Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Depression - How to Manage Your Emotions
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- How do you know if you have borderline personality disorder versus being depressed? People with borderline personality disorder can feel depressed but not all low moods are depression. You can have both depression and borderline personality disorder. However, with borderline personality disorder you can have dramatic changes in your emotions that are due to emotional dysregulation. In this video I talk about emotional regulation and give you two techniques to manage your emotions.
Borderline Personality Disorder Video
• Bipolar vs Borderline ...
Mindfulness Video
• How To Use Mindfulness...
Recommended self-help books (Includes affiliate links. Any proceeds gains goes to support the channel and do not cost you any additional money)
Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life
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The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD, and Other Anxiety Symptoms
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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
I upload every Wednesday at 9am, and sometimes have extra videos in between. Subscribe to my channel so you don't miss a video goo.gl/DFfT33
Can you make a video about keeping employment and mental health?
Kay P. Yes!!!
Yes!!
Excellent idea!
Heck yes..
Whrn is it ok to speak up and how, put up and when to walk away..?
Omfg...for real!!!! How am I supposed to get & hold down decent work to advance myself in life when it's all I can do to just exist in the world with BPD, Low-Functioning Depression, CPTSD, Trichotillomania, Imposter Syndrome, Dissociation, Dyslexia, and Alcoholism? I practice my DBT exercises as best I can, I take my meds, but it's just not enough to be stable in a job.
i’ve been very confused about my relationship with my mom for a long time she doesn’t believe in mental illness but she has crazy mood swings and usually they happen in episodes that last months of weeks like she’ll have normal emotions and have control of her anger and be in a good mood for a few months and then for the next few months she will get angry at small and weird things and be annoyed by everyone and then suddenly want to go out and party and be all over expressing her love for us a lot and constantly reminding me how much she loves me here’s an example: i tend to adjust to my moms mood so one day i was bringing her lunch to work and i got her a salad from panera she got very mad at me because i had gotten her a small salad with no meat (not what she wanted) she got very angry and said that if i cared about her i would’ve known what salad to get her stating that she had been starving the whole day and working hard and that she couldn’t believe that this “shit” was what i brought her. Skip to a few months later i brought her lunch again but was running late and mostly packed snack like things she was disappointed but told me it was okay because she could buy some food at her job she did not get angry and on the other hand told me she was glad i brought her lunch. This happens quite a lot where she will get very angry over certain things and months later not give a single thought to them when they happen again and then a few months later get angry over the same things again i just need some input and this is long but please help i apologize for the length and the lack of punctuation
It sounds like she’s has a lot of trouble holding back and not taking her frustration out on you. But the “if you cared about met” thing reminds me of what I talk about in this video on toxic relationships ua-cam.com/video/XxtSVM1c_HU/v-deo.html
Sounds like my relationship with my mother.
You said months or weeks so it sounds more like bipolar. As someone with BPD and from what I read about our emotions can be like 10 different moods in one day
@@Soneelicious lol 😂 sounds like me
I've been the similar way to my daughter. It can cause damage to our relationship but now that I realize I have bpd I plan on taking dialectical therapy or reading about the exercises to learn how to manage intense mood shifts, which for me shift several times a day most days. I have always tried to be self reflective, though, and apologize and try to explain and take the responsibility for my emotions. Its still damaging to her though. Life has so many challenges and its tough to accept the way our loved ones act...when its toxic, and it is sooo jarring., so disruptive to a persons sense of self, when they suddenly get told they don't care about their loved one,that ot too, many time leads to them getting bpd too. The going against the usual harmony of the relationship, so suddenly, so unexpectedly, it what my mom did to me and her dad did to her. I never new what i did wrong,, i never new when she would be mad or happy.. I think each generation we've gotten better though ... dang... our family is not close because it caused so much damage. And my father's alcoholism and seeing him self destruction and he not really being there anymore for us, as a kid , really hurt too.
Dr marks your magic!!! Don't remember self harming in a decade but had a weak moment today. After counting the 38 burns I'm still left with today from last incident I wasnt sure way outta trap today until you popped in my head and I decided no actions till 1 of your vids on bpd. You helped me calm down and brought my mind from darkness back to baseline. Thank you Dr. I really can't explain how helpful you and a few others have been.
How to distinguish what your "gut" is telling you from the disorder? Most times in the past that my gut has told nssome people were trying to harm me in some manner I ended up being right.
Exactly! I have the same problem. I need to regulate my emotions better but I also need to trust my intuition. It’s very confusing.
Same thing happens to me, it very hard to draw the line.
