To me the memory loss would totally be worth it, a definite downside, but my memories will do me no good if I'm dead... Thank you for the video, so hopeful to try this.
You shared an interesting thought. I wonder if it’s person dependent on the memory loss. My wife and friends I’ve had in the past have keen memories. Myself, not so much. My memories are more of very specific technical things not so much relationship memories. Thanks again for your input.
Well, I am studing psychology now, which may be connected with my idea of knowing how things in my brain are working in order to have ... well what you did have i guess. Now i have in my current lesson ECT mentioned and i have decided to check it up. However, what i wanted to say was that comparing to your first and second video you look much better. I guess you have noticed that but still, it is good to be heard from someone else. I wish you good luck, have lots of days !
A decade later, I honestly felt happy hearing you talking about how sincerely you felt better. It did not happen to me when I had ECT, but I know I'm part of the 20% that doesn't respond like expected. Much love
And this video further made my night. So glad to hear that it's going well. I'm still considering pursuing ECT and this update has given me a little push towards it again. You are helping give us hope through better understanding of the ECT process. Thank you.
I'm so glad that these videos have been able to help you. And thank you so much for saying so, you have no idea how much it means to me. If you can, let me know what you decide about ECT.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience... videos like yours gave me and my wife a better understanding of what this option is. This was all new territory for me just a few weeks ago. My wife has responded well to ECT since the second treatment. She is out of the dark place she was after she tried the unthinkable. I understand from your video it will continue to be a journey. I would love for people to have easier access to healthcare they need and deserve. Wish you the best to you always!
I'm on the ECT waitlist and I've been doing a lot of um . .waiting . . Lol so it really helps to hear what you have to say about it. I'm also a runner and am hoping that this therapy doesn't set me back too far.
I'm so glad you did an update video! Right now, I'm waiting on insurance approval for ECT treatments. It's so frustrating having to wait because I want to feel better so badly. I've already had a suicide attempt and I don't want another. Your videos really give me hope. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!!
Hi Jennifer! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sending many good wishes your way that they approve you soon. I know how frustrating the waiting is. It truly is wrong how long they make someone with a condition like ours wait. I want to tell you that there is hope and that your life is worth fighting for. I know I don't know you personally, but your life is precious and I don't want you to give up. Things are going to get better. Please let me know when you are approved. Again, thank you for your words and for you congratulations :)
Hi jenny, firstly thank you for doing these videos and I'm so glad to see that ECT worked for you and i hope your wellness is sustained and continued! I have been suicidaly depressed for 3 years after going into SSRI withdrawal when a hospital forgot my meds when i got food poisoning.. they didn't try to treat my depression properly till a year later, as a result it had time to root itself in and become severe.. my mum cares for me.. i can't wash, can't make food, i can't can't go out and at times can't communicate.. many medications and combos later i am at the point here in england where they will consider ECT.. looks like beginning february i will be having it as i think 3 years is long enough of this pain. Prior to this i was a college lecturer, its hard to explain to people that you just want wellness back, the ability to wash, dress, go for a coffee, have a job, not be in agony and want to do things! im rambling sorry.. i can't remember if you said much about it but i want to know, where you scared? or did it just feel like the right thing to do? i have bad anxiety also so as you can imagine.. I'm terrified of how I'm going to wake up! your videos have been a source of some comfort, you coped admirably. xhannahx
Hi Hannah, omgsh you were not rambling at all! One of the main reasons I started this channel is to have the opportunity to talk with other people about their experiences and struggles and hear their stories. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story with me. Over the past 5 years, I have often felt so alone. Not because I didn't have support but because I didn't know anyone else who was suffering from the same disease. While I would never wish this on anyone, it can be comforting to talk to otheres who know EXACTLY what you're experiencing. Your story is so much like mine. I totally know what you mean about trying to explain to people what it's like to just lose all desire to do anything at all. The only thing in the world you want is to just feel normal again, to just be able to live life without feeling like brushing your teeth is the hardest thing you could ever do. I am so glad that you are going to get the opportunity to try ECT. 3 years is 3 years too long! To be completely honest, I was terrified of the idea of ECT when I first learned about it. I actually refused to do it for two years because I was so scared. I just finally got to a point where I couldn't take the depression anymore. I'll tell you about my experience with waking up. One of the things the doctors will probably tell you is that there is a good chance that you will wake up with a headache and nausea. However, they are able to give medicine beforehand to prevent this from happening. It can take a couple of tries to figure out how much they need to give you though. For me, it took three tries to find the right amount. So the first two times, I did wake up with the headache and nausea. I promise you though, it's no worse than a mild case of the flu. Also, I was so out of it after the procedure that I slept most of the day anyways and woke up feeling just fine. When we were able to find the right amount of medicine, I woke up just feeling very out of it. Basically, you slowly wake up but still feel very tired. You go home and sleep the rest of day. It may take a few tries, but I'm sure that your wakeup will be just fine. I hope that explanation helped ease your anxiety some. Please let me know if you have any other questions, I know how daunting it can seem without experiencing yet. Best of luck in your treatment, and if you can, let me know how your experience is. Best wishes!
I don’t struggle with depression but a certain medication that I’m on is very much so a struggle so ect helps and what you said about trying that one medication and then backing away from it actually everything you said was inspiring to hear so thank you.
Hi Blake! It is so good to hear that you are feeling confident about your treatment and that I was able to help in a small way. That was my goal in starting this channel because I completely understand how scary it is. If you can, let me know how your treatment goes. Best wishes!
Temporarily impacts cognition like the processing of signs, colors or shapes ie pattern recognition; not short or long term memory. Ive had it and was cared for by a wonderful team of Pinoy nurses ie Maggie and Rose at Good Samaritan Hospital Downers Grove IL.
I really like your videos because you explain everything and give us a different perspective on things. Which is fantastic. Usually we use "depression" quite freely without knowing how intense and deep this word means. To which I apology. So, thanks. I do appreciate your videos. They give me a new perspective on life. My ignorance is diminished . And I sincerely thank you. I'm glad you are ok. Great! You have my total gratitude. And a friend as well.
