I guess a bit off the point of this video. Every word of Andrew’s observation is correct. I was walking this morning with my daughter’s dog while she and her husband are on vacation. They are blessed to have each other. I asked myself, do I feel blessed to be with a narc or not with one? As Andrew says, I had to go through it. It’s my journey. Is it a difficult one, yes. I then asked myself while letting the dog run wild on a deserted beach this question, if I were to write down everything that’s happened with me and my narc, would a sane confident mind allow this to continue? If I wrote down the past and included the future probabilities, would I choose this road? The answer is, hell no. Perhaps you feel the same way. Our light can’t burn bright if we are with a narc. How can it? If I am but a tool for someone else’s regulation disorder, that’s insane. The only way to handle it is as Andrew says: complete self care, the removal of the narc (the addiction), spiritual growth, and building my light so I can be a vibrant soul while here on this beautiful planet. This is the self talk that I repeat to myself while watching a beautiful Egret (amazing looking bird in flight) land in a salt marsh. I find that notebooks help. Writing down dreams daily tasks experienced etc helps so much with pushing through the emotions that come in like waves. I’ve learned how to surf them. But one thing is for sure- if my paper notebook says no then I don’t do it because I’m choosing to live in reality and not let those emotions decide my actions. That’s when trouble starts. I have to be strong. There’s no other way out..
@kevinpeasetennisprofession4905 You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I am both amazed and inspired by your honesty and insight. Wishing you a beautiful future! ♥️
Let’s also talk about jealousy when you could do something they couldn’t. They deflect and make it look irrelevant, quickly changing the subject or not paying attention to what you could do better than them. Nothing worse than having them less than you.
Andrew, the ambiance in the darkness with crickets and frogs and the crawling snakes in the shadows... what a perfect setting for the darkness of the narcissists secrets. Awesome!!
Andrew, you remind me of an Aztec warrior. Thank you for helping us to fight the war against narcissistic terrorists in this world. Thank you for helping to educate and empower us against this evil. Blessings to you, Andrew. With much gratitude, Lisa
All true. I spend my Money for food and clothes, furnitures, vacation, cars, taxes, presents, celebrations, bills …. and he took his to a the bank to saved it in secret accounts! This is just realized after I was a long time out. He always said he has no money left! I trusted him. Never knew he could be so full of secrets and lies!
I remember when the ex narc wife told me that she wanted to work and wanted me to stay home!! I asked her why and she said "i want to have someone to see when i get home"!!!! Now i know what she was really saying was "i want someone that i can abuse, isolate and dump all my toxicity on!!!! "
I find it extra fascinating that narcissists, as a collective, exhibit the same behaviors, styles, tricks, types of lies, and more, even down to certain words or phrases (verbiage) used. The word, "whirlwind" is a good example. It's so Borg, AI, off the assembly line, identical...weird.
I got it all, emotional abuse, physical abuse eventually came. Now, I’m wrapping up the financial abuse. Praying I sell before the foreclosure. I refuse to raise a narc. My children will not continue this pattern. I will make sure of that!!
Crazy making....All of a sudden comes together, they were seeing married people, singles, opposite sex, prostitutes, while pretending to be manauganous with me.
I think he is bisexual and he knows women confuse him as being one because of his close friendship with gay men but he denies it. He's lying to himself or thought he could get away with it.
I was so shocked. My body was shaking and trembling when I found out. Almost, three decades. But, he got worse as time went on. So so many secrets. Do empaths and narcs work in the same frequency? Or do they just seek empaths out and work us?? He told me I was a “Polly Anna”, I’m glad to be that, he was such a liar. Destroyed our family. Glad he is gone!! I pushed him away. ❤❤❤
They took us for fools. You gave ( in so many ways) and did not hang those "gifts" over their heads. You may have expected they were "quietly" tallying all that loving generosity. None of it was appreciated. How could they not see what you sacrificed? -They felt entitled and entitled to more. When secrets the Narc kept were uncovered by you, it was a dagger in the heart here and another dagger in the heart there! It's Good to leave these Narcs in the past.👍
He was always hiding something like a little boy who stole candy and tried to hide it, he would flinch for no reason if I touched him and it seemed like he always had something in his hand he was hiding from me....I got so tired of always trying to figure out who and what the hell I was with!! I'm getting to damn old to be dealing with that.
It’s not because they are capable of feeling guilty. They live in a closely guarded, sick, twisted, fear based illusion. In the past I was stressed out just from listening, watching the ex with the nonstop talking, moving. Lesson learned. Peace is Priceless 🙏
You are soo right. He freaked out when I finally figured it out!! I didn’t even know what a narc was until I started my healing process!! This is a good video. I’ll share it. Many need this!!
In a normal healthy and respectful relationship individuals are open, transparent, and disclose issues/problems to have discussion and solve in order to move forward. In the delusional world of a narcissist, withholding information, lying, keeping secrets and making it hard to discuss anything, is a way to dominate and have complete control over an individual.
Reciprocating independent relationships don't exist for narcissists. The narcissistic cycle Andrew talks about on here, and other's have spoken about it, understand...it's a form of codependency, it's a very toxic form of it because it's all take, everything comes with a price. The price is at the expense OF YOU, this is narcissism 101, they all do it. I'm seeing people say things like "you can't diagnose them, you aren't a psychologist!" Uhh. Yeah right, we have the information, you don't need a PhD to identify a narcissist, if you get close to them and they try to get you into the cycle, it's easy to spot them, you can see them do it to someone else as well if you really know what to look for. Many of us who been through and have received the information, can spot it. We survived it. It's no joke and does a lot of damage.
Thank you for your reply. I didn't realise these things either. Until out of the relationship and in hindsight. It's true that it's like being in a fog when you're in it. Hope you're okay and recovering with lots of support. Sending lots of good wishes for you and lots of healing energy 🙏
OMG, the secrets are horrendous when you realize the first 2 years of your relationship was a lie. You will never be able to hqve a real conversation aboit your needs and wants. You'll be called "selfish, insecure and jealous". But, they will come down on you for everything. Trust your intuition.
