During University I developed an anxiety problem. Took medication for it which helped a little bit (mostly dealing with the physical pain of anxiety). Eventually my anxiety (which was caused by past mistakes) eventually turned into anxiety of having anxiety, aka a mindfuck and lead to developing depression. In the end what really helped me was accepting the mistakes that I made and accepting the more mistakes will happen. There will always be suffering. Took me a while to realise that, including bunking of my masters to go backpack around Australia where I made plenty more mistakes. Three years later I’m still backpacking my way around the world, which during a global pandemic is especially difficult. Making mistakes all the way along.
Sounds very similar to my own experience. I can agree that a big piece of the puzzle for me was forgiving myself for past mistakes, and mistakes yet to come. Also helpful was finding something I loved to do that was in line with my values. I wanted what I found so much that it caused me anxiety, reinitializing the anxiety spiral you mentioned. What kept me from spiraling down was camaraderie with others that held similar goals, and forgiveness for my own mistakes I might make along the way. Good luck to all out there experiencing similar. Don't be afraid to ask someone to be a mentor!
Love, understanding and acceptance. These are the keys to happiness. A Buddhist teaching we practice in Taekwondo. Haven’t been practicing Taekwondo long. This was the first Buddhist teaching my Sabom taught to me after meditation and a short story about the bluebird of happiness. I’m not Buddhist by the way but there is much one can learn from their teachings.
Yes, the diseases of the poor can often be overcome with good food, access to the means of hygiene, and rest. The diseases of the rich must often be overcome with hunger, dirt, and exhaustion.
Over time you may learn to cope with the anxiety you have. You may learn that comfort is over rated and does very little to make you a better person. You will absolutely fail, suffer and be in pain but in by no means give up. We all have an indomitable spirit that can help guide us when every bit of us seems defeated.
Lately I've been meditating on my own mortality as is talked about by stoic philosophers. It leaves me realizing I shouldn't fear life. I should fear not living a life I'm proud of. Seems to help me.
Mortality would depend on metaphysical positions beyond the Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece of course. I wouldn't buy that all non materialists fear life actually...All too easy as a metaphysical narrative to fall into....The Stoics placed emphasis on rationality without subsequent investigations of the limits of rationality of course,,,(Godel, self reference paradoxes, Russell & Whitehead sets of all sets not members of themselves etc) Someone up the page was saying 'comfort' was the logical part of the brain trying to minimize bad feelings which of course creates more bad feelings. One such self reference paradox.
I'm not afraid of anything. Let me elaborate... I had a rough childhood probably as rough as many people but deff, not your average childhood. Home abuse and school bullying thoughts of suicide from as early as 12 years old. As time went by I kind of suppressed my emotions and now I'm pretty much bored with life its grey and tasteless I take little satisfaction even in the activities I'm supposed to like. Family members close to me have died and I didn't even drop a tear. Don't let others take you from yourself. Don't let them shape your personality permanently. Fear helps you overcome obstacles treat your fear like 🔥. Use it as fuel to become great at what you do. Wen you lose fear you get sloppy comfortable fat and disorganized. Get it together and find something worth the fear of losing .
I'm an atheist but I've studied the Bible (personally and in college) and was raised a Catholic. It is refreshing that people use the Bible to teach compassion instead of using it to justify anger and hate, or outright use it as basis of lies, as many of the UA-cam religious videos lean toward the latter. And even more shocking when it came from Ramsey, one of the few people I did not think would talk about it. Even if you don't believe in God or the Bible, there's a lot of good things there, especially in the New Testament.
It's difficult to put into words, as it may differ from person to person, we all (those of us who suffer from it) have our own conclusive ideas of what anxiety is/feels like truly. I think of anxiety as almost like a simulation of fear. It feels so real, our minds make it feel so real because we mentally simulate a real future situation, moment, life event etc... that we are about to experience and try to decipher how it will play out in a wide variety of possibilities, and it's typically based on past personal experience of similar situations (particularly those that ended poorly) that shape the expectation of an outcome that may or may never actually take place. A sort of defence mechanism built for what are logical worst case scenarios, but twisted out of line. A notable saying I've read from stoicism claims "we are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.". In my personally experience, I've learned anxiety is ultimately just irrational fear accelerated by imagination (the "simulation"), but can be more complicated and nuanced in it's development because of the complex nature of humans in general. It develops I think as uniquely as we are from eachother; we have to remind ourselves not to judge someone's place in life due to anxiety (and depression) and learn to understand that we are all fighting personal battles no one else knows about. Asking "what are you afraid of?" can be a loaded question on it's own without actually seeing someone's life play out from birth to present day in order to find exactly what it is and why has it caused them to become the way they are; it's a very careful culmination of deeply personal experiences that bring about a person's anxiety/depression that it's hard for some folks (myself included) to even disclose confidently; sometimes we'll never know the full story. People who don't suffer from it and/or have just been mere witness to it or just flat out lack any knowledge of true anxiety tend to ask rudimentary outsider questions like that, and write it off as something to just "get over", or imply a simple solution, but it just isn't that simple. Even in writing this I'm not sure if I have it fully figured out, as it is an ongoing struggle for me and doesn't quite help to be surrounded by people who don't truly get it, but this is just my take on it. Overall, a complicated subject with lots to unpack.
I have had anxiety on and off. The best solution is the one nobody thinks of: radical acceptance of your anxiety and all other negative emotions. No avoidance, no trying to dampen it, just accept it no matter how bad it feels. Comfort is the logical part of the brain trying to minimize bad feelings, which then leads to more bad feelings due to avoiding things you like. My two cents.
Whatever works for folks....Further down the page is someone urging the philosophy of the Stoics who place emphasis on rationality. But perhaps the Greeks at the time didn't see their own limits on epistemology in the light of what you say here.
