For the first one, my default emotion changed from fear where I was afraid of the narcissist and what they could or might have done and also a feeling of anger towards the narcissist thinking how could they hurt me and hurt other people? I'm much more joyous and happy now that I'm focusing on myself and my goals. I think I'm also more in the moment these days and thinking about the future. I'm happy to say that this is the first year in nearly 13 years that I haven't ruminated and I'm focusing my mind on other things, like online classes and hobbies. I feel like I'm becoming more authentic this year than I have ever been in my entire life and it's true that not everyone is going to like that. Being my authentic self is probably too much for some people, but I guess if we are too much for some people, we learn that those are just not our people and we will eventually find friends who are supportive and accept us for who we are.
I strongly agree with you... we must focus on our selves as authentic and who they will not accept our authenticity then we are not commitment to be with them, we can another find supportive people. ❤❤
@@Swisser70 thats ok. Awareness is really powerful when it comes to people pleasing. You'll get there. You will really start to notice when you are doing something authenticly and when you doing something to please someone else. Pick and choose accordingly and try not to apologize for saying no.
how do you mean obliterate though... in terms of not reacting or being easily provoked this doesn't seem ideal... isn't healthier more like saying to them 'what's up? do you have a problem? why are you acting strange?' without necessary stirring yourself up at all... just curious :))
@@ausroy087 i don't mean I actually obliterate them, but I will eliminate the relationship completely. Most of the problem is that I found myself surrounded my narcissists until I started realizing how terribly I was being treated. I dont get angry, but I will just completely turn off the relationship. No room for people who don't respect me. If that's some sort of problem, then its better than the former problems.
It is such an awesome feeling to realise that I am on a healing path. Thank you Michelle. Your experiences and knowledge are saving people. Be well and God bless you!
Thank you! I’m 3 years no contact am I swear I felt this weird sensation in my brain a few times. It kinda scared me at first but I heard a few survivors say something about it. I don’t have brain fog, my brain works better than before. I’m reading more than I ever have. My body does not ache . No dark circles around my eyes and my weight is going down. Healing is interesting I’m better over all and I am at peace, but sometimes I have my days. It definitely got worse before it got better. I know my worth now 🤣
With this video you have given me and others a tool to self evaluate how we are progressing away from cptsd. Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate it!
Wow! How amazing I feel as if I am in my present when it comes to my past abuse with my husband. But my memory is so horrible! I can not even remember my marriage date. My mind goes completely blank. I hate that because I feel so ignorant very embarrassing. As for friendships I honestly do not have any friends. It is lonely but it is safe. It keeps me secure and focused. I can focus on what's important.
Janelle M Medina, I hear you. After experiencing trauma, we can get easily triggered from even the smallest daily stressors. Our brains can get tripped in flight or freeze mode to feel safe. Thankfully PTSD is not an automatic life sentence with so many resources available to educate and overcome Trauma 🙏😅
Michele, Your authenticity is beeming from the video, thank you. Watching this video made me remember what healing feels like 💗💗💗💗. I would have found it hard not to hug you right now if we were in the same room! ☺️
Thank you So much Michele for your info & advice you provide for free. I am an Narcissit surviour who just got free of my Narccist I lived with for 26 years & went no contect which is a huge freedom of my life! I find your videos so informative and helpful on my healing journey moving forward from my past, Thank you so so much, your helping so many people ❤
I'm kind of worried because my life has still the dramatic ups and downs. I also find it really hard to trust that I'm good enough or my work is good enough.
I am a gamer and been one sense childhood. Im now 22 and when I say I never would imagine I would be so happy just simply playing my favorite videogame I mean that.
Am an Endodontist from India ... am slowly realising after seeing your videos, how complicated and difficult it is to understand human mind... and u did it with soo nice 👍
Thank you for the empathy that you give us with your videos. I'm a man so asking for the empathy I need isn't easy for me. Your videos fill that hole to a certain extend.
