Im doing a lot of reading and research at the moment as I’m going through a divorce. A lot of these insights( like this video) applying both ways - so from this video we , as men, are also under pressure to provide / protect/ be emotionally available from the roles put upon us- we as men also have to flip flop roles to meet our partner’s expectations. In this video the best message was men need to suppress emotions, remain strong, but it leaves our capacity bucket full, when we can take no more, breakdown and suicidal thoughts are higher in men because we don’t ‘vent’ at our partners ( generally)
mens emotional suppression is self-preservation, as my 3 boys went through puberyt it was my job to teach them how to handle their emotions, I have always described it as: Suppress and ignore your first emotional response and wait for the second - because when you are riding high on testosterone your first response is to be violent. Prisons are full of men who never learned to suppress their first response.
No, sorry but being emotional is no excuse for acting crazy and having no integrity. I don't mind a womans emotions but when she starts to lash out and attack the men in her life justified by her emotions, telling lies, making accusations because she feels hurt inside there is zero tolerance for that. The #1 way men go to jail is because of toxic crazy emotional women. Its just not worth it.
Hello Rachael, according to various studies, the most common causes of divorce: 1. Lack of commitment 2. Infidelity or extramarital affairs 3. Too much conflict and arguing 4. Lack of physical intimacy Since # 2 is non negotiable. How do you bridge the gap #1, 3, & 4? What triggers her to be emotional out of 1, 3, & 4? This is complex. How do you negotiate lack of commitment? It takes the two parties to have a common goal. If she is not committed, then you cannot force her.
This was incredible insight rachael. I'm wondering do you have a reading list for men to learn more about these dynamics? I think it would be incredibly helpful for myself and other men that just want to understand.
Basically, you never know what they think, feel or wether you are being manipulated...btw...aren't we all equal? Why don't we get educated on this when we are young ?
You didn't talk about imbalances in our hormones. I would recommend Dr John Gray videos to these couples. It's caused by a hormone imbalance due to the fact that we are too far on the opposite side today. Women are too far on their male side, men are too far on their female side. This messes up hormones. For women to get back on their soft feminine side, it takes time and communication. Dr John Gray's Beyond Mars and Venus book and podcasts discuss biological reasons and science for what is happening. Please look him up. 🙏🌷
True 14:00 Open dialog between men and women can be a good start. But always remember you got 1st work on yourself before you try to "fux" your partner
You're absolutely right-open dialogue is crucial for improving relationships, but it all starts with working on yourself first. When both partners are committed to their own personal growth, it creates a healthier foundation for communication and understanding. In relationships, we can sometimes get caught up in trying to fix or change our partner, but the true transformation begins when we focus on understanding our own emotions, triggers, and behaviors. Once we take responsibility for our own growth, we naturally create space for more empathy and connection in the relationship. If you're looking for tools and strategies to strengthen your relationship or navigate the complexities of emotional volatility, I’d love for you to join my free masterclass. It will help you take those first steps toward healing and growth: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register. Working on yourself is the most powerful way to improve not only your relationships but your life as a whole! 💡
Emotional maturity (E.Q.) Emotional Quotient is a psychological state that differs from person to person based on ones upbringing, development and environmental adaptations you applied over your earlier formidable development stages of your life but generally men are more stable, rational and self regulating in comparison to women however this doesn't negate the fact that some grown men can act like 6 year boys, "throwing their toys out of their cots". If you work on yourself rather than trying to fix and repair spouse, you can then help them address their deep-rooted vulnerabilities, insecurities, fears, etc. A Stoic and Biblical approach to help you navigate these challenges is a good solid foundation to work from.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and insightful perspective. Emotional maturity is indeed a key factor in navigating relationships, and you’re right-both men and women have unique ways of processing emotions and vulnerabilities. Focusing on self-work is essential for any type of personal growth and healing, and it sets a strong foundation for addressing deeper issues in relationships. I completely agree that working on ourselves first empowers us to better understand and support our partners, while also addressing our own insecurities. The Stoic and Biblical approaches you mentioned can certainly provide great tools for this journey. If you’re looking for more support in this area, I’d love to invite you to my free masterclass. It’s designed to help individuals build emotional resilience, find clarity, and improve their relationships, especially after major life changes like divorce. You can sign up here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register Thanks again for contributing to the conversation! 💙
I feel for you. I've watched probably 15-20 of your videos since my situation started a few weeks back. EVERY comment sections has a contingency of men who just want to hear what they want to hear (women are crazy, lying, cheating, etc). These videos are really helping me be empathetic throughout the process and led me to taking the high road way more than I could have done alone.