I really like this video: this is not the presentation of a completed speech, but a thought in motion... Memory allows us to anticipate, and anticipation is useful, but it also causes fears. We must take a train: will I make it to the station in time? Will the ATM work? Won’t I be on the wrong train? Isn’t the train going to derail? At the end of the day, most of the time, we take the train and arrive at the destination ; and that's it... ... Let us fear and enjoy life. 👊🙏👊
This was touching. Also encouraging for me and I turned 42 last weekend. I appreciate your videos, Ramsey Dewy. I could see the emotions in your face when you were talking about your mission trip. You have a heart for God which says much about your character. Precious little girl, as well. You have much to be thankful for, including your life experience and where it has brought you.
My anxiety issues years back were fixed with training. Years after new problems are getting solved with a harder training. It's important to work hard but not to wear yourself out at the same time.
Anxiety for me is like a chronic low-level of adrenaline. Might've been handy hundreds of years ago but not really applicable in modern society. The upside is, I can use that energy to... GET OUT THERE AND TRAIN!! On the deeper end though, from what I've studied, a lot of anxiety derives from an individuals childhood. A child's relationship with their parents will either foster security or insecurity. If we all had Ramsey as a father, I don't think any of us would be suffering anxiety. 🤠
Humbleness and gratitude are a good way to combat anxiety/depression, being grateful that you can attend college, that you are generally healthy etc. really puts in the perspective that you really can't lose much from those simple stuff, and when you realize that, you understand that the stronger you build that foundation the harder it is to lose it.
25 year ago, when I was a young man I used to be disrespected. Because I looked almost 10 years younger as I really was. But I learned to deal with it. I had nothing to gain, so I stayed always true to myself. I always speak up my mind and I hate all kind of opportunism. My biggest motivation was always defiance. I got some frinds but I live alone. The older I get the more I am concerned to die alone.
Thanks for the talk. I happen to also be 42, and I enjoy your rambling commentary. I also had a lot of anxiety when I was 19. All I can say now is choose your top two values, and choose a direction which supports those values. After that it's one foot in front of the other. If your steps are antithetical to your values, adjust. Find people that share your values, and good luck. If you're totally unsure, just do something uncomfortable that makes you happy. And whatever you do, don't listen to your parents. . . 👍
Anxiety is an emotion in life we all experience. It's how you live with it that matters. It either makes you so fearful you stay in what it comfortable or it's the good anxiety from change and the fear of not knowing. Either way your going to experience it in one form or another. Just dont let it be the stagnant anxiety. Going no where can be depressing and debilitating. Keep your chin up and never give up.
The biggest change from when I was 19 is not that I don't struggle anymore. Struggle won't leave you, and it will peak at the moment of your death. No, what's changed 12 years later is that now I'm beginning to embrace this reality haha. No longer trying to hide from it. There is no comfort without pain.
We try to be... Growing up, the nicest LDS folks I knew close to my age were mostly a year younger or a year older than me. Most of my friends my age were NOT LDS. Most of us "don't get it"... We are all free to believe what we want to believe. We are all free in so many, many ways. We should be able to know what is true regarding the subject of religion. But there are reasons why this is so hard. And some of these reasons are social in nature... Sometimes all we can do is try to put on a happy face and struggle through our tough, thankless lives... Its enough to be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. Its enough to just be able to have some degree of love and admiration for righteousness, and a sincere desire to do and be a better person. Because these qualities will ultimately lead to finding the truth, and finding true happiness in this life, and the life beyond this one...
When/ if that young lady goes to college, I hope she watches this video. Simple advice not only her father but herself, regardless of age, as well might go a long way to help any negative feelings she may have. Thank you both for the video!
What I fear the most is continuing to be mediocre in life. I also fear the pain from getting hit. I fear violence. This and comfort is what stopped me from pursuying combat sports. All these fears give me immense anxiety.
Makes me happy to hear you talk about Jesus. Even though I disagree with Mormonism, it's clear that it has had a positive influence on you and your family. God bless.
I also disagree with “Mormonism”. That’s a word that enemies of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made up in a vain effort to remove the name of my Lord and my God from my worship.
Not much I can say without having read the mail but comfort is an ambiguous term. There is a difference between being comfortable in a situation and having something to comfort you. In my experience, anxiety is not really a fear. It's more of a general unease or distress about the present or future. Many people would make you believe that it comes from overthinking but in my oppinion, the cause is not that you think too much but that you come to the "wrong" conclusions. The solution would be to push through those or to break them down to arrive at something more managable. Make sure you arrive at a different point you left off from every time and you'll slowly start inching your way towards finding your answers. That's not a pleasant journey so ways to comfort yourself do have an important place. Religion can serve as both the comfort and the answer but it's not for everybody. I for my part do steer clear of it.
I overcomed my anxiety problem just by holding on a little longer and found out what the truth of the matter is, everything is actually fine. I could've died in the age of 19 not knowing that i was fairly safe from the mistake i did in the past. But i'm still 20 years old now and we already having problems in the family right now. We were at the brink of separation but i managed to save it just yesterday. Sometimes things is just not as bad as it seems. But when it does bad, keeping a cool head helps.
I developed an anxiety issue after flipping my car head over heels 3 times, ejected out the back window at 70 mph. Luckily ...VERY luckily I came out with just a very bruised leg and concussion.. no broken bones or stiches. But I don't recall anything for the following 2 weeks, and nothing about the day of the accident. The anxiety development from this was weird, because the accident that mauled me when I was a kid, didn't do this to me. I turned my left foot backwards, nice spiral fracture and the Dr lost count at 300 stiches on my forehead. Didn't walk for a year
Ramsey, that little girl of yours quite the fire cracker.You’ve got your handful 😂😂😂. You two make a killer due. Good to see that you make her so happy.
