Hiring a nanny doesn't make you a failure as a mother. Take some of the pressure off of yourself. Julia, you're going through so many things right now. But mommy guilt is real. But you don't have to identify with it. You're an amazing parent....don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Sweetie, you're so brave for even saying this on the internet. As a mother of 2, this is the most natural bonded feelings for Smoke. Be gentle with yourself, you're doing awesome and if you continue to have anxiety, the nanny will understand and take back your days with baby boy.
Today’s moms are faced with thinking that you can’t be a stay at home mom ! I feel bad that you are feeling bad about having a nanny. You can choose to stay home, do not let anyone or anything make that decision for you ! Go with your gut ! Babies grow so fast and if you want to be with your child, do so !
Julia, your Smokes mother. Period. Your decisions that you desire to be with your son comes from what Almighty God placed inside each and every woman. Its what we were meant to do. To be a caregiver and a mother to our children. The bond is real. Mother and son/ daughter have a very strong emotional & spiritual connection it started from conception. Give yourself grace. See every little everything is what you don't want to miss.
I think the emotion comes from such a strong love for your baby and sometimes we start to feel guilty because someone else is taking care of them when you're probably thinking you should be able to carry the load all the time. It's okay to have those feelings and allow yourself some you time without feeling bad about it. That's what makes you such a wonderful, loving mom. You're doing great, always know that.
Follow your gut Julia......life is short and you can never get this time missed with Smoke back. Being a stay at home mom with my two kids was the best thing I've ever done in my life and I've never ever regretted it. After they started school I resumed my career. I'm now getting to babysit and enjoy my first grandbaby. I love it so much. Do what is right for you Julia.....my heart feels for you. We all do need a little break ever so often and nothing wrong with that. Take care of yourself. I'm gonna pray for you and the family. You and Hunter are both wonderful parents from what I see. Give yourself grace momma!
I was home with my kids, too. I had to go back to work when they were 7 and 10 due to divorce. It is so incredibly important to be home with our kids and I am so grateful for that time! They are better, healthier people for it!
Oh Julia. So many of us mothers can relate. I went through all of the same emotions & I chose to stay home with our babies. Then I dealt with the guilt of losing myself and feeling like i never had time for myself. No matter what choice you make, you’ll have to choose your hard. Sending you so much love & light. You’re an amazing mama 🤍
A lot of people talk about taking care of a mom right after she has a baby and yes that is important, but I don’t hear alot of people talk about checking in on moms when they go back to work. I’m sitting here in tears with my 1 month old because in 2 months he will be in full-time day care. It’s heartbreaking. Thanks for opening up about this. Makes me appreciate the time I have right now at home with my boy even more ❤️
My 1st baby just turned 3 months old. I came back to work after 8 weeks and you don’t understand the wave of emotions I feel when I think of my daughter being taken care of by someone else “all day” while I’m at work. I miss her so much that when the weekend comes, I literally say to myself, my weekends are for her, I don’t wanna do anything else and if I do it involves her. I want to soak up as much as I can with the time that I have. I hope your transition back to work goes well and you find peace some how while you’re away. I’m glad you posted this comment. It made me feel better about my situation and feel like I’m not alone😔❤️
The fact that you are having all of these emotions shows what an awesome mother you are! Getting additional support IS self care. You can’t pour into sweet Smokey or anyone/thing else from an empty glass. View your nanny as blessing that so many mommies out there would kill to have, try not to attach guilt to it. You got this!!!!❤️🤗
When I had my two younger sons we got a nanny , and I was fine with it for a few days and then I was like nope I need to be the main one tending to them. It was very hard to see someone else doing my job. I was lucky to be able to just stay home with them. I hope you find what’s best for you and mentally helps you, it is hard but Smoke is a happy boy either way it seems ❤❤
Oh Julia! Watching this brought me back to when I had my son! Hormones are so crazy! Give yourself grace. It’s okay to feel it all! In the end you will make the best decision for you and your family! I ended up staying home with my son and it’s the best decision we made❤ you will figure it out! Lots of love to you guys.
Ur so vulnerable in this video thank you for trusting your audience with your emotions the way you did! We love you so much! As a woman on the fence about having kids I truly appreciate seeing the realness of everyday life and the full spectrum of emotions you’re experiencing! Thank u thank u thank u! You are a terrific mom Juj! And u and hunter make such an amazing team!
Having a nanny has helped me tremendously! I have her m, w, and f. My husband pushed me on the idea, even when our families weren’t fond of it. I LOVE HER. I swear it’s made me a better wife, mommy and person overall. I also have a 2 yr old, and 1 yr old so you could say it takes a village 😅 Be gentle on yourself!! You’re doing amazing!!! I promise it gets better
I'm always shocked at how short a maternity leave moms in the US get! Here in Canada it is standard to take 12-18 months. What you're feeling is so normal and you're doing such a great job!
Every mama understands the guilt you are feeling. My son is almost a year old, and I still cry weekly because I feel pulled in 5,000 different directions. We could never have predicted the love we would feel but also the feelings of inadequacy. Hang in there and soak it in day by day ❤
It’s ok to feel what you feel. It will move through you. Allow the feelings to be there w you. You are a strong, and loving momma. And your feelings are normal. Take the time you need to feel it all (& you don’t have to share anything when you don’t want to, but your authenticity makes us all relate to you). Big light & love to you. ❤
Kudos to you for being so open and sharing the hard moments. People could easily turn this on you like “oh there’s worse things that could happen bla bla”But never forget you have ever right to feel these feelings! It just shows how much you care and what a deep person you are ❤ silent watcher but I felt a need to commend your braveness and vulnerability
My mother had several nannies and let me tell you i LOVED her for it!! My favorite ( the one that stayed with us for 18 years is still in my life! It is such a blessing! ❤
You don't need to hire a nanny to give yourself more free time. You need to HIRE someone to do the tasks that are taking too much time from you and Hunter. Video editing is not something business owners should be doing. It takes too much time and it WAY TOO cheap for you not to hire a video editor. Why hire a nanny when it is making you this sad? Why not hire a video editor/hire employees for your business to create more time instead of taking time aware from you and Smoke. The point of having a business is to spend as much time as possible with family! HIRE OUT the low level tasks no need for a nanny!!!