Thank you for this kind comment, and for watching. I'm really glad the videos have been helpful for you. There are a lot of aggressive comments, but I get it. These men are in a lot of pain, and experiencing incredible amounts of fear. Pain and fear put us into fight/flight, which changes the way our brains process information. Those comments used to bother me, but now I just see a human who is in agony, trying to find relief somewhere. It is so heartbreaking, and I am grateful that I do get to see so much healing happen in my work. I know it is possible, even for the most angry commentors. Thank you again for watching and writing. If you want to go even deeper into this work, I have a free Masterclass that will give you even more insight into how the emotional brain (yours and hers) works and how to use that knowledge to feel better and build better relationships. You can find it here if you're interested: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach, we, for the most part, are not in emotional agony. We are in realization. I know you are trying to help. But you are simply excusing bad behavior on the part of women. Imagine a man having an emotional outburst and slapping his wife. Nobody is going to say try to understand his feelings etcetera. They are going to say get your emotions and behavior under control. Why don't any of you so called coaches say this?
Yea, I don't know how long I have been watching your videos, but this is top 3 for sure. On a prior video I suggested that the video was supposed to be trying to humanizing women, but failed. This actually did accomplish humanizing women in a way that is understandable and relatable.
I have no doubt that all of this is accurate, but I just can't handle it. As a guy in my twenties and thirties, I used to think that I was just bad at picking women. As a guy at my late forties now, I have come to realize that the women I have shared.My life with were not all crazy, they were just women, and I don't really like women outside of short term relationships. The stress they bring to my life just isn't worth it anymore. Add to this, age appropriate women for guys like myself are at their crazy peak just before menopause. The PMS a lot of women start to experience in their 40's is more intense and lasts twice as long as it does in their 20's and 30's. I mean, who wants to cohabitate with someone that could go off like a nuclear bomb ten days out of a month. You really have to love a woman to be able to deal with that, and that type of love is not something i've been capable of since my twenties. I'm good with being single and just having a booty call. When I get too old to pull women, I'll probably just pay for it. 😅
We want respect. It's not all about you being a hero and saving us, even though that is very much appreciated. You see, we actually think and know quite a lot. But if we show you something you don't know, you want to destroy us. Oh, and we don't like to be called crazy, because that means that anything we said before or after that gets noise-cancelling. However, it is understandable that you are probably here watching this video because the one you are in love with is very beautiful.
@@agreetodisagree4751 You are correct..Men want a loyal woman who can support herself financially and can have a strong sexual connection (true attraction). Women are wayyyyyy more complicated!
Can't just paint a whole group of people with a broad brush like that 😅 . That statement is probably true of some, not all. Plus, it definitely applies to me at times, and I'm male.
@@agreetodisagree4751seems like another weird way of “might makes right”. Strength equals smarter, strength equals more risk-more reward (sometimes), strength equals bending others to your will in one way or another. It’s sucks but it’s how it is and how it will always be
From an evolutionary perspective, this is what's complex. The "craze" would let people walk away are reduce the chance of survival, but such emotion has remained (unlike tails) throughout thousands of generations. This is another proof, among many others, that humans were created by imperfect beings.
Umm… being heartless is not the same as being rational, Rachel. Being unreasonably heartless and cruel and cold is as much a sign of lack or emotional control as all the other signs.
