Thanks for sharing Sally - I was diagnosed with bipolar mixed in 1981 when I was 18. Bipolar can be a living nightmare you can't wake up from but when the meds are right I can go years symptom free. You have your whole life ahead of you. And remember if you ever feel like giving up again it is always darkest before the dawn so hang in there. Hugs. Tommy O.
Beutiful words of hope. It is sometimes all that someone in this hard situation is looking for. My wife is facing this mixed episode, her psychiatrist still didn't find the right medication - but the hope that it will be found soon is what make us strong enough to face everything! Thank you for sharing!
Sally, you have so nicely described how I've felt so many times. In fact, how I feel right now, unfortunately. I really appreciate everyone that is brave enough to share their personal experiences with BD here for the rest of us. We all experience our disorders differently, but there is great solace, I think, in hearing others describe themselves and finding out we share more than we might think. Not feeling alone in with our challenges is so important and we need as much of that as possible. I'm bipolar 1, rapid cycling every 3 weeks or so, and last night I found myself awake until after 1 a.m. so I thought I was on the cusp of a manic episode. However, today it became painfully clear that it's a mixed episode, which is by far worse than the depression (which is extremely dark and deep at times) and the mania by themselves. These are the worst for most of us and sometimes it's downright unbearable. This is one of those times for me. I'm increasing my Oxcarbazepine to 1200mg or more, up to 2400mg day so at least I have that. But my wife and I are starting the separation process now, so this only makes things worse. Good times coming for sure. At least I'm out of my super-deep depression, for now. And I've been kicked down harder in life in the past. It always helps to remind myself that, as bad as I think I have it with my bipolar 1, there are many others out there who struggle more, unfortunately. Always helps to keep some perspective. Lastly, and so sorry for rambling, I want to share the secret formula for happiness I recently found: Happiness = Reality - Expectations It's simple but it's true and thinking about this can come in handy during some challenging times. I know it's an oversimplification, especially for us bipolar people, but it helps. Even if just a little, it helps. Thank for letting me vent.
What kind of medication are you on? I find dealing with it extremely difficult. It usually gets to me at night. It's the worst part and people who make me lose my sanity even more. They're always playing it down! "It's just your mind, control it!" Fuckers, I hope they'll get it someday.
Great explanation. I’m in a mixed state. I’m fortunate enough to live by the sea, so I just took a cold water swim in our local rock pool. Because of all that ‘energy’ I just kept swimming. I feel better now.
This is absolutely excellent.I learnt more from this girl than I do in psych books. She has a way of explaining that's so down to earth. She's obviously super intelligent. The 1 thing is her Aussie accent is so strong, but I watched it a few times and understand it!
Lexapro and a few beer binges put me into one. Sitting in a&e waiting to be admitted. I don't even have a diagnosis yet. I am so frustrated... now it will be my kids turn to care for me.. reverse roleplay
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
This video is the best. It absolutelly perfectly describes my mood state right now. I'm so sure now that I'm going through a mixed episode. I has also been put on antidepressant, conceretly sertraline (Zoloft) and this state came. I'm hospitalized right now. I went to hospital because of severe depression and then they put me on this antidepressant and I turned into a mixed state. However, I've never experienced full-blown mania in my life. I has been just depressed and hypomanic, but my hypomania lasted maximally a few days. Sometimes it was just hours. I don't know now, if I'm bipolar or not. My doctors also don't believe I'm going through a mixed state. It absolutelly frustrates me. What do you think, could I be bipolar? Also, thanks for the great video which has helped me so much.
Me too but some hospitals have a thing where if you reach a certain "status" you're allowed to go on passes with family members. Hospitals in countries like Australia are usually more lax than where I am (US) as well.
when I have a mixed episode i become all dramatic and angry. ever since I have been on a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic this intensity has greatly reduced. Since I am so open about my illness I actually posted a video on my channel of various mixed episodes I have been dealing with: ua-cam.com/video/GTVbJULM000/v-deo.html Little sleep, angry, irritable, manic, and hopelessness at the same time.