I’m 57 and just started watching. Even though a great age difference, totally see my younger self in you. Thought I would be a breast-feeding girly, it was completely difficult for both of us (my son was also tongue-tied) and stopped it after three months of trying everything. Cried in the pediatrician’s office, when he told me to just stop, that the stress was more harmful to the baby, and he was proud I made it three months. Also, I had just passed the bar and began working and thought I would easily transition into being a working mom. Ended up turning down job offers until I could find one that let me work from home 3 days a week. My primary sitter was my mother, who I completely trust, and even that was an adjustment. If it’s any comfort, my son is an awesome adult now and I am so grateful for the time I had when he was a baby! It is hard, but it goes by so fast! All the best as you figure out this new world! Your little guy is very loved, and that’s the most important thing!
I’m not a mom but watching you be so vulnerable is so sweet and inspiring. Like others have said though be kind to yourself, and give yourself grace. You work so hard, and it’s so evident all the love you have for your sweet boy! Much love from VA
Aww Juj! My momma heart hurts for you. Thanks for being so vulnerable with us. All of your feels are so valid. I can relate so much. As a newish first time mom I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions and I still don’t know what the right answer is. I’d feel so anxious as well leaving my baby. I’m a SAHM and as much as my baby needs me, I need her. She’s the best part of me and I know that’s something I will need to work on eventually but for now I’m just embracing these sweet precious moments and trying to be as present as I can. We’re living in the good ole days and I don’t take that for granted.
First of all thank you for even vlogging the day you had with Smoke. Your feelings are valid and it just goes to show how much being a mother means to you and not wanting to take the time for granted. You are incredible mama
Love you guys! We’re all here for you and to support you! It’s amazing to see your journey and all the lessons especially as someone who is trying for a baby! Thankful for you all 🙏🏼✨
Ugh I feel you, Julia! Being a mom brings out so many big emotions. My anxiety is terrible! It’s definitely coming from loving Smokey so much! You will figure out what is best for you and him. You are an amazing mama!!
Having a nanny is a great idea. Giving yourself the time that you need makes you a better mother. Makes for a happy baby and a happy husband. It’s a win-win all around ❤ in the end it’s about having that quality time with those that you 💕
Aww, sending hugs and love. The fact that you are crying shows what an incredibly loving mother you are. It's inspiring to see how raw you are about these emotions. ❤❤
I just had my baby 3 weeks ago and i find myself having anxiety anytime i think about going back to work.. this video is so relatable & so normal to feel this way !! Sending you love ❤️❤️
Dear Julia…..you have every right to feel those feelings. Smoke is your MOST PRECIOUS COMMODITY he is your life, your heart and your world. Take the time to cry and cry and cry. He is worth it and so are you. Follow your heart and your gut and you will never go wrong.
Love watching you guys with Smoke. You guys are just the sweetest! Just dropped my 23 year old son off 9 hours away for his new career and still have moments of crying! Wish I could say it gets easier. ❤
Got teary-eyed watching this vlog. Julia is such an amazing mother & it shows. As a stay at home mother (who never ever thought I'd be one) I went through the same emotions and now that my daughter is almost 2 I still struggle with the emotions of wanting to go back to work verse wanting to stay home and not miss a thing. Follow your heart mama. Sending lots of love 🤍🤍🤍
Wholeheartedly agree, you won’t regret spending as much time with Smokes as you can. I quit after 1 week to stay home. I went back full force after my 2nd went into 3rd grade ❤ Hang in there Momma!!
Sending you love and hugs, Julia ❤️ I went back to work when my son was 10 weeks and I struggled with similar feelings for a couple months. I gave myself 90 days (felt like a lifetime at first) to assess and make a decision from there. You’ll know what to do. Postpartum is hard for many reasons and this transition is a big one. Whatever you do, it will be the best decision for you and your family.
Julia and Hunter you are both amazing in every way. Julia what you are feeling is normal… please go easy on yourself sweetie. Smoke is precious and looks exactly like both of you😊I love when he looks at himself in the camera. Hang in there guys, you’ve got this! Sending love from CT.❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable. You’re doing an amazing job as a mom and you’re so lucky to have a great and supportive partner in Hunter. Give yourself grace babe and also trust your gut 🤍
Crying with you! 💗 you’re an amazing mom and you’re one of the online moms I follow as I just became a new mom and it’s very refreshing seeing you be vulnerable about childcare
I teared up with you Julia! It’s SO hard to leave your baby with someone else. The feeling of leaving behind your most precious thing in the world is so hard. Even if you trust the person, it’s just so hard. Spending all your time with them to having to leave them with someone else is so hard. It’s okay to feel how you feel. Your feelings are so valid and all us moms have been there 💗💗💗
Awww Girly!! it's competently normal to feel this way, it's your baby he's your everything. don't be hard on yourself at all my son is 10 and when i drop him off the first day of school I still cry. Smoke is so small you're suppose to feel this bond between you too and it's very hard leaving them. Breath you're doing great!
Y’all are blessed to be able to do what you do. I say go with your gut Julia. No need to rush, time goes by so fast! You’ll never regrets staying home with your baby. Needing help is always a must here and there but if you can stay home..why not. Love watching your life on YT❤
Hunny your such a natural loving mother…so beautiful to watch. As a momma to older children, treasure every moment as there is so much truth in how quickly it goes. Trust your heart hunny 🦋x
Julia, you are such an incredible mom. My two boys are 17 and 16 now and I had all of these feelings when they were born. We love our kids so much and it’s a process to learn how to trust what we are feeling. Know that you will always make the right decision and you have such an amazing and supportive husband.
Mom of 3 and this is completely normal! Even with my 3rd he just started daycare 4 weeks ago and some days are hard. You are doing amazing and do not feel pressured by anyone in the comments and what they did and wished they did, you will find a balance and what works best for you. One day at a time. ❤ You are doing amazing!
