@@timmy6890 sounds waaaaay more European. but if the europeans can gaslight us into thinking it's more American, we'll believe it because one stereotype is true and that is we are a stupid, gullible country.
I can't talk to people outside of Britain bc they will do something slightly annoying and I'll tell them to fuck off and they think I'm actually being rude, or my favourite "Oi dumbass" to get someones attention.
I propose Britain get an extra 171 for causing the phenomenon which is Indian swearing, where you take the most random assortment of British and American swearwords and combine them, for example "Bloody Bitch Bastard" or "Fuck Wanker Asshole". Not only do they convey anger only possible in a Delhi traffic jam, but also adds confusion damage for making no sense.
One underrated facet of British swearing is the ability to call someone an inanimate object of your choice and everyone in earshot understanding implicitly that you're calling them an idiot/wanker/cunt based on the context. "You fuckin' spanner", etc. Words such as 'absolute', 'total' and 'utter' can also be included in the sentence for added emphasis.
one thing to consider is the effectiveness of different swear words in each nation, some words and phrases may be offensive in the USA but not in the UK, for example "weight loss", "Vietnam" and "metre", while some words and phrases are offensive in the UK and not USA such as "toothbrush", "sun" and "TV licence"
He says the US is better at war. It is now, but the British have many centuries of war under their belt. If you think English women are less attractive - walk around West London on a sunny day to see the offspring of globally-sourced trophy wives wandering from the gym to the juice bar or the park.
In Australia we use the c-word so often I'm pretty sure people are desensitised to it. It's a noun, an adjective, a verb, a term of endearment, an exclamation, a swear, very versatile word.
in britain too. always thought it was funny to hear someone say 'you stupid cunt' and mean it as an endearment. maybe like in US you can call someone a shit, little bastard, a dick, and it can mean FU to hell, or a term of affection.
Honestly a lot of those examples of British swear words are just words. A toddler wouldn’t even be told off for using “crikey” or “rubbish” but we’d side-eye them for not replacing those terms with “Christ on a bike” and “clusterfuck” respectively.
4:01 The shot of the really corporate looking art people just saying a bunch of swear words is just hilarious to me! Just ignore the lady on the far right of the frame
@@Toby-ze6xc Sure, I saw that. Still doesn't mean he can't do it, or that it's hard. Maybe it's just tedious. I'm good at math, but I still hated my last couple math classes cause it was boring and tedious.
Right? Because that is the original Office. Just like British English being the original and us making it better. Holy shit! Al and his deeply layered jokes. This bloody wanker is going places.
The thing about 'wanker' is that it's more used by the comprehensive school type teenagers to take the piss out of normal people so it has an extra strength that can't be explained easily
@@Nathan0330 please forgive me, I shall not sin again. I can however think of several other words beginning with f to describe them, if you know what i mean 😏... The least worst of which is the classic nickname, the bloody Frogs
No way he ranked us down for wanker. Honestly my favourite swear word of all time, along with twat (which is much better pronounced with the proper a sound, rather than "twot" like he says it. Also you missed out prick and dickhead for the UK - top tier swear words Ones that aren't swear words but are still good - cretin, pillock and plonker (about as offensive as idiot)
Thats why americans dont appreciate the dedication and time it took to perfect these, most of them cant do a remotely competent accent to save their life and most of the time it sounds mad cringe. Their accent is easy as hell to do tho
“To a British person, BBC is just a news Network… to me it’s the reason I can’t shit sitting down anymore.” Im not seeing enough people talking about this golden line.
nah if it wasnt for for my ancester and the over countrys ancestors the americans wouldnt have nothing to eat considering all you do is make it a bigger portion
There is a nuance and an art to swearing that is perhaps wasted on an American audience. Anyone can spew a string of the worst swear words you know but you really feel it when someone expertly deploys an otherwise innane phrase that gets to the core and truly deeply insults the other person. It is like losing a fight to someone who is wielding a wet fish instead of an actual weapon.
Americans pronounce "twat" as "twot", which doesn't sound as good to my ears as the British version that rhymes with "cat". But apart from that the Yanks have some blummin' good swearies.
“My objective point system is subjective for a reason” - Comical genius. This only Took me ten seconds to replay this part and make sure I heard it right, absolutely brilliant.
