Bully banter is exactly what I struggle with at work. Being the youngest of the old trades, everyone targets you. And when you call them out they say "it's only banter" but when you're the only target in the group, it doesn't feel like "banter"..
Calling out banter as bullying is the absolute worse thing you could do. If your lucky they will learn that you can't take it and will not talk to you anymore and treat you like a baby if your not lucky they will rib you even harder until you can take it or quit. You need to banter back with them. You said they are old. Just use that. That's what I did. Constantly lol. If you can work as hard as these guys and laugh at yourself (including your mistakes, you will make them and they know it) and laugh at them as well (everyone makes mistakes) I promise you trades guys are the most loyal friends you will find on the worksite. *** some guys are just jerks best way to tell that is if they dish out the banter but can't take it from you. Good luck buddy.
We have a guy like that at my work. I can 100% say it's his fault. He's not even the youngest or least experienced. He refuses to change any of the negatives we banter about. Going on 2 years of banter and we're pretty sure he finally married his fiancé of 10 years just to make us stop teasing about dragging her along. Everything else is his own deficiency that he refuses to change. And it'd be easy to change too. Like actually trying to solve a problem before asking everyone in the office. Or being on time. Or more organized.
Inauthenticity is the source of most problems socializing. People think people won’t like the real them, but unless you’re genuinely rude, people will appreciate what makes you unique.
We are the people so we should know this by default. There is something else at play here. Everyone knows but something(s) push them. We don't need others to test this, we can observe ourselves also...But honestly, who cares. We'll forget about it tomorrow, right?
Disagree to an extent. People with ADHD have more social difficulties and part of is it is being their authentic self will cause them to be distracted and or interupt people. Just be yourself doesn't work.
Roughly, but there are caveats. Be yourself, but _be willing to improve yourself_ . Be humble and straightforward about what you struggle with and get yourself to genuinely care about the other person's experience. If you have a disability that makes it more difficult to interact with others, be upfront about it, but also promise to do your best. Using your disability as an excuse to interrupt or say inappropriate things won't fly, or if they think that's what's happening.
To play devils advocate for talking over people, some people lack the ability to stop talking or they talk in circles, repeating themselves. Talking over people is rude, but sometimes people need to be cut off.
It’s totally fine to talk over people, you just need to be careful when you jump in because you don’t accidentally want to cut off something that’s interesting or important. Some people just really like to talk. They are self aware of it and don’t mind people talking them to get a word or 2 in.
@@108wee It's not fine in my culture, we let people speak before taking our own turn to speak. Of course if someone is talking and talking then it's different and with friends it's not that strict but as a general rule we don't talk over people.
I've experimentally tried just letting certain people talk and going out of my way to not interrupt, they NEVER stop. Often the way they speak seems specifically structured so there is never a clear endpoint or conclusion for you to reply to - just an endless stream of vague run-on sentences.
Golden rule of banter: it needs to go both ways. People are much more receptive to banter the more you demonstrate that you don’t take yourself seriously. Jokes about yourself is a good way to gauge how ok they are with banter. If they follow through with your jokes then oftentimes they are ok with being teased themselves
At my work, within the small clique I work with direcetly, we sorta go at each other all day and It's all in good fun. Now and again someone goes too far, there's a conversation and an apology then we move past it. If you're not up for the banter that day, you just say so and you'll be left alone. I trust those guys to have my back when it matters. it has helped me be more laid back and accepting of my own flaws, and theirs too...because It's all in good fun. I know It's probably not for everyone, but It's often the best part of my day.
I really admire how careful you are to judge a specific behavior as helpful or less helpful, while asserting a given person is more than a clip or a conversation. That really keeps it classy, and it's very kind and gracious.
I do agree that you can interrupt people when they are talking. But some people don't let you talk ever, they want to talk alone. So if you want to talk you have to interrupt them!
The negative Nancy tip is legit, and it applies as a general rule with social groups as well. You can absolutely vent to your social groups especially with good friends, but you shouldn’t dwell in that mindset for too long and especially let it become what you’re known for. I knew a guy in high school that always had this mindset, no matter what the situation was he was always unhappy about it, always complaining, and worst of all if he didn’t like something he would basically want everyone to feel the same way about it. Then he’d get upset and wonder why nobody invited him to things or wanted him around, and especially why he couldn’t get a girlfriend. People don’t want to be brought down, and even if they don’t dislike you as a person if they expect to feel that way around you they probably won’t be super anxious to have you along.
@@Rubindy I agree that sometimes there's a toxic positivity mindset, but that has nothing to do with "negative nancys". I find that a lot of these people are so absorbed in their negativity they come out as slightly narcissistic. Like, yeah, you may have some problems, but if that's all you ever talk about, you're basically only ever talking about yourself, if all you feel is bad about yourself, that comes across as self-absorbed. Also, never forget you can't ever expect others to help you with your problems. If they do, that's a bonus, not something you're owed.
@@ric6611 You helped round out this comment thread. Thank you for that. It's a problem I'm working on myself. Learning to ride the wave of negative emotion rather than tumbling in it is a huge thing for me.