Im not sure if this applies with the video at all, ive just starting watching it. But im really proud of this one thing im able to do now. My mom is my narc, and shes like one of the worst worst ones it feels like. Ive been able notice other relationships ive had that were mini ones of like me and my mom, it was rlly bad. But ive been able to get out of them, and sort of validate myself, even if its just a little bit by myself. It doesnt rlly work but ive been able to get out of the relationship and stay away from them 90% of the time. If ive forgotten and can feel myself saying "well im lonely, maybe they didnt mean it" etc trying to make excuses for them, i rewatch these videos and actually think again.. and the one thing that i tell myself that usually helps better is "you already have one u need a break" and AND another thing im proud of is that, ive not been in a relationship since my last very very god dang toxic one, and not bcuz im forcing it, im genuinely not lonely in that way anymore!! Like i dont care abt having a s.o !!! Im not aure if im just not interested in it or if im on the asexual spectrum, i feel i am though but in anycase, ive never been able to be happy alone in this way, and im very happy about it.
hopefully all narcissists watch this being believable for them to heal too . Even if they feel the victim. It’s more tricky ❤for change. Prayers of love joy and healing . Ty for your podcasts
Hi, Michelle! This video is absolutely refreshing! Jusr yesterday i was not ruminating, but rather looking objectively in the past(which is something very different and positive)... Ad I saw a big misunderstanding, in which I was guilty... Well, instead of feeling toxic guilt, patiently I have been kindly analizing... In the understanding that if the person I unconsciously hurted is not a narcissist, she will totally understand and receive my sincere apology...huge ste for me! Also i met a guy, and after speaking with him, i felt ruminating... Well today I nicely explained to him he is not my type, and to please respect my decision. He understood and in a nice way said good bye... In the past i would be thinking what he might think, or the revenge he would use and and... All the fears from narcissistic abuse do melt down! Another situation is that even when programs or inner dialogues from the past try to tie me up... I de-tie myself up in a positive, healthy, holistic way.... Yes, my dear... We are all getting better! Thank you soo much for your positive efforts... And by the way, you look amazing! Kind regards to all the friends... ❤️💖🌹
Thanks for another great video! Could you maybe also make an additional video about female covert narcs and how they treat their best friends regarding silent treatments, ghosting, hoovering, etc? I’m currently discarded for the SECOND time by this particular friend but I am now on no contact for almost 3 months 🙏🏽I’m just wondering if this is the final discard..I would like to know this so I could potentially prepare myself to keep my guards up
From this I realize I'm heading in the right direction. My memory also was the best, until it wasn't! It has improved so much in a short space of time. It's truly well worth the time to recognize where you are at in order to continue the healing.
These kinda frustrates me at first (knowing that i’m far from these) but towards the end, these shed some light.. a hope that with perseverance these can be achieve and these things are real. thank you michelle for sharing your healing journey.
Howdy there Michele, Would you mind doing an living with intent journal workbook soon? I would love to do more of inner healing and work! Also this was an phenomenal video :>
Some times I feel like if I could just get some honest critique and honest sincere encouragement and tools in the important areas (not just compliment on looks) that my life would surely move forward. It would be nice to find people like this in real life in addition to helpful and informative online resources such as this.
I used to think there are no true people left. I then started to allow the possibility of it not being true.. If you start asking yourself many questions over your beliefs and truths, you may end up finding a few nuggets (or diamonds 😉)
I like the way you give so much of your time to help others...and the way those beautiful brown eyes light up when you smile...you are and absolute princess and an amazing woman... amazingly beautiful michelle
Thank you for this video. I was beginning to think this brain and mind damage was going to or might be permanent. Today I had a great deal of clarity with some trauma from my past. It was thrilling! To know I have a better than video memory and not have access to it to recall names even, that was scary. Just the other day I saw a post explaining damage to part of the brain because of PTSD and it hurt but it also revealed why I could not recall what I needed to in my daily living. Now today, I can see that coming back and seeing a clear path to go down now at least "now". I don't need to see where I will be tomorrow, it's nice to know where I am today.