Whenever this happens to me I’ll try to figure out what exactly it is that’s bothering me about the person and it helps me deal with the strong distrust of myself and others. It helps to make a list (whether you need to write it down or in your head) of qualities about the person or actions of them, it kind of helps me sort out if it’s just BPD talking or my true/gut feelings. It’s good to kind of step aside for a minute and collect your thoughts alone since people can get so draining and distracting from your true personal feelings/thoughts
Yes, same here. „Checking the Facts“ can be really hard when you’ve been manipulated in the past that you’re always „overreacting“
I used to think its my gut but i usually end up being wrong and realize im being paranoid smh 🤦♂️
Thank you for your informative videos. When I was 17, my psychiatrist said that he wanted to diagnose me with BPD, however he couldn't until I was 18. Back then, I definitely had 8/9 characteristics (including regular self-harming and a suicide attempt). Instead I was diagnosed with depression. At 18 however, I was discharged from CAHMS and then officially didn't have any mental health issues anymore, which wasn't quite accurate and it took me a long time to improve.
Thankfully, I am much better now; I no longer self-harm and I have no suicidal ideation. I do, however, still have an intense fear of abandonment, no self-identity (I've been super religious, an atheist, agnostic, my hobbies are generally whatever my partner is interested in at the time and my career aspirations are also partner-based.), and I have mood swings. The tiniest thing can make my mood change, whether it's happy, sad, angry, anxious. The mood swings are also very short-lived, as it's easy to change the mood into another one. I would say, most of the time my mood is okay, but it is very easy to change it and my reactions are often out of proportion.
I used to do drugs but I don't anymore. The only thing I do is drink alcohol when depressed, anxious or just generally feeling negative.
I don't have anger-issues on a regular basis, but sometimes when I get tipped over the edge, I do flip out, say things I really regret afterwards or drink a lot of alcohol, but this isn't a regular occurance. I guess when it means I hurt someone else though, even infrequent is too often :(.
I wouldn't say that I am regularly impulsive, but I am every now and then. I recently spent 300€ on a used-piano, which was a bad decision, as I could've got a new one for 400€ and I'm over the phase of playing piano now anyway, so it was kind of a waste. An exception is maybe food; I compulsively and regularly buy food when I am at the train station, even when I'm not hungry and I know it's a waste of money. Other than that though, I'm not impusive often.
I know I (thankfully) don't fit the criteria of BPD anymore, but I know that I still have issues I need to work on. What would you recommend?
It does sound like you probably do still meet the criteria, you need to have 5 of the 9 symptoms.
I appreciate your informative videos. It is said, the hardest part of therapy is finding someone you can relate with. I can understand your information and how you relay it. Thank you.
Thank you for the advice. I just got diagnosed with bpd when for the past 20 years they kept telling me it was depression. They switched meds and I'm waiting for that to get into my system now. But I have noticed how fast I get anger now and forget the details like you said. I will have to start writing it down. Thank you so much for all the help you have given on this channel. Its helped myself and I hope a ton of other people as well.
Bless you!
BPD has been kicking my ass lately I love these tips.
My first impression was a very strong one,’ repeated the prince. ‘When they took me away from Russia, I remember I passed through many German towns and looked out of the windows, but did not trouble so much as to ask questions about them. This was after a long series of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid condition after such a series, and lost my memory almost entirely; and though I was not altogether without reason at such times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would continue for three or four days, and then I would recover myself again. I remember my melancholy was intolerable; I felt inclined to cry; I sat and wondered and wondered uncomfortably; the consciousness that everything was strange weighed terribly upon me; I could understand that it was all foreign and strange. I recollect I awoke from this state for the first time at Basle, one evening; the bray of an emotion aroused me, an emotion in the town market. I saw the emotion and was extremely pleased with it, and from that moment my head seemed to clear.’ ‘An emotion? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might fall in love with an emotion! It happened in mythological times,’ said Madame Epanchin, looking wrathfully at her daughters, who had begun to laugh. ‘Go on, prince.’ ‘Since that evening I have been specially fond of emotions. I began to ask questions about them, for I had never seen one before; and I at once came to the conclusion that this must be one of the most useful of animals-strong, willing, patient, cheap; and, thanks to this emotion, I began to like the whole country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away.’
Dr. Marks I remember starting to watch your videos a year. Congratulations on your channels success and growth.
Thanks so much Amanda. And it's been a lot of fun and I am still having fun with it. Thanks for sticking around.
These videos are so helpful. You are such an effective speaker!
You are just wonderful. Great explanations and I feel I can help my borderline boyfriend better now 🙏
Thank you so much for this video. So much information and helpful recommendations. I'm glad I found you!
Totally 💯. Accumulation of positive experiences is key in managing emotions
I recently stumbled upon your channel and i would like yo say THANK YOU. The videos you put out help me to better understand my diagnosis and how to deal/ live with them. I love the way you explain things in detail. Thank you for helping me.
You’re welcome Kiersten. I am glad you stumbled across me 😊
Thank you. My sister is so firey, the family abandons her regularly. Anything we say is wrong so we avoid the source/sister.
This explains things I really needed to know, thanks, thanks, thanks 👍
Thank you, Dr. Marks for this video.
