Don't Quit! A Jiu-Jitsu Conversation with BJJ After 40 Black Belt Mike' Spider Ninja' Bidwell
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- In this video I talk about what to do if you feel like you are going to quit your jiu-jitsu journey.
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one year of bjj
have only submitted twice.
been submitted infinite times.
Just hearing this at the right moment. 53 years old and just started on my journey in BJJ, banged up all the time, a real gut check. Thank you for this!
Started at age 47, now 49, still a white belt. I down't have what it takes to quit but I don't seem to have what it takes to progress either. So frustrating to be so bad at something you really like, work hard at, and want to be good at. I've made peace with the fact that I suck, it's ok, I get a lot of life lessons from the mat that I apply to the outside world. Still waiting for a breakthrough.
Are you still a white belt?
@@Blueblackngold Actually, went on to get a blue belt. Funny what can happen when you don't give up!
@@crossbass7 are you close to purple?
Keep going brother its all about the struggle, till its not
J @Blueblackngold no I'm a travel nurse now - so its been difficult to stay consistent, especially in small towns. I have joined a judo gym that incorporates BJJ@@Blueblackngold
I started after 40, 46 to be exact. I love it.
Right on man, I'm 45 and thinking of starting, hows it going, you still at it?
@@tgdb4968 still going strong. I had to take some time away due to daughters cancer, but started last week again. My dojo even brought in Louie Cervedez from California and had a free seminar for donations just for her. Just pacing myself and hopefully soon I will be in the blue belt mafia.
@@thelurker9472 Bless ya man, sorry to hear your daughters poorly.
Good on you for sticking with it, I emailed a local club today and i'm hoping to start next week, I got loads of injury's but i HAVE to give it a try!
I come across this video just when I'm about to quit, that's a sign that I must continue despite my doubts, my injuries, my sadness when I see my fellow partners training and having fun, progressing while I'm not. So much frustration! Thank you for this video. I'm 43.
im wear you at now
@@Striker4646 Did you quit? I've quit BJJ at 4 different schools over the last 10 years.
Similar situation with me.
How s your bjj journey so far🤙🏾?
What kind of injuries?
So I've been training almost 4 years and was just recently promoted to purple belt this year. I am also turning 40. My son was born last year around this time and ever since then my training has not been consistent, I found just enough time to get promoted to purple being a blue belt for 2 or so years. But... both my wife and I have had a pretty hectic work schedule and finding the time to train has been tough--especially now with a toddler ! My son also doesn't sleep through the night. So I am constantly tired and drained all the time. I really don't have the energy or have to work late. I trained once in the last month. Many times I felt like I want to quit. But I love it so much... I can't never. Even if I only go once a month. I get anxious when I go back and only drill--afraid to get crushed by the bigger guys rolling. Or be embarrassed to get tapped. I find the promotion as a hindrance. Like I I have to prove myself now that I am purple belt. But I'm just a regular guy --not trying to compete. Anyway--sorry for the rambling. Thanks for the vid. It really helps...
frrok1- aquascaping thank you for your honesty. I find that most schools are everyday dudes who work hard for their families,sacrifice and still come and train. Thank you for being on the mat! Thank you for being a good dad and husband. OSS 🙏
frrok1- aquascaping i'm with yu dude. my daughter gets two next month and she gets her last four teeth :-D incredible how less humans need to slepp and get up and do their shit. i want to give you a tip... wheat grass in the morning, maca root, and a clear vegan diet helps a LOT.
Chris N. thanks guys. That's one thing I've been trying to control is my diet. I'm a vegetarian and getting close to being vegan. When my diet is on point I feel better even when I'm not training as much. Thanks for the advice bro !
No embarrassment in getting tapped! Stay strong... 1 session a month is better than NONE!
frrok1
You’re going to have so much from your journey. You’ll be able to train with your son!
Ive trained TKD with my daughter since 2011 and just before Christmas last year she earned her 1st Dan. Some of our greatest memories are traveling around the country competing in tournaments.
I love TKD but a couple months ago I began my BJJ journey and the rush I get when I roll is completely different. So cool. Being crushed constantly is very humbling but it’s kind of fun in its own way.
Family is incredibly important but what you are teaching them is equally so.
I think one of the greatest things you can teach your children is the challenge of accepting difficult tasks. The hardships we endure develop our strength of character.
i started judo with 6.when i was 7 my dad run away and i had to quit judo. now i'm 33 and i do jiu jitsu for about a year (traditional and brazilian) and for me.. the whole world can divorce or quit or run where ever they want to run :-D i never quit jiu jitsu. i will do this till i die old. jiu jitsu saved my live and my soul. it focused my and grounded me, where i needed te most help. i have no family, except my lovely wife and child. so life is fucking hard in this society when yu have to stand alone for them.. the jiu jitsu community/FAMILY picked my up and saved me. now will give something back
Chris N. I feel the same way. I owe jiujitsu everything. It's like a good friend who saved my life... oss
thanks for your response. yeah it's like that. a good friend. i never met a community, that is soooo incredible nice, humble and full of heart. i mean i know other styles group of people who come together for some reason and jiu jitsu is something very very special. oss
I'm 49. training for just 6 months. I'm constantly getting crushed and tapping. Everyone in my academy is better then me! I get the feeling I want to quit all the time, every week. I have no serious injuries, so I just keep going 1-2 days/week...hoping I will have a break through. good video...thanks!