Anxiety and an anxiety disorder are two very different things. If you have PTSD, GAD, etc., you can't just workout and wish it away. That only works for a time and then it all comes back with vengeance. This video is talking about "regular" anxiety that you might feel while walking through a violent neighborhood, waiting for the results of your science test, finding a new gym, being 19 and nothing knowing what you want to do with life, etc.. It's not talking about the kind of anxiety that comes from exposure to severe trauma. If you have trauma issues, you need to actually deal with those issues. If you're looking at a life change, however, understand that the anxiety, the trepidation, the outright fear that you're feeling is perfectly normal. At that point, a simple quote from Mike Tyson works: “I'm scared every time I go into the ring, but it's how you handle it. What you have to do is plant your feet, bite down on your mouthpiece and say, 'Let's go. '”
Ramsey! Thank you for another first rate video. The sensitivity you show to others is deeply felt. I am reminded of a passage from The Book of Mormon [Alma 7:23] ... be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated ... Pure respect.
I relate to this but I’m trying to fight fear and anxiety and not to be arrogant but I feel like my victory is only a matter of time, assuming that I use the power of CONSISTENCY!
First he should become aware of his own mortality. Then he should think about what he really wants to do with his life. We all live only once as ourselves in this world and we should use this time.
I'm in a similar situation, but I feel like my anxiety is due to the fear of the unknown and the feeling of just following a set path and not my own. (Also, seeing the world collapsing due to bad leadership and ideas.)
anxiety i just fear to the unnknown, but if u pay attention to every little thing that u say give u anxiety, really are things that dont happend yet, and my never do. so dont lose ur mind over things that still dont exist and may never do ! u can be afraid, but dont let ur mind lose free into the fear because then u just end up afraid for things that dont exist
Would be nice to see more outside vids with Ramsey! Highlight for me is the South America anecdote. I agree, life will change a lot. For the question-asker,... Keep doing the basics as best as you can, which is what I’m still learning. Sure, most are better than me in many ways at this, so I’m sure you can do it, even at 19 y.o.!
I think Ramsey expresses a concept that is highly underrated when he says now go train people need a purpose and random effort without clear goals is very unrewarding my
I had to tell myself a lot that it wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I wasn't really anxious but a bit timid as a kid. After I had verified that indeed most things won't kill me and that instead they would make me stronger, the pendulum swung the other way, and I took unnecessary risks and got a few fractures, each ulna once and a compression fracture in my left carpals. Pain is a great teacher, so I started assessing risks, but not so much with emotional fear or anxiety. But I wouldn't have learned how to gauge the risks if I hadn't taken them. Just remember that unless you do something tremendously and monumentally stupid, you will survive
Hey Ramsey, I've been thinking about something and would like to hear your thoughts. What do you think about the parasocial relationship between "influential" social media personalities (including UA-cam) and their audiences. i.e. the behaviour of a figure is a reflection of their audience and maybe vice versa? Like a feedback loop of sorts? Basically the virtual version of "people will look at you by how you carry yourself".
I suffer from anxiety problems. I’ve found myself worrying about having nothing to worry about. I’ve had several anxiety attacks. BJJ helps me manage my anxiety. I’m getting married soon and I have lots of work to do to get ready, so my tension levels get high whenever I’m not rolling. I’m looking at learning tai chi and meditation to help me relax my body and control my breathing.
Its actually cardio exercise that helped me. I was you 13 years ago. You SMASH the bike/heavy bag/ running/ rowing machine and it wears out the anxiety bigtime . You can sleep too.
Oh there are books to be written and countless lifetimes to be spent on the subjects presented in this video, though i will keep it brief. I enjoyed this one. Particularly the innocence and reactions from your little daughter with a large spirit. She asks all the right questions, almost as if creation itself speaks through her to remind us of the true nature of life. What if there was nobody to tell her what anxiety or fear is? How would her perception and interaction with them change? Would it affect the truth itself, and what those things really are? Are they just illusions created by our intelligence? Ah, i will stop now, there's no more room for contemplation here, this is youtube.
My a fear and anxious is posting on social media or stories and going back to check hours later no one engaged, liked or viewed only fear of my close buddies barely even 10. Dealing with it proper
My anxiety comes from multiple people I thought I could trust. Multiple forms of abuse from a child till a young adult. And now I'm socially inept. I become immediately quiet and distant...I no longer have interest in trying to find a soulmate because I keep attracting the worst of people. instead I just stay to my own family and only care for them. I feel at 38 it's too late for me to be able to change that.
Did you watch UA-cam videos on narcissistic personality disorder? It's a big problem in today's society. Watching that stuff helps many people. Try looking up The Narcissistic Resistance channel with Ollie Mathews.
@@rwdchannel2901 is what I'm doing narcissistic? I don't think so? Since I care for my own family. But that may not have been what you meant..thank you for.the information.
Thank you for sharing. I have found that to decrease my anxiety is to get out of my head and be of service to others (just as Jesus taught). Cute daughter, btw. She looks the same age as mine and acts a lot the same.
thank you ramsey for this Video! It answered a lot of questions i had...aslo solve some questions about you.It helped me alotto hear you have been a missionar( maybe volunteer??) Because I am on the oppositte side than Matthew....I have doubts wheter to involve myself in conflicts which arent mine,like trying to help people in difficult situations...trying to stay Informed-whats going on inthe world, how do people survive under immense pressure?..i thought: why not ask RAMSEY?(he is the only one i know in China)..as i heard you were in Argentina and made their problems your own,trying to help people out of their mysery,that gave me an answer.....thank you so much for this video,cause before i felt we were stuck,because i asked the wrong question...I will continue,playing basketball and giving some advice,trying to bring people together(foreigners and locals) and continue my Political Engagement.LG Roman from Austria
Great video, coach! I finally got the most backhanded compliment in BJJ you where talking about by the way. It's funny, I was strong and even stronger before, but lately I have been watching a lot of back take tutorials and try to take the back every sparring session. It's paying off sometimes, and now some people are calling me too big 😅 I saw your video about it before, but now it really clicked.
btw little things, this cone-shell your daughter found looks very similar to the kind that contains a seriously poisonous snail known to be poisonous enough to incapacitate and kill human beings.... better make sure it isn't when you find cone shells, you can distinguish the dangerous ones by their size and patterns.