I am grateful that i didn't suffer from any mental illness despite of the mind blowing and roller coaster ride happened to me for this past years. my emotions is stable and calm. i call it miracle drugs because i survived all the mind blowing events that normally people find stressful and suicidal. i didn't suffer from depression and any mental illness. i do believe it can be hard for people suffering from any type of mental illness. being ill is an excused for freedom of expression in a democratic country. you can expect that everything you say will not take against you. i have a great doctor who monitor my condition although i can't see anything alarming but i trust the process maybe this is the best for me. i do believe suffering from any type of mental illness can be hard for someone and medicines will help them manage the symptoms so they can live a more fulfilling and productive lives. i don't need any therapy or counselling for im not suffering from any form of mental illness. Thank God, i survived and now closer to recovery! I only want to share my experiences. Thank You Dr. Tracey Marks for making educational, informative and useful videos on mental illness. You are helping many people being mindful of symptoms and discussing important informations and seeking professional help early diagnosis can save lives of millions of people suffering from different types of mental illness.🤯🤕🤒😭
I’m happy that you’re feeling well and not in need of any treatment. Thanks for watching and being interested in mental health conditions.
Thank you for helping make this understandable.
Do some chakra cleanses. Helps in a jiffy when you’re in a bind 😎 👍
People are going to be confused but a mix-match of you (your videos) and Dr Jordan Peterson ('s videos) is making me so much good ♥ Thank you Dr Marks
You're more soft, he's rougher, I like to have both.... I guess it's the feeling of having parents lol ( i never had a family )
Super helpful! Thank you!
Thank You!!💙
My mind reading days have been over for a long time. Don't you hate it when somebody wants you to anticipate their thoughts and wants. With out reciprocating❗️
LOL! The mind reading problem can go both ways. Having someone intrusively try to read your mind or expecting you to read theirs and getting angry when you don't do it right.
Dr. Tracey Marks damned if I do damned if I don't so I won't ❗️ I can't afford the luxury of negative thinking.
My mother did this to me when I lived with her she wanted us to expect what she wants without her saying what she wanted out loud. These toxic people can destroy your mental health.
Thank you 😊
You did a really good job with this video. PS. I like your hair in this video.
Thanks Cassandra.!!
Thank you
Why Did His 2nd Response Come Off As A Narcissist..She Never Said She Was Him Mom,Etc..
I had never thought about writing down my thinking process when trying to calm myself down from my triggers. Hopefully I won't forget to do that 😅 also, my behavioral health specialist suggested I keep a journal of positive things in my life, so I think I'll start doing that ☺️
I was recently diagnosed with bpd. However my hospital stay was hit with a lot of trauma from the hospital. I’m now to scared to ask my therapists and doctors to change my medication. I have a lot of fear that they will admit me again and I will be restrained by them again. When I arrived at the hospital I was fairly drunk. After opening up to therapists there and then going on medication my mood swings stopped. I’m dealing with a lot of unforgiving things which I don’t trust to talk to my husband or doctors about. How do I regain trust of medical doctors once it’s broken? I’m having serious side effects from the medication and too afraid to call and check with a doctor. Some of the side effects (Seroquel) include the following: no period, headaches (back top of head,) clenching of teeth, drowsiness (affects my work,) not wanting to be touched, not being able to wake up, zoning in and out constantly and to tired to do anything. They currently have it on 400mg but they originally had me on 800mg. I feel even for 400 the meds are too strong. The meds half work but by a specific time of the day I feel things starting to ware off. I’m conflicted because I want to be able to talk to the doctor but I’m scared they will lock me up and throw away the keys
I just need some help. I’m destroying everything. I can only realize I’ve messed up once it’s started. I’ve “stepped back off the ledge” but all day I just feel like a pos. I know my bf is a better person than I treat him. Why am I acting like suck a b? I made a wrong assumption. Many actually. So I haven’t eaten or taken my methadone. As punishment, proof to myself that I really am sorry. Is sounds more messed up in written words. Well I just cried again and again like a sap. It’s out there now. && w/ all due respect, I already believe in God.
Rn, I need answers on my level of understanding. Something I can really grasp. I have this hidden diagnosis, sometimes that’s all their is.
Could both Disorders! Be hereditary?? I wish you this information was present when I was dealing with this. In a relationship with someone!! Great content like always.... Take care
Yes there is a genetic connection with both of them! Thanks Second Opinion!
There can also be a great chance that you May learn the wrong beliefs and patterns from your parents or the one Who mostly educated you as a Child or teenager and to not realise whithout appropiate therapy that There are wrong, you shouldnt have think so ( for example that you must be a piece of garbage if someone else didn't answer to your call or didn t follow your advice as a "pro" whatever is your proffesion)
I learned something. 🤔
I’m glad.😊
Hello! Could you possibly make an audio version of your books that i could buy and listen to?
Can you make a video about having BPD and bipolar? I have both and struggle navigating them both.
Thankyou so much . because it means a lot . i have a question where were these diseases a century ago ? why are the number of people suffering is increasing every year ? what is causing this ?
What do you think about the show "crazy ex-girlfriend" and how they show borderline personality?