I work for an Australian company, and we have in-house software called Crikey. I had no idea it was a swear word. 😂 Someone came from AU to train us here in the US, and there was someone there to do cultural sensitivity. It was hilarious. The trainer was constantly surprised by which words aren't used in a business setting here. It was like every few sentences. 😂😂 Apparently they use a lot of swear words there, and no one thinks anything of it.
As a Brit, I'm afraid you're not refined enough to use our swear words effectively, so I can understand why you might struggle to understand the finer points. It's ok, we're not angry. We're not going to burn your white house down for the third time. Although frankly you'd probably thank us this time.
Ngl as a brit I have never heard anybody use bugger off by itself, I've heard fucking bugger off or fucking hell bugger off, but never bugger off, movie must've been written by an American who thought that's what Brits say, you wrote that movie, DIDNT YOU ALEX.
love how he ended the video right after saying "the office". Which Office is better (UK/US) is a subject of heated interweb debate between brits and yanks
I'm 99% sure that Al only made this video for the 1776 punchline
That was so fucking clever though omg
that "N" at 4:01
Lol so true
Probably
Or the bbc one...
“You just assume your way of life is normal and superior?”
“Yes, I do… I’m American that’s kind of our thing”🤣
XD
Yeah it really is
@@timmy6890 sounds waaaaay more European. but if the europeans can gaslight us into thinking it's more American, we'll believe it because one stereotype is true and that is we are a stupid, gullible country.
Healthcare 😅
The best part of it in Americans is that they are not wrong.
the way that UK people yell "f*ck off" to each other so casually has always made my day
FOCK OFF, KANT
- British man disliking german philosophy
I can't talk to people outside of Britain bc they will do something slightly annoying and I'll tell them to fuck off and they think I'm actually being rude, or my favourite "Oi dumbass" to get someones attention.
@@sychro_1122 yeah we can appreciate other people but we only REALLY understand eachother.
yeah the stronger the regional accent the better
@@dijital4801I always love when foreigners come to Glasgow and hear how guttural we can be. They’re so taken aback ha.
I propose Britain get an extra 171 for causing the phenomenon which is Indian swearing, where you take the most random assortment of British and American swearwords and combine them, for example "Bloody Bitch Bastard" or "Fuck Wanker Asshole". Not only do they convey anger only possible in a Delhi traffic jam, but also adds confusion damage for making no sense.
Zero confusion damage because both of those make sense
If you disagree you’re both of them
Madarchod does more damage than any english word ever will
My brain read that in an Indian accent 😂
Mix in the occasional "Bhenchod" for good measure.
If you wish to experience this please tell your next cold caller you are eating a steak.
“Gee whiz” is clearly the best swear word
Gosh darn golly
@@jschnei3 The jig is up!
@@swordimprovedgee willikers buster! Hold your horses.
@@SunDevilAJ now hold on fella, you don’t wanna mess with the bee’s knees
You son of a gun. H. E. double hockey sticks. Sugar. Oh my goodness
British “people”
🦷
thought about commenting that lol
Here before this blows up
@@freeottis There are precisely 3 T’s too many in that response 😂
iFunny??
One underrated facet of British swearing is the ability to call someone an inanimate object of your choice and everyone in earshot understanding implicitly that you're calling them an idiot/wanker/cunt based on the context. "You fuckin' spanner", etc. Words such as 'absolute', 'total' and 'utter' can also be included in the sentence for added emphasis.
oh, i love this about british swearing. first time i heard someone highkey FU call someone a knob i about died laughing.
Absolute balloon
"You absolute/fucking corporate wanker" is my fav
Wet wipe
Goonhead
Melon
Lemon
Brick
Yeah it's just assorted nouns
You are a complete DORMITORY
one thing to consider is the effectiveness of different swear words in each nation, some words and phrases may be offensive in the USA but not in the UK, for example "weight loss", "Vietnam" and "metre", while some words and phrases are offensive in the UK and not USA such as "toothbrush", "sun" and "TV licence"
😭😭that tv licence dig was out of pocket
As a Brit, the TV license bit fuckin floored me
That TV licence jab wasn't warranted.