This is so raw & real. We love & respect yall even more for sharing this with the world, especially you Julia! Brought me to tears. The hives are probably from stress! I experienced them for a year while I had alot of traumatic/stressful things happen in a row. Anxiety was high. High cortisol levels! Look into it!🫶🏼Take this time to enjoy life with Mr. Smokers!!!🥺❤️🥰
You’re such a beautiful mom, J - this is just another season of being a mama, there are so many seasons from this to the first day of kindergarten to the day they drive off for the first time in their own car. ❤
Julia, I am sending you love!🩷 Nothing is more important than being a mother. Being a stay at home mother is truly a blessing. It's one of the most important jobs. Follow your heart and instincts. Peace, love, and blessings! 🙏🏽🙏🏽
What you’re feeling is so normal! I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom but going back to work was the hardest day and now I wish I could stay home all the time. Also remember you’re still experiencing so many hormone changes. Postpartum isn’t over at the 6 week checkup. Do whatever you feel is best for your family!
We know how you feel. Just remember this feeling doesn’t last forever. You are the perfect mom for your baby. He loves you unconditionally and no matter what he is loved by you. Being tired is so awful but you need to put your health first just as much as your son. You both will be better for it. I promise! He loves u so much!
This is SO NORMAL. I went through the same thing and it’s because you’re a GREAT MOM. You love your son so much and it will take sometime for you to get use to for sure. We lie in a crazy world and it’s our job to protect our little ones. I will continue to pray that God gives you peace. You got this mama🩵
Aw Julia ❤️🩹 it made me so sad to see you struggling, I just wanted to give you a hug !! I’m not a mum yet, but I admire you and Hunter so much. You’re both such great parents and smokey is just the best boy. Sending love!!
Not me bawling with Julia😭😭😭😭 you’re a phenomenal mom gf, you’ve got this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Smoke is SO lucky to have you and to have all the love that you have to give him! 🤍
Mom of a 1.5 yr old son here! I’m only 7 minutes into this Vlog but just had to thank you for sharing your raw thoughts and perspective to your audience. I can relate to you SO much. All I knew was the grind before baby and I loved to be busy but then I had my son and everything changed. I valued my time with him more than anything because it’s the most special bond and I knew I wasn’t going to get it back. I thought I wanted to work and didn’t even consider being a sahm so I jumped right back in after leave eventhough we had no help and I was single parenting for 3 days of the week. I worked for 6 months and I was miserable everyday from my brain and body being split in 2 when my son needed me. I love that you are evaluating what you really want because at the end of the day your happiness and what’s the most important and that decision needs to be made on your own, without the pressures of society and work and social media. Work will always be there but these phases in their life go so fast! It’s so important to share what we really go through postpartum. Becoming a mom is the most beautiful, most incredible, and ultimate sacrifice and I’ve never experienced anything like it and some of us really feel our purpose as moms. It was a really hard decision for me to leave my career in tech, I was really excelling and making 6 figures etc etc. but I never look back and regret my decision. I’ve been SO much happier and more fulfilled since and I know that my son feels it. The first 2 years of their life are so important to their development I’m just so much clearer on what’s most important and what’s a priority. So all Thai to say, don’t feel bad for whatever decisions you make and what needs you have at this time in your life. It’s the biggest transition you’ll ever make! Life is too short to not to what you really want so I hope this helps encourage you at all to live life on your own terms. Xoxo
I will also add that I tried to have someone watch in the mornings while I took meetings and instinctually it all felt backwards still and that I needed to be with my son. So it’s totally ok to feel how you feel and ok to make changes. You’re not stuck with this! I have also found a better balance with my own work now and plan to return to work when I find something I know feels right for our new family. Life is fluid! Just sharing the full picture so you get many perspectives. I know you will figure out what’s best for your family. So much love!
Allow yourself time to figure things out. Life is like seasons constantly changing. We all love you and your honesty because all of us moms have experienced these same emotions.
Ughhh I feel this to my core! You are such great parents and I appreciate your conflict with having a nanny. You need to find out what works for all 3 of you. I understand how you feel and can tell you now that I have raised my three daughters and have two beautiful grand children (and now care for them 4 days a week I have the same separation anxiety when I leave them! I wouldn’t give that feeling up for one minute because it just confirms how deeply we are capable of loving others. Just listen to your Mama gut and your heart. The answers will come. And you adjust your life accordingly. I absolutely love watching you both parent and love on “Smoker’s”! He is ADORABLE! 🥰
My babies are 8 and 12 and when they leave for school a little piece of my heart goes with them. It stings.. from daycare to middle school. I can imagine it always will. Your babies are your heart outside of your body.
I never in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. It’s crazy how those little humans turn our worlds upside down! Lol! Praying for you, you will figure it out. ❤❤❤❤
I was a stay at home mom for my daughters first year of life all the way till I had my son when he was about 4-5 months, so almost 2 years. The transition is very hard, it takes a toll on your self conscious, like is it the right decision going back to work or if you're being a "good" mom or even just missing that time with them. It gets better with time though, those feels are normal and will continue to arise. It really does help to have a partner that is supportive in you and the children, reminds you of all the good of why you do what you gotta do. Also, we go through seasons, as he grows older its something that can be reevaluated!😌 You got this Mama!
Julia thank you for sharing what you are going through as a new mom and all the new firsts along the way. This takes a lot of courage so give yourself some grace. Maybe talking to someone to help with navigating these difficult decisions could help. Hugs to you and family.❤
Hey flossy🤗 I’m I’m tears watching you go through this, give yourself some grace, your body has gone through carrying him, giving birth, & taking care of him, it’s more than ok for you & Hunter to take care of yourselves. My baby is 18 now, so were in a different place,but I pit myself in time out to recharge. Lots of love & prayers on this journey.🙏💜
Julia!! Thank you for your vulnerability with us. You are such a great mom and Smoke is so blessed to have you. Praying for you as you navigate this time. I bawled my eyes out leaving my son even for short periods of time and it was so hard to explain because I knew he was safe and loved but I was sad at the same time. It’s just this innate attachment we have to our babies and our instinct is to be with them all the time and protect them ourselves. Much love to you all ❤
I just want to say MY OPINION ONLY…… if u have the ability to stay home with ur baby….TAKE IT …..he is only a baby for a short time….enjoy him and be the mom u want to be even if that means u only need the nanny one day a week or just a couple hours not for longer …..u do u… but the baby is only a baby for a short quick time and every smile every little thing he does matters in this short time if u can be part of it do it….also I was a stay at home mom for my three children and loved every second but in the same breath its not for everyone ….