Hi Tiberius! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad that you like the videos and that they have given you a new perspective. The word "depression" can often be overused and misused and I really appreciate that you recognize this. Thank you so much for your support. Having people who understand is so very encouraging and I very much appreciate that from you. I hope that all is well with you!
Truly phenomenal! Very moving and inspiring from start to finish! (from the first video, i mean) I'm considering the same thing, as well as my best friend. We both struggle with depression, lot of which end up into suicidal thoughts & attempts. After doing some research and watching your diary, I feel pretty confident about trying ECT. I'm currently 18 years old and a senior in high school. My friend is 19 and recently graduated. My only issue with this is I quit my medications cold turkey to enlist into the military. I've been off my medication for a year and have had my fair share of ups and down. I don't leave for Basic Training until June 30th 2014, but i feel like my situation has worsen tremendously. I fear I won't last long enough for that day to arrive. I'm truly lost because of a few reason: 1.) I don't want to jeopardize my career due to my mental health. 2.) I'm not sure if my insurance will cover for this. 3.) I don't know if i'll be able to experience the full effect of the treatment due to the short period of time available. I don't know what to do :( I'm gonna suggest this to the medical professionals I've been seeing. Hopefully they'll be able to give me an idea of what to do.
hello Jenny Thank you for telling us your experience about ECT through your diary. I think your testimony will be important for all those who find themselves in the same situation of health. I think it would be important to see a video of the ECT treatment you receive. I think that would be the right completion of your story and would better understand the treatment to which you submit .
Hi! I would love to be able to show my treatment on video, but unfortunately, the medical center doesn't allow procedures to be filmed. Thank you very much for the suggestion though. It would be really great if I could :(
What a pity! would have been very interesting and instructive. I think you be the best person to testify the effectiveness of therapy ect and the video would have shown that it is a painless treatment away from the one shown in old movies and that scares a lot of people :)
Thank you again Jenny for the video. I still come back and watch your sharing from time to time. My ECT went well (except for the memory loss). Hope everything goes well!!
I lost months of my life and I don't know if the memories that have come back are real or not...but I stopped stabbing myself in the stomach so...that's something. The thing that keeps me depressed is the fact that low income people suffering from depression do not have access to ECT or new meds like Abilify. You are a brave young woman.
I completely agree Kristin; it's heartbreaking to know that there are so many people without access to treatment. I hope that I can be a part of making that change. Thank you for your kind words and I hope that things continue to get better for you.
Hi. I do ECT for major depression. Have been doing it now for years. Keep fighting the fight. I still have my bad days. I hope your goods outnumber your bads.
My sin suffered from CATATONIC state had to have ECT to pull him out of this MEMORY LOSS apparent but my son lived on his own for years now i had to move all his stuff back home with me this is horrible for him
Dear Jenny, I need your help. I'm going to be undergoing ect in the near future & I'm really unsure & scared. I've watched all of your videos and wondered how your feelings now that the excitement of your wedding is behind you. Would you please make a new up to date video and let us know ! It would mean the world to me. Congratulations, hope your day was beautiful like you are sharing your story.
Hi Christine! I'm hoping to film a new video tomorrow, but I can tell you that things are going very well. I'll have more details in the video. I was definitely scared too when I was first going to do ECT. It's definitely something that is frightening concept. I want to reassure you and tell you that it is going to be just fine. After you go in the first few times, it's going to become routine. Let me know how your treatment goes if you can. I wish you the best of luck.
Watching your video again after several years. I will be going in for ECT treatments, and your experience and insights are very helpful and hopeful for me and others. Thank you so much! How are you doing now?
Thank you for this. We are waiting for insurance approval right now for our 24 year old son. We are a little concerned because of all of the negative reviews of ECT but feel that this is one of our last choices right now. Thank you!
I don't know if getting my memory back is necessarily a good thing, because then I'd also remember all the depression and events involved with it. I'd like to be able to cancel out stuff permanently. Like deleting my hard drive, or a lot of it.
Thank you for making these videos, it really helps to know that I'm not alone on this. For the past 3-4 years I've been feeling very depressed, I'm always thinking about the bad things that happen in my life and like you said, every once in a while I get motivated to start doing something significant it just goes away the next day. I've wanted to go to a psychiatrist for a long time but my family has been having economic problems the past few years (they don't know about how I feel because I'm always trying to hide it), I hope I can have a continuos therapy session soon.
Hi Mauricio, thank you so much for the comment. I am so sorry that the past 4 years have been so hard. Isn't the motivation thing so frustrating? I obviously don't know your situation, but I want to encourage you to reach out to your family. I cannot stress to you enough how much it helps to have moral support. They may not be able to help you see a doctor sooner, but they can be there for you through your tough times just as it sounds that you have been there for them during difficult times. I am so sorry that it is taking so long for you to be able to see a psychiatrist. I am sending you the best wishes and I really hope that you are able to get treatment soon. I promise you things are going to get better. If you can, update me on how your treatment progresses. Sending many good thoughts your way!
I did 6 bilateral ECT for six treatments. That's all I did I finished 6 weeks ago and my memory is just getting worse. I have lost whole people! My husband and bestfriend have to fill me in on my my life. My depression has gotten worse because I my memory is just so bad! I hope for best for you ❤
@@lauraknighten9964 I’m sorry to hear that Did you depresssion atleast get better? I imagine you might not even remember how it was before for comparison and I kind of hate to even ask that so forgive me if it was tacky
@@allisonm7234 Thank you so much for responding, Allison. The doctors are really pushing for ECT for my wife to the extent that one doctor was giving me a hard sale like "if she doesn't get it done we'll give her the pills she's been taking and send her home." I just don't like the risk of her losing her memory. So I looked at TMS that's non-evasive. I'll mention that to the doctor when i speak with her next. She'll probably say no. So, I'm really glad to hear that ECT worked in your brother's case. Most likely they'll start ECT on my wife next week if she says yes.
@@nathantw The only memory loss he had was around the treatment time, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I think the more sessions you do the more likely you are to lose more memory? I don't know so don't quote me. It was truly a blessing. It's almost like the brain just needed a reset. I pray if y'all decide to do it that it is successful and will help her! I know how stressful it can be. We are so glad to have my brother back to normal.
