Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than UA-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:39 Why Every Young Man Should Watch ‘Her’ 09:17 Do Women Need to Give Men More of a Chance? 14:09 Why Relationships in the Workplace Are Frequent 19:22 Should You Approach Someone in the Gym? 23:18 What Young Men Need to Prioritise 30:59 Is it Bad to Show Weakness to Your Friends? 43:08 Men Are Devoid of Positive Role Models 49:28 Advice to Ageing Men 58:03 Where to Find Scott
@@Elmucaroarrebatao The lable doesn't matter so much, as the fact that some traits in human biological foundation can cause trouble - men have theirs, women have theirs. And the extremes of the normal distribution within the genders have theirs, specifically. But I tend to agree, that better knowledge and solutions are found in more precise distinctions - so I am OK with making a distinction between fragilities of the (male, female) brain and (moral, character) weakness. That could be very helpful when figuring out how to co-educate boys and girls to neither gender's disadvantage.
I went to a comedy club in Chicago with a coworker 5 years ago. The girl in line behind me was alone. Started a conversation with her, today we’re married with two babies and thriving.
@@AaronKember the thing about it is you have to train yourself to make that not uncomfortable. When you love yourself and are truly confident, as I was in that moment, she could have totally rejected me and it would not have bothered me.
Exactly. Just approach the situation as friendly and low stakes. If someone is interested, that's great. If not, that's fine too. It doesn't have to be this big thing.@@millenialmemoirs
@@millenialmemoirs It's great how that strategy worked out so well for you (and her)and has resulted in a family unit that's so positive and admirable. But constant rejection can drain a guys spirits and question the whole notion of even trying particularly when they see the type of men who have no problem getting any number of females that they want
I’m 23, I lost my oldest brother last year, and have just now realized I’m kind of lost. I’ve lost a lot of friendships and relationships with guys and girls, had a career inline, but jobs been really on and off, and just trying to find myself and how I can get control of my life and move forward and not fall into the pit of depression. I can’t tell you how much your guys’ talks helped me realize what I need to focus on.
Trust brother. You’re mentally stronger than a lot of us was at 23. Things will get better in time just take it one day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself. Also sorry for your loss 🙏🏾.
You’ve got this, you’ve got time to figure out your direction. Sometimes we need to just pause and heal. I lost my brother this year in February. It’s a hard thing to process. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself, you’re clearly driven being here watching this content.
Scott's perspective on showing emotion is warped by both his age (generational differences) and spending time around ultra-high-power men. For Harry Styles and other modern giga chads, the emotional awareness and vulnerability are "truffle shavings" on an already world-class dish. Among younger (and less successful) men, these qualities don't move the needle because they don't drive real-world results. They need a positive Matthew effect loop - compounding small wins - more than anything else.
He could also simply mean emotional intelligence and be describing it as outward expression. There is no stage in our adolescent development where we are taught those skills.
@@MisterMonsterMan fame & status. Not to mention money. Plus genetically & physically attractive Talented too? A musician? All the tingles gentlemen, all the tingles
Developing resilience to rejection is a great piece of advice. I’ve been in sales for nearly 25 years and this is a common trait amongst the most successful people.
It's wild that we can say emotionality expressed on national TV is a push in the right direction for masculinity without acknowledging how few women can accomodate/handle vulnerability/emotion from men. Caleb clearly has a special parents to be able to balance his masculinity with emotionality, especially publically.
Also the inconvenient truth that is touched on a little bit here, women don’t like that shit. We don’t live in a novel, and no matter how many of them “claim” to want men to be emotional, they’ll dump the man they’re with in a second if he cries. It’s a lot like the argument, everyone wants more prisons, but don’t build that shit near my neighborhood mentality
@@nathanwinsor7 It really depends if he's earned that vulnerability or not. I might be swayed to agree that some women cannot handle it at all. The key here is that men can cry if they've earned it. That can be different things to different women. However, generally with enough masculinity, status, money, time investment, competence, production, and provision for a woman and any man can cry.
@@nathanwinsor7 personally, I'd rather date someone who appreciates me for me. Women who leave the moment their partner cries are immature and not ready for a relationship. My fiance appreciates my emotional intelligence. I stopped caring what others thought about my masculinity towards the end of my 20s when I realized most people who hold strict opinions about things like feminity, masculinity, etc, don't actually care about me. Likewise, women who hold strong opinions about gender and roles don't actually care about their partner in my experience.
I disagree with a healthy chunk of what Scott is saying but I do appreciate his perspective on young and older male relationships and how these days that’s just asking for trouble. A good place to get that connection in is through your job. My husband spent the last year working with quite a few young men, they are in their early 20s so not as young as Scott was referring to, that within a few months were coming to him with questions about life and asking his advice on things. I know kids coming into the workforce these days are harder than ever to relate to but I think there’s an opportunity there.
Enjoyed this podcast. I didn't know that molested boys are 10x more likely to commit self-deletion than molested girls. At the start of the video, Scott talks about how one of the greatest skills a man can have is to 'cold approach'. The incurring rejections you have and [hopefully[ build a bulletproof plate of self-esteem can go a long way. Chris from GLL also talks about this as well, since the skills you learn to 'cold approach' are applicable not just for dating, but for business opportunities. When you can repeatedly take rejection over, and over you stop caring about looking bad, because when you got rejected all the things that you thought in your head that would happen, didn't.
The problem isn't rejection, it's mass rejection. A man could easily, and is very likely to, go through hundreds or thousands of rejections before being accepted. This goes for all dating platforms including irl.
@@brianmeen2158 I doubt they even approached a woman in real life. I was one of them for a long time. You just have to face your fears eventually or you'll wallow in misery forever.
