Re: Calculus

LYRICS:
Derivative the first the second and third
Describing the trials of producing gravel in far too many words
Optimize this and that
Hey, how much fabric do you think goes around this hat?
Ladders are always falling in related rates
But hey, if you’re lucky they might let you estimate
So really, Newton, thanks so much
Imagine where I’d be
if you’d never
Invented calculus
Sir Isaac Newton
My oh my have I got a bone
to pick with you
How I have tried to find
The words to articulate
The rage that courses through
My veins when to my dismay
I find I have to integrate
All I have found to say to you
Is that inventing calculus was pretty rude
Derivative the first the second and third
Describing the trials of producing gravel in far too many words
Optimize this and that
Hey, how much fabric do you think goes around this hat?
Ladders are always falling in related rates
But hey, if you’re lucky they might let you estimate
So really, Newton, thanks so much
Imagine where’d I be
if you’d never
Invented calculus
"probably happier
wouldn’t have nearly as many llama enclosures right beside rivers
But, you know
Pluses and minuses
And don't get me started on what you did to geometry!"
Eureka!
Archimedes said in the bath
Now that guy knew how to do math
He said
Volume? Just displace some water
No one asked and then Newton took it six steps farther
Plot two curves on a plane
First find g then integrate
That looks horrible!
Hope and pray
That you can use a calculator
If you can’t then that okay
Anti derive evaluate
I swear I learned what fractions were in the 3 third grade
"Although looking at my work I can see why that might be under contention"
Derivative the first the second and third
Describing the trials of producing gravel in far too many words
Optimize this and that
Hey, how much fabric do you think goes around this hat?
Ladders are always falling in related rates
But hey, if you’re lucky they might let you estimate
So really, Newton, thanks so much
Imagine where’d I be
if you’d never
Invented calculus
Justification!
You think I know what happening inside my calculations?
The integral of something equals a number minus another
I always confuse MVT and IVT with each other
Left endpoint…graph…increasing…right
Testing all local extrema keeps me up at night
Look, Newton, really, I don’t want fight
I just need to know
WHY
[INTELLECTUAL LIST OF THINGS CALCULUS IS USED FOR IN THE REAL WORD]
"Okay, but what does any of that have to do with me???"
Derivative the first the second and third
Describing the trials of producing gravel in far too many words
Optimize this and that
Hey, how much fabric do you think goes around this hat?
Ladders are always falling in related rates
But hey, if you’re lucky they might let you estimate
So really, Newton, thanks so much
Imagine where’d I be
if you’d never
Invented calculus
And I’m serious about that ladder thing
it's an epidemic!
Get it together, Newton
Respectfully,
Adia Colvin