We do hate tv license
Toothbrush and sun??? 😳
As a triple citizen of US, UK, and Australia my brain is now insulting itself😂
Edit: not to be that guy so screw you all for liking this!
Which accent do you use
Quite a lottery you won there, mate
💀
@@greanbeen2816 white.
Got the US, UK, and AUS personalities fighting. That ain't a battle not even Kratos would want in. 😂
I am British and this is slander.
(Haven’t seen the video yet)
1776 baby
Loser Loser Loser
I mean you’re not wrong.
He says the US is better at war. It is now, but the British have many centuries of war under their belt.
If you think English women are less attractive - walk around West London on a sunny day to see the offspring of globally-sourced trophy wives wandering from the gym to the juice bar or the park.
Average brit deduction skills
You're British. Everything part of the world and their history is a British slander.
In Australia we use the c-word so often I'm pretty sure people are desensitised to it. It's a noun, an adjective, a verb, a term of endearment, an exclamation, a swear, very versatile word.
in britain too. always thought it was funny to hear someone say 'you stupid cunt' and mean it as an endearment. maybe like in US you can call someone a shit, little bastard, a dick, and it can mean FU to hell, or a term of affection.
I've used 'cunt' so often and for so long in reference to all my friends that I've forgotten what most of them are actually called.
yet here you are calling it the "c-word"
@@bebgab1971that's because of UA-cam guidelines not because they don't want to say it
Crikey
Honestly a lot of those examples of British swear words are just words. A toddler wouldn’t even be told off for using “crikey” or “rubbish” but we’d side-eye them for not replacing those terms with “Christ on a bike” and “clusterfuck” respectively.
Why Christ on a bike, Why not use Christ on a stick instead
"To the British BBC is just a news network. To me it's a reason I can't sit down while I shit anymore."
- Alex 2023
I didn't get the joke.
@@DJNADJIBBeatz google BBC :P
@@DJNADJIBBeatzBBC is an abbreviation of big black Co*k 😂
@@DJNADJIBBeatz British "person" detected.
@@DJNADJIBBeatz Straight up, don’t ask 😂
I'm glad Al remains impartial
The country that has the insult 'bell end' wins in my book. We don't use it here in Australia, but damn, I love it.
4:01 The shot of the really corporate looking art people just saying a bunch of swear words is just hilarious to me! Just ignore the lady on the far right of the frame
I thought I was the only one who caught that
homegirl with ol reliable
Of course she is saying the harmless word "neighbour"!
the score being 17 - 76 is ABSOLUTE genius
Mind explaining
@@anareaforakinglikeme3029 1776 is the year the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the USA.
@@pingmetal clever
@@anareaforakinglikeme3029 They won the war and achieved independence
@pingmetal I thought it was because if you subtract them the answer is 69 😂
"But it's the reason I can't sh*t sitting down anymore" 💀💀💀
US Citizens: "African-american"
UK Chavs down the road: [CONTENT DELETED FOR VIOLATING COMMUNITY GUIDELINES]
They made my life a living hell
The fact he did this much math just for a joke at the end is insane dedication.
This much math? My guy, if that's hard maybe you shouldn't have dropped out of kindergarden, no offense lmao
@@samueldaniels8415No offense, but yes, offense. He didn't say it was hard.
@@Seetiyanwell, he implied it was a lot of maths, and he said it took insane dedication
@@Toby-ze6xc Sure, I saw that. Still doesn't mean he can't do it, or that it's hard. Maybe it's just tedious. I'm good at math, but I still hated my last couple math classes cause it was boring and tedious.
@@Seetiyan I’m pretty sure your maths classes were harder than simple addition and subtraction, might be wrong though 😂.
"The UK loses to the US 17 to 76"
"....17, 76?"
"Yeah..."
Bagging on The Office UK version as the last line was spicy lmao
Right? Because that is the original Office. Just like British English being the original and us making it better. Holy shit! Al and his deeply layered jokes. This bloody wanker is going places.
@@BellalisDopethe uk office is a million times better. I couldn't watch more than 2 episodes of the us office.
@@BellalisDopethe office US would not exist without the office UK.
