used in this context. you are a human being for them. they don't care about your feelings because they're assholes and not attracted to you, but they aren't treating you like an animal and are aware of the fact that you aren't an animal. they are "just" insulting you (not meaning to water down your hurtful experiences, just save this word for things that are actually dehumanising)
Same here. I've literally been called a witch for my hair and the way I look. People literally dehumanize me. Im still recovering from the trauma they left me with
Not to mention beauty fades. When beautiful actors become older, they have to compensate more. They need to fascinate the audience with something other than their looks. That's why personality and talent is so important. If your face is all you have, you'll end up miserable
Society doesn’t cared about women personalities. If it was true women wouldn’t strive to look attractive and look younger just to be valued and get decent human respect. When a women it attractive she gets that
I didn't think I'd say this but Trisha is right. There are so many good looking people on tiktok and insta that have millions of followers just for existing. They literally just look into the camera not even doing anything
duh..however this doesn't last forever..pretty privilege lasts between 16 and 25 years old..on average..but these girls can build an empire in this time period.
And who do you think is giving them the views? It's not like only the pretty people are cheering and giving views to the popular pretty ones on socials. From what I have seen the people who are putting them on pedestals are the ones who are insecure; who consider themselves to not be pretty so they are in turn contributing to it! I don't get why people are quick to blame pretty people for just being born that way (it's not their fault they fit into society's standard of beauty) The real issue is at a societal level yet no one seems to care about it or address it cos it's easier to hate on pretty people on tiktok. Humans like to flaunt and that's human nature. The less attractive rich people flaunt their wealth instead of their face. the talented ones flaunt their talent.. cos there is an audience giving them that validation. So obviously the ones who feel they are attractive would put their faces on social and there is nothing wrong with that..if everyone else can why can't they do it?? The reality is that the lass pretty ones fall for it too and actually directly contribute to it making them contradict their own beliefs.
I think I disagree with this take of "the most pretty people are the most insecure". I think ugly people are just as insecure and they don't get any validation, at least being some level of attractive gives you the feeling you're wanted or lets you have relationships where you feel like you are physically worthy. Would you rather be ugly and insecure or hot and insecure?
Fr. I think another thing though is the fact that a lot of conventionally attractive people know they fit the beauty standard, so if anything even slightly challenges that, they feel extremely insecure. Their egos are high, but *very* _fragile_ . I fit the beauty standard but I find myself looking in mirrors excessively to see if anything about me doesn’t look good, _since_ I know I’m conventionally attractive, and I have to maintain that at all costs or people will judge me for any tiny imperfection, because they already have expectations. I feel insecure when anyone other than me gets complimented or does better at something. It really just depends on the person. We can’t say absolutely all pretty people are the most insecure and put them into one solid category, etc.
idk, as an average (i think?) looking person I focus very little on my looks. I know what I look like and that’s what I look like. But I’m also autistic so that also affects the way i’m treated, what insecurities I have, and how I view myself. i certainly don’t have pretty privilege lol i’ve never even been asked out! i think ugly people generally know they’re ugly and i feel like that leads to less specific insecurities maybe? with an aspect of acceptance while continuing on with their life. but an attractive person would be like “yes i’m attractive but i would be more so if ______”, so more specific insecurities. Ahhhhhh! IDK!
There's no "ugly" people just people with bad self confidence and no matter how many say that they're attractive or pretty and want not they won't change the way they view themselves and continue being "ugly"
I think about it like every other privilege, until it's reflected in society writ large, I won't invalidate your feelings ...but if you use your Beauty Capital to harass or intimidate someone who is less privileged than you it makes me think you rather keep things the way they are...
I just hit rock bottom today and pretty much shed a tear over not having a tiktok girl's body. Me, someone who thought that she loves herself, someone who always hypes others up. I didn't think I'd do that. I feel gross and ashamed. I'm really happy that you posted this!
Girl same,all my life I never thought I'd ever be insecure because I never cared of what others thought of my looks much,but like now days I see anime and then some random tiktok videos in my recommendation in which the girls are so beautiful like seriously,and then anime too, especially watching anime has brought down my self esteem which I NEVER dreamed off,but anyway I'm just doing like a ton of workouts to get thin like my popular naturally beautiful and thin frnds ,hoping I become like them lol✌️,but anyways cheer up I'm sure all of us are beautiful and amazing under the eyes of at least one person in this world
Thank you so much girls, all this support makes me really emotional :") bless your souls, we are all beautiful and looks do not matter as much as the society portrays it online. I am sure. I feel better now. Sending much love and light to all of you
As someone who is not pretty and suffer of anxiety, I agree, it doesn't matter how hard I try to don't care about how I look, I always end up looking myself at the mirror and feeling ugly
@@isaymamamoo9469No it's not. Superficial people and anxious people are not the same. If you're obsessed with looks, you wither havent dealt with enough bad character or are a crappy person yourself so you will always values looks over character.
I used to be pretty and cute as a kid because I had big eyes, a sharp chin and a small face, which are Asian beauty standards. I was always treated nicely by strangers and teachers even when I didn't do something right and despite being a shy, quiet kid, I would be constantly by loads of people and I was picked to be the main character of role plays by the teachers. As soon as I started entering puberty and wasn't so pretty anymore because I got acne, gained weight, and my face shape changed, rarely anyone pays attention to me anymore. It used to bother me a whole lot because I thought it was my fault I wasn't as loved anymore. It made me feel shit losing pretty privilege. It's just crazy thinking that people treated me so much better when they thought I was pretty.
you remind me of twice jihyo. she was super pretty as a kid but then became less pretty as a young adult. now she has gone back to being pretty thanks to diet and fitness.
@@BuffyunaTV i think context also matters too. even when she was criticized for her looks, it was only because she was chubbier compared to the idol trainees who surrounded her 24/7. if it was outside of the kpop industry, jihyo would still be considered gorgeous. your comment made me realize there are layers to this pretty privilege thing.
As a generally ugly person I developed weird tendency to find attractive people untrustworthy. Like, I don't believe in them wanting to hang out with me and I'm suspicious of their actions because I feel like they're not doing this for real and I'm ''not enough'' for them just because I look the way I look. Small bonus if they're popular - I instantly think they must be two-faced.
i personally think im -idk average ig, and tbh same bc i feel like being close w someone unattractive makes them seem more attractive?? hope u get what i mean, english isnt my first language TT
I’ve been called or inferred to not being attractive. A lot of the conventionally attractive ppl humiliated or used me when I was younger. If they start acting nice, I kinda feel it’s a front or they’ve got ulterior motives. Hate to think that way too, but if it happened a lot you’d feel paranoid.
@@elizabethswan5850 @Fuzion Tony Gaming Yeah I see what you mean ! I tend to prefer people who look sweet or special due to their style than people who have trendy clothes and are conventionally attractive - the reason propably being that kids who used to be extremely mean, dismissive and conceited used to look like that
I know it's petty but I will always feel jealous of conventionally attractive women, not that I hate them I just hate that I can't be one of them. Also ugly girls get sexually harassed and sexually assaulted too and when they do, people will either not believe them, or worse, tell them to take it as a compliment.
True, but that's not limited to ugly girls. The same can be said about men for example. In fact, men getting raped is often 'funny'. Hell, some countries don't even have laws against it.
Any mf who would rather be ugly & is currently good looking is delusional or not the best critical thinker since their life would literally turn to sh*t in comparison 9 out of 10 times.
Back when I was still a freshman in college, I can't forget that time I was grouped up with this dude, who, well, was not conventionally attractive. What happened was that he took a lot of responsibilities for the project (despite us insisting on distributing the tasks more) but couldn't deliver. In the end, we failed our finals because of it. As groupmates, we decided to talk with him about better communication between each other in case we get grouped together again. He confessed that he wasn't "in his best mental state" and apologized. He was given the silent treatment. I wanted to say something as comfort, but I was too scared because the atmosphere got pretty tense quick. I regret that now. Later on, my groupmates were posting on Twitter and stuff about how "depression doesn't justify anything", obviously attacking this dude indirectly. Meanwhile, almost same thing happened around two semesters later - with almost the same people, but we were grouped instead with this guy who was really popular because of how fashionable and beautiful he is (kinda androgynous, like those asian pretty boys). We ALMOST failed the class because of how much the project brought our grades down. The difference in reaction was laughable. My groupmates were saying "everything's okay, we still passed" - no "confrontations" or talks about communication and better teamwork or whatnot... just trying to make this guy feel better. I couldn't say anything either that time too, saying words of comfort at that point felt really wrong and hypocritical of me because I couldn't do it the first time. That said. Pretty privilege does exist for me.
@@maddieb.4282 as someone that has been that person forced to do all the group work and bullied while doing it… I don’t really have compassion for the girls that stood by and said nothing. I have compassion for me who was actually bullied.
Being pretty has its perks and downsides. But when you are ugly, the downsides just outweight the perks completely. Sure when you are ugly, people love you for your personalities and skills, not bc of your looks, but the thing is that not many people will even try to learn more about all of your talents and skills bc you are not pleasant to look at.
This is a reason why I try to be equally nice to everyone. It just seems wrong to just be nice to a crush and ignore people I deem unattractive. The world needs more compassion!
me too, i will admit i am a very conventionally attractive person but only as of a year ago. and i know how both ends of the spectrum feel. but i also find many types of looks and personalities attractive. so what i do is if i find something about or on someone (like clothing or jewelry or makeup and etc) that i like or admire i tell them, regardless of who they are and what they look like. ill walk up to random people and tell them bc i like it and i like seeing people smile
I remember how once I was listening to my mom and her friend talking, and they were sharing how weird it was for them to go from these young women, who were having many people jump to their aid, into "invisible", middle-aged women, who no one cares about... It was so sad, like the kindness and helpfulness evaporated from their worlds.
On the positive side they may eventually reach the age where they'll once again receive help for being the "kind looking grandma/older lady". Could sting at first but the attention may return.
I remember my mom subtly telling me I was ugly by saying me this: "study because people on the work field will value your abilities and knowledge rather than beauty". Little did she know that every single person is biased by beauty standards
I don't think that's what your mom meant. Your mom is saying prioritize something of value than something so vain and shallow. Honestly, pretty privilege is not that serious. It's just a trendy topic now. It exists but its impact isn't as big as people thing it is. Being in the workforce, a lot of people have been chosen for their job based on charisma, capabilities and experience. Pretty people are only good as influencers and secretaries. But professional job? No.
Also think about the fact that a lot of men are angry women can study and work because it makes us that much closer to being their equals. Men want women's only path to "success" in life to be finding the best husband. Imagine how obsessed about your looks you would be if the only way you could improve your quality of life were finding a certain MAN with such an income. So, before feminism, what a woman could afford to eat or wear, what house she could live in, if she could ever travel or take vacations, whether she had to work or relax at home, were all DIRECTLY determined by how pretty she was. The uglier a woman was, the poorer her husband would be.
@@LT-bk3qk well, it is that serious, I have acne and it's very visible on my face, there are various studies conducted by actual reliable scientists and psychologists that show that people with acne or with a non standardised body and generally people that are not considered attractive by nowadays beauty standards have less chances of getting a job and especially, front-desk jobs or whatever job implies working directly with the public
@@priyameena8803 do you even know if I am actually working on my skills or not? Jesus why do y'all come on this app and think you know everything about total strangers
@Victoria Rivarola I mean honestly the job I'm studying for it's probably more likely that my skills could be valued more but for example when I was trying to get a job I noticed that when I was looking for jobs that had me directly working with the public, I was kind of scrutinised more. I mean it's no news that for example, in my country, it happens a lot that actual job announcements on job announcements sites literally ask explicitly "we are looking for beautiful girls as waitresses/baristas because we want to give the right idea about our restaurant/bar/whatever".
I feel like the ‘charming serial killer’ situations are a massive example of how dangerous pretty privilege can be. I remember on an episode of Court Cam, there was a case where a teenage boy killed his then gf’s baby. They used a phone call between him and someone else as evidence Bc in it he said “I’m white and I’m cute. All I have to do is cry and they’ll let me go.” Spoiler: he was NOT let go. There is also the time when tik tokers we’re defending a school shooter Bc he was attractive. Pretty privilege can be deadly.
I wouldn’t say I am super pretty but, I had a very big nose and strangers would be straight up mean to me, even when I was very visibly a kid. after I got a nose job I was so shocked to see how kind strangers were in public, complementing my hair or outfits. It’s kinda messed up tho, cause I literally had to get a facial reconstruction surgery to be treated like a human.
Same here 😞 The fact that I had to go under the knife to be treated better breaks me constantly. It feels like my true self, the one without surgery, was not worthy enough to being seen as human and was destined to be unlovable.
No because same! people smile at me more often and call me names like “sweetie” after the nose job. like that’s not fair because i miss my old self and I see it so beautiful i always cry and regret doing the nose job but people treat me nicer, that literally doesn’t make me happy because it’s just so sad 🙁
@@rkay4998 it depends on where you live, I’m American but I went to a Korean dr who works in CA, I was able to get it at a discounted price of 4000 dollars (US) cause I was a student at the time. My advice is ask for the before and after photos of patients at the 12 - 18 month point, and be realistic about your expectations, and try to avoid any doctors trying to sell you a super button nose cause those will cave in after a while and that’s a whole mess
Maybe I'm just a bit mean, but I rarely compliment people on their appearances. That's not to say I find people ugly. You probably won't hear me say "you're pretty" or "you have nice eyes". The closest thing is "I like your makeup" or "your outfit is cool". Maybe it's because I prefer being complimented over things I worked for or for my personality. Compared to eyes, creating an outfit takes more work so...
i agree, i do the same thing. if you compliment a child on their appearance too much as a child, it makes them focus on their appearance as they grow older. we learned this in psych. i bet its the same for anyone really, so we need to compliment people on the things they did and worked on, not on things they cant control. same goes for insults
I like to tell someone when they look beautiful/nice Their hair, makeup, clothes, quirks, it's all on their person. I also realize, a lot of people don't even realize how beautiful some of their features are. Or even how beautiful the way they carry themselves is. Their smile, the way their eyebrows move when they make a facial expression. Different aspects of people can be beautiful. Some people are actually surprised when you say they look beautiful or pretty, and I love letting people know like, yes you are adorable lol
At this point I've just excepted my uglieness. It wasn't just the ridicule that got to me it was the pity. Having my friends lie through their teeth when complimenting me, making excuses for why I don't get asked out. I'm okay with my uglieness I guess. There's more to life. I fantasize about being pretty and have a tendency to envy those who are, but at the end of the day I just really don't care. It is what is. Life goes on
Hey, just you saying that makes you a very beautiful person. Don't doubt that, even if you aren't attractive on the outside doesn't make you unattractive overall.
You. I like you. Im sick and tired of women keep telling each other "Ooh, you are soooo beautuful no matter how you look!" Like its a compliment or something lol. Its better to just accept the truth, that you are not so good looking. Its ok. Its not the end of the world.
yes it's the lying, the "on no!~ you are pretty!" and I think ignoring how I actually look and lying abt it also makes it seem like it's more important, puts more focus on it and makes it harder to accept.
NOTHING makes you realize how unfair the world can truly be as hanging out with attractive people does. I’ve never thought of myself as ugly, but I’m not particularly good looking, and my friend group has been more or less similiar my entire childhood and teen years. Now in my 20s, I’ve made a couple of extremely attractive friends (and this is important-both male and female) and went out to dinner/drinking a couple of times with some of them. People would chat us up! Waiters would stay behind to talk! Random passerbys would come up and chat! I’ve NEVER experienced this before, I was so shocked. I was, of course, mostly ignored during these moments, but as long as we had a pretty face in the party, something nice would happen. I remember thinking ‚Aha, so this is how life can be, and how people get confidence/social skills. Being attractive.’ and it totally crushed me. I don’t even get the chance to talk to people because I’m average and invincible. I wont even mention how coldly men treat unattractive women, even if theres literally no romantic/sexual subtext to an interaction. I’ve seen this from my male friends as well - the pretty friends are treated a bit differently than the unattractive ones and its totally subconcious. Its just the way humans are built.
Are your friends more friendly and outgoing? That could be more what it is. Being attractive is usually not enough for that because there are many attractive people who are cold and boring. People don’t want to talk to people like that no matter how good looking they are. Don’t look at it as though you’re ugly and they’re better. They might just be more approachable. See how they talk to people and then try emulating that. You might be surprised at the response you get
I have my own story: So up to grade 9 i've been bullied. I never knew how to take care of my curls, so my hair always looked frizzy and i was pretty chubby back then. After I grew into my features, lost weight and found out I had curly hair however, people started to chat with me and now that I am in grade 12, i am one of the "populars". Don't get me wrong, i'm pretty happy rn, but it just hurts, because sometimes i realise that, had I stayed the way I was, I would still be lonely. And though I know i found real friends, I still question if that would be the case, might I lose this face, this body of mine. Not too long ago I talked about my dream university and job with my uncle, and when he said I could also just marry a rich man, i felt so ashamed. He laughed as a mentioned that I would be the rich woman, people would want to marry. I am not just my appearance and never once did I claim to be.
Honestly, if u have indeed found true friends, they wouldn't leave u even if your appearance changed. If some do, then rather than crying over the people who faked themselves, its better to create memories with the one who still are with u despite your appearance change. And u should talk to your friends abt this if u can, I'm sure they'll make u realise that its not the case u think it is.
I can relate to this so much. I was overweight growing up and no one really wanted to be my friend and I was never part of the popular kids. But after I hit puberty and lost weight and grew into my features I gained popularity in my school and even became part of a big friend group. I'm not saying I'm extremely attractive, but loosing weight really did help lol so I can confirm people do treat you better or want to be your friend if you're more attractive.
Just ask yourself - are your friends attractive too? And would you hang out with them in the first place if the werent? btw - your uncle laugh when you said "I would be the rich woman, people would want to marry" - thats coz getting rich is hard and majority of women preffer to find a rich man, not to work hard to get money. And the second reason is - Men dont care if a woman have money or not. Mostly - coz most of the time - a woman with money - wants a man with even more money! A very few women marry a man with less money than them. Do you want a man like that?
I used to be “ugly” and “fat”, I was bullied as well. When I got in uni, i went on a really strict diet and lost about 13-15kgs in a year. I can tell you that after I got skinnier, people treated me better. I got so confused and sad and happy and scared at the same time. Yes I’m prettier now, yes people are nicer to me now, some even more than just nice. But now, I’m 22 years old, battling with eating disorders because I’m so sacred that I’d gain weight or get uglier. Because I’m scared of getting bullied again, scared of people leaving me, scared of losing the life that I have now.
As a man I know the feeling... when I got to uni... I became quasi anorexic after a very unorthodox series of crash diets. But suddenly out of nowhere... girls were insisting they drive me back to my apartment or insisting I come see their band play or come on shopping trips with them to the malls. Suddenly people call out and want me to play football with them even though I told them I suck and they said "We'll go easy on you bro". Suddenly people gave me 20 dollars without thinking twice and when I tried to pay back... they said no problem man. I am in my late 30s now, a father, repeatedly diagnosed with certain cluster b personality disorder and after several divorces... am still struggling to bring myself to gain weight because I do not want to be unattractive again. I'm 90KG.
Ppl who leave u because ur not pretty anymore they don't deserve u. True friends love u no matter what.. don't worry about losing ppl who don't care about u
The AWESOME thing about being pretty is that you literally befriend 9 out of every 10 people & create bonds that they'll cherish (especially at a guys end & ESPECIALLY to a less genetically gifted looking guy). Even if only 1 out of 100 interactions become a very good to true friend from all those interactions, you could be just as happy or even happier since you know who truly values you for you.