Hi Jenny, I'm so relieved you posted an update as I was fearing the worst had happened to you not having done an update for so long. I'm currently waiting to see a psychiatrist to hopefully get approval for ECT but that probably won't be happening until next year because of our shitty system here. I wanted to ask did the depression and anxiety alter your sense of smell and taste at all? I think my depression and anxiety has altered mine because I seem over-sensitive to bad smells and I think I also misperceive smells that other people find pleasant as foul odours. Anyhow I wish you all the best, fingers crossed you stay as good as you are now.
Hi! Thank you so much for your good wishes. I am sending many your way in the hopes that you get approved as soon as possible. I completely feel you on a terrible system. For the last several years, I would go months in between appointments because they couldn't get me in. It is not right for any medical condition but for something like what we have, it is for lack of better words bull shit. The sense of taste and smell, yes! I feel that it has altered it, where things that should smell good didn't really seem to any more and being over sensitive to bad smells. So strange what the brain can do. Again, I wish you the best. If you can, let me know when you get approved.
Jenny's ECT Diary Hey Jenny, I finally saw the psychiatrist yesterday and he's approved me for ECT, but to have it done in my town I have to go through the public system so he's had to refer me to a public mental health centre here and they might want to see me for an appointment before they go ahead with it, but the psychiatrist I saw said with his approval for ECT on the referral I shouldn't have any problems getting their approval for it. So good news but I'm still really nervous right now. Would love to see a new update video just to see how you're doing. All the best. ;)
Jenny's ECT Diary It's all approved Jenny, I have my first treatment tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous but I'm going to try to remember how much it has helped you to get me through it.
Jenny's ECT Diary Hi Jenny, just to give you an update I've had 5 unilateral treatments now and I'm still not getting any therapeutic effects. I'm having the 6th treatment on monday and then I get reviewed. I'm thinking at this stage I'll probably end up having to go bilateral like you did, which is a shame because unilateral has so far had no negative effect on my memory or cognition at all. I'm just hoping I don't have any problems getting approved for bilateral. At least now the procedure seems less scary and I know all the people who will be treating me and they're all really nice.
im so glad you seem to be doing so well now. im scared to be honest because i need to have this done and being a single dad of 3 really worries me . the what ifs? how are you doing today jenny?
Hi Joseph, thank you so much for your kind words. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Talk to your doctor about the best option in doing the ECT so that it won't affect your kids as much. I promise you that this treatment is worth it. It will be hard at first, but you will be so thankful when it begins to show results. I am going to post a new video, hopefully this week, with an update of how I'm doing. I wish you the absolute best.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I am trying to help a family member with med management that just is not working. Maybe ECT is an option. Please let us know if the memory loss gets better.
Dude! My place started with and only did bi-temporal! And it was AWFUL. I can't believe they didn't tell me that they should start off with unitemporal
alicia burn Hi Alicia, so I've had 32 treatments so far. I am currently down to once every three weeks. I'm not sure of the exact number I have left, the doctors are just monitoring how I am doing and deciding where we should go from there. I can tell you though that it's been two months now and I have been doing better than I have in years.
Hey just wanted to say your super pretty! Im doing ECT out here in boulder colorado . Im waiting right now to go in. I think im on my 7th treatment? I hate not being able to eat before it lol im hungry . I usually wake up n im like ok doc lets do this n he says your already done hah .
Also everyone going on about psilocybin I literally did a garbage bag of shrooms over 2 weeks and didn't help my depression other then being totally okay with death and dying, it was like sucide acceptance lool yet to try ket
Hey Jenny, i have another question. do you which type of electrical current they used with you? I believe there are 2 types of current being used for ECT today. Brief Pulse and Ultra Brief Pulse. Ultra Brief Pulse is the newest vesion of ECT and its the version theyre using on me. it has been very mild in terms of the memory loss side effect, but ive had 3 treatments now and havent noticed any benefits yet either. so im just curious about which version of ECT was used for you?
Hi Lars, I'm so sorry it has taken so long for me to reply to you. They were using brief pulse and I just switched to ultra brief pulse. They have used it the last three treatments and I have noticed that the memory loss is improving. How are your treatments going?
I have been considering it, but I don't know if im depressed or its just my borderline personality disorder. I have gotten super painfully depressed after taking mdma and a maoi together in a weird reckless I don't care if I die attempt I was actually happy at the time, I did this 3 times over 2 weeks somehow I didn't die or have adverse effects however last time I became soo depressed I tried to kill myself but now I think I've suddenly improved within days. I think I just damaged my serotonin receptors and they reset now.
I hope you see this message, I want to know if you have had your memory problem solved as it has been years already?? Please let me know as my brother is deciding to go through this
Thanks for your video.Ive just started ect (2 sessions) and feel slightly better.I was just wondering if you continued with your regular medication since having success with ect? Thanks and all the best!
I'm horrified by my treatment... I was on Section 3 so I didn't sign or consent to it... I wanted it stopped after 5 or 6 treatments; I felt absolutely fine I said to them "I'm happy enough now I don't need it anymore", & I did feel SO much better, but no one listened. I ended up having 9, I saw the last 3 as Torture & Punishment, due to my mental health issues & anxiety. No one would listen to my cries for help. They forced me down on the bed while I was crying, on more than 1 occassion, They didn't anaesthetise me properly because I have sudden jolts and convultions of my body, - very randomely, that have been happening for years... (3 years after I had the course of treatments) ... I am traumatised. I without a doubt have brain damage, for a long time I had pain on the right side of my head, and I have promenant pressure on both sides of my head, that has never left me. My brain has been fried, and I have substantial, terrible memory loss. All I can remember is the complete trauma they all put me through & the ignorance of the Dr and the ECT anaesthetists. :( I know they didn't anaesthetise me properly coz I remember them pushing me onto the bed and holding me down while I was crying saying I don't want it, and the sudden seizures/jolts of my body that I get are proof that I have brain damage. I'm so traumatised from my experience and permenantly mentally & pysically damaged! I am more vulnerable now than I was before, and lost all my dreams to become a singer, or motivation to do anything in life! I've lost my personality and my spark, and A LOT of my fighting spirit! I've lost the real me from ECT. I just couldn't be myself in the hospital that I was in, (Mother & baby Unit) and my depression was circumstantial!, - linked to things that had happened to me, yes coming off medication, but mainly (having my baby took away from me 2 days after having her/post natal depression & long distance relationship, & being locked in the hospital!!! rather than random or ongoing with the Need for ECT. I've tried to sue but with no luck. I've not been in the right place to do it, & my parents are and were on the doctors side. I'm vulnerable & have had no one to help me with persuing a legal case and sueing... I might try again. All I know it that, regardless of being on Section 3, i'm pretty sure that I didn't sign or consent to it!, wasn't given All the information, wasn't listened to when I expressed feeling better and being happy, and wasn't anaesthetised properly towards the end with constant random convultions of my body and a frozen feeling and permenant pressure on my head, with memory loss. My brain basically feels 'dumbed down' !! God knows how many brain cells those last 3 treatments killed. :( #Damaged 🙏
@@dearmumma3924 my psychiatrist yesterday all of a sudden said that I need this crap or I will no longer receive any government benefits (money). I am not psychotic or suicidal. All I have is an anxiety disorder and aspergers.
