They’ve been dating for “a long time “ yet he just told her a few months ago he has $60,000 in credit card debt. This lady is in for a lot of surprises.
You talk as if the husband literally has physical control over his wife to prevent her from sign up for any form of debt including a home equity line of credit. Big hint, it takes too. She is just as capable of making dumb decisions as she has shown here both. And turns off who and how to clean up technically his mess as well as her idiotic decision making skills insane yes to marrying him. The fault of the choices involving responsibility is a two way road
@@Hboogie182 Right..because someone stuck a gun to that girls' gina and MADE her pay ..HIS debt. -_- It's a two way road idiot. No one FORCED her to do that. She's JUST as big an idiot for CHOOSING to pay HIS debt as he is for " letting her pay his debt" Don't look now, but your pilot light has BEEN on for too long.. major gas leak ;)
Indeed Hey should have shown proof that he is working to knock down this debt on a more realistic effort level, and see should have known better than to say yes to him too soon before he proved better content of character in that he was really serious about killing this debt improving to her. That he could be more financially intelligently responsible
I love how Dave jumps on the relational problems - "WE are doing the class together..." Understanding human behavior is critical to understanding money and how it works.
She’s trusting him a lot to not open another credit card behind her back. The fact that he’s willing to let his girl pay for his debt rather than pay it off himself makes me skeptical that he’s always going to behave in this regard going forward.
Not in my wildest dreams I would pay off my partnets debt. The guy needs to learn how to deal with money before she marries him. If I would have ever had joint bank accounts I would be poor by now. Two of my ex partners tried to screw me regarding money when I split from them.
I wouldn’t cash out the stock until he proves for quite awhile that he can stick to a budget that makes progress. Then when his debt is gone he needs to keep paying in extra to rebuilt the net worth.
@@aolvaar8792 But her HELOC is her fiances credit card debt. I agree that she shouldn't use her stocks. She she should allow him to be a grown up and make sacrifices in order for it to pay off.
@@aolvaar8792 Not taking away from the HELOC situation, but I was talking about the 58k in credit card debt HE "revealed" and the 55k in stocks that SHE is about to cash out for HIS/"their" debt.
@@aolvaar8792 58k or 50k in credit card debt means 10,000 in interest per year. The man with double her income 120,000 (maybe gross, but nevertheless) could not figure that out. SHE has a home, he doesn't. And she RUSHES to save him even before they are married by taking out a loan in her name on HER home. While his plan is to pay her 1000 per month back. (as she had the house before the marriage it is not marital property). She goes all in, based on first romantic love, "he is great". That is going to fade. She thinks she will participate in his 120,000 (or whatever his income potential is). Looks more like he is going to drain her 60,000 income. After a while she will be stuck with a man who is possibly selfish clueless regarding money likely intends to spend like crazy in the future had good income, nothing saved up even in the courting phase he is RESCUED by her. If he would make an effort it would be different, but he obviously doesn't make an effort. He has 10,000 per month (at least gross, maybe it is net) and and plans to give her 1000 per month to pay down the cc debt - which she refinanced. I wonder for how many months she will get the 1,000 USD. She is also the type to ignore all warning signs and to get pregnant right away. Her effort will save him 10,000 interest per year (at 20 % for 50,000 open - of course the HELOC also costs interest but not nearly as much). Her stocks could appreciate a lot - they are also not shared marital property. Except when she uses them to clear HIS debt. I have a bad feeling this is not going to end well, and after the divorce she will miss those assets. She will end up having paid 60k for him (plus missing out on the appreciation of the shares). She obviously is able to finance a home (or sh got money from parents) so they can live in a home with no more costs than they already have.
It should stress you, what's keeping you from paying it off? I mean no shame in this, there were times in my life where that was all I had to live for an entire month, and there were times where I had that kind of debt and dragged it for months. Currently I'm stressed because I'm waiting on a bill I want to pay, while too many people pray for bills to come late because "it won't be a problem if it can wait a month". I don't entirely agree with everything in the babysteps (if I would have rented until I could afford to buy a house on a 15 year mortgage, I still wouldn't have owned a house f.e.), but I wholeheartedly agree on the first ones: have enough in the bank to cover the small stuff, then pay off all debt as fast as possible, then save up at least half a year worth of expenses in an emergency fund. If it takes working two jobs and eating beans and rice, do it, you'll hopefully make sure you never need to go through that again. Been there, done that, now I own a house that I'm on track to pay off in a total of 18 years (originally 25yr, now 13.5yr in) and drive a car I bought brand new 8 years ago that never gets the chance to have bald tyres or old oil (but it's a Fiat and I won't replace it before it doesn't make sence to fix it anymore).
"I would love for him to have those resources and for me to be a part of that as well." Yikes! Neither one wants to take any responsibility for the finances.
@pamt3915 I think one of the main problems here is that she is a people pleaser, but one day she is going to regret and resent being used financially though. She needs therapy to overcome the people pleasing aspect she has.
What are his expenses? Is he driving a car that can be sold to get a cheaper one? The girlfriend taking out a HELOC to pay off his debt & then selling her stock, while he only pays $1,000 towards repayment is a red flag. If she doesn’t want to deal with difficult monetary situations now, she won’t in the future either. She’d rather bail him out.
why didn't you wait a couple more years and let him pay off all his debt and why did you finance his debt? That is the craziest thing ever. Let him pay off all his debt. See if he can do it. See if he can commit to it and then get married to the guy. Why would you take a loan out for him? crazy!
@@oneeyedman99 I agree with what you said, but I also think that allowing her to pay for all his debts when they aren't even married yet isn't exactly a declaration of love either (except for other people's money).