After the discard i had many light bulbs moments about that. Remembering things he said to me that didn't make sense. He always had an explanation for everything. So many times i had doubts and my intuition was right. He lied his way out of everything. Have a great afternoon Andrew ☺️🙌💜❤️
Any time I questioned the Narc, there was an overreaction with them getting upset. You erroneously learn to keep the peace by letting things slide. Now I see that overreaction as the Narc's fear and anxiety ( so expertly covered with their Mask) starting to ooze out and evidence of hairline cracks in the Mask. I can't unsee stuff or pretend something is not wrong with the picture anymore. Those days are over.
I didn’t plan it and I felt so guilty and sad for so long that the narc lost a home / shack by the creek and left with $30,000 debt. He declared bankruptcy I think. He discarded me too soon !! Before I got to pay all of his bills. I tried to sell my house to support us but it didn’t sell. So it backfired on him and I don’t feel guilty anymore because he spun me a pack of very cruel painful lies. 🙏🌺🌸💜🌈
It is true that when you heal properly the narcissist will mean nothing to you, just like a stranger, you will wish them well but stay away from me. Far away from me.
thankyou andrew for sharing this knowledge with us all.this is what all people should learn ,as early in life as possible.have a great weekend.namaste 🙏💯👍samuel
The biggest secret the narcissist keeps is that they actually are threatened by your light and are actually jealous of you ! That's why they have to constantly compete , because they feel very threatened . They have to act like EVERYTHING is about THEM , and your life comes in a very cheap SECOND ! I can recall telling them how frustrated I was that it was always about them ,...and what was their reaction ?? They just sat down , putting their head in their hands and mocked me by saying ' Okay then ,..come on ..., let's make it all about you then ?!!' 🤔🤨😂❤️
Key point there, i.e. they compete with you. It was horrible to see what was meant to be a partnership fall apart at the seams by her pitting herself against me. Horribly dishonest and a breach of the marital vows.
The secrets she keeps are like a knife, always hidden just out of sight, but the cuts run deep. With every lie, every conversation she thought I wouldn’t find, she carved away at the very core of what we built-or what I thought we built. It’s not just that she betrayed me, it’s that she manipulated me into trusting her again and again, using my vulnerability as her leverage. Each secret wasn’t just something she hid; it was a tool to gaslight, to control, to strip me of any sense of security. How many nights did I question myself, thinking I was crazy for doubting her? All while she was out there, keeping parts of her life in the shadows, knowing I’d never fully see the truth.
@@MaureenBonannoyes I believe that there is a demon of narcissism as per. Alobar Jones. There are strong patterns of similarities in what we experienced. 🙏🌺😅 I’m so grateful to this community 🌼
Yes You just very articulately described my experience. Thankyou I’m so sorry for the evil that prevails on our planet. Now eyes wide open to these so called humans. I’m allowing only gems into my life. They are few 🙏🌺🌸💜🌹🐈⬛🐈⬛ I include Lenny and Harry my two black cats as gems 🌈
Andrew , Amongst all the coach I take lessons from, you are so much on the spot. Everything you say reminds me of a moment I had with the narc. I remember the day he said to me: I am not a player, not me. What he meant was: I have a lot if mistresses besides you. What a fraud.... If you want to know the thruth, always think the reverse version of what they say, and there you are, THIS is the thruth. Thank you Andrew, I am still recovering, it has been 2 months since I left him.
31 years married to a narc. 16 years after divorce and healed. It takes time but know this. Your Divine given rights and recovery R ❤ yours. Don’t worry if you fall off the path just get back up, dust yourself off and ride. Many blessings, love and Light to all 🥰👍💗
G'day Andrew it's Vlad from Australia you have helped me heaps. I'm finally at peace because of many things..I hope you start to make new clips that are more positive, for you my friend, you've helped enough people now find peace,, take care Andrew. Don't let the narc rule your life..Thankyou again brother.
The narcissist is an actor & pro at deception. They have done this forever & are quick to their tricks. Their minds will never be laid out for you to read. Once a narc always a narc...and their secrets never wind up good. Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
Once identified, you can Never trust a Narcissist again. That would mean more work on your part if you ever gave them another chance ??? Who'd want to take on more work after being the passenger in the car wreck, driven by the Mad Narc?? Not me, Marie!👍
So strange how a narcissist rewrites the past. Their secrets aren't even true. A narcissist will always have their own version of reality that we cant read, or understand. Their favorite thing is to keep everyone around them lost in translation.... No going back😊 ❤
I went to a therapist a few years ago, and after listening to me, she exclaimed, “OMG you’ve never had any boundaries since your childhood, you just tried to please whomever you were around!” It woke me right up.
sleeping with the enemy is correct, 54 yrs with NarcHusband, now 2 months since he passed away. A Narc survivor, free at last but the Narc’s years of evilness run like a movie thru my mind. Am healing, (Andrew please do a series on healing) under going continued counseling…it will take time but I will get there.
Feel the same way. I know some day I'm not going to be as hyper vigilante and maybe over look a few red flags but those will raise my eyebrow and will definitely keep a good distance. Healing from a smear campaign turned me into a red flag. These kind of relationships are horror stories on so many levels. Deep deep introspection and you find out how fragile these relationships make you. How fragile your own ego becomes. Challenges your total reality. Who am I, what am I, and where even. Total reality meltdowns.
She had loads of secrets and I'll never find all of them out. But I found out the ones important to me. Some of them before I kicked her out and lots of them afterwards. Now she knows that I know but she doesn't know what or how much and that holds her back because she doesn't want to risk being exposed. She woke up my dark side(the one I don't like) and knows it's completely ruthless if you keep stirring it. I told her it was there but she never believed me since she never saw that side of me until she royally crossed every boundary I had.