I’m really impressed by the few comments of men who seem to WANT to understand. Of course there’s always the defeated hurt person who wants to throw up negativity on even the most basic of information.
It is not about understanding but dealing with or accepting the way it probably will be... unicorns don't exist as we are being told in the manosphere nevertheless I have seen a few exceptions...
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to remember that emotional volatility, whether in relationships or workplaces, often stems from a variety of underlying factors, such as stress, unaddressed emotions, or unresolved issues. While it’s easy to generalize, each person-regardless of gender-can experience emotional challenges. Growth and self-awareness are key to overcoming these challenges. If you're interested in learning more about emotional regulation and how to approach relationships with understanding and clarity, I’d love to invite you to my free masterclass. It's designed to offer tools and strategies to help navigate emotional dynamics and build healthier relationships. You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register Wishing you all the best on your journey to growth and understanding.
Unfortunately consequences don't fix the underlying problem, they just teach people to mask and hide what they feel, leading to inevitable blow ups later on. What we need, men and women both, is to actually heal the emotional wounds we're carrying. Then sanity prevails all on its own, without the need for any threats to hold someone accountable.
Im doing a lot of reading and research at the moment as I’m going through a divorce. A lot of these insights( like this video) applying both ways - so from this video we , as men, are also under pressure to provide / protect/ be emotionally available from the roles put upon us- we as men also have to flip flop roles to meet our partner’s expectations. In this video the best message was men need to suppress emotions, remain strong, but it leaves our capacity bucket full, when we can take no more, breakdown and suicidal thoughts are higher in men because we don’t ‘vent’ at our partners ( generally)
mens emotional suppression is self-preservation, as my 3 boys went through puberyt it was my job to teach them how to handle their emotions, I have always described it as:
Suppress and ignore your first emotional response and wait for the second - because when you are riding high on testosterone your first response is to be violent. Prisons are full of men who never learned to suppress their first response.
No, sorry but being emotional is no excuse for acting crazy and having no integrity.
I don't mind a womans emotions but when she starts to lash out and attack the men in her life justified by her emotions, telling lies, making accusations because she feels hurt inside there is zero tolerance for that. The #1 way men go to jail is because of toxic crazy emotional women. Its just not worth it.
Well, you can think of this as a justification, but you could also take it as an explanation.
Good God. Relationships with women are way too much trouble
Hello Rachael, according to various studies, the most common causes of divorce:
1. Lack of commitment
2. Infidelity or extramarital affairs
3. Too much conflict and arguing
4. Lack of physical intimacy
Since # 2 is non negotiable. How do you bridge the gap #1, 3, & 4? What triggers her to be emotional out of 1, 3, & 4? This is complex. How do you negotiate lack of commitment? It takes the two parties to have a common goal. If she is not committed, then you cannot force her.
1, 3, and 4 all occur once number 2 happens. Period, full stop
@@cliffenglegreat observation my my good sir, these creatures are only loyal to their feelings
5. because women dump men based on feelings, assumptions and unicorn dust. They always think they deserve better.
its not emotional suppression, its emotional control. its to know that we are not the victim of our emotions but generator of them!
You've nailed it brilliantly, totally! Thanx for the much needed insights. I feel better.
This was incredible insight rachael. I'm wondering do you have a reading list for men to learn more about these dynamics? I think it would be incredibly helpful for myself and other men that just want to understand.
Dr. John Gray's Beyond Mars & Venus as noted above in another comment is a great resource.
Basically, you never know what they think, feel or wether you are being manipulated...btw...aren't we all equal? Why don't we get educated on this when we are young ?
Throw any excuse you want on it. Just go be crazy somewhere else.
You didn't talk about imbalances in our hormones. I would recommend Dr John Gray videos to these couples. It's caused by a hormone imbalance due to the fact that we are too far on the opposite side today. Women are too far on their male side, men are too far on their female side. This messes up hormones. For women to get back on their soft feminine side, it takes time and communication. Dr John Gray's Beyond Mars and Venus book and podcasts discuss biological reasons and science for what is happening. Please look him up. 🙏🌷
Well, I know this is the case, feminine men and masculine women around us.