Your story confirms what ECT does. It deletes memory. After a few sessions the memory loss includes some of the things that you were worried about. If these things were not important its not too bad, but sadly many very important things, essential things are also forgotten. Eventually huge swathes of memory are lost and cognitive function too. Life destroying memory and abilities lost forever. Inability to remember how to get anywhere in your own city/town. This is not admitted by the psychiatrists, and it makes normal life impossible.
Consider the wonderful work of Dr Breggin ,, and alternative treatments that are wholist ,love and caring therapy,, Know Jesus love you and God: s protection.
When U do the ECT for the first time do u remember the location of ur home ?It is compulsory to bring some body with u or no during the session? I hope u reply 2 me as soon as u can because I have a session and I don't have any body 2 go with me?
Hello there. just watched your video on ECT . I have been reff by my doc for ect treatment and I'm kinda freaked out . I'm 36 male and have been severely depressed for over 2 years . been on 12 antidepressants and they all made me way worst . horible side effects I tryed diet and praying to god every day . I was wonder how long u were depressed for ?? and can u tell me what happens when u get the treatment ... are you put out ? does it hurt ?? Thanks
Really hmmm ...well I hate the feeling of being stoned . I'm smoked tins of pot in my early 20 but I hate it and can't wait for the feeling to go away . I don't know what to do 12 meds haven't done anything bad side effects memory loss weight gain and more sucidal thoughts ...
Gary O. Gary, I'm really happy for you that worked. But most people don't just get over it by believing in an imaginary friend/being (I don't mean this in a demeaning way or anything of that kind but that's just how it is from my perspective) I doubt praying will heal me of what is nothing more than a shortcircuit in my brain. I just can't be happy 'cause my brain doesn't make the substance serotonine. ECT is the only thing they can treat me with before all there is left is euthanasation. Which I will receive 15 octobre if the ECT doesn't help (chances are very slim, 'cause it's been 25 years and I'm tired) So congratulations on finding the Lord and getting better but you're statement is a bit off.
There is nit enough evidence that this actually works..its hit and miss..The negatives far way out the positives..So now you like somepne with Alzheimer's and your so young..ive suffered depression all my life but its not worth adding more problems...
So happy for you... starting soon....disabled veteran...you make me feel good about hope.
To me the memory loss would totally be worth it, a definite downside, but my memories will do me no good if I'm dead... Thank you for the video, so hopeful to try this.
You shared an interesting thought. I wonder if it’s person dependent on the memory loss. My wife and friends I’ve had in the past have keen memories. Myself, not so much. My memories are more of very specific technical things not so much relationship memories. Thanks again for your input.
This treatment is definitely better than the variety of medications out there for depression.
Well, I am studing psychology now, which may be connected with my idea of knowing how things in my brain are working in order to have ... well what you did have i guess. Now i have in my current lesson ECT mentioned and i have decided to check it up. However, what i wanted to say was that comparing to your first and second video you look much better. I guess you have noticed that but still, it is good to be heard from someone else. I wish you good luck, have lots of days !
Hi Jenny, I just wanted to say you look great!!! I find your videos very helpful as I to suffer from severe depression. Take care!!!
Thank you so much, Angela. It really means a lot. I wish you the best in your treatment and in everything!
Thank you so much for sharing. Severe depression is so hard to live with but there are great treatments out there!
Thank you for sharing your story. So brave and inspiring. Love from the UK
Thank you so much for your kind words :) It really means a lot. All the best!
A decade later, I honestly felt happy hearing you talking about how sincerely you felt better. It did not happen to me when I had ECT, but I know I'm part of the 20% that doesn't respond like expected. Much love
And this video further made my night. So glad to hear that it's going well. I'm still considering pursuing ECT and this update has given me a little push towards it again. You are helping give us hope through better understanding of the ECT process. Thank you.
I'm so glad that these videos have been able to help you. And thank you so much for saying so, you have no idea how much it means to me. If you can, let me know what you decide about ECT.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience... videos like yours gave me and my wife a better understanding of what this option is. This was all new territory for me just a few weeks ago. My wife has responded well to ECT since the second treatment. She is out of the dark place she was after she tried the unthinkable. I understand from your video it will continue to be a journey. I would love for people to have easier access to healthcare they need and deserve. Wish you the best to you always!
I'm on the ECT waitlist and I've been doing a lot of um . .waiting . . Lol so it really helps to hear what you have to say about it. I'm also a runner and am hoping that this therapy doesn't set me back too far.
I'm so glad you did an update video! Right now, I'm waiting on insurance approval for ECT treatments. It's so frustrating having to wait because I want to feel better so badly. I've already had a suicide attempt and I don't want another. Your videos really give me hope.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!!
Hi Jennifer! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sending many good wishes your way that they approve you soon. I know how frustrating the waiting is. It truly is wrong how long they make someone with a condition like ours wait. I want to tell you that there is hope and that your life is worth fighting for. I know I don't know you personally, but your life is precious and I don't want you to give up. Things are going to get better. Please let me know when you are approved. Again, thank you for your words and for you congratulations :)
I just restarted ECT, I’m 71 not a young chick like you. So happy for you.