I had heard of it before and felt like it fitted how i felt and the show honestly sealed the deal for me on that
(Note im still going to get a therapist i just really love psychology so of course id end up searching for the terms for how i feel as well)
How is it different to intrusive thoughts and OCD episodes
I know this is a long shot, however, can I schedule an appointment with you if I'm from Ontario I have no problem flying down for my appointment???? I really enjoy your videos and feel like you would be a great help. sucks that you're so far
Hi April. Maybe six months ago it wouldn’t have been as much of a longshot. I do video consultations that are not treatment. I can’t treat someone who is not in Georgia. But lately I’ve been very busy and it’s been very hard to find appointments on my schedule.
I did the exercise but I’m confused because I told my partner he hurt my feelings, and he gaslighted and yelled at me. I didn’t raise my voice, I just said that I thought what he said was rude. Am I supposed to just hide my feelings?
Who names these diagnoses? Borderline person? I don’t want to know.
This was very help. Could you do a video on bipolar disorder and major depression disorder. I feel like both are very similar and they get mixed up very often. It seem that bipolar depression fluctuates and major depression stays the same.
Thanks,
Angie
I have an upcoming video detailing how to recognize mania and hypomania. Bipolar disorder has episodes of depression but major depression does not have manic episodes in it that’s the key difference.
Can you please talk about the distinctions between Borderline Personality Disorder vs. PMDD.
I was diagnosed with PMDD in 2014. However, this past summer, I met with a Psychologist who completely disregarded my PMDD and gave me a Borderline Personality Disorder prognosis. I had & still have a lot of mixed feelings about this. Also, I'm ADHD, and have Anxiety & CPTSD. In addition, Depression runs in my family.
I have watched your video on imposter syndrome. Now I don't want to go to school or find a job (I am 20). But I still enjoy my interest. Am I just lazy? What if I have totally recovered? Now I just want to retire from the world and put myself into an asylum forever so that there will be someone looking after me 24/7. Is this thought normal?
Everyone has fantasies. It’s one thing to fantasize about doing nothing and being taken care of. But it’s another thing to act on unrealistic fantasies or try to make them come to fruition. We are all expected to transition into adulthood and take care of ourselves. So refusing to do anything to advance that purpose would be abnormal.
I have both ):
I’ve been diagnosed with Complex PTSD & Emotional unstable personality disorder & I wanted to know if Emotional unstable personality disorder is the same thing as BDP
Is that personality disorder different from BPD?
It’s the same
If we look at you and relate there's obviously something wrong
And that's ok because I'm here for you
If you need to talk about it I'm here xxx
I was told by my doctor today that I have complex personality disorder. Thinking I could just go home and look up the definition, I didn't ask for further details. Unfortunately, this term doesn't seem to exist. What does complex personality disorder mean?
We used to call it mixed personality disorder when you had aspects of different personalities. Without looking it up, I think the official term is unspecified personality disorder. It simply means you don’t meet criteria for one specific disorder because you may have features of multiple disorders. That’s not uncommon either. The personalities are grouped by clusters and the personality disorders within the clusters share similar features. I did a video on personality disorders where I briefly talk about clusters. ua-cam.com/video/BuK9YT-NJzk/v-deo.html
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you.
Can someone help me. I keep going into these ruts where I hate specific things about my personality. Right now I hate my pretentiousness and bossiness. If someone can tell me something I can do to fix these things/ manage them or somehow become content with them/ get out of these episodes, that would be very helpful. This would mean the world to me.
You could search for a therapist in your area using psychology today website. Alternatively a lower-cost option is Better Help. They have real therapists but the difference is you can interface with them online. You can communicate via messages, phone or video. If you choose the messaging only option the cost is less and you can get a response every day. The therapists can also set goals, send you worksheets and give you personalized help. If you use this link you will get a 10% discount. betterhelp.com/drmarks
hi doctor, i have a major depressive disorder i am taking zoloft for 1 month and i still kinda sad and depressed what i should do! thanks
The max dose of Zoloft is 200 mg. If you are on the max then talk with your doctor about an ad on agent. There are lots of options, too many to list in this comment. also your doctor should check your thyroid level to make sure that’s not affecting your mood as well.
Zoloft is the worst one man. Do some research.
You cant manage your emotions, you can only feel them. I prefer managing the situation instead.some people feel more than others
I guess we'll have to disagree on the issue of managing emotions.
I manage my emotions all the time.
Who's the hunk? =-)
My husband. Thank you he’ll like hearing that. 😊
@@DrTraceyMarks Wow! Lucky you, Dr.! :-P
@@cobolsaurus no...lucky him
Mam which is the book available to measure iq at home...plz tell🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔.
The books I recommended are in the description of the video.