Its horse shit how fat ppl just lose weight and become pretty if ur skinny and igly theres rlly no hope everyones like work on irself but theres nothing to work on theres nothing u can change without surgery
This is so true. I feel like people only like me for my looks and there is nothing else good about me. If I don't have my looks I am unworthy. At the same time, I'm always getting sexually harrassed everywhere I go, even at work, because men see women as objects. I didn't do anything to deserve it except being pretty.
it's so weird to see this point of view. i mean i always tried hard to over come out somehow and it was always in vain, my personality is extremely reserved and very insecure about my appearance so i could say that i don't have any good points. I always saw the beautiful people privileged to be attractive, that is to say they have something good that is the primordial thing and what a human being, whether he wants or not, sees. already with their personality is clearly that nobody has a hegemonic, but by the confidence they receive from others can exforzarse more to go out, although in itself they do it by their appearance. People who are not dressed on the positive side of beauty are excluded, or even have to stand out even with their personality to be heard and seen. I also received a lot of teasing and criticism since I was little, I really just want to be like one more .., so that's actually why I saw the pretty people so lucky. I wish one day I could really be someone different, I think anyone is prettier than me and I would just say that you can see your positive side, although of course I can't say anything because I am not living your life and I guess you will also have a lot of things, like any human being. On the other hand, regarding harassment, it is clear that no one, not even a woman, whether she is ugly or pretty, or even the prettiest, deserves it, neither is a good excuse to point out that she deserves it. And unfortunately in my country no matter who you are, no matter how you are, all women suffer harassment every day. Men are so perverse.... so long and badly written... hahaha sorry, i don't speak english and i did the best i can. by the way if you made it this far thank you very much for your time!!!
I'm so sick of pretty people telling me to just "not worry about it" like sorry but no, you get showered with compliments and praise, I get bullied. You get called a goddess, and I get called names I cant repeat back to my parents. Everyone wants to be with you, everyone wants to pretend to be with me for a sick joke. Sure, compliments from others dont bring confidence, but it sure doesnt help. And constant beratement for my appearance, constantly getting compliments only to later figure out they were given to me to see if I'd be gullible enough to believe that any single person on this planet may find me attractive, sure doesnt help my confidence.
It isn't there fault they are pretty it is the people. If you are frustrated by the system change the way you look at yourself, treat yourself with respect don't call yourself any kind of bad names . I know being pretty is excellent I'm surrounded by extremely beautiful women most being family I know how it feels to be stepped on and ignored. But the body and face your soul lives in is your home for life if you don't respect it no one will . I have simply accepted the fact being pretty is nice and I know no matter how hard I try I cannot be the way they are. I also like if anyone in life likes me it's not for shallow compliments like hair/ face /nose which will fade with time ,if no one likes me it is also good because I don't wanna be with someone who just sees the looks . Life is being content with whatever you have work on goals big or small be a good person and treat everyone equally. I'm sorry for venting but you said hit me personally so wanted to share my thoughts too. And a person who only compliments or helps pretty people isn't a good person at all you shouldn't strive for their attention because it is there only because pretty people offer them something lustful .
@@studydesign2071 I never said it was their "fault" that they're pretty, I said it's stupid for pretty people to constantly tell everyone to just "not worry about it" as if that actually helps anyone. It's like when people tell depressed people to "take* a walk*" or "drink some water". The way pretty people are treated makes life vastly more comfortable for them while the way that I am treated as an ugly people literally gives me trauma. Theres more to it than just confidence, the way other people treat you plays a huge role in your life. I dont care about getting the attention of people who only ever care about pretty people either, I'm just saying what I already said above.
I get your frustration, but what is it you plan to do? Complain? Would you prefer they told you to get cosmetic procedures done? I think that would offend even more. All you can do is not worry about it to have any chance at life. Or be willing to drop money on changing your physical being, which is probably not a good idea either. You don't have to get upset because you don't have to put yourself in situations where you need a "pretty" person to tell you how to cope with a serious issue in your life.
@@MonetAllDay I'm not saying pretty people have to barge my door down and give me free plastic surgery and teach me how to do my makeup and give me good clothes and force me to stick to a diet. I'm just saying that saying "dont worry about it" does nothing to help with anything. Telling someone to not worry about something has never made them less worried. A little recognition that it's a more serious problem would be nice.
@@auggiemain It sounds like the problem is that you think they aren't listening to you when you express yourself. Sounds like you just want them to hear you and not dismiss it. Which I get that.... but what exactly do you expect them to say that would help? I legitimately want to know what they could say that IS helpful. It's also fine if the answer is that you don't want them to say anything and just listen. But it also sounds like you're expecting some kind of feedback or helpful advice. What exactly would that be?? Again not saying you're for sure seeking that, it's just an observation. And I never said anything about them having to make you pretty through all their wisdom and talent lol. I said what would you rather them tell you? To build your confidence and go on with life (easier said than done) or take more drastic measures to actually change your physical appearance (also easier said than done)? There is no good answer on what you should do.
The model saying models are the most insecure lacks perspective. They can't be more insecure than people who would rather die than remove their clothes or pose in front of a camera. They may feel insecure and hyper-aware of their looks but they know that they're physically accepted enough on some level to cash in on their appearance.
invalidating someone's insecurities because you think they're pretty or socially acceptable will not make them any less insecure. it's like telling a mentally ill person to stop being mentally ill because you think they're doing better than people at mental hospitals. models are more exposed to being judged, criticized. not only by the press, the people, their managers, but also by themselves. "i weigh more than last week" "i couldn't do my workout today" "why do i look fatter?" "why do i look like a skeleton?" "my agency's gonna kill me if they found out i ate this"
@@chemicallycalm5878 I'm not invalidating them by acknowledging perspective. I get hungry, but I would never claim I was the hungriest person in the world unless I was joking. I'm self-aware enough to know there are people starving in third world countries. If you get paid to look good, you are aware your physical attributes are favorable and it's ridiculous to claim models are THE MOST physically insecure. Maybe they think about it more based on their job, but that's a choice. Whatever career you have, you will be self-critical of your work.
@@briterry4961 As someone who is getting into modeling this really irks me. Most models know that they are attractive relative to the average joe but that's not where they're insecurities lies. The average person have a standard for how they want to look and what they deem as acceptable and those tend to be pretty achievable. But when your livelyhood depends on the way you look and whether or not you can put food on the table you start to care alot more about your looks. The standards that the industry requires these days is insane and we are usually insecure about features that are immutable. You can lose get a lower body fat percentage but trying to maintain 9% isn't what most average poeple are thinking of when they try to lose weight. Add to that insecurities such as the way your cheekbones look or the way your nose looks are things that can't easily be fixed without surgery. What most people don't realize is that models aren't insecure that they don't look good relative to the general population, they are insecure that they don't meet the unreasonably high industry standards.
@@aminyapussi4740 You don't think non-models feel pressure to meet "unreasonably high industry standards" too? Do you know how popular plastic surgery and body modification is these days? Everyone wants to be an Instagram model. Traditional modeling isn't even the standard anymore. You're making the decision to pursue that career and subject yourself to those insecurities. Many people won't leave their house, because they get bullied over their appearance and don't have a choice. I don't doubt you're insecure, but have some perspective. The modeling industry is not representative of the whole world.
lets talk about how a lot of pretty privilege is mainly being skinny 🤡🤡🤡🤡 you could be pretty but not being skinny automatically makes you less prettier
My story about that here, so I'm really short, below 5'0 at 16 and I'm curvy so I just end up looking like the wide putin meme, I'm fit, I have a toned belly but my thighs and curves make me look fat and people did say I have a pretty face but just because I appear fat I've been bullied about it It makes me jealous how the west loves curvy girls but my country doesn't People say I roll around like a ball to demean me but tbh I've learnt that people aren't satisfied with anything
@@sazaaaam yupp same with u right here I'm 5'0/ 5'1 so even though I weigh the average as girls who are 5'3 - 5'7 I'll never be skinny. Plus it's so easy to look like you gained weight when you're short you can literally never win 🤡🤡🤡🤡 I currently live in the West after previously living in Southeast Asia which is generally such a fatphobic society. And yes people here like that I'm curvey/'thick', it's considered 'hot', and while I don't see it in myself, I've started to see it in others and my perception of beauty has improved. However, overall society as a whole STILL mainly rewards skinniness regardless of peoples different genetic makeup.
This is the reason why I’ve always hated the phrase “someone else’s beauty doesn’t make you less beautiful” (or something like that), when in reality, that’s exactly what it does in society’s perspective. If you are not conventionally attractive, you ARE considered less than those who do fit into that conformity. It quite literally makes you viewed as “less beautiful” and it makes me so sick and sad to think about. I’ve seen plenty of pretty privilege in my workplace too and omfg is it real and boy does it SUCK because some of those people are the most narcissistic, manipulative (literally life-changing horrible) people I’ve had the displeasure of knowing, and they get chance after chance year after year because the boss thinks they’re just too pretty.
Being unattractive basically made me invisible to other ppl , it's so painful to love yourself when you feel like not pretty enough. Like my classmates I never experienced to be someone's crush or anyone's priority, not even in a friendship. Love and other lovely things just belong to pretty ppl, they easily get the things which unattractive ppl like us ever dreamt of.
Its rare to find people genuinely have connection with them..usually they lonely..most of time been taken advantages off..bcs most people think we easily get "thing"like only them struggle we dont..i eat you eat,you live i live,you die i die too..the different was people didnt felt grateful of what they have.Usually people who have wealth,title,etc..their circle usually very small..what do you guys think the reason was?
I had a client who was drop dead gorgeous. She was hit on by men aggressively. It got exhausting for her. These men felt like if they summoned the courage to talk to her, she owed them her attention and they got angry if she asked them to bug off.
@@hollowwoods7130 she's suffering from success not from being inadequate and she's not being treated as less than, she's just seen as the prize and as above average and is treated as above average not as an object,rejction hurts so ppl take it badly since it seems as a personal attack ,not trying to justify since they still dont posses that right,but saying she gets treated less human for good looks in a safe environment is absurd
@@queenieb7378 nah she's just pretty thus she obtains the benefits and downsides of that,all women can get someone to sleep with em but its not the same for men thou I do agree that they should not act in this way in the face of rejection from a pretty individual
in middle school i used to be considered the “ugly” friend, had ugly pimples, ugly glasses, really did not try with my appearance, just threw whatever on. boys used to treat me horribly just because of the way i looked but then when they would talk to my other friends they would treat them so nicely, it really brought down my self confidence. im a junior in highschool now and you could say i had a glow up.. it’s just so different now. boys treat me nicely and ive had people say they like me.. have had free stuff just for being considered “pretty” so ive been able to see both sides of the spectrum and it really sucks to say it exists and i dont know if it will be going away any time soon and it sucks
Wow I have gone through the same thing as you. Although I was conventionally cute as a kid, when puberty hit, I got many pimples on my face, gained weight and wore glasses. Back then I didn’t care about how I look so I was often called “ugly” by boys in middle school. When I glowed up in high school and college, I’m suddenly the “pretty” girl in the group. I’m often praised for looking pretty and all that…I also don’t get looked down or mocked by boys anymore. But deep down inside, I’m still very insecure because I’m scared if I’m not pretty anymore, people will treat me badly like in the past. It definitely sucks tbh. I wish people don’t bully others for appearance because that can damage someone’s self esteem permanently. I experience both sides of the spectrum so I can feel the pros and cons of both of them. But being pretty will not stop you from being insecure. It might help a bit but not much. I have friends who aren’t considered conventionally attractive but they are so confident in their own skin that I envy them. Anyway, long story short, key thing is confidence. If you have confidence, no one can make you feel bad about yourself
Consider this - do YOU treat the boys you like better than the ones you dont care about? But be real honest about it. Now think about how the buys that you like look like. Are they ugly? Shorter than you? Pimples on their face?
Girl this is my exact same story- word for word exact!! thing is bc of my race it kinda takes away from it but still, middle school sucked but now? it’s a lot better but the downside is that people feel entitled to me and think I owe them something for purely existing. No matter what I look like I’m never really treated as a human with feelings and emotions- people used to see me as ugly now they see me as exotic.. I wonder how it’ll be when I get older :/
People complaining about the "burden" of prettiness rly piss me off. I understand it's not all that perfect but nothing is. Being pretty is still objectively better than not being pretty. End of story.
As a pretty girl, agreed. I'm still insecure sometimes, but it is still better than being unattractive. I used to be unattractive but got my glow up. When I was unattractive I was always ignored, not taken seriously and laughed at. I barely had friends at all. Now that I'm pretty, everybody is suddely super nice to me & they always help me. I hate it. Why couldn't they do that when I wasn't attractive?
@@thecandycat5889 No no, "people in Africa" is a very bad analogy. More accurate one would be a rich person crying and complaining to a poor person about how their butler messed up their supper. It's completely out of touch with reality.
I feel that this privilege only applies to people who seem more shy and soft. But if you're really pretty but seem to always set your ground, people won't see you the same
yes! i experienced this just a few weeks ago and it was insane for me. I have always been a tall big girl, confident in myself and with a bold personality. This year i suffered from depression and anxiety, so my whole personality shifted,; i secluded myself in my own house for months. I also ended up losing weight due to depression so when i started to go out with friends and taking care of myself again, i looked and acted very different. I became super self conscious and shy in public and with strangers; I was in a very sensitive state of mind, so everything from my mannerisms, to the way i acted where really soft and delicate. I started noticing that the male waiters were so much nicer, people invited me sweets or gave me free drinks. When i asked why, they simply told me because i looked cute or fragile. Im still in shock because i honestly felt really bad hahaha I was emotionally struggling all this time and people liked it because i was shy, soft and delicate.
Idk, its kinda complicated. Why would you go all the way out to comfort someone who looks like they feel comfortable and chill with their environment aka in their zone. I think its came naturally for people to try to comfort someone who looks 'uncomfortable'. Well, usually people associate shy with uncomfortable.
Definitely feel this way. I would consider myself pretty but I dont get the same treatment as the people in the video. Im often told I come as standoffish/mean or haughty on first look so I guess that makes sense why I dont get free things.
that is so true because I remember when it was the start of a new year at school, at the beginning I was shy and soft and everyone was talking to me, boys where suuuper nice to me even doing things for me as hold the door, hold my bag, etc. And then when they got to know me, a very outgoing person, very extravagant, and to quote you "setting my ground" they stopped talking to me and categorized me as a "looser"
We're all insecure, but being beautiful can make it so much easier to live with. Let's not act like pretty people should be praised or given a trophy for having the same hardships as non pretty people. Those with pretty privilege make these videos while also benefiting from this system. And if you had the choice to snap your fingers and no longer be pretty. I guarantee you wouldn't. Would you rather be sad and pretty or sad and ugly? Also Trisha is being sarcastic about having pretty privilege.
@@vaisriv True, but their situation is still a privileged one. It's like rich people can be sad, but they're still better off than someone below the poverty line.
You're right and I acknowledge the point you're making because this video literally only used pretty examples while rendering average people invisible. However, that's the inherent problem with any privilege. It's about having power while suffering the consequences of being part of a broken system versus having no power within that same system. Like yes I'd prefer to have power (in this case, beauty is power), but we should really be trying to overturn the system and do away with the pretty versus ugly dichotomy altogether.
When I was in middle school I got into a relationship with this 'popular' guy. I told my friends and they asked if he seriously likes me and the disbelief on their faces was extremely visible. They kept asking if he was serious to like me and kept staring at me. I didn't think what it was all about until now I get that it was because I wasn't pretty..
@@yourrejectallamerican everyone’s perspective of beauty is different, he might have some flaws too and that’s okay. As long as you are being genuine and yourself, the ppl making fun of u are the douchebags
As much as you would want this privilege let me tell you how hollow this is , people do not love YOU , no they don't have any care for you, they are just being kind to you because of your body. So whether you are "pretty" or not. Let's not strive for outer beauty and make it something to feel proud about, for our own happiness and freedom from people's opinions- both good and bad. I literally don't care if I achieve less success if I don't look good. I am ready for it, this way all my success would actually be MINE, and I can be proud of it and proud of being strong and becoming a role model for others.
How i think about this sometimes is, i now accept myself for being average/not pretty and if i am confident in myself even when im not pretty then my confidence is much stable than say someone who used to be pretty but suddenly become ugly for whatever reason, would they be able to truly accept themselves. Sometimes im just sick of pretty ppl telling me to be confident like hey ya i can easily be confident if i have pretty privilege. So i feel like it’s totally worth the pain of going through being ugly and accepting and loving myself now. But i do have friends who are pretty but also truly accept themselves and I do think they would accept themselves even if they become ugly someday.
Back in college I was really jealous of this other girl in my friend group who was gorgeous. Like she could've easily been a model and had a great sense of fashion and a bubbly personality to boot. As someone who's shy, doesn't really dress up a lot, and feels pretty but knows they're probably pretty average looking I was jealous of how easy it was for her to make friends. She was constantly with people, people always wanted to hang out with her, it seemed as if she just had this magnetic charm that I wanted *so* bad. We met freshman year and were friends with a lot of the same people (same major) and stayed acquaintances through senior year so I could see how her friendship group changed. I eventually noticed that although she had countless acquaintances she didn't really have any close friends. No tight group that she always got together with every weekend or anything like that. When we studied abroad together she made 2 close friends who (as far as I know) were and still are her only 2 best/really close friends (I'm friends with 1 of them which is how I know). In hindsight I think being pretty enabled her to meet more people but it prevented people from getting close. Even when talking to other friends who had also known her since freshman year, all anyone would have to say about her is: "Oh her? She's so pretty!" Sometimes followed by "and nice!" but still, it was like no one cared who she was as a person just her looks. It made me a lot less jealous of her and a lot more wary of pretty privilege (it definitely exists, and definitely still a little jealous of how easy it is for her to meet people but I also understand that it's probably not a cakewalk for her either).
@@nkululekompanza9682 I get what youre saying but to be fair she pretty much was forgotten, nobody would mention her except in the context of listing groups (like groups of people in our major, who were going to a particular event, etc.) If anything I feel like being pretty made her less memorable cuz thats all people remembered about her (as opposed to being remembered for being nice, funny, outgoing, etc)
When I was a teen everybody made sure to let me know that I was unattractive, “friends”, classmates, teachers, even friends of my parents. I went through a few humiliating experiences, so far my teen years have been the worst I have ever felt with myself. I am in my late twenties and I have changed a lot, and now I am “pretty”, and the way people treats me is shocking, my old self would never believe it. When I stared to get “pretty”, most of the same people who made me feel bad where now making sure that I knew how much I changed , I even remembered a friend of my mother, a full grown man, send me a message that said “you look better now”. I will never understand why people feel free to talk about someones looks like it’s nothing, like if those comments aren’t hurtful and can fully affect you for years and if you are not careful, for your whole life.
Honestly its such a bad thing it ruining my mental health im 15 now and as long as i can remember ive felt insecure, amd that is because of how people treated me when i was 10-13 now all i can think about rn is a way to get prettier its fuckedd up. I wrote this cus i felt like i could relate to that teen part u wrote
Same happened with me, I was not a pretty teen & struggled a lot with self image, I did not let people bully me but I used to Hate myself, I wrote literally books about how unfortunate I am cause I did not win the genetic lottery, I'm not skinny as my whole family & I struggle with weight loss & stuff. But as I grew older I start to think like whatever let people think whatever they want.. I do not care.
One of the reasons I started dressing up back in 8th grade, wasn’t because “school is a fashion show” but because I knew no matter what, people will judge you off your appearance. One of the main reasons on why someone who doesn’t seem that good looking, but still have a ton of friends, is the way that they present themselves. Also the reason why I’m broke on clothing. :)
@@getinlouiser2677 Nah it's good. Focusing on just appearances gets old fast for most people actually. I tend to see when attractive people age they get more concerned about finding this out and the need to actually learn how to socialize
fr i feel as though everyone had somewhat of a glow up in 8th at my school since people realised that you are treated better if you look as close as you can get to being conventionally attractive, at least for themselves, but it was also the stage in which people started showing more of who they were with their style and discovering themselves instead of wearing what mummy and daddy liked.