@@liamwright2510 tbf the entire US wouldnt exist without the UK
The entire Internet wouldn't exist without the UK. You'd be reading a book right now
The thing about 'wanker' is that it's more used by the comprehensive school type teenagers to take the piss out of normal people so it has an extra strength that can't be explained easily
Still doesn't change the fact that swearing in British with a proper British accent is like 1000 times funnier
That's true 🤣. Also it's funnier when I (a white girl) cuss in Spanish and it cracks up my Mexican husband 😆🤭
So happy you're making long form content.
Long-form is best form!
Same, I was hooked for the entirety of it
Yeah thank you, I was advocating for that as well!
I was crossing my fingers as the tab loaded 😭🙏
i thought long form was like 10 minutes?
Remember kids, it's not racist when it's about the British
Yeah, because how can you be racist against people tbat aren't real?
Of course not, because "British" is not a race
@@Shultc It's not that they aren't a race, it's that they're not real.
@@bartsanders1553It's not that they aren't real it's that they are not people.
@@Shultc amazing, everything you said is wrong.
You forgot “cockwomble” and “thundercunt”, +1000 points UK
I live in pompey and have *NEVER* heard them before😭😭😭
Thundercunt is read like it was sung by ACDC
Nah nah nah nah nah
Thun-derr
Tosser is probably my favourite
@@rhynoctapusmy fav is cunt because you use it in the UK, it's fine, you use it in the USA you get boiled to death.
As an English man, I can confirm that our worst swear is to call someone american.
oof the hurt on their face after you say that's something an american would do
@@zacharvey4723 clearly you dont knwo the pain having an american accent when your brittsh its so humiliating
Bro you forgot about calling someone French
@J-alCapone what possessed you to say such a vile and derogatory term on this family-friendly channel?
@@Nathan0330 please forgive me, I shall not sin again. I can however think of several other words beginning with f to describe them, if you know what i mean 😏... The least worst of which is the classic nickname, the bloody Frogs
The man actually tried hiding that N at the side of the screen and thought we wouldn't notice.
I was scrolling for this 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@miguelgarzon8061same
Ah hell nah, we ain’t finna skip over that part at 4:14 that shit was diabolical
Dat's what i'm saying😂
Relatable fr
No way he ranked us down for wanker. Honestly my favourite swear word of all time, along with twat (which is much better pronounced with the proper a sound, rather than "twot" like he says it.
Also you missed out prick and dickhead for the UK - top tier swear words
Ones that aren't swear words but are still good - cretin, pillock and plonker (about as offensive as idiot)
If you actually understood British swearing, you would have realised we won 18-12
Nah he's American, after his school failed to teach him maths he'd probably think 18-12 was a draw.
I know one thing,18-61 woulda been rough for everyone involved@@Neion8
Let me know when the sun sets on that "empire," boys. I'll tell you which CIA blacksite is still illuminated.
@@Neion8real
Too fucking real
"you just assume your way of life is normal and superior?" Well that's how american cheese was born so yes, yes we do and it is.
No other countries buy American cheese, that says it all
i find it offensive that you even call that plastic cheese 😂😂
The milk i bought this morning is closer to cheese than what americans call "cheese".
Nobody in europe buys american cheese unless for burgers
@@simoncolin5939I still think Cheddar or Mozzarella is nicer any way 😂😂
And America is the land of the free, both your statement and mine, absolutely true!
You see, to land a British swear in the most effective way, you need an accent, without one you might as well be saying anything else.
Even with the accent it's not nearly as effective to American swears. Minus 10 points
Thats why americans dont appreciate the dedication and time it took to perfect these, most of them cant do a remotely competent accent to save their life and most of the time it sounds mad cringe. Their accent is easy as hell to do tho
And you need to over exaggerate it as much as possible
@@donfrisch3747not really. Also I’ve never heard anyone say most of the bad British swears Al mentions.
“To a British person, BBC is just a news Network… to me it’s the reason I can’t shit sitting down anymore.”
Im not seeing enough people talking about this golden line.
I almost spat my juice out.😂
Ong so true
"History began in 1776, everything before that was a mistake"
-Ronald Ulysses Swanson
nah if it wasnt for for my ancester and the over countrys ancestors the americans wouldnt have nothing to eat considering all you do is make it a bigger portion
@@CaptainGrogg6109it’s a joke.