Your bravery is inspiring!
Thank you so much Sandy :)
Gracias. Good luck and best wishes for your marriage , and hope the improvementes continue for ling time.
Thank you for your kind words, Daniel :)
wow i can really tell a difference in your facial affect..you look much more alert and intereted - congrats!
Hi jenny,
firstly thank you for doing these videos and I'm so glad to see that ECT worked for you and i hope your wellness is sustained and continued!
I have been suicidaly depressed for 3 years after going into SSRI withdrawal when a hospital forgot my meds when i got food poisoning.. they didn't try to treat my depression properly till a year later, as a result it had time to root itself in and become severe.. my mum cares for me.. i can't wash, can't make food, i can't can't go out and at times can't communicate..
many medications and combos later i am at the point here in england where they will consider ECT.. looks like beginning february i will be having it as i think 3 years is long enough of this pain. Prior to this i was a college lecturer, its hard to explain to people that you just want wellness back, the ability to wash, dress, go for a coffee, have a job, not be in agony and want to do things!
im rambling sorry.. i can't remember if you said much about it but i want to know, where you scared? or did it just feel like the right thing to do? i have bad anxiety also so as you can imagine.. I'm terrified of how I'm going to wake up! your videos have been a source of some comfort, you coped admirably.
xhannahx
Hi Hannah, omgsh you were not rambling at all! One of the main reasons I started this channel is to have the opportunity to talk with other people about their experiences and struggles and hear their stories. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story with me. Over the past 5 years, I have often felt so alone. Not because I didn't have support but because I didn't know anyone else who was suffering from the same disease. While I would never wish this on anyone, it can be comforting to talk to otheres who know EXACTLY what you're experiencing. Your story is so much like mine. I totally know what you mean about trying to explain to people what it's like to just lose all desire to do anything at all. The only thing in the world you want is to just feel normal again, to just be able to live life without feeling like brushing your teeth is the hardest thing you could ever do.
I am so glad that you are going to get the opportunity to try ECT. 3 years is 3 years too long! To be completely honest, I was terrified of the idea of ECT when I first learned about it. I actually refused to do it for two years because I was so scared. I just finally got to a point where I couldn't take the depression anymore. I'll tell you about my experience with waking up. One of the things the doctors will probably tell you is that there is a good chance that you will wake up with a headache and nausea. However, they are able to give medicine beforehand to prevent this from happening. It can take a couple of tries to figure out how much they need to give you though. For me, it took three tries to find the right amount. So the first two times, I did wake up with the headache and nausea. I promise you though, it's no worse than a mild case of the flu. Also, I was so out of it after the procedure that I slept most of the day anyways and woke up feeling just fine. When we were able to find the right amount of medicine, I woke up just feeling very out of it. Basically, you slowly wake up but still feel very tired. You go home and sleep the rest of day.
It may take a few tries, but I'm sure that your wakeup will be just fine. I hope that explanation helped ease your anxiety some. Please let me know if you have any other questions, I know how daunting it can seem without experiencing yet. Best of luck in your treatment, and if you can, let me know how your experience is. Best wishes!
I don’t struggle with depression but a certain medication that I’m on is very much so a struggle so ect helps and what you said about trying that one medication and then backing away from it actually everything you said was inspiring to hear so thank you.
thank you so, so much for this video. i smiled often, and the information is so valuable. i applaud you for this. -Matt
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm about to start my own course of treatment, and your posts really helped to assuage my fears.
Hi Blake! It is so good to hear that you are feeling confident about your treatment and that I was able to help in a small way. That was my goal in starting this channel because I completely understand how scary it is. If you can, let me know how your treatment goes. Best wishes!
Temporarily impacts cognition like the processing of signs, colors or shapes ie pattern recognition; not short or long term memory. Ive had it and was cared for by a wonderful team of Pinoy nurses ie Maggie and Rose at Good Samaritan Hospital Downers Grove IL.
You haven’t had any memory problems?
Thank you for posting all of these... i feel like I’m at the end of my rope... i stumbled on ECT and I’m thinking about trying it
Hi Abby, did you do it? How do you feel now?
Thanks, always inspiring to hear a patient with great results
you're amazing! so happy to hear you're doing so well, you deserve it!! x
you are too sweet! thank you so much :)
I really like your videos because you explain everything and give us a different perspective on things. Which is fantastic.
Usually we use "depression" quite freely without knowing how intense and deep this word means. To which I apology.
So, thanks. I do appreciate your videos. They give me a new perspective on life. My ignorance is diminished . And I sincerely thank you.
I'm glad you are ok. Great!
You have my total gratitude. And a friend as well.
Hi Tiberius! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad that you like the videos and that they have given you a new perspective. The word "depression" can often be overused and misused and I really appreciate that you recognize this. Thank you so much for your support. Having people who understand is so very encouraging and I very much appreciate that from you. I hope that all is well with you!
Truly phenomenal! Very moving and inspiring from start to finish! (from the first video, i mean) I'm considering the same thing, as well as my best friend. We both struggle with depression, lot of which end up into suicidal thoughts & attempts. After doing some research and watching your diary, I feel pretty confident about trying ECT. I'm currently 18 years old and a senior in high school. My friend is 19 and recently graduated. My only issue with this is I quit my medications cold turkey to enlist into the military. I've been off my medication for a year and have had my fair share of ups and down. I don't leave for Basic Training until June 30th 2014, but i feel like my situation has worsen tremendously. I fear I won't last long enough for that day to arrive. I'm truly lost because of a few reason: 1.) I don't want to jeopardize my career due to my mental health. 2.) I'm not sure if my insurance will cover for this. 3.) I don't know if i'll be able to experience the full effect of the treatment due to the short period of time available. I don't know what to do :( I'm gonna suggest this to the medical professionals I've been seeing. Hopefully they'll be able to give me an idea of what to do.
hello Jenny
Thank you for telling us your experience about ECT through your diary. I think your testimony will be important for all those who find themselves in the same situation of health.