I can't explain to you how much it hurts when ur trying to open up to someone and they keep getting distracted by something that just doesn't matter. And idk what's worse, if they do it on purpose or not.
I recently experienced this. I was trying to reconnect with some folks by sharing a very cute, anecdotal story with the group when I was rudely cut off so one could show the other an app on their phone. I know when you’re cut off like that, the correct thing to do is not allow them to talk over you and come back and finish the story, but I was so pit off by the rudeness that I ended up excusing myself and leaving the situation.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson really was accurately represented in the short clip, he believes that he's smarter than he is and that it gives him the right to talk over and down to others.
That's why Brian Cox is so awesome. He really doesn't mind "dumbing down" for the person he's talking to, and explains everything with the utmost of respect, as he knows not everyone is an astrophysicist.
I recently cut it off with some long-time friends because they were essentially performing these behaviors almost every time we interacted, but over time, the frequency of bully banter far outweighed any sense of connection.
It's incredible that even really charismatic people can make such bad blunders in conversation, that can even go as far as alienating their conversation partner.
I remember people constantly doing this throughout middle school and highschool. I think it is part of the reason people in gen z have trust issues and struggle to tell when someone is being serious or not. It just makes everyone feel disillusioned.
This all boils down to bad habits that insecure, un-self-aware people do. Work on yourself, be self-aware, learn the social cues of others, and treat people like you want to be treated, and you will never fall foul to these damning social antics... It's cliché, but true!
There's two guys at my work that take their break together. The sit right next to each other and stare at their phones the entire time. They don't talk or share videos. I can't help but wonder if they're in a long term relationship and have gotten to the point where they are happy just being together.
I could see using bully banter to write characters who are pretending to like each other but who actually have issues with one another. Personally though, I don't think I would use phone addiction to show disinterest in a scene as it is overdone. The use of a distraction is great though. Your character is sharing something personal at a waffle house and their companion is trying one drop of each different syrup in each crispy chamber of their waffle. The character finished with some clever point and the companion looks like they are mulling it over only to push one particular syrup away from them in disgust. Honestly, I love bad behavior cues and what not to do videos like this because they are so useful in making dynamic and believable encounters.
That writing style you mentioned was the SOLE writing trick in the arsenal of Joss Whedon and got that obnoxious nepo baby a two decade too long career before people saw it as the bully banter that it was AFTER he got exposed for ACTUALLY BULLYING nearly everybody he worked with.
@@robkino6137 what I mentioned above is not a writing style. It's a technique to write a scene. Often, I use videos on personality to help differentiate the characters. If everyone uses bully banter then they all feel like the same character. A better technique would be to create characters with different personalities and then write them with these aspects. As for Joss Whedon, script writing is a bit different than novel writing. Writers can create a script and it can be tweaked and altered a dozen times by different people before hitting the screen. Some changes are good and others are bad. A good edit can turn a bad script into gold. For novel writing, it only gets hit by a few different people and the author retains control of the story. Beta readers help an author improve content and editors helps improve form.
I was never a big fan of NGT, but after seeing him on JRE, I couldn't stand the guy. His ego is the size of Jupiter. 😅 Great episode. I've become really conscious about the phone cue and I've trying to distance myself from it more. A side note, if someone likes something that I don't and innocently brings it up, I'll sometimes jab at it with some levity, being receptive to how the other person seems to feel. I'll also often make it clear that it's fine to have varying opinions and I wouldn't be judging them for liking it. Finally, it's good to come up with something that you do admire or appreciate about that thing, too. That way you're not just leaving a subject with a disconnect from the other person, but you're actually connecting with them and possibly learning more about that thing as well as the person you're talking to.
Watching Adam instantly acknowledge his rudeness and heartfelt apologize , then Rogan accepting and moving forward is great way to deal with things like this.
0:10 I hope he’s not referring too the pedophilia in the movie industry. why would he say “Girls over 12” is he mocking him for some type of joke Behind close doors??? 😤😡😡
It's also because Josh is famously mocked for looking a lot younger than he really is. He is regularly told (jokingly) that he looks like a 12 year old boy, it's a running gag with him.
I can't even remember her name...the singer chick who said, "I want to see what you just said written on paper"...I'M DYING HERE!!!! I've never liked her much, but that comment carved out at least a tiny amount of respect. LMAO!!!!
I agree with a lot of the points made on here. That being said, I’d prefer people to take the piss out of me in person and sing my praises behind my back than people saying niceties to my face then saying the worst things about me when I’m not there
I was a big fan of NDT since I am also a researcher and have been into science my whole life, but I made the mistake of watching too many videos of his interviews. Now I skip a video every time I see him.
Dudebro fratboy: ”I feel like you targeted me." After targeting an entire nation or people. Here’s targeting him: 15 years ago, he would have been wearing 3 polo shirts, all with their collars popped.
I'm pretty sure he's Canadian too... but it's the only thing he's right about too... Canadians are unfairly stereotyped as nice and polite.. they are rude assholes in real life.. just like on that podcast
You know what’s funny? People don’t like me for trying to stay positive and being so open when those people who criticize do literally everything in this video! When I tell them it’s rude and how it makes me feel, they get unbelievably angry.