Not to be too funny but that scenario you displayed seemed like usual male female relationship interaction that ends up in an argument for no reason. There are so many sketch comedy videos depicting this on UA-cam
That wasn't intended to be comedy LOL! But I guess the dynamics is comical when you step back and look at it.
if I am honest, this makes me feel like a bad person. I feel I am the empirical of my suffering, I already know that. But if your realising your behaviour with others (changed it), but your still left with these crazy emotions. how do you learn to live with it? I feel these techniques are more for protecting the other people around us you know? I am aware of how wrong my behaviour is seomtimes, my reactions to situations and how my emotional dysregulation plays a huge part in majority of where I go in my moods. I am better at communicating with others for that and its make me alot aware of why I know Im not normal in a sense of regulating and my thoughts. But how do you learn to live with it? Sorry for my depthful question, but if I am honest this is something I am struggling with in myself at the moment. Trying to look for ways to accept it
from my own experience dealing with how different I seem to be from other people, I have come to accept that lots of people are "different" and not all in the same way, which is actually a good thing since we all bring different strengths and weaknesses that if properly understood makes things better for the rest of society. Lots of people have said that they think I have depression, but never anyone who was a professional mental health practitioner. I was diagnosed with BPD once when I went for my SSD psychological assessment, but never received treatment for that specifically (yet) so take my viewpoint with a grain of salt or whatever.
I look at these types of "techniques" (which I have sort of developed through other counseling and self-help over the last 45 or so years since I was first "flagged" in middle school) as ways to protect myself as well as other people. The narcissist in me is very self-protective. It is not in my best interest to fly off the handle, especially to my family and friends, and perhaps alienate an ally. Basically, I try to assume that people don't mean to be rude or hateful or selfish and I know I have a hard time communicating my needs (since it is imperative to me that my needs are always met, mostly) so I try to take a step back and give myself time to "adjust" - not always successfully. Sometimes I just have to walk away. As I said, I haven't really addressed this too much with professionals who understand this more than I do.
Your comment touched my heart though and I wanted to affirm that you are not necessarily a bad person, you may just be someone who has to try harder to navigate interpersonal relationships than other people do and that is ok. You might have to share your struggle with a few people you really trust (if you feel you have someone) to give you feedback when you do better or worse. hopefully, you will see this, and maybe it will help, I was ridiculously angry and hard to get along with when I was in my teens and 20's, but have learned a lot in the last few decades that help me to deal less forcefully with most of the people in my world. Not perfectly, but way more effectively. I find that time and space are very effective. Anyway, Idk if you still feel this way or if my comment helps, but I put it out there just in case it does.
Not sure if you are going to read this since it's been a long time since you posted, but I thought I'd answer anyway (maybe someone else will find it helpful too, who knows). I have BPD, and struggled a lot with this in previous relationships. But with my current boyfriend, I chose to be open with him from the start and taught him about the diagnosis, making sure to explain to him how it works. We have continued with this tactic throughout the relationship, and it really has helped a lot. I'm talking open to the point where whenever I feel rejected, I say it. Not in a way that would make him feel accused of anything, but (if we are using the example from the video) more along the lines of "hey, BPD acting up. I just got scared that you need to get out of the house because you are bored of me from staying in with me the whole weekend. Is that the case?" That would let him reassure me that my assumption was false, and we avoid both me spiraling and also any fighting because of misunderstandings between us. Of course, recognising these things and putting them into words takes some practice, but it's really worth it. We've been together for 6 years now, and I really think that our super-open-communication is what's making that possible. I also try to do this with my closest friends. Hope this helps
@@siljehelberg94 This has helped me as well! There are many difficult moments, but it's working. Self awareness, understandong and taking responsibility is the key (from both sides!)
@@siljehelberg94 That is curious. My girlfriend(ex?) has signs of BPD (and I have my "issues") and she is the one that gets bored with me.
With: “BPD are afraid of abandonment so she perceived him as being bored with her at home, that he’d rather go to the gym than cuddle” I resonated with thinking one thing and then at that moment when your partner says something it feels in response to your thoughts and you have a reaction based on if it actually was a response to your thoughts/unspoken desire. But the paranoia of abandonment that causes thoughts like: “he’s bored at home with me” I can see more clearly as “negative talk” so they don’t seem as detrimental as the “reacting to false/imagined reaponses.”
I just wanted to say thank you.
This is the first psychology channel I've been recommended that doesn't demonzie us folks with borderline, and understands that we're people too.
I've subscribed, and will certainly be following some of the advice laid out here.
Thank you again doctor, I was afraid the whole of the internet hated us after seeing some of the downright venomous opinions held by other psychology channels, but now I realize things are rarely as bad as they seem.
I feel like I see alot of people using "BPD" like it's short for Bi-Polar Disorder instead of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Situation: I ask my best friend of 10 years at least once a week if she wants to hang out. We're both "busy" people, meaning we both have full time jobs, we both have different relationships to maintain, and we both are on opposite schedules. We have one day a week that lines up perfectly for me being able to see her. She's my person, my favorite person in the world. So like I said, I ask her once a week to hang out, and it seems like the past few months, every time I ask her to hang out, she's got a reason why she can't. I try my best to really understand that and respect that, but there's one catch. I see her out with her boyfriend all the time. I see her doing things with him and not me, and obviously I have to respect the fact that she's got a relationship that she loves being in, she's happy and I'm happy for her. All I've asked is for a few hours of her time a week, whereas he'll sometime get days or weeks of her time. This last week was really the breaking point for me when I started to piece together that maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I tell myself that she's replaced me, she's found someone that's gonna keep up with her on different levels and that I'm just no longer needed. If she's not my friend I'll be completely lost. I messaged her tonight, and instead of telling her all of the things I'm thinking and writing her, I told her, "I really miss hanging out with you." I'm just hoping she replies...