Imagine living in a country where "gee whiz" and "darn" are an acceptable substitution for saying what you really mean
God invented sex. I'm pretty sure he's cool with the swear or two.
Oh go suck an egg.
Depends on where in the country you are. If you're in Chicago or NYC you won't hear anything that tame.
@mssurekandy5805 okay hear me out, people say humans were created in Gods image, this would theoretically mean God appreciates a good curse
@@piercecowley255 I would say good sex is evidence that God appreciates a good cuss. Lol
This man never misses this is the hardest ive laughed in a while
There is a nuance and an art to swearing that is perhaps wasted on an American audience. Anyone can spew a string of the worst swear words you know but you really feel it when someone expertly deploys an otherwise innane phrase that gets to the core and truly deeply insults the other person. It is like losing a fight to someone who is wielding a wet fish instead of an actual weapon.
exactly
couldn't've phrased it better myself
Uk “Twat” is definitely better then Us “twat”
Our boy does videos for our entertainment not worrying about monetization. what gentleman.
Americans pronounce "twat" as "twot", which doesn't sound as good to my ears as the British version that rhymes with "cat". But apart from that the Yanks have some blummin' good swearies.
I've never heard an American pronounce that word as 'twot.' I strongly suspect you just pulled that out of your ass.
You neeeeed to hear an angry German swearing. We are so far up ahead 😂
The funniest joke was saying the US has a better quality of life than the UK
😂
Cope harder
I bet the millions of homeless people in the US agree.
In England, any word can be turned into an insult somehow so British swearing gets infinite points.
You absolute sandwich (I just ate a sandwich)
YOU PILLOCK! (now read this w/ Gordon Ramsay's voice)
You absolute DORMITCHREE
You piss kidney
You fucking wardrobe
Most of the UK words aren’t swear words, a lot of them are things like frick or crap. Rubbish is nowhere near a swear word, it’s actually quite polite
I'm from the UK and I don't think I've ever heard someone say frick in person in my life.
@@kainewton-tm7zrhe's giving an equivalent for the US, they use it there
Twat, Tosser, Cunt, Bellend, Spanner, Tool, Wanker, Bollocks, Gorm, Dickhead, Knob (yeah these are defo the same as "frick" and "crap" i swear 😵💫
the only time i have ever used it was in school so i wouldn’t get caught swearing. as soon as the teacher was out of earshot it was back to normal.
The way he said Twat should get Alex arrested
4:06 There is always a gay joke in Al's videos if you search for it
17 to 76 is CRAZY
Reminds me of that war.
17-76 actually made me laugh so much more than it should’ve. I hate you Al.
No way bro supports Chelsea 💀💀💀
@@Abram--S Should’ve thought the profile picture through LOL. As irony would have it, I’m actually from Texas 💀💀
We only have memories and memories keep us alive. Ktbffh
@@squadwiper79 💙
@@alahiri2002Do you even support Chelsea or did u just like the look of it.😂😂😂
This is a whole new genre of UA-cam videos. Feels like watching someone's state of consciousness rather than scripted humour.
“My objective point system is subjective for a reason” - Comical genius. This only Took me ten seconds to replay this part and make sure I heard it right, absolutely brilliant.
That "The office" at the end! Lol
The Subjectively objective ranking system is genius 😂
I think the UK wins cause we can actually use our best swear words on TV shows. Inbetweeners alone blows the US tv swears outta the water.
Nahh when he said *"THE OFFICE"* he triggered the whole nation
They call people muppets, that's an instant win for them in my book
as far as i'm concerned the only guy who can call people muppets is gordon ramsey
Also doughnuts.
"you muppet sandwich"
@@ScientObject40cringe, just spell it donut
I work for an Australian company, and we have in-house software called Crikey. I had no idea it was a swear word. 😂 Someone came from AU to train us here in the US, and there was someone there to do cultural sensitivity. It was hilarious. The trainer was constantly surprised by which words aren't used in a business setting here. It was like every few sentences. 😂😂 Apparently they use a lot of swear words there, and no one thinks anything of it.
"crikey" get redemptions points because it's an abbreviation of "christ kill me," which goes kind of hard tbh
Well its a G rated swear word… so not really a swear word.