I figured out the best way to deal with these people is the "Funny how?" Method. Tell them to explain the joke, seriously, asking them why would they find this funny, now, some of them may dodge this trying to appeal to the group, if this happens point towards someone you trust and ask them if perhaps they understood. Then ask them why would they make a joke about that and find it funny. The other way is the way my dad used to do it, to say it again, out loud so everyone may hear it again. This disables the group support, attacks the individual. The more you
I get easily distracted or will sometimes have to do something while listening but I usually will either apologize or let them know that I'm still listening. I still don't think this is optimal but is definitely better than seeming disinterested if you are like me.
I find that no one is willing to be rude in any way to you once you've put thousands in the ground. It can also be a great crutch for when you want to get back and they've already been rude only to find out they are nothing more than your natural prey.
I always do disrespectful distractions unintentionally cus i get distracted very easily. I'm not sure if this is the correct way to make it up to the person talking but I always ask "you were saying? (Insert last topic they said)" because i feel really bad about it
All these problems if they exist, roots only to one single problem, the "inability to"listen".. If the world starts listening for a while and in return with no solutions that would definitely be a great therapy.. I personally feel these days listening is probably the bestest communication ever.. I get to listen to too many friends around me abt their problems, relationships but ig only some of them even know which actor i like the most.. Jai shri krishn
its not so much that its a topic that they might be insecure about but everyone will assume malicious intent if you touch a subject they COULD be insecure about. Someone having been divorced might have come to terms with that but if a person that barely knows you makes fun of you for it then it will read as them trying to mock you. If your close friend who was with you during the process did the same thing you would probably laugh or even feel it take a bit of a weight off your shoulders.
I've unfortunately fallen into the trap of helping in the bully banter. I'm not very sociable despite desperately wanting to, I usually end up doing what everyone else is doing as to not stick out from the crowd, there was this person that the group would put all their crap on and despite not feeling that great about it and despite how he probably wasn't 100% comfortable with it, I played along because that's just what the group did. Needless to say, I'm trying to be a better person.
What makes a person boring? Lack of enthusiasm: People who lack enthusiasm or seem disinterested in what they're doing or talking about can come across as dull or uninteresting. Lack of social skills: People who struggle with social skills, such as initiating conversations or maintaining eye contact, may struggle to connect with others and appear boring. Monotony: People who have a routine that never changes or don't try new things can be perceived as monotonous and unexciting. Lack of curiosity: People who aren't curious about the world around them or who don't seek out new experiences may be seen as lacking depth or complexity. Inability to hold a conversation: People who struggle to hold a conversation or have nothing interesting to say can come across as boring. Lack of humor: People who are overly serious or don't have a sense of humor can be perceived as dull or uninteresting. Some of these People could be so shy that they haven’t had a chance to come out of their shell. Sometimes a new Job or Partner can bring them out of it, and helps them develop more Personality
Honestly cutting people off or talking over people can be difficult when talking in a group. Growing up I was always talked over by my older family members since I was always the youngest so now it’s hard to find a balance or like know when it’s an appropriate time to speak up especially when there’s like 5 other people talking at the same time so it kinda throws me off and I’m left feeling if I’m the one cutting people off cause I notice sometimes 4 people will be talking at once about the same subject and then when I say something it gets really quiet so I don’t know if I’m cutting them off maybe that’s just my experience tho
I think the Arianna one was fine honestly, unless the girl has a speech impediment or something. Everyone says something silly at some point and you should be able to laugh at yourself. It'll be the other person's turn eventually.
Fun fact: "snuck" is very much a word. It used to be "sneaked", but since the 1800's "snuck" was used more and more often, so it definitely is now a word. Edit: ok i watched further and they even said it's a word, whatever....
Tyson is unlikeable. The guy is rude, dismissive, condescending, and unwilling to even listen to people talk about something he's made his mind up over.
2:09 This was a completely scripted interview made purely for the purpose of going viral and promoting Superbad. The "interviewer" is literally the director.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is good as a host of a scripted TV-show like Cosmos. He is insufferable in interviews and podcasts. He constantly talk over others, and I think he is too emotional when arguing.
Some dudes really like to target me in group settings, thinking it will score points for them with chicks, as I am pretty conventionally attractive they think it will put me below them, sometimes it even works for them. Anyways, just act cool. Don't laugh along. Maybe give a quick quip back or just move along with the conversation addressing the other people who don't do that to you. Some people are just, insecure like that
Love languages can help us communicate better with other people, but they can also help us love ourselves. There are five groups that acts of love might fall into. They are: - Acts of Service - Gift-Giving - Physical touch - Quality Time - Words of Affirmation Maybe you’re needing some personal words of affirmation - try reflective journaling! Do you respond best to physical affection from others? Try fulfilling this for yourself with a relaxing bath and an evening of pampering. What activity makes you feel loved the most?
The woman who insulted Conan was wrong. Snuck is a word and is a rare example of the adoption of an irregular verb. It became common usage since the 1800's. Its been published in literature and it can be found in dictionaries. She is simply flat out wrong. Pedantry more often than not just exposes the ignorance of the pedant..