@@brianmeen2158 It's important to realize that when a woman tells you she's not interested it's sometimes a shit test. A lot of guys don't take rejection well, but if you do take it well you might be pleasantly surprised by her reaction. It happened to me personally. It's anecdotal I know, but it does happen.
It seems to me it's the apps at fault. Do you know how many years it would take to be rejected 1000s of times in real life? And how unlikely it would be.
@@aristocraticrebel I'm not so sure if we are talking cold approach. Unless you look like a super male model (Henry Cavill with a better hairline) I just don't see how cold approach could possibly work. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Scott is part of the problem contributing to men's suicide rates. He's dismissing legitimate concerns and issues that men are experiencing in the current dating and relationship landscape. It's not so much that men are not showing emotions but rather how they are treated as disposable, how they are told they are never enough, how they are told they are the root of the world's problems.
@@onward2727 That's the thing. He even admits that many women he dated lost attraction once he showed any signs of weakness but yet he never holds women accountable.
@@tigerbear3038 There is no "holding accountable" when it comes to attraction. Attraction can't be negotiated. Best you can hope for, is to condition women to tolerate it more. But in the end, the more emotionally stable man will be more attractive, all other things being equal.
@@okaySam I disagree with this. Some rationalization can influence attraction. I personally have done it myself. And, if it doesn't work, I don't see a point in therapy or couples therapy if all our emotions are based on instincts.
I find Scott has hit part of the nail on the hammer. I think in an hour it’s hard to hit the nail perfectly. He’s speaking in generalizations which i think he’s right to do. Everybody doesn’t know how to “fix young men” i say this as a young man who is struggling just like most. This podcast has definitely helped.
Why are we acting like men manifest or express their emotions the same way women do? Men's emotional side is generally anger more than sadness. Most dudes when they're bothered don't want to just "cry" it out. They're f*cking pissed and need to discern a good outlet for their frustrations. Now I personally think men need to stop taking social media as gospel. It's an exaggerated idea of what reality really is, but we can't discount that it will have effect on younger men. They also must understand that the world does not care about you unless you give them a reason. I learned that from Ayn Rand, and not from the public school system.
And a lot of meetup groups have a one strike policy that will have men banned if they ask anyone out. There just aren't too many safe places outside of apps to get to know women and to ask them out. The environment that this has created is one where unless there is 100% certainty that a woman reciprocates a man's interest, there is always a risk of losing your livelihood if you approach a women or express any kind of sexual interest outside of dating apps.
Its really sad. I'm in my 60s. When I was young a huge number of people met their spouse at work. Its a great low stress environment to get to know someone over a fairly long period, before taking any action. I met my wife at work. She ran a different department, so we didn't really work together, but interacted every day. You ask out someone who looks hot when you only encounter them briefly. You ask some out who you are making a real connection with when you work in the same building as them every day.
west is failling because of all these lunacy, look at other cultures that prosper, i will not name them but kudos. They are coming up with CORE WHICH IS FAMILY , and we are going down . GG
This is correct. When you have a lot of responsibility and are acknowledged for doing a good job taking care of those responsibilities the emotions that once felt catastrophic now carry little to no weight.
Nobody is able to build a stable self-confidence on wannabe-thoughts and daydreams only (though they play a part for sure) - but a good self-confidence comes from having mastered and endured difficult tasks and challenges. If one just does what comes easy to oneself, one can't even believe in one's own capacity oneself. Laziness and avoidance of struggle impresses nobody, and the one least impressed is oneself.
When Scott Galloway speaks about men being told, " not to make relationships at work". He's speaking from his high horse. Ground reality is totally different
The risk vs reward ratio is simply not worth the trouble. All it takes is one complaint and your professional reputation is ruined and you out in the street without a job. And based on all the tiktok videos of women in gyms shaming men who even so much take a glance at them, the likelihood of someone lodging a HR complaint for clout or victimhood status is simply too great to risk.
He does come from a corporate background. I can say 100% when I was at Netflix I saw at least 8 people fired for dating each other. Peers too, no power dynamics. Many corporations in the US do not tolerate office relationships of any kind
Scott is living 30 years in the past. Most young men these days are very in touch with their emotions. They are over emotional in many cases. The pendulum has swung too far to the other side. Men need to understand their emotions AND where the emotions are arising from. Then channel them to help achieve their goals
Being in touch with your emotions is not the same thing as being emotional. Someone who is in touch with their emotions is not as reactive as someone who is “emotional”.
@@John12512exactly. Emotional intelligence versus haphazardly expressing emotion. One requires an understanding of ourselves, and the other lacks understanding.
@@faismasterx I don’t think so. I believe that for the most part, having access to enough literature and professionals working on these subjects, they are just showing cowardice. One inappropriate word, one misunderstood tone, and that's the end of their career. This is where we are.
Love Scot and Chris, but if suicide rates are higher, why is "showing emotions" the answer? When the suicide rate was lower, men were much more likely to be stoic and keeping emotions inside. It's much deeper than "letting emotions out."
Correct. Showing emotions won't solve the problem that is leading men into depression. Most of the times it's rational thoughts that lead into a downwards spiral.
Previous generations were less likely to commit suicide for a variety of reasons. My grandfather was stoic and it was obvious he rarely processed and understood his emotions. I saw this with other men of his generation as well. Just because a person presents a stoic demeanor doesn't mean they have a high emotional intelligence and are adequately processing their emotions or have a good understanding of their internal world. Men today struggle with processing emotions, primarily because no part of our adolescent development includes being educated on emotional processing and learning. Whether you express your emotions to others or choose stoicism, both require the ability to process emotions and learn from them. This isn't the only reason for suicides but contributes.
I think because showing emotions primes connection potential. More connection equals less loneliness. Remember, you're talking about two different time periods.
exactly. when men don't keep their emotions in check, that's when there is violence. there has been an increase in the feminization of men sadly... and women in general are not helping.