It has been such a relief that I never knew the sister's and the brother's deep dark secrets that they kept to themselves. I'm very thankful that we have lived for many years in different towns. I only heard fragments of the brother's life over the years from his rare phone calls to my parents. The sister would come off and on to visit my mother, but there were no satisfying conversations. Very strange. Very creepy. Very thankful that I did not know the dark stuff inside them. I will never be where they see me ever again. I will never voice anything to them again. Money or time I lost to them does not matter. I know what they are. Tend to say "my" for the parents as I was close to them.
GOOD morning Andrew🍁💯🙏🇫🇷🐸🦗Night sounds!! Wow!! TO MY Narc/ sister, , I HAVE HEALED , from her twisted treatment when Our Brother died🙏🍁🌾SHE is in her bowl of Secrets!! I live in SHINING BRIGHT LIGHT world✨️✨️✨️✨️💯moving forward!! Always!! God Bless you too!!!
So many secrets.. found out a couple that began my plans to exit.. I’m sure there were so many more.. can’t even begin to fathom how one can live like that.. have a great evening.
I TOLD an x narc friend. I DON'T PRACTICE. LIES...imagine having to actually tell someone this,because in their heads you are a lier...I've never understood why people lie...
We went through long mysterious periods of poverty. At one point, there was no food for our (preschool) children and he refused to use “his” money for food. I told him we were too poor to stay together and the children and I would stay temporarily with friends until I settled things. I don’t like drama and I told him on the day we were leaving. He had the money immediately. The strangest thing is that I thought it was a mistake of some sort. I actually sunk so low that withholding food didn’t hit me with reality. The point isn’t just hiding money - I wondered where it went. He lived a double life but I think his secrets were bottomless. Maybe he had extraordinary costs due to crimes against others or lawsuits. If there’s a lesson, it’s they are not successful in their lives, no matter what their flying monkeys tell you. They will go on failing and blaming other people.
We'd never get to the bottom of them they live in a false reality,,a very dark place full of hate and have chosen the left hand path,,and theyre mission was to make us just like them,,t.y.Andrew.,Truths!!✨⛰️💖🙏💖strength to all Empaths,,☀️💪💪💪💖
Thank you Andrew once again! I'm sure I would be shocked at their secrets. I'm feeling so much better after a few months of being without them!!! Your inspiration is amazing! We all greatly appreciate it! Hope the hurricane in FL on Thursday evening does not impact you!
I was the scapegoat in a blended 10 person household from 6-13, stepmother was the narc, than when I got out of that situation one of my “friends” was a narc, smeared me to everyone, now I just discovered one of my other “friends” is a covert narc going through a collapse and keeps wanting to hang out, I’m going to get therapy because I attract them.
It seems that narcissism is always grabbing space. I am now completely isolated in a small village abroad with a few fellow countrymen, all with false identities, pretending that I am welcome in the beginning and now using me as a scapegoat. It is too big and too much for me and I received zero help, while this was promised when I bought it. And if I tell this, it is my fault for being too naive. Abuse is the norm.
Andrew's "Unpaid Helper" is what really got my brain clicking in the right Direction. Narc Free since July 27th! Thank You Andrew you really are correct when you say "You were supposed to never to figure them out".. People like me need to hear Andrew's catch phrases frequently. I could tell by the look on My Narcs face that he was wondering how I suddenly figured him out.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.” -Dr. Seuss 😽🎩🍳🥚💚🐷(Cat and the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham!!). Thanks Andrew, beautiful evening to you 🫶🫶
The narcissist will never tell anyone that they are a narcissist. That means anyone past and present.. that is the reason you should figure them out as soon as possible and get the education necessary.
After the discard you get to know more about the way that these narcissists have micromanaged their own lives. All about control to the nth degree. Although any normal person and an empath will have control and stability, we will also embrace the laissez-faire - as it should be I think. Not so for the narc, thus, when we show our flair, freedom and spontaneity (the fruits of life, I think) then it must make their heads spin. Let’s do it all the more, I say. Well that and NO CONTACT. Thank you, Andrew. Inspiring words. 🙏
Good evening Andrew.The warning signs were there from the very start.The ticks,the mannerisms,all of it.Being that empathetic soul that i was,i overlooked it.FELT I could help maybe change this man.WAS WARNED BY MANY NOT TO MARRY HIM...I LIVED 2REGRET IT.PURE EVIL,NASTY MAN🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏IF ONLY HE WOULD SIMPLY DISAPPEAR,TAKING HIS HORDES OF FLYING MONKEYS WITH HIM.DEEPEST RESPECT AND LOVE💌💌💌MY NEW BATTLE IS MY CANCER AND RELOCATION 🙏🙏🙏🙏💌💌💌💌🌺🌺
I should've known in the beginning when he didn't want to be courteous to let me know if he was leaving to go out. I don't care that he went out I just wanted to be let known. And he threw a big fit about that.
I understand what you mean the narc I had would go out alnight 14hrs once a month to partys with people she met at her work i was never asked at first it would be ..sorry was to drunk last night fell asleep in friends house then it went to not saying a word when she came home Take care much respect to you
I looked up,and across the parking lot, there she stood staring at me out of the corner of her eye, with a twisted and distorted expression on her face,I could smell the hate,her true demonic self
Can't stop crying listening to you as if im in this video expressing my experience.. each one of your videos resonates in my mind.. i can feel your pain .. don't know how you healed but for me it is not going to easy or atleast at this moment because of my 3 innocent kids..the guilt the shame for their miserable life is killing me inside out
From the bottom of my heart I thank you for these videos I watch everyday. I am learning alot about the situation I was in. I am in a much better place now and I don't have the stress and anxiety of having to put out all the fires the narcissist started. (I used to tell one of my family members that dealing with the narcissist is like waiting for the waves to settle down after a speed boat goes through the river.) I am back to my old happy self now and that's where I plan to stay.
Heal and do the best you can love yourself and keep your energies protected your right the narcissistic relationship having lots of secrets having lots of secrets is a house of cards eventually honesty triumphs even if it’s hard to face or confront.