People dislike me before I even open my mouth When they get to know me, they like me a lot, but I'm one of those "don't like the cut of his jib" people apparently lol
I never had the chance to develop fully when I was younger dude, some people just don't ever have friends or good parenting when they are younger I hope you can understand that.
It also takes a certain individual to know that they don't have enough knowledge to joke about something regarding someone else without prying into some insecurity or sensitive topic, there's a difference between being laid back and being insensitive.
Joss Whedon's entire writing style. He literally repackaged the bullying that nerds experienced, repackaged it with attractive women in skintight leather pants doing high kicks, and sold it back to the nerds. And the worst part? THEY FELL FOR IT HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
That first one was funny though. I think some jokes should be left between you and your close friends. Some people, especially if you don't really know each other can feel offended by some comments.
I'll say it again. Confidence isn't something you just get for nothing. It's a feeling you get when you are competent at something. Become good at conversation, and you can feel confident about it. Pretending to be confident doesn't get you anywhere. Get it?
I notice people who do this all the time... what I think it is, is the people are oblivious... they are maladjusted in a way where they can't discern between charming banter and offputting comments. Being this way is pretty much a personality that is too common.
Bully banter is exactly what I struggle with at work. Being the youngest of the old trades, everyone targets you. And when you call them out they say "it's only banter" but when you're the only target in the group, it doesn't feel like "banter"..
Yeah, that's just bullying. More accurately, it's hazing. It's a test of your mettle. Keep cool and intelligent and you will gain their respect.
You need to banter back but don't overdo it. And keep cool, just like Mitch said. If they break you down then you're not one of the boys.
Calling out banter as bullying is the absolute worse thing you could do. If your lucky they will learn that you can't take it and will not talk to you anymore and treat you like a baby if your not lucky they will rib you even harder until you can take it or quit. You need to banter back with them. You said they are old. Just use that. That's what I did. Constantly lol. If you can work as hard as these guys and laugh at yourself (including your mistakes, you will make them and they know it) and laugh at them as well (everyone makes mistakes) I promise you trades guys are the most loyal friends you will find on the worksite. *** some guys are just jerks best way to tell that is if they dish out the banter but can't take it from you. Good luck buddy.
We have a guy like that at my work. I can 100% say it's his fault. He's not even the youngest or least experienced.
He refuses to change any of the negatives we banter about. Going on 2 years of banter and we're pretty sure he finally married his fiancé of 10 years just to make us stop teasing about dragging her along.
Everything else is his own deficiency that he refuses to change. And it'd be easy to change too.
Like actually trying to solve a problem before asking everyone in the office.
Or being on time.
Or more organized.
just give them the same energy they do to you, if they cry about it. than make fun of them for not being able to handle things they put out
Inauthenticity is the source of most problems socializing. People think people won’t like the real them, but unless you’re genuinely rude, people will appreciate what makes you unique.
We are the people so we should know this by default. There is something else at play here. Everyone knows but something(s) push them. We don't need others to test this, we can observe ourselves also...But honestly, who cares. We'll forget about it tomorrow, right?
Even if you´re genuinely rude all the time, at least people would like or respect you more that if you´re genuinely rude but pretend to be nice
I think one thing that holds people back about this is how social media is incredibly vindictive, making people feel they need to act perfect
Disagree to an extent. People with ADHD have more social difficulties and part of is it is being their authentic self will cause them to be distracted and or interupt people. Just be yourself doesn't work.
Roughly, but there are caveats. Be yourself, but _be willing to improve yourself_ . Be humble and straightforward about what you struggle with and get yourself to genuinely care about the other person's experience.
If you have a disability that makes it more difficult to interact with others, be upfront about it, but also promise to do your best. Using your disability as an excuse to interrupt or say inappropriate things won't fly, or if they think that's what's happening.
To play devils advocate for talking over people, some people lack the ability to stop talking or they talk in circles, repeating themselves. Talking over people is rude, but sometimes people need to be cut off.
It’s totally fine to talk over people, you just need to be careful when you jump in because you don’t accidentally want to cut off something that’s interesting or important. Some people just really like to talk. They are self aware of it and don’t mind people talking them to get a word or 2 in.
That's my boss. He just talks and talks and talks. An explanation that could take 1 sentence takes him at least 20
@@108wee It's not fine in my culture, we let people speak before taking our own turn to speak. Of course if someone is talking and talking then it's different and with friends it's not that strict but as a general rule we don't talk over people.
That's so true. My father talks in circles and if you don't interrupt him, you'll never speak.
I've experimentally tried just letting certain people talk and going out of my way to not interrupt, they NEVER stop. Often the way they speak seems specifically structured so there is never a clear endpoint or conclusion for you to reply to - just an endless stream of vague run-on sentences.
Golden rule of banter: it needs to go both ways. People are much more receptive to banter the more you demonstrate that you don’t take yourself seriously. Jokes about yourself is a good way to gauge how ok they are with banter. If they follow through with your jokes then oftentimes they are ok with being teased themselves
I workshop the joke if it's a 1v1 setting if the person is unsure to show them that the act itself is more comedic than personal.