Hey Ramsey, God I love you and your deep voice. I do have one question for you. Could you be "you" if you weren't Mormon? It baffled me when I first heard that, because I'm a Colorado guy whos seen lots of Mormons and none of them could stomach an MMA fight! I appreciate your positive and stoic attitude that you exude here on your channel, and it seems absolutely genuine. I'm asking this odd question because I myself happen to not have been raised with religion, never went to church, and I've wound up an atheist. The South Park episode about Mormonism, (not to mention their play) and just other general atheistic perspectives make more sense to me than any religion I've looked at. I understand the need to be a good person intrinsically, helping others has always made me happy, I love to make people laugh until their eyes tear up a little and they're out of breathe, being a nice person is the best. But I'm pessimistic about many aspects of life/the world itself. Though I could be happy about life, as I'm very fortunate to be alive at all, but I torment myself with negative thoughts. it pains me that I over think most things, but I have no idea how to stop. I've been suicidal since middle school, then it was because I hated my stepdad and living far away from my friends, so I shut down and got in with the other "I hate my parents" kids, and just sat in that mindset of hating everything. Capitalism is fucked (I'm American btw), 70% of pollution is caused by massive corporations getting bigger because we need more power because we have more & more people, over 7.8 billion now. Homelessness is a pandemic and WAS one before the ACTUAL pandemic hit (which didnt do the grim favor of culling the population.... yet) and that's ruined the economy/jobs and increased homelessness. There I go again, and sure that's only looking at the bad but that's a lot of bad... anyways how much of you is your devotion? Am I screwed if I can't find a god to pray to? (not that I'm looking, I'd need to see jesus and have video evidence so I know someone didnt slip me DTM, who knows what the Burning Bush was made of? Oui'd? No one knows.
The “burning bush” is a clerical translation error, confusing the word Hebrew words “seneh” (bush) with “Sinai” (the name of the mountain where Moses spoke to God). Moses spoke to God face to face as one man speaks to his friend (Exodus 33:11) Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. You can see a video of Jesus every time you watch a video featuring a human being. You can see Him every time you speak or interact with another person. “Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these your brethren, you have done it unto me.” - Jesus If you wait till you’re dead to see the Lord, that’s a terrible waste of a life. As for your question, if I didn’t have The Church of Jesus Christ in my life, what would I be? I don’t know. Even small changes to your life can have extreme impact over the long run, which says nothing of a radical change like my experiences with God.
Question for Q and A with the Coach: Hey Ramsey, I recently watched a lot more of your videos and you mentioned your severe digestive issues and your broken skull from your last fight. In which way/s does it impact you mentally and physically besides the big blur in your Field of Vision? And I wondered why it seems that more Asian fighters are southpaw. Is that really true and what’s the reason for it?
You and Eve simply existing is enough to hold the attention of little kids at that beach for at least a few seconds. They just have to stop and stare at the foreigners a little bit 😂 Ah! And at 15:21 we have a grown Chinese man looking at another grown man for the, obvious implied silly reason.
During University I developed an anxiety problem. Took medication for it which helped a little bit (mostly dealing with the physical pain of anxiety). Eventually my anxiety (which was caused by past mistakes) eventually turned into anxiety of having anxiety, aka a mindfuck and lead to developing depression.
In the end what really helped me was accepting the mistakes that I made and accepting the more mistakes will happen. There will always be suffering.
Took me a while to realise that, including bunking of my masters to go backpack around Australia where I made plenty more mistakes. Three years later I’m still backpacking my way around the world, which during a global pandemic is especially difficult. Making mistakes all the way along.
Which ever path(s) you choose I just hope things go well for you. ok. (genuine kindness & support from E. Sussex)
@Martin Yes. Pills merely suppress 'symptoms' ...not addressing causes.
Sounds very similar to my own experience. I can agree that a big piece of the puzzle for me was forgiving myself for past mistakes, and mistakes yet to come. Also helpful was finding something I loved to do that was in line with my values. I wanted what I found so much that it caused me anxiety, reinitializing the anxiety spiral you mentioned. What kept me from spiraling down was camaraderie with others that held similar goals, and forgiveness for my own mistakes I might make along the way. Good luck to all out there experiencing similar. Don't be afraid to ask someone to be a mentor!
Love, understanding and acceptance. These are the keys to happiness. A Buddhist teaching we practice in Taekwondo. Haven’t been practicing Taekwondo long. This was the first Buddhist teaching my Sabom taught to me after meditation and a short story about the bluebird of happiness. I’m not Buddhist by the way but there is much one can learn from their teachings.
A sustained abundance of comfort will inevitably lead to a disproportionally higher level of discomfort.
Yes, the diseases of the poor can often be overcome with good food, access to the means of hygiene, and rest. The diseases of the rich must often be overcome with hunger, dirt, and exhaustion.
DAMN THAT HITTED ME HARD
Yeah I feel that the more comfortable we get, the more our mind invents things to get scared of. That’s one reason why I train hard.
damn youre all very insightful and im saving these comments
Over time you may learn to cope with the anxiety you have. You may learn that comfort is over rated and does very little to make you a better person. You will absolutely fail, suffer and be in pain but in by no means give up. We all have an indomitable spirit that can help guide us when every bit of us seems defeated.
Now I can’t stop imagining M. Ramsey skateboarding down the stairs in College screaming “FREEDOM“.
You got a real wise guy for a daughter xD
Lately I've been meditating on my own mortality as is talked about by stoic philosophers. It leaves me realizing I shouldn't fear life. I should fear not living a life I'm proud of. Seems to help me.