Seeing people in the comments conforting others or themselves by being pretty or '' don't worry you are pretty and worth it'' is even sadder : (I'm not critizing your kindness) It really shows that it is "not okay" to be ugly or that beauty is the only things that matters... Thanks for reading
The thing is we weren’t meant to see so many pretty people in our lives. Social media changed the way we perceive each other and it’s sets standards too high. If you look on the street I think it would be a challenge to find someone really attractive. Most people are average, it should be special to see someone very attractive walking around in the streets. But social media made it a common thing. I think the problem with most people is accepting that they will never experience the things people with pretty privilege do, it’s a harsh truth that’s gets sugarcoated a lot of the time.
“Just don’t focus on looks” Good advice, but not really realistic in this society that is primary focused on them. It’s easy to say it but actually doing it is a whole different matter.
I'd take pretty privilege as shallow as it is, your actual talents, smarts and wits, often 'surprise' people, even giving you extra credit. You are then the 'whole package'. As much as it is shit that people assume you to be as shallow/dense/egoistic as they clearly are, I'd take that any day over being treated as ugly, being bullied for your looks, and if you have no talents or humour or social skills you're basically nothing to people but something to tread all over for them to feel better. You get more opportunities, more kindness etc being pretty. And part of 'pretty privilege' is not even caring or thinking about being treated the way ugly people are. You can hate pretty privilege all you like. But nobody hates it as much as ugly people. They get treated like absolute garbage. This is almost like complaining about skinny privilege. Would you rather wake up one day ugly? No, you wouldn't.
Fair enough but based off my observations a lot of the time ppl who are pretty and talented are disregarded bc they could simply just marry a rich person but yeah I'd choose being pretty over being ugly
@@somerealthotgirlshii7075 but that's not actually disregarding their talent, if anything that is merely pointing out the fact that they are making effort they don't need to make, I.e, extra credit
Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. I think lots of the defensiveness in this comment section comes from people who feel like they're being vilified for having an easier time of it, so they're pushing back by talking about their personal issues with "being pretty". I don't think this makes them bad people, or invalidates the fact that they've had struggles in life, but it does create this weird sort of tension between people talking about their experiences in comparison with each other in a slightly passive-aggressive way. I feel like if we were able to actually listen and respond with understanding for each other's experiences, this comment section would be a lot more supportive and a lot less judgemental/defensive on both sides of the spectrum. Lots of people here are talking about very personal and painful stories so to see this potential opportunity for empathy and genuine support slip by is very disappointing. :(
I’ve caught myself falling into the trap of pretty privilege. By this I mean that one day this summer I was volunteering at a care home and a woman who comes to do daily activities with the residents had just arrived. This was the first time I saw her and the first thing I noticed is she was insanely gorgeous. Like pretty beyond belief. Anyways, she also has a very big personality and is very outgoing. It kind of annoyed me a bit as an introverted person (because I’m not use to being around veryyy extroverted people) but I just brushed it off as a “Oh she just must be extroverted, she’s not annoying.” Then a few months later I looked back and realized… what if she wasn’t attractive to me? Would she still just be outgoing and extroverted? Or would she be annoying and unnecessarily loud? I felt so ashamed of myself after I realized that.
I know lots of 'ugly' people who are extroverted and loud. United Kingdom is basically full of them. Go to any council estate and you will see fat shapeless women wearing mini skirts and talking and laughing loudly. I have nothing against extrovert people, actually I bit envy them. I also knew really pretty girls who were introverts. My point is you can be good looking and still shy but also unattractive and the same time really outgoing. It's more depends about your brain chemistry. Around 20 years ago I started to take anti-depressants and they made me extroverted and easy-going. When I stop the medication I soon revert back to my original quiet persona.
When I was anorexic, people treated me like it was my birthday every day. Then I recovered and gained 50 lbs due to medical treatments. Now I’m losing weight healthily and people are treating me differently again.
When I was younger (from 15 to 19 years old) I used to look quite pretty, but when I turned 20 my bone structures started to thicken and took lesser care of myself, the way people treated me changed drastically. It hurts, but it makes me see for myself who is truly genuine and who isn't, so it's not all bad.
The thing that affects people most is how differently people treat you whether you go from pretty to ugly or ugly to pretty. The things they say, the way they look at you. But it is comforting, that there are people who’ll see past how we or others look.
The fact that it’s so me when I was 14-13 I used to be pretty very pretty people were even saying that to me but with the virus and when I turned 15 I began to gain weight and my eyes change people were telling me that I changed some are telling me that I’m ugly now others are not
I had a similar situation, but reversed. I used to be a bit overweight and didn't take much care of my face or hair, no makeup age 15-19. I lost some weight because of depression, started to take care of my skin and oh maaaan, people's attitude changed drastically. Suddenly I became more interesting and desirable for everyone.
As someone who was considered ugly for most of my life (having more than average body hair, big nose and no lips, oily hair, way too skinny) and glowed up in 2020, I can confirm that pretty privilege IS real and it's heartbreaking. In 8th grade I used to be the girl nobody talked to, was made fun of, I was even exposed to bullying at that time. And now I'm in 10th, getting compliments on my appearance, free stuff when I don't have money, confessions from ex crushes and getting asked out for hangouts with the popular kids. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's just sad that I wasn't given the same attention when I was unattractive, and the difference in how people have treated me in both the stages is so...different. And based on my experience, I'm disappointed on how people just treat attractive people better. And I've just realised that I was never insecure before, dysphoria has hit me just when I glowed up, and honestly, I'd rather stay as the old me.
The old you is the new you - I'm just sorry they never noticed how awesome you are. I hope you can make peace with yourself even if others disappoint you.
@@luminescentfruit6943 idk I just started washing my face before sleeping, before puberty I used to look like my dad and now I look like my mom so ig it's just genetics
Just try to look average as possible so you can get genuine or sincere friends. The more pretty a girl is the more other girls may envy you or hate you for whatever reason. Plus bring average is best, lesser creeps and unwanted attention
This is so so so real, I was overweight my entire life so I was the fat ugly shy brown girl, then I lost all the weight and people started being actually nice to me, even my family who were always really mean. But then I also live in a very racist country so the compliments always go like "you're pretty for a dark skinned girl" "you're pretty, it's a shame you're so dark"
If that’s you on your profile, you are beautiful and so is your skin tone. I always found darker skin pretty. Not saying light skin isn’t. I have light skin myself. My mom has darker skin and I guess that had a lot of influence on what I like because I always found my mom beautiful
@@march9177 thank you for saying that, you're very kind. I do love my skin, it shows my indigenous lineage ❤️ sadly not a lot of people appreciate it 🤷
You're pretty, it's a shame you're so dark ' ..wow!!! What a terrible thing to say to someone!! It is not a compliment. I also hate people telling me ' you are so beautiful for an Algerian ' I hate that honestly!
Food for thought: There was this post that was really famous going around online. It's about an overweight person who had lost weight. She told the people close to her that they're only nicer to her because she lost weight, but they said it isn't that. They said that her whole demeanor changed, she isn't insecure and feel like a constant downer. She's more confident and lively and fun to be around with. So at the end, it was more of a confidence issue. It may or may not apply. But I think pretty privilege is a trend because of tiktok, but not necessarily a real issue with significant impact
As much as I agree about the downfalls of focusing on appearance, I think the dangers of pretty privilege to the pretty individual pales in comparison to the effects on career, wages, etc, for those that do not have that privilege, especially when compounded with intersectional factors, race, disability, sexuality, gender, etc.
Money itself even effects beauty. The money and time to do your makeup, buy nicely tailored clothes, pay for good haircuts, even get plastic surgery. It’s the whole “you’re not ugly, you’re just poor” thing. And it’s crazy how true it is.
Completely agree. I feel like even in discussions about pretty privilege, ironically people still only focus on attractive individuals and the problems they face because of it. Realistically though, the biggest victim by far is people who don't have pretty privilege. That should go without saying but I guess not...it's like talking about white privilege and only how it affects white people. Ridiculous
yeah, the struggles of people without privilege is WORLDS away from the struggle of privileged people. ofc, the privileged are still entitled to their feelings and their problems are just as valid, but you just can’t compare the two side by side
Please, don’t ever fucking say beauty isn’t important when your life could be easier or harder just because of something like the way you look. There’s more than enough evidence to support that your life can be affected based on how you look.
Please just say it. You have pretty privilege. It's not because "you're a young girl," it's because you're pretty. Ugly girls, young or old don't get the same treatment that the pretty ones do. Please don't beat around the bush, just say it.
ikr. and i hate seeing these privelaged people COMPLAIN about it. like, shut up we have the same struggles but way worse and it is because we are ugly. you know you have pretty privelage when you complain about your looks.
@@tinkerbelle1763 She is stating that, not complaining about her own features, do you know how to read? She is making a clear comparison between being beautiful vs. ugly. It's ok, we all have smooth brain moments, no need to keep crying about it.
@@tinkerbelle1763 Okay, I hear you. However, you completely missed the point she was trying to make. It's not about her being beautiful or ugly, it's about the proven fact that being more attractive gains you "extra points," in life, and it sucks to hear beautiful people complain about their insecurities as if they should be put on an even higher pedestal than they already are. It's obnoxious because they are always praised simply for existing, and then they turn around and use their voice to try and relate to less attractive people by saying, "I am also insecure." It just comes off as extremely disingenuous, and out of touch. Beautiful people will never know what it's like to be ugly from childhood and on. It's a completely different experience, it's more than just being "insecure." It shapes your reality, the people you can mingle with, the job you have etc... Beautiful people just don't understand it, and that's ok. I just wish they'd stop trying so hard to pretend they relate to less attractive people. Just accept your beauty and move on.
@@tinkerbelle1763 That's not what I mean. I am saying whether you feel beautiful, ugly, insecure does not matter. Regardless of how you feel, if you are beautiful you will be treated better by society, vs if you are ugly. You have more opportunities, access to more benefits, and social connections if you are beautiful. It does not matter how you feel because this is a fact. It doesn't matter if the beautiful girl thinks she isn't pretty enough, because she will still be treated better than an average or ugly person, regardless of how she feels, or how much she complains. It makes no difference, beautiful people still have it much much easier. It's much more difficult to cope with physical insecurities when you are actually ugly, because people don't even pay you any mind. They don't want to help you, and they revel in your suffering. Because you are ugly you deserve it. That's how the world works. So yes, it is very annoying when an already highly privileged group of people cry about the woes of their privilege when they know they'd never give it up if given the chance.
I’m a brown person and I was waiting for my mum outside the shops once…. These two little girls came up to me and stared at me and then asked my why i was so ugly…. I was already super insecure abt my looks and my skin colour so when these kids said that to me I felt rlly hurt 😞😞… I understand that they were little kids but still I kinda felt like slapping them There was another instance when these other two kids were staring at me and I heard them whisper…. “Ewwww she’s so ugly”…. This made me even more insecure and I even ended up screaming at the kids (I kinda regret that since they probably didn’t understand what they were saying) If this has happened to u before remember that u r beautiful and that people don’t know what they r talking abt
you did the right thing by screaming, i'd be mad as hell if someone said that to my face whether they are kids or not. you're beautiful, brown skin is beautiful.
I'm french and a few months ago there had been a small outrage after a famous french music producer went on radio and ranted that female singers aren't pretty enough these days. He said that Angèle was great and very cute while Hoshi "looked terrifying, nobody would want her on a poster in their room". We have become obsessed with people's looks so much that most famous singers / actors today are not only good at their job, they're also good looking. They absolutely have to be.
yes as an actress, at first i never realized the importance pretty privilege has on your success. you have to have something other than average or you will not succeed enough to keep you going. i used to wear blue contacts all the time + do my eyebrows really nice and immediately i got signed to an agency. the other time i wore no contacts, just my dark brown eyes and no other difference but i did not get any callbacks at all. just that slight difference in eye color made all the difference. i’m still choosing my natural color though over fake lenses.
i am so obsessed with my weight and looking "pretty" because I feel that I have a boring personality and am quite shy, and I feel like looks are the only way I could make people like me a little more and at least not think that I'm weird. I hate this mentality and I wish I could do more work on myself instead of putting all the pressure on looking "pretty"
I think you being aware of your situation is a good first step to seeing things in a different way. You can't change something right away even if you want to. Instead maybe try to reassess some of your actions and reflect on them. Just giving you my 2 cents cause I think I sometimes find myself in a similar but not identical situation
I feel the same way. My personality is very bland, and I can’t fix that at all. I mean, how does one become more interesting to be around?? I remember always being told growing up that you can always change how you look, but you can’t change who you are and that always devastated me because I don’t like who I am. The worst part about it is that it’s true. There are so many exercises and diets out there that can improve my physical attractiveness, but there’s not much available to change my boring traits. I remember how people would always say that “pretty people are boring” because they never had to work on their social prowess to get attention from others, they always got it for free. But I’m the proof that you can be boring and plain-looking at the same time.
@@fakeituntilkingdomcome I'd say you're being pretty narrow-minded. It's a subjective thing, there will be people who'd love to talk to you about random things even if it;'s not most of people. Plus, just doing your own 'boring' stuff can be interesting to others. You're really limiting yourself to this idea of being 'plain and boring'. It's a nice thing to be likeable to other people but it's not when you try to accommodate yourself to others - is what i think
Honestly I feel this! Like I have a solid amount of anxiety and it comes out in ways with my bf. Even though he is very supportive I often can’t help thinking damn I have to be hot enough to be this messed up or I gotta be hotter/skinner/etc to make up for how fucked up I am.
If you go in this path, you will only attract people you will never want in your life, those who are only with you because of your looks. Remember that your looks fade one day. When you will be 40 years old or so, you will be invisible, you will start getting grey hairs and wrinkles, your looks will vanish. Why not work on your personality? Start seeking knowledge that feeds your soul and character. I hope you get rid of this mindset stranger, surely when you will be older, you will think that what you did was stupid and you only attracted peopple who are with you for your looks, making you an object. You will say, I could've spent that time learning and teaching myself new things.
I am the fugly friend of the group, and the amount of times I witnessed vendors giving my friends discounts or even offering them foods and items, is immeasurable.
> You only talked about girls, and indeed there is a lot of things that revolve around women and women in media, advertising etc, but I think that pretty privilege for guys is also a thing! oliSUNvia made a video about it, where she talks about how pretty skinny guys look fashionable and even more pretty with clothes that would seem like casual/pajamas to 'normal/average/ugly people'. It's not exactly the point of her video, but it touches this topic. Here is the link, if you're interested: ua-cam.com/video/DA2PqBAyGqI/v-deo.html&pp=ugMICgJmchABGAE%3D > Specifically regarding this video and the clips you showed, I'd say that sometimes it's more skinny privilege than pretty privilege, or that it would have been important to precise that slimness has a big role in it. Many of the women say that they experienced pretty privilege after losing weight. It sure plays a role in beauty standards, but it made me think of something else: losing weight, they also gained confidence, and made choices that made them prettier, or that fitted into beauty standards (for example, the blond hair really suits the 05:14 girl! and it's a common thing) > Although I totally agree with your conclusion, I think it's quite hard to apply it, because the halo effect isn't something conscious (obviously), and we don't realise that we judge someone better because he's pretty. But I totally agree that we need to aknowledge it to start or try to step out of it. It makes me think of Kant and his "Analytic of the Beautiful" (in the Critique of Jugement), where he explains that when we find something beautiful, our faculties are desinterested; I couldn't explain it very well, but our attraction to beautiful (things or people) is natural, so it's hard to stop it. > Regarding Kris Wu, I think it also has to do with the parasocial relationship that the artist and the fans built over his career; because of his looks, of course, but also because of his music, his shows, his interviews, etc, and how much they spent time supporting him, they don't realise that they don't know him as a person; it's not because he's your favourite singer that he's innocent. But I absolutely agree about your point; recently, videos have been made about Tik Tok killers that were so pretty that people couldn't believe they killed or even harmed someone and even made PETITIONS to free them... without knowing them, without caring about the evidence, the families of the victims, etc. Totally disconnected from reality. If you arrived to this point, congrats for your bravery and thank you for taking the time to read this doorstop! Feel free to give me your opinion, whether you agree or disagree :)
She mainly focused on girls because she used the well known example of Ted Bundy (and like you mentioned, Kris Wu), but it would've been nice to see some examples of regular guys in the same position because they definitely exist. I also agree that slimness and to an even greater extent youth play a big part in pretty privilege as well because youth is put on a pedestal in almost every country.
At first I was the pretty girl that everyone wanted to be, and they told me so... And I felt great with these compliments. But after I became disabled, everyone is like "oh what a shame, such a pretty girl being like this", it felt like they took away what I was supposed to be, and no matter how pretty I was or tried to be, it wasn't going to be enough to counter "the problem". I was no longer pretty even so my face or body never change, i was just sitting on a chair.
My experience is I didn’t get voted to be the chairman in on of my school organization even though I did all the work like mural painting and had to give speech every school’s assembly because everyone in the organization was 'too scared' to stand in front. In the end, the 'prettier and popular' girl got the position and I still had to do all the works… (but I got the best award at the end of the year) Pretty privilege is real.
just a story of mine...during my teenage years i was kinda nerd ,not into fashion or makeup say i wasn't good at it...but after some years i started to have some glow up and all of a sudden people who used to not like started talking to me so yeah i do believe pretty privilege exist...but on the other hand my downside was that some of my friends started to get threatened by me which i feel like it's not their fault
mmm u should talk to your friends and tell them that they dont have anything to be threatened about and that if they're your real friends, they wont be jealous/act on their jealousy
@@fuwarinfluffy8982 sometimes i feels like they will judge me for things i like and will never credit me for the things i do say regardless of whatever i do for them they'll mention all of my drawbacks most of the time so yeah!! thinking of cutting that person off
@@userm180 i would absolutely love to only if they were not complicated to talk this thing ...i mean they don't even acknowledge the things they say or do to me they're just like give me that judgment most of the time
There are also people who are mean to you if you’re good looking. People will point out your flaws to “put you in your place”. Think about how heavily celebrities are judged and put in tabloids if they look fat or age. People will also assume you’re stupid or shallow so you have to try harder to be taken seriously.
I had a ex friend do this to me I never said I was pretty ever and she just came out of nowhere and said I know what this girl has that's pretty than you her eyes... like ok but what was the reason
That’s true snoozilla, I’ve had people be unnecessarily mean to me in work settings, possibly because they assume I’m always treated extremely well, I’m not sure
i agree with tis, ive had girls be extremely mean to me just bc im pretty. like ive had friends point out tiny things that made me insecure for no reason. the most ridiculous one (now looking back) was when an ex best friend told me "well you have red hair, guys like blonde better sooo" i then got so insecure abt it that i dyed my hair brown and suddenly everyone else was like "whyd you dye your hair? your natural color was so beautiful and unique" but also many people think that pretty girls get guys easier and its not necessarily true. guys are often rude to me if i turn them down bc i can tell from a guy who genuinely wants to get to know me from a guy wanting to sleepwith me. and when i turn down the shallow guys they get so rude. being prety isnt everything. especially if you have no personality or are dumb. i used to be ugly and as pretty privilege exists, i do miss when guys would hit on me bc they liked me for me, not for how i look.