You can do it man keep at it and believe in yourself
well duh, because they train longer :D, im a bit younger also been training for 6 months but it's normal that we get crushed sometimes cuz people have been grappling for years and I/we just started...
Not only a good, qualified coach, but a place where you see guys on the mat helping each other and building their game together. That's even rarer. I started at one place where the guys were only concerned with tapping their opponent...their team mate. They were wannabe MMA guys, so I bolted quickly. I moved to my current academy where I am consistently learning from other white, blue, and purple belts in every class. Do I get tapped by the blue and purple belts? All the time. But they actually take the time and say, "hey, you put your hand on the mat here." Or, "when you stalled here I took the opportunity to move you here." I'm about to be 41, I've made it to a 3 stripe white belt in a relatively short time, and I'm doing my first NAGA event in July. I consistently go home with bruises, sore muscles, and back pain, but I take a day or two off and I head back in to learn more because I know the people I roll with aren't out to just destroy me every time I hit the mat. It's hard with a family, a job, bills, and other responsibilities, but jiujitsu has become my stress reliever and my personal time to focus on my own mental and physical health.
Thank you for this Mr Forty.
I recently had a 2 month lay off due to work. Before that I was feeling unsure about BJJ. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep getting better, but I didn't have the motivation to go, I was looking for lousey excuses not to go. During my lay off, I felt this depression and uneasyness inside of me. I felt my confidence drop, I felt weak. I instantly felt 100% better as soon as I signed back up, but the next week I felt unmotivated again, but I know I can't give up, I'll just have that unstatisfaction inside of me. I didn't know what to do till I watched this video: "don't give up, keep pushing on". I force myself to go somedays, I never regret it when I'm taking off my Gi. But the first step is always the hardest.
Thanks again BJJ After Forty.
Keep pushing on guys, don't give up.
My jiu jitsu journey has been very short thus far. It has been 6 months of sweat and at times tears. I started totally out of shape and not knowing what to expect. I have been in the mind set of giving up so often just because it was hard for me. This video resonated to me greatly. It is getting easier and I feel I push myself. I was rewarded my second stripe on my white belt last week. This is my passion even though sometimes I want to quite and give up. Thank you for this video!
I'm 53 and I have been training jiu jitsu for almost 0ne year. We had to stop due to covid and I have been back since 2 months ago only this time training once a week. I feel I never make any progress and not sure why I have not quitted yet, maybe because stubbornness is my signature. I just hope I will find the lead at some point. great video.
I am 38 (purple belt, almost 10 years of training), 2 years after knee sugrery, 1 year after rebabilitation.I returned to training at the beginning of 2019. And it was the worst training year I've ever had. Fear of re-injury, frustration, lack of progress and loss of motivation to train. Two months ago I stopped training at all. I don't know if I'll ever be back, I feel like I'm at a crossroads .... Thank you for this clip, it gives a lot of hope for the future. I think I will have to work hard on my fears and try to overcome them.
I've hit a wall in training and am still working through some issues to clarify my why to discover my how. Thank You for your honesty & candor on your Jiu Jitsu discovery and journey. Much Love & Respect ---
Thanks, man! Your words come from a true master.
I'm a proud 40 years old White Belt and in my heart I will always be a white belt. Just a few months ago I was about to quit BJJ. The reason? My right shoulder dislocates every time I do any wrong movement even if I'm just chilling on my sofa at home. It hurts so much every time... physically and mentally. Last summer, while rolling at school the inevitable happened and I had to be away from training for a full month. People sometimes don't understand that I can't say TAP on time to avoid it; it snaps way before the pain and only then it hurts as f...ck when it's too late.
My return to class was terrible, I was terrified to the idea of dislocating my shoulder again and even today I still am. I'm even scared to death for my left shoulder despite it never ever dislocated before. The thing is, I've learn a lot lately to adjust my game to avoid risks and I've been doing well so far. I know it might happen again but life outside the mats isn't out of risks for me either.
Rolling with this limitation and fear put me in the bottom every single time and it also cripples my attempts to get out of the bad spots, not to mention I'm a white belt. Life seems so hard when I'm down there. It sucks but I've noticed that slowly I'm getting better and more confident. I start to strongly believe I can make it, it will just take a little longer for me than for most people.
I understand today that I'm practicing BJJ because I love it, it challenges me and makes a better, stronger man out of me. How could I quit now, with this new understanding?
Thanks for your words, teacher! I absolutely relate to your speech.
OSS!
Yuset Suarez thank you for sharing your story. OSS 🙏
Hi Mike. I have been listening to you for about 5 years now, starting when I was a noob white belt. Listening to this particular monologue provides me with enough psychological room to realize some grace. That progress may be slow, but it is such a blessing to train and be on the path. Great post.
Great man. I had a bad couple of weeks. Cranked my big toe one class, then jumped into a tournament at 47 having just trained about 4 months, got smashed and broke a finger. Then last class pretty bad ankle sprain. Been feeling like I haven't been making any progress and generally life has felt a bit shit the last while. But like you say, it's part of life and that introspection is happening and I'm getting some perspective. Love the art, just have to check my head and find a way to make it work. Peace.
Turned 65 last month ...year three . Having too much fun to quit despite an 86% disability from the VA here.