I commend you for showing your raw emotions. This is so motherhood 😭 i totally feel you! I think its because you love him so much and you dont know this outsider 10000% so theres a bit of unknown fear. Thats how it is for me at least. Mom anxiety is so real😭 Praying for your transition 🤍
Julia you are doing amazing! I have a 1.5 year old son and I can totally relate to you being so emotional about leaving your son with someone. I am a stay at home mom but it’s still hard asking for help or leaving him if I need a break. You will figure out what YOU need and want & it’s still very new for you. It’s normal to be emotional! You are a great mom and you will learn that what works for you is unique to YOU and your families needs. You don’t have to have a solid decision right now, and things might keep changing for you as he gets older. Take it one day at a time! You are an amazing mama ❤️
you are doing amazing Julia!! It is all so hard.Everything you are going through is normal and I feel the same way with 4 kids, my youngest one. Sending lots of love your way. I feel so guilty when my kids go to daycare. Take it easy friend you are doing the best for your fam, no matter what you decide.
Oh Julia!! I started crying when you started crying.... I'm so sorry you're having a hard time processing all this change! Will always support your channel, you're an amazing mom... and human being
I have a 4 month old and I’m struggling so much emotionally I have no time for anything My husband works 6 am - 7/8 pm 6 days a week He has a dangerous job , so I do all the waking up throughout the night Then have the baby alone for 15+ hours every day I am trying to fine myself in this new journey, but it’s really hard. I cry a lot, because I struggled to let my career go and turn down a big promotion I worked so hard for. My mother died when I was 17 and have no family to even talk to. So I feel so much loneliness. I’ve chosen To be a stay at home mom Because I don’t want someone else changing his diaper and taking care of him from my past trauma I’ve experienced as a child. It’s really hard and so exhausting you are not alone You are so blessed that hunter gets to be with you and work as a team. Sending love from one new mom to another ❤ we aren’t alone Thanks for being vulnerable, it helped me not completely feel alone it’s not the same scenario but similar feelings
Anxiety can be a form of PPD. It is so common and such a struggle. I struggled with it last year with my son. Take your time. Don’t feel like you need to have it all figured out. Emotions are high and you may feel differently in a month or even a year. It took me over a year to feel like myself postpartum emotionally and to let go of some of that anxiety. Give yourself grace because you are doing great momma! Ps. Hunter is so amazing. He does a great job at validating your feelings and emotions. Continue to lean on him during this time. 💕
Thank you Julia for being so raw and real. I just had a baby and am already feeling the weight of making a similar decision between working and staying home. I fully understand the almost heartbreak at the thought of leaving my baby in the care of someone else, no matter how wonderful they are, it makes a mama’s heart ache for sure. ❤
Ive never commented on a vid before but wanted to say Thank you for being vulnerable on your vlogs, as a new mom its comforting to see Im not alone with the hormones/anxiety. Also, sometimes overthinking can make figuring it out harder, maybe try to take a day or two off of thinking about it like schedule the worry for another day and youll likely have a clearer mindset on it.
You’re doing great Julia keep it up❤ a lot of emotions when deciding what is the best decision but don’t be too hard on your self everything always works out. Sending love 💗
This is bringing me back to when my son was a baby and yes Julia it’s a little easier when you have your mom watch him like I was able to to but kindergarten I cried for the whole week. Your a awesome mama juj❤
I feel like all mama’s go through this but you are such a great mom, honestly you’re both such beautiful parents ❤ Smoke is going to have so much fun growing up with the two of you leading the way❤
I felt the same exact way with my first, and almost quit my remote job but decided to push through. A family member offered to nanny for us after a couple months and that is seriously the only way I made it through that first year. That guilt is normal, take it day by day. It does get easier the older they get but I cherish every moment I have with my kids.
I feel this with my entire being. I hired a nanny after having my son and battled with myself trying to find the balance between being a good mom and making time for work. A year later, I can honestly say it gets better and my son gained an amazing person that he loves so much that still watches him while i work! Do what is best for you and your family 🫶🏼
Thank you for sharing this vulnerability. I’m not a mother but I did have a tough week and watching this video made me feel like it was okay and a normal thing we all go through in life. Thank you for sharing
I am a new mom on maternity leave and this made me cry with you! I am so nervous about going back to work because I just love spending every moment with my baby boy! Your feelings are so valid mama. You are doing amazing and are such a good mom. ❤ follow your mom gut, and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Hiring a nanny doesn't make you a failure as a mother. Take some of the pressure off of yourself. Julia, you're going through so many things right now. But mommy guilt is real. But you don't have to identify with it. You're an amazing parent....don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Sweetie, you're so brave for even saying this on the internet. As a mother of 2, this is the most natural bonded feelings for Smoke. Be gentle with yourself, you're doing awesome and if you continue to have anxiety, the nanny will understand and take back your days with baby boy.
Follow your instincts Momma, it’s ok to want to be home with your baby, the time goes by so fast
Yes! I still miss baby time and my kids are 23 and 26. Does it ever go away? Maybe not. :)
So agree time flies.
If only we could turn back the hands of time. My children are now adults. ❤
Today’s moms are faced with thinking that you can’t be a stay at home mom ! I feel bad that you are feeling bad about having a nanny. You can choose to stay home, do not let anyone or anything make that decision for you ! Go with your gut ! Babies grow so fast and if you want to be with your child, do so !
Julia, your Smokes mother. Period. Your decisions that you desire to be with your son comes from what Almighty God placed inside each and every woman. Its what we were meant to do. To be a caregiver and a mother to our children. The bond is real. Mother and son/ daughter have a very strong emotional & spiritual connection it started from conception.
Give yourself grace.
See every little everything is what you don't want to miss.
Yep, it’s not natural to separate from a baby so young.
I think the emotion comes from such a strong love for your baby and sometimes we start to feel guilty because someone else is taking care of them when you're probably thinking you should be able to carry the load all the time. It's okay to have those feelings and allow yourself some you time without feeling bad about it. That's what makes you such a wonderful, loving mom. You're doing great, always know that.