I think it would be important to see a video of the ECT treatment you receive. I think that would be the right completion of your story and would better understand the treatment to which you submit .
Hi!
I would love to be able to show my treatment on video, but unfortunately, the medical center doesn't allow procedures to be filmed. Thank you very much for the suggestion though. It would be really great if I could :(
What a pity! would have been very interesting and instructive. I think you be the best person to testify the effectiveness of therapy ect and the video would have shown that it is a painless treatment away from the one shown in old movies and that scares a lot of people :)
dolcestella07
I totally agree. It's portrayed so terribly. I was completely against it for about three years because that was my impression of it.
Thank you again Jenny for the video. I still come back and watch your sharing from time to time. My ECT went well (except for the memory loss). Hope everything goes well!!
You are saving lives ❤
I just spoke to my psychiatrist about trying ect but and so scared. I just want to smile again
In my prayers. Peace.
So happy for you.
I lost months of my life and I don't know if the memories that have come back are real or not...but I stopped stabbing myself in the stomach so...that's something.
The thing that keeps me depressed is the fact that low income people suffering from depression do not have access to ECT or new meds like Abilify.
You are a brave young woman.
I completely agree Kristin; it's heartbreaking to know that there are so many people without access to treatment. I hope that I can be a part of making that change. Thank you for your kind words and I hope that things continue to get better for you.
in which country you live
all countries provide ect to low income people especially australia
I’m starting therapy in February. Your confidence inspires and encourage me. Looking forward to feeling better.
It’s been 2 years how did it work for you??? I’m thinking of trying it and starting to look into it… much love hope it worked out ❤
Hi. I do ECT for major depression. Have been doing it now for years. Keep fighting the fight. I still have my bad days. I hope your goods outnumber your bads.
How long does it work for you? Any memory problems?
@@LS-wr9ur after my first three weeks of treatment I go only once every 6-8 weeks.
Melissa Whitley oh wow that’s a lot of follow up, can’t imagine the toll on memory. Doing TMS right now I just hope it works
My sin suffered from CATATONIC state had to have ECT to pull him out of this MEMORY LOSS apparent but my son lived on his own for years now i had to move all his stuff back home with me this is horrible for him
Your son lived on his own after ECT? Or after ECT you had to move him?
Because his memory was too bad?
Dear Jenny, I need your help. I'm going to be undergoing ect in the near future & I'm really unsure & scared. I've watched all of your videos and wondered how your feelings now that the excitement of your wedding is behind you. Would you please make a new up to date video and let us know ! It would mean the world to me. Congratulations, hope your day was beautiful like you are sharing your story.
Hi Christine! I'm hoping to film a new video tomorrow, but I can tell you that things are going very well. I'll have more details in the video. I was definitely scared too when I was first going to do ECT. It's definitely something that is frightening concept. I want to reassure you and tell you that it is going to be just fine. After you go in the first few times, it's going to become routine. Let me know how your treatment goes if you can. I wish you the best of luck.
Hi honey ...I'm glad you are getting better ...it is life saving and you did it...
I'd like to forget 90% of all my memories permanently
Watching your video again after several years. I will be going in for ECT treatments, and your experience and insights are very helpful and hopeful for me and others. Thank you so much! How are you doing now?
Thank you for this. We are waiting for insurance approval right now for our 24 year old son. We are a little concerned because of all of the negative reviews of ECT but feel that this is one of our last choices right now. Thank you!
I don't know if getting my memory back is necessarily a good thing, because then I'd also remember all the depression and events involved with it. I'd like to be able to cancel out stuff permanently. Like deleting my hard drive, or a lot of it.
How many session you got
you're sweet you deserve to be happy!
Thank you for making these videos, it really helps to know that I'm not alone on this. For the past 3-4 years I've been feeling very depressed, I'm always thinking about the bad things that happen in my life and like you said, every once in a while I get motivated to start doing something significant it just goes away the next day. I've wanted to go to a psychiatrist for a long time but my family has been having economic problems the past few years (they don't know about how I feel because I'm always trying to hide it), I hope I can have a continuos therapy session soon.
Hi Mauricio, thank you so much for the comment. I am so sorry that the past 4 years have been so hard. Isn't the motivation thing so frustrating? I obviously don't know your situation, but I want to encourage you to reach out to your family. I cannot stress to you enough how much it helps to have moral support. They may not be able to help you see a doctor sooner, but they can be there for you through your tough times just as it sounds that you have been there for them during difficult times. I am so sorry that it is taking so long for you to be able to see a psychiatrist. I am sending you the best wishes and I really hope that you are able to get treatment soon. I promise you things are going to get better. If you can, update me on how your treatment progresses. Sending many good thoughts your way!
I did 6 bilateral ECT for six treatments. That's all I did I finished 6 weeks ago and my memory is just getting worse. I have lost whole people! My husband and bestfriend have to fill me in on my my life. My depression has gotten worse because I my memory is just so bad! I hope for best for you ❤
Also my memory is getting worse not better. My doctor says buy this time they they think its temporary
@@lauraknighten9964 hi Laura has your memory returned?
@@gregb9264 not as much as you would think… I still have a hard time recognizing people or remembering there names. I also can’t drive still…
@@lauraknighten9964 I’m sorry to hear that
Did you depresssion atleast get better? I imagine you might not even remember how it was before for comparison and I kind of hate to even ask that so forgive me if it was tacky
@@lauraknighten9964Hi, wanted to see how you are doing? Please let us know if your memory returned or what further treatment did you do if necessary?
Thank you for sharing. My brother starts his ECT treatments this week. He is delusional and paranoid. We are hopeful.
Did ECT work for your brother?
@@nathantw it did! He is back home and working and functioning as a normal adult! I think he did maybe 6 sessions?
@@allisonm7234 Thank you so much for responding, Allison. The doctors are really pushing for ECT for my wife to the extent that one doctor was giving me a hard sale like "if she doesn't get it done we'll give her the pills she's been taking and send her home." I just don't like the risk of her losing her memory. So I looked at TMS that's non-evasive. I'll mention that to the doctor when i speak with her next. She'll probably say no. So, I'm really glad to hear that ECT worked in your brother's case. Most likely they'll start ECT on my wife next week if she says yes.