@@Sheryl777 She shouldn't have done that, but trying to walk it back now isn't going to work. Even from a strictly business perspective, she would just create bigger problems for herself.
I would be very wary of this setup - who's to say HE didn't just rack up the debt whilst he is saving / investing into his own private accounts? Now he cleverly gets to pass off his debt to her. If that's the case the marriage is doomed from the start because it'll be based on deceit. I would rather have him come clean with his savings/investments *BEFORE* the wedding!!! Who's to say that credit debt is all there is?
That’s kind of a red flag that he makes $120,000 a year but only feel he can budget 10% of his income to debt each month. He needs to get more gazelle intense about this and sacrifice more. 5 years to pay off debt is way too long.
But his 120k is before taxes. With him not having any kids he's getting crushed with taxes. His take home pay is probably around 62k plus he probably investing in stocks and Crypto on the side with him being a risk taker
@@tsaunders4684where do you live where it's physically possible to lose 50% of your income at 120k to taxes. There is literally nowhere where that happens I will be so genuinely gobsmacked if that's true. That's approximately my income as a self employed person with no write offs my take home is about 85,000.
Take home on 120k if you put 10% in your 401k is about $7,000 a month (give or take a few hundred a month). Either way, only putting 1/7th of his income to pay her back isn't exactly buckling down and attacking debt
It goes to show, its not about how much money you make, but how you manage it. She is definitely more financially secure making $60,000 than he is and he's making $120,000. That 120k looks good on paper, but IRL he's broke. Its sad she feels she can't have a conversation about their finances with him. The fact they've been together several years and he is just now telling her about his CC debt, he was possibly using those CC to purchase high priced items for her so she'll be impressed. I hope he agrees to do FPU. For their sake.
Making money and managing money is indeed two different things but she isn’t the smartest. If anything he is fooling her. By no means it would take him 4-5 years to pay his debt. I don’t understand how she fell for that, when she is supposedly better at managing money.
i don't understand how anyone can get to tens of thousands in credit card debt. The most credit card debt I've ever had was about 5K and it was extremely stressful to me. How do people let themselves get to that point?
I disagree with Dave. Sorry Return the wedding dress. Break up until y'all become debt free. From 2016-2021 Dave website says 86% of people started their marriage off in debt. Hell no.
Sounds like there is something more behind his old credit card debt. Wonder what habits or possibly addictions contributed to the spending. I think there was more to that iceberg
I don't understand what people get out of relationships sometimes. Why have a partner that cannot pay his/her own bills. She is literally his Mother and they aren't even married.
He literally makes double her income, yet she is bailing him out like a mother would have to bail out her 14 year old son. This entire situation is a train-wreck.
my crush is literally like this. there have been months/years in their relationship where he doesn't even work and if he does it's at an ice cream store. we've been in zoom meetings where he will just be wandering in the background obviously not working, while SHE'S working. Makes me so damn furious. They've been together for 6 years, not married. Her and I almost had a thing, but we stopped. I keep waiting for her to wake up but I think she might marry him. Crushes me. He doesn't love her (obviously) and she doesn't love him. It indeed looks like a mom / son situation.
Hold up, you guys are making some insane generalizations here. There is WAY too lottle context to make this kind of assumptions. I got our of my previous marriage with 30k of credit card debt, mainly because I was so sick of that relationship that I was ready to take it all on myself just to get out of it... Debt that my exwife and I accumulated together during some dark times. It took me almost 5 years to get rid of bad habits and pay that debt off, but if I had a girlfriend who supported me through it all you would probably say she was "mothering" me. You have no clue what that person's situation was. Makes me sad just how jaded some of you people are, ready to jump to all sorts of conclusions listening to one side of the story.
@@mithicash1444 not really cuz you are saying you got yourself out of debt, that's the correct way. that's different from a person just making their partner pay for everything when they make more money or don't want to work at all.
I think you mean she paid off his debt. Men are clearly not natural providers. good grief. I don't need a man to pay my bills, but he does need to pay his. Otherwise, the partner is a dependent. 58k? That is an entire year salary.
She sounds like an awesome wife and partner to be. I love her all-in approach. With that being said, she should NOT cash her stocks for his mess. He should prove himself to be disciplined enough to pay off that debt because he makes good money. $1K a month? What is that? She needs to make sure he didn't open new cards. I definitely agree with the "we" approach going forward. Honestly, I'd hold off on the wedding.
You sir/maddam do not sound married...or hapily therefore. YOU and HER and HIS do not belong in a MARRIAGE. not if you mean the vows. It's not in health and if he proves himself. WE deal with everything together
I was this guy. Got married to w wonderful women that was better with money. Rather than use her money to pay it off, I busted my tail to clear it ASAP. The lessons learned and the hard work guarantees I will never return to that
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 nah man... I understand most people are so broken that dating and marriage are a mess these days.. But good people do exist
I think he should pay off all his credit card debt before getting married. When my husband and I were engaged, he paid off $2,300 in credit card debt (his only debt) and I saw that as a green light that we could get married. 😊It's so nice to begin a marriage debt free.
She is thinking emotionally, not logically or rationally. I cannot think of one good reason for her to take out a loan to pay off his debt. She exchanged his unsecured debt for her secured debt, and for a boyfriend. How long were they engaged? Why couldn't he have taken care of all his debt over the course of the engagement? Something is very wrong here.
@steringp1434 You've got that right! Something is very wrong, and she needs therapy to be able to get over her people pleasing ways and to take care of herself first...especially when she wasn't even married to the guy.
First and foremost, he should be dumping at least 3k/mo to those loans based on his income and the fact that you make 180k in combined salary. In fact, they should hold on to getting married and impose on themselves the condition of getting married when all of their debt is paid off.