I've done DBT therapy before, and it helped for a while, but the person I was going to was only seeing patients under 18 years of age, so I had to stop seeing them when I turned 18. Since then, I haven't found anyone that uses DBT as their method of therapy and I really need it. I appreciate these videos, even if they're short. Thank you.
Hi there 😊 how are things with you and your friend today?
@@LeahmoonbeamflowerI was wondering the same. I wish people would just stop ghosting and get whatever it is off their chest. Doesn't sound like her friend wanted to keep in touch, but it's disrespectful not to address the issue.
@@keekeejenkins6162 Word. ( I agree).
@@keekeejenkins6162 her friend probably so caught up with her new partner. Maybe it's a codependent or even toxic relationship her friends in.
As always, informative video. Looking for to more videos on managing emotions and DBT 👍
You're welcome! I have one on distress tolerance (another DBT skill) next month. Stay tuned.
It's so hard to keep my emotions in tact when I'm going through a spell of my depression and anxiety.
Laura Gadille there are supplements that absolutely help. I talk about them on my channel
Laura Gadille Dr. Tracey talks about some too
Clinical Psych student here, this is brilliant content clearly explained. Thanks for taking the time to record this.
I recently started watching your videos and I love how you break down your explanations! Could you do a video covering suicidal ideation?
That’s a tricky topic to cover. I’ll see if I can come up with something.
@@DrTraceyMarks Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for even considering this topic!! I wrote this while going down a dive on the mental health side of UA-cam as my mind was dipping into a place. I've been dealing with major depression and suicidal ideation for a long time, and I liked how you tackled other topics! I wanted to show my family your videos so they could better understand what's happening with my own mental health, I wish you were my doctor!
I’ve been holding my symptoms since I’ve been a child and I’m almost 32 now
Great video! I especially like the question does the intensity of your emotion match the situation. I will be implementing this, thank you
Thanks a lot Mello Mentoring. 😊
I have bpd and depression and your example of a partner saying he's going to the gym made me laugh because I have responded many times that exact same way ..
Very useful video , thank you
Me Too!
Damn. This one was so helpful. Thank you.
You’re welcome
Hiya Doc! Great vid! I'm especially taken with the concept/treatment of focussing on the positive aspects of one's life (or life in general)...a truly sound treatment imo, as it's right there in the Bible! *Philippians 4:8*
Yes it is right there. Thanks for the reminder. 😊
Great video. I have a friend with BPD who’s battling depression after dealing with the death of her spouse.. I’m trying to be supportive while dealing with my own situation but I’ve learned to tread lightly. These videos have been a great source of information; it helps me to understand another’s perspective/ perception and to tailor mine.
Awesome S.D. I'm glad they are helpful on multiple levels 🙂
Did he die by suicide? I have been looking into the rates of suicide for spouses of cluster b disordered people. Of course, any type of death is going to feel unbearable to deal with, but when there is a suicide often family can suffer enormous guilt.
You're a good friend.
@@barb7124 this is such an awful comment to have come across. wish i'd never read it.
Great video and topic! This is one of my favorites, keep doing you and nothing but support!
Thanks so much Dr1ven! 🙂
Dr. Tracey Marks absolutely needed this video since it’s what I am working on personally.
Hey, I'm one of your subscribers @Dr1ven! Cool to see you on here. I think Dr. Marks is tops!
First Name Last Name me too I’m a huge fan been following her for awhile. I really enjoy a lot of her content.
That's very interesting. I'm not really sure what i suffer from, but iv'e been diagnosed lots of times with BPD and also with depressive disorder.
My mood can change drastically because of some minor event. Though most of the time i already feel on the edge, stressed out, irritated, very tired.
Then what happens is that i'm ok, functioning on a high level and then something makes me upset. I act badly and i realize it quite fast, and then i hate myself. I get to a really bad state of mind, i feel restless through out my body and my head. I get this bad memories running through my head which makes it worse. I feel like hurting my self (which i did many times in the past). The day afterwards i wake up with no energy in my body. I barely get out of bed, not doing anything, barely eat and drink, not taking showers, etc. And i still can get this feeling of anxiety snd restlesness. This state can last between a few hours to a week. Mostly is takes a day or two until i get my energy back, and act normal again. I'm not really sure what is this thing.
I also suffer from traumatic events. I heard about a connection between BPD and Complex PTSD.
I'm interested to know what your thoughts are. Thank you so much for your videos. Sorry for my English :)
H G there are supplements that can absolutely help, though it’s not a cure for sure.
H G I hope you feel well and your English is fine 😊
Is it possible to have ADHD with depression and BPD?
and if you have PTSD and ADHD and depression could you also have BPD. OR would that alone look like BPD? I am so confused by all of this. I can turn on a dime but I still cry many years later just talking about some of the abuse I have encountered.