At my work, within the small clique I work with direcetly, we sorta go at each other all day and It's all in good fun. Now and again someone goes too far, there's a conversation and an apology then we move past it. If you're not up for the banter that day, you just say so and you'll be left alone. I trust those guys to have my back when it matters. it has helped me be more laid back and accepting of my own flaws, and theirs too...because It's all in good fun.
I know It's probably not for everyone, but It's often the best part of my day.
I really admire how careful you are to judge a specific behavior as helpful or less helpful, while asserting a given person is more than a clip or a conversation. That really keeps it classy, and it's very kind and gracious.
To be fair, Neil Degrasse Tyson really is that person.
Exactly! That's what memes are for! LOL
I do agree that you can interrupt people when they are talking. But some people don't let you talk ever, they want to talk alone. So if you want to talk you have to interrupt them!
True
Your long term friend of 5 years is opening up about his father’s death and you sigh, rolling your eyes “get to the point, I want to talk about legos”
@@soymilkman That's when you just say nothing and hug them 🙂
Yeah i have to do this with my mom sometimes
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."
That's the quote that went through my head as I watched this. Great episode!
Batman begins?
@@ElectricIguana - yes!
Sooo... the opposite of what this video says?
@@eyescreamcake - watch it again.
@@Minder666 It's the opposite of what the video says. Read it again.
The negative Nancy tip is legit, and it applies as a general rule with social groups as well. You can absolutely vent to your social groups especially with good friends, but you shouldn’t dwell in that mindset for too long and especially let it become what you’re known for. I knew a guy in high school that always had this mindset, no matter what the situation was he was always unhappy about it, always complaining, and worst of all if he didn’t like something he would basically want everyone to feel the same way about it. Then he’d get upset and wonder why nobody invited him to things or wanted him around, and especially why he couldn’t get a girlfriend. People don’t want to be brought down, and even if they don’t dislike you as a person if they expect to feel that way around you they probably won’t be super anxious to have you along.
he propably had some problems but no one cares.. we live in a toxic positivity mindset nowadays.. if ur not a happy winner ur out
@@Rubindy "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone."
@@Rubindy I agree that sometimes there's a toxic positivity mindset, but that has nothing to do with "negative nancys". I find that a lot of these people are so absorbed in their negativity they come out as slightly narcissistic. Like, yeah, you may have some problems, but if that's all you ever talk about, you're basically only ever talking about yourself, if all you feel is bad about yourself, that comes across as self-absorbed. Also, never forget you can't ever expect others to help you with your problems. If they do, that's a bonus, not something you're owed.
@@ric6611 You helped round out this comment thread. Thank you for that.
It's a problem I'm working on myself. Learning to ride the wave of negative emotion rather than tumbling in it is a huge thing for me.
@@FlamingCockatielNice that you're working on yourself. Good luck and take care!
I think the power of not saying things is underrated, if you don’t put yourself up it allows others to do that in their own mind
I can't explain to you how much it hurts when ur trying to open up to someone and they keep getting distracted by something that just doesn't matter. And idk what's worse, if they do it on purpose or not.
I recently experienced this. I was trying to reconnect with some folks by sharing a very cute, anecdotal story with the group when I was rudely cut off so one could show the other an app on their phone. I know when you’re cut off like that, the correct thing to do is not allow them to talk over you and come back and finish the story, but I was so pit off by the rudeness that I ended up excusing myself and leaving the situation.
Politely mention it. Or make a vulnerable joke about it. Their response should give you the answer!
It's horrible even if they don't mean to do it
I recently ended a friendship for this very reason.
Read the room and realize they're not interested. Stop trying to force yourself on people who don't want it.
Snuck is completely acceptable to use. Confidently incorrecting people
Neil DeGrasse Tyson really was accurately represented in the short clip, he believes that he's smarter than he is and that it gives him the right to talk over and down to others.
This so much
I call him Typhoon Tyson because he's really windy.
Yeah his recent interview with pbd reaaally showed how unintelligent he actually is
That's why Brian Cox is so awesome. He really doesn't mind "dumbing down" for the person he's talking to, and explains everything with the utmost of respect, as he knows not everyone is an astrophysicist.
I was just about to comment, when I saw your perfect summing up of this loudmouth science grifter
0:51 Burt Reynolds' "comeback" was great lol
I recently cut it off with some long-time friends because they were essentially performing these behaviors almost every time we interacted, but over time, the frequency of bully banter far outweighed any sense of connection.
I believe this is your best video to date. More straight forward thorough insight instead of anecdotal snippets to support the narrative. Five stars
It's incredible that even really charismatic people can make such bad blunders in conversation, that can even go as far as alienating their conversation partner.
I remember people constantly doing this throughout middle school and highschool. I think it is part of the reason people in gen z have trust issues and struggle to tell when someone is being serious or not. It just makes everyone feel disillusioned.
Imagine Neil DeGrassi doing a talk on how to be charismatic. That’s be hilarious.