Thanks greatly Andrew for this video. It’s the first time I see a video explaining about the Narc secrets because my narc sister always keeps her secrets and didn’t tell me so many things. One day I told her “ you lie and hide things all the time “ she answered” I don’t have the obligation to tell you anything about my life” … it was one side relationship. Now you Andrew confirm the last part of the puzzle thanks so much because this side of the narc is very painful. Now I am free zero contact. Does matter who they are, sister, mother, father, husband, wife etc. needs to be zero contact. My life is great now!!! God bless all!
So many secrets, health issues and she stole thousands from me then ghosted me when I asked for it back, I feel used, is this how much they don’t care about us?
They're very self entitled and they're opportunists,so un accountable ,,and often lie about health issues.,so we feel sorry for them ,,out to get anything from us,
I was helping her through dialysis and asked about giving my money back from her family as I had a financial emergency, I was just lied to the whole time, they don’t even care if im on the street if I couldn’t pay rent ! I’m so shocked and sad how much they didn’t care about me after I did everything for them and cared always!
She never cared about you in the first place the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on. Some times we literally are sleeping with the enemy it is not your fault live and learn🙂
Likng rhe night video! The narcissist is very much dull of secrets and bull poop (I don't curse but you know what I mean)! Post narcissist, the secrets conrinue to unfhold as you continue to educate yourself. Those dark secrets are definitely reason enough to never go back!
Good evening Andrew. Thank you for another great video. I ❤❤❤ the background, such a beautiful peaceful evening. Have a good night. Namaste. Bless you. ❤❤❤
I called it lies. But secrets fit better. I didn't look at it that way and now it's complete. Since my parents and sister are also narcissists, I search for truth. Why? Your video gives me the answer. And things continued like that in the marriage because I was shrouded in secrets. So terrible! Only, I realize that society is made up of lies, secrets and our attempts to understand the motives, intentions, why things happen the way they do. Today's video was very enlightening for me. Thanks!❤
After all the trauma I was put through, slowly got back together very slowly and painfully after 2 years, boom he comes back, with all the love bombing and everything now back to square 1 going through it all again!
I guess a bit off the point of this video. Every word of Andrew’s observation is correct. I was walking this morning with my daughter’s dog while she and her husband are on vacation. They are blessed to have each other. I asked myself, do I feel blessed to be with a narc or not with one? As Andrew says, I had to go through it. It’s my journey. Is it a difficult one, yes. I then asked myself while letting the dog run wild on a deserted beach this question, if I were to write down everything that’s happened with me and my narc, would a sane confident mind allow this to continue? If I wrote down the past and included the future probabilities, would I choose this road? The answer is, hell no. Perhaps you feel the same way. Our light can’t burn bright if we are with a narc. How can it? If I am but a tool for someone else’s regulation disorder, that’s insane. The only way to handle it is as Andrew says: complete self care, the removal of the narc (the addiction), spiritual growth, and building my light so I can be a vibrant soul while here on this beautiful planet. This is the self talk that I repeat to myself while watching a beautiful Egret (amazing looking bird in flight) land in a salt marsh. I find that notebooks help. Writing down dreams daily tasks experienced etc helps so much with pushing through the emotions that come in like waves. I’ve learned how to surf them. But one thing is for sure- if my paper notebook says no then I don’t do it because I’m choosing to live in reality and not let those emotions decide my actions. That’s when trouble starts. I have to be strong. There’s no other way out..
Beautiful message of growth and clarity..🐶🌊📝💜🙏⛰️
Thank you. So well thought out and stated.
Going forward, always be wary of LDR romance scammers =)
@kevinpeasetennisprofession4905 You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I am both amazed and inspired by your honesty and insight. Wishing you a beautiful future! ♥️
Excellent
Let’s also talk about jealousy when you could do something they couldn’t. They deflect and make it look irrelevant, quickly changing the subject or not paying attention to what you could do better than them. Nothing worse than having them less than you.
😌😌
Oh yes , their often sickly yalous
Andrew, the ambiance in the darkness with crickets and frogs and the crawling snakes in the shadows... what a perfect setting for the darkness of the narcissists secrets. Awesome!!
👀🌲🤭
@@theclanofone Agree! Definitely! 💯💯💯🤭🤭🤭
Yes. So apt. Lies and secrets in the cloak of darkness...
Yes I agree...so appropriate. 🕷️🐍🌕🌑
Andrew, you remind me of an Aztec warrior.
Thank you for helping us to fight the war against narcissistic terrorists in this world.
Thank you for helping to educate and empower us against this evil.
Blessings to you, Andrew.
With much gratitude,
Lisa
Yes, Aztec warrior!
@@Candy-O1776
Agreed...thanks for the thought...I hadnt thought"warrior"...just STRONG❤
Narcissist feed off of Suffering and Pain...
😌😌
All true.
I spend my Money for food and clothes, furnitures, vacation, cars, taxes, presents, celebrations, bills …. and he took his to a the bank to saved it in secret accounts! This is just realized after I was a long time out. He always said he has no money left! I trusted him.
Never knew he could be so full of secrets and lies!
I remember when the ex narc wife told me that she wanted to work and wanted me to stay home!! I asked her why and she said "i want to have someone to see when i get home"!!!! Now i know what she was really saying was "i want someone that i can abuse, isolate and dump all my toxicity on!!!! "
I find it extra fascinating that narcissists, as a collective, exhibit the same behaviors, styles, tricks, types of lies, and more, even down to certain words or phrases (verbiage) used. The word, "whirlwind" is a good example. It's so Borg, AI, off the assembly line, identical...weird.
Same demonic spirits.
Absolutely, they are like something of an assembly line, all identical and all demonic.
Thank you Andrew!
😊🙏
I got it all, emotional abuse, physical abuse eventually came. Now, I’m wrapping up the financial abuse. Praying I sell before the foreclosure. I refuse to raise a narc. My children will not continue this pattern. I will make sure of that!!
😌😌💜
Gopd luck 🙏👍
If we lived for a 1000 (thousand years) we would still not know all of the secrets they kept from us. Period. Blessings to all!❤
😌🙏💜
You share yours they exploit them and never tell you theirs. My laundry is always out to dry theirs cant be found. 😂
Crazy making....All of a sudden comes together, they were seeing married people, singles, opposite sex, prostitutes, while pretending to be manauganous with me.