Crikey is no way a swear word just like saying rack off
Btw just remember the war with Britain vs America was a sidequest
They were to busy fighting emperor Napoleon💀
this man is nuts at the subtle reactions / communications between the two als
I was already dying laughing after just reading the fucking title 😂
As a Brit I see this as an absolute win
“ooo i guess i cant” had me dead 💀
Bro said “twot”
As a Brit, I'm afraid you're not refined enough to use our swear words effectively, so I can understand why you might struggle to understand the finer points. It's ok, we're not angry. We're not going to burn your white house down for the third time. Although frankly you'd probably thank us this time.
You and the Canadians need to decide amongst yourselves who actually get to take credit for that.
try it, wankahhh :)
@@TurinTurambar200 it's called an empire, we're all on the same team.
@@PhoenixLord777an empire that fell long ago😬
Really disappointed that this didn't turn into an ad for Babbel
Theres no better insult than calling someone a bloody wanker.
Ngl as a brit I have never heard anybody use bugger off by itself, I've heard fucking bugger off or fucking hell bugger off, but never bugger off, movie must've been written by an American who thought that's what Brits say, you wrote that movie, DIDNT YOU ALEX.
ok BUT we have free healthcare in the UK so...
Can we all just admit Al's shorts are comedy gold. But his long form videos should be showed in classrooms lol. This is perfect 😁🤘
Most people don't know what bugger means, and just assume its a filler word for swearing. It actually means "to assfuck".
love how he ended the video right after saying "the office". Which Office is better (UK/US) is a subject of heated interweb debate between brits and yanks
4:01 is for those of us that have been with Al for a while
Totally underrated part of the video in the comments.
3:20 It's Twat not Twat.
17 to 76. " That we won again this time. " Cracked me up.
Hell nahh bro thought he was slick by sliding in the n-word at 4:01 💀
Im sure some of you saw this meme:
British English: traditional
American English: simplified
This is it
Thank you for learning about our culture Alex
Jokes on you. We get free health care
I usually get annoyed at british slander. This is just comedy gold and you deserve my sub
As a Brit, I was laughing along with this. Until you mentioned The Office… Don’t you DARE even TRY to compare the two FFS! 😂
I literally did not expect him to be this smart 😂
dropping down hilarious jokes almost every day is the work of a comedy genius
Gosh! Not all Americans are dumb.
@@TerabyteGaming_12345not all, but most.
Me, as a english teen having never said crikey and buggar
The BBC joke genuinely made me spit out of my drink all of my monitor hahaha
🏈 🦅🇺🇸 1776 🇺🇸🦅🏈
(History reference to the American revolution for y'all that don't get it)
No, it's a reference to the first time american industry got outsourced to Asia.
it's probably the Americans who don't get that more than most 😂
@@PhoenixLord777no, more specifically it's the period during the American revolution that the declaration of Independence was created. July 4th, 1776
@@RandomInternetRat3276 yeah, the time when Britain decided it was cheaper to produce tea, sugar, and tobacco in India.
@@PhoenixLord777then why'd y'all get so poor immediately following the war 🧐
AMERICA🦅
Dude just TRYING to start a war 😂
the office one hurt ahh!
Pronouncing twat as twot is so American, taking English words and buggering it up
As a British -person- we indeed use fuck more often than you think.
Fook
No shit, everybody does - "bugger off" hasn't been used in decades...
@@fahrenheit2101 I don't think I've ever heard bugger off being used in a serious context.
fuck is the word that goes between all my other words when speaking, it's used as often as words like 'and' or 'the'
@@PhoenixLord777 ive never heard it used irl at all
"Oh, guess i can't say it" 😂😂
"Cock"
-James May's first and eventually last word.
I love this guy slowly developing into a hardcore racist with some racist jokes
This video have nothing about races. What are you talking about?
huh?
Crawling really thinks British is a race
@@Shultcthe n in 4:01
I didn’t even notice the n lmaoooo
As an British person myself, I can say that wanker can be brilliant if used in the right scenario
idk why but "shit with an e"
"minus 3" got me cracking up
As a Brit- mostly bang on the other stuff but I think you missed 90% of the daily swearing used
Clearly a semi final… because I know Australia is already through to the final round
4:14 was straight CAP (except the war part)
“the office” LMFAO
Last one just started a new war