I was in Indonesia on the way back to Bali from Nussa Penida when I listened to your last interview with Scott....I think it changed my life ...and his advice to be ready for rejection Les me to talk to a very beautiful girl from Azerbaijan who was on the same boat and we have been dating since then
I love Chris Williamson and i have 2 books from Scott Galloway, but damn this podcast was tough. Essentially Galloway is saying that if you don't have money you dont deserve a woman. WOW! Im 33 and make the average salary in DC. Im in great shape (go to the gym 3x a week), have a college degree, and even mentor a young man. And it sounds like they don't think I should have a chance. Ima keep fighting, but I don't ill ever make crazy money, so it'll be tough to get a wife.
@@QAI145 and this why many men quit. Because this is the way many think. Not to put myself on a pedestal, but if someone like me is struggling, I can see why those who aren't as fortunate, advantaged, or blessed would quit.
If you accept your lot in life, that's fine, but you can not complain about the outcome as well. You have to be what most women want to call your shot. Leverage and options are what matters in the mating game.
@@Kreymore believe me Boss I more than accept my low value. Two months ago I had an overweight girl (granted with a beautiful smile) come up to me, and ask for my number. We went on a few dates but when she got the idea that I don't possess the money for an abundant lifestyle she ended things. Although this young lady said several times that I was more attractive than her, and my character is amazing, she still ended things when she found out I don't make 6 figures. My point is that she's below average, in the way men view women, but in modern times women hold the power, therefore I won't feel sorry for her if she dies alone. Women (of all body sizes) ending things when they find out I don't make 6 figures is something that has happened frequently in the last few years too. Me on the other hand, I continue to save, and have applied to Grad School so I can increase my income. I accept the fact that I have to do better, but if Chris or Scott expect me to feel sorry for women when they age out of their prime, I'm sorry, but I won't. There's an idea that every man who isn't in a relationship is porno or video game obsessed, still living with their mothers. This is 200% wrong. Most of my college roommates who live in NYC are also single. The women are looking for the "perfect man" even if they are average in the way we view them. Sorry for the life story essay lol.
im actually starting to get sick off those episodes where it goes „young men should do this and that to actually get the bare minimum out of life, that our ancestors had granted for hundreds of years“. Obviously theres something wrong with the western world, when there are million of young men across the west suffering from the same problem. The fact is that being the best version of yourself, often isnt enough anymore. This is true for the dating and job landscape.
Yeah it’s tiring. Self improvement is the answer to one person struggling. Millions struggling is a societal epidemic. Self improvement isn’t the answer, it’s honestly kinda just blaming you for a societal issue
It's technically true, women want you when you don't want them. Same for jobs. If you're doing your best for you and killing it while not trying to get a woman, that's when you'll get one. Literally all of my long term relationship came from situations where I was working on myself and met a woman. And approached it as freindship first. It's got to be some sort of pheromone they can smell that you don't need them that makes them want to try for you instead
I'm an old fogey like Galloway. I hear what you're saying. The world's not changing back any time soon, I'm sorry. Look for cheat codes/shortcuts, which are typically getting into a prestigious educational/training program, finding a way into a prestigious career or company, leverage whatever resources you can to set yourself apart from the crowd. And you'll probably have to learn to travel very, very light, so try to be comfortable being alone (or alone with God) for extended periods, and don't think twice about moving across the country or the world if you think there's an opportunity to move the needle. Many of us older folks went through very similar experiences when we were young. But the opportunities did come significantly faster, especially in the dating realm.
"one of the key components of that is men do never learn how to express their are struggling and because they're taught from a very early age that real men don't express that sort of upset" Suicide rates in men are not rising because they never learned to be emotional and express themselves. Many male children of the 80's and 90's were taught this, what is happening now is they ARE expressing themselves and overtly being rejected or finding they have no one around them that cares. As my successful and beautiful Ex once said, "I don't have time to deal with your emotions." Roger that.
I always feel kinda embarrassed that I fit into the 6s category (6' and $100k+) and yet I still get no dates. I'm not unkempt, look after myself, I try not to mention or make it obvious that I'm wealthy. Yet I still fail Listening to all these podcasts where they basically say "if you check these boxes you win all the women" it's just not even true. People make other kinds of judgements you cannot control all the time. So I'm just at a point where I try and enjoy my job and the company of my friends and don't desperately pursue women. I do make a moderate effort to make new friends every time I go out, flirt a little and if the girl doesn't reciprocate I just move on
Same here - tall, fit, (just) earning 6 figures - zero interest from women. I've spent a lifetime improving myself and my prospects to almost no avail (at least as far as romance is concerned).
"I try not to mention or make it obvious that I'm wealthy." This is why you fail. Chad and Tate are going to flaunt their money and any other potentially positive attributes to partners. You are actively hiding your worth on the dating market. When you say you "don't desperately pursue women" and "if the girl doesn't reciprocate I just move on" what I'm hearing is that you don't try very hard. That's unattractive to women, that you give up so easily. Scott said in this video that in the vast majority of successful relationships the woman wasn't interested in the beginning, it was only after being pursued that their interest began to generate which sublimates into a relationship. As far as I can tell, you are actively avoiding generating interest in other towards you and then lamenting the fact that no one is interested in you.
I often find myself in tears, but I believe that discerning female companions can distinguish between tears stemming from self-pity and those arising from genuine and intense emotions, whether positive or negative. A remarkable woman can recognize this distinction and will offer unwavering support as long as she doesn't perceive your tears as self-centered. I suppose the same holds true for both genders...
“Elegant persistence”, lol, yeah right😂 Any other guys feeling exhausted by the endless “hoop jumping” that it takes to date these days??? Sheeeeeesh!!