Normally I'd agree on holding off the wedding until debt is cleared. However, since the caller took the HELOC out on HER home to pay for his debt, and the wedding is a week away from what I heard... Get married and pray she's right that they are forever and he will clean up his spending habits. At least she'll have some level of legal protection if the marriage falls apart.
Her cashing in her stocks to pay off his debt/her HELOC, he ain't gonna learn #%&^ and he's not going to change a darn thing. A single guy making 120k should NOT have 60k in CC debt. He's not amazing. Amazing guys don't abuse money like this.
Why do I get the feeling this marriage isn't goint to last? She's going to put her foot down on minimalist expenses and he's going to be a baby about it because he has double her income. That along with the debt bailout thing is just going to snowball into an avalanche of resentment
It is almost always the woman's problem. They fought for equality and lobbied politicians to make community laws, which now extort men. Do you want me to relay all the ways divorced males have to live? How sad it is? Or do you just deny?
The reason you hear a lot of negativity around it is that if the woman had student loan debt and the man paid it off the woman would love it. When it is the opposite the woman all think it is unfair. This is what getting married is a coupling of finances. We honestly got no idea if either of them are responsible. She could be asking him to spend a lot that created the debt. We got no idea they didn’t ask enough because it isn’t important. You were 2 people now your are 1 couple. Time to make plans together for the future. No matter who has the debt.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I can't feel sorry. He is a little low somehow or just really bad with coins. I'd be reluctant to hitch my wagon behind his team of horses without some reassurances.
Місяць тому+1
I teach financial planning and I always advise couples to keep most accounts separate. This helps prevent arguments over money. It also helps prevent either spouse from abusing the other financially. Combining everything reeks of socialism. Separate accounts encourage personal responsibility. A spouse should be a partner, not a parasite. You marry a person, not a bank account. It would be wise for this couple to delay the wedding until he cleans up his debt and attends Financial Peace classes.
Why was she at the cleaners when she hasn’t gotten married, yet? Alterations? Love that Jade called her out and Dave said “WE need to do this together “
After alterations and walking around, including outside, my daughter’s dress “train” got dirty, so she had to take it to dry cleaners. It was about $100 to clean, but cheaper than the $300.00 the Bridal Boutique wanted. Yes, it was a $3000 dress, as they had a $100K wedding, but they are both MDs with household income of $700K. My daughter has NO medical school loans since her father left her a huge life insurance policy when he passed away when she was a senior in high school. She had enough in insurance to outright pay for college, medical school and put 50% down payment on a luxurious townhome in medical center area which is very high cost.
These two are doomed before they’re even married. He hid the cc debt for who knows how long. She’s afraid to discuss issues with him. She judges him on cc debt, but sees nothing wrong with a HELOC. She wants HIM to learn from Dave when she needs Financial Peace too. 😂 Disfunction written all over this relationship.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I genuinely don’t know what your comment is trying to get across. I’m not trying to be combative, I just don’t understand how that ties into this thread.
One of the definitions of stupid: given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner. We gotta start owning up to that definition.
Sounds like he is the more attractive person with more options and she “needs” this relationship to work. Therefore she’s doing everything to make it happen
@@kbanghart She 'wants to' because she is thinking emotionally, not logically or rationally. I cannot think of one good reason for her to take out a loan to pay off his debt. She exchanged his unsecured debt for her secured debt, and for a boyfriend. How long were they engaged? Why couldn't he have taken care of all his debt over the course of the engagement? Something is very wrong here.
@@steringp1434 once they get married it doesn’t matter. Most marriages bring debt now with student loans. Their isn’t his and her debt their is the debt they have as a family once they get married.
@@joesmith3590 Except if they get divorced, then she loses all of the money that she paid for his debt. He would not be responsible for her Home Equity Loan because he never signed for it. If she didn't pay off his credit card debt, and they get divorced after a year, she would not be responsible for his debt. He would continue to be responsible for whatever amount is left on his credit card debt. It would have been so much simpler if he just eliminated any debt that he had during the time that they were engaged. The engagement could have been for a year or more. The fact that he didn't pay it all off during the engagement would be a red flag for me.
@@steringp1434 yeah because you made up a bunch of bad stuff about the guy when you have no idea. The woman could be driving the debt since she has been with this man. You making a lot of assumptions based of your own poor relationships ma’am
Is he though? He made about 30M dollars from endorsing and promoting a company that was supposed to get people out of timeshares, which turned out ot be a massive scam. I like what Dave teaches, but things like this SHOULD be vetted.
Am I the only one with the mentality "the more you spend the more you have to work and I HATE my job so I'm going to be cheap as humanly possible" guess so...smh
@@miketheyunggod2534 That’s true you gotta pay off your debt, but why pay extra taxes on it? You have to pay at least 30% of that. So not you’re paying $16,500 on taxes ON TOP of paying off that debt.
I would live off PART of his income and apply her wages towards his (now their) credit card debt. They can also apply money from his wages to pay it off faster. This should take less than one year.
One mistake after another...groan.... and...she is talking like a mommy and she's going to get him straightened out in the marriage! NOT! Marriage doesn't work that way.
Yeah, but they won't tell you that because their whole audience feeds on taking the callers side and blaming the party that is not there to defend themselves. If you look through a few of their videos that is the theme. One-sided stories and titles to get them as many views and comments as possible, damned be their viewers. \\
Such bad advice. Do not sell the stocks to pay this off. Force the strict budge and make paying off the HELOC painful to burn that bridge. Selling off the stocks makes it too easy and teaches the wrong lesson. Getting the HELOC was not a bad idea. It makes paying off those card possible. She should have waited until they were married, but the HELOC consolidation is not a bad move in itself.