I thought I was healing until I was forced to attend counseling with my narc. It has undone a lot of the healing I felt that I achieved over the past months. I used not to cry, now I cry often. I get angry about so many things. The narc is using this time to continue to gaslight and discredit me. He will say things like, “I can’t say this didn’t happen, but the facts are different than she is reporting.” All of the subtle undermining is maddening! He continues to gaslight me and try to make me cower in fear that somehow he has a pile of “evidence” of how terrible of a person I am. I know it’s BS, but I find myself questioning a lot - trying to remember the past nearly twenty years and everything I’ve done over that time.
I need help standing up to my over controlling parents its making me sad depressed, Im tired of lookingg over my shoulder all day loooooong I have lost my self esteem, self love, don't know who I am. Lost of self worth! I ask my self why do I even wake up everyday+?😞😞😒😠😠😠😠😭😭😭😭😭
Good news is that you figured this out early and can work it out before you find your person. Keep up with counseling, even youtube counseling will help. It's not YOU, it's THEM, projecting their own negative self esteem on to their offspring. You can get through this! ❤️
Yes, the emotional roller coaster of dysregulation. Sometimes it’s hard to find your Center after being knocked off balance throughout life. Practising being present in the moment, like mindful meditation or journaling is helpful. All the Best 🙏
Hi Michele If I were to sign up for the School of Transformation, is it ongoing or does it end after a certain amount of weeks? If it's for a certain amount of weeks, when does the next one start?
I'm sorry you feel that way - it does take time, that's absolutely true!! I think the hardest part is giving ourselves the patience and compassion needed as we work through the healing!!
Being able to identify that I am healing makes me feel good.
I hear you bro. It's good to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. On the path to recovery myself. Stay strong.
I'm only about at 50% but for me it feels free. And knowing that I can live without anyone. I may not want to but I can.
For the first one, my default emotion changed from fear where I was afraid of the narcissist and what they could or might have done and also a feeling of anger towards the narcissist thinking how could they hurt me and hurt other people? I'm much more joyous and happy now that I'm focusing on myself and my goals. I think I'm also more in the moment these days and thinking about the future. I'm happy to say that this is the first year in nearly 13 years that I haven't ruminated and I'm focusing my mind on other things, like online classes and hobbies. I feel like I'm becoming more authentic this year than I have ever been in my entire life and it's true that not everyone is going to like that. Being my authentic self is probably too much for some people, but I guess if we are too much for some people, we learn that those are just not our people and we will eventually find friends who are supportive and accept us for who we are.
I strongly agree with you... we must focus on our selves as authentic and who they will not accept our authenticity then we are not commitment to be with them, we can another find supportive people. ❤❤
Right now you are my therapist, because I don't have reasonable insurance. Thank you so much for being here helping people. You do an amazing job.
I lost everything but found myself in the process!!
There's only one winner here. 🖤
I'm in the spot where I obliterate anyone who crosses my boundaries. Getting better at that too though now after years.
I am in step no1 ; still people pleaser 🤫
@@Swisser70 thats ok. Awareness is really powerful when it comes to people pleasing. You'll get there. You will really start to notice when you are doing something authenticly and when you doing something to please someone else. Pick and choose accordingly and try not to apologize for saying no.
how do you mean obliterate though... in terms of not reacting or being easily provoked this doesn't seem ideal... isn't healthier more like saying to them 'what's up? do you have a problem? why are you acting strange?' without necessary stirring yourself up at all... just curious :))
@@ausroy087 i don't mean I actually obliterate them, but I will eliminate the relationship completely. Most of the problem is that I found myself surrounded my narcissists until I started realizing how terribly I was being treated. I dont get angry, but I will just completely turn off the relationship. No room for people who don't respect me. If that's some sort of problem, then its better than the former problems.