Tiresome, every guy goes through the fire of rejection - the women have little to offer. The mental gymnastics to shame men for everything. Consider the incentives, stop pretending men are afraid of rejection.
That's a good point. Why suffer the constant pain or rejection if the reward isn't very good? It's a two-way street. If women want men to be traditional and exceptional, they need to be exceptional as well
Yes! Let's follow their line of thinking... If men have gotten weak; and therefore need to grow (face rejection) and mature (process emotions, social skills), then what can we expect women to do? How must women grow and mature? Because honestly, I'm slowly getting tired of so many women being addicted to social media and prioritizing external validation over a relationship. The eternal victim role, women put themself in, is also straining relationships.
@@rupey4582 Chris and Scott are fundamentally feminist. They put down men, take credit for doing something about the problem, to empower themselves. It's no different than the woman who shames men, lists demands, and tells you she's a queen. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. An honest analysis would start with what base level of requirements each sex needs to achieve and the ratio of the opposite sex who also meet the standard have desire. That answer is which sex needs to 'level up.'
@@rupey4582 Exactly - my time is precious! Why should I waste hours and hours on a woman that is both not interested, nor wants to do any effort in maintaining friendship? Scott is really part of the camp where women's time and attention are most valuable, and men's is just trash.
I would disagree with Scott’s assessment that women are naturally mentally and emotionally stronger. I think there are more stresses and less supports for men. Men get, at an early age that they are considered disposable by society.
Women want a man who is not that emotional because the man is supposed to shoulder the burden of her emotional problems, so it’s expected a man carry his own emotional issues and well as his wife. And this dude calls them weak ?
It's easy to be emotional, you don't have to understand a feeling to cry, you don't have to recognize reasons and changes in your mood to cry. It's just a reaction to a stimulus, just like I don't have to diagnose a intestinal tumor to know my stomach hurts. It is hard to suppress emotions though. Because you have to identify the changes happening in your mood and mental state in real time, realize where it's leading and how to stop it. Men from an early age train in emotional surgery, recognizing a problem, diagnosing it, and removing it before it can cause more damage. Meanwhile women cry "I'm in pain" do nothing to fix it and act like they are world renown emotional experts.
That QB Caleb Williams didn't set masculinity forward at all. He just showed how soft and coddled young people, specifically men, have become. No men should act like he did. Men are weaker, softer, with mental issues and higher self deletion rate, because they are raised that way. I agree that men need to raise and teach boys to be men, to be mentally and emotionally tough, strong. That's why fathers are so important, especially in this single mother's trend.
I took control of my life and went from broke and suicidal to married with two kids, a fulfilling career that allowed me to bring the wife home, an investment portfolio growing everyday. Started with fasting and regular exercise. Then I found God. Got married, started having babies. Life’s amazing.
@@georgespiese7388 are you implying I made this up? I’m trying to share some honest inspiration for people lost like I was just 5 years ago. What’s BS? Edit: I just looked at your other comments on this channel. Can only assume you’re a Bot spewing that negativity.
I met my wife in medical school. About 10 years of major stress crammed into 2 semesters. It is easy to have fun with someone, but in my opinion, the action is how the person acts when stressed. That's how I knew I had a good one.
Especially if a lot of the mental stress endured by men is caused by women. Imagine a world where most men beat the crap out of women and then calling weak because they can’t endure
That’s a wild thing to say, it’s because they understand the world doesn’t really care much about them. And they are shamed for being weak. Women don’t have these burdens
@awsambdaman why are men not making other men feel cared for though? If you feel that way about the world please lift each other up! Women are out here online caring for other women and their feelings.
@stopdragginaround The reality is that men are treated as disposable on a large scale, no amount of support from close friends can't make us ignore the massive discrepancies. Men get sent to war, more men are homeless and no one cares, men are treated unfairly in divorce court and no one cares, men receive harsher prison sentences and not one cares, etc.
Women put up with a lot of creeps starting as girls. It's at least partly a defense mechanism to keep most men at a distance except the ones they can trust, or take a risk on.
And this is a nice urban myth (women are just worthless over 35…) but I can name several women over 50 who are hotter than over 50% of 20 year olds. So, it’s not exactly always the case. It’s just that past about 40 those bodies (and minds ) are WORKED FOR. And that’s not a bad thing.
Men need to understand their emotions, but it’s vitally important that you have to be powerful before you can express them.I remember in high school the less I exposed or shared, the more likely I was getting snuck into a girls bedroom window on a Tuesday night.
While I do think his intentions are good, Scott has absolutely no idea what's going on, on the ground in the real world. Best case scenario he's gaslighting men at this point. I think he's a smart guy, he's basically just flying over and waving at everyone below in regard to most of these issues. I think Sadia Kahn is probably also on that same plane.
He is a liberal man who has always been part of the elite. Just take that into account whenever he starts talking about how much harder women have it. He never had to deal with adversity.
I agree. But current thinking is analytic and inward looking. People are afraid failing. In reality men need to learn to fail. If you are afraid to fail, you are often despate. And desperation never works with women, clients, employers or customers. So long as you cant fail, you will feel desperate and give those signals too.
@@brianmeen2158 I was fed this by UA-cam because I saw a previous interview with him on Diary of a CEO where he described Men problems as white noise and his interest as capitalistic. Galloway makes my skin crawl, he's a shark, I only watched 5 minutes of this interview. He's transparently monetizing single men. MGTOW don't "binge" watch women/dating content but it's OK to watch the ship going down from a liferaft whilst heading for the shore.
6:04 Only six minutes in and I love this point which I have heard plenty of times. Being able to handle rejection is much of the key to life. One of my favorite books "The Social Animal" uses a narrative to teach about sociology and references many other books and papers. One of the analogies that comes is "Askers vs guessers". Personally, I've always been very agreeable and and a guesser meaning I'd hesitate to ask for a promotion or for help unless I was confident, I'd get a positive response. The Askers tend to be those that will always ask and tend to say "The worse they can do is tell me no." And they're completely OK with that. I had to learn that in relationships and my career.