42yr old 4 stripe white belt I really needed to hear this OSS
About 2014 mid 40's I think. I quit jiu-jitsu at 2 stipe white belt. For me its was progression moving up. People passing me up. I thought it was clicks . I didn't know about or better insight of The Journey. Life happened. Marriage ect... it was from a motivation video of jiu-jitsu. That show me the journey and what I should expect. This beautiful vibe and pull that brought me back. 2021 I was promoted to blue belt. What was more important. Jiu-jitsu didn't go anywhere. My Brother's always welcome me back!!! I start to feel like I belong. A family. Brother Hood. If anyone that has mindset to quit. Don't please don't. You will regret this 100% keep Training and issues will get better. You will feel better inside your spirit and soul. I went though this. Love you guys. Oss.
Yep I got two severed ACL's extensive meniscus damage, a torn shoulder, and I've broke just about everything else at one time or another too. Oops gotta go now, open mats in an hour. No worries though, I got one good arm still :) It'll do.
Thanks for this video...I might have a torn shoulder labrum..and it sucks man the past 2 months I haven't been able to hug or pick up my kid...and it sucks...it broke my heart..but then I think about all the positive things that this sport has brought to my life and hopefully once my shoulder gets better I will be able to keep on going on my BJJ journey.
Justin Huang I went through two shoulder surgeries within 3 years early in my bjj career. I know the frustration. Mental reps for now. Stay positive. When you do return to the mats. Be mindful of working your way back. Play guard snd develop your lower limb game (open guard). Happy healing 🙏
I've actually kept on training. One arm tied to my belt. I'm awaiting my MRI results which should come after the 4th of July. I actually play a lot of open guard already I had an ac joint sprain on my left shoulder so I've adapted my game. The labrum tear happened actually from me trying to adapt more of a top game.
I keep forgetting that we are doing a sport where we are actively trying to lock or submit someone. My focus when I started bjj was to lose weight and I have successfully done so 235 lbs to 165 lbs. I have always kept a mentality of just staying healthy and learning how to solve problems however this recent injury made me question my approach.
I unfortunately rolled with a guy who rolls like if he's fighting on the street. It isn't the first time I've rolled with him and when I started out he would literally smash me. But now I've been able to take care of his aggressiveness easily and make him pay for it. The main thing I regret from my torn labrum is that I should not have taken my foot off the gas. I already caught him 5 times in 5 minutes. I felt kind of bad the last minute so while on the top position I slightly glanced at the clock to see how much time was left so I could just hold a dominant position and wait out the clock and that's when he flipped me over with his strength and I landed on my shoulder...
The time that I've been injured made me question my whole approach and whether I should be rolling like I'm fighting for my life and constantly going for the kill instead of being so civilized when I roll. Whether I should quit or not because I won't be able to take care of my family if I get seriously injured.
Definitely not being able to play airplane, piggy back and or even pick up my kids with my right arm...broke my heart the most.
Anyways, thank you again for the video and your reply. Your videos are inspirational to me and my wife who both do BJJ.
Just the right video to watch.. don't know how i stumbled on this but.i did.. yeah going through some financial issues.. but i told the teachers about my situation..and they still let me train.. im still quite new though.. but i almost train everyday even 2-3 times a day.. cause in so in love with it.. this video is awsome and has been inspiring.. thank u..
Thank you for openly sharing your deeply philosophical and personal approach to jiu-jitsu professor.
I just got done debating with myself about quitting BJJ, not because i didn't like training, or my ego, or even the possibility of getting injured. I had this debate because i thought it would take away from my training and work. I do a very strict periodization training that requires daily work outs and sometimes two a days depending on the training cycle, on top of recovery for continued training at 100%, college and my construction job. All were valid excuses for me to quit BJJ till I could find the time to fit it in. I realize now that BJJ can be a break from my studies or work. It does not need to be a high level workout, adjust the intensity for the day, and learn.
Thanks for the video and prospective!
🤙🏽 great talk 🙏🏽
King Ralph thank you. OSS
Jiu-Jitsu needs more practitioners like you. I'm planning on quitting my BJJ school, I see no point in continuing. I rarely learn anything useful and I'm positive they discriminate against wrestlers and in shape sportsmen. outside of class I've been going to open mats around my city and learn more from that than the school I go to. I shouldn't be tapping out blue or purple belts as a 2 stripe white belt regularly. The problems I've run into with BJJ: belt system with lax requirements, favoritism in students (who goes to the most seminars or buys apparrell), cliques between upper belts, money hungry instructors who could care less about class and spend too much time 'travelling' and more. I might have had a bad experience, but I won't quit practicing jiu jitsu and grappling in general. Im just going to go to wrestling club and will keep going to open mats. Maybe my path is to be a lone practitioner for now. I hope you all enjoy safe and smart training.
I'm glad you're wrestling but I wish you would give Jiu-Jitsu another chance it's a great path... There are many schools and many instructors...you may have to hunt around but the search is worth it. Either way... Good luck and happy training!
Thanks for the response! Will do, you have a great channel keep the vids coming!
Thank you, Mike. You just saved bjj for me, a 45yr old 3 stripe white belt about to grade for my blue belt.
Tobiwan Kenobi absolutely oss Ninja
I've also been stuck in a rut as of late. Blue belt 2 months in. But I've started making silly mistakes and it's like nothing is working anymore. But I've done something which has helped me big time. I've been training sports Bjj for two years but now I'm goin to a class where the dojo is teaching Gracie combatants self defense bjj and I love it. For those of you who are thinking of quiting don't as you will feel worse. Just switch up your training and maybe go to classes where bjj is taught as self defense rather than points based comp training. Peace
You are awesome, Thank you for the words!