I really hope this marriage works. I was successful in my country and came to the US from 6000 miles away because I feel in love with a Texan woman. I paid off 60k of her student loan and bought her a car and helped her get ahead in life then she screw me over and I'm no longer important in her life.
The minute he disclosed this debt SHE should have put the wedding plans on hold until HE cleaned up HIS mess HIMSELF and showed her his habits have changed, proving to be on the same page as her. To make the ultimate commitment of marriage to someone who has not only kept her in the dark about this but is ok with her putting her own security in jeopardy is asking for more selfishness and dishonesty down the line.
They’ve been dating for “a long time “ yet he just told her a few months ago he has $60,000 in credit card debt. This lady is in for a lot of surprises.
She took out a HELOC on _HER_ home to pay off _HIS_ credit cards _BEFORE_ they got married?!?! I really hope the marriage works out.
I would marry her too.
Yup, AND he makes more than her! go figure. sounds like a doomed marriage.
Right!!
it won't
Women do this to men and bail all the time
He makes twice what she makes. He lets her go into debt to help him, before they're married. 🙄🙄
She was probably seeing him stress out over the credit card payments and offered the heloc to save him thousands.
You talk as if the husband literally has physical control over his wife to prevent her from sign up for any form of debt including a home equity line of credit.
Big hint, it takes too. She is just as capable of making dumb decisions as she has shown here both. And turns off who and how to clean up technically his mess as well as her idiotic decision making skills insane yes to marrying him.
The fault of the choices involving responsibility is a two way road
Dave should have asked how much they’re spending on the wedding and if any of that cc debt has to do with wedding expenses
He needs to step up and be a man. Can't believe he let his girlfriend pay his debt. I wonder if he feels ashamed as a man.
@@Hboogie182 Right..because someone stuck a gun to that girls' gina and MADE her pay ..HIS debt. -_-
It's a two way road idiot. No one FORCED her to do that.
She's JUST as big an idiot for CHOOSING to pay HIS debt as he is for " letting her pay his debt"
Don't look now, but your pilot light has BEEN on for too long.. major gas leak ;)
He makes TWICE the income she does.
But she is bailing him out before they are married?
He is a child.OMG... she will be like his mother. WTF?!
EXACTLY. I'm starting to see some women and men like that dynamic. It infuriates me lol.
Indeed
Hey should have shown proof that he is working to knock down this debt on a more realistic effort level, and see should have known better than to say yes to him too soon before he proved better content of character in that he was really serious about killing this debt improving to her. That he could be more financially intelligently responsible
180k income and you want to wait 6 years to pay off your debt? Wow
I love how Dave jumps on the relational problems - "WE are doing the class together..."
Understanding human behavior is critical to understanding money and how it works.
She’s trusting him a lot to not open another credit card behind her back. The fact that he’s willing to let his girl pay for his debt rather than pay it off himself makes me skeptical that he’s always going to behave in this regard going forward.
He has probably always taken the easy way out!
He is paying her back on the loan she took out for him.
@@rebeccaoprea9917for now . . .
Nah there getting married things can happen but not everyone takes advantage of people
Isn't the guy paying $1k monthly for the loan?
When I want to make money - I go to work. When I want to be entertained - I come to watch your channel.
Not in my wildest dreams I would pay off my partnets debt. The guy needs to learn how to deal with money before she marries him. If I would have ever had joint bank accounts I would be poor by now. Two of my ex partners tried to screw me regarding money when I split from them.
I wouldn’t cash out the stock until he proves for quite awhile that he can stick to a budget that makes progress. Then when his debt is gone he needs to keep paying in extra to rebuilt the net worth.
Why would you not? The HELOC is in her name, so her debt. So even if he can’t stick to a budget she still has to pay it.
I agree. $1K a month is laughable. He should be able to pay that off in less than a year making $120K a year.
I think I'd not get married till it's paid off. But, as it sits now, he can walk away, and she is going to be the only person paying for his debts.
you people do not sound married. a lot of he'she in the comments. Hoping ur marriages are not run this way or you need more help than they do
@@SilvD3XGuess what the cool part is: they WERE NOT MARRIED when this mess happened. So yeah, he/she is the correct wording.
Damn I am absolutely shocked he told the woman to pay
"I make 120k, I'm gona go into debt, but I'm gona make my soon to be wife pay for it, with HER STOCKS." What a loving husband. lol 🙄
@@dec23 "Unto thee all my worldly goods" So I guess in feminist girl world that only counts when the man has to say it?
She has her love glasses on bless her..
She's about to cash out her savings to clear his debt.....? ....He married well lol😂
It is Her debt, the HELOC.
@@aolvaar8792 But her HELOC is her fiances credit card debt. I agree that she shouldn't use her stocks. She she should allow him to be a grown up and make sacrifices in order for it to pay off.
@@aolvaar8792 Not taking away from the HELOC situation, but I was talking about the 58k in credit card debt HE "revealed" and the 55k in stocks that SHE is about to cash out for HIS/"their" debt.
@@aolvaar8792 58k or 50k in credit card debt means 10,000 in interest per year. The man with double her income 120,000 (maybe gross, but nevertheless) could not figure that out. SHE has a home, he doesn't. And she RUSHES to save him even before they are married by taking out a loan in her name on HER home.
While his plan is to pay her 1000 per month back. (as she had the house before the marriage it is not marital property).
She goes all in, based on first romantic love, "he is great". That is going to fade.
She thinks she will participate in his 120,000 (or whatever his income potential is). Looks more like he is going to drain her 60,000 income.
After a while she will be stuck with a man who is possibly
selfish
clueless regarding money
likely intends to spend like crazy in the future
had good income, nothing saved up
even in the courting phase he is RESCUED by her.
If he would make an effort it would be different, but he obviously doesn't make an effort.