Yes you can have all three.
Yes, I have all 3. It’s extremely frustrating.
Yes... I have both
ADHD in adults can present as BPD, anxiety, and depression.
The dbt guide was so helpful doc.....please make more!esp for people who don't have access to therapy,im gonna get started on those books because at least there's SOMETHING god bless u
I don't understand. How can a person "judge their situation" when the symptoms are present? To review a scenario is difficult.
@coda i just found out i have BPD, i lost so many people and destroyed so many relationships with people can u give me advice?
I’m trying to imagine how it would play out in my situations because I’m at 💯 at that point!!
Thank you for your work!
I've recently been diagnosed with BPD, though I don't really fit the BPD stereotype, so I was wondering if you could do a video on subtypes of BPD, such as quiet BPD. One other related topic I'd be really interested in is BPD vs CPTSD.
God I wish you were my therapist.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder I don't like you too much
@@michellemeadows3344 dear Michelle, why on earth did you write that lovely message? Usually I would respond with something equally wretched, but today I'm willing to practice some love instead of hate. Have a blessed day and I hope you find some peace with your affliction. ✌🏻
@DR. Tracey Marks... I simply wanted to thank you for investing your personal time in sharing this knowledge with us. I think a lot of us want to self diagnose ourselves. I personally have been able to identify specific traits of various diagnoses. The fact is for every trait I identify with, theres a bunch of others that simply do not fit. That really makes this self diagnosis tricky. At the end of the day you've helped with clarification on many of these things. Thank you for your dedication to help others work towards building a healthier self. Sincere Gratitude... Be Well.👍
You’re so welcome Clarence. I enjoy providing the education. I’m glad you can appreciate that process of diagnosis is not that simple. It’s more than looking at a list and identifying five of nine things on the list. but being able to understand your behavior and understand and illness once you have been given a diagnosis is invaluable.
I'm grateful I found your channel, your videos are helping me more than my therapist ever did in her 30 min session. thank you so much, please keep doing that, it's a great help. It's straight to the point and based on science not hypothetically motivating.
Hello Dr. Marks,
Could you address the Barnum effect in a future video? It may be a useful tool for individuals to understand themselves better. This is to avoid someone over pathologizing themselves. As it can be quite a scary process!
In addition, I have some issues with the use of labels such as depression, BPD, etc. Are these labels useful? They can be used negatively, rather than as actual clinical diagnoses. They seem to be more useful to psychiatrists rather than the other way round! What should we do about this?
Overall, i love your videos and they helped me a lot.
many thanks!
Hi Kuzay-i. I'm not familiar enough with Barnum effect to do a video about it. I know its a psychological concept but I don't use the term. As for labels - in medicine we give illnesses names. We need names for proper treatment. If you don't believe depression is an illness, then the term will seem like a useless label. We don't get as bothered by the "label" of hypertension. Hypertension is a similar illness because your blood pressure can get temporarily elevated even when you don't have the illness. I don't think we should be afraid of calling a mental illness an illness. But all that said - some people throw terms around too much in a flippant or hurtful way. "Bipolar" is one of those terms people will sling around.
Thanks for watching, I'm glad my videos and "labels" are still helpful. 🙂
@@DrTraceyMarksMarks thanks for clearing that up for me!
Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks for such informative information and placing it here on UA-cam.
Thank you about your tutor. I don't know if i have BPD or bipolar. My aunty prohibited from receiving help for me because she don't want another people know i am stress. I fell overwhelmed with the standard my family make. I was born with weak body and not clever girl ( my IQ it only 119) but my cousin IQ is 135. When i 21 year old, some people caste black magic to me, but my family tell me you must learn to heal yourself. Almost 3 year i learn healing myself, but even after 19 years i stillcan not really heal from my diase. 15 year ago i have tumor symptom, i hope it's not become cancer because i don't have money and someone to takecare if my condition worsened. So i ask : it really if stress is make someone more risk have cancer ?. i am sorry, i am not good in english, i am indonesian
A child shows emotional dysregulation early in childhood, followed by depression starting at early teens followed by anxiety related symptoms due to traumatizing experiences and long term elevated stress levels.
Emotional dysregulation and splitting appear consistently but to different degree in every family member for at least 3 generations from one of the parent’s side (6 people total).
How can you tell if it’s 1)ADHD, 2)autism spectrum or 3)BPD when subsequent cPTSD and depression symptoms occur on top of it.
Can you please make a video about ADHD, sugar and coffee??
Is it a connection for those 3? Why do some feel so addicted to sugar and coffee?
Céline Khilán and maybe how many people with ADHD who are like me and don’t get hyper/energy from caffeine 😭 it just makes me more calm (emotionally) and be able to focus for a bit but it makes my fingers jittery.
Both of these issues are "a thing" that people experience. I’ll have to look into the science behind it. thanks for the suggestions.