I will have a look at what Dr Gray thinks...cheers
There is still right and wrong. If women act destructively, they are still responsible.
True 14:00
Open dialog between men and women can be a good start. But always remember you got 1st work on yourself before you try to "fux" your partner
You're absolutely right-open dialogue is crucial for improving relationships, but it all starts with working on yourself first. When both partners are committed to their own personal growth, it creates a healthier foundation for communication and understanding.
In relationships, we can sometimes get caught up in trying to fix or change our partner, but the true transformation begins when we focus on understanding our own emotions, triggers, and behaviors. Once we take responsibility for our own growth, we naturally create space for more empathy and connection in the relationship.
If you're looking for tools and strategies to strengthen your relationship or navigate the complexities of emotional volatility, I’d love for you to join my free masterclass. It will help you take those first steps toward healing and growth: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register.
Working on yourself is the most powerful way to improve not only your relationships but your life as a whole! 💡
Emotional maturity (E.Q.) Emotional Quotient is a psychological state that differs from person to person based on ones upbringing, development and environmental adaptations you applied over your earlier formidable development stages of your life but generally men are more stable, rational and self regulating in comparison to women however this doesn't negate the fact that some grown men can act like 6 year boys, "throwing their toys out of their cots". If you work on yourself rather than trying to fix and repair spouse, you can then help them address their deep-rooted vulnerabilities, insecurities, fears, etc. A Stoic and Biblical approach to help you navigate these challenges is a good solid foundation to work from.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and insightful perspective. Emotional maturity is indeed a key factor in navigating relationships, and you’re right-both men and women have unique ways of processing emotions and vulnerabilities. Focusing on self-work is essential for any type of personal growth and healing, and it sets a strong foundation for addressing deeper issues in relationships.
I completely agree that working on ourselves first empowers us to better understand and support our partners, while also addressing our own insecurities. The Stoic and Biblical approaches you mentioned can certainly provide great tools for this journey.
If you’re looking for more support in this area, I’d love to invite you to my free masterclass. It’s designed to help individuals build emotional resilience, find clarity, and improve their relationships, especially after major life changes like divorce.
You can sign up here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
Thanks again for contributing to the conversation! 💙
I feel for you. I've watched probably 15-20 of your videos since my situation started a few weeks back. EVERY comment sections has a contingency of men who just want to hear what they want to hear (women are crazy, lying, cheating, etc). These videos are really helping me be empathetic throughout the process and led me to taking the high road way more than I could have done alone.
hurrr duuurrrr men hurrr duuurrrr
Thank you for this kind comment, and for watching. I'm really glad the videos have been helpful for you.
There are a lot of aggressive comments, but I get it. These men are in a lot of pain, and experiencing incredible amounts of fear. Pain and fear put us into fight/flight, which changes the way our brains process information. Those comments used to bother me, but now I just see a human who is in agony, trying to find relief somewhere. It is so heartbreaking, and I am grateful that I do get to see so much healing happen in my work. I know it is possible, even for the most angry commentors.
Thank you again for watching and writing. If you want to go even deeper into this work, I have a free Masterclass that will give you even more insight into how the emotional brain (yours and hers) works and how to use that knowledge to feel better and build better relationships. You can find it here if you're interested: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach, we, for the most part, are not in emotional agony. We are in realization. I know you are trying to help. But you are simply excusing bad behavior on the part of women. Imagine a man having an emotional outburst and slapping his wife. Nobody is going to say try to understand his feelings etcetera. They are going to say get your emotions and behavior under control. Why don't any of you so called coaches say this?
Great job 🎉❤ thank you for your help.
Yea, I don't know how long I have been watching your videos, but this is top 3 for sure. On a prior video I suggested that the video was supposed to be trying to humanizing women, but failed. This actually did accomplish humanizing women in a way that is understandable and relatable.