He has 10,000 per month (at least gross, maybe it is net) and and plans to give her 1000 per month to pay down the cc debt - which she refinanced. I wonder for how many months she will get the 1,000 USD. She is also the type to ignore all warning signs and to get pregnant right away.
Her effort will save him 10,000 interest per year (at 20 % for 50,000 open - of course the HELOC also costs interest but not nearly as much).
Her stocks could appreciate a lot - they are also not shared marital property. Except when she uses them to clear HIS debt.
I have a bad feeling this is not going to end well, and after the divorce she will miss those assets. She will end up having paid 60k for him (plus missing out on the appreciation of the shares).
She obviously is able to finance a home (or sh got money from parents) so they can live in a home with no more costs than they already have.
Holy moly... I didn't even pay off the last year of my wife's car loan after we got married
I never realized how lucky we were that my husband and I were both smart with money. We just figured that THAT was how an adult should be.
Me and my wife feel the same about couples who have gotten divorced.
Most of our surroundings today are designed to tempt us and to make as as impulsive and as indulging as possible.
@@mithicash1444 I’m lucky that I’m not an impulse buyer.
My credit card debt is around $300 and I'm stressing over it
It should stress you, what's keeping you from paying it off?
I mean no shame in this, there were times in my life where that was all I had to live for an entire month, and there were times where I had that kind of debt and dragged it for months.
Currently I'm stressed because I'm waiting on a bill I want to pay, while too many people pray for bills to come late because "it won't be a problem if it can wait a month".
I don't entirely agree with everything in the babysteps (if I would have rented until I could afford to buy a house on a 15 year mortgage, I still wouldn't have owned a house f.e.), but I wholeheartedly agree on the first ones: have enough in the bank to cover the small stuff, then pay off all debt as fast as possible, then save up at least half a year worth of expenses in an emergency fund. If it takes working two jobs and eating beans and rice, do it, you'll hopefully make sure you never need to go through that again.
Been there, done that, now I own a house that I'm on track to pay off in a total of 18 years (originally 25yr, now 13.5yr in) and drive a car I bought brand new 8 years ago that never gets the chance to have bald tyres or old oil (but it's a Fiat and I won't replace it before it doesn't make sence to fix it anymore).
Sounds like he'll rack up more credit card debt, expecting her to pay. And she'll complain, but pay it.
"I would love for him to have those resources and for me to be a part of that as well." Yikes! Neither one wants to take any responsibility for the finances.
Honey, you took out a $50k HELOC to bail out somebody you're not married to. You need the course too
Why didn’t Dave ask about HIS assets? He should be contributing whatever he can, so she doesn’t have to sell all of her stock.
@pamt3915 I think one of the main problems here is that she is a people pleaser, but one day she is going to regret and resent being used financially though. She needs therapy to overcome the people pleasing aspect she has.
He did, he asked if any one of them had money. She answered she had $50k in stocks.
What are his expenses? Is he driving a car that can be sold to get a cheaper one? The girlfriend taking out a HELOC to pay off his debt & then selling her stock, while he only pays $1,000 towards repayment is a red flag. If she doesn’t want to deal with difficult monetary situations now, she won’t in the future either. She’d rather bail him out.
why didn't you wait a couple more years and let him pay off all his debt and why did you finance his debt? That is the craziest thing ever. Let him pay off all his debt. See if he can do it. See if he can commit to it and then get married to the guy. Why would you take a loan out for him? crazy!
@janhatcher6991 👍
"I'm calling off the ceremony until you pay off your debts" isn't exactly a declaration of love.
@@oneeyedman99 I agree with what you said, but I also think that allowing her to pay for all his debts when they aren't even married yet isn't exactly a declaration of love either (except for other people's money).
Haha yep, just going to complicate matter with child support a couple year from now
@@Sheryl777 She shouldn't have done that, but trying to walk it back now isn't going to work. Even from a strictly business perspective, she would just create bigger problems for herself.
what a great wife. Hope he never leaves her.
It won't be a good decision to cash out her stock to pay off his debt when they will most likely divorce in about 5 years.
Well... he makes double what she does. Assuming they stay debt free throughout those 5 years, she'd be getting her money back and then some
Caller: "It's a little nerve wracking to confront his weak link"
Jade: Calls her out spot on
I give them a few years.
That and she kept saying he was bad with money, but she’s just as dumb with money too 😂
During which he racks up tens of thousands of dollars more debt.
I would be very wary of this setup - who's to say HE didn't just rack up the debt whilst he is saving / investing into his own private accounts? Now he cleverly gets to pass off his debt to her. If that's the case the marriage is doomed from the start because it'll be based on deceit.
I would rather have him come clean with his savings/investments *BEFORE* the wedding!!! Who's to say that credit debt is all there is?
Does $58k in credit card debt sound like someone who is scheming with hidden investments?
@@Thurgor_Supreme Good question!
@@Thurgor_Supreme Let’s change it to “investments”. 😂
That’s kind of a red flag that he makes $120,000 a year but only feel he can budget 10% of his income to debt each month. He needs to get more gazelle intense about this and sacrifice more. 5 years to pay off debt is way too long.
But his 120k is before taxes. With him not having any kids he's getting crushed with taxes. His take home pay is probably around 62k plus he probably investing in stocks and Crypto on the side with him being a risk taker
Something else is definitely going on.
@@tsaunders4684where do you live where it's physically possible to lose 50% of your income at 120k to taxes. There is literally nowhere where that happens I will be so genuinely gobsmacked if that's true. That's approximately my income as a self employed person with no write offs my take home is about 85,000.