The other thing you’re missing is that women constantly tell us to not approach them, to leave them alone. So why are we less than for listening? Isn’t that the moral thing to do? It’s hard enough to get over the fear of rejection but to add onto that the belief that you’re actively doing something they don’t want you to do? Isn’t that just immoral at that point
I'm fine with meeting new people but I don't care about women or what women want anymore. I don't want anything to do with romantic relationships. I want mastery and success.
And that is fine. People act like it's crazy to not have your life revolve around women if you're a man because they've made decisions they're not entirely happy with themselves. I wish you all the success and happiness (or at least contentment) in your life, whether that is with a woman/women or not
I use to love Scott… I use to also not have a fully developed brain. He has wondered outside of his expertise and has taken a hit in his credibility (at least for me.) It shows a major lack of awareness and humility. Instead of sitting back and reevaluating his surroundings, he has gone full-steam ahead. He is knowledgeable and confident… but he lacks wisdom. Sometimes it’s better to listen than spout your random take on an issue you know nothing about.
Never heard of him until recently when I saw the covid response forgiveness vid. 2nd thing I've seen from him and my initial regard stands for what little it matters.
I actually think that his diagnosis and most of his prescriptions are spot-on. It's his motivations that get me. Men need to do better. For the benefit of who? - Women and greater society of course. Women need to do nothing, just patiently wait for a possible improvement of the situation.
@@anisenkrill6179 Any solution to the problems in dating that doesnt at least include women alongside men is blind to the reality of our dating landscape.
@@anisenkrill6179do you think he thinks women are faultless though? I kind of took it like he was trying to be the role model that he believes men are lacking and speaks directly to them, more so to help them than condemn them.
Interesting insights from both sides. Seeking virtue is the answer to every basic human need: health/fitness, love/romance/family, career/success/money. Be better than yesterday and STOP COMPLAINING!
I had a female boss once., she was so hot.. we would have these one on one meetings and I couldnt pay attention to anything she said. It was actually good for the company tho, it made me just do my job.. cuz then she wouldn’t bother with me. So I did what I was supposed to do and she focused on the other idiots. Perfect system!
I listen to your podcasts and really enjoy them. I'm 44 and it seems now that every aspect of life is so complicated. I hope that life goes back to being as basic as possible, but I fear it will get more complicated and this will cause big problems for future generations.
I’m 46 and things In California are way too complicated. I do well at work but maintaining multiple homes and older cars plus taking care of family is getting to be WAY too much. At this point, I’m considering selling it all and getting a dog and a trailer and moving to Montana.
Scott actually said in a different podcast that "A key component of entrenchment is the delusion of complexity.". Totally floored me. I'm doing the same as you, moving to the desert and living my way
Btw - most don’t care about male strife and / or suicide. No one cares - prove this statement incorrect And if a nest egg or assets are left behind for a female ( gf/ wife )- they care less and only go Through a social/ societal norms period of grief ( and it is all phony) I have seen this. Multiple instances. Her grief - was all for attention and not a thing more
I think there is a difference between emotionality brought on by weakness and emotionality coming out of strength. Be strong. Tell the truth. Fight for things worth fighting for.
@@jonathan4831 these two groups should learn from each other and balance it - i don't think there is a 100% stoic person on this planet like we see in the movies. books are theory. but there are a lot people who are easily triggered. men and women.
@@vanessanesener4028I think society could benefit from people being provided education in emotional intelligence skillsets as we would have human beings who have a better understanding of themselves. Strength and weakness are typically just projections of insecurity.
In canada we have big brother/sister programs where folks who want to be role models for younger kids can partner up with young people to do activities and learn from one another. I never participated in a program like it but Ive herd positive things and see the value for both members in it. I think we need to inspire and influence future generations of people to be genuinely good, dependable people looking to better humanity. To conclude, i think positive mentors are important to have when learning how the world functions. I think we need to inspire more people to value being good to themselves and the people they care for and learning to care for the greater/global community your a part of. To those who read what i had to say-thanks and props to these lads for sharing this with us all
I think the "men need to learn to show their feelings" is just a tired old trope these days when it comes to male mental health and suicide. Of course it is important to recognise and express how you are feeling but that in itself doesn't solve anything. There is a lot that needs to be done on a societal level but no-one in authority advocates for male issues
They blame men for not being emotional, but there are way more negative consequences from doing that then there are positive. On top of that most young guys are over emotional and that's off putting for men that would be mentors otherwise
When men show feelings to women they get shunned or institutionalized as a threat. As soon as women stop seeing emotional men as neglected puppies or rabid dogs men will be emotional.
The problem, as other commenters pointed out, is that when men do show their emotions they're punished for it. A certain man's dog would have something to say about that. So why are we still repeating the tired, useless, broken phrase "men need to learn to show their feelings"? Simple, because women can't handle men's emotions. Men are expected to 100% handle their partner's emotions constantly, but unless you're in the top 1% like Chris and Scott showing emotional vulnerability is an instant turn off for men and women alike. When we stop punishing 99% of men for showing their emotions, MAYBE THEN we'll start having more men showing their emotions in public. Until then, the punishments are too severe and the benefits don't exist.
I agree that Caleb example can be an awesome one to foster the masculinity discussion… but one major detail there… most of what we do as a men is a response to what we think is expected from us. Caleb moved the discussion forward but his mom covering his face from the crowd as that was something to be hidden (ashamed of) is a counter punch to that… she is (even if unconsciously) reinforcing the idea that showing emotions is not a “good thing”… is something to hide. “The most important women in my life would rather see me dying in action than deciding not to fight at all.” - one of the “curse” of being a man. YOU canta show any signs of weakness
That story C Bum told about his girlfriend supporting him, knowing he would be able to do what he needed to do, still makes me well up when I remember.