Um, why do we need to be “humanized”? We are humans.
I have no doubt that all of this is accurate, but I just can't handle it. As a guy in my twenties and thirties, I used to think that I was just bad at picking women. As a guy at my late forties now, I have come to realize that the women I have shared.My life with were not all crazy, they were just women, and I don't really like women outside of short term relationships. The stress they bring to my life just isn't worth it anymore. Add to this, age appropriate women for guys like myself are at their crazy peak just before menopause. The PMS a lot of women start to experience in their 40's is more intense and lasts twice as long as it does in their 20's and 30's. I mean, who wants to cohabitate with someone that could go off like a nuclear bomb ten days out of a month. You really have to love a woman to be able to deal with that, and that type of love is not something i've been capable of since my twenties. I'm good with being single and just having a booty call. When I get too old to pull women, I'll probably just pay for it. 😅
You ladies have no idea what you want in life from literally one minute to the next. That would cause anybody to go crazy.
We want respect. It's not all about you being a hero and saving us, even though that is very much appreciated. You see, we actually think and know quite a lot. But if we show you something you don't know, you want to destroy us. Oh, and we don't like to be called crazy, because that means that anything we said before or after that gets noise-cancelling. However, it is understandable that you are probably here watching this video because the one you are in love with is very beautiful.
@@agreetodisagree4751 You are correct..Men want a loyal woman who can support herself financially and can have a strong sexual connection (true attraction). Women are wayyyyyy more complicated!
Can't just paint a whole group of people with a broad brush like that 😅 . That statement is probably true of some, not all. Plus, it definitely applies to me at times, and I'm male.
@@agreetodisagree4751seems like another weird way of “might makes right”. Strength equals smarter, strength equals more risk-more reward (sometimes), strength equals bending others to your will in one way or another. It’s sucks but it’s how it is and how it will always be
@@agreetodisagree4751respect?? 😂 thats funny....you man haters are all the same lol. So typical. Did your daddy not love you enough 😢
From an evolutionary perspective, this is what's complex.
The "craze" would let people walk away are reduce the chance of survival, but such emotion has remained (unlike tails) throughout thousands of generations.
This is another proof, among many others, that humans were created by imperfect beings.
Thank-you!
Watch the pod cast see what you think?
Very good at faking emotions as well.
Umm… being heartless is not the same as being rational, Rachel. Being unreasonably heartless and cruel and cold is as much a sign of lack or emotional control as all the other signs.
I’m really impressed by the few comments of men who seem to WANT to understand. Of course there’s always the defeated hurt person who wants to throw up negativity on even the most basic of information.
It is not about understanding but dealing with or accepting the way it probably will be... unicorns don't exist as we are being told in the manosphere nevertheless I have seen a few exceptions...
Pulling the shame card again. Enjoy your cats.
So in the end: peace of mind=no women around
these videos are jewels
Never marry. It ruins women.
Nearly every conflict within the workplace has a woman at the center; women need to grow up and accept the ugly truth of reality.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to remember that emotional volatility, whether in relationships or workplaces, often stems from a variety of underlying factors, such as stress, unaddressed emotions, or unresolved issues. While it’s easy to generalize, each person-regardless of gender-can experience emotional challenges. Growth and self-awareness are key to overcoming these challenges. If you're interested in learning more about emotional regulation and how to approach relationships with understanding and clarity, I’d love to invite you to my free masterclass. It's designed to offer tools and strategies to help navigate emotional dynamics and build healthier relationships.
You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
Wishing you all the best on your journey to growth and understanding.
Because women can afford to behave that way, there are rarely consequences and they aren't held accountable.
Unfortunately consequences don't fix the underlying problem, they just teach people to mask and hide what they feel, leading to inevitable blow ups later on. What we need, men and women both, is to actually heal the emotional wounds we're carrying. Then sanity prevails all on its own, without the need for any threats to hold someone accountable.