Oof 💔
I think he is bisexual and he knows women confuse him as being one because of his close friendship with gay men but he denies it. He's lying to himself or thought he could get away with it.
I'm so SORRY 😓
I was so shocked. My body was shaking and trembling when I found out. Almost, three decades. But, he got worse as time went on. So so many secrets. Do empaths and narcs work in the same frequency? Or do they just seek empaths out and work us?? He told me I was a “Polly Anna”, I’m glad to be that, he was such a liar. Destroyed our family. Glad he is gone!! I pushed him away. ❤❤❤
😌😌💜🙏
They are takers and look for givers. Mine used things like that as a manipulation tactic to extract more (resources) out of me.
They took us for fools. You gave ( in so many ways) and did not hang those "gifts" over their heads. You may have expected they were "quietly" tallying all that loving generosity. None of it was appreciated. How could they not see what you sacrificed? -They felt entitled and entitled to more. When secrets the Narc kept were uncovered by you, it was a dagger in the heart here and another dagger in the heart there! It's Good to leave these Narcs in the past.👍
Great to leave those narcs in the past.....😊😊😊😊
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
That's when your real life begins.
😊✌
That's where they belong 👍💥❤☕
He was always hiding something like a little boy who stole candy and tried to hide it, he would flinch for no reason if I touched him and it seemed like he always had something in his hand he was hiding from me....I got so tired of always trying to figure out who and what the hell I was with!! I'm getting to damn old to be dealing with that.
😌😌💯
It’s not because they are capable of feeling guilty. They live in a closely guarded, sick, twisted, fear based illusion. In the past I was stressed out just from listening, watching the ex with the nonstop talking, moving. Lesson learned. Peace is Priceless 🙏
OMG me too, it was awful 😢
You are soo right. He freaked out when I finally figured it out!! I didn’t even know what a narc was until I started my healing process!! This is a good video. I’ll share it. Many need this!!
😌😌💜
In a normal healthy and respectful relationship individuals are open, transparent, and disclose issues/problems to have discussion and solve in order to move forward.
In the delusional world of a narcissist, withholding information, lying, keeping secrets and making it hard to discuss anything, is a way to dominate and have complete control over an individual.
Well said. Thanks.
Reciprocating independent relationships don't exist for narcissists. The narcissistic cycle Andrew talks about on here, and other's have spoken about it, understand...it's a form of codependency, it's a very toxic form of it because it's all take, everything comes with a price. The price is at the expense OF YOU, this is narcissism 101, they all do it. I'm seeing people say things like "you can't diagnose them, you aren't a psychologist!" Uhh. Yeah right, we have the information, you don't need a PhD to identify a narcissist, if you get close to them and they try to get you into the cycle, it's easy to spot them, you can see them do it to someone else as well if you really know what to look for. Many of us who been through and have received the information, can spot it. We survived it. It's no joke and does a lot of damage.
True, although there were things I didn't realise and could not have said to my covert narc ex, which is what made me the grand enabler I was.
Thank you for your reply. I didn't realise these things either. Until out of the relationship and in hindsight. It's true that it's like being in a fog when you're in it. Hope you're okay and recovering with lots of support. Sending lots of good wishes for you and lots of healing energy 🙏
@@kathleencondit1660
Thank you Kathleen. Lots of good wishes and energy coming your way!
OMG, the secrets are horrendous when you realize the first 2 years of your relationship was a lie. You will never be able to hqve a real conversation aboit your needs and wants. You'll be called "selfish, insecure and jealous". But, they will come down on you for everything. Trust your intuition.
After the discard i had many light bulbs moments about that. Remembering things he said to me that didn't make sense. He always had an explanation for everything. So many times i had doubts and my intuition was right. He lied his way out of everything. Have a great afternoon Andrew ☺️🙌💜❤️
They have an excuse for everything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless...😎
Yes they contradict themselves ,tell us a different story.lie and deceive all the time and blame others or play the victim,,
Thank God,,a lier is a thief.
Any time I questioned the Narc, there was an overreaction with them getting upset. You erroneously learn to keep the peace by letting things slide. Now I see that overreaction as
the Narc's fear and anxiety ( so expertly covered with their Mask) starting to ooze out and
evidence of hairline cracks in the Mask. I can't unsee stuff or pretend something is not wrong with the picture anymore. Those days are over.
Same here
Excellent 🎯🎯🎯 Nailed it. Also, in our case, the Financial Abuse was SO SEVERE!!! Basically Forced Poverty 💯💯💯 IT was EXTREME. Hiding money, no-access financial accounts, lies, breadcrumbs of money in SMALL Increments, etc OMG it was/is DIABOLICAL. HORRENDOUS.We still haven't recovered financially it was so devastating 🎯🎯🎯🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯©️
Thank you..🙏💜😌
I didn’t plan it and I felt so guilty and sad for so long that the narc lost a home / shack by the creek and left with $30,000 debt. He declared bankruptcy I think. He discarded me too soon !! Before I got to pay all of his bills. I tried to sell my house to support us but it didn’t sell. So it backfired on him and I don’t feel guilty anymore because he spun me a pack of very cruel painful lies. 🙏🌺🌸💜🌈
Still healing, with Gods help, the lies were painful, so glad there is a light at the end of all this. Amen
It is true that when you heal properly the narcissist will mean nothing to you, just like a stranger, you will wish them well but stay away from me. Far away from me.
thankyou andrew for sharing this knowledge with us all.this is what all people should learn ,as early in life as possible.have a great weekend.namaste 🙏💯👍samuel
RIGHT ON ! Thank you Andrew..
you have helped so much, I listen to you everyday!