Follow your gut Julia......life is short and you can never get this time missed with Smoke back. Being a stay at home mom with my two kids was the best thing I've ever done in my life and I've never ever regretted it. After they started school I resumed my career. I'm now getting to babysit and enjoy my first grandbaby. I love it so much.
Do what is right for you Julia.....my heart feels for you. We all do need a little break ever so often and nothing wrong with that. Take care of yourself. I'm gonna pray for you and the family. You and Hunter are both wonderful parents from what I see. Give yourself grace momma!
This is the perfect message to Julia...i hope she reads and sees this🙏🧡❤️💝
I was home with my kids, too. I had to go back to work when they were 7 and 10 due to divorce. It is so incredibly important to be home with our kids and I am so grateful for that time! They are better, healthier people for it!
Oh Julia. So many of us mothers can relate. I went through all of the same emotions & I chose to stay home with our babies. Then I dealt with the guilt of losing myself and feeling like i never had time for myself. No matter what choice you make, you’ll have to choose your hard. Sending you so much love & light. You’re an amazing mama 🤍
A lot of people talk about taking care of a mom right after she has a baby and yes that is important, but I don’t hear alot of people talk about checking in on moms when they go back to work. I’m sitting here in tears with my 1 month old because in 2 months he will be in full-time day care. It’s heartbreaking. Thanks for opening up about this. Makes me appreciate the time I have right now at home with my boy even more ❤️
My 1st baby just turned 3 months old. I came back to work after 8 weeks and you don’t understand the wave of emotions I feel when I think of my daughter being taken care of by someone else “all day” while I’m at work. I miss her so much that when the weekend comes, I literally say to myself, my weekends are for her, I don’t wanna do anything else and if I do it involves her. I want to soak up as much as I can with the time that I have. I hope your transition back to work goes well and you find peace some how while you’re away. I’m glad you posted this comment. It made me feel better about my situation and feel like I’m not alone😔❤️
Can you find a way to be home for at least the first year? Preferably the first 3 years?
The fact that you are having all of these emotions shows what an awesome mother you are! Getting additional support IS self care. You can’t pour into sweet Smokey or anyone/thing else from an empty glass. View your nanny as blessing that so many mommies out there would kill to have, try not to attach guilt to it. You got this!!!!❤️🤗
Watching Julia changing Smokes diaper and seeing his little hand come up and touch her arm is so beyond precious, I cried.💞
When I had my two younger sons we got a nanny , and I was fine with it for a few days and then I was like nope I need to be the main one tending to them. It was very hard to see someone else doing my job. I was lucky to be able to just stay home with them. I hope you find what’s best for you and mentally helps you, it is hard but Smoke is a happy boy either way it seems ❤❤
Oh Julia! Watching this brought me back to when I had my son! Hormones are so crazy! Give yourself grace. It’s okay to feel it all! In the end you will make the best decision for you and your family! I ended up staying home with my son and it’s the best decision we made❤ you will figure it out! Lots of love to you guys.
Ur so vulnerable in this video thank you for trusting your audience with your emotions the way you did! We love you so much! As a woman on the fence about having kids I truly appreciate seeing the realness of everyday life and the full spectrum of emotions you’re experiencing! Thank u thank u thank u! You are a terrific mom Juj! And u and hunter make such an amazing team!
Having a nanny has helped me tremendously! I have her m, w, and f. My husband pushed me on the idea, even when our families weren’t fond of it. I LOVE HER. I swear it’s made me a better wife, mommy and person overall. I also have a 2 yr old, and 1 yr old so you could say it takes a village 😅
Be gentle on yourself!! You’re doing amazing!!! I promise it gets better
I'm always shocked at how short a maternity leave moms in the US get! Here in Canada it is standard to take 12-18 months. What you're feeling is so normal and you're doing such a great job!
Same here in the U.K. maternity leave is at least 9 months long and with annual leave saved up can be 10-11 months long.
Same in Estonia, 1,5 years paid maternity and most moms even stay home longer🫣 makes me feel so lucky, but also so sad that isnt the norm everywhere.
right at my job you get 1 month and dads get two weeks, it can any be expanded for the mom and its only if you have a medical reason
Every mama understands the guilt you are feeling. My son is almost a year old, and I still cry weekly because I feel pulled in 5,000 different directions. We could never have predicted the love we would feel but also the feelings of inadequacy. Hang in there and soak it in day by day ❤
Luv it’s the knowing no one’s gonna take care and love your baby like you and your family would.😢🙏
Our babies make us the happiest. Do what works for yourself and your family. 💞
Thank you for showing this side of motherhood. I went through the same thing with so many tearful days. You’re not alone ❤
It’s ok to feel what you feel. It will move through you. Allow the feelings to be there w you. You are a strong, and loving momma. And your feelings are normal. Take the time you need to feel it all (& you don’t have to share anything when you don’t want to, but your authenticity makes us all relate to you). Big light & love to you. ❤
Kudos to you for being so open and sharing the hard moments. People could easily turn this on you like “oh there’s worse things that could happen bla bla”But never forget you have ever right to feel these feelings! It just shows how much you care and what a deep person you are ❤ silent watcher but I felt a need to commend your braveness and vulnerability
My mother had several nannies and let me tell you i LOVED her for it!! My favorite ( the one that stayed with us for 18 years is still in my life! It is such a blessing! ❤
You don't need to hire a nanny to give yourself more free time. You need to HIRE someone to do the tasks that are taking too much time from you and Hunter. Video editing is not something business owners should be doing. It takes too much time and it WAY TOO cheap for you not to hire a video editor. Why hire a nanny when it is making you this sad? Why not hire a video editor/hire employees for your business to create more time instead of taking time aware from you and Smoke. The point of having a business is to spend as much time as possible with family! HIRE OUT the low level tasks no need for a nanny!!!
THIS
I’m 57 and just started watching. Even though a great age difference, totally see my younger self in you. Thought I would be a breast-feeding girly, it was completely difficult for both of us (my son was also tongue-tied) and stopped it after three months of trying everything. Cried in the pediatrician’s office, when he told me to just stop, that the stress was more harmful to the baby, and he was proud I made it three months. Also, I had just passed the bar and began working and thought I would easily transition into being a working mom. Ended up turning down job offers until I could find one that let me work from home 3 days a week. My primary sitter was my mother, who I completely trust, and even that was an adjustment. If it’s any comfort, my son is an awesome adult now and I am so grateful for the time I had when he was a baby! It is hard, but it goes by so fast! All the best as you figure out this new world! Your little guy is very loved, and that’s the most important thing!