Take home on 120k if you put 10% in your 401k is about $7,000 a month (give or take a few hundred a month). Either way, only putting 1/7th of his income to pay her back isn't exactly buckling down and attacking debt
@@tsaunders4684Taxes on 120k aren’t 60k. Otherwise people would revolt.
It goes to show, its not about how much money you make, but how you manage it. She is definitely more financially secure making $60,000 than he is and he's making $120,000. That 120k looks good on paper, but IRL he's broke. Its sad she feels she can't have a conversation about their finances with him. The fact they've been together several years and he is just now telling her about his CC debt, he was possibly using those CC to purchase high priced items for her so she'll be impressed. I hope he agrees to do FPU. For their sake.
Making money and managing money is indeed two different things but she isn’t the smartest. If anything he is fooling her. By no means it would take him 4-5 years to pay his debt. I don’t understand how she fell for that, when she is supposedly better at managing money.
Then he is going to divorce her and walk away free while she’s stuck with the HELOC loan. That’s exactly what happened to my best friend.
Yeah, but she'll get a $30k raise for all the years they were married
$120k a year job and ONLY paying $1k to the $58k credit card debt??
You can do $2k/month at min, $3k+ with no money going toward 401k and all
That's what I was thinking. No kids and no 401k? He could light that debt on fire!!
i don't understand how anyone can get to tens of thousands in credit card debt. The most credit card debt I've ever had was about 5K and it was extremely stressful to me. How do people let themselves get to that point?
different threshold of stress.
The more you make, the more you spend.
Agree
$5K of Credit Card Debt sounds extreme as well lol
@@guccithunder6136 it was and it’s why I will never incur credit card debt again if i can help it. It feels too good to be at zero.
In the case of dumb things we have heard people do on calls, this is pretty high up there. What a horrible idea.
I disagree with Dave. Sorry Return the wedding dress. Break up until y'all become debt free. From 2016-2021 Dave website says 86% of people started their marriage off in debt. Hell no.
Sounds like there is something more behind his old credit card debt. Wonder what habits or possibly addictions contributed to the spending. I think there was more to that iceberg
I don't understand what people get out of relationships sometimes. Why have a partner that cannot pay his/her own bills. She is literally his Mother and they aren't even married.
He literally makes double her income, yet she is bailing him out like a mother would have to bail out her 14 year old son. This entire situation is a train-wreck.
From age 20-40 men and women are biologically programmed to find a partner and make babies. Many bad decisions are made because of this.
my crush is literally like this. there have been months/years in their relationship where he doesn't even work and if he does it's at an ice cream store. we've been in zoom meetings where he will just be wandering in the background obviously not working, while SHE'S working. Makes me so damn furious. They've been together for 6 years, not married. Her and I almost had a thing, but we stopped. I keep waiting for her to wake up but I think she might marry him. Crushes me. He doesn't love her (obviously) and she doesn't love him. It indeed looks like a mom / son situation.
Hold up, you guys are making some insane generalizations here. There is WAY too lottle context to make this kind of assumptions. I got our of my previous marriage with 30k of credit card debt, mainly because I was so sick of that relationship that I was ready to take it all on myself just to get out of it... Debt that my exwife and I accumulated together during some dark times. It took me almost 5 years to get rid of bad habits and pay that debt off, but if I had a girlfriend who supported me through it all you would probably say she was "mothering" me. You have no clue what that person's situation was. Makes me sad just how jaded some of you people are, ready to jump to all sorts of conclusions listening to one side of the story.
@@mithicash1444 not really cuz you are saying you got yourself out of debt, that's the correct way. that's different from a person just making their partner pay for everything when they make more money or don't want to work at all.
1:24 "Lord Jesus....ok" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She is "buying" herself a husband!! Make HIM pay it off before marriage!!
Do men not have to buy a gal on dates? Hmm?
❤
if she made more i would agree with you, but he makes twice as much
It's January 15 when I post this so I hope that they are happily married now and are working on this debt together.
Only fools believe in marriage.
I heard they’re getting divorced
@@HOLDXSTEEL They're divorced now and in even more debt now.
I think you mean she paid off his debt. Men are clearly not natural providers. good grief. I don't need a man to pay my bills, but he does need to pay his. Otherwise, the partner is a dependent. 58k? That is an entire year salary.
@@ST-rj8iu that is why you single and childless at 40+ though. lol.
Umm. I would be advising to rethink the wisdom of marrying someone who can get into 58k of cc debt with 120k salary. . .
She sounds like an awesome wife and partner to be. I love her all-in approach. With that being said, she should NOT cash her stocks for his mess. He should prove himself to be disciplined enough to pay off that debt because he makes good money. $1K a month? What is that? She needs to make sure he didn't open new cards. I definitely agree with the "we" approach going forward. Honestly, I'd hold off on the wedding.
Me too
Once she got the heloc, it’s no longer just his problem. If the relationship/wedding falls thru, she still has to pay.
They going to be married so she SHOULD do that. Theres no more my stuff, your stuff.
THEY are getting married. It's now THEIR DEBT. You're wrong.
You sir/maddam do not sound married...or hapily therefore. YOU and HER and HIS do not belong in a MARRIAGE. not if you mean the vows. It's not in health and if he proves himself. WE deal with everything together
So the marriage starts lopsided and then there’s expectation of oneness?
I was this guy. Got married to w wonderful women that was better with money. Rather than use her money to pay it off, I busted my tail to clear it ASAP. The lessons learned and the hard work guarantees I will never return to that
That is good thinking, only you messed up with the whole marriage thing.
Good for you, for paying off your debt. 😊
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 nah man... I understand most people are so broken that dating and marriage are a mess these days.. But good people do exist
I think he should pay off all his credit card debt before getting married. When my husband and I were engaged, he paid off $2,300 in credit card debt (his only debt) and I saw that as a green light that we could get married. 😊It's so nice to begin a marriage debt free.