@@nathantw The only memory loss he had was around the treatment time, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I think the more sessions you do the more likely you are to lose more memory? I don't know so don't quote me. It was truly a blessing. It's almost like the brain just needed a reset. I pray if y'all decide to do it that it is successful and will help her! I know how stressful it can be. We are so glad to have my brother back to normal.
@@allisonm7234 Thank you again, Allison.
Thank you for sharing. You are beautiful and so precious.
Happy for you.
Hi Jenny, I'm so relieved you posted an update as I was fearing the worst had happened to you not having done an update for so long. I'm currently waiting to see a psychiatrist to hopefully get approval for ECT but that probably won't be happening until next year because of our shitty system here. I wanted to ask did the depression and anxiety alter your sense of smell and taste at all? I think my depression and anxiety has altered mine because I seem over-sensitive to bad smells and I think I also misperceive smells that other people find pleasant as foul odours. Anyhow I wish you all the best, fingers crossed you stay as good as you are now.
Hi! Thank you so much for your good wishes. I am sending many your way in the hopes that you get approved as soon as possible. I completely feel you on a terrible system. For the last several years, I would go months in between appointments because they couldn't get me in. It is not right for any medical condition but for something like what we have, it is for lack of better words bull shit. The sense of taste and smell, yes! I feel that it has altered it, where things that should smell good didn't really seem to any more and being over sensitive to bad smells. So strange what the brain can do. Again, I wish you the best. If you can, let me know when you get approved.
Jenny's ECT Diary Hey Jenny, I finally saw the psychiatrist yesterday and he's approved me for ECT, but to have it done in my town I have to go through the public system so he's had to refer me to a public mental health centre here and they might want to see me for an appointment before they go ahead with it, but the psychiatrist I saw said with his approval for ECT on the referral I shouldn't have any problems getting their approval for it. So good news but I'm still really nervous right now. Would love to see a new update video just to see how you're doing. All the best. ;)
Jenny's ECT Diary It's all approved Jenny, I have my first treatment tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous but I'm going to try to remember how much it has helped you to get me through it.
Ungroomed Lover
I am so happy for you! It's going to be just fine, don't worry. If you can, let me know how it goes. Best of luck!
Jenny's ECT Diary Hi Jenny, just to give you an update I've had 5 unilateral treatments now and I'm still not getting any therapeutic effects. I'm having the 6th treatment on monday and then I get reviewed. I'm thinking at this stage I'll probably end up having to go bilateral like you did, which is a shame because unilateral has so far had no negative effect on my memory or cognition at all. I'm just hoping I don't have any problems getting approved for bilateral. At least now the procedure seems less scary and I know all the people who will be treating me and they're all really nice.
You inspire me as I am considering this x
im so glad you seem to be doing so well now. im scared to be honest because i need to have this done and being a single dad of 3 really worries me . the what ifs?
how are you doing today jenny?
Hi Joseph, thank you so much for your kind words. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Talk to your doctor about the best option in doing the ECT so that it won't affect your kids as much. I promise you that this treatment is worth it. It will be hard at first, but you will be so thankful when it begins to show results. I am going to post a new video, hopefully this week, with an update of how I'm doing. I wish you the absolute best.
Thank you for sharing your story, it gives us hope!
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I am trying to help a family member with med management that just is not working. Maybe ECT is an option. Please let us know if the memory loss gets better.
Rose Jones
Dude! My place started with and only did bi-temporal! And it was AWFUL. I can't believe they didn't tell me that they should start off with unitemporal
I'm inspired ❤
Like like like like!!!!!!!!!! im a med student who r learning bout mental disorder block. ur testimonies r really2 good in understanding ECT
I'm so glad that it's been able to help you!
Jenny's ECT Diary How many treatments do you still have to recover from depression?
alicia burn
Hi Alicia, so I've had 32 treatments so far. I am currently down to once every three weeks. I'm not sure of the exact number I have left, the doctors are just monitoring how I am doing and deciding where we should go from there. I can tell you though that it's been two months now and I have been doing better than I have in years.
What about transcranial magnetic stimulation? TMS? Sorry for what you are going thru.
when you do the next treatment ECT ?
Abilify = anxiety for me. However did speed me up
Hey just wanted to say your super pretty!
Im doing ECT out here in boulder colorado . Im waiting right now to go in. I think im on my 7th treatment? I hate not being able to eat before it lol im hungry . I usually wake up n im like ok doc lets do this n he says your already done hah .
Thank you Taylor :) I know, the not eating thing sucks haha. I wish you the best on your continued treatment!
How are u now plz reply
I wish I had the energy to get that dressed up when I am depressed. :-/
Also everyone going on about psilocybin I literally did a garbage bag of shrooms over 2 weeks and didn't help my depression other then being totally okay with death and dying, it was like sucide acceptance lool yet to try ket
Do you wake up from your body spasming? Does one of your hands spasm / twitch
I know this is ancient but thank you
How are you now
Can you help me to my depression nothings to effect its worst to meds can ect works for me please help me
Hey Jenny, i have another question. do you which type of electrical current they used with you? I believe there are 2 types of current being used for ECT today. Brief Pulse and Ultra Brief Pulse. Ultra Brief Pulse is the newest vesion of ECT and its the version theyre using on me. it has been very mild in terms of the memory loss side effect, but ive had 3 treatments now and havent noticed any benefits yet either.
so im just curious about which version of ECT was used for you?
Hi Lars, I'm so sorry it has taken so long for me to reply to you. They were using brief pulse and I just switched to ultra brief pulse. They have used it the last three treatments and I have noticed that the memory loss is improving. How are your treatments going?
I have been considering it, but I don't know if im depressed or its just my borderline personality disorder. I have gotten super painfully depressed after taking mdma and a maoi together in a weird reckless I don't care if I die attempt I was actually happy at the time, I did this 3 times over 2 weeks somehow I didn't die or have adverse effects however last time I became soo depressed I tried to kill myself but now I think I've suddenly improved within days. I think I just damaged my serotonin receptors and they reset now.
do you have treatment-resistant depression or bipolar depression
Youre a champ!
even with medication you forget stuff :( it sucks i become dumb in school :(
can ect erease all my memory or can forget my allfrends
???