These principles are very reminiscent of eastern spiritual teachings that are seriously deep and help us to find inner peace. Thank you so much.🙏
I didn’t realize I was saying to myself what am I allowed to do. It’s mind blowing
Same here! It's really mind blowing!
Oh thank god thats normal i have huge memory gaps thought it was just another part of my normal, but it is apparently not
Same here! I have soooooo many gaps in my childhood memories!
When we are so concerned about others emotions and ignore ourselves, I believe THAT is what causes the gaps.
The same.
Yes this talk is really required , plz make more videos. It drives people in positive way. Really appreciated 👍
I'm still trying to find what my default emotion is...and I am 60!
Good job for identifying the problem. That's a start.
Past to remember Past to forget Living the Present without regret Thank you Michele for a little peace and harmony I get
I SO needed to hear what healing looks feels like. Thank youuuu 🙏🏾✨☺️
She's Looking Dazzling these Days, Is that a Glow I see?!!
Her look changes completely since she started . Change inside; every thing changes automatically
It is such an awesome feeling to realise that I am on a healing path. Thank you Michelle. Your experiences and knowledge are saving people. Be well and God bless you!
Literally saving lives. I almost didn't survive THIS
Thank you! I’m 3 years no contact am I swear I felt this weird sensation in my brain a few times. It kinda scared me at first but I heard a few survivors say something about it.
I don’t have brain fog, my brain works better than before. I’m reading more than I ever have. My body does not ache . No dark circles around my eyes and my weight is going down. Healing is interesting I’m better over all and I am at peace, but sometimes I have my days. It definitely got worse before it got better. I know my worth now 🤣
With this video you have given me and others a tool to self evaluate how we are progressing away from cptsd. Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate it!
Wow! How amazing I feel as if I am in my present when it comes to my past abuse with my husband. But my memory is so horrible! I can not even remember my marriage date. My mind goes completely blank. I hate that because I feel so ignorant very embarrassing.
As for friendships I honestly do not have any friends. It is lonely but it is safe. It keeps me secure and focused. I can focus on what's important.
Janelle M Medina,
I hear you. After experiencing trauma, we can get easily triggered from even the smallest daily stressors. Our brains can get tripped in flight or freeze mode to feel safe. Thankfully PTSD
is not an automatic life sentence with so many resources available to educate and overcome Trauma 🙏😅
Michele, Your authenticity is beeming from the video, thank you. Watching this video made me remember what healing feels like 💗💗💗💗. I would have found it hard not to hug you right now if we were in the same room! ☺️
Thank you So much Michele for your info & advice you provide for free. I am an Narcissit surviour who just got free of my Narccist I lived with for 26 years & went no contect which is a huge freedom of my life! I find your videos so informative and helpful on my healing journey moving forward from my past, Thank you so so much, your helping so many people ❤
I'm kind of worried because my life has still the dramatic ups and downs. I also find it really hard to trust that I'm good enough or my work is good enough.
It is true. You live in the moment when you are healing, you emotionally support yourself. Thank you Michelle.
I am a gamer and been one sense childhood. Im now 22 and when I say I never would imagine I would be so happy just simply playing my favorite videogame I mean that.
Am an Endodontist from India ... am slowly realising after seeing your videos, how complicated and difficult it is to understand human mind...
and u did it with soo nice 👍
Thank you for the empathy that you give us with your videos.
I'm a man so asking for the empathy I need isn't easy for me.
Your videos fill that hole to a certain extend.
Amazing video❤️❤️! Thank you so much!