Welcome..💜🙏🙌
Kisses and hugs 🕊🌈🐑😇Thanks Andrew 👌
The biggest secret the narcissist keeps is that they actually are threatened by your light and are actually jealous of you ! That's why they have to constantly compete , because they feel very threatened . They have to act like EVERYTHING is about THEM , and your life comes in a very cheap SECOND ! I can recall telling them how frustrated I was that it was always about them ,...and what was their reaction ?? They just sat down , putting their head in their hands and mocked me by saying ' Okay then ,..come on ..., let's make it all about you then ?!!' 🤔🤨😂❤️
That was me with the x narc bestee of 35 years. ITS ALL ABOUT YOU, I would tell her..well it's all about her now, MINUS- ME
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik Love that 😆👌❤️
Key point there, i.e. they compete with you. It was horrible to see what was meant to be a partnership fall apart at the seams by her pitting herself against me. Horribly dishonest and a breach of the marital vows.
@@Seanus32 Totally 👍
Silence is golden and validating myself and making my own decisions. Everything you say is true.
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The secrets she keeps are like a knife, always hidden just out of sight, but the cuts run deep. With every lie, every conversation she thought I wouldn’t find, she carved away at the very core of what we built-or what I thought we built. It’s not just that she betrayed me, it’s that she manipulated me into trusting her again and again, using my vulnerability as her leverage. Each secret wasn’t just something she hid; it was a tool to gaslight, to control, to strip me of any sense of security. How many nights did I question myself, thinking I was crazy for doubting her? All while she was out there, keeping parts of her life in the shadows, knowing I’d never fully see the truth.
I am so sorry you suffered I can relate to all of it
You just voiced a healthy summary of a horror story. Take good care of yourself.
At the bottom of it I believe is a demonic spirit!
@@MaureenBonannoyes I believe that there is a demon of narcissism as per. Alobar Jones. There are strong patterns of similarities in what we experienced. 🙏🌺😅
I’m so grateful to this community 🌼
Yes
You just very articulately described my experience. Thankyou
I’m so sorry for the evil that prevails on our planet. Now eyes wide open to these so called humans. I’m allowing only gems into my life. They are few 🙏🌺🌸💜🌹🐈⬛🐈⬛
I include Lenny and Harry my two black cats as gems 🌈
Andrew , Amongst all the coach I take lessons from, you are so much on the spot. Everything you say reminds me of a moment I had with the narc.
I remember the day he said to me: I am not a player, not me. What he meant was: I have a lot if mistresses besides you. What a fraud....
If you want to know the thruth, always think the reverse version of what they say, and there you are, THIS is the thruth. Thank you Andrew, I am
still recovering, it has been 2 months since I left him.
How many years were you together?
31 years married to a narc. 16 years after divorce and healed. It takes time but know this. Your Divine given rights and recovery R ❤ yours. Don’t worry if you fall off the path just get back up, dust yourself off and ride. Many blessings, love and Light to all 🥰👍💗
G'day Andrew it's Vlad from Australia you have helped me heaps. I'm finally at peace because of many things..I hope you start to make new clips that are more positive, for you my friend, you've helped enough people now find peace,, take care Andrew. Don't let the narc rule your life..Thankyou again brother.
Welcome..💜🙏🇦🇺
The narcissist is an actor & pro at deception. They have done this forever & are quick to their tricks. Their minds will never be laid out for you to read. Once a narc always a narc...and their secrets never wind up good.
Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
Once identified, you can Never trust a Narcissist again. That would mean more work on your part if you ever gave them another chance ??? Who'd want to take on more work after being the passenger in the car wreck, driven by the Mad Narc?? Not me, Marie!👍
@JhavaJoe2-m1z
I believe that Joe....not an inch open to them. Never, ever again!
We now know the price & the pain. 👍💥✌❤☕
So strange how a narcissist rewrites the past. Their secrets aren't even true. A narcissist will always have their own version of reality that we cant read, or understand. Their favorite thing is to keep everyone around them lost in translation.... No going back😊
❤
Great video Andrew!!!!
Sending love and strength to everyone uncovering the lies of the narcissist.
Keep moving forward.
😊❤
👍👍👍👍👍💪
Hi Chaz...saw a sign that said....
Don't look back, your not going that way!
Have a nice evening 💥🙏❤
@@marieeakin8534 we for sure are not going that way....❤❤😊
@@JHavaJoe2-m1z😊
@@JHavaJoe2-m1z😊
Keep your boundaries high❤
I went to a therapist a few years ago, and after listening to me, she exclaimed, “OMG you’ve never had any boundaries since your childhood, you just tried to please whomever you were around!” It woke me right up.
100 per cent Andrew !! That’s exactly what they want to do . They live in black holes and they want drag you in to never get out .
sleeping with the enemy is correct, 54 yrs with NarcHusband, now 2 months since he passed away. A Narc survivor, free at last but the Narc’s years of evilness run like a movie thru my mind. Am healing, (Andrew please do a series on healing) under going continued counseling…it will take time but I will get there.
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My whole story.
Caught off guard.
The rug pulled from under me. OMG!
Hello Andrew and community. Be wise ! Be aware ! Keep healing !
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I Will Never Allow It To Happen Again, 1st Red Flag Game Over.
✍️ 💓 you Love . thank Andy . 👍✌️🤞 : first,next and third. I keep remembering the steps . 🙄
Feel the same way. I know some day I'm not going to be as hyper vigilante and maybe over look a few red flags but those will raise my eyebrow and will definitely keep a good distance. Healing from a smear campaign turned me into a red flag. These kind of relationships are horror stories on so many levels. Deep deep introspection and you find out how fragile these relationships make you. How fragile your own ego becomes. Challenges your total reality. Who am I, what am I, and where even. Total reality meltdowns.
Vile and cruel people, that enjoy humiliating and hurting other people while being Users….. Just disgusting.
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Thank you, Andrew! Stay safe during the storm!
Love the sound of the crickets. Very soothing 😌 ❤
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She had loads of secrets and I'll never find all of them out. But I found out the ones important to me. Some of them before I kicked her out and lots of them afterwards. Now she knows that I know but she doesn't know what or how much and that holds her back because she doesn't want to risk being exposed. She woke up my dark side(the one I don't like) and knows it's completely ruthless if you keep stirring it.