I feel my feelings are wrong. Only, I also understand, my feelings are not. Their warped thinking is. Yet trust, in the seeking, it will always blame your life and questions about life, in ppl like me who just ask? 🤷🏿♀️
Dr Marks,
Agreed DBT and CBT seems to be so common these days but DBT seems to be hard to find do you think that these college students would study something about DBT but they don’t all they get is the degree for cognitive behavioral therapy General counseling social work etc. I think DBT should be available the more people they it be a big help. As usual excellent video very nicely stated I always enjoy watching your videos Dr. Marks !
General repair
Thanks general repair. I always enjoy hearing from you. DBT is a separate training outside of the main stream therapy training. I was exposed to a brief course of it in my residency but if I really wanted to do it in practice, I would need to go through the certification training. that’s the part that not everyone does. But it’s available if someone wants to do the extra.
Hello dr Marks, thank you for your job and your efforts. I have a question about eating disorders: I've been suffering from bulimia in the past 4 years, I'm on Fluoxetine and it's working wonders but sometimes I still get back on the binging-purging routine. Any advice on how to deal with this instability? I'd like to get stronger and avoid turning to food anytime I feel down. Thank you so much,
Chiara
I'm glad the fluoxetine is helping you. Take a look at a video I did on binge eating disorder. ua-cam.com/video/vn00gEB0T4o/v-deo.html
I am a honorably discharged veteran. I have been diagnosed with BPD, Major Depression and PTSD. The VA has harmed and failed me.
Can anyone offer legal and medical suggestions? I don't want to die. 😥
Well if you never get angry one bit i am happy for you i hope iam not speaking to a robot 😭 nott because I someone might surprise you with their honesty make them stupid or same thing wrong with them well for example a college teacher once told me because I she is al way feel strong in her believes and opinions she was call insane she was honest to a fault make people uncomfortable so they responded rude or inappropriate so listen 👂 and other stories and facts before judging 🤔🤔🤔🤔
can a person have avoidant and paranoid and borderline personality disorder all together ?? im a disabled person until dead with schizo-affective , acute depresion acute anxity adjustment disorder , parkinsons , im only 30 ive been to psychiatric clincs months at a time , fully broken but still aware enough and smart to be in an open clinic ( more easy and let you go on walks and go buy an ice cream ) ive watched the videos about anxity depression and 3 personality disorder video avoident paranoid and bordeline , everything you say is what i have , im tired, and my friend saved me 2 times
Hi Dr Marks, I’m currently in a mental health hospital are having the biggest mental breakdown I have had. Over the years I have had a few breaks most….all have ended with me wanting to take my own life. Again I find myself in hospital because of this. I have been on site for over a month with not outside connection to the outside world. But more importantly I have not had much exposure to the psychiatric help I need. They had deem that I have a dissociative identity disorder, with MDD, BPD they have questioned if I have DID. Can you please explain what DID is and what makes them thing I have it. I’m very worried. Looking for to the video
Is it possible to have two different personality disorders from two different clusters (B and C)? One (Avoidant Personality) maybe from childhood, and the other (Borderline) manifested from substance abuse in adolescent years?
EUTHANASIA if you loose face and fail. It hurts to be around people you love and failed.
I am tired of being bpd ... DT helps too little, the wrong assunptions of your love ones are heartbreaking until when my mind will keep hurting me? Cause I know my love ones do not hurt me .. I am hurting myself
This doctor be talking the truth.... That's how I be thinking .... I fear abandonment....
Hi, excellent video!! Thanks for posting. I would like to ask you, if possible of you could explain the differences between BPD and Schizophrenia, and if a person could have both at the same time. Thank you.
hi somewhere in the middle. Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder that is not related to BPD. BPD is a personality disorder that you can have along with schizophrenia.
Why don’t you watch this video I did on schizophrenia and see if that helps you understand it better and how it is different from BPD. ua-cam.com/video/QIYW9JjZ-Os/v-deo.html
How do you stop calling out a therapist who makes an assumption about you and then calls you borderline. I'm just stating facts of what happened between me and the therapist and they get defensive.
@04:32 I physically felt hurt and abandoned here.. and I'm not even into dudes! Is that a clue?
I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a decade ago. Now that I've watched some of your videos and understand what BPD is I'm shocked and a little angry a professional didn't figure it out before me. I was put on so many different drugs as a teen and young adult and none of them were to treat the issue I actually have. Just the nature of my mood swings alone should have been a clue that it wasn't bipolar. I stopped getting professional treatment years ago because they were making things worse. Sometimes I think about trying again but I'm just so disillusioned with the whole process and afraid of the negative side effects of the drugs. I cared when I gained 40 pounds on seroquel but my doctor didn't. One tried to make me stop taking birth control so I could go on the drug she wanted. I hated lithium. Nobody cared how I felt as long as I was less outwardly reactive. I'm still not over it and I'm so tired.
I appreciate you for giving me some knowledge and tools to start dealing with this on my own.
So I know this video was from 2 years ago so I may not get an answer to this, but I got confused on something that was said. She mentioned to write down the facts of the details because my mind would not want to remember the facts. So is she saying that I have to write down the facts and details at the time the person says something that I might misinterpreted or AFTER the misinterpretation happened and I’m being corrected on it?