Diogo oss
I quit bjj after many injuries that I carried from boxing, the most painful is on my neck, lots of migraines... is going to be 1 year now, and I feel much better, I am 46 now, but I miss bjj , also I was happy because everyone on the class was telling me that I was a faster learner, bjj is great, so much friendly than boxing, excuse my English! good video
Thank you. I needed this today. This can be applied to many other areas of life as well.
When I started 7 month ago this was absolutely fun. Learning something new everyday. Pushing myself to be able to do something as simple as lasting through the 20 minute warm up. The last few weeks have absolutely not been fun at all.
I feel like screw it. This isn't working the way I wanted it to. I'm not where I feel I should be. Nothing I do is right. Coaches are not happy with my technique, even if I try and do/fix what they say. I feel like I am being broken mentally and crushed physically. I don't know If its from putting to much pressure on myself because I am preparing for a competition or some other factor.
You still going?
Needed this vid today.thanks
great discussion! it seems like at some point in our journey "life happens" and we are all faced with this decision! Thanks for speaking about your path to black and why it was necessary for you to take the path you took in order to be successful for your specific situation!
Thank you very much, God bless you
52 this year been training 7 plus years, training twice a week solidly, blue belt, keep getting passed over by people training half the time. Pretty much at the end of the road.
Looks like this video has been out for over a year now, but i just found it today. I am 40 this year, and just started training around 2 months ago. I have been trying to make at least 1 - 2 classes a week. I am COMPLETELY new to the game. I go from highs to lows. I love the exertion, the challenge, and learning. I feel SOOOO outclassed though. At my gym, the basics class is almost all kids (8-15) so I end up going to the advanced class with the adults. Most are blue+ with a few more advanced white belts. The drills are usually advanced techniques that, while i find interesting, I have no clue how to implement in a real situation. When we roll i usually just get demolished by everyone. I want, no scratch that, need the basics. Escapes, transitions, positioning, etc. I don't need to know how to do a shoulder throw to an arm bar...i need to know how to get you off of my face when i am stuck on the ground. I ended up rolling with our black belt instructor last night (just worked out that way). He basically would start each engagement easy, let me get some sort of position, then completely destroy me. Wrist locks, knee bars, arm bars, you name it...No feedback, just BLAM...your dead...My wrists are still sore this morning. Last night i finally had enough, I came home super dejected and feeling like it wasn't for me. Maybe i chose the wrong school, maybe i am in the wrong sport, i don't know. This morning, i don't want to quit, but i still feel like i need to figure out my spot. I prepaid a year at this place after going for a month. I don't want to lose the money, and honestly, i kind of like the guys there...i am just not sure they are the ones to be teaching complete newbies. I am not quitting...maybe most academies are like this and you just need to stick with it and fit in...not sure...i just feel like i am jumping in a roaring river and id like to start in a small brook first. Thanks for the video.
I’m almost quit about a month ago. Sick of it, no reason to do it. Then, last week I went back. Beat a black belt and a brown belt (I’m 2 stripe white). Now, I’m on fire. It is time to seek and destroy😎
Guys don't give up! BJJ is a tough sports but a beautiful art! I'm 40 years old white belt started 2 weeks ago. I train 3 to 4 times a week and getting smashed by younger guys. Most of the guys in our gym are high skilled that compete in the tournament. I enjoy rolling with blue belt or higher belt as they pretty much know how to handle you. If you tell them that you are beginner, they do understand and will help you with your position, moves, etc. Just relax and don't panic especially when you are on guard position, train smart and learn how they move. Please do not over complicate things. Learn the basic and fundamentals and stopped watching the advanced topics on youtube. The key is, you have to know your body. Not all technique is applicable to every individual. For example, if you are lanky, then please look for instructional videos of Keenan Cornelius. However, if you are small like me. Then look for Ryan Hall or Marcelo Garcia. For more tips and advice please check Chewjitsu.
What belt are you now?
Is great talk but then you have to look for a great coach and good gym and this are hard to find. You get hurt even just training.
Hector Gonzalez I agree. Whenever possible find a good, qualified coach! Stay on the mats. OSS
There's that Indian parable about these 4 brothers that ate some hash one night and wanted to row across some lake to an island. So they get into their row boat and start rowing. The story is colourful, but I'll just get to the gist, they row and row and row, sweating and switching, and motivating each other not to quit, to row harder, to push harder, to overcome it. But the island doesn't seem to get any closer. Finally, by the time the morning sun starts to rise, they realize in the dawn of light, the boat is tied to the dock. And so it goes... the importance of right knowledge. There's many things that may be wrong. I spent 5 years as a white belt. Then 10 at blue. Now 5th year at purple.
Inspiring! Thank you for sharing.
The Art Will Adapt To You! | Profound Dear Sir! | Multiplied Blessings & Many Thanks From Mindanao!
I started BJJ at 50 yo, 2 years ago. I"m 130 lbs. Needless to say that the combination was not good and all I accomplished was a variety of injuries: dislocated a rib (4 month recovery), tore a calf (2 month recovery), dislocated an elbow (1 month), severely dislocated a thumb (4 months recovery), plus several other minor injuries.
So I decided it was not worth it and quit two months ago. I still lift weight and do kick boxing for cardio.
If you're 40, 50 yo and want to start BJJ you can do it as long as you don't have significant preexisting injuries or you're light, otherwise you'll have it a lot harder.