I told her it was there but she never believed me since she never saw that side of me until she royally crossed every boundary I had.
Crickets and frogs, I heard those guys too! 😄 Love it! 💜
Ooh Andrew is in the dark talking about secrets ‼️👏🏽❤
All those blown up relationships 😂 .. Andrew thanks so much for the well articulated humor
It has been such a relief that I never knew the sister's and the brother's deep dark secrets that they kept to themselves. I'm very thankful that we have lived for many years in different towns. I only heard fragments of the brother's life over the years from his rare phone calls to my parents. The sister would come off and on to visit my mother, but there were no satisfying conversations. Very strange. Very creepy. Very thankful that I did not know the dark stuff inside them. I will never be where they see me ever again. I will never voice anything to them again. Money or time I lost to them does not matter. I know what they are. Tend to say "my" for the parents as I was close to them.
It has taken me years to unravel the confusing web of lies I was given. This channel is helping a lot. Thankyou Andrew 🙏🌺🌸💜😅
Welcome..🙏💜😌
GOOD morning Andrew🍁💯🙏🇫🇷🐸🦗Night sounds!! Wow!! TO MY Narc/ sister, , I HAVE HEALED , from her twisted treatment when Our Brother died🙏🍁🌾SHE is in her bowl of Secrets!! I live in SHINING BRIGHT LIGHT world✨️✨️✨️✨️💯moving forward!! Always!! God Bless you too!!!
So many secrets.. found out a couple that began my plans to exit.. I’m sure there were so many more.. can’t even begin to fathom how one can live like that.. have a great evening.
I TOLD an x narc friend. I DON'T PRACTICE. LIES...imagine having to actually tell someone this,because in their heads you are a lier...I've never understood why people lie...
We went through long mysterious periods of poverty. At one point, there was no food for our (preschool) children and he refused to use “his” money for food. I told him we were too poor to stay together and the children and I would stay temporarily with friends until I settled things. I don’t like drama and I told him on the day we were leaving.
He had the money immediately. The strangest thing is that I thought it was a mistake of some sort. I actually sunk so low that withholding food didn’t hit me with reality.
The point isn’t just hiding money - I wondered where it went. He lived a double life but I think his secrets were bottomless. Maybe he had extraordinary costs due to crimes against others or lawsuits.
If there’s a lesson, it’s they are not successful in their lives, no matter what their flying monkeys tell you. They will go on failing and blaming other people.
Light bulb moment...... set up a string of enlightening realizations making it easy to reframe and refrain.
💡💡💜🙏
We'd never get to the bottom of them they live in a false reality,,a very dark place full of hate and have chosen the left hand path,,and theyre mission was to make us just like them,,t.y.Andrew.,Truths!!✨⛰️💖🙏💖strength to all Empaths,,☀️💪💪💪💖
Wonderful, powerful video, thank you. Stay safe down there with the weather. Yes, please do a video on the stages of healing.
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So glad I found your channel, knowing the warning signs helps so much, DISCARDED him😆😆😆
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@@motowngirl5891 well done !!👏👏👏👏🌼💜🌸🌺🙏
Thank you Andrew once again! I'm sure I would be shocked at their secrets. I'm feeling so much better after a few months of being without them!!! Your inspiration is amazing! We all greatly appreciate it! Hope the hurricane in FL on Thursday evening does not impact you!
Very intense message !! Its great i love it !
Thank you..🙏💜😌
🎭 😢 always speak the truth Andrew hugs to all from Ireland 🇮🇪
OMG, YES 🤢🤮🤮🤮 I'm REELING from finding out what the man I was involved with was doing behind my back. I feel like I'm DYING 😫
I was the scapegoat in a blended 10 person household from 6-13, stepmother was the narc, than when I got out of that situation one of my “friends” was a narc, smeared me to everyone, now I just discovered one of my other “friends” is a covert narc going through a collapse and keeps wanting to hang out, I’m going to get therapy because I attract them.
Mr Andrew you're amazing thank you so much ❤
Welcome..🙏💜😌
It seems that narcissism is always grabbing space. I am now completely isolated in a small village abroad with a few fellow countrymen, all with false identities, pretending that I am welcome in the beginning and now using me as a scapegoat. It is too big and too much for me and I received zero help, while this was promised when I bought it. And if I tell this, it is my fault for being too naive. Abuse is the norm.
love 'cesspool of manipulation'!
Spot on Andrew 🙏 I lived this as well, sadly I was legally married to this complete LIE. Such Cowards
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"..from the beautiful cricket filled Carolinas" 🙃🙂
Love your peaceful night video. Filled with truth. Thank you Andrew. God bless you ☀️
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Andrew's "Unpaid Helper" is what really got my brain clicking in the right Direction. Narc Free since July 27th! Thank You Andrew you really are correct when you say "You were supposed to never to figure them out".. People like me need to hear Andrew's catch phrases frequently. I could tell by the look on My Narcs face that he was wondering how I suddenly figured him out.
August 16 th for me. Similar story. Glad we all got out.
Andrew, ever thought of doing a book on Narcissists and survival? Thank you for your videos, your continued information is needed. I’m still healing…❤
Welcome..💯💯📝💜😊⛰️
Thanks mate 👍🏻
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.” -Dr. Seuss 😽🎩🍳🥚💚🐷(Cat and the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham!!). Thanks Andrew, beautiful evening to you 🫶🫶
Welcome..😌💜🙏
Andrew, your just told my story!
Thank you Andrew, thank you, thank you
Thank you for your daily videos Andrew ❤ 🎉
13:00 here comes the narcissist chopppa! 😆 just when talking about trophies and I was thinking of Predator the movie, too 😂.
👀😊🤭
They are predators, yes. Really nasty hunters. It's important to monitor your regulation and how you are moving forward.
The narcissist will never tell anyone that they are a narcissist. That means anyone past and present.. that is the reason you should figure them out as soon as possible and get the education necessary.
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They won’t tell you but if your educated they will tell you.