I’m not a mom but watching you be so vulnerable is so sweet and inspiring. Like others have said though be kind to yourself, and give yourself grace. You work so hard, and it’s so evident all the love you have for your sweet boy! Much love from
VA
Aww Juj! My momma heart hurts for you. Thanks for being so vulnerable with us. All of your feels are so valid. I can relate so much. As a newish first time mom I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions and I still don’t know what the right answer is. I’d feel so anxious as well leaving my baby. I’m a SAHM and as much as my baby needs me, I need her. She’s the best part of me and I know that’s something I will need to work on eventually but for now I’m just embracing these sweet precious moments and trying to be as present as I can. We’re living in the good ole days and I don’t take that for granted.
First of all thank you for even vlogging the day you had with Smoke. Your feelings are valid and it just goes to show how much being a mother means to you and not wanting to take the time for granted. You are incredible mama
Love you guys! We’re all here for you and to support you! It’s amazing to see your journey and all the lessons especially as someone who is trying for a baby! Thankful for you all 🙏🏼✨
Ugh I feel you, Julia! Being a mom brings out so many big emotions. My anxiety is terrible! It’s definitely coming from loving Smokey so much! You will figure out what is best for you and him. You are an amazing mama!!
Having a nanny is a great idea. Giving yourself the time that you need makes you a better mother. Makes for a happy baby and a happy husband. It’s a win-win all around ❤ in the end it’s about having that quality time with those that you 💕
Aww, sending hugs and love. The fact that you are crying shows what an incredibly loving mother you are. It's inspiring to see how raw you are about these emotions. ❤❤
I just had my baby 3 weeks ago and i find myself having anxiety anytime i think about going back to work.. this video is so relatable & so normal to feel this way !! Sending you love ❤️❤️
Dear Julia…..you have every right to feel those feelings. Smoke is your MOST PRECIOUS COMMODITY he is your life, your heart and your world. Take the time to cry and cry and cry. He is worth it and so are you. Follow your heart and your gut and you will never go wrong.
Love watching you guys with Smoke. You guys are just the sweetest! Just dropped my 23 year old son off 9 hours away for his new career and still have moments of crying! Wish I could say it gets easier. ❤
Got teary-eyed watching this vlog. Julia is such an amazing mother & it shows. As a stay at home mother (who never ever thought I'd be one) I went through the same emotions and now that my daughter is almost 2 I still struggle with the emotions of wanting to go back to work verse wanting to stay home and not miss a thing. Follow your heart mama. Sending lots of love 🤍🤍🤍
Wholeheartedly agree, you won’t regret spending as much time with Smokes as you can. I quit after 1 week to stay home. I went back full force after my 2nd went into 3rd grade ❤ Hang in there Momma!!
Thank you for sharing juj ❤ there is so much strength in your vulnerability and I admire everything about this video. Sending you so much love!!
Love how open you were with your emotions this vlog and processing through them 🤍 Thank you for sharing!
Awww Julia! Your feelings/emotions are so valid! Your heart will lead talk to the right decision. 🫶🏻
Sending you love and hugs, Julia ❤️ I went back to work when my son was 10 weeks and I struggled with similar feelings for a couple months. I gave myself 90 days (felt like a lifetime at first) to assess and make a decision from there. You’ll know what to do. Postpartum is hard for many reasons and this transition is a big one. Whatever you do, it will be the best decision for you and your family.
Julia and Hunter you are both amazing in every way. Julia what you are feeling is normal… please go easy on yourself sweetie. Smoke is precious and looks exactly like both of you😊I love when he looks at himself in the camera. Hang in there guys, you’ve got this! Sending love from CT.❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable. You’re doing an amazing job as a mom and you’re so lucky to have a great and supportive partner in Hunter. Give yourself grace babe and also trust your gut 🤍
Crying with you! 💗 you’re an amazing mom and you’re one of the online moms I follow as I just became a new mom and it’s very refreshing seeing you be vulnerable about childcare
You are doing such a good job processing and feeling Julia. We love you. Take as long as you need
you’re such an amazing mama Julia. the way you love him is so apparent 💓
I teared up with you Julia! It’s SO hard to leave your baby with someone else. The feeling of leaving behind your most precious thing in the world is so hard. Even if you trust the person, it’s just so hard. Spending all your time with them to having to leave them with someone else is so hard. It’s okay to feel how you feel. Your feelings are so valid and all us moms have been there 💗💗💗
Awww Girly!! it's competently normal to feel this way, it's your baby he's your everything. don't be hard on yourself at all my son is 10 and when i drop him off the first day of school I still cry. Smoke is so small you're suppose to feel this bond between you too and it's very hard leaving them. Breath you're doing great!
Y’all are blessed to be able to do what you do. I say go with your gut Julia. No need to rush, time goes by so fast! You’ll never regrets staying home with your baby. Needing help is always a must here and there but if you can stay home..why not. Love watching your life on YT❤
Hunny your such a natural loving mother…so beautiful to watch. As a momma to older children, treasure every moment as there is so much truth in how quickly it goes. Trust your heart hunny 🦋x
Julia, you are such an incredible mom. My two boys are 17 and 16 now and I had all of these feelings when they were born. We love our kids so much and it’s a process to learn how to trust what we are feeling. Know that you will always make the right decision and you have such an amazing and supportive husband.
Mom of 3 and this is completely normal! Even with my 3rd he just started daycare 4 weeks ago and some days are hard. You are doing amazing and do not feel pressured by anyone in the comments and what they did and wished they did, you will find a balance and what works best for you. One day at a time. ❤ You are doing amazing!