Everything never all works at once with me. Yanked my ligaments in my knee a month ago. Still limping but still rolling. Life mentally crushes me so I get crushed in JJ too but in JJ I can practice relatively safely. Real life stuff can be a different story. I can live with yanked ligaments. I won't quit (anymore). Got my blue now at 43. Got it at like 22 but quit for 2 decades. I now roll like 4 days /week average going on 1 year. Always studying. Constantly progressing. Plan to have my black belt by 50. Or just be really dang good despite health challenges
Promoted to blue belt in August this year. as a white belt, I really saw the improvement quick. almost as soon as I got the blue, my game has really felt stagnate. Feel like I'm not progressing, but I'm training the game amount as I was as a white. I have been pretty much training with the same guys the whole time and I was really staying up with them. I am significantly older than them, I am 47, and majority fo the rest of the team are in their 20's. If I really look hard, there are some things that I can see are getting a little more consistent when I do the move. Im trying hard to not focus on subbing in my rolls, however that is how I was evaluating my progress as a white belt. I'm definitely not wanting to quit, I've come to far for that, but Would like to see a little more progress though.
Thanks for the video. It's a timely video because this is a particularly hard time right now. I started a year ago as a not particularly athletic 41 year old, smallest guy in class. I suffered a groin injury and I still struggle to make any technique on anyone. I have to give myself the "just keep going" pep talk before each class. Last week my ACL was destroyed in training, so I'm at this especially dark place right now. When I'm better, probably months from now, I'll have to face the question of quitting.
This is a time for clarity... good luck and happy healing. :)
I tap for losing control to avoid injury. I struggle to control and flow
Thank you professor, very strong you are!
I started at 40 really began to take it seriously about 8 months ago. I love it and I have submitted a few people actually but mostly get my ass beat.
I just started my journey. I am 53 years old, 215 pounds of marshmallow fluff, and get destroyed after every class. I have moments where I hit techniques after one or two tries, and I have moments like last night where I have two left feet and forget everything. I woke up this morning frustrated, but I had to remind myself...this isn't supposed to be easy. Change isn't meant to be easy...change can be uncomfortable and even painful. When the doubts and negative self-talk grow louder, you know that shadow side is losing control of you. I wanted change, and well I am getting it whether I like it or not lol.
I am going to continue to go to class--even when I don't "feel" like it--it's those times when you need to go. I will have beginner's mind, I will watch and absorb, and I will be the first to try a technique or a sequence even though I may not have the strength, stamina, and may just plain fail. The thing is that I am trying it and I will continue to try, and fail, and try again. Thank you for this video.
Man, you are very cool, your channel is amazing.
Thank you for your video. Going to try to break through it beginning today. Wish me luck
Been training for a year and a half, did badly at my first comp and now I'm suffering from severe claustrophobia anyone crushes me. I feel like I can never get to top mount and always end up in the bottom. At this exact moment I'm really considering quitting because I can't see the progress.
48yro and just sprained my wrist after the 8th class....aside from injuries I think the most discouraging thing is hearing about 3-4 year white belts (which is just crazy/stupid to me) that are a lot younger than me and go more often. I can only go 2x per week...it seems like the process is far too slow, with that amount of time, I could get good at 5 other things. I have a martial arts background and white belt is a beginner's belt, and if you have been doing something regularly for 3-4 years, whether its sports, martial arts, or any hobby, you are in no way a beginner, actually closer to an expert, so there is a problem there.
I’m 23 and purple belt and I don’t even know how long I’ll be doing this for
I am 42 started late... its been 3 years so far. I remember a year ago i was confident and had a few techniques that worked well. Now its been a year since i am a blue belt and i am stock in what i call a « blue belt clusterfuck ».
i ve learned a good quantity of techniques but i feel that i m not really good anymore cause i m lost in all that choice. Before i had just a few techniques and managed to do them perfectly. I guess i have to do a clean up and know what works for me.
Great video.
Great words and advice. Thank you so much for this Sir.
OosS.
What about when it is no longer fun? I always hear about go when you don't feel like it and you won't regret it. I have been finding that it's no longer fun, and I'm dreading going and I do regret it after I'm done and driving home.
Thank you, needed that oss
muy motivacional ...Thanks from Córdoba Argentina
I don't feel it anymore. I truly don't want to go back cause I feel it doesn't bring me joy anymore.
Too bad to hear. Happy life friend. As an aside “Jiu-jitsu is for everyone!” No, jiu-jitsu is for the brave few who utilize it to break past their self imposed barriers. On the other side is something truly magical. Oss
@@bjjafter40 it was cool before you mentioned the bravery bullshit dude , what made you have to say that to me ? grappling doesn't make you a better person. I challenge myself with other activities .
why you assume you are braver just because you do grappling instead of basketball or fencing or swimming ?
It's just a sport .and I feel sorry for you how fragile you are that your self worth is attached to a sport. By implying BJJ os for the "brave few" means if I like rock climbing or chess or boxing the I'm not brave? ...how dumb and false that is .
You could have been respectful at first but you had to mention some bullshit about bravery to like bring others down? ..dumb as fuck.
Yeah firefighters, or other sportsmen aren't brave because they don't grapple? according to your logic the only hardship worth enduring is what makes you able to impose your bullying attitude on others....
i am 48 yrs old and I can't recover or train more than 3 days a week. I am in constant pain. right now my left foot has arthoritis and my right thumb has been injured for a month now. I am getting tired of injuries but I keep pushing. I am not sure how many more years I have left. I am a brown belt now. I love to compete but I can't train hard
hi.. I'm 64 been training since I was 8 karate boxing tkd swimming yoga cali. gymnastics still train daily 2 hours... very very flexible. AM I TOO OLD TO START BJJ?