@@head0fmob idk why everyone wants others to be jealous of them so badly. That negativity weighs you down and still you're told "oh well you're pretty so you can deal with it." Yeah I was in an abusive friendship for 10 years with this extremely jealous girl. She was controlling and never let me branch out to talk to anyone. I would have had more friends and a much more fun life so far if it wasn't for jealousy. My social anxiety probably wouldn't have been so bad either. I'd rather get no attention than get negative attention
I feel that having “pretty privilege” is a double edge sword. Sure you get compliments and all that crap, but I feel that some people might see you differently than how you actually are. I don’t want to admit that I have this “privilege” cause I’m pretty average at best, but I noticed this when I started dating in my late teens through 20s when I was out of that ugly stage (I guess). Guys would be nicer to me even though I was still the same person. But the minute they got to know me and not see me as this “perfect girl”, and instead someone who has a lot of flaws, they bounce. Because of this, I felt really insecure for not meeting anyone’s expectations (overthinking and all that) Before I used to like the attention, but now that I’m older, the only thing that I care about is loving myself and having self worth. Pretty privilege can be a thing, but it’s up to anyone, “ugly” or “pretty”, to find that confidence within themselves. Fuck what society says and learn how to love yourself.
when i am by myself, i can enjoy pretty privilege. i'm not ugly, but when i'm out with my best friend who looks like a model, guys will ignore me. they won't even look at me. if you know what to expect, you'll be cool with it. just sit back, and tell your friend not to forget you when someone buys her a drink! LOL. of course, some dude will also try to be nice to you to get close to her, but that's life.
I like this video too but you can’t say this.... there are TONS of UA-cam videos about this topic, and most of this video is made up of tik toks of people talking about this topic
Literally everyone has been talking about this! And a new wave of pretty privilege videos are coming out now Bc of that saweetie doing another horrible performance
My mom was a dark mestiza. She was constantly told almost daily by strangers on first meeting she was beautiful. That was the first thing out of their mouths when they saw her and introduced to her. Constantly. And being told she is one of the most beautiful women they ever seen or they could not imagine a more prettier woman. Even when she died, that is what everyone said, that she was such a pretty lady. That's what she was remembered for. Race and color has nothing to do with it. It was both Hispanic and whites who constantly told her. And extremely naturally beautiful women don't see themselves as beauties despite everyone telling them. I looked like a menonite girl when I was young and they ignored the hell out of me but sang praises to her
@@stefanysoares385 Think a darker and more innocent looking (sweeter eyes) Jackyln Smith from Charlie's Angels. Yes, complete with that fabulous bone structure with prominent cheekbones, wavy black hair and incredible figure. In fact, she was even more beautiful than Jacklyn and never aged physically.
Race and color has A LOT to do with it. Your mom’s experience (which some women do also have) doesn’t negate the fact that many cultures uplift whiteness as the standard of beauty, especially for women. If your mom resembles Jaclyn Smith, then she must be a whiter looking mestiza. So her skin color wouldn’t matter as much compared to someone who looks less white.
@@chiiix33 No, my mom was very very dark. See you are a colorist and focus on people's coloring toooo much. People can look alike and be two different color schemes and even races, you know
Did you all know this pretty privilege would also be applied to babies and animals too?? People would most likely treat a good looking baby better. Like this is so messed up in the core
@@Soundeagle3456but dogs are cute too. I think cats and dogs are on the same cuteness level there could be less cute dogs and cats. Not that cats are cuter than dogs. Many people infact say otherwise (I love cats and dogs both)
As a guy I can definitely say the way I've been treated by strangers and even by friends has changed since I "glowed up." I was always a slightly-below-average looking guy and the way people interacted with me reflected that. The friends I had were meaner, strangers weren't so willing to talk to me or help me, it was harder to get girls interested in me, no one really ever asked me to go to parties or clubs, no one took me seriously, etc. Fast forward to now and I've began working out, taking better care of my skin and my hair, grew into my face a bit more, grew some facial hair and I've noticed the way people interact with me has changed. People are just nicer to you. Strangers started making small talk with me, women started approaching me without me having to do anything, I find it way easier to make friends, people take me way more serious, and a huge one is that people seem way more willing to do favors for you, big or small. Although it's shallow we can't help it. Attractiveness usually signifies good genetics which will result in good looking offspring. We are naturally nicer to attractive people because we are biologically programmed that way.
pretty privilege is real. i never even knew how to approach guys (i still dont know lol), and i was obese till 10th grade, had frizzy, damaged hair and unresolved acne issues. by 2021 my skin cleared up, i lost 40 pounds, cleared my skin, started using products that suit my hair and got into my natural hair curl pattern. LET ME TELL YALL guys i thought i could never pull started texting me first??? i have so so many more friends now, old friends who cut me off reapproach me...its like living a different life. i will say tho, i attract more creeps now when im out and all "done up". also, its not just the genetics or weight loss, you need to do your makeup in a way that flatters you, wear clothes that suit your body type and carry yourself with confidence to *really* be perceived as conventionally attractive. i still am a bit overweight and i am losing more weight, but i fear it has become a vicious cycle now, i never feel skinny enough :) but is this far far better than being in my "ugly" phase? yes. i would take getting sexualised and developing an eating disorder over getting isolated and dehumanized any day.
There’s good and bad to everything. These people that hate others for being beautiful think it’s an easy life. No, we still suffer, like dealing with creeps, more likely to be aimed at by those creepy guys and to be harassed, hated for jealousy reasons, and being reduced to only our appearance.
@@catmerchant8699 look, to be atractive and to complain about creeps, is like winning the lottery and complain that you have to carry the heavy bags of money with you. and btw - would you call those men creeps if they were attractive?
@@catmerchant8699 yeah true, but comparing the weightage of how much bad that comes with being pretty or ugly, the weighing scales fall towards the latter. when you're pretty, you have your own struggles but you're not worse off than what you would have been if you were ugly
@@sumaiyamithi6041 You are massivly stupid. No one is "normalazing" "creeps". What Im saying is that good looks gets you attention - and sometimes its not wanted attention, but its a small price to pay for the good attention. And yes, people often call avarage/ugly looking men "creeps" for doing the same things that attracctive guys do but the good looking ones are seen as "confident" or " going after what they want" lol. Coz you know...pretty privilage! - the same shit in the video and what we talk about in the comment section. Lol.
Cat Merchant if you ever lose your privelage you will understand what we mean when we say we deal with creeps too. i look vulnerable, like a child, so i attract plenty of creepy people. i don’t mean people my age, i mean 50 year old men wearing a cowboy hat in california, it was horrible. pretty people think ugly people don’t deal with stuff like them- no. that’s just not the case. at all.
Something I find interesting aswell is that I used to be feminine presenting and considered ugly for my body and facial features when I had longer hair and wore more feminine clothes etc. but now I’m more masculine presenting and those same features that used to be ugly are what make me “pretty”
You probably have a more androgynous look and found a style which suits you best. For a lot of people, it's not that they're ugly, but their style doesn't suit them so they're not at their best, hence the "glow ups"
it’s so interesting how this topic has become popular. as someone who is ugly, i’ve always known about pretty privilege and how looks DO matter, even if ppl try their hardest to deny it. it’s fascinating to watch people become aware of their privilege in real time.
What are your thoughts and experiences with pretty privilege?
I was once feeling very sick at school and at the point of passing out and I had to stay at school and when the popular pretty girl got a paper cut she got to go home
@@hibye9926 It's disgusting how an actual adult did that to a child but sadly I'm not surprised, cause my math teacher did the same thing to one of my friends and it wasn't even his first or last time doing it
Good journey, some in school like you if you don't meet their beauty standards. And they don't even meet it themselves
Correction People, good luck
I’m thankful & happy for it 🙏🏼💜😅
The other side of pretty privilege is how "UgLy" people are treated. Like actual dehumanization of people found unattractive happens and that's so cruel!
Yeah
Totally, I have been a victim of it several times in my life.
@@smallypuppy22 im so sorry. are u ok?
@@userm180 not really but I am dealing with it. Thanks for asking!
@@smallypuppy22 do u wanna talk ab it?
“Everybody’s ugly to somebody” I’m glad that you emphasized that a lot of people don’t understand that
Probably just the ex lol jk
whom is Kate Upton ugly to?!..whom or who (whatever)
^ i think she’s average looking to me😭
@@Littlemilkdud she says "ugly"
Lol made me laugh
What's really sad is that pretty privilege effects animals too, the "ugly" endangered ones don't get as much protection. 😞
thank you for mentioning this !! its so sad poor animals dont deserve this we invaded their homes and took them and killed them off or left them in poor conditions so unfortunate and sad it braeks my heart when I hear such things its so disappointing and heart breaking, humans are the worst creatures to exist on this planet (of course not every human being but most) they have harmed this earth, other creatures/animals/species and eachother.
So true
Why do you think we protect pandas?
I know 🥺 it’s horrible , literally protect them all
such a good point!!!
I work in customer service and realized that I reaaally tended to give free stuff to pretty people, so ever since I realized that I started giving stuff to people I did not find pretty. The surprised looks I got from them was heartbreaking sometimes...
Awe man, I'll keep that in mind
Keep doing what you're doing. You're doing great
Proud of you
Ur so patronizing, u are disgusting😂
how do you give free stuff to people? i also work in customer service but cant ever do that
I look average and don't have pretty privilege, but one time a random little girl said I looked like a princess. It's one thing to get complimented by an adult, but by a kid? Oh man it's the purest and sweetest thing ever. Kids are brutally honest and I'm just glad I didn't get called 'ugly' lol.
Awww sweet 💜
omg ssame. once there was a middle school on a field trip at my college. i was wearing a flowery dress and a flower crown. the students couldnt stop ogling me. they were amazed and said 'wow shes so beautiful' all breathless and ill never forget that
I literally only began to feel positive about my looks when I worked my first job, the boss’s little girl told me I’m pretty and I’ve never forgotten it 😭😭
Girl Same! A little girl called me a Disney princess and I will NEVER live that down
Same, once at work a kid came up to me and said "you're a beautiful woman" and I immediately felt better about myself, cause I think kids don't lie 😅
This is SUCH AN IMPORTANT TOPIC. Honestly, pretty privilege is one of those things you can't undo for this society.
In a sense, yes, but right now we’re brainwashed to like certain features that *cough* white ppl *cough* taught us to like/dislike
@@paimonspie8913 exactly. i'm white but i inherited my big nose from my black grandma and since i'm little ppl say it is ugly as hell. now i'm 15 and way more confident and accepting it but it still really hard to not think of how it makes me unattractive
@@joycefernandes2613 My mom and my older brother have huge noses yet people think they’re sexy. It’s about how your features balance out.
@@joycefernandes2613 Actually a big nose doesn't make you unattractive. We are just forced to see a specific type of nose as the beauty standard. You're still beautiful either ways
@@joycefernandes2613 dont listen to em
I will never forget that time, my friend (she’s extremely pretty) and I went to Starbucks and we were ordering drinks, she went first she smiled and said hi how are you, the guy taking the order started chatting to her and was super friendly.. then came I, I smiled and said hi too, all I got was hi and he looked down, his facial expressions and overall friendliness changed drastically.. it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced tbh and I realized that I am truly ugly and yeah pretty privilege exists 😅
you are not ugly, u just need to reject the way he saw you. u are beautiful and worth it ;)
*Update : OMG I never expected it in a millions years that so many people would like my comments. love you all :)*
@@mariahc8558 you dictate your reality.
I'm sorry that happened to you but remember you are pretty, just not to a guy who obviously has a shitty personality anyway 🙃
@sofih mello yup. You are the ultimate creator of your reality.
@sofih mello omg wait can u share to me how you practiced it?do u just persist?
People say that "Its inside what matters", but in truth, our attractiveness affects every day interactions and how strangers treat us.
But if you don't have your: organs, blood, bones and other "insides" you'll die.
Yes. Personality can make someone seem more or less attractive, but when interacting with strangers they don’t know the personality & just go by looks.
Trueeee
Imagine beeing born and raised rich, pretty, mentaly stable and smart
I can just imagine🙂
@@vishakhasah8310 got a better imagination then me homie
able-bodies also! But I guess, that is included in "pretty" 🤢
@@Shirumoon abled in general. I'm autistic and people usually forget something is hard for someone because they can't literally see it. That's also seen as "ugly behavior" (ie steaming) or "picky" (ie loud music and rough fabric are a no no).
Being that just not pretty 😥
Some probably don’t wanna hear it but :
Compliments from others don’t make you confident
It’s you , you are the only one who can do it
THIS IS SOOO TRUE
exactly, compliments from others are just for temporary assurance and the moment someone says otherwise, your confidence will be all gone.
true because even when we are complimented we strongly deny them and even think or doubt if we truly deserve such compliments. We may think they might be lying or just saying it to be nice. The true confidence comes from us because if other people diss our looks and we aren’t affected and if we gladly accept and say thanks to compliments on our looks, it means we are truly confident about ourselves.
agree. during pandemic many old ladies my mom knows would call me pretty and i ws just there thinking like granny do u know im wearing a mask tho?
this is so obvious, yet we oversee it
To a certain extent it never ends. My great grandma was a cute little old lady and could be as rude as she pleased at the senior home and she always got preferential treatment. The nurses would just giggle and say “oh Viola! You are such a firecracker!” Meanwhile, they straight up ignored this much less cute old lady and made fun of her droopy ears. They’d just wheel her into a corner and fuss over my great grandma and as a little kid I noticed this and started talking to the other old lady because it made me so sad. Literally, you can be ON DEATH’S DOOR and pretty privilege still influences how people treat you.
It makes me so scared. I am born ugly and my weight has increased a lot. I wish we all looked similar. I hate pretty privilege. My friend is beautiful and whenever we hung out, since our school days, people called me her sidekick. Even my own family says an angel( her) and goblin(me) walking together. We are both girls but the same clothes look exceptional beautiful on her. People will tell me to get myself fixed ,on my face litrally
@@C12341 not you judging your own grandma's life decisions
you are so sweet for taking the initiative to talk to the other grandma bless ur heart
@@lm3341 i mean what her grandma did was kinda weird ngl, but its her choice
this is truly horrifying
it feels wrong to include children but even they are effected by this. it breaks my heart to see people excluding "not cute" children from their kindness and attention that even "cute children" pick up on this behavior and think it's okay to harrass the unwanted kids.
i'm average looking, but as a girl it messed me up to the point i thought i was a monster. i couldn't do girly things because they are only for pretty girls.
Yeah I’m not a baby anymore. But gosh I see it still now people criticizing babies that were just born 💀 “that’s an ugly baby- oof is that a boy or a girl.”
@@lunarialoonatic To be honest, infants look like rats in their first three months and they all look alike.. but making fun of TODDLERS???? imma throw hands
I totally relate to this
There's a study children don't trust ugly ppl...I think they are harsh than adults
@@jesslim3545 aw but still
It’s not just the level of attractiveness, but the actual features one possesses. Having upturned eyes can make one look haughty and uptight, or a small, slim figure shy and naïve. I read a lot of politicians sculpt their eyebrows to show things, like a powerful look with those sharp, angular ones, or caring with the thick block-shaped ones. We really ought to focus more on the other ways we perceive people, but that’s just the way we were wired.
asian eyes also known as "why are you squinting" fml
@@QuizmasterLaw " East Asian "
This is like one of the few ineresting comments I've seen under this video. Why do good-looking people want to be victims so bad lol most people are just falling for the Just World fallacy ("There has to be equal advantages/disadvantages for being pretty and being ugly") and optimism bias ("Look at the bright side, it can't be that bad"). Especially the Just World fallacy is a huge one and I'm sick of it, it's one of the worst fallacies people cling to. Like she suggested in the video of "shifting our focus away from external appearances" it's simply not possible on a big scale, it's not how people work no matter how desperately they want it to work.
As someone who went from being bullied for their looks to the point of wanting to kill myself, developing social anxiety and depression which ruined a decade of my life, to someone who is at least enough to be considered cute, I wouldn't go back to being ugly if you pointed a gun to my head. I'd just ask you to pull the trigger because that was the absolute worst I've ever been treated and felt about myself in my life. It's very much a common experience among people who went from ugly to attractive that they're baffled by how much better the world treats them, though often the resentment still remains. If you think being attractive is bad just ask how many of these people would go back to being uglier.
If someone has experienced something genuinely awful for being pretty then I'm sorry and I'm sure some such cases exist, most probably having to with men. However, if you look at your average person they would rather be pretty and overall it has more advantages. If anyone has doubts, there's at this point a ton of scientific studies that show that being attractive wields numerous advantages in all fields of life, including how parents treat their kids (yes, even the most "unconditional" love is influenced positively by being better-looking). Attractive people are also seen as more competent, treated better by teachers, more likely to get a job, people are more willing to help them etc. People care more if an attractive person dies than if an ugly one dies. Just being attractive gives you an elevated standing in society, and a certain standing and value an ugly person can never have.
After all, if pretty privilege wasn't a thing why do people not get plastic surgery to look uglier if being pretty is that bad? Because it usually isn't. They only talk about how awful being pretty it is under videos like this but would never permanently change their appearance to actually be worse-looking. You wouldn't even have to pay money, there's people who'd knock out some teeth or break a nose to make it crooked for free. I'm kidding of course, but uglier people are willing to go through a lot of pain, money and trouble to become better-looking. Never seen a good-looking person go through the same to become less attractive. Even if there was few such cases it is by far not the norm. Try to offer the people whining about how hard being pretty is a way to permanently become uglier and see how many take it, I'm sure most wouldn't.
THIS,
we are literally taught by animations and selective casting that villains will have sharp angles and main characters will have puppy eyes and soft youthful faces
even if we just see someone with glasses we think theyre smarter
@@sezmonsta3229 that's true.
“Whats the point of living if I’m not beautiful” that line from Howl just hits hard
everytime i see this scene i cry so much, not just because of howl, but because i relate so much to sofie's words
I relate to this too much...
@its the sound of da police *Howl's Moving Castle* It's a Japanese Anime.
This is the most retarded line I've ever read. Life is much more than other homo sapiens seeing you as attractive. Do not say that I am beautiful for myself. No one thinks they're ugly until society says so.
Being pretty: problem
Being ugly: problem
Being normal: *does exist but people think it does not 😔*
There is no such thing as being normal to begin with
@@OverspillMilk78 I think they just mean average
I think saying “being normal” is kinda problematic as in like everything else is abnormal and “wrong” in a way so like the person above me said, average is a better word
@@georgeoust yep
@@georgeoust wow calling someone normal is now problematic.
The saddest part is when men don't treat you like a person. They ignore you or are rude to you because you are not as pretty as your friend... that shit hurts
The worst part is that you can't even trust women because they(not all) do the same things, this is from personal experience. the amount of girls calling other girls and me "slut" "whore" is just saddening. You can't trust people smh :\ we should look out for each other fr
A lot of women do the same to us. So many horrible people in this world. I really hope some day we all treat each other like humans, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, looks, etc.
Kinda the same with women too. If ur a quiet ugly guy ur a creep or weird but if attractive tall muscles and everything u will be seen as a hot mysterious/loner. Ive seen it a lot.
@banhotdogs not being rude and treat people as humans is too much for you?
@banhotdogs tbh girls are taught by society that male validation is important. It's actually unconscious so most girls don't even know that they like it.
I love kpop and it is horrible seeing very pretty idols being glorified and marveled at solely over their appearance. Sometimes they genuinely aren't great at singing/ dancing rap but people react like they are phenomenal??? Its like, are we watching the same person?
Then you see less pretty performers who are phenomenal even but don't get the same attention. Its saddening tbh.
imo i think the worst part about being glorified for your looks as an idol is that its an ever-changing metric that everyone, literally everyone loses to time. when people are put on a pedestal for their face, their body, when those things inevitably change they lose the only thing they ever really had in their career.
ikr one example is the recent my teenage girl survival where soyeon called out the voters 😭
@@moonlumin if you're talking about the nonstop girls, that wasn't pretty privilege
Literally my faves rn 😟 the fandom I’m in literally hype them to the most but they ain’t all that frr.
I’m in multi-fandoms so it’s pretty hard to guess which group I’m talking about lol. But they have MAJOR pretty privilege.