Im not sure if this applies with the video at all, ive just starting watching it. But im really proud of this one thing im able to do now. My mom is my narc, and shes like one of the worst worst ones it feels like. Ive been able notice other relationships ive had that were mini ones of like me and my mom, it was rlly bad. But ive been able to get out of them, and sort of validate myself, even if its just a little bit by myself. It doesnt rlly work but ive been able to get out of the relationship and stay away from them 90% of the time. If ive forgotten and can feel myself saying "well im lonely, maybe they didnt mean it" etc trying to make excuses for them, i rewatch these videos and actually think again.. and the one thing that i tell myself that usually helps better is "you already have one u need a break" and AND another thing im proud of is that, ive not been in a relationship since my last very very god dang toxic one, and not bcuz im forcing it, im genuinely not lonely in that way anymore!! Like i dont care abt having a s.o !!! Im not aure if im just not interested in it or if im on the asexual spectrum, i feel i am though but in anycase, ive never been able to be happy alone in this way, and im very happy about it.
“ Being toxic people and it doesn’t touch you “ I will take it as a motto from this video
hopefully all narcissists watch this being believable for them to heal too . Even if they feel the victim. It’s more tricky ❤for change.
Prayers of love joy and healing .
Ty for your podcasts
Hi, Michelle! This video is absolutely refreshing!
Jusr yesterday i was not ruminating, but rather looking objectively in the past(which is something very different and positive)... Ad I saw a big misunderstanding, in which I was guilty... Well, instead of feeling toxic guilt, patiently I have been kindly analizing... In the understanding that if the person I unconsciously hurted is not a narcissist, she will totally understand and receive my sincere apology...huge ste for me!
Also i met a guy, and after speaking with him, i felt ruminating... Well today I nicely explained to him he is not my type, and to please respect my decision. He understood and in a nice way said good bye... In the past i would be thinking what he might think, or the revenge he would use and and... All the fears from narcissistic abuse do melt down!
Another situation is that even when programs or inner dialogues from the past try to tie me up... I de-tie myself up in a positive, healthy, holistic way.... Yes, my dear... We are all getting better! Thank you soo much for your positive efforts...
And by the way, you look amazing!
Kind regards to all the friends... ❤️💖🌹
Yes, yes and yes! Moving on!
Great video...most videos are of the latter
Thank you so much true healing is a process.
Thanks for another great video! Could you maybe also make an additional video about female covert narcs and how they treat their best friends regarding silent treatments, ghosting, hoovering, etc? I’m currently discarded for the SECOND time by this particular friend but I am now on no contact for almost 3 months 🙏🏽I’m just wondering if this is the final discard..I would like to know this so I could potentially prepare myself to keep my guards up
From this I realize I'm heading in the right direction. My memory also was the best, until it wasn't! It has improved so much in a short space of time. It's truly well worth the time to recognize where you are at in order to continue the healing.
Again another wonderful video full of wisdom for us traveling this journey out of and healing from toxic relationships. Thank you!!
Live your story as example always 💛
I'm understanding now I can't kill those bad feelings, I heal because I change the way I'm feeling or react differently, non defensively.
These kinda frustrates me at first (knowing that i’m far from these) but towards the end, these shed some light.. a hope that with perseverance these can be achieve and these things are real.
thank you michelle for sharing your healing journey.
Howdy there Michele, Would you mind doing an living with intent journal workbook soon? I would love to do more of inner healing and work! Also this was an phenomenal video :>
Some times I feel like if I could just get some honest critique and honest sincere encouragement and tools in the important areas (not just compliment on looks) that my life would surely move forward. It would be nice to find people like this in real life in addition to helpful and informative online resources such as this.
I used to think there are no true people left. I then started to allow the possibility of it not being true.. If you start asking yourself many questions over your beliefs and truths, you may end up finding a few nuggets (or diamonds 😉)
I like the way you give so much of your time to help others...and the way those beautiful brown eyes light up when you smile...you are and absolute princess and an amazing woman... amazingly beautiful michelle
You are amazing thanks for this video:)
TY Michele for focusing on the positive and providing Hope 🙏
There is light at the end of the tunnel 😅
Thank you for this video. I was beginning to think this brain and mind damage was going to or might be permanent. Today I had a great deal of clarity with some trauma from my past. It was thrilling! To know I have a better than video memory and not have access to it to recall names even, that was scary. Just the other day I saw a post explaining damage to part of the brain because of PTSD and it hurt but it also revealed why I could not recall what I needed to in my daily living. Now today, I can see that coming back and seeing a clear path to go down now at least "now". I don't need to see where I will be tomorrow, it's nice to know where I am today.