Mortality would depend on metaphysical positions beyond the Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece of course. I wouldn't buy that all non materialists fear life actually...All too easy as a metaphysical narrative to fall into....The Stoics placed emphasis on rationality without subsequent investigations of the limits of rationality of course,,,(Godel, self reference paradoxes, Russell & Whitehead sets of all sets not members of themselves etc) Someone up the page was saying 'comfort' was the logical part of the brain trying to minimize bad feelings which of course creates more bad feelings. One such self reference paradox.
I'm not afraid of anything.
Let me elaborate...
I had a rough childhood probably as rough as many people but deff, not your average childhood.
Home abuse and school bullying thoughts of suicide from as early as 12 years old.
As time went by I kind of suppressed my emotions and now I'm pretty much bored with life its grey and tasteless I take little satisfaction even in the activities I'm supposed to like.
Family members close to me have died and I didn't even drop a tear.
Don't let others take you from yourself.
Don't let them shape your personality permanently.
Fear helps you overcome obstacles treat your fear like 🔥.
Use it as fuel to become great at what you do.
Wen you lose fear you get sloppy comfortable fat and disorganized.
Get it together and find something worth the fear of losing .
Needed to hear that actually. well said my friend.
How are you?
@@gaminghunt5837 "Are you talking to me"
@@richardgomez1151 yep
This is because you have unresolved trauma. Fix that and find your love for life, again.
I'm an atheist but I've studied the Bible (personally and in college) and was raised a Catholic. It is refreshing that people use the Bible to teach compassion instead of using it to justify anger and hate, or outright use it as basis of lies, as many of the UA-cam religious videos lean toward the latter. And even more shocking when it came from Ramsey, one of the few people I did not think would talk about it. Even if you don't believe in God or the Bible, there's a lot of good things there, especially in the New Testament.
Crab analogy makes sense, even if something can seem scary it can't actually hurt you
It's difficult to put into words, as it may differ from person to person, we all (those of us who suffer from it) have our own conclusive ideas of what anxiety is/feels like truly. I think of anxiety as almost like a simulation of fear. It feels so real, our minds make it feel so real because we mentally simulate a real future situation, moment, life event etc... that we are about to experience and try to decipher how it will play out in a wide variety of possibilities, and it's typically based on past personal experience of similar situations (particularly those that ended poorly) that shape the expectation of an outcome that may or may never actually take place. A sort of defence mechanism built for what are logical worst case scenarios, but twisted out of line.
A notable saying I've read from stoicism claims "we are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.". In my personally experience, I've learned anxiety is ultimately just irrational fear accelerated by imagination (the "simulation"), but can be more complicated and nuanced in it's development because of the complex nature of humans in general. It develops I think as uniquely as we are from eachother; we have to remind ourselves not to judge someone's place in life due to anxiety (and depression) and learn to understand that we are all fighting personal battles no one else knows about.
Asking "what are you afraid of?" can be a loaded question on it's own without actually seeing someone's life play out from birth to present day in order to find exactly what it is and why has it caused them to become the way they are; it's a very careful culmination of deeply personal experiences that bring about a person's anxiety/depression that it's hard for some folks (myself included) to even disclose confidently; sometimes we'll never know the full story. People who don't suffer from it and/or have just been mere witness to it or just flat out lack any knowledge of true anxiety tend to ask rudimentary outsider questions like that, and write it off as something to just "get over", or imply a simple solution, but it just isn't that simple. Even in writing this I'm not sure if I have it fully figured out, as it is an ongoing struggle for me and doesn't quite help to be surrounded by people who don't truly get it, but this is just my take on it. Overall, a complicated subject with lots to unpack.
I have had anxiety on and off. The best solution is the one nobody thinks of: radical acceptance of your anxiety and all other negative emotions. No avoidance, no trying to dampen it, just accept it no matter how bad it feels. Comfort is the logical part of the brain trying to minimize bad feelings, which then leads to more bad feelings due to avoiding things you like. My two cents.
Whatever works for folks....Further down the page is someone urging the philosophy of the Stoics who place emphasis on rationality. But perhaps the Greeks at the time didn't see their own limits on epistemology in the light of what you say here.
@Martin I guess thats one way of summarizing Stoic Philosophy .......lol
yes.
@@walterevans2118 Stoicism is still a good tool. Shrinks actually use parts of it all the time.
@@24tommyst It would depend on the individual I guess.....& how flexible the shrinks were in their dispensations of it .
Really important message here that needs to be shared more widely - you need to get abs so you can be tough
I really like this video: this is not the presentation of a completed speech, but a thought in motion...
Memory allows us to anticipate, and anticipation is useful, but it also causes fears. We must take a train: will I make it to the station in time? Will the ATM work? Won’t I be on the wrong train? Isn’t the train going to derail? At the end of the day, most of the time, we take the train and arrive at the destination ; and that's it...
... Let us fear and enjoy life.
👊🙏👊
This was touching. Also encouraging for me and I turned 42 last weekend. I appreciate your videos, Ramsey Dewy. I could see the emotions in your face when you were talking about your mission trip. You have a heart for God which says much about your character. Precious little girl, as well. You have much to be thankful for, including your life experience and where it has brought you.
This "what are you afraid of?" made some lives much better brooooo the simple opinion on some things from kids is fascinating bro
My anxiety issues years back were fixed with training. Years after new problems are getting solved with a harder training. It's important to work hard but not to wear yourself out at the same time.
Anxiety for me is like a chronic low-level of adrenaline. Might've been handy hundreds of years ago but not really applicable in modern society. The upside is, I can use that energy to... GET OUT THERE AND TRAIN!!
On the deeper end though, from what I've studied, a lot of anxiety derives from an individuals childhood. A child's relationship with their parents will either foster security or insecurity. If we all had Ramsey as a father, I don't think any of us would be suffering anxiety. 🤠
The stories from Argentina, have humbled me.