He better be the one. I can't believe she would take out a massive amount like that for him. He makes more, he should be responsible for it, period.
She is thinking emotionally, not logically or rationally. I cannot think of one good reason for her to take out a loan to pay off his debt. She exchanged his unsecured debt for her secured debt, and for a boyfriend. How long were they engaged? Why couldn't he have taken care of all his debt over the course of the engagement? Something is very wrong here.
@steringp1434 You've got that right! Something is very wrong, and she needs therapy to be able to get over her people pleasing ways and to take care of herself first...especially when she wasn't even married to the guy.
He makes over $100,000 a year and can’t pay back HIS OWN credit card.
Shame on her fiance for allowing her to do this for him
And yet she's eager to marry him. Bet he racks up more debt after the marriage.
They're obviously very in love and she saved him thousands and thousands in interest.
Imagine taking on someone’s else debt. It’s asinine.
He makes $120,000 a year and he agreed to pay $1,000 a month?!
WTF!
58k credit card debt? Holy shite
Common sense isn’t taught in a classroom. Proof just cuz someone makes more money, doesn’t mean they’re smarter than you.
Hello. Great advice to this couple.
First and foremost, he should be dumping at least 3k/mo to those loans based on his income and the fact that you make 180k in combined salary. In fact, they should hold on to getting married and impose on themselves the condition of getting married when all of their debt is paid off.
Yup! I wonder how much they’re spending on the wedding!
Normally I'd agree on holding off the wedding until debt is cleared. However, since the caller took the HELOC out on HER home to pay for his debt, and the wedding is a week away from what I heard... Get married and pray she's right that they are forever and he will clean up his spending habits. At least she'll have some level of legal protection if the marriage falls apart.
Do not cash the stocks.
They have a good income, compared to their debt.
This is the definition of love struck.
They will be divorced within 5 years.
Her cashing in her stocks to pay off his debt/her HELOC, he ain't gonna learn #%&^ and he's not going to change a darn thing. A single guy making 120k should NOT have 60k in CC debt. He's not amazing. Amazing guys don't abuse money like this.
Why do I get the feeling this marriage isn't goint to last? She's going to put her foot down on minimalist expenses and he's going to be a baby about it because he has double her income. That along with the debt bailout thing is just going to snowball into an avalanche of resentment
She is going into a marriage and she is already worried. He's out of debt but she is stuck with a heloc loan. Not good. Not comfortable. Worrisome.
I love this the truth is the truth and that’s why people love this podcast so much that most people don’t talk about its financials full stop 😉😃👍🙏
THEY NOT GONA LAST LONG TOGETHER!!
She sounds lovely. I hope they work together and stay happy.
$180k in Louisville is a lot!
He’s stopped … for the moment. He’ll take out more … backed by HER financial stability.
I hope this works for them. Unfortunately she sounds like she does not understand what she did was also wrong.
How is she the problem, the lady is giving away 55k in stocks for his mess. He is lucky to have her, and should be thanking her.
It is almost always the woman's problem. They fought for equality and lobbied politicians to make community laws, which now extort men. Do you want me to relay all the ways divorced males have to live? How sad it is? Or do you just deny?
FFS @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
The reason you hear a lot of negativity around it is that if the woman had student loan debt and the man paid it off the woman would love it. When it is the opposite the woman all think it is unfair. This is what getting married is a coupling of finances. We honestly got no idea if either of them are responsible. She could be asking him to spend a lot that created the debt. We got no idea they didn’t ask enough because it isn’t important. You were 2 people now your are 1 couple. Time to make plans together for the future. No matter who has the debt.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I can't feel sorry. He is a little low somehow or just really bad with coins. I'd be reluctant to hitch my wagon behind his team of horses without some reassurances.
I teach financial planning and I always advise couples to keep most accounts separate. This helps prevent arguments over money. It also helps prevent either spouse from abusing the other financially. Combining everything reeks of socialism. Separate accounts encourage personal responsibility.
A spouse should be a partner, not a parasite. You marry a person, not a bank account.
It would be wise for this couple to delay the wedding until he cleans up his debt and attends Financial Peace classes.
"When you get married, you are French: 'we we.'" 🤣
Why was she at the cleaners when she hasn’t gotten married, yet? Alterations? Love that Jade called her out and Dave said “WE need to do this together “
I assumed it was cheap 2nd hand one to save money or could be alterations
To prepare for the divorce XD
Jizz stains from the last bride
After alterations and walking around, including outside, my daughter’s dress “train” got dirty, so she had to take it to dry cleaners. It was about $100 to clean, but cheaper than the $300.00 the Bridal Boutique wanted. Yes, it was a $3000 dress, as they had a $100K wedding, but they are both MDs with household income of $700K. My daughter has NO medical school loans since her father left her a huge life insurance policy when he passed away when she was a senior in high school. She had enough in insurance to outright pay for college, medical school and put 50% down payment on a luxurious townhome in medical center area which is very high cost.
@@MB-uy5kh Thank you father.
These are bad decisions piled on worse decisions
So she makes half of what he does and has $50k in stocks rather than $50k in debt?
The nerve asking people to come to a wedding on new years… lol
She really thinks she's better than her husband. HE needs all this stuff.
I like how Dave uses “We” are going to pay this off and “we” getting this done within 6 months.
These two are doomed before they’re even married. He hid the cc debt for who knows how long. She’s afraid to discuss issues with him. She judges him on cc debt, but sees nothing wrong with a HELOC. She wants HIM to learn from Dave when she needs Financial Peace too. 😂 Disfunction written all over this relationship.