You're cute! Best of luck!
I hope you see this message, I want to know if you have had your memory problem solved as it has been years already?? Please let me know as my brother is deciding to go through this
is ect painfull
Thanks for your video.Ive just started ect (2 sessions) and feel slightly better.I was just wondering if you continued with your regular medication since having success with ect? Thanks and all the best!
I wanna get
ECT for real
You are gorgeous!!!
I'm horrified by my treatment... I was on Section 3 so I didn't sign or consent to it... I wanted it stopped after 5 or 6 treatments; I felt absolutely fine I said to them "I'm happy enough now I don't need it anymore", & I did feel SO much better, but no one listened. I ended up having 9, I saw the last 3 as Torture & Punishment, due to my mental health issues & anxiety. No one would listen to my cries for help. They forced me down on the bed while I was crying, on more than 1 occassion, They didn't anaesthetise me properly because I have sudden jolts and convultions of my body, - very randomely, that have been happening for years... (3 years after I had the course of treatments) ... I am traumatised. I without a doubt have brain damage, for a long time I had pain on the right side of my head, and I have promenant pressure on both sides of my head, that has never left me. My brain has been fried, and I have substantial, terrible memory loss. All I can remember is the complete trauma they all put me through & the ignorance of the Dr and the ECT anaesthetists. :( I know they didn't anaesthetise me properly coz I remember them pushing me onto the bed and holding me down while I was crying saying I don't want it, and the sudden seizures/jolts of my body that I get are proof that I have brain damage. I'm so traumatised from my experience and permenantly mentally & pysically damaged! I am more vulnerable now than I was before, and lost all my dreams to become a singer, or motivation to do anything in life! I've lost my personality and my spark, and A LOT of my fighting spirit! I've lost the real me from ECT. I just couldn't be myself in the hospital that I was in, (Mother & baby Unit) and my depression was circumstantial!, - linked to things that had happened to me, yes coming off medication, but mainly (having my baby took away from me 2 days after having her/post natal depression & long distance relationship, & being locked in the hospital!!! rather than random or ongoing with the Need for ECT. I've tried to sue but with no luck. I've not been in the right place to do it, & my parents are and were on the doctors side. I'm vulnerable & have had no one to help me with persuing a legal case and sueing... I might try again. All I know it that, regardless of being on Section 3, i'm pretty sure that I didn't sign or consent to it!, wasn't given All the information, wasn't listened to when I expressed feeling better and being happy, and wasn't anaesthetised properly towards the end with constant random convultions of my body and a frozen feeling and permenant pressure on my head, with memory loss. My brain basically feels 'dumbed down' !! God knows how many brain cells those last 3 treatments killed. :( #Damaged 🙏
Ellie Rose Singer really?!
@@dearmumma3924 my psychiatrist yesterday all of a sudden said that I need this crap or I will no longer receive any government benefits (money). I am not psychotic or suicidal. All I have is an anxiety disorder and aspergers.
I pray for your full comprehensive healing in Jesus's name
Your story confirms what ECT does. It deletes memory. After a few sessions the memory loss includes some of the things that you were worried about. If these things were not important its not too bad, but sadly many very important things, essential things are also forgotten. Eventually huge swathes of memory are lost and cognitive function too. Life destroying memory and abilities lost forever. Inability to remember how to get anywhere in your own city/town. This is not admitted by the psychiatrists, and it makes normal life impossible.
Consider the wonderful work of Dr Breggin ,, and alternative treatments that are wholist ,love and caring therapy,, Know Jesus love you and God: s protection.
It's too dark--can't see you...
If these are 2k per treatment, how did you pay for this?
I'm Alain ,the way.
When U do the ECT for the first time do u remember the location of ur home ?It is compulsory to bring some body with u or no during the session?
I hope u reply 2 me as soon as u can because I have a session and I don't have any body 2 go with me?
Law suits taking place around ECT. see ectjustice.
You are nice, I love you, it is brutal hard destruction, ECT I mean... You should stop that hell!
I hope you stopped the ECT and are a bit better.
Plz reply
I had ten etc decided to stop
How does damaging the brainhelp heal it ???? Answer that question Stay away !!!!!!
Hello there. just watched your video on ECT . I have been reff by my doc for ect treatment and I'm kinda freaked out . I'm 36 male and have been severely depressed for over 2 years . been on 12 antidepressants and they all made me way worst . horible side effects I tryed diet and praying to god every day . I was wonder how long u were depressed for ?? and can u tell me what happens when u get the treatment ... are you put out ? does it hurt ??
Thanks
Really hmmm ...well I hate the feeling of being stoned . I'm smoked tins of pot in my early 20 but I hate it and can't wait for the feeling to go away . I don't know what to do 12 meds haven't done anything bad side effects memory loss weight gain and more sucidal thoughts ...
If the memories come back then surely the depression will come back to? especially since depression has been linked to maladaptive memories?
Cutie ;p
These kinds of invasive therapies for depression are masking problems with society and shouldn't be casualized.
I have seen people completely healed of this by just seeking God through fervent prayer and fasting. No doctor required. :)
will you shut the fuck up
Funny how those with nothing intelligent to say always seem to resort to curse words.
Gary O. Hey gary,
Get an education, champ.
Great statement. You might as well have typed absolutely nothing.
Gary O. Gary, I'm really happy for you that worked. But most people don't just get over it by believing in an imaginary friend/being (I don't mean this in a demeaning way or anything of that kind but that's just how it is from my perspective) I doubt praying will heal me of what is nothing more than a shortcircuit in my brain. I just can't be happy 'cause my brain doesn't make the substance serotonine. ECT is the only thing they can treat me with before all there is left is euthanasation. Which I will receive 15 octobre if the ECT doesn't help (chances are very slim, 'cause it's been 25 years and I'm tired) So congratulations on finding the Lord and getting better but you're statement is a bit off.
There is nit enough evidence that this actually works..its hit and miss..The negatives far way out the positives..So now you like somepne with Alzheimer's and your so young..ive suffered depression all my life but its not worth adding more problems...