Wow!! ❤you do know what you are talking about! Thank you! This helping so much.
Yes andrew you have hit the nail on the head!❤😮😮😮
these videos have been very enlightening
After the discard you get to know more about the way that these narcissists have micromanaged their own lives. All about control to the nth degree. Although any normal person and an empath will have control and stability, we will also embrace the laissez-faire - as it should be I think. Not so for the narc, thus, when we show our flair, freedom and spontaneity (the fruits of life, I think) then it must make their heads spin. Let’s do it all the more, I say. Well that and NO CONTACT. Thank you, Andrew. Inspiring words. 🙏
"Whatever precious jewel there is in the heavenly worlds, there is nothing comparable to one who is Awakened."
Siddhartha Gautama
The Buddhist
❣️
Good evening Andrew.The warning signs were there from the very start.The ticks,the mannerisms,all of it.Being that empathetic soul that i was,i overlooked it.FELT I could help maybe change this man.WAS WARNED BY MANY NOT TO MARRY HIM...I LIVED 2REGRET IT.PURE EVIL,NASTY MAN🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏IF ONLY HE WOULD SIMPLY DISAPPEAR,TAKING HIS HORDES OF FLYING MONKEYS WITH HIM.DEEPEST RESPECT AND LOVE💌💌💌MY NEW BATTLE IS MY CANCER AND RELOCATION 🙏🙏🙏🙏💌💌💌💌🌺🌺
Sending love prayers and encouragement,God's Promises psalm 91,,,💖💖💖💖🙏🕯️🙏
RELOCATE GO ON A COMPLETELY FOOD BASED DIET..ITS ON YOU TUBE, BEAT CANCER...
I wish you all the best and hope it all works out for you
Take good care of yourself, so there is less stress in your life. Wishing you healing and finding a new place.
@@Mylife90S lots of love to you 🙏👏🌺🌸
I should've known in the beginning when he didn't want to be courteous to let me know if he was leaving to go out. I don't care that he went out I just wanted to be let known. And he threw a big fit about that.
I understand what you mean the narc I had would go out alnight 14hrs once a month to partys with people she met at her work i was never asked at first it would be ..sorry was to drunk last night fell asleep in friends house then it went to not saying a word when she came home
Take care much respect to you
Sleeping with the enemy was the moment I realized I needed to escape after 6 dumb years
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I looked up,and across the parking lot, there she stood staring at me out of the corner of her eye, with a twisted and distorted expression on her face,I could smell the hate,her true demonic self
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It's a crazy cycle.
Thank you Andrew 🩵
Can't stop crying listening to you as if im in this video expressing my experience.. each one of your videos resonates in my mind.. i can feel your pain .. don't know how you healed but for me it is not going to easy or atleast at this moment because of my 3 innocent kids..the guilt the shame for their miserable life is killing me inside out
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Yesssss Andrew🌺 MB
From the bottom of my heart I thank you for these videos I watch everyday. I am learning alot about the situation I was in. I am in a much better place now and I don't have the stress and anxiety of having to put out all the fires the narcissist started. (I used to tell one of my family members that dealing with the narcissist is like waiting for the waves to settle down after a speed boat goes through the river.) I am back to my old happy self now and that's where I plan to stay.
love hearing the frogs i don’t like crickets that much 😅
Very thing is a secret
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These things go on.
Very true 👿 everything you said. Thank you another beautiful video and God bless 🙏
Welcome..💜🙏😌
Heal and do the best you can love yourself and keep your energies protected your right the narcissistic relationship having lots of secrets having lots of secrets is a house of cards eventually honesty triumphs even if it’s hard to face or confront.
Thanks greatly Andrew for this video. It’s the first time I see a video explaining about the Narc secrets because my narc sister always keeps her secrets and didn’t tell me so many things. One day I told her “ you lie and hide things all the time “ she answered” I don’t have the obligation to tell you anything about my life” … it was one side relationship. Now you Andrew confirm the last part of the puzzle thanks so much because this side of the narc is very painful. Now I am free zero contact. Does matter who they are, sister, mother, father, husband, wife etc. needs to be zero contact. My life is great now!!! God bless all!
So many secrets, health issues and she stole thousands from me then ghosted me when I asked for it back, I feel used, is this how much they don’t care about us?
They're very self entitled and they're opportunists,so un accountable ,,and often lie about health issues.,so we feel sorry for them ,,out to get anything from us,
I was helping her through dialysis and asked about giving my money back from her family as I had a financial emergency, I was just lied to the whole time, they don’t even care if im on the street if I couldn’t pay rent ! I’m so shocked and sad how much they didn’t care about me after I did everything for them and cared always!
That's right..
@@unclefracker3273sending prayers for strength and healing. I’m so sorry you went through that.
She never cared about you in the first place the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on. Some times we literally are sleeping with the enemy it is not your fault live and learn🙂
Likng rhe night video! The narcissist is very much dull of secrets and bull poop (I don't curse but you know what I mean)! Post narcissist, the secrets conrinue to unfhold as you continue to educate yourself. Those dark secrets are definitely reason enough to never go back!
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Sorry for the typos
I had to take baby steps and retract like a turtle for many years. This turtle will take some time still yet the summit is in reach. 0 contact.
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Good evening Andrew. Thank you for another great video. I ❤❤❤ the background, such a beautiful peaceful evening. Have a good night. Namaste. Bless you. ❤❤❤
I called it lies. But secrets fit better. I didn't look at it that way and now it's complete. Since my parents and sister are also narcissists, I search for truth. Why? Your video gives me the answer. And things continued like that in the marriage because I was shrouded in secrets. So terrible! Only, I realize that society is made up of lies, secrets and our attempts to understand the motives, intentions, why things happen the way they do. Today's video was very enlightening for me. Thanks!❤
After all the trauma I was put through, slowly got back together very slowly and painfully after 2 years, boom he comes back, with all the love bombing and everything now back to square 1 going through it all again!
NEVER LET THEM EVEN HEAR you voice, don’t you get it, they faked the entire relationship