The real question is how is having a great singing voice much different than being extremely attractive, in terms of entertainment. Maybe you dislike it, but is it really “horrible”. Both are pretty superficial, we like them because they take us on emotional trips. A good voice can be enchanting. Extremely attractive people can be enchanting. These are “idols” not singing purists. How is a more attractive idol with worse singing getting popular more “fair” than a better singer with worse looks.
These lines we draw to ascribe meaning are in most part arbitrary. There is no difference. In a sense, they are both natural talents that can be improved. It’s just that we as a society see Beauty as shallow and angelic voices as worthy of praise, but can you really make a substantial argument for why one is inherently more worthy than the other?
Back in high school, our teacher once told our class: "when you're attractive, you've basically won 50% of life's battles". And I remember feeling down about it thinking "how about us who are not that genetically blessed? Are we freakin losers?" Back then I was an insecure child. I always imagined myself living a life with a pretty face. "Would I be more outgoing and confident?" "Would I be happier?" "Would people like me more?" But yeah, that's life. Some are born butterflies, and I'm a moth. I'm gray. And I can't help being gray. I'm at a better place now. I tried really hard to embrace my flaws to the point that they don't look like flaws anymore. They're just part of me. Of course, I still feel a tinge of envy whenever I see attractive people. But I try not to dwell on it that much.
i like moths :D
you are so very pretty. just because some people dont see it like that doesnt mean its not true
@@userm180 That's very nice of you. I won't say I'm pretty but I think I look alright and I'm already good with that :)
@@rockwitchu5200 ❤️
"Some are born butterflies, and I'm a moth" that for some reason really resonated with me haha. I struggle daily with feeling unattractive and ugly, it's a constant battle for me. Wearing a mask has helped my confidence so, so much
Well it's 'creepy' unless an attractive person does it. Lame society we live in.
Depends on what you mean by that
@@inkubator320 Example being too nice or friendly. If a pretty person does it it's friendly, if a conventionally average looking person does it, it may seem creepy.
Word
Yeah, there's a celeb in my country who's found out consuming illegal substances, but because he's handsome, people swoon and prayed for his wellness, that it's unjustified, yadda yadda.
And then there's another celeb that society deemed ugly. He didn't even do anything wrong, just opinionated. The comment in his posts blew with things like "meh this person must be doing drugs" "he's not handsome so why is he running is mouth" "ugly people needs to shut up" etc. The difference is night and day.
@@andinarizkia Yep that's a good example. It's like people automatically associate being conventionally attractive with being innocent, pure, a hero and so on. It's pathetic.
I wish they would make a Disney princess movie where the Villain was gorgeous and the protagonist was loved for her personality rather than her looks
snow white
@@frankly9432 shes pretty
People probably wouldn't think, "Ugly people can be good", they would only focus on, "The villain isn't really bad because they look better."
shrek
@@reenabohaju9789 everyone’s ugly in shrek
On the other side of pretty privilege, being "ugly" is also a danger because your dehumanized. In my experience I have been treated as a freak show and was often referred as an alien or an otherworldly being in a derogatory way, even going as far as to refer to me as an animal. I was never a human being for them.
I’m sorry 😞 I don’t like that this happened to you. I understand I have always felt ugly but people have not said it to my face. That is so wrong
That's so disgusting, I'm really sorry...
girl "dehumanized" is such an inappropriate word to use in this context. it's meant for much worse things.
you're not getting dehumanized because people call you an alien or an animal, they're insulting you, that's it. that's mean and i'm so sorry they did that to you but dehumanizing is not meant to be used in this context. you are a human being for them. they don't care about your feelings because they're assholes and not attracted to you, but they aren't treating you like an animal and are aware of the fact that you aren't an animal. they are "just" insulting you (not meaning to water down your hurtful experiences, just save this word for things that are actually dehumanising)
I'm so sorry sweetie💗
Same here. I've literally been called a witch for my hair and the way I look. People literally dehumanize me. Im still recovering from the trauma they left me with
Not to mention beauty fades. When beautiful actors become older, they have to compensate more. They need to fascinate the audience with something other than their looks. That's why personality and talent is so important. If your face is all you have, you'll end up miserable
Society doesn’t cared about women personalities. If it was true women wouldn’t strive to look attractive and look younger just to be valued and get decent human respect. When a women it attractive she gets that
probably because it fades, that why is so valuable in our society
*cough* Madison beer *cough*
Beauty doesn't fade. Stop saying grown adults and elders are ugly, your related elders may look like turds and that's why you say this shit.
Beauty doesn't fade. Paulina Porizkova has the same level of beauty now as she had in her 20's. Old people are not ugly
I didn't think I'd say this but Trisha is right. There are so many good looking people on tiktok and insta that have millions of followers just for existing. They literally just look into the camera not even doing anything
ikr
duh..however this doesn't last forever..pretty privilege lasts between 16 and 25 years old..on average..but these girls can build an empire in this time period.
And who do you think is giving them the views? It's not like only the pretty people are cheering and giving views to the popular pretty ones on socials. From what I have seen the people who are putting them on pedestals are the ones who are insecure; who consider themselves to not be pretty so they are in turn contributing to it! I don't get why people are quick to blame pretty people for just being born that way (it's not their fault they fit into society's standard of beauty) The real issue is at a societal level yet no one seems to care about it or address it cos it's easier to hate on pretty people on tiktok. Humans like to flaunt and that's human nature. The less attractive rich people flaunt their wealth instead of their face. the talented ones flaunt their talent.. cos there is an audience giving them that validation. So obviously the ones who feel they are attractive would put their faces on social and there is nothing wrong with that..if everyone else can why can't they do it??
The reality is that the lass pretty ones fall for it too and actually directly contribute to it making them contradict their own beliefs.
Oh they do plenty of stupid and cringey things, thats whats so annoying.
@@appu5593 unattractive people boost attractive people..kpop male groups?, their fuel to go is unattractive women 4/10 and less :/
I think I disagree with this take of "the most pretty people are the most insecure". I think ugly people are just as insecure and they don't get any validation, at least being some level of attractive gives you the feeling you're wanted or lets you have relationships where you feel like you are physically worthy. Would you rather be ugly and insecure or hot and insecure?
Fr. I think another thing though is the fact that a lot of conventionally attractive people know they fit the beauty standard, so if anything even slightly challenges that, they feel extremely insecure. Their egos are high, but *very* _fragile_ . I fit the beauty standard but I find myself looking in mirrors excessively to see if anything about me doesn’t look good, _since_ I know I’m conventionally attractive, and I have to maintain that at all costs or people will judge me for any tiny imperfection, because they already have expectations. I feel insecure when anyone other than me gets complimented or does better at something.
It really just depends on the person. We can’t say absolutely all pretty people are the most insecure and put them into one solid category, etc.
Sometimes preety people just act insecure, i mean just pretend to be insecure
idk, as an average (i think?) looking person I focus very little on my looks. I know what I look like and that’s what I look like. But I’m also autistic so that also affects the way i’m treated, what insecurities I have, and how I view myself. i certainly don’t have pretty privilege lol i’ve never even been asked out!
i think ugly people generally know they’re ugly and i feel like that leads to less specific insecurities maybe? with an aspect of acceptance while continuing on with their life. but an attractive person would be like “yes i’m attractive but i would be more so if ______”, so more specific insecurities. Ahhhhhh! IDK!
There's no "ugly" people just people with bad self confidence and no matter how many say that they're attractive or pretty and want not they won't change the way they view themselves and continue being "ugly"
I think about it like every other privilege, until it's reflected in society writ large, I won't invalidate your feelings ...but if you use your Beauty Capital to harass or intimidate someone who is less privileged than you it makes me think you rather keep things the way they are...
I just hit rock bottom today and pretty much shed a tear over not having a tiktok girl's body. Me, someone who thought that she loves herself, someone who always hypes others up. I didn't think I'd do that. I feel gross and ashamed. I'm really happy that you posted this!
Cheer up 💛 we all have those days where being ourselves doesn't feel like enough... I hope you are comfortable with urself again 💛
Heyyy cheer up!!! drink some warm tea get some good sleep!!
Hey girl, it’s not because you cry one day cause of those girls, that you don’t love yourself, it’s really okay
Girl same,all my life I never thought I'd ever be insecure because I never cared of what others thought of my looks much,but like now days I see anime and then some random tiktok videos in my recommendation in which the girls are so beautiful like seriously,and then anime too, especially watching anime has brought down my self esteem which I NEVER dreamed off,but anyway I'm just doing like a ton of workouts to get thin like my popular naturally beautiful and thin frnds ,hoping I become like them lol✌️,but anyways cheer up I'm sure all of us are beautiful and amazing under the eyes of at least one person in this world
Thank you so much girls, all this support makes me really emotional :") bless your souls, we are all beautiful and looks do not matter as much as the society portrays it online. I am sure. I feel better now. Sending much love and light to all of you
Telling someone to just stop focusing on their looks is almost like telling someone to stop feeling anxious when they are feeling anxious
As someone who is not pretty and suffer of anxiety, I agree, it doesn't matter how hard I try to don't care about how I look, I always end up looking myself at the mirror and feeling ugly
Also I can stop caring about my looks, yeah. But it will not change the way other people perceive and treat me.
Yes. Instead of telling individuals to change, we need to rethink societal values and beauty standards (esp patriarchal ones set by men 😒)
@@isaymamamoo9469 and women, and pretty much everyone. we’re all undermined.
@@isaymamamoo9469No it's not. Superficial people and anxious people are not the same. If you're obsessed with looks, you wither havent dealt with enough bad character or are a crappy person yourself so you will always values looks over character.
I used to be pretty and cute as a kid because I had big eyes, a sharp chin and a small face, which are Asian beauty standards. I was always treated nicely by strangers and teachers even when I didn't do something right and despite being a shy, quiet kid, I would be constantly by loads of people and I was picked to be the main character of role plays by the teachers. As soon as I started entering puberty and wasn't so pretty anymore because I got acne, gained weight, and my face shape changed, rarely anyone pays attention to me anymore. It used to bother me a whole lot because I thought it was my fault I wasn't as loved anymore. It made me feel shit losing pretty privilege. It's just crazy thinking that people treated me so much better when they thought I was pretty.
Hmm, yup this is my exact life story. It made me depressed because my family only referred to me as "pretty".
you remind me of twice jihyo. she was super pretty as a kid but then became less pretty as a young adult. now she has gone back to being pretty thanks to diet and fitness.
@@BuffyunaTV i think context also matters too. even when she was criticized for her looks, it was only because she was chubbier compared to the idol trainees who surrounded her 24/7. if it was outside of the kpop industry, jihyo would still be considered gorgeous. your comment made me realize there are layers to this pretty privilege thing.
Yeah I experience that. It takes me a long time to adapt the changes. Now I learn to love my new self - image and be pround of it
My god, this exactly wtf
As a generally ugly person I developed weird tendency to find attractive people untrustworthy. Like, I don't believe in them wanting to hang out with me and I'm suspicious of their actions because I feel like they're not doing this for real and I'm ''not enough'' for them just because I look the way I look. Small bonus if they're popular - I instantly think they must be two-faced.
Same here, and I don't know what to do with it(
i personally think im -idk average ig, and tbh same bc i feel like being close w someone unattractive makes them seem more attractive?? hope u get what i mean, english isnt my first language TT
I think it comes from actual experiences though, in childhood, kids who were like that actively harassed and mocked me feigning interest in me.
I’ve been called or inferred to not being attractive. A lot of the conventionally attractive ppl humiliated or used me when I was younger. If they start acting nice, I kinda feel it’s a front or they’ve got ulterior motives. Hate to think that way too, but if it happened a lot you’d feel paranoid.
@@elizabethswan5850 @Fuzion Tony Gaming Yeah I see what you mean ! I tend to prefer people who look sweet or special due to their style than people who have trendy clothes and are conventionally attractive - the reason propably being that kids who used to be extremely mean, dismissive and conceited used to look like that
I know it's petty but I will always feel jealous of conventionally attractive women, not that I hate them I just hate that I can't be one of them.
Also ugly girls get sexually harassed and sexually assaulted too and when they do, people will either not believe them, or worse, tell them to take it as a compliment.
exactly
So true
ikr
True, but that's not limited to ugly girls. The same can be said about men for example. In fact, men getting raped is often 'funny'. Hell, some countries don't even have laws against it.
Yeah... I wont admit it but... I really really feel the "i wish im as pretty" on the daily
So if you are pretty you are seen as a object and if you are ugly you are not seen as a human.
underrated comment
Id rather be seen as a object. It sucks to be ugly
i’d rather been seen as an object lowkey
Basically humans don't even exist.
Any mf who would rather be ugly & is currently good looking is delusional or not the best critical thinker since their life would literally turn to sh*t in comparison 9 out of 10 times.
When you can’t tell if your pretty, average, or ugly😭
you r not alone.
You’re most likely average and asking yourself way too many questions then :)
Girl same
Then be humble, assume you are average or you’ll get hurt assuming you’re pretty yet not getting the ‘privilege’
Then there's me who doesn't care about that :/
Back when I was still a freshman in college, I can't forget that time I was grouped up with this dude, who, well, was not conventionally attractive. What happened was that he took a lot of responsibilities for the project (despite us insisting on distributing the tasks more) but couldn't deliver. In the end, we failed our finals because of it. As groupmates, we decided to talk with him about better communication between each other in case we get grouped together again. He confessed that he wasn't "in his best mental state" and apologized.
He was given the silent treatment. I wanted to say something as comfort, but I was too scared because the atmosphere got pretty tense quick. I regret that now. Later on, my groupmates were posting on Twitter and stuff about how "depression doesn't justify anything", obviously attacking this dude indirectly.
Meanwhile, almost same thing happened around two semesters later - with almost the same people, but we were grouped instead with this guy who was really popular because of how fashionable and beautiful he is (kinda androgynous, like those asian pretty boys). We ALMOST failed the class because of how much the project brought our grades down. The difference in reaction was laughable. My groupmates were saying "everything's okay, we still passed" - no "confrontations" or talks about communication and better teamwork or whatnot... just trying to make this guy feel better. I couldn't say anything either that time too, saying words of comfort at that point felt really wrong and hypocritical of me because I couldn't do it the first time.
That said. Pretty privilege does exist for me.
I hope ur a better person now bc that is a really horrible thing to do and being too shy to stand up isn’t a reason 😐
@@greywaren6034 same here! i have social anxiety so i nerver stand up for everyone
Edit: anyone
It's okay to be hypocritical, as long as you improve imo :)
@@greywaren6034 very uncompassionate view
@@maddieb.4282 as someone that has been that person forced to do all the group work and bullied while doing it… I don’t really have compassion for the girls that stood by and said nothing. I have compassion for me who was actually bullied.
Being pretty has its perks and downsides. But when you are ugly, the downsides just outweight the perks completely. Sure when you are ugly, people love you for your personalities and skills, not bc of your looks, but the thing is that not many people will even try to learn more about all of your talents and skills bc you are not pleasant to look at.
This. Basically way less people will give you a chance to express yourself in any way
Finally someone said it
Literally :(
this must be sad omg
Finally any sosmeone who said it
This is a reason why I try to be equally nice to everyone. It just seems wrong to just be nice to a crush and ignore people I deem unattractive. The world needs more compassion!
me too, i will admit i am a very conventionally attractive person but only as of a year ago. and i know how both ends of the spectrum feel. but i also find many types of looks and personalities attractive. so what i do is if i find something about or on someone (like clothing or jewelry or makeup and etc) that i like or admire i tell them, regardless of who they are and what they look like. ill walk up to random people and tell them bc i like it and i like seeing people smile
🙂
we need more people like you
I remember how once I was listening to my mom and her friend talking, and they were sharing how weird it was for them to go from these young women, who were having many people jump to their aid, into "invisible", middle-aged women, who no one cares about...
It was so sad, like the kindness and helpfulness evaporated from their worlds.
That’s why I always say beauty fades away
That's what am experiencing now and am not even thirty shit is so painful
On the positive side they may eventually reach the age where they'll once again receive help for being the "kind looking grandma/older lady". Could sting at first but the attention may return.
@@tfkdandsvkc yikes🥺🥺
It could be ageism too.
I remember my mom subtly telling me I was ugly by saying me this: "study because people on the work field will value your abilities and knowledge rather than beauty". Little did she know that every single person is biased by beauty standards
I don't think that's what your mom meant. Your mom is saying prioritize something of value than something so vain and shallow.
Honestly, pretty privilege is not that serious. It's just a trendy topic now. It exists but its impact isn't as big as people thing it is.
Being in the workforce, a lot of people have been chosen for their job based on charisma, capabilities and experience. Pretty people are only good as influencers and secretaries. But professional job? No.
Also think about the fact that a lot of men are angry women can study and work because it makes us that much closer to being their equals. Men want women's only path to "success" in life to be finding the best husband. Imagine how obsessed about your looks you would be if the only way you could improve your quality of life were finding a certain MAN with such an income. So, before feminism, what a woman could afford to eat or wear, what house she could live in, if she could ever travel or take vacations, whether she had to work or relax at home, were all DIRECTLY determined by how pretty she was. The uglier a woman was, the poorer her husband would be.
@@LT-bk3qk well, it is that serious, I have acne and it's very visible on my face, there are various studies conducted by actual reliable scientists and psychologists that show that people with acne or with a non standardised body and generally people that are not considered attractive by nowadays beauty standards have less chances of getting a job and especially, front-desk jobs or whatever job implies working directly with the public
@@priyameena8803 do you even know if I am actually working on my skills or not? Jesus why do y'all come on this app and think you know everything about total strangers
@Victoria Rivarola I mean honestly the job I'm studying for it's probably more likely that my skills could be valued more but for example when I was trying to get a job I noticed that when I was looking for jobs that had me directly working with the public, I was kind of scrutinised more. I mean it's no news that for example, in my country, it happens a lot that actual job announcements on job announcements sites literally ask explicitly "we are looking for beautiful girls as waitresses/baristas because we want to give the right idea about our restaurant/bar/whatever".
I feel like the ‘charming serial killer’ situations are a massive example of how dangerous pretty privilege can be. I remember on an episode of Court Cam, there was a case where a teenage boy killed his then gf’s baby. They used a phone call between him and someone else as evidence Bc in it he said “I’m white and I’m cute. All I have to do is cry and they’ll let me go.” Spoiler: he was NOT let go. There is also the time when tik tokers we’re defending a school shooter Bc he was attractive. Pretty privilege can be deadly.
Makes me think of that Florida kid who recently ran over a young woman and her baby, and who now has fan clubs online...
@@themumblingdumpling2838 omg the world is so creepy
ua-cam.com/video/MSq54f2JT_U/v-deo.html
What's the name of it
@@sixk8333 Idiocy
I wouldn’t say I am super pretty but, I had a very big nose and strangers would be straight up mean to me, even when I was very visibly a kid. after I got a nose job I was so shocked to see how kind strangers were in public, complementing my hair or outfits. It’s kinda messed up tho, cause I literally had to get a facial reconstruction surgery to be treated like a human.
Same here 😞 The fact that I had to go under the knife to be treated better breaks me constantly. It feels like my true self, the one without surgery, was not worthy enough to being seen as human and was destined to be unlovable.
No because same! people smile at me more often and call me names like “sweetie” after the nose job. like that’s not fair because i miss my old self and I see it so beautiful i always cry and regret doing the nose job but people treat me nicer, that literally doesn’t make me happy because it’s just so sad 🙁
@@me-hk4ro That is why plastic surgery just for aesthetic should be illegal ! Or allowed if you pass a psychology test or something
Hey I want to get a nose job as well. Do you have advice? How old were you and how much was it? I’ve been trying to save up for the procedure
@@rkay4998 it depends on where you live, I’m American but I went to a Korean dr who works in CA, I was able to get it at a discounted price of 4000 dollars (US) cause I was a student at the time. My advice is ask for the before and after photos of patients at the 12 - 18 month point, and be realistic about your expectations, and try to avoid any doctors trying to sell you a super button nose cause those will cave in after a while and that’s a whole mess
Maybe I'm just a bit mean, but I rarely compliment people on their appearances. That's not to say I find people ugly. You probably won't hear me say "you're pretty" or "you have nice eyes". The closest thing is "I like your makeup" or "your outfit is cool". Maybe it's because I prefer being complimented over things I worked for or for my personality. Compared to eyes, creating an outfit takes more work so...