i havent taken therapy in years because of a bad experience when i was younger. but im starting to think i need therapy because i think i have bipolar disorder. for the past couple years i will have random weeks where ill get either really depressed, or really motivated. ive kinda told myself that it was normal for a long time, but ive never really known. i have a big problem with not being able to trust my emotions, because im scared of overreacting, so i dont really open up ever because of that. but this past week i think i had one of these mixed episodes. i spent the whole week in the worst mental state i think ive ever been in. but its weird, because nothing actually bad happened to me. if anything i was having a good week. but like out of no where i got really depressed, and i was overthinking, and i couldnt sleep, and i just felt crazy. on the first day i texted my friend about everything because i was just really stressed and needed someone to talk to. she was super supportive, and it helped me quite a bit. woke up the next day and everything just got even worse. i started to tell myself that everyone around me hated me, and that she was just lying to be the night before. and its so weird because i KNEW she didnt hate me. i do this sometimes where ill convince myself that people dont like me, but usually im able to snap out of it, or at least be okay until im better. but this time i was just completely losing it. i felt extremely guilty for even talking to her. this entire week was an absolute nightmare. and then one day i just woke up and i was fine. like it was really weird. the difference was very strange. like my head felt clear for the first time in like a week. it was really strange, and im starting to realize that i have a lot more problems than what ive been telling myself. i think i should start taking therapy again, because this week was really really bad, i even relapsed with self harm this week after nearly 2 years. idk its just strange. ive experienced stuff like this before, but it was so weird. i just was overthinking, and i felt so cloudy in my head, like i just could not for the life of me think straight. i just felt bad all the time, and i could not stop ranting on and on to myself. and im already a person who rants and overthinks a lot, but it was BAD this time. idk, im definitely gonna get therapy. but unfortunately im only 16 and i have to ask my mom, and honestly im terrified. i know she'll totally be okay with it, and she'll be supportive, but i just hate the feeling of people knowing stuff like that about me. im just really scared of her saying im overreacting, even though i know she'd never in a million years say that. idk, sorry i just felt like ranting.
I cried when you said that the nurses held you.. I need a hug
That's what I've needed in the past but the state pushes people away and hugging is the last thing they want to do.
Thank you. You are the first person I have heard mixed states accurately. Exactly how I experience them.
Thanks for sharing Sally - I was diagnosed with bipolar mixed in 1981 when I was 18. Bipolar can be a living nightmare you can't wake up from but when the meds are right I can go years symptom free. You have your whole life ahead of you. And remember if you ever feel like giving up again it is always darkest before the dawn so hang in there. Hugs. Tommy O.
Thank you for sharing this!
Beutiful words of hope. It is sometimes all that someone in this hard situation is looking for.
My wife is facing this mixed episode, her psychiatrist still didn't find the right medication - but the hope that it will be found soon is what make us strong enough to face everything!
Thank you for sharing!
Sally, you have so nicely described how I've felt so many times. In fact, how I feel right now, unfortunately. I really appreciate everyone that is brave enough to share their personal experiences with BD here for the rest of us. We all experience our disorders differently, but there is great solace, I think, in hearing others describe themselves and finding out we share more than we might think. Not feeling alone in with our challenges is so important and we need as much of that as possible.
I'm bipolar 1, rapid cycling every 3 weeks or so, and last night I found myself awake until after 1 a.m. so I thought I was on the cusp of a manic episode. However, today it became painfully clear that it's a mixed episode, which is by far worse than the depression (which is extremely dark and deep at times) and the mania by themselves. These are the worst for most of us and sometimes it's downright unbearable. This is one of those times for me.
I'm increasing my Oxcarbazepine to 1200mg or more, up to 2400mg day so at least I have that. But my wife and I are starting the separation process now, so this only makes things worse. Good times coming for sure. At least I'm out of my super-deep depression, for now. And I've been kicked down harder in life in the past. It always helps to remind myself that, as bad as I think I have it with my bipolar 1, there are many others out there who struggle more, unfortunately. Always helps to keep some perspective.
Lastly, and so sorry for rambling, I want to share the secret formula for happiness I recently found: Happiness = Reality - Expectations
It's simple but it's true and thinking about this can come in handy during some challenging times. I know it's an oversimplification, especially for us bipolar people, but it helps. Even if just a little, it helps.
Thank for letting me vent.
What kind of medication are you on?
I find dealing with it extremely difficult. It usually gets to me at night. It's the worst part and people who make me lose my sanity even more. They're always playing it down! "It's just your mind, control it!" Fuckers, I hope they'll get it someday.
Great explanation. I’m in a mixed state. I’m fortunate enough to live by the sea, so I just took a cold water swim in our local rock pool. Because of all that ‘energy’ I just kept swimming. I feel better now.
This is absolutely excellent.I learnt more from this girl than I do in psych books. She has a way of explaining that's so down to earth. She's obviously super intelligent.
The 1 thing is her Aussie accent is so strong, but I watched it a few times and understand it!