52 blue belt- lost at all 3 matches at first tournament- feel like retiring!
I lost every match as a white belt for the first three tournaments. I’m a black belt… glad I didn’t quit
Thanks, Brother.
thanks for the inspiration
13 years at Brown? Shit. I am 53 and a blue. If that is how long it will take, I doubt I will live long enough to get a black belt. Guess I need to lower my goals significantly..... or carry a gun for self defense......
Muy buen video ! buenas palabras.....gracias (very good video ...good words Thanks !
47 year old white belt here. Training for 9 months. Lots of pain and almost no success in jiu-jitsu. Thought I would love it but starting to hate it.
m hall stick with it. Progress isn’t measured against who you face on the mats. It’s measured against who you are and how you’ve evolved mentally emotionally and physically in that time. How would you do against yourself 9 months ago ... 5 months ago etc. talk to your professor and see what you could be doing to progress. Schedule a private... be proactive in your success journey.
Taking 1 private per week with the resident prodigal blue belt. I always thought I was an intelligent person. I have been watching BJJ videos with my wife who does not train. I quiz her after the video. She retains more than I do. I am starting to feel really stupid. I don't have a good BJJ IQ
@@4150CHF I'm with you on that. I really don't have good BJJ IQ. I'm at the 9 month marker as well and I'm pretty sure I haven't actually gotten better with rolling. I know a few more techniques, or at least recognize them, but I don't have any grasp when I'm rolling. I just go blank and it's quite frustrating... Just been a training dummy, even for those brand new and I still don't have much to offer there other than I'm heavy so someone new can learn to feel what it's like to try techniques on someone larger. There really is this self reflection advice I hear all the time about think about where you were 3 months ago, 6 months ago, etc... except, to be honest, even though I'm trying and going consistently, I don't think I've improved much, if at all, since about the 2 month marker as there have been numerous new people join and within a month I'm getting smashed by them as well. I don't believe Patience + Effort = Improvement for all people, I'm actually fairly skilled on other areas, but I just don't have the IQ for actual BJJ. At this point, I'm just going for the workout and the people.
@@byronmukai5466 I totally get what you are saying. I took a few months off and I have been back for about a month. The only success that I have during open mat is by using my strength and powering through to a dominate position and then I can sometimes get a submission. However, I feel like I am not really using jiu-jitsu. If it was not from the residual strength that I have from years of weight training when I was younger (I don't lift anymore), I would have zero success on the mat.
@@4150CHF I'm glad it's not just me. I see so many videos espousing that you will get better, just give it time, but I just don't really see it as being something all people can get proficient at. I suspect that realization might be why so many people quit, even though it's not talked about in most videos and forums. I have a sneaky suspicion that the biased sample of practitioners is used a little too liberally.
Always wanted to train in BJJ but I never had the money. Im a student and my parents cant afford to pay as jiu jitsu in Singapore is expensive. I joined my school judo team so I could start grappling. When I graduated I started working part time at a mma gym so I could train for free. But now I have to enlist to do my compulsory national service in the army. Feel like I cant keep going on finding a way to train for free and I am too broke to pay to train :(
Im at that crossroads just now, 2 years in and feel like Im getting nowhere!! I work offshore on a 3 on 3 off rota and find it hard to make any progress. At 48 most of the other guys are a lot younger and when I do get to train I feel like Im getting crushed every time lately. I feel like I want to continue but its getting harder and harder to find the motivation.
I feel you brother. I`m 56, training three years and just got my blue belt. I train at a small gym where everyone was better and I was always getting crushed. I realized it wasn`t the crushing that was frustrating me but that when I get crushed I don`t learn anything and that is the fun of any sport, getting better. What is working for me is that I put my ego aside and just asked people to go easier or slower once in a while. I am not afraid to use my age as an excuse! I was amazed at how much more I learn when it is not a survival situation. Also, I would pick a specific move or situation and study it online beforehand and work that move all night. For a while I was working at finding Figure 4 situations and when you`re going slower they just pop up everywhere! Now my hands almost slip into Figure 4s automatically. Also, I found a guy about my level who was into drilling slow and we meet before class and work together on stuff. The progress is coming much faster now. Keep it up
Maybe you're right , I should use my age as an excuse to get the younger ones to roll a bit less full on. That's exactly how it feels for me like trying too hard to just survive to actually pick up any real technique.
John Mochan great advice. It's tough getting crushed. It's okay to ask guys to go light if you need it. It's how you learn. Try to relax and breathe when you're getting crushed. I know it's counter intuitive.... trust me. Relax.
Thanks , will do .
Great talk. Thank you for the advices. However, i would like to add a fiew things : You seem to develop along with some other great teatchers (Roy Dean, Gregoriades etc) a kind of "progressive" jiu-jitsu. By progressive, i mean that you try to set a path that goes beyond simple effectiveness and competition performance. I thing that when you have the chance to have a progressive coach, as an older grappler, all of your talk makes perfect sense. Because, you create a space for older people, and a path that can be pursued even if you are not a competition or a super physical guy (F.e the famous "discover who you are of R. DEAN). But, all the jiu-jitsu schools and teatchers don't support this way of thinking. The majority of the BJJ schools at least in my area are really compétiion, young grapplers and performance oriented. As an older grappler, you are simply tolerated and you really can feel that you don't really have a normal status and place in the game. In this context, you get crushed on a regular basis, and obviously sometime injured. For the vast majority of the practitionners, when you try to roll light or to learn, you are not really doing BJJ. eventually when you put all this things together, status, injuries, lack of an intesresting path to follow beyond competition, i really wonder why you should not quit BJJ if you can't find a progressive school and a progressive teatcher. I can garantee that it is not very developped in France where i live. Thank you again for the speech though.