EXACTLY
I can relate! I can't say I don't notice a pretty person when I see one but I don't put weight on the feature of them....
i agree, i do the same thing. if you compliment a child on their appearance too much as a child, it makes them focus on their appearance as they grow older. we learned this in psych. i bet its the same for anyone really, so we need to compliment people on the things they did and worked on, not on things they cant control. same goes for insults
True me too im kinda same
I like to tell someone when they look beautiful/nice Their hair, makeup, clothes, quirks, it's all on their person. I also realize, a lot of people don't even realize how beautiful some of their features are. Or even how beautiful the way they carry themselves is. Their smile, the way their eyebrows move when they make a facial expression. Different aspects of people can be beautiful. Some people are actually surprised when you say they look beautiful or pretty, and I love letting people know like, yes you are adorable lol
“Just don’t focus on looks.” Is the equivalent of telling a suicidal person to just smile and get over it.
At this point I've just excepted my uglieness. It wasn't just the ridicule that got to me it was the pity. Having my friends lie through their teeth when complimenting me, making excuses for why I don't get asked out. I'm okay with my uglieness I guess. There's more to life. I fantasize about being pretty and have a tendency to envy those who are, but at the end of the day I just really don't care. It is what is. Life goes on
Hey, just you saying that makes you a very beautiful person. Don't doubt that, even if you aren't attractive on the outside doesn't make you unattractive overall.
You. I like you. Im sick and tired of women keep telling each other "Ooh, you are soooo beautuful no matter how you look!" Like its a compliment or something lol. Its better to just accept the truth, that you are not so good looking. Its ok. Its not the end of the world.
yess body neutrality. honestly so refreshing to see.
yes it's the lying, the "on no!~ you are pretty!" and I think ignoring how I actually look and lying abt it also makes it seem like it's more important, puts more focus on it and makes it harder to accept.
Dude your an regular looking guy. You're find soneone
NOTHING makes you realize how unfair the world can truly be as hanging out with attractive people does.
I’ve never thought of myself as ugly, but I’m not particularly good looking, and my friend group has been more or less similiar my entire childhood and teen years.
Now in my 20s, I’ve made a couple of extremely attractive friends (and this is important-both male and female) and went out to dinner/drinking a couple of times with some of them. People would chat us up! Waiters would stay behind to talk! Random passerbys would come up and chat! I’ve NEVER experienced this before, I was so shocked. I was, of course, mostly ignored during these moments, but as long as we had a pretty face in the party, something nice would happen. I remember thinking ‚Aha, so this is how life can be, and how people get confidence/social skills. Being attractive.’ and it totally crushed me. I don’t even get the chance to talk to people because I’m average and invincible. I wont even mention how coldly men treat unattractive women, even if theres literally no romantic/sexual subtext to an interaction. I’ve seen this from my male friends as well - the pretty friends are treated a bit differently than the unattractive ones and its totally subconcious. Its just the way humans are built.
:((((
Women treat both attractive and unattractive men the same but males only are nice to attractive women because they want something from them.
Women do the same to ugly men. Get in the boat, you're in for quite a ride
its a lot of societal standards
Are your friends more friendly and outgoing? That could be more what it is. Being attractive is usually not enough for that because there are many attractive people who are cold and boring. People don’t want to talk to people like that no matter how good looking they are.
Don’t look at it as though you’re ugly and they’re better. They might just be more approachable. See how they talk to people and then try emulating that. You might be surprised at the response you get
I have my own story:
So up to grade 9 i've been bullied.
I never knew how to take care of my curls, so my hair always looked frizzy and i was pretty chubby back then.
After I grew into my features, lost weight and found out I had curly hair however, people started to chat with me and now that I am in grade 12, i am one of the "populars".
Don't get me wrong, i'm pretty happy rn, but it just hurts, because sometimes i realise that, had I stayed the way I was, I would still be lonely.
And though I know i found real friends, I still question if that would be the case, might I lose this face, this body of mine.
Not too long ago I talked about my dream university and job with my uncle, and when he said I could also just marry a rich man, i felt so ashamed.
He laughed as a mentioned that I would be the rich woman, people would want to marry.
I am not just my appearance and never once did I claim to be.
im so sorry.
Ouch. Sometimes it's the people in your own family that are your biggest bullies
Honestly, if u have indeed found true friends, they wouldn't leave u even if your appearance changed. If some do, then rather than crying over the people who faked themselves, its better to create memories with the one who still are with u despite your appearance change. And u should talk to your friends abt this if u can, I'm sure they'll make u realise that its not the case u think it is.
I can relate to this so much. I was overweight growing up and no one really wanted to be my friend and I was never part of the popular kids. But after I hit puberty and lost weight and grew into my features I gained popularity in my school and even became part of a big friend group. I'm not saying I'm extremely attractive, but loosing weight really did help lol so I can confirm people do treat you better or want to be your friend if you're more attractive.
Just ask yourself - are your friends attractive too? And would you hang out with them in the first place if the werent? btw - your uncle laugh when you said "I would be the rich woman, people would want to marry" - thats coz getting rich is hard and majority of women preffer to find a rich man, not to work hard to get money. And the second reason is - Men dont care if a woman have money or not. Mostly - coz most of the time - a woman with money - wants a man with even more money! A very few women marry a man with less money than them. Do you want a man like that?
I used to be “ugly” and “fat”, I was bullied as well. When I got in uni, i went on a really strict diet and lost about 13-15kgs in a year. I can tell you that after I got skinnier, people treated me better. I got so confused and sad and happy and scared at the same time. Yes I’m prettier now, yes people are nicer to me now, some even more than just nice. But now, I’m 22 years old, battling with eating disorders because I’m so sacred that I’d gain weight or get uglier. Because I’m scared of getting bullied again, scared of people leaving me, scared of losing the life that I have now.
As a man I know the feeling... when I got to uni... I became quasi anorexic after a very unorthodox series of crash diets. But suddenly out of nowhere... girls were insisting they drive me back to my apartment or insisting I come see their band play or come on shopping trips with them to the malls. Suddenly people call out and want me to play football with them even though I told them I suck and they said "We'll go easy on you bro". Suddenly people gave me 20 dollars without thinking twice and when I tried to pay back... they said no problem man.
I am in my late 30s now, a father, repeatedly diagnosed with certain cluster b personality disorder and after several divorces... am still struggling to bring myself to gain weight because I do not want to be unattractive again. I'm 90KG.
Ppl who leave u because ur not pretty anymore they don't deserve u. True friends love u no matter what.. don't worry about losing ppl who don't care about u
The AWESOME thing about being pretty is that you literally befriend 9 out of every 10 people & create bonds that they'll cherish (especially at a guys end & ESPECIALLY to a less genetically gifted looking guy). Even if only 1 out of 100 interactions become a very good to true friend from all those interactions, you could be just as happy or even happier since you know who truly values you for you.
This is what happens when you care more about random people than itself
Its horse shit how fat ppl just lose weight and become pretty if ur skinny and igly theres rlly no hope everyones like work on irself but theres nothing to work on theres nothing u can change without surgery
I also feel like aging is a huge factor bc when you think your face is what you have to offer the world, becoming older must be terrifying
It's a stereotype pretty people can be talented too
@@studydesign2071 nah
@@studydesign2071 they can, but jobs like an actress/model require more focus on the looks
That's why you don't link all of your worrh to your looks, and build skills. Beauty is a depreciating asset
@@studydesign2071 bruh
This is so true. I feel like people only like me for my looks and there is nothing else good about me. If I don't have my looks I am unworthy. At the same time, I'm always getting sexually harrassed everywhere I go, even at work, because men see women as objects. I didn't do anything to deserve it except being pretty.
same and am only 14 which sucks :/
….
@@ongakira girl is your pfp real? 🤭
@@KandiMatrixXx I mean if you look at it both points are bad, ugly people can get hate rejection... mm bullying(??
it's so weird to see this point of view.
i mean i always tried hard to over come out somehow and it was always in vain, my personality is extremely reserved and very insecure about my appearance so i could say that i don't have any good points. I always saw the beautiful people privileged to be attractive, that is to say they have something good that is the primordial thing and what a human being, whether he wants or not, sees. already with their personality is clearly that nobody has a hegemonic, but by the confidence they receive from others can exforzarse more to go out, although in itself they do it by their appearance.
People who are not dressed on the positive side of beauty are excluded, or even have to stand out even with their personality to be heard and seen. I also received a lot of teasing and criticism since I was little, I really just want to be like one more
.., so that's actually why I saw the pretty people so lucky. I wish one day I could really be someone different, I think anyone is prettier than me and I would just say that you can see your positive side, although of course I can't say anything because I am not living your life and I guess you will also have a lot of things, like any human being.
On the other hand, regarding harassment, it is clear that no one, not even a woman, whether she is ugly or pretty, or even the prettiest, deserves it, neither is a good excuse to point out that she deserves it. And unfortunately in my country no matter who you are, no matter how you are, all women suffer harassment every day. Men are so perverse....
so long and badly written... hahaha sorry, i don't speak english and i did the best i can. by the way if you made it this far thank you very much for your time!!!
I'm so sick of pretty people telling me to just "not worry about it" like sorry but no, you get showered with compliments and praise, I get bullied. You get called a goddess, and I get called names I cant repeat back to my parents. Everyone wants to be with you, everyone wants to pretend to be with me for a sick joke. Sure, compliments from others dont bring confidence, but it sure doesnt help. And constant beratement for my appearance, constantly getting compliments only to later figure out they were given to me to see if I'd be gullible enough to believe that any single person on this planet may find me attractive, sure doesnt help my confidence.
It isn't there fault they are pretty it is the people. If you are frustrated by the system change the way you look at yourself, treat yourself with respect don't call yourself any kind of bad names . I know being pretty is excellent I'm surrounded by extremely beautiful women most being family I know how it feels to be stepped on and ignored. But the body and face your soul lives in is your home for life if you don't respect it no one will . I have simply accepted the fact being pretty is nice and I know no matter how hard I try I cannot be the way they are. I also like if anyone in life likes me it's not for shallow compliments like hair/ face /nose which will fade with time ,if no one likes me it is also good because I don't wanna be with someone who just sees the looks . Life is being content with whatever you have work on goals big or small be a good person and treat everyone equally. I'm sorry for venting but you said hit me personally so wanted to share my thoughts too. And a person who only compliments or helps pretty people isn't a good person at all you shouldn't strive for their attention because it is there only because pretty people offer them something lustful .
@@studydesign2071 I never said it was their "fault" that they're pretty, I said it's stupid for pretty people to constantly tell everyone to just "not worry about it" as if that actually helps anyone. It's like when people tell depressed people to "take* a walk*" or "drink some water". The way pretty people are treated makes life vastly more comfortable for them while the way that I am treated as an ugly people literally gives me trauma. Theres more to it than just confidence, the way other people treat you plays a huge role in your life. I dont care about getting the attention of people who only ever care about pretty people either, I'm just saying what I already said above.
I get your frustration, but what is it you plan to do? Complain? Would you prefer they told you to get cosmetic procedures done? I think that would offend even more. All you can do is not worry about it to have any chance at life. Or be willing to drop money on changing your physical being, which is probably not a good idea either. You don't have to get upset because you don't have to put yourself in situations where you need a "pretty" person to tell you how to cope with a serious issue in your life.
@@MonetAllDay I'm not saying pretty people have to barge my door down and give me free plastic surgery and teach me how to do my makeup and give me good clothes and force me to stick to a diet. I'm just saying that saying "dont worry about it" does nothing to help with anything. Telling someone to not worry about something has never made them less worried. A little recognition that it's a more serious problem would be nice.
@@auggiemain It sounds like the problem is that you think they aren't listening to you when you express yourself. Sounds like you just want them to hear you and not dismiss it. Which I get that.... but what exactly do you expect them to say that would help? I legitimately want to know what they could say that IS helpful. It's also fine if the answer is that you don't want them to say anything and just listen. But it also sounds like you're expecting some kind of feedback or helpful advice. What exactly would that be?? Again not saying you're for sure seeking that, it's just an observation.
And I never said anything about them having to make you pretty through all their wisdom and talent lol. I said what would you rather them tell you? To build your confidence and go on with life (easier said than done) or take more drastic measures to actually change your physical appearance (also easier said than done)? There is no good answer on what you should do.
The model saying models are the most insecure lacks perspective. They can't be more insecure than people who would rather die than remove their clothes or pose in front of a camera. They may feel insecure and hyper-aware of their looks but they know that they're physically accepted enough on some level to cash in on their appearance.
invalidating someone's insecurities because you think they're pretty or socially acceptable will not make them any less insecure.
it's like telling a mentally ill person to stop being mentally ill because you think they're doing better than people at mental hospitals.
models are more exposed to being judged, criticized. not only by the press, the people, their managers, but also by themselves.
"i weigh more than last week"
"i couldn't do my workout today"
"why do i look fatter?"
"why do i look like a skeleton?"
"my agency's gonna kill me if they found out i ate this"
@@chemicallycalm5878 I'm not invalidating them by acknowledging perspective. I get hungry, but I would never claim I was the hungriest person in the world unless I was joking. I'm self-aware enough to know there are people starving in third world countries. If you get paid to look good, you are aware your physical attributes are favorable and it's ridiculous to claim models are THE MOST physically insecure. Maybe they think about it more based on their job, but that's a choice. Whatever career you have, you will be self-critical of your work.
@@briterry4961 YES you worded it perfectly !!!
@@briterry4961 As someone who is getting into modeling this really irks me. Most models know that they are attractive relative to the average joe but that's not where they're insecurities lies. The average person have a standard for how they want to look and what they deem as acceptable and those tend to be pretty achievable. But when your livelyhood depends on the way you look and whether or not you can put food on the table you start to care alot more about your looks. The standards that the industry requires these days is insane and we are usually insecure about features that are immutable. You can lose get a lower body fat percentage but trying to maintain 9% isn't what most average poeple are thinking of when they try to lose weight. Add to that insecurities such as the way your cheekbones look or the way your nose looks are things that can't easily be fixed without surgery. What most people don't realize is that models aren't insecure that they don't look good relative to the general population, they are insecure that they don't meet the unreasonably high industry standards.
@@aminyapussi4740 You don't think non-models feel pressure to meet "unreasonably high industry standards" too? Do you know how popular plastic surgery and body modification is these days? Everyone wants to be an Instagram model. Traditional modeling isn't even the standard anymore. You're making the decision to pursue that career and subject yourself to those insecurities. Many people won't leave their house, because they get bullied over their appearance and don't have a choice. I don't doubt you're insecure, but have some perspective. The modeling industry is not representative of the whole world.
lets talk about how a lot of pretty privilege is mainly being skinny 🤡🤡🤡🤡 you could be pretty but not being skinny automatically makes you less prettier
Makeup , clothes and hair style with a nice body is equal to being born with a pretty face.
@@catmerchant8699 Yupp pretty much its not even about a pretty face anymore because even that is attainable with enough £££££
My story about that here, so I'm really short, below 5'0 at 16 and I'm curvy so I just end up looking like the wide putin meme, I'm fit, I have a toned belly but my thighs and curves make me look fat and people did say I have a pretty face but just because I appear fat I've been bullied about it
It makes me jealous how the west loves curvy girls but my country doesn't
People say I roll around like a ball to demean me but tbh I've learnt that people aren't satisfied with anything
@@sazaaaam yupp same with u right here I'm 5'0/ 5'1 so even though I weigh the average as girls who are 5'3 - 5'7 I'll never be skinny. Plus it's so easy to look like you gained weight when you're short you can literally never win 🤡🤡🤡🤡 I currently live in the West after previously living in Southeast Asia which is generally such a fatphobic society. And yes people here like that I'm curvey/'thick', it's considered 'hot', and while I don't see it in myself, I've started to see it in others and my perception of beauty has improved. However, overall society as a whole STILL mainly rewards skinniness regardless of peoples different genetic makeup.
Kat from euphoria is attractive and she is plus sized
This is the reason why I’ve always hated the phrase “someone else’s beauty doesn’t make you less beautiful” (or something like that), when in reality, that’s exactly what it does in society’s perspective.
If you are not conventionally attractive, you ARE considered less than those who do fit into that conformity. It quite literally makes you viewed as “less beautiful” and it makes me so sick and sad to think about.
I’ve seen plenty of pretty privilege in my workplace too and omfg is it real and boy does it SUCK because some of those people are the most narcissistic, manipulative (literally life-changing horrible) people I’ve had the displeasure of knowing, and they get chance after chance year after year because the boss thinks they’re just too pretty.
Being unattractive basically made me invisible to other ppl , it's so painful to love yourself when you feel like not pretty enough. Like my classmates I never experienced to be someone's crush or anyone's priority, not even in a friendship. Love and other lovely things just belong to pretty ppl, they easily get the things which unattractive ppl like us ever dreamt of.
😢 true my only goal is to be rich
Its rare to find people genuinely have connection with them..usually they lonely..most of time been taken advantages off..bcs most people think we easily get "thing"like only them struggle we dont..i eat you eat,you live i live,you die i die too..the different was people didnt felt grateful of what they have.Usually people who have wealth,title,etc..their circle usually very small..what do you guys think the reason was?
@@victoriaanike2451 same. I dont even care about men if they find me attrative or not, i want to eat good food, own a house and travel😅
I had a client who was drop dead gorgeous. She was hit on by men aggressively. It got exhausting for her. These men felt like if they summoned the courage to talk to her, she owed them her attention and they got angry if she asked them to bug off.
Rather that then being treated less than human bcus I don't possess great genes
@@nkululekompanza9682 You do realise what op stated is also bejng treated less than human? She's being treated like a prize or object, not a person
because in a man’s eyes, she is seen as “fuckable”.
@@hollowwoods7130 she's suffering from success not from being inadequate and she's not being treated as less than, she's just seen as the prize and as above average and is treated as above average not as an object,rejction hurts so ppl take it badly since it seems as a personal attack ,not trying to justify since they still dont posses that right,but saying she gets treated less human for good looks in a safe environment is absurd
@@queenieb7378 nah she's just pretty thus she obtains the benefits and downsides of that,all women can get someone to sleep with em but its not the same for men thou I do agree that they should not act in this way in the face of rejection from a pretty individual
in middle school i used to be considered the “ugly” friend, had ugly pimples, ugly glasses, really did not try with my appearance, just threw whatever on. boys used to treat me horribly just because of the way i looked but then when they would talk to my other friends they would treat them so nicely, it really brought down my self confidence. im a junior in highschool now and you could say i had a glow up.. it’s just so different now. boys treat me nicely and ive had people say they like me.. have had free stuff just for being considered “pretty” so ive been able to see both sides of the spectrum and it really sucks to say it exists and i dont know if it will be going away any time soon and it sucks
Wow I have gone through the same thing as you. Although I was conventionally cute as a kid, when puberty hit, I got many pimples on my face, gained weight and wore glasses. Back then I didn’t care about how I look so I was often called “ugly” by boys in middle school. When I glowed up in high school and college, I’m suddenly the “pretty” girl in the group. I’m often praised for looking pretty and all that…I also don’t get looked down or mocked by boys anymore. But deep down inside, I’m still very insecure because I’m scared if I’m not pretty anymore, people will treat me badly like in the past. It definitely sucks tbh. I wish people don’t bully others for appearance because that can damage someone’s self esteem permanently. I experience both sides of the spectrum so I can feel the pros and cons of both of them. But being pretty will not stop you from being insecure. It might help a bit but not much. I have friends who aren’t considered conventionally attractive but they are so confident in their own skin that I envy them. Anyway, long story short, key thing is confidence. If you have confidence, no one can make you feel bad about yourself
Consider this - do YOU treat the boys you like better than the ones you dont care about? But be real honest about it. Now think about how the buys that you like look like. Are they ugly? Shorter than you? Pimples on their face?