Thank you for opening up with us your emotions are always valid here❤
Everytime Smoke looks in the camera 🥹🥹 my heart! We love and appreciate the vulnerability Juj!! You got this ❤️🔥
This is so raw & real. We love & respect yall even more for sharing this with the world, especially you Julia! Brought me to tears. The hives are probably from stress! I experienced them for a year while I had alot of traumatic/stressful things happen in a row. Anxiety was high. High cortisol levels! Look into it!🫶🏼Take this time to enjoy life with Mr. Smokers!!!🥺❤️🥰
You’re such a beautiful mom, J - this is just another season of being a mama, there are so many seasons from this to the first day of kindergarten to the day they drive off for the first time in their own car. ❤
Julia, I am sending you love!🩷 Nothing is more important than being a mother. Being a stay at home mother is truly a blessing. It's one of the most important jobs. Follow your heart and instincts.
Peace, love, and blessings! 🙏🏽🙏🏽
What you’re feeling is so normal! I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom but going back to work was the hardest day and now I wish I could stay home all the time. Also remember you’re still experiencing so many hormone changes. Postpartum isn’t over at the 6 week checkup. Do whatever you feel is best for your family!
Awe Juj… you are doing an amazing job. You 2 were made to be parents. I love watching yalls journey. You will make the right choice for you!
Sending prayers and hugs to you Julia 🙏🏼 I cried with you it was an emotional video I can only imagine your struggles. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
We know how you feel. Just remember this feeling doesn’t last forever. You are the perfect mom for your baby. He loves you unconditionally and no matter what he is loved by you. Being tired is so awful but you need to put your health first just as much as your son. You both will be better for it. I promise! He loves u so much!
This is SO NORMAL. I went through the same thing and it’s because you’re a GREAT MOM. You love your son so much and it will take sometime for you to get use to for sure. We lie in a crazy world and it’s our job to protect our little ones. I will continue to pray that God gives you peace. You got this mama🩵
Aw Julia ❤️🩹 it made me so sad to see you struggling, I just wanted to give you a hug !! I’m not a mum yet, but I admire you and Hunter so much. You’re both such great parents and smokey is just the best boy. Sending love!!
Julia, you do as you can and as you want.
Sending you a warm hug !! ❤🌺
Not me bawling with Julia😭😭😭😭 you’re a phenomenal mom gf, you’ve got this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Smoke is SO lucky to have you and to have all the love that you have to give him! 🤍
Mom of a 1.5 yr old son here! I’m only 7 minutes into this Vlog but just had to thank you for sharing your raw thoughts and perspective to your audience. I can relate to you SO much. All I knew was the grind before baby and I loved to be busy but then I had my son and everything changed. I valued my time with him more than anything because it’s the most special bond and I knew I wasn’t going to get it back. I thought I wanted to work and didn’t even consider being a sahm so I jumped right back in after leave eventhough we had no help and I was single parenting for 3 days of the week. I worked for 6 months and I was miserable everyday from my brain and body being split in 2 when my son needed me. I love that you are evaluating what you really want because at the end of the day your happiness and what’s the most important and that decision needs to be made on your own, without the pressures of society and work and social media. Work will always be there but these phases in their life go so fast! It’s so important to share what we really go through postpartum. Becoming a mom is the most beautiful, most incredible, and ultimate sacrifice and I’ve never experienced anything like it and some of us really feel our purpose as moms. It was a really hard decision for me to leave my career in tech, I was really excelling and making 6 figures etc etc. but I never look back and regret my decision. I’ve been SO much happier and more fulfilled since and I know that my son feels it. The first 2 years of their life are so important to their development I’m just so much clearer on what’s most important and what’s a priority. So all Thai to say, don’t feel bad for whatever decisions you make and what needs you have at this time in your life. It’s the biggest transition you’ll ever make! Life is too short to not to what you really want so I hope this helps encourage you at all to live life on your own terms. Xoxo
I will also add that I tried to have someone watch in the mornings while I took meetings and instinctually it all felt backwards still and that I needed to be with my son. So it’s totally ok to feel how you feel and ok to make changes. You’re not stuck with this! I have also found a better balance with my own work now and plan to return to work when I find something I know feels right for our new family. Life is fluid! Just sharing the full picture so you get many perspectives. I know you will figure out what’s best for your family. So much love!
So early! Love you guys been a silent follower for a couple years you two just keep getting better!! ❤
Allow yourself time to figure things out. Life is like seasons constantly changing. We all love you and your honesty because all of us moms have experienced these same emotions.
Thank you for being so transparent. You’re doing great! 💕
Awwww I feel you mumma! Sending you big hugs and strength to get through this period.. you will get there ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ughhh I feel this to my core! You are such great parents and I appreciate your conflict with having a nanny. You need to find out what works for all 3 of you. I understand how you feel and can tell you now that I have raised my three daughters and have two beautiful grand children (and now care for them 4 days a week I have the same separation anxiety when I leave them! I wouldn’t give that feeling up for one minute because it just confirms how deeply we are capable of loving others. Just listen to your Mama gut and your heart. The answers will come. And you adjust your life accordingly. I absolutely love watching you both parent and love on “Smoker’s”! He is ADORABLE! 🥰
My babies are 8 and 12 and when they leave for school a little piece of my heart goes with them. It stings.. from daycare to middle school. I can imagine it always will. Your babies are your heart outside of your body.
I never in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. It’s crazy how those little humans turn our worlds upside down! Lol! Praying for you, you will figure it out. ❤❤❤❤
Awww girl you made me cry 😢 there's absolutely nothing like a mother's love for her child, you're such a good mama!
Give yourself grace. You are a great mom. Hormones are sooo crazy…even 4 months after. You’re doing great. Just taking it day by day ❤️
I was a stay at home mom for my daughters first year of life all the way till I had my son when he was about 4-5 months, so almost 2 years. The transition is very hard, it takes a toll on your self conscious, like is it the right decision going back to work or if you're being a "good" mom or even just missing that time with them. It gets better with time though, those feels are normal and will continue to arise. It really does help to have a partner that is supportive in you and the children, reminds you of all the good of why you do what you gotta do. Also, we go through seasons, as he grows older its something that can be reevaluated!😌 You got this Mama!