This all boils down to bad habits that insecure, un-self-aware people do. Work on yourself, be self-aware, learn the social cues of others, and treat people like you want to be treated, and you will never fall foul to these damning social antics... It's cliché, but true!
Not everything is because they’re insecure or lack self awareness
@@matthewtartt9422 Except, that, it is...
Solid advice
There's two guys at my work that take their break together. The sit right next to each other and stare at their phones the entire time. They don't talk or share videos. I can't help but wonder if they're in a long term relationship and have gotten to the point where they are happy just being together.
I like how you fit a clip of rogan being on the other side for once.
Showing even the best make mistakes
he does this type of stuff often unfortunately, among other things.
@@onzbrau2711 why unfortunately?
The best 😂
It is snuck into the room
Not sneaked
I could see using bully banter to write characters who are pretending to like each other but who actually have issues with one another. Personally though, I don't think I would use phone addiction to show disinterest in a scene as it is overdone. The use of a distraction is great though. Your character is sharing something personal at a waffle house and their companion is trying one drop of each different syrup in each crispy chamber of their waffle. The character finished with some clever point and the companion looks like they are mulling it over only to push one particular syrup away from them in disgust.
Honestly, I love bad behavior cues and what not to do videos like this because they are so useful in making dynamic and believable encounters.
That writing style you mentioned was the SOLE writing trick in the arsenal of Joss Whedon and got that obnoxious nepo baby a two decade too long career before people saw it as the bully banter that it was AFTER he got exposed for ACTUALLY BULLYING nearly everybody he worked with.
@@robkino6137 what I mentioned above is not a writing style. It's a technique to write a scene. Often, I use videos on personality to help differentiate the characters. If everyone uses bully banter then they all feel like the same character.
A better technique would be to create characters with different personalities and then write them with these aspects. As for Joss Whedon, script writing is a bit different than novel writing. Writers can create a script and it can be tweaked and altered a dozen times by different people before hitting the screen. Some changes are good and others are bad. A good edit can turn a bad script into gold.
For novel writing, it only gets hit by a few different people and the author retains control of the story. Beta readers help an author improve content and editors helps improve form.
When I tease someone of their insecurities I always say something about mine aswell so everybody always laughs.
didn't expect this video to be this good. good job CoC.
I was never a big fan of NGT, but after seeing him on JRE, I couldn't stand the guy. His ego is the size of Jupiter. 😅
Great episode. I've become really conscious about the phone cue and I've trying to distance myself from it more.
A side note, if someone likes something that I don't and innocently brings it up, I'll sometimes jab at it with some levity, being receptive to how the other person seems to feel. I'll also often make it clear that it's fine to have varying opinions and I wouldn't be judging them for liking it. Finally, it's good to come up with something that you do admire or appreciate about that thing, too. That way you're not just leaving a subject with a disconnect from the other person, but you're actually connecting with them and possibly learning more about that thing as well as the person you're talking to.
Or Uranus
Watching Adam instantly acknowledge his rudeness and heartfelt apologize , then Rogan accepting and moving forward is great way to deal with things like this.
0:10 I hope he’s not referring too the pedophilia in the movie industry. why would he say “Girls over 12” is he mocking him for some type of joke Behind close doors??? 😤😡😡
Earlier in the episode Josh revealed he wrote for the Dora the Explorer magazine.
It's also because Josh is famously mocked for looking a lot younger than he really is.
He is regularly told (jokingly) that he looks like a 12 year old boy, it's a running gag with him.
He means "not liking" as in being scared of girls over 12. Josh Widdicombe is perceived as a whimp. It's the basis of his comedy persona.
I can't even remember her name...the singer chick who said, "I want to see what you just said written on paper"...I'M DYING HERE!!!! I've never liked her much, but that comment carved out at least a tiny amount of respect. LMAO!!!!
I agree with a lot of the points made on here. That being said, I’d prefer people to take the piss out of me in person and sing my praises behind my back than people saying niceties to my face then saying the worst things about me when I’m not there
You should analyze the discussion between the social genius Adam Friedland and Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Truly one of the conversations of all time
I was a big fan of NDT since I am also a researcher and have been into science my whole life, but I made the mistake of watching too many videos of his interviews. Now I skip a video every time I see him.
Dudebro fratboy: ”I feel like you targeted me."
After targeting an entire nation or people. Here’s targeting him: 15 years ago, he would have been wearing 3 polo shirts, all with their collars popped.
I'm pretty sure he's Canadian too... but it's the only thing he's right about too... Canadians are unfairly stereotyped as nice and polite.. they are rude assholes in real life.. just like on that podcast
What
When I accidentally interrupt someone out of excitement I cover my mouth with my hand and say sorry
You know what’s funny? People don’t like me for trying to stay positive and being so open when those people who criticize do literally everything in this video! When I tell them it’s rude and how it makes me feel, they get unbelievably angry.
wow this video was so informative and helpful...im kinda mindblown rn bc i do a lot of these habits regularly
I figured out the best way to deal with these people is the "Funny how?" Method.
Tell them to explain the joke, seriously, asking them why would they find this funny, now, some of them may dodge this trying to appeal to the group, if this happens point towards someone you trust and ask them if perhaps they understood.