It would take a good bit for me to actually give up, but I can at least tell what depresses me like no other and ruins my day/weekend. I've been doing this for 6 months...twice a week for 7-8 hours/week. I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. It seems like I always fall for the same stuff, do the same stuff, and get stuck in the same stuff. I'll get a tip and when it comes time to apply it, I can't remember the tip or I don't even think of it. Or I'll attend a class and go, "That's awesome. But I'll never remember it during open mat." I start rolling, and everything happens so fast that I can't remember anything or see opportunities. It's so frustrating and I can't tell if I'm actually getting better, or just reliving the same week every. damn. week.
I've been doing this for 14 months and I feel exactly the same way. I recently received my fourth stripe and I really don't feel like I deserve it. There's guys who started after I did - no-stripe and one-stripe white belts - who tap me and I can't seem to tap them. It's embarrassing, and makes me really feel like I'm just not "getting" it.
GRACIAS POR LA INFORMACIÓN !
Ive had mixed feelings about bjj from the beginning. I kind of jumped into the unknown, because I usually stay in my comfort zone. I felt like the 1 year contract was a big commitment, but I went with it. 7 months later Im thinking about quitting because bjj seems pointless to me atm. In the beginning it was fun, now I feel like im just busting my ass to pay 200 a month and I just come out of class more depressed than when i came in. It feels like a waste of time.
Trust In The Universe A one year contract wow is this the norm? we pay eight weeks up front and repeat. I would not have started training if a contract was required, too many things can change, like a lot have mentioned on here I'm no spring chicken either at 51, started 18 months ago just keep plugging away, we all have our ups and downs.
Hope you're still training.
thanks
I'm a female and I don't want to quit jiujitsu entirely I'm going through the motions about wether my school is the right school for me. Part of my problem is that because of my gender I'm not taken serious or feel like I'm being taken for granted. I have over 220 hours and I don't know any sweeps. We drill you go 2 times partner goes 2times, it doesnt drill enough into muscle memory, it's not a technical school and the guys don't really support me as a team. I've had to compete as a white belt with no coach or support. It sucks watching teamates get support and advance because they're are privlaged with special help. When I stay late to train extra people get off the match, always odd person out/picked last. I feel more comfortable posting this here than talking with a blackbelt that doesnt take me serious. If I tell my trainer why his method of training doesnt work I think they will not want to train with me more than they already dont want to train with me. Guys don't want to put me in submission because of my gender, how can I learn to defend a choke if the guys don't ever actually choke me?
Can you check out Girls in Gis - a friend of mine is an ambassador for that organization. They may be able to assist you. Good luck!
@@laurelisbister6524 I switched schools 6months ago and then the world shutdown. I also discovered that competition schools that compete as a unit have other women on my level, not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb.
Good Fortune that sounds good. I’m happy you found something better. A coach I liked once told me it’s ok that if classes don’t feel like the right fit it’s ok to keep trying out different gyms til you find one you like. I found a lot of guys only have two speeds, 0 and 100. ! It’s god to be able to calibrate.
What if you have ibs c
Did you take 10 years off or something. Because Ive been a blue belt since 2000. But I took a 14 year break. So would that make me an 18 year blue? Do I have the world record at blue or what?
Why did you want to quit.. What were the reasons?
Why were you a brown belt for 13 Years
Thanks man great pep talk
13 years at Brown belt is very discouraging for someone looking to start
Nathan Jones the goal is to learn from my story...Not repeat my path
@@bjjafter40 I 100% understand, but I seem to mess everything up already. So the fact that its a possibility, itll probably happen to me
Nathan Jones that’s right then so shall it become for you. If you start with a mindset of failure - loss - lack etc. then so shall it become. Have you heard of a “self fulfilling prophecy”.... only you get to decide who you become.
I think people take this way to seriously. If its fun and interesting you will keep doing it. If not. . . . well . . . you find something else to do 🤣🤣
For money problems 😔
Why would you be at Brown belt for 13 years?
he had 10 years off training lol
I just don't enjoy it enough, I guess.
dont tell me what to do your not my real dad!
Thank you for this Mr Forty.
I recently had a 2 month lay off due to work. Before that I was feeling unsure about BJJ. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep getting better, but I didn't have the motivation to go, I was looking for lousey excuses not to go. During my lay off, I felt this depression and uneasyness inside of me. I felt my confidence drop, I felt weak. I instantly felt 100% better as soon as I signed back up, but the next week I felt unmotivated again, but I know I can't give up, I'll just have that unstatisfaction inside of me. I didn't know what to do till I watched this video: "don't give up, keep pushing on". I force myself to go somedays, I never regret it when I'm taking off my Gi. But the first step is always the hardest.
Thanks again BJJ After Forty.
Keep pushing on guys, don't give up.
Thanks for the talk. I am a 47-year-old completely new-to-the-game white belt that is already struggling with the idea of quitting. I've been going to fundamentals classes and a few of the standard classes for about 2 months. I am a bit out of shape and have been struggling with completing the warm-ups. Yes, that out of shape. I have mild anxiety before going to each class and I feel that I hold up the class trying to complete the simplest of instruction and that I won't even be able to do 30sec of rolling. I haven't rolled yet either because of the shape I'm in and because I would have no idea what I'm doing. I will definitely take your advice on talking with my professor about all of this because I do want to continue. But I feel I need to be taught certain very basic things which haven't been covered, like what to do when you're in full mount or side mount and I feel like there's a ton of different info coming at me - like drinking from a fire hose.