The football qb anecdote, that young man just reaffirmed one of my incidentally observed key factors in success, relationships and everywhere else comes from the unconditional support given from birth through early adulthood by a healthy family.
If you can’t express every emotion to your life partner … leave now. They are your support & your best friend. If they can’t be there & supportive at your worst they definitely don’t deserve your best. Run …
I think this is the key thing most men miss these days. Same with women. You have more control over your circumstances than you may be aware. Realization comes from experience unfortunately, bit if we can just help people understand they have more control if they look inwards, self mastery, self honesty, and integrity out, they'll find much better results and progress in life. Get away from easy things for immediate gratification, and do the hard work for the long satisfaction. You'll achieve things quicker than you realize and also the hard will become easier, and the easy things will be seen for the superficial, meaningless, and traps they are.
I love how these guys spent this much time arguing the point that men should express their emotions more, and then lay out all the arguments why that would crush you down, and not see the immediate contradiction in that 😂. Guys. Never. Ever. Be. Weak. Especially in front of women.
This dude is a perfect example of the principle of rejecting the traits that got him to the level of success he currently holds. It was his masculinity that helped him achieve the level of success that he has and yet now in his senile old age is being slowly deprived of testosterone and is now preaching to young men to show more emotions 😂 dude if we were in a wolf pack you’d be the lead because we’d let you get attacked first in an ambush
As a guy, it's hard to hit your stride in a sustainable way. There's tremendous rewards and upsides when you do, and you CAN find yourself in this dopaminergic, testosterone-driven upward spiral. I think the necessity of us consistently making the hard choices has never been greater. The accessibility to easy choices has never been broader.
Why nobody notice that there's a difference between feeling and showing emotions? If I feel it doesn't mean that I have to show them, they aren't becoming any less real and full. And opposite, if I show them, that doesn't mean, that I feel them for real. It feels like equality does a bad joke for our perseption. Equal doesn't mean "sameness". Due to psychological studies women are more inclined to neuroticism. They actually react to the world in more sensetive way(evolution role, caring for infants, who are unable to communicate in usual way and you have to be very sensetive to "understand" them) But we make a mistake telling men that "oh, you feel the world at this amount of sensitivity too, you just forbid yourself to show it!". That's just not true.
I think his point is that although they’re are many factors contributing to this, one way how to approach is by building up men the emotional resilience to express when they’re upset and being able to accept the rejection or acceptance. It’s about having the freedom to express how you feel and being okay with whatever their reaction is. They also touch on that older men need to step up and teach younger men how it’s done.
No no and no!A previous video from Chris about how the puas (pick up artists)of the pre dating apps era are now incels gives another indication of how when women can choose on the one criteria of looks they do so exclusively.
@@stopdragginaround A lot of those men aren't even interested in any sort of relationship anyway. With surveys showing that the reverse is more likely to be the case.
0:08: 💰 The conversation revolves around the concept of people doing things for money, with a focus on the legalization of prostitution. 4:31: 👊 The video emphasizes the importance of enduring rejection in sales and personal relationships, and suggests trying out club promotion for building resilience. 8:34: 👫 The video discusses the dynamics of long-term relationships and the importance of teaching young men and women about building and maintaining relationships. 13:24: 💑 The speaker discusses the benefits of national service and co-ed spaces in fostering relationships and competence. 17:51: 💼 Discussion about the impact of power dynamics in corporate settings and the potential for misunderstanding between men and women. 22:25: 🗣 The video discusses the importance of encouraging positive social interactions and the impact of fitness on mental health. 26:47: 🧠 The speaker discusses his experience with therapy and the layers of emotions he has come to realize. 31:25: 🚩 The video discusses the importance of showing emotions in relationships and with friends. 36:25: ⚠ The video discusses the concept of surplus mate value and how it can lead to mistreatment in relationships. 40:51: ⚠ The video discusses the importance of focusing on men's mental health and the hidden struggles they may face. 45:47: 👨👦 The importance of male role models in the lives of young men and boys. 50:23: 👴 The video discusses the impact of aging on energy levels and the romantic or sexual marketplace for men in their 30s and 40s. 55:04: 👫 The video discusses the dynamics of relationships and dating, highlighting the challenges faced by men in their 20s and the shift in advantage as they age. Recapped using Tammy AI
All of this talk and nobody wants to talk about the big, fat elephant in the room for fear of being cancelled. Instead, they talk about how men need to do more.
Men express emotions and struggle. It's called anger. Society is not ok with that in the way that people want to comfort a crying woman. You may want to console a young man who reminds you of your child, but we don't have an inclination to do this for men. Not upset by this, it just is.
There’s a huge difference between vulnerability and weakness. Women will never and cannot accept weakness, but they can and will accept vulnerability. The difference is, vulnerability you’re willing to do something about the problem. Weakness is defeat, and an inability to understand or able to do anything about it.
Way more controversy about this podcast in the comments then I thought there would be. But it is always useful to see dissenting views on content I really enjoy. Thanks guys for the discussion
Unequivocally: a woman who respects you less because you express your emotion or struggle is not a worthy partner. Sometimes circumstances dictate that you push through an emotion sure, but a partner who views you as weak because you feel things doesn’t understand what strength is
I know there are emotionally mature women who validate men's vulnerable feelings if the man wants to be heard, understood and is also seeking solutions to his struggles/problems. Such women often support and suggest solutions for such men while holding space so they can express their feelings. On the other hand, women in general have an aversion to/hold contempt for men who linger in victimhood, blaming others/their environment for their misfortune, acting out, merely licking their wounds without seeking solutions. This behavior can be seen as a desire to be molly coddled, saved, or rescued and kills a woman's sexual attraction to her man because she no longer sees him as a mature adult, but sees him as a child.