Then ask them why would they make a joke about that and find it funny.
The other way is the way my dad used to do it, to say it again, out loud so everyone may hear it again.
This disables the group support, attacks the individual.
The more you
Aliens: You humans are so weird.
Me: Yeah, you’re definitely right on that one.
I get easily distracted or will sometimes have to do something while listening but I usually will either apologize or let them know that I'm still listening. I still don't think this is optimal but is definitely better than seeming disinterested if you are like me.
Neil Degrasse Tyson not realizing he’s being annoying and talking over Joe is hilarious seeing as he’s some smart scientist.
IQ or academics are not the same as social skills.
@@juanmanuelmoramontes3883 exactly.
Imagine caring if people like you
I find that no one is willing to be rude in any way to you once you've put thousands in the ground. It can also be a great crutch for when you want to get back and they've already been rude only to find out they are nothing more than your natural prey.
4:59 as a high school English teacher, I deal with this from 30 people at a time, 90 minutes at a time, four times a day.
I always do disrespectful distractions unintentionally cus i get distracted very easily. I'm not sure if this is the correct way to make it up to the person talking but I always ask "you were saying? (Insert last topic they said)" because i feel really bad about it
a good rule of thumb is to not tease people you arent close to, at all
Another vid that helps me learn how to quickly avoid future contact with people I don't care for.
2:55 bro is that markiplier on the left?? I can’t tell
Yeah I think
yes! i love markiplier sm
Yep, it is. Did a video with Kimmel few years ago.
All these problems if they exist, roots only to one single problem, the "inability to"listen"..
If the world starts listening for a while and in return with no solutions that would definitely be a great therapy..
I personally feel these days listening is probably the bestest communication ever..
I get to listen to too many friends around me abt their problems, relationships but ig only some of them even know which actor i like the most..
Jai shri krishn
Finally, a video I can relate to on this channel.
Yep. Snuck has been adopted as an equivalent, because LANGUAGE EVOLVES.
its not so much that its a topic that they might be insecure about but everyone will assume malicious intent if you touch a subject they COULD be insecure about. Someone having been divorced might have come to terms with that but if a person that barely knows you makes fun of you for it then it will read as them trying to mock you. If your close friend who was with you during the process did the same thing you would probably laugh or even feel it take a bit of a weight off your shoulders.
That comment Barbara made to Whoopi : "Got dam".
I've unfortunately fallen into the trap of helping in the bully banter.
I'm not very sociable despite desperately wanting to, I usually end up doing what everyone else is doing as to not stick out from the crowd, there was this person that the group would put all their crap on and despite not feeling that great about it and despite how he probably wasn't 100% comfortable with it, I played along because that's just what the group did.
Needless to say, I'm trying to be a better person.
What makes a person boring?
Lack of enthusiasm: People who lack enthusiasm or seem disinterested in what they're doing or talking about can come across as dull or uninteresting.
Lack of social skills: People who struggle with social skills, such as initiating conversations or maintaining eye contact, may struggle to connect with others and appear boring.
Monotony: People who have a routine that never changes or don't try new things can be perceived as monotonous and unexciting.
Lack of curiosity: People who aren't curious about the world around them or who don't seek out new experiences may be seen as lacking depth or complexity.
Inability to hold a conversation: People who struggle to hold a conversation or have nothing interesting to say can come across as boring.
Lack of humor: People who are overly serious or don't have a sense of humor can be perceived as dull or uninteresting.
Some of these People could be so shy that they haven’t had a chance to come out of their shell. Sometimes a new Job or Partner can bring them out of it, and helps them develop more Personality
What if I was born with these traits, i.e. autistic?
@@lightcycle87 Meet other autistic people because they communicate in the same way and won’t judge you.
Don’t forget that last one:
Worried about what makes others boring.
@@matthewtartt9422 ok
To decrease risk I just avoid social interactions in general
This is actually great education. Now we need a video titled "how not to sound like a troll when replying to post".
Making someone laugh after an insult doesn't mean they are okay with it. It just means they are professional.
Very helpful overall
There are so many people like this
Honestly cutting people off or talking over people can be difficult when talking in a group. Growing up I was always talked over by my older family members since I was always the youngest so now it’s hard to find a balance or like know when it’s an appropriate time to speak up especially when there’s like 5 other people talking at the same time so it kinda throws me off and I’m left feeling if I’m the one cutting people off cause I notice sometimes 4 people will be talking at once about the same subject and then when I say something it gets really quiet so I don’t know if I’m cutting them off maybe that’s just my experience tho
I wish I had the luxury to learn in charisma university, but as an alternative can you guys kindly suggest me few resources to boost charisma 🛐
Joe at 4:45 should have been slapped
I think the Arianna one was fine honestly, unless the girl has a speech impediment or something.
Everyone says something silly at some point and you should be able to laugh at yourself. It'll be the other person's turn eventually.
Yeah, but insecurities exist and unless you have enough relationship delving in such territory is indeed rude.