I judge him stronger because she only did the heloc BECAUSE of him
@@EmilyWhite2013z judge her stronger*
They are both from Louisville, which is in a state that is seen as backwards by the rest of the 49.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I genuinely don’t know what your comment is trying to get across. I’m not trying to be combative, I just don’t understand how that ties into this thread.
@@EmilyWhite2013z She went with the heloc. She should have just told him to pay it off.
as soon as she pays his crap off- he will divorce her
where do i get that “better than i deserve” sticker?! 😍
The things we do for love 🙄🙄🙄🙄
One of the definitions of stupid:
given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner.
We gotta start owning up to that definition.
I wish I could get some advice, but I can't get through even if I call before 2 PM EST. 😮💨
Hey, there are plenty of wise people on these comments that can offer ideas.
Besides you listen long enough you could relate bits and pieces or here how small your situation actually is on reflection.
Sounds like he is the more attractive person with more options and she “needs” this relationship to work. Therefore she’s doing everything to make it happen
Ouch!
If he doesn’t change his ways with borrowing money I will give the marriage 2 years 😮
Even if it passes 2 years, she needs to wait 10 to divorce with benefits.
There's no way she should have to cash out her stocks to pay off his debt... I'd say the same thing about if a man was paying off a woman's debt.
She doesn't have to, she wants to.
@@kbanghart She 'wants to' because she is thinking emotionally, not logically or rationally. I cannot think of one good reason for her to take out a loan to pay off his debt. She exchanged his unsecured debt for her secured debt, and for a boyfriend. How long were they engaged? Why couldn't he have taken care of all his debt over the course of the engagement? Something is very wrong here.
@@steringp1434 once they get married it doesn’t matter. Most marriages bring debt now with student loans. Their isn’t his and her debt their is the debt they have as a family once they get married.
@@joesmith3590 Except if they get divorced, then she loses all of the money that she paid for his debt. He would not be responsible for her Home Equity Loan because he never signed for it. If she didn't pay off his credit card debt, and they get divorced after a year, she would not be responsible for his debt. He would continue to be responsible for whatever amount is left on his credit card debt. It would have been so much simpler if he just eliminated any debt that he had during the time that they were engaged. The engagement could have been for a year or more. The fact that he didn't pay it all off during the engagement would be a red flag for me.
@@steringp1434 yeah because you made up a bunch of bad stuff about the guy when you have no idea. The woman could be driving the debt since she has been with this man. You making a lot of assumptions based of your own poor relationships ma’am
That guy could easily get his debt paid off in a year if not sooner!
lol her face at 1:23
He’ll run it up again
Nothing is forever!
I like Dave we won’t fine good men like him anymore
Is he though? He made about 30M dollars from endorsing and promoting a company that was supposed to get people out of timeshares, which turned out ot be a massive scam. I like what Dave teaches, but things like this SHOULD be vetted.
She makes 60, he makes 120. He can pay that himself, before marriage. Wedding is now next year!!!!!!!
He’s obviously not a CC person. I hope he doesn’t go undercover with his spending.
Am I the only one with the mentality "the more you spend the more you have to work and I HATE my job so I'm going to be cheap as humanly possible" guess so...smh
DO NOT SELL YOUR STOCKS TO PAY OFF DEBT! YOU HAVE CAPITAL GAINS FROM IT!!!
Idk why Dave always suggests that.
Gonna pay eventually.
@@miketheyunggod2534 That’s true you gotta pay off your debt, but why pay extra taxes on it? You have to pay at least 30% of that. So not you’re paying $16,500 on taxes ON TOP of paying off that debt.
@@angryox3102 I don’t know either. You know he knows about capital gains.
I would live off PART of his income and apply her wages towards his (now their) credit card debt. They can also apply money from his wages to pay it off faster. This should take less than one year.
Red Flag Flying.
One mistake after another...groan.... and...she is talking like a mommy and she's going to get him straightened out in the marriage! NOT! Marriage doesn't work that way.
Thats gotta be a tough pill: put on a gold wedding band, put $60,000 toward something you had no enjoyment of.
But he came with a magic wand!
Face it good looks just don't cut it anymore.
What did he spend the 58k on? That needs to be understood too.
Women, gambling, hunting gear, golf clubs, boys trips, truck upgrades. The usual.
Yeah, but they won't tell you that because their whole audience feeds on taking the callers side and blaming the party that is not there to defend themselves. If you look through a few of their videos that is the theme. One-sided stories and titles to get them as many views and comments as possible, damned be their viewers.
\\
Such bad advice. Do not sell the stocks to pay this off. Force the strict budge and make paying off the HELOC painful to burn that bridge. Selling off the stocks makes it too easy and teaches the wrong lesson.
Getting the HELOC was not a bad idea. It makes paying off those card possible. She should have waited until they were married, but the HELOC consolidation is not a bad move in itself.
I really hope this marriage works. I was successful in my country and came to the US from 6000 miles away because I feel in love with a Texan woman. I paid off 60k of her student loan and bought her a car and helped her get ahead in life then she screw me over and I'm no longer important in her life.
there is not enough money to fix stupid. Until he can become unstupid, do not get into legal unity no matter how much you love him
The minute he disclosed this debt SHE should have put the wedding plans on hold until HE cleaned up HIS mess HIMSELF and showed her his habits have changed, proving to be on the same page as her. To make the ultimate commitment of marriage to someone who has not only kept her in the dark about this but is ok with her putting her own security in jeopardy is asking for more selfishness and dishonesty down the line.
Sounds like some bullshit on this call. We make 180k but cant figure out how to pay off debt
tell him to get rid of the credit card date and then marry him.
damn they both make poor financial decisions
@mybdayis420 ..... and no one asked if they are cash flowing the wedding.......another call to DR Show on the horizon...methinks