Such a kind soul😇
Thank you so much
I thought I was healing until I was forced to attend counseling with my narc. It has undone a lot of the healing I felt that I achieved over the past months. I used not to cry, now I cry often. I get angry about so many things. The narc is using this time to continue to gaslight and discredit me. He will say things like, “I can’t say this didn’t happen, but the facts are different than she is reporting.” All of the subtle undermining is maddening! He continues to gaslight me and try to make me cower in fear that somehow he has a pile of “evidence” of how terrible of a person I am. I know it’s BS, but I find myself questioning a lot - trying to remember the past nearly twenty years and everything I’ve done over that time.
She's lovely!
I need help standing up to my over controlling parents its making me sad depressed, Im tired of lookingg over my shoulder all day loooooong I have lost my self esteem, self love, don't know who I am. Lost of self worth! I ask my self why do I even wake up everyday+?😞😞😒😠😠😠😠😭😭😭😭😭
Good news is that you figured this out early and can work it out before you find your person. Keep up with counseling, even youtube counseling will help. It's not YOU, it's THEM, projecting their own negative self esteem on to their offspring. You can get through this! ❤️
keep on watching Michelle’s video and journal !! ❤️❤️
this video gave me so much hope. thank you.
Mine's just all mixed up messed up and spinning in circles one day I'm up next game down one day I'm glad the next day I'm sad
Yes, the emotional roller coaster of dysregulation. Sometimes it’s hard to find your Center after being knocked off balance throughout life. Practising being present in the moment, like mindful meditation or journaling is helpful. All the Best 🙏
Thank You 🌹🌹🌹.
I have started falling in love with Myself 🙂🙂🙂. Healing is here. I am Grateful 💗🙏🙏🙏💞💕💞
One of your best videos, Michelle ❤
I get nightmares. Further I Live in the present.
I am in proses of healing.i am Realy realted to everything you have mantioned ❤️thanks alot i am happy you have start to touch this subject of cpsd .
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽you explain things brilliantly. Thank you
Thanks 💐 You are awesome!
Please consider me for your free coaching course. My journey has been extremely long and difficult. I am ready now. Please.
This was extremely helpful!!!!!!! Thank you!!!
More dancing goof balls!! More cow bell!!
Now... Onto the video. Lol
Cptsd have almost ruined my lofe frankly speaking !!!!!
It's like a cop says once you see it you can't unsee it kind of ruins the magic trick as it were
you have radically present lovely
I have to flee when I'm around people who smoke. I don't think that will change.
I feel like this....
Amazing!
#8 - ..."when you're authentic, not everyone will like you..." ,what about when nobody likes you for being yourself 7:19
Is that a Himalayan lamp?
Hello my beautiful
More of these?!
Hi Michele
If I were to sign up for the School of Transformation, is it ongoing or does it end after a certain amount of weeks? If it's for a certain amount of weeks, when does the next one start?
So it is ongoing and you can start and stop whenever you choose =)
@@FromSurvivingToThriving
Thank you! 💖
Good morning Michele. Have you conceded expanding.
Please look into “The Clubhouse App.”
Also......I would rather follow you on Instagram. Do u?
Dear Michael I can't find the program I paid for please help.
💐💐💐
Ptsd cannot be healed!!!! I am trying for 2 years!!
I'm sorry you feel that way - it does take time, that's absolutely true!! I think the hardest part is giving ourselves the patience and compassion needed as we work through the healing!!
❤️❤️❤️
That shelf is giving me some kind of anxiety
💜♾️🙏🏼🕉️
"''I'm a swinger" Sorry thinking out loud. lol