@@v9b23j I agree! I don’t think victimhood is attractive in anybody, nor is it a quality mature people nurture in themselves. But I don’t think vulnerability is the same as a victim mentality, and that conflation is where I see so many men go wrong.
@@leviduren5355 Yes, it could be that in certain cases, when men express having shown vulnerability to their female partners and see their partners pulling away, it's possible that what they perceived as vulnerability might have been conveyed more as a state of distress or persistent complaining.
@@leviduren5355 It's not men that "go wrong." Women want men to be ready and able to deal with THEIR problems and they find most male emotions weird and icky. All this "the feelings you ACTUALLY displayed are wrong but if you had displayed some OTHER feelings it would have been okay" is so much gaslighting, and we would never address female emotion like this.
@@fnordiumendures138 I may have lacked clarity. I meant “go wrong” not in the emotions that they express, but that they assume being vulnerable is the same thing as adopting a victim mentality. With this mistaken mindset, it’s tempting to not express emotions at all for fear of false weakness
Personally, i find his advice about showing emotions being beneficial is mostly wrong. I went from suicidal malaise to driven confidence by embracing the fact that mens value is built via action, and you're worthless until you get your ass in gear and start achieving things. When i look around, i see far more people in need of work ethic and drive than emotional outlets.
Most women don’t want a guy to hit on her, they just want a guy to talk to her like a person. You don’t need “game,” you need basic conversation skills.
There is some truth to this. But at some point you have to show your intentions... Also, trust me, the hotter the guy, the more likely she wants him to hit on her.
@@okaySam As an Australian who was young and drop dead, good looking in the 80s and 90s. I never met a "good looking" man who wasn't gross. I distinctly remember one, which sums them up. Do ya wanna go out to KFC? I've got a Porsche and I spend all my spare time on the beach. Do you have a g string bikini?
@@grannyannie2948 I'm sorry to hear that. I think men today invest more time into their appearance and from my experience most women appreciate that. I get a lot of compliments on my looks and I don't think I have a bad personality.
We need to bring back separate schools for men and separate schools for women. This would be an enormously beneficial first step. Lots of nonsense would go away.
Regarding Chris's dire talk about men ageing (in their 30s and 40s), it's not that dire. Yes, your metabolism slows, your testosterone reduces, your energy is less, your strength is less, sometimes your hair is thinning. In our society (North America), very few people are fit and eat well. This means lots of men have dad bods and low energy as early as late 20s. But guess what? All you need to do is take action. Develop and stick to a fitness plan. Stop eating crap. I'm nearly 60. I decided to get my act together 18 months ago. I'm literally in the best shape I've been in at least 20 years. I'm happily married and not looking for dates, but I get more attention from women than I have in decades. Strangers strike-up conversations with me. More important, my confidence is sky high, I have good energy and I feel great.
It’s not that we can’t endure rejection. Rejection is all some men face every day. And you’re confusing the fact that men shouldn’t face HR repercussion or social ostracization for showing unreciprocated romantic interest in a woman with the fact that that doesn’t actually happen. Because it absolutely does.
Why’s he out here saying “It’s not true” when talking about men being viewed as predators in the workplace? Men didn’t just all of a sudden want to stop approaching women at work, HR makes everything difficult, especially work relationships. So, while I’m all for shooting your shot, to act like you - as a man - can just easily have romantic relationships in the workplace without fear of charges related to sexual assault, harassment, etc., is highly misleading.
Thinking a bit about this it seem like the two are totally disregarding that there is a power balance between the genders. Women and men do not hold equal power in all domains. Thanks to feminism it has been drilled into society that women are behind on all domains of power and we should give women more power. And women have been given more power decade after decade. Now if two people with very unequal power bumps into each other, the one with least power must tread very carefully. The larger the power differential, the less chances are for a balanced relation.
The cherry on top is women holding more power in many domains, yet demanding victim status in all domains. Frankly, it's hard to tolerate. I have a few friends with feminist girlfriends and I don't know how they can endure this torture....
Very nice discussion. I will attest - almost all women- will in general look down at a male who is emotional or shows weakness - she will leave. She will use it against him. The “ back up plan slips into overdrive “- fact I experienced this myself early on. I have seen my friends experience- especially at the behest of the female - and blasted later for just that ! So true Bottom line , reality: no one cares about male suicide, stress, unhappiness, and other things Bottom line … It has always been so. Females love dogs and kids . Not men Lol
As Men, listening to these type of men tilt you towards what the society want us to be. Like wtf, cry but in your circle not to court these low energies
It’s hard when you have a lower level manager that works his life away for a company never able to be social, and falls in love at work. Then because he has a “minimal” amount of authority you axe him because a girl is salty she got dumped 4 months after the fling.
In person, yes. Women are generally taught to be polite when turning a man down because, if they get upset, we could end up in physical danger. Online, I'd say there are probably more rude rejections from both sexes because there's physically more distance.
They say that we are attracted to things in the opposite sex that were the same in our parents. So, if a woman had a stoic father then she'll be attracted to that kind of stoic quality in a man. Equally, if she grew up with a father who was a writer/artist/creative who was emotionally expressive then she'll be drawn to that kind of man. As a man, this means you need to understand what kind of masculinity you express and then find women who will be attracted to those qualities. For more creative men with a rich and deep emotional inner world, you will have to accept that as this is not the norm for most men, you will be attracting women from a much smaller dating pool because most women will only ever have experienced male figures in their lives who were the stoic rock. The normal masculine schema or mental model that a lot of women have is of a man who expresses very little emotions and who instead loves things like cars, sports and can fix stuff around the house. If you are not that guy and prefer deep conversations about emotions and writing poetry, then, well, there's a price to be paid for being that way. Personally, I'd rather be true to myself rather than pretending that I'm some sort of stoic robot who loves doing D.I.Y and fixing cars. But that's me.