Just imagine living in Argentina and having Ramsey Dewey knocking on your door.
"dont fear death, fear the life unlived"
The only thing I fear is having regret
Me too, bc its too late...
Humbleness and gratitude are a good way to combat anxiety/depression, being grateful that you can attend college, that you are generally healthy etc. really puts in the perspective that you really can't lose much from those simple stuff, and when you realize that, you understand that the stronger you build that foundation the harder it is to lose it.
"There is nothing to fear, but fear, itself."
That used to be true. Then fear met Chuck Norris...
25 year ago, when I was a young man I used to be disrespected. Because I looked almost 10 years younger as I really was. But I learned to deal with it. I had nothing to gain, so I stayed always true to myself. I always speak up my mind and I hate all kind of opportunism. My biggest motivation was always defiance. I got some frinds but I live alone. The older I get the more I am concerned to die alone.
Thanks for the talk. I happen to also be 42, and I enjoy your rambling commentary. I also had a lot of anxiety when I was 19. All I can say now is choose your top two values, and choose a direction which supports those values. After that it's one foot in front of the other. If your steps are antithetical to your values, adjust. Find people that share your values, and good luck. If you're totally unsure, just do something uncomfortable that makes you happy. And whatever you do, don't listen to your parents. . . 👍
Ramsey has wisdom to share and indeed a wise man.
I can always look for some life advice from him.
Anxiety is an emotion in life we all experience. It's how you live with it that matters. It either makes you so fearful you stay in what it comfortable or it's the good anxiety from change and the fear of not knowing. Either way your going to experience it in one form or another. Just dont let it be the stagnant anxiety. Going no where can be depressing and debilitating. Keep your chin up and never give up.
I really like the Ramsey in nature Q&As
The biggest change from when I was 19 is not that I don't struggle anymore. Struggle won't leave you, and it will peak at the moment of your death. No, what's changed 12 years later is that now I'm beginning to embrace this reality haha. No longer trying to hide from it. There is no comfort without pain.
I'm not religious but Mormon's are some of the nicest people I ever met
We try to be...
Growing up, the nicest LDS folks I knew close to my age were mostly a year younger or a year older than me. Most of my friends my age were NOT LDS.
Most of us "don't get it"... We are all free to believe what we want to believe. We are all free in so many, many ways. We should be able to know what is true regarding the subject of religion. But there are reasons why this is so hard. And some of these reasons are social in nature...
Sometimes all we can do is try to put on a happy face and struggle through our tough, thankless lives... Its enough to be able to live with yourself at the end of the day. Its enough to just be able to have some degree of love and admiration for righteousness, and a sincere desire to do and be a better person. Because these qualities will ultimately lead to finding the truth, and finding true happiness in this life, and the life beyond this one...
You have an amazing daughter Sir. She has your wisdom.
When/ if that young lady goes to college, I hope she watches this video. Simple advice not only her father but herself, regardless of age, as well might go a long way to help any negative feelings she may have. Thank you both for the video!
“anxiety- whatre you afraid of”
horrible past experiences
What I fear the most is continuing to be mediocre in life. I also fear the pain from getting hit. I fear violence. This and comfort is what stopped me from pursuying combat sports. All these fears give me immense anxiety.
Thank you for the message Ramsey.
These videos like this are very calming, thank you!
Makes me happy to hear you talk about Jesus. Even though I disagree with Mormonism, it's clear that it has had a positive influence on you and your family. God bless.
I also disagree with “Mormonism”. That’s a word that enemies of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made up in a vain effort to remove the name of my Lord and my God from my worship.
@@RamseyDewey Hmm, alright, I didn't know that that term was considered pejorative.
Not much I can say without having read the mail but comfort is an ambiguous term. There is a difference between being comfortable in a situation and having something to comfort you. In my experience, anxiety is not really a fear. It's more of a general unease or distress about the present or future. Many people would make you believe that it comes from overthinking but in my oppinion, the cause is not that you think too much but that you come to the "wrong" conclusions. The solution would be to push through those or to break them down to arrive at something more managable. Make sure you arrive at a different point you left off from every time and you'll slowly start inching your way towards finding your answers. That's not a pleasant journey so ways to comfort yourself do have an important place. Religion can serve as both the comfort and the answer but it's not for everybody. I for my part do steer clear of it.
Ramsey you're a lucky man. You have an awesome daughter who obviously loves her dad
Don't even really watch MMA anymore but always watch your vids Ramsay , have a good one
I overcomed my anxiety problem just by holding on a little longer and found out what the truth of the matter is, everything is actually fine. I could've died in the age of 19 not knowing that i was fairly safe from the mistake i did in the past. But i'm still 20 years old now and we already having problems in the family right now. We were at the brink of separation but i managed to save it just yesterday.
Sometimes things is just not as bad as it seems. But when it does bad, keeping a cool head helps.
Ramsey!
Can you make a video about an optimal mma training schedule for a person with a full-time job who aspires to do some amateur matches?
I developed an anxiety issue after flipping my car head over heels 3 times, ejected out the back window at 70 mph. Luckily ...VERY luckily I came out with just a very bruised leg and concussion.. no broken bones or stiches.
But I don't recall anything for the following 2 weeks, and nothing about the day of the accident.
The anxiety development from this was weird, because the accident that mauled me when I was a kid, didn't do this to me. I turned my left foot backwards, nice spiral fracture and the Dr lost count at 300 stiches on my forehead. Didn't walk for a year
Ramsey, that little girl of yours quite the fire cracker.You’ve got your handful 😂😂😂. You two make a killer due. Good to see that you make her so happy.