Fun fact: "snuck" is very much a word. It used to be "sneaked", but since the 1800's "snuck" was used more and more often, so it definitely is now a word.
Edit: ok i watched further and they even said it's a word, whatever....
No wonder I don’t have any friends…..but at my age too late to worry about it 😂
Hell is other people
Tyson is unlikeable. The guy is rude, dismissive, condescending, and unwilling to even listen to people talk about something he's made his mind up over.
He has to some how deal with complete fuckwits like you on a daily basis and yet still remain friendly... Give him some credit..?
2:09 This was a completely scripted interview made purely for the purpose of going viral and promoting Superbad. The "interviewer" is literally the director.
5.20 advice: if youre zoning out in a conversation, make it about you. 😂😂
I'm watching these videos and I'm like "I would never do that. Do I have charisma?"
The girls over 12 line is the greatest thing Ruffalo ever did
Neil deGrasse Tyson is good as a host of a scripted TV-show like Cosmos. He is insufferable in interviews and podcasts. He constantly talk over others, and I think he is too emotional when arguing.
I'd say you're just a moron.
The Andrew Schultz video unfortunately reminded me of myself
Some dudes really like to target me in group settings, thinking it will score points for them with chicks, as I am pretty conventionally attractive they think it will put me below them, sometimes it even works for them. Anyways, just act cool. Don't laugh along. Maybe give a quick quip back or just move along with the conversation addressing the other people who don't do that to you. Some people are just, insecure like that
The podcast with those guys was so uncomfy. It seemed like they were being rude to their guest. Jennifer Garner also sounded like such a know it all 😅
To be fair, Conan is asking for it though -- he has a rich history of being rude/making jokes at his guest's expense.
Snuck has been around since the 1800s. It's American English, not British, but it's a valid word.
That clip of NDT is pretty accurate for his personality
It’s honestly amazing how Steiny manages to be so disliked. It’s not even a 50/50, most people just hate him outright.
Neil is definitely unlikeable.
Agree -- which is strange because he's clearly intelligent. A moment of introspection will show him what he needs to improve on.
@@BenjaminPlaysRust he and Bill Nye are basically poster boys for the concept of hubris.
Love languages can help us communicate better with other people, but they can also help us love ourselves.
There are five groups that acts of love might fall into.
They are:
- Acts of Service
- Gift-Giving
- Physical touch
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
Maybe you’re needing some personal words of affirmation - try reflective journaling! Do you respond best to physical affection from others? Try fulfilling this for yourself with a relaxing bath and an evening of pampering.
What activity makes you feel loved the most?
The woman who insulted Conan was wrong. Snuck is a word and is a rare example of the adoption of an irregular verb. It became common usage since the 1800's. Its been published in literature and it can be found in dictionaries. She is simply flat out wrong. Pedantry more often than not just exposes the ignorance of the pedant..
People dislike me before I even open my mouth
When they get to know me, they like me a lot, but I'm one of those "don't like the cut of his jib" people apparently lol
I can honestly say that I’ve never had any complaints about you.
Once a playground bully, always a playground bully!
It’s actually crazy to me that people need videos like this to teach them how to interact with others
Why?
@@Rayziyun fr
I never had the chance to develop fully when I was younger dude, some people just don't ever have friends or good parenting when they are younger I hope you can understand that.
Comments like OPs are so annoying.
A consequence of our modern era that people need a video to teach them how to interact instead of just interacting.
The snuck to sneaked was obviously set up
You can't. It takes a certain individual to laugh at a funny joke without immediately getting hurt or offended.
It also takes a certain individual to know that they don't have enough knowledge to joke about something regarding someone else without prying into some insecurity or sensitive topic, there's a difference between being laid back and being insensitive.
Bully banter clearly isn't a bad method considering everyone does laugh and respect the bully more...
Lol what
Copium
Can you guys make a video on the Reacher series?
When there’s a room full of people who pull this off well it’s truly a work of art.
Never understood why the girls over 12 is funny. People crack up hard but its such a weird childish middle school joke
I thought it was funny because it's a dig into him that no one was prepared for.
TV and movies are full of this kind of 'banter'. People grow up watching it and do it even without realizing it.
Joss Whedon's entire writing style. He literally repackaged the bullying that nerds experienced, repackaged it with attractive women in skintight leather pants doing high kicks, and sold it back to the nerds. And the worst part? THEY FELL FOR IT HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
This is how we roll in the UK. Our sense of humour is cruel. (and better for it)
violation at 0:43 💀
That roast on Whoopi was the best part haha
that ariana clip got me yo
brilliant
wait, snuck's a word. wtf was she thinking
edit: i didnt see the rest of the video. nice
That first one was funny though. I think some jokes should be left between you and your close friends. Some people, especially if you don't really know each other can feel offended by some comments.
I'll say it again. Confidence isn't something you just get for nothing. It's a feeling you get when you are competent at something. Become good at conversation, and you can feel confident about it. Pretending to be confident doesn't get you anywhere. Get it?
I notice people who do this all the time... what I think it is, is the people are oblivious... they are maladjusted in a way where they can't discern between charming banter and offputting comments. Being this way is pretty much a personality that is too common.