Rejection doesn’t have anything to do with my relationship issues. Religion, money, health, and education are the reasons I REFUSE to be involved in a relationship. I love my future kids too much to put them in a bad spot in life.
I met my husband while I was looking at tulips in the spring at the grocery store. It took me 3 weeks to call his number. Number 1 reason I did was because he did not fear rejection and gave me his number. Thought it was funny how he was trying to teach his boys that! I say Hell Yes get out there and atleast ask. No one will melt if the answer is no….guys and girls👍🏼😁
As a woman who is not directly related to the topics, it's quite interesting to observe Scott who really talked from a grand "winner" perspective, made up his poorly guided diagnosis for the male mental crisis and then gave out his outdated and surface level treatment. Wow. Quite the arrogance. Honestly, he is almost 60 and he only got two teenage kids -- like dude, you barely made it......😂
Rejection is easy. Shrug it off and move on. ACCEPTANCE, having to keep coming up with ideas, about things to talk about, things to do, to keep a relationship interesting, that's hard.
I'm not sure showing weakness is the correct Description. I have witnessed men express their emotions with strength and Confidence. There is a certain grace to it. Not everyone has grace.
Hello you beauties. Access all episodes 10 hours earlier than UA-cam by Subscribing on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw. Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:39 Why Every Young Man Should Watch ‘Her’
09:17 Do Women Need to Give Men More of a Chance?
14:09 Why Relationships in the Workplace Are Frequent
19:22 Should You Approach Someone in the Gym?
23:18 What Young Men Need to Prioritise
30:59 Is it Bad to Show Weakness to Your Friends?
43:08 Men Are Devoid of Positive Role Models
49:28 Advice to Ageing Men
58:03 Where to Find Scott
controle is an illusion
(and i'm an illusionist)
Hello you handsome Chris! Thanks for sharing this talk! 🙂
@@Elmucaroarrebatao The lable doesn't matter so much, as the fact that some traits in human biological foundation can cause trouble - men have theirs, women have theirs. And the extremes of the normal distribution within the genders have theirs, specifically. But I tend to agree, that better knowledge and solutions are found in more precise distinctions - so I am OK with making a distinction between fragilities of the (male, female) brain and (moral, character) weakness. That could be very helpful when figuring out how to co-educate boys and girls to neither gender's disadvantage.
I went to a comedy club in Chicago with a coworker 5 years ago. The girl in line behind me was alone. Started a conversation with her, today we’re married with two babies and thriving.
So cute! I love it!
No. They don't want to feel discomfort..a hundred times in a row.
@@AaronKember the thing about it is you have to train yourself to make that not uncomfortable. When you love yourself and are truly confident, as I was in that moment, she could have totally rejected me and it would not have bothered me.
Exactly. Just approach the situation as friendly and low stakes. If someone is interested, that's great. If not, that's fine too. It doesn't have to be this big thing.@@millenialmemoirs
@@millenialmemoirs It's great how that strategy worked out so well for you (and her)and has resulted in a family unit that's so positive and admirable. But constant rejection can drain a guys spirits and question the whole notion of even trying particularly when they see the type of men who have no problem getting any number of females that they want
I’m 23, I lost my oldest brother last year, and have just now realized I’m kind of lost. I’ve lost a lot of friendships and relationships with guys and girls, had a career inline, but jobs been really on and off, and just trying to find myself and how I can get control of my life and move forward and not fall into the pit of depression. I can’t tell you how much your guys’ talks helped me realize what I need to focus on.
we got this bro
Sometimes the most courageous thing to do is just keep going
Trust brother. You’re mentally stronger than a lot of us was at 23. Things will get better in time just take it one day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself. Also sorry for your loss 🙏🏾.
You’ve got this, you’ve got time to figure out your direction. Sometimes we need to just pause and heal. I lost my brother this year in February. It’s a hard thing to process. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself, you’re clearly driven being here watching this content.
@@CrunchyMatches thanks you added something very positive to my day
Scott's perspective on showing emotion is warped by both his age (generational differences) and spending time around ultra-high-power men.
For Harry Styles and other modern giga chads, the emotional awareness and vulnerability are "truffle shavings" on an already world-class dish.
Among younger (and less successful) men, these qualities don't move the needle because they don't drive real-world results. They need a positive Matthew effect loop - compounding small wins - more than anything else.
I agree at least to 60% with this assessment.
He could also simply mean emotional intelligence and be describing it as outward expression. There is no stage in our adolescent development where we are taught those skills.
How is Harry Styles a giga chad?
@@MisterMonsterMan fame & status. Not to mention money. Plus genetically & physically attractive
Talented too? A musician? All the tingles gentlemen, all the tingles
Vulnerability must be earned by men. Men with status already have.
Developing resilience to rejection is a great piece of advice. I’ve been in sales for nearly 25 years and this is a common trait amongst the most successful people.
It's wild that we can say emotionality expressed on national TV is a push in the right direction for masculinity without acknowledging how few women can accomodate/handle vulnerability/emotion from men. Caleb clearly has a special parents to be able to balance his masculinity with emotionality, especially publically.
Also the inconvenient truth that is touched on a little bit here, women don’t like that shit. We don’t live in a novel, and no matter how many of them “claim” to want men to be emotional, they’ll dump the man they’re with in a second if he cries. It’s a lot like the argument, everyone wants more prisons, but don’t build that shit near my neighborhood mentality
@@nathanwinsor7 It really depends if he's earned that vulnerability or not. I might be swayed to