Julia thank you for sharing what you are going through as a new mom and all the new firsts along the way. This takes a lot of courage so give yourself some grace. Maybe talking to someone to help with navigating these difficult decisions could help. Hugs to you and family.❤
Hey flossy🤗 I’m I’m tears watching you go through this, give yourself some grace, your body has gone through carrying him, giving birth, & taking care of him, it’s more than ok for you & Hunter to take care of yourselves. My baby is 18 now, so were in a different place,but I pit myself in time out to recharge. Lots of love & prayers on this journey.🙏💜
Julia!! Thank you for your vulnerability with us. You are such a great mom and Smoke is so blessed to have you. Praying for you as you navigate this time. I bawled my eyes out leaving my son even for short periods of time and it was so hard to explain because I knew he was safe and loved but I was sad at the same time. It’s just this innate attachment we have to our babies and our instinct is to be with them all the time and protect them ourselves. Much love to you all ❤
Julia, your style is such my vibe! ✨
I just want to say MY OPINION ONLY…… if u have the ability to stay home with ur baby….TAKE IT …..he is only a baby for a short time….enjoy him and be the mom u want to be even if that means u only need the nanny one day a week or just a couple hours not for longer …..u do u… but the baby is only a baby for a short quick time and every smile every little thing he does matters in this short time if u can be part of it do it….also I was a stay at home mom for my three children and loved every second but in the same breath its not for everyone ….
I commend you for showing your raw emotions. This is so motherhood 😭 i totally feel you! I think its because you love him so much and you dont know this outsider 10000% so theres a bit of unknown fear.
Thats how it is for me at least. Mom anxiety is so real😭
Praying for your transition 🤍
Julia you are doing amazing! I have a 1.5 year old son and I can totally relate to you being so emotional about leaving your son with someone. I am a stay at home mom but it’s still hard asking for help or leaving him if I need a break. You will figure out what YOU need and want & it’s still very new for you. It’s normal to be emotional! You are a great mom and you will learn that what works for you is unique to YOU and your families needs. You don’t have to have a solid decision right now, and things might keep changing for you as he gets older. Take it one day at a time! You are an amazing mama ❤️
you are doing amazing Julia!! It is all so hard.Everything you are going through is normal and I feel the same way with 4 kids, my youngest one. Sending lots of love your way. I feel so guilty when my kids go to daycare. Take it easy friend you are doing the best for your fam, no matter what you decide.
Oh Julia!! I started crying when you started crying.... I'm so sorry you're having a hard time processing all this change! Will always support your channel, you're an amazing mom... and human being
I have a 4 month old and I’m struggling so much emotionally
I have no time for anything
My husband works 6 am - 7/8 pm 6 days a week
He has a dangerous job , so I do all the waking up throughout the night
Then have the baby alone for 15+ hours every day
I am trying to fine myself in this new journey, but it’s really hard.
I cry a lot, because I struggled to let my career go and turn down a big promotion I worked so hard for.
My mother died when I was 17 and have no family to even talk to. So I feel so much loneliness.
I’ve chosen To be a stay at home mom
Because I don’t want someone else changing his diaper and taking care of him from my past trauma I’ve experienced as a child.
It’s really hard and so exhausting you are not alone
You are so blessed that hunter gets to be with you and work as a team.
Sending love from one new mom to another ❤ we aren’t alone
Thanks for being vulnerable, it helped me not completely feel alone it’s not the same scenario but similar feelings
Anxiety can be a form of PPD. It is so common and such a struggle. I struggled with it last year with my son. Take your time. Don’t feel like you need to have it all figured out. Emotions are high and you may feel differently in a month or even a year. It took me over a year to feel like myself postpartum emotionally and to let go of some of that anxiety. Give yourself grace because you are doing great momma!
Ps. Hunter is so amazing. He does a great job at validating your feelings and emotions. Continue to lean on him during this time. 💕
Thank you Julia for being so raw and real. I just had a baby and am already feeling the weight of making a similar decision between working and staying home. I fully understand the almost heartbreak at the thought of leaving my baby in the care of someone else, no matter how wonderful they are, it makes a mama’s heart ache for sure. ❤
Those first few months are so precious. Take your time easing back in if you want to! Also, it’s okay to have help ❤
Ive never commented on a vid before but wanted to say Thank you for being vulnerable on your vlogs, as a new mom its comforting to see Im not alone with the hormones/anxiety. Also, sometimes overthinking can make figuring it out harder, maybe try to take a day or two off of thinking about it like schedule the worry for another day and youll likely have a clearer mindset on it.
You’re doing great Julia keep it up❤ a lot of emotions when deciding what is the best decision but don’t be too hard on your self everything always works out. Sending love 💗
This is bringing me back to when my son was a baby and yes Julia it’s a little easier when you have your mom watch him like I was able to to but kindergarten I cried for the whole week. Your a awesome mama juj❤
I feel like all mama’s go through this but you are such a great mom, honestly you’re both such beautiful parents ❤ Smoke is going to have so much fun growing up with the two of you leading the way❤
I SO get this. Do what YOU want, you never get the time back. ❤
You are an amazing mother! Praying you find the balance that you need for your family.
You’re not inadequate. Whatever you’re feeling is normal and give your time to process and feel 🫶🏼 You’re doing better than you think!!!!
First off I just want to say…You’re an amazing mother! You inspire me everyday! And I’m praying for you. For comfort and peace.
Oh Julia I wish I could give you a huge mama hug! You are strong and Smokey is so blessed to have you.
I felt the same exact way with my first, and almost quit my remote job but decided to push through. A family member offered to nanny for us after a couple months and that is seriously the only way I made it through that first year. That guilt is normal, take it day by day. It does get easier the older they get but I cherish every moment I have with my kids.
I feel this with my entire being. I hired a nanny after having my son and battled with myself trying to find the balance between being a good mom and making time for work. A year later, I can honestly say it gets better and my son gained an amazing person that he loves so much that still watches him while i work! Do what is best for you and your family 🫶🏼
Thank you for sharing this vulnerability. I’m not a mother but I did have a tough week and watching this video made me feel like it was okay and a normal thing we all go through in life. Thank you for sharing
I am a new mom on maternity leave and this made me cry with you! I am so nervous about going back to work because I just love spending every moment with my baby boy! Your feelings are so valid mama. You are doing amazing and are such a good mom. ❤ follow your mom gut, and don’t be too hard on yourself.