Ive been through that too :(
Welp thats me rn in middle school 😔.
Girl this is my exact same story- word for word exact!! thing is bc of my race it kinda takes away from it but still, middle school sucked but now? it’s a lot better but the downside is that people feel entitled to me and think I owe them something for purely existing. No matter what I look like I’m never really treated as a human with feelings and emotions- people used to see me as ugly now they see me as exotic.. I wonder how it’ll be when I get older :/
People complaining about the "burden" of prettiness rly piss me off. I understand it's not all that perfect but nothing is. Being pretty is still objectively better than not being pretty. End of story.
@@AS-so8dh "your"?
@@creamer_beamer I know I would give up everything and anything to be dead drop gorgeous girl which unimaginable beauty
As a pretty girl, agreed. I'm still insecure sometimes, but it is still better than being unattractive.
I used to be unattractive but got my glow up.
When I was unattractive I was always ignored, not taken seriously and laughed at. I barely had friends at all.
Now that I'm pretty, everybody is suddely super nice to me & they always help me.
I hate it. Why couldn't they do that when I wasn't attractive?
@@flrxzzz9875 unfortunately that's how shallow society and people are. But hey I'd rather have this problems than be ugly right
@@thecandycat5889 No no, "people in Africa" is a very bad analogy. More accurate one would be a rich person crying and complaining to a poor person about how their butler messed up their supper. It's completely out of touch with reality.
I feel that this privilege only applies to people who seem more shy and soft. But if you're really pretty but seem to always set your ground, people won't see you the same
yes! i experienced this just a few weeks ago and it was insane for me. I have always been a tall big girl, confident in myself and with a bold personality. This year i suffered from depression and anxiety, so my whole personality shifted,; i secluded myself in my own house for months. I also ended up losing weight due to depression so when i started to go out with friends and taking care of myself again, i looked and acted very different. I became super self conscious and shy in public and with strangers; I was in a very sensitive state of mind, so everything from my mannerisms, to the way i acted where really soft and delicate.
I started noticing that the male waiters were so much nicer, people invited me sweets or gave me free drinks. When i asked why, they simply told me because i looked cute or fragile. Im still in shock because i honestly felt really bad hahaha I was emotionally struggling all this time and people liked it because i was shy, soft and delicate.
Idk, its kinda complicated. Why would you go all the way out to comfort someone who looks like they feel comfortable and chill with their environment aka in their zone.
I think its came naturally for people to try to comfort someone who looks 'uncomfortable'. Well, usually people associate shy with uncomfortable.
Definitely feel this way. I would consider myself pretty but I dont get the same treatment as the people in the video. Im often told I come as standoffish/mean or haughty on first look so I guess that makes sense why I dont get free things.
Not really, well at least in my experience, I knew pretty ppl who were assholes but people still loved them
that is so true because I remember when it was the start of a new year at school, at the beginning I was shy and soft and everyone was talking to me, boys where suuuper nice to me even doing things for me as hold the door, hold my bag, etc. And then when they got to know me, a very outgoing person, very extravagant, and to quote you "setting my ground" they stopped talking to me and categorized me as a "looser"
It’s wild how people have treated me different based on my weight/how fit I am throughout my life
FR
We're all insecure, but being beautiful can make it so much easier to live with. Let's not act like pretty people should be praised or given a trophy for having the same hardships as non pretty people. Those with pretty privilege make these videos while also benefiting from this system. And if you had the choice to snap your fingers and no longer be pretty. I guarantee you wouldn't. Would you rather be sad and pretty or sad and ugly? Also Trisha is being sarcastic about having pretty privilege.
Pretty people's feelings are no less than average people's feelings.
@@vaisriv True, but their situation is still a privileged one. It's like rich people can be sad, but they're still better off than someone below the poverty line.
@@Caroline-hw9yw And what should they do about it? What exactly can be done?
Sad and ugly of course
You're right and I acknowledge the point you're making because this video literally only used pretty examples while rendering average people invisible. However, that's the inherent problem with any privilege. It's about having power while suffering the consequences of being part of a broken system versus having no power within that same system. Like yes I'd prefer to have power (in this case, beauty is power), but we should really be trying to overturn the system and do away with the pretty versus ugly dichotomy altogether.
When I was in middle school I got into a relationship with this 'popular' guy. I told my friends and they asked if he seriously likes me and the disbelief on their faces was extremely visible. They kept asking if he was serious to like me and kept staring at me. I didn't think what it was all about until now I get that it was because I wasn't pretty..
Sometimes people see how ugly everyones personalities are and that makes average looking people with great personalities thousand times prettier.
Maybe it was because he was 'popular'? Idk tho, maybe you're right.
Or maybe you had good friends that knew how he really was and didn't want you to get hurt
Yeah I’m scared of this happening to me. I like a “popular” ish guy and I’m worried people will make fun of him because I’m ugly lol.
@@yourrejectallamerican everyone’s perspective of beauty is different, he might have some flaws too and that’s okay. As long as you are being genuine and yourself, the ppl making fun of u are the douchebags
As much as you would want this privilege let me tell you how hollow this is , people do not love YOU , no they don't have any care for you, they are just being kind to you because of your body. So whether you are "pretty" or not. Let's not strive for outer beauty and make it something to feel proud about, for our own happiness and freedom from people's opinions- both good and bad. I literally don't care if I achieve less success if I don't look good. I am ready for it, this way all my success would actually be MINE, and I can be proud of it and proud of being strong and becoming a role model for others.
I couldn't have said it better myself. beautifully stated
@@imwatchingyounvmcrusty1698 thank you 😊😊❤
Yass girl beautifully said❤️
Very true!!
How i think about this sometimes is, i now accept myself for being average/not pretty and if i am confident in myself even when im not pretty then my confidence is much stable than say someone who used to be pretty but suddenly become ugly for whatever reason, would they be able to truly accept themselves. Sometimes im just sick of pretty ppl telling me to be confident like hey ya i can easily be confident if i have pretty privilege. So i feel like it’s totally worth the pain of going through being ugly and accepting and loving myself now. But i do have friends who are pretty but also truly accept themselves and I do think they would accept themselves even if they become ugly someday.
Back in college I was really jealous of this other girl in my friend group who was gorgeous. Like she could've easily been a model and had a great sense of fashion and a bubbly personality to boot. As someone who's shy, doesn't really dress up a lot, and feels pretty but knows they're probably pretty average looking I was jealous of how easy it was for her to make friends. She was constantly with people, people always wanted to hang out with her, it seemed as if she just had this magnetic charm that I wanted *so* bad.
We met freshman year and were friends with a lot of the same people (same major) and stayed acquaintances through senior year so I could see how her friendship group changed. I eventually noticed that although she had countless acquaintances she didn't really have any close friends. No tight group that she always got together with every weekend or anything like that. When we studied abroad together she made 2 close friends who (as far as I know) were and still are her only 2 best/really close friends (I'm friends with 1 of them which is how I know). In hindsight I think being pretty enabled her to meet more people but it prevented people from getting close. Even when talking to other friends who had also known her since freshman year, all anyone would have to say about her is: "Oh her? She's so pretty!" Sometimes followed by "and nice!" but still, it was like no one cared who she was as a person just her looks. It made me a lot less jealous of her and a lot more wary of pretty privilege (it definitely exists, and definitely still a little jealous of how easy it is for her to meet people but I also understand that it's probably not a cakewalk for her either).
True but alot of people would rather be remembered as those positive aspects then forgotten
@@nkululekompanza9682 I get what youre saying but to be fair she pretty much was forgotten, nobody would mention her except in the context of listing groups (like groups of people in our major, who were going to a particular event, etc.) If anything I feel like being pretty made her less memorable cuz thats all people remembered about her (as opposed to being remembered for being nice, funny, outgoing, etc)
I don't know how but I know a girl with exact same story as you said.
@@401Sakurayes even if you are pretty , people forget you , beauty is a trend
When I was a teen everybody made sure to let me know that I was unattractive, “friends”, classmates, teachers, even friends of my parents. I went through a few humiliating experiences, so far my teen years have been the worst I have ever felt with myself. I am in my late twenties and I have changed a lot, and now I am “pretty”, and the way people treats me is shocking, my old self would never believe it. When I stared to get “pretty”, most of the same people who made me feel bad where now making sure that I knew how much I changed , I even remembered a friend of my mother, a full grown man, send me a message that said “you look better now”. I will never understand why people feel free to talk about someones looks like it’s nothing, like if those comments aren’t hurtful and can fully affect you for years and if you are not careful, for your whole life.
Honestly its such a bad thing it ruining my mental health im 15 now and as long as i can remember ive felt insecure, amd that is because of how people treated me when i was 10-13 now all i can think about rn is a way to get prettier its fuckedd up. I wrote this cus i felt like i could relate to that teen part u wrote
same dilemma for me...to the point where i get angry when i receive compliments and shit
Same happened with me, I was not a pretty teen & struggled a lot with self image, I did not let people bully me but I used to Hate myself, I wrote literally books about how unfortunate I am cause I did not win the genetic lottery, I'm not skinny as my whole family & I struggle with weight loss & stuff. But as I grew older I start to think like whatever let people think whatever they want.. I do not care.
One of the reasons I started dressing up back in 8th grade, wasn’t because “school is a fashion show” but because I knew no matter what, people will judge you off your appearance. One of the main reasons on why someone who doesn’t seem that good looking, but still have a ton of friends, is the way that they present themselves. Also the reason why I’m broke on clothing. :)
true
Just sad that average ppl have to try harder to impress others socially
@@getinlouiser2677 Nah it's good. Focusing on just appearances gets old fast for most people actually. I tend to see when attractive people age they get more concerned about finding this out and the need to actually learn how to socialize
fr i feel as though everyone had somewhat of a glow up in 8th at my school since people realised that you are treated better if you look as close as you can get to being conventionally attractive, at least for themselves, but it was also the stage in which people started showing more of who they were with their style and discovering themselves instead of wearing what mummy and daddy liked.
same but it’s skincare and haircare for me
Seeing people in the comments conforting others or themselves by being pretty or '' don't worry you are pretty and worth it'' is even sadder :
(I'm not critizing your kindness) It really shows that it is "not okay" to be ugly or that beauty is the only things that matters... Thanks for reading
ikr, they still make the words 'pretty' and 'beauty' to be a big things for them *sigh* body neutrality movement should become popular already....
So true!!!
Well put,👏👏
The thing is we weren’t meant to see so many pretty people in our lives. Social media changed the way we perceive each other and it’s sets standards too high. If you look on the street I think it would be a challenge to find someone really attractive. Most people are average, it should be special to see someone very attractive walking around in the streets. But social media made it a common thing. I think the problem with most people is accepting that they will never experience the things people with pretty privilege do, it’s a harsh truth that’s gets sugarcoated a lot of the time.
@@caitlink absolutely true! Our perception has changed
“Just don’t focus on looks”
Good advice, but not really realistic in this society that is primary focused on them. It’s easy to say it but actually doing it is a whole different matter.
I'd take pretty privilege as shallow as it is, your actual talents, smarts and wits, often 'surprise' people, even giving you extra credit. You are then the 'whole package'. As much as it is shit that people assume you to be as shallow/dense/egoistic as they clearly are,
I'd take that any day over being treated as ugly, being bullied for your looks, and if you have no talents or humour or social skills you're basically nothing to people but something to tread all over for them to feel better.
You get more opportunities, more kindness etc being pretty.
And part of 'pretty privilege' is not even caring or thinking about being treated the way ugly people are. You can hate pretty privilege all you like. But nobody hates it as much as ugly people. They get treated like absolute garbage.
This is almost like complaining about skinny privilege.
Would you rather wake up one day ugly? No, you wouldn't.
Fair enough but based off my observations a lot of the time ppl who are pretty and talented are disregarded bc they could simply just marry a rich person but yeah I'd choose being pretty over being ugly
@@somerealthotgirlshii7075 but that's not actually disregarding their talent, if anything that is merely pointing out the fact that they are making effort they don't need to make, I.e, extra credit
Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. I think lots of the defensiveness in this comment section comes from people who feel like they're being vilified for having an easier time of it, so they're pushing back by talking about their personal issues with "being pretty". I don't think this makes them bad people, or invalidates the fact that they've had struggles in life, but it does create this weird sort of tension between people talking about their experiences in comparison with each other in a slightly passive-aggressive way.
I feel like if we were able to actually listen and respond with understanding for each other's experiences, this comment section would be a lot more supportive and a lot less judgemental/defensive on both sides of the spectrum. Lots of people here are talking about very personal and painful stories so to see this potential opportunity for empathy and genuine support slip by is very disappointing. :(
@@enajem 100% agree you worded that so well
@@Maria-up2yv Aw thanks :)
I’ve caught myself falling into the trap of pretty privilege. By this I mean that one day this summer I was volunteering at a care home and a woman who comes to do daily activities with the residents had just arrived. This was the first time I saw her and the first thing I noticed is she was insanely gorgeous. Like pretty beyond belief. Anyways, she also has a very big personality and is very outgoing. It kind of annoyed me a bit as an introverted person (because I’m not use to being around veryyy extroverted people) but I just brushed it off as a “Oh she just must be extroverted, she’s not annoying.” Then a few months later I looked back and realized… what if she wasn’t attractive to me? Would she still just be outgoing and extroverted? Or would she be annoying and unnecessarily loud? I felt so ashamed of myself after I realized that.
I know lots of 'ugly' people who are extroverted and loud. United Kingdom is basically full of them. Go to any council estate and you will see fat shapeless women wearing mini skirts and talking and laughing loudly. I have nothing against extrovert people, actually I bit envy them. I also knew really pretty girls who were introverts. My point is you can be good looking and still shy but also unattractive and the same time really outgoing. It's more depends about your brain chemistry. Around 20 years ago I started to take anti-depressants and they made me extroverted and easy-going. When I stop the medication I soon revert back to my original quiet persona.
@@marthas.4456 Only the women lol
Zoe's videos are so different and interesting I love them
me too
When I was anorexic, people treated me like it was my birthday every day. Then I recovered and gained 50 lbs due to medical treatments. Now I’m losing weight healthily and people are treating me differently again.
When I was younger (from 15 to 19 years old) I used to look quite pretty, but when I turned 20 my bone structures started to thicken and took lesser care of myself, the way people treated me changed drastically. It hurts, but it makes me see for myself who is truly genuine and who isn't, so it's not all bad.
The thing that affects people most is how differently people treat you whether you go from pretty to ugly or ugly to pretty.
The things they say, the way they look at you. But it is comforting, that there are people who’ll see past how we or others look.
The fact that it’s so me when I was 14-13 I used to be pretty very pretty people were even saying that to me but with the virus and when I turned 15 I began to gain weight and my eyes change people were telling me that I changed some are telling me that I’m ugly now others are not
I had a similar situation, but reversed. I used to be a bit overweight and didn't take much care of my face or hair, no makeup age 15-19. I lost some weight because of depression, started to take care of my skin and oh maaaan, people's attitude changed drastically. Suddenly I became more interesting and desirable for everyone.
As someone who was considered ugly for most of my life (having more than average body hair, big nose and no lips, oily hair, way too skinny) and glowed up in 2020, I can confirm that pretty privilege IS real and it's heartbreaking. In 8th grade I used to be the girl nobody talked to, was made fun of, I was even exposed to bullying at that time. And now I'm in 10th, getting compliments on my appearance, free stuff when I don't have money, confessions from ex crushes and getting asked out for hangouts with the popular kids. I'm not saying it's bad, but it's just sad that I wasn't given the same attention when I was unattractive, and the difference in how people have treated me in both the stages is so...different. And based on my experience, I'm disappointed on how people just treat attractive people better. And I've just realised that I was never insecure before, dysphoria has hit me just when I glowed up, and honestly, I'd rather stay as the old me.
The old you is the new you - I'm just sorry they never noticed how awesome you are. I hope you can make peace with yourself even if others disappoint you.
What did you do differently to become pretty?
@@luminescentfruit6943 idk I just started washing my face before sleeping, before puberty I used to look like my dad and now I look like my mom so ig it's just genetics
@@ay4sh1 I’m so sorry they never realized how awesome u are !!
Just try to look average as possible so you can get genuine or sincere friends. The more pretty a girl is the more other girls may envy you or hate you for whatever reason. Plus bring average is best, lesser creeps and unwanted attention
This is so so so real, I was overweight my entire life so I was the fat ugly shy brown girl, then I lost all the weight and people started being actually nice to me, even my family who were always really mean.
But then I also live in a very racist country so the compliments always go like "you're pretty for a dark skinned girl" "you're pretty, it's a shame you're so dark"
If that’s you on your profile, you are beautiful and so is your skin tone. I always found darker skin pretty. Not saying light skin isn’t. I have light skin myself. My mom has darker skin and I guess that had a lot of influence on what I like because I always found my mom beautiful
@@march9177 thank you for saying that, you're very kind. I do love my skin, it shows my indigenous lineage ❤️ sadly not a lot of people appreciate it 🤷
Backhanded compliments sucks
You're pretty, it's a shame you're so dark ' ..wow!!! What a terrible thing to say to someone!! It is not a compliment. I also hate people telling me ' you are so beautiful for an Algerian ' I hate that honestly!
Food for thought:
There was this post that was really famous going around online. It's about an overweight person who had lost weight. She told the people close to her that they're only nicer to her because she lost weight, but they said it isn't that. They said that her whole demeanor changed, she isn't insecure and feel like a constant downer. She's more confident and lively and fun to be around with. So at the end, it was more of a confidence issue.
It may or may not apply. But I think pretty privilege is a trend because of tiktok, but not necessarily a real issue with significant impact
"Looks and trends come and go, but confidence is always on style."
i'll try to remember this everyday
As much as I agree about the downfalls of focusing on appearance, I think the dangers of pretty privilege to the pretty individual pales in comparison to the effects on career, wages, etc, for those that do not have that privilege, especially when compounded with intersectional factors, race, disability, sexuality, gender, etc.
Money itself even effects beauty. The money and time to do your makeup, buy nicely tailored clothes, pay for good haircuts, even get plastic surgery. It’s the whole “you’re not ugly, you’re just poor” thing. And it’s crazy how true it is.
Completely agree. I feel like even in discussions about pretty privilege, ironically people still only focus on attractive individuals and the problems they face because of it. Realistically though, the biggest victim by far is people who don't have pretty privilege. That should go without saying but I guess not...it's like talking about white privilege and only how it affects white people. Ridiculous
yeah, the struggles of people without privilege is WORLDS away from the struggle of privileged people. ofc, the privileged are still entitled to their feelings and their problems are just as valid, but you just can’t compare the two side by side
Race isn’t really a thing when you have pretty privilege. A pretty ethnic woman will get promoted/favored over an unattractive non-ethnic woman.
Word
Please, don’t ever fucking say beauty isn’t important when your life could be easier or harder just because of something like the way you look. There’s more than enough evidence to support that your life can be affected based on how you look.
I love the fact that Zoe put the neon demon scenes in the video, is just accurate.
Pretty privilege reminds me of a quote i saw once;
"Beauty is nothing more than a monster. A monster we use to judge others for."