Don't give up. BJJ is hard. But like most things in life, anything worth doing is difficult. You're probably getting a tiny bit better every class.
I'm a white belt too. No one walks into this with no experience and just figures in out without time and patience..... Hours and hours on the mat. I got some bad habits like smoking, and all the warm ups and shrimping take a lot out of me too.
But the worst thing you can do for yourself is quit... You'd just be cheating yourself. You might think you're holding up the class, but the truth is they probably respect the hell out of you for sticking with it. Keep it up, pace yourself if you need to, but don't ever give up!
I'm 40 years old and started a week ago. I really enjoying it! I loved sparring and enjoy rolling and getting smashed by younger guys. BJJ boost my confidence and find myself. It always relieve my stress whenever I'm on the mat. It's a tough sports but a beautiful art. OSS!
I'm a few years younger than you. I've been athletic in the past from grade school through college. My work is physical, but when I went to MMA recently I got showed how out of shape I was after at least 2 decades of just cycling or mountain bike riding or hiking once in a blue moon. My response? to forget the classes and take from the classes what I learned (on conditioning) and do them at home and in my own time. I run at a high school track. I run around my neighborhood, I do pushups in mid run and balance opposite limbs, planks, walking on hands, shadow boxing, pools of sweat each time and I do it for over an hour sometimes 3 hours non-stop, big tire work. This "overuse" exposed my body's weakness in my left foot, a pull extensor tendon. I've been resting for 2 weeks after 2 months of heavy conditioning (I'd do it after work forgoing dinner until I was done and the sun went down, I know crazy). I dropped weight then my weight went up because muscle weighs more than blubber, but my mid-section slimmed and now I can maneuver much better and balance is better. My plan is to Not go back to classes until I am in tip-top conditioning or my best extreme shape. Embarrassment causes me to take action on my own time. I do not want them to recognize me when I come back and never gas.
I've been training for almost a year, and I'm on my way to being able to compete (at my school, they have you go through 4 green stripes at white belt, before they'll give you your first white stripe, meaning they'll let you compete). I took a 2 month hiatus from jujitsu for a few reasons. 1. I felt I wasnt improving at the rate I wanted to. 2. At that time, my work schedule was so hectic, I didnt feel it was right to keep telling them I wasnt going because of work. 3. The tuition was proving to be harder to afford than I initially realized. And 4. (Honestly the worst reason) I had a girlfriend, that i wanted to spend more time with. There were times i wanted to go see her, but I had training. So I dropped it to make time for her. Eventually we ended up breaking up, which put me into a very depressed state of mind. So I started coming back, just because I remembered how good it felt to get promoted and to get the exercise, and have a hobby outside of work and school. They even changed the rate from 75 a month to 10 a lesson (because when I came back I was only able to go once a week most weeks). Honestly, going back to jujitsu has helped me in so many ways. Not only is it one of my hobbies, it allows me to connect with people, and it's good therapy for my mental health. Jujitsu has definitely proven to be one of the greatest things I've picked up.
Turned 40 last year. Started 5 years ago after a spinal injury. Limits fundamental movements like bridging. Knee gives way from time to time. Was a striker for many years. Tried grappling to stay in touch with combat arts. I do not have a stripe on my white belt because I do not meet the basic requirements and I only train once/twice a week to keep the back safe and stay in decent shape. I have a very defensive game and rarely will I get a sub. I try to concentrate on helping my team mates and join in competition classes too. There are many times I thought of quitting. My osteopath wants me to do something else (I do bouldering on the side to supplement grip strength). More often than not, after a session the thoughts come. It's a constant battle. Yet I still go. Its the people that keep making me go back. Maybe one I'll stop. Just not today.
Months ago, I was going through the ever popular purple belt purgatory. As well as being in a rough spot in life. I came across this video during that time. I want to thank you for inspiring me. For helping me find that motivation and discipline within myself to not quit and even more importantly fall in love with Jiu-Jitsu again. Since then I've had a Superfight, picked up another stripe as well as gotten myself to a better spot in life. Thanks my man, OSS!
Hi I'm 49 been training for 9 months once a week for 6 months then twice a week for 3 months I really want to up to 3 times a week but I'm always banged up the guys I roll with are nearly all half my age I love bjj it's chained my life keep the cool vids coming I'm white belt with 3 stripes
13 years at brown!? Did you stop training for a while or change gyms? You got your brown in 7 which is on par with the average 10 years for a black belt. What happened?
ua-cam.com/video/oisPhNLylPs/v-deo.html
Hello 6 year white belt here...subtract 2 years for covid.
hell no im not quitting. in here for the violence
Thank you, sensei!
Ju jitsu hates me. End of.
I can definitely attest to this. Within my first year of training I suffered a knee injury. I was strictly a top game player. I was attempting to do a knee slice. But my leg was still trapped in his half guard. Rookie mistake. Anyway, it was a silver lining in the cloud for me. I refuse too quit or take time off as my doctor suggested. Which I'm glad I didnt because 2 years later and its still tender. I couldnt put any standing pressure on it. The injury forced me to work on bottom game. Which has improved exponentially. Now I dont panic if I end up on my back.