Anxiety and an anxiety disorder are two very different things. If you have PTSD, GAD, etc., you can't just workout and wish it away. That only works for a time and then it all comes back with vengeance. This video is talking about "regular" anxiety that you might feel while walking through a violent neighborhood, waiting for the results of your science test, finding a new gym, being 19 and nothing knowing what you want to do with life, etc.. It's not talking about the kind of anxiety that comes from exposure to severe trauma. If you have trauma issues, you need to actually deal with those issues. If you're looking at a life change, however, understand that the anxiety, the trepidation, the outright fear that you're feeling is perfectly normal. At that point, a simple quote from Mike Tyson works: “I'm scared every time I go into the ring, but it's how you handle it. What you have to do is plant your feet, bite down on your mouthpiece and say, 'Let's go. '”
Ramsey your wise as f*** no contempt or sarcasm
From Argentina (the nice parts) all I have to say is... That's a beautiful ocean...
Que dura realidad vive nuestro pais. Desde las partes lindas, debemos recordar que nuestras vidas son fáciles en comparación a muchas otras.
Great vid, Ramsey. Very insightful reflections on your time and experiences. 👍
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 sending postive enegry!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Ramsey! Thank you for another first rate video. The sensitivity you show to others is deeply felt. I am reminded of a passage from The Book of Mormon [Alma 7:23] ... be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated ... Pure respect.
Excellent video. Your speech and your ideas are great. Congratulations and thank you, Ramsey! ( To your daughter , too)
I relate to this but I’m trying to fight fear and anxiety and not to be arrogant but I feel like my victory is only a matter of time, assuming that I use the power of CONSISTENCY!
First he should become aware of his own mortality. Then he should think about what he really wants to do with his life.
We all live only once as ourselves in this world and we should use this time.
Really needed to hear that
This is a wonderful video brother. Thank You Kindly.
you’re right, wise guy.
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oh sorry, i mean a very wise man, indeed
I needed this. Thank you
This is a good Ramsey Dewart-video!
Yes , Coach. Yes Indeed
I'm in a similar situation, but I feel like my anxiety is due to the fear of the unknown and the feeling of just following a set path and not my own. (Also, seeing the world collapsing due to bad leadership and ideas.)
So good to see good fathers.
anxiety i just fear to the unnknown, but if u pay attention to every little thing that u say give u anxiety, really are things that dont happend yet, and my never do. so dont lose ur mind over things that still dont exist and may never do ! u can be afraid, but dont let ur mind lose free into the fear because then u just end up afraid for things that dont exist
Would be nice to see more outside vids with Ramsey!
Highlight for me is the South America anecdote.
I agree, life will change a lot. For the question-asker,... Keep doing the basics as best as you can, which is what I’m still learning. Sure, most are better than me in many ways at this, so I’m sure you can do it, even at 19 y.o.!
Nice looking beach. Even with the overcast.
I think Ramsey expresses a concept that is highly underrated when he says now go train people need a purpose and random effort without clear goals is very unrewarding my
Absolutely nothing. Which is why my anxiety is so hard to deal with.
Greattings from Argentina. Much respect.
Great video coach, made me feel better.
I had to tell myself a lot that it wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I wasn't really anxious but a bit timid as a kid. After I had verified that indeed most things won't kill me and that instead they would make me stronger, the pendulum swung the other way, and I took unnecessary risks and got a few fractures, each ulna once and a compression fracture in my left carpals. Pain is a great teacher, so I started assessing risks, but not so much with emotional fear or anxiety. But I wouldn't have learned how to gauge the risks if I hadn't taken them. Just remember that unless you do something tremendously and monumentally stupid, you will survive
Hey Ramsey,
I've been thinking about something and would like to hear your thoughts. What do you think about the parasocial relationship between "influential" social media personalities (including UA-cam) and their audiences. i.e. the behaviour of a figure is a reflection of their audience and maybe vice versa? Like a feedback loop of sorts?
Basically the virtual version of "people will look at you by how you carry yourself".
I suffer from anxiety problems. I’ve found myself worrying about having nothing to worry about. I’ve had several anxiety attacks. BJJ helps me manage my anxiety. I’m getting married soon and I have lots of work to do to get ready, so my tension levels get high whenever I’m not rolling. I’m looking at learning tai chi and meditation to help me relax my body and control my breathing.
Its actually cardio exercise that helped me. I was you 13 years ago. You SMASH the bike/heavy bag/ running/ rowing machine and it wears out the anxiety bigtime . You can sleep too.
Oh there are books to be written and countless lifetimes to be spent on the subjects presented in this video, though i will keep it brief. I enjoyed this one.
Particularly the innocence and reactions from your little daughter with a large spirit. She asks all the right questions, almost as if creation itself speaks through her to remind us of the true nature of life. What if there was nobody to tell her what anxiety or fear is? How would her perception and interaction with them change? Would it affect the truth itself, and what those things really are? Are they just illusions created by our intelligence? Ah, i will stop now, there's no more room for contemplation here, this is youtube.
Thank you for this video. It is relevant to me as well. I hope your questioner finds his way.
Most problems, especially fear lies between your ears.
I'm afraid of everything and nothing and everything in between. Abstract and literal
As my older brother always says, “Whatever you are afraid of will happen to you.” So be prepared for everything… and nothing.
Encouraging message Ramsey, keep up the good vids bro 🤙
My a fear and anxious is posting on social media or stories and going back to check hours later no one engaged, liked or viewed only fear of my close buddies barely even 10. Dealing with it proper
No one watched this channel for the first 13 years that I made UA-cam videos.
What a wholesome talk with master dewey while we walk on the beach ^^
Im a buddhist...but even I think that if you looked back at that beach...there are only *one set of footprints*
This was a beautiful video
My anxiety comes from multiple people I thought I could trust. Multiple forms of abuse from a child till a young adult. And now I'm socially inept. I become immediately quiet and distant...I no longer have interest in trying to find a soulmate because I keep attracting the worst of people. instead I just stay to my own family and only care for them. I feel at 38 it's too late for me to be able to change that.