Please just say it. You have pretty privilege. It's not because "you're a young girl," it's because you're pretty. Ugly girls, young or old don't get the same treatment that the pretty ones do. Please don't beat around the bush, just say it.
ikr. and i hate seeing these privelaged people COMPLAIN about it. like, shut up we have the same struggles but way worse and it is because we are ugly. you know you have pretty privelage when you complain about your looks.
@@tinkerbelle1763 Where did she complain about her own looks? Where. You know exactly what she means, don't act simple.
@@tinkerbelle1763 She is stating that, not complaining about her own features, do you know how to read? She is making a clear comparison between being beautiful vs. ugly. It's ok, we all have smooth brain moments, no need to keep crying about it.
@@tinkerbelle1763 Okay, I hear you. However, you completely missed the point she was trying to make. It's not about her being beautiful or ugly, it's about the proven fact that being more attractive gains you "extra points," in life, and it sucks to hear beautiful people complain about their insecurities as if they should be put on an even higher pedestal than they already are. It's obnoxious because they are always praised simply for existing, and then they turn around and use their voice to try and relate to less attractive people by saying, "I am also insecure." It just comes off as extremely disingenuous, and out of touch. Beautiful people will never know what it's like to be ugly from childhood and on. It's a completely different experience, it's more than just being "insecure." It shapes your reality, the people you can mingle with, the job you have etc... Beautiful people just don't understand it, and that's ok. I just wish they'd stop trying so hard to pretend they relate to less attractive people. Just accept your beauty and move on.
@@tinkerbelle1763 That's not what I mean. I am saying whether you feel beautiful, ugly, insecure does not matter. Regardless of how you feel, if you are beautiful you will be treated better by society, vs if you are ugly. You have more opportunities, access to more benefits, and social connections if you are beautiful. It does not matter how you feel because this is a fact. It doesn't matter if the beautiful girl thinks she isn't pretty enough, because she will still be treated better than an average or ugly person, regardless of how she feels, or how much she complains. It makes no difference, beautiful people still have it much much easier. It's much more difficult to cope with physical insecurities when you are actually ugly, because people don't even pay you any mind. They don't want to help you, and they revel in your suffering. Because you are ugly you deserve it. That's how the world works. So yes, it is very annoying when an already highly privileged group of people cry about the woes of their privilege when they know they'd never give it up if given the chance.
I’m a brown person and I was waiting for my mum outside the shops once…. These two little girls came up to me and stared at me and then asked my why i was so ugly…. I was already super insecure abt my looks and my skin colour so when these kids said that to me I felt rlly hurt 😞😞… I understand that they were little kids but still I kinda felt like slapping them
There was another instance when these other two kids were staring at me and I heard them whisper…. “Ewwww she’s so ugly”…. This made me even more insecure and I even ended up screaming at the kids (I kinda regret that since they probably didn’t understand what they were saying)
If this has happened to u before remember that u r beautiful and that people don’t know what they r talking abt
you did the right thing by screaming, i'd be mad as hell if someone said that to my face whether they are kids or not. you're beautiful, brown skin is beautiful.
I am a white person n i love ur skin n u are gorgeous
Is this in india?
@@user-hf6cd7bc7t No this happened in Australia
@@hello7377 thank u ☺️, it means a lot to me that u say that
I'm french and a few months ago there had been a small outrage after a famous french music producer went on radio and ranted that female singers aren't pretty enough these days. He said that Angèle was great and very cute while Hoshi "looked terrifying, nobody would want her on a poster in their room". We have become obsessed with people's looks so much that most famous singers / actors today are not only good at their job, they're also good looking. They absolutely have to be.
the truth is - there are so many people that want to be actors and singers - that you could just take the ones that are both talented/pretty.
@@alexforce9 Exactly. Because we're obsessed with beauty
yes as an actress, at first i never realized the importance pretty privilege has on your success. you have to have something other than average or you will not succeed enough to keep you going. i used to wear blue contacts all the time + do my eyebrows really nice and immediately i got signed to an agency. the other time i wore no contacts, just my dark brown eyes and no other difference but i did not get any callbacks at all. just that slight difference in eye color made all the difference. i’m still choosing my natural color though over fake lenses.
i am so obsessed with my weight and looking "pretty" because I feel that I have a boring personality and am quite shy, and I feel like looks are the only way I could make people like me a little more and at least not think that I'm weird. I hate this mentality and I wish I could do more work on myself instead of putting all the pressure on looking "pretty"
I think you being aware of your situation is a good first step to seeing things in a different way. You can't change something right away even if you want to. Instead maybe try to reassess some of your actions and reflect on them. Just giving you my 2 cents cause I think I sometimes find myself in a similar but not identical situation
I feel the same way. My personality is very bland, and I can’t fix that at all. I mean, how does one become more interesting to be around?? I remember always being told growing up that you can always change how you look, but you can’t change who you are and that always devastated me because I don’t like who I am. The worst part about it is that it’s true. There are so many exercises and diets out there that can improve my physical attractiveness, but there’s not much available to change my boring traits.
I remember how people would always say that “pretty people are boring” because they never had to work on their social prowess to get attention from others, they always got it for free. But I’m the proof that you can be boring and plain-looking at the same time.
@@fakeituntilkingdomcome I'd say you're being pretty narrow-minded. It's a subjective thing, there will be people who'd love to talk to you about random things even if it;'s not most of people. Plus, just doing your own 'boring' stuff can be interesting to others. You're really limiting yourself to this idea of being 'plain and boring'. It's a nice thing to be likeable to other people but it's not when you try to accommodate yourself to others - is what i think
Honestly I feel this! Like I have a solid amount of anxiety and it comes out in ways with my bf. Even though he is very supportive I often can’t help thinking damn I have to be hot enough to be this messed up or I gotta be hotter/skinner/etc to make up for how fucked up I am.
If you go in this path, you will only attract people you will never want in your life, those who are only with you because of your looks. Remember that your looks fade one day. When you will be 40 years old or so, you will be invisible, you will start getting grey hairs and wrinkles, your looks will vanish.
Why not work on your personality? Start seeking knowledge that feeds your soul and character.
I hope you get rid of this mindset stranger, surely when you will be older, you will think that what you did was stupid and you only attracted peopple who are with you for your looks, making you an object. You will say, I could've spent that time learning and teaching myself new things.
I am the fugly friend of the group, and the amount of times I witnessed vendors giving my friends discounts or even offering them foods and items, is immeasurable.
yeah it really sucks :(
> You only talked about girls, and indeed there is a lot of things that revolve around women and women in media, advertising etc, but I think that pretty privilege for guys is also a thing! oliSUNvia made a video about it, where she talks about how pretty skinny guys look fashionable and even more pretty with clothes that would seem like casual/pajamas to 'normal/average/ugly people'. It's not exactly the point of her video, but it touches this topic. Here is the link, if you're interested: ua-cam.com/video/DA2PqBAyGqI/v-deo.html&pp=ugMICgJmchABGAE%3D
> Specifically regarding this video and the clips you showed, I'd say that sometimes it's more skinny privilege than pretty privilege, or that it would have been important to precise that slimness has a big role in it. Many of the women say that they experienced pretty privilege after losing weight. It sure plays a role in beauty standards, but it made me think of something else: losing weight, they also gained confidence, and made choices that made them prettier, or that fitted into beauty standards (for example, the blond hair really suits the 05:14 girl! and it's a common thing)
> Although I totally agree with your conclusion, I think it's quite hard to apply it, because the halo effect isn't something conscious (obviously), and we don't realise that we judge someone better because he's pretty. But I totally agree that we need to aknowledge it to start or try to step out of it. It makes me think of Kant and his "Analytic of the Beautiful" (in the Critique of Jugement), where he explains that when we find something beautiful, our faculties are desinterested; I couldn't explain it very well, but our attraction to beautiful (things or people) is natural, so it's hard to stop it.
> Regarding Kris Wu, I think it also has to do with the parasocial relationship that the artist and the fans built over his career; because of his looks, of course, but also because of his music, his shows, his interviews, etc, and how much they spent time supporting him, they don't realise that they don't know him as a person; it's not because he's your favourite singer that he's innocent. But I absolutely agree about your point; recently, videos have been made about Tik Tok killers that were so pretty that people couldn't believe they killed or even harmed someone and even made PETITIONS to free them... without knowing them, without caring about the evidence, the families of the victims, etc. Totally disconnected from reality.
If you arrived to this point, congrats for your bravery and thank you for taking the time to read this doorstop! Feel free to give me your opinion, whether you agree or disagree :)
She mainly focused on girls because she used the well known example of Ted Bundy (and like you mentioned, Kris Wu), but it would've been nice to see some examples of regular guys in the same position because they definitely exist. I also agree that slimness and to an even greater extent youth play a big part in pretty privilege as well because youth is put on a pedestal in almost every country.
At first I was the pretty girl that everyone wanted to be, and they told me so... And I felt great with these compliments.
But after I became disabled, everyone is like "oh what a shame, such a pretty girl being like this", it felt like they took away what I was supposed to be, and no matter how pretty I was or tried to be, it wasn't going to be enough to counter "the problem". I was no longer pretty even so my face or body never change, i was just sitting on a chair.
I'm really sorry about that. Such thoughts and perspectives are WRONG. Please don't listen to them.
And this is why incels are always correct
My experience is I didn’t get voted to be the chairman in on of my school organization even though I did all the work like mural painting and had to give speech every school’s assembly because everyone in the organization was 'too scared' to stand in front. In the end, the 'prettier and popular' girl got the position and I still had to do all the works… (but I got the best award at the end of the year) Pretty privilege is real.
just a story of mine...during my teenage years i was kinda nerd ,not into fashion or makeup say i wasn't good at it...but after some years i started to have some glow up and all of a sudden people who used to not like started talking to me so yeah i do believe pretty privilege exist...but on the other hand my downside was that some of my friends started to get threatened by me which i feel like it's not their fault
If they feel “ threatened” by you then, I don’t think they’re you’re friends. They probably felt confident when you didn’t have a glow up.
mmm u should talk to your friends and tell them that they dont have anything to be threatened about and that if they're your real friends, they wont be jealous/act on their jealousy
@@fuwarinfluffy8982 sometimes i feels like they will judge me for things i like and will never credit me for the things i do say regardless of whatever i do for them they'll mention all of my drawbacks most of the time so yeah!! thinking of cutting that person off
@@userm180 i would absolutely love to only if they were not complicated to talk this thing ...i mean they don't even acknowledge the things they say or do to me they're just like give me that judgment most of the time
@@icouldntthinkofanyname522 can u make some other friends then?
There are also people who are mean to you if you’re good looking. People will point out your flaws to “put you in your place”. Think about how heavily celebrities are judged and put in tabloids if they look fat or age. People will also assume you’re stupid or shallow so you have to try harder to be taken seriously.
but deep down we know these people are jealous, which is a win in my book. negative or positive, it is still attention.
I had a ex friend do this to me I never said I was pretty ever and she just came out of nowhere and said I know what this girl has that's pretty than you her eyes... like ok but what was the reason
That’s true snoozilla, I’ve had people be unnecessarily mean to me in work settings, possibly because they assume I’m always treated extremely well, I’m not sure
i agree with tis, ive had girls be extremely mean to me just bc im pretty. like ive had friends point out tiny things that made me insecure for no reason. the most ridiculous one (now looking back) was when an ex best friend told me "well you have red hair, guys like blonde better sooo" i then got so insecure abt it that i dyed my hair brown and suddenly everyone else was like "whyd you dye your hair? your natural color was so beautiful and unique" but also many people think that pretty girls get guys easier and its not necessarily true. guys are often rude to me if i turn them down bc i can tell from a guy who genuinely wants to get to know me from a guy wanting to sleepwith me. and when i turn down the shallow guys they get so rude. being prety isnt everything. especially if you have no personality or are dumb. i used to be ugly and as pretty privilege exists, i do miss when guys would hit on me bc they liked me for me, not for how i look.
@@head0fmob idk why everyone wants others to be jealous of them so badly. That negativity weighs you down and still you're told "oh well you're pretty so you can deal with it." Yeah I was in an abusive friendship for 10 years with this extremely jealous girl. She was controlling and never let me branch out to talk to anyone. I would have had more friends and a much more fun life so far if it wasn't for jealousy. My social anxiety probably wouldn't have been so bad either. I'd rather get no attention than get negative attention
I feel that having “pretty privilege” is a double edge sword. Sure you get compliments and all that crap, but I feel that some people might see you differently than how you actually are. I don’t want to admit that I have this “privilege” cause I’m pretty average at best, but I noticed this when I started dating in my late teens through 20s when I was out of that ugly stage (I guess). Guys would be nicer to me even though I was still the same person. But the minute they got to know me and not see me as this “perfect girl”, and instead someone who has a lot of flaws, they bounce. Because of this, I felt really insecure for not meeting anyone’s expectations (overthinking and all that)
Before I used to like the attention, but now that I’m older, the only thing that I care about is loving myself and having self worth. Pretty privilege can be a thing, but it’s up to anyone, “ugly” or “pretty”, to find that confidence within themselves. Fuck what society says and learn how to love yourself.
The worst part is when your with your prettier friend and people act like your invisible.
when i am by myself, i can enjoy pretty privilege. i'm not ugly, but when i'm out with my best friend who looks like a model, guys will ignore me. they won't even look at me. if you know what to expect, you'll be cool with it. just sit back, and tell your friend not to forget you when someone buys her a drink! LOL. of course, some dude will also try to be nice to you to get close to her, but that's life.
Bc you & your friends are aII subhooman
I seriously love how she addresses these topics that barely anybody wants to talk about at such a relatable level
Watch Salem Tovar. She makes these type of videos and has made one on “pretty privilege” in the past
I like this video too but you can’t say this.... there are TONS of UA-cam videos about this topic, and most of this video is made up of tik toks of people talking about this topic
Literally everyone has been talking about this! And a new wave of pretty privilege videos are coming out now Bc of that saweetie doing another horrible performance
My mom was a dark mestiza. She was constantly told almost daily by strangers on first meeting she was beautiful. That was the first thing out of their mouths when they saw her and introduced to her. Constantly. And being told she is one of the most beautiful women they ever seen or they could not imagine a more prettier woman. Even when she died, that is what everyone said, that she was such a pretty lady. That's what she was remembered for. Race and color has nothing to do with it. It was both Hispanic and whites who constantly told her. And extremely naturally beautiful women don't see themselves as beauties despite everyone telling them. I looked like a menonite girl when I was young and they ignored the hell out of me but sang praises to her
Now I'm curious to see how your mother looked like
@@stefanysoares385 Think a darker and more innocent looking (sweeter eyes) Jackyln Smith from Charlie's Angels. Yes, complete with that fabulous bone structure with prominent cheekbones, wavy black hair and incredible figure. In fact, she was even more beautiful than Jacklyn and never aged physically.
@@asturiasceltic3183 ok that seems very pretty
Race and color has A LOT to do with it. Your mom’s experience (which some women do also have) doesn’t negate the fact that many cultures uplift whiteness as the standard of beauty, especially for women. If your mom resembles Jaclyn Smith, then she must be a whiter looking mestiza. So her skin color wouldn’t matter as much compared to someone who looks less white.
@@chiiix33 No, my mom was very very dark. See you are a colorist and focus on people's coloring toooo much. People can look alike and be two different color schemes and even races, you know
Did you all know this pretty privilege would also be applied to babies and animals too?? People would most likely treat a good looking baby better. Like this is so messed up in the core
For real. Like babies 👶
i am giving cat's priviledge everyday, I would rather caress a cat then a dog.
@@Soundeagle3456but dogs are cute too. I think cats and dogs are on the same cuteness level there could be less cute dogs and cats. Not that cats are cuter than dogs. Many people infact say otherwise (I love cats and dogs both)
As a guy I can definitely say the way I've been treated by strangers and even by friends has changed since I "glowed up." I was always a slightly-below-average looking guy and the way people interacted with me reflected that. The friends I had were meaner, strangers weren't so willing to talk to me or help me, it was harder to get girls interested in me, no one really ever asked me to go to parties or clubs, no one took me seriously, etc.
Fast forward to now and I've began working out, taking better care of my skin and my hair, grew into my face a bit more, grew some facial hair and I've noticed the way people interact with me has changed. People are just nicer to you. Strangers started making small talk with me, women started approaching me without me having to do anything, I find it way easier to make friends, people take me way more serious, and a huge one is that people seem way more willing to do favors for you, big or small.
Although it's shallow we can't help it. Attractiveness usually signifies good genetics which will result in good looking offspring. We are naturally nicer to attractive people because we are biologically programmed that way.
Thank you so much for this. It’s especially refreshing to see an Asian woman talking about this, given how highly beauty is valued in our culture.
Beauty is valued highly in every culture around the globe.
I used to go to parties and no one would ask me for a dance while all my friends were asked for it and I just felt so bad...
ikr and the pretty people have the AUDACITY to complain about it!!!!!! like ma’am, this is an uglies only pity party.
As someone who went through a "glow-up" as I got older, I noticed people treat me better than before.
pretty privilege is real. i never even knew how to approach guys (i still dont know lol), and i was obese till 10th grade, had frizzy, damaged hair and unresolved acne issues. by 2021 my skin cleared up, i lost 40 pounds, cleared my skin, started using products that suit my hair and got into my natural hair curl pattern. LET ME TELL YALL guys i thought i could never pull started texting me first??? i have so so many more friends now, old friends who cut me off reapproach me...its like living a different life. i will say tho, i attract more creeps now when im out and all "done up". also, its not just the genetics or weight loss, you need to do your makeup in a way that flatters you, wear clothes that suit your body type and carry yourself with confidence to *really* be perceived as conventionally attractive. i still am a bit overweight and i am losing more weight, but i fear it has become a vicious cycle now, i never feel skinny enough :) but is this far far better than being in my "ugly" phase? yes. i would take getting sexualised and developing an eating disorder over getting isolated and dehumanized any day.
There’s good and bad to everything. These people that hate others for being beautiful think it’s an easy life. No, we still suffer, like dealing with creeps, more likely to be aimed at by those creepy guys and to be harassed, hated for jealousy reasons, and being reduced to only our appearance.
@@catmerchant8699 look, to be atractive and to complain about creeps, is like winning the lottery and complain that you have to carry the heavy bags of money with you. and btw - would you call those men creeps if they were attractive?
@@catmerchant8699 yeah true, but comparing the weightage of how much bad that comes with being pretty or ugly, the weighing scales fall towards the latter. when you're pretty, you have your own struggles but you're not worse off than what you would have been if you were ugly
@@sumaiyamithi6041 You are massivly stupid. No one is "normalazing" "creeps". What Im saying is that good looks gets you attention - and sometimes its not wanted attention, but its a small price to pay for the good attention. And yes, people often call avarage/ugly looking men "creeps" for doing the same things that attracctive guys do but the good looking ones are seen as "confident" or " going after what they want" lol. Coz you know...pretty privilage! - the same shit in the video and what we talk about in the comment section. Lol.
Cat Merchant if you ever lose your privelage you will understand what we mean when we say we deal with creeps too. i look vulnerable, like a child, so i attract plenty of creepy people. i don’t mean people my age, i mean 50 year old men wearing a cowboy hat in california, it was horrible. pretty people think ugly people don’t deal with stuff like them- no. that’s just not the case. at all.
Something I find interesting aswell is that I used to be feminine presenting and considered ugly for my body and facial features when I had longer hair and wore more feminine clothes etc. but now I’m more masculine presenting and those same features that used to be ugly are what make me “pretty”
You probably have a more androgynous look and found a style which suits you best. For a lot of people, it's not that they're ugly, but their style doesn't suit them so they're not at their best, hence the "glow ups"
it’s so interesting how this topic has become popular. as someone who is ugly, i’ve always known about pretty privilege and how looks DO matter, even if ppl try their hardest to deny it. it’s fascinating to watch people become aware of their privilege in real time.
It's pure gold that you of all people are trying to talk about this topic