Antidepressant triggered a mixed state in me too 💀
Me too I can't even think I cant even sit still..I hate antidepressants
Lexapro and a few beer binges put me into one. Sitting in a&e waiting to be admitted. I don't even have a diagnosis yet. I am so frustrated... now it will be my kids turn to care for me.. reverse roleplay
The trouble about moving somewhere else is you take yourself with you. I still have suicidal thoughts.
Thank you so much for this video. It calms me down to know that this state will get over.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for this, I've recently been diagnosed with bi polar mixed states. It's scary, I'm thinking of writing a book about it ❤
leave antidep. You should do this cautiously though. Can't do it in one go.
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
3 days out of very long term mixed episode. Tired but circumspect
We will be better prepared next time.
This video is the best. It absolutelly perfectly describes my mood state right now. I'm so sure now that I'm going through a mixed episode. I has also been put on antidepressant, conceretly sertraline (Zoloft) and this state came.
I'm hospitalized right now. I went to hospital because of severe depression and then they put me on this antidepressant and I turned into a mixed state.
However, I've never experienced full-blown mania in my life. I has been just depressed and hypomanic, but my hypomania lasted maximally a few days. Sometimes it was just hours.
I don't know now, if I'm bipolar or not. My doctors also don't believe I'm going through a mixed state. It absolutelly frustrates me.
What do you think, could I be bipolar? Also, thanks for the great video which has helped me so much.
How are you now after 6 years?
I was diagnosed with bipolar two, but i felt like it didn’t quite fit. Should i tell my psychiatrist i think i might be this mixed state?
You can have mixed states in bipolar 2, though! All bipolar people can experience depression, hypo/mania, and potentially, mixed states.
Using this to help my fiancé understand thank you so much ❤️
I’ve been hospitalized eight times, usually for ten day stretches. I’ve never been allowed out during a stay to go for a drive.
Me too but some hospitals have a thing where if you reach a certain "status" you're allowed to go on passes with family members. Hospitals in countries like Australia are usually more lax than where I am (US) as well.
Thank you. I can relate.
when I have a mixed episode i become all dramatic and angry. ever since I have been on a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic this intensity has greatly reduced.
Since I am so open about my illness I actually posted a video on my channel of various mixed episodes I have been dealing with: ua-cam.com/video/GTVbJULM000/v-deo.html
Little sleep, angry, irritable, manic, and hopelessness at the same time.
Are you still getting them though?
Yes that bad it is.
antidep can cause bipolarity
Volume is too low. I can't hear you.
Wow I’m going through this right now! Grrrrrrr
You feel better know? Are you on medication?
I do the hell out of long walks.
How long does your mixed state last on average if I may ask? Thank u :)
got it, thank you!
i havent taken therapy in years because of a bad experience when i was younger. but im starting to think i need therapy because i think i have bipolar disorder. for the past couple years i will have random weeks where ill get either really depressed, or really motivated. ive kinda told myself that it was normal for a long time, but ive never really known. i have a big problem with not being able to trust my emotions, because im scared of overreacting, so i dont really open up ever because of that. but this past week i think i had one of these mixed episodes. i spent the whole week in the worst mental state i think ive ever been in. but its weird, because nothing actually bad happened to me. if anything i was having a good week. but like out of no where i got really depressed, and i was overthinking, and i couldnt sleep, and i just felt crazy. on the first day i texted my friend about everything because i was just really stressed and needed someone to talk to. she was super supportive, and it helped me quite a bit. woke up the next day and everything just got even worse. i started to tell myself that everyone around me hated me, and that she was just lying to be the night before. and its so weird because i KNEW she didnt hate me. i do this sometimes where ill convince myself that people dont like me, but usually im able to snap out of it, or at least be okay until im better. but this time i was just completely losing it. i felt extremely guilty for even talking to her. this entire week was an absolute nightmare. and then one day i just woke up and i was fine. like it was really weird. the difference was very strange. like my head felt clear for the first time in like a week. it was really strange, and im starting to realize that i have a lot more problems than what ive been telling myself. i think i should start taking therapy again, because this week was really really bad, i even relapsed with self harm this week after nearly 2 years. idk its just strange. ive experienced stuff like this before, but it was so weird. i just was overthinking, and i felt so cloudy in my head, like i just could not for the life of me think straight. i just felt bad all the time, and i could not stop ranting on and on to myself. and im already a person who rants and overthinks a lot, but it was BAD this time. idk, im definitely gonna get therapy. but unfortunately im only 16 and i have to ask my mom, and honestly im terrified. i know she'll totally be okay with it, and she'll be supportive, but i just hate the feeling of people knowing stuff like that about me. im just really scared of her saying im overreacting, even though i know she'd never in a million years say that. idk, sorry i just felt like ranting.