Did you watch UA-cam videos on narcissistic personality disorder? It's a big problem in today's society. Watching that stuff helps many people. Try looking up The Narcissistic Resistance channel with Ollie Mathews.
@@rwdchannel2901 is what I'm doing narcissistic? I don't think so? Since I care for my own family. But that may not have been what you meant..thank you for.the information.
Thank you for sharing. I have found that to decrease my anxiety is to get out of my head and be of service to others (just as Jesus taught). Cute daughter, btw. She looks the same age as mine and acts a lot the same.
Your daughter is a great philosopher in the making I see. Might be about time to hand the channel off to her.
She has her own channel.
@@RamseyDewey I didn’t realize. Thanks for the notice.
Wisdom doesn't come with time. It comes with experience, thought, and often regret. You can always do something :)
And all of those things take time.
Yes, they take time, but time alone won't do it. Effort is required :)
thank you ramsey for this Video! It answered a lot of questions i had...aslo solve some questions about you.It helped me alotto hear you have been a missionar( maybe volunteer??) Because I am on the oppositte side than Matthew....I have doubts wheter to involve myself in conflicts which arent mine,like trying to help people in difficult situations...trying to stay Informed-whats going on inthe world, how do people survive under immense pressure?..i thought: why not ask RAMSEY?(he is the only one i know in China)..as i heard you were in Argentina and made their problems your own,trying to help people out of their mysery,that gave me an answer.....thank you so much for this video,cause before i felt we were stuck,because i asked the wrong question...I will continue,playing basketball and giving some advice,trying to bring people together(foreigners and locals) and continue my Political Engagement.LG Roman from Austria
Grettings from Buenos Aires
Be glad of first night nerves
For fear gives courage wings
Great video, coach!
I finally got the most backhanded compliment in BJJ you where talking about by the way.
It's funny, I was strong and even stronger before, but lately I have been watching a lot of back take tutorials and try to take the back every sparring session.
It's paying off sometimes, and now some people are calling me too big 😅
I saw your video about it before, but now it really clicked.
Awesome!
I’m afraid of striking out in slowpitch softball
"working with a rocket scientist" not a good thing to say.
your little girl is impossibly adorable.
Nice backdrop for the video.
I’m past 70 years. Man I wish I had you as a friend when I was 18! Now body doesn’t work as well.🦉
Bald men I’m terrified of them
btw little things, this cone-shell your daughter found looks very similar to the kind that contains a seriously poisonous snail known to be poisonous enough to incapacitate and kill human beings.... better make sure it isn't when you find cone shells, you can distinguish the dangerous ones by their size and patterns.
Enjoy your holiday brother
Hey Ramsey, God I love you and your deep voice. I do have one question for you. Could you be "you" if you weren't Mormon? It baffled me when I first heard that, because I'm a Colorado guy whos seen lots of Mormons and none of them could stomach an MMA fight! I appreciate your positive and stoic attitude that you exude here on your channel, and it seems absolutely genuine.
I'm asking this odd question because I myself happen to not have been raised with religion, never went to church, and I've wound up an atheist. The South Park episode about Mormonism, (not to mention their play) and just other general atheistic perspectives make more sense to me than any religion I've looked at.
I understand the need to be a good person intrinsically, helping others has always made me happy, I love to make people laugh until their eyes tear up a little and they're out of breathe, being a nice person is the best. But I'm pessimistic about many aspects of life/the world itself. Though I could be happy about life, as I'm very fortunate to be alive at all, but I torment myself with negative thoughts.
it pains me that I over think most things, but I have no idea how to stop. I've been suicidal since middle school, then it was because I hated my stepdad and living far away from my friends, so I shut down and got in with the other "I hate my parents" kids, and just sat in that mindset of hating everything.
Capitalism is fucked (I'm American btw), 70% of pollution is caused by massive corporations getting bigger because we need more power because we have more & more people, over 7.8 billion now. Homelessness is a pandemic and WAS one before the ACTUAL pandemic hit (which didnt do the grim favor of culling the population.... yet) and that's ruined the economy/jobs and increased homelessness.
There I go again, and sure that's only looking at the bad but that's a lot of bad... anyways how much of you is your devotion? Am I screwed if I can't find a god to pray to? (not that I'm looking, I'd need to see jesus and have video evidence so I know someone didnt slip me DTM, who knows what the Burning Bush was made of? Oui'd? No one knows.
The “burning bush” is a clerical translation error, confusing the word Hebrew words “seneh” (bush) with “Sinai” (the name of the mountain where Moses spoke to God). Moses spoke to God face to face as one man speaks to his friend (Exodus 33:11)
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. You can see a video of Jesus every time you watch a video featuring a human being. You can see Him every time you speak or interact with another person. “Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these your brethren, you have done it unto me.” - Jesus
If you wait till you’re dead to see the Lord, that’s a terrible waste of a life.
As for your question, if I didn’t have The Church of Jesus Christ in my life, what would I be? I don’t know. Even small changes to your life can have extreme impact over the long run, which says nothing of a radical change like my experiences with God.
Amen bro
Question for Q and A with the Coach: Hey Ramsey, I recently watched a lot more of your videos and you mentioned your severe digestive issues and your broken skull from your last fight. In which way/s does it impact you mentally and physically besides the big blur in your Field of Vision?
And I wondered why it seems that more Asian fighters are southpaw. Is that really true and what’s the reason for it?
It’s not a blur, it’s a blind spot. Man, there’s a lot I could say about this. As far as Asian southpaws go? I’ve only met 3.
You and Eve simply existing is enough to hold the attention of little kids at that beach for at least a few seconds. They just have to stop and stare at the foreigners a little bit 😂 Ah! And at 15:21 we have a grown Chinese man looking at another grown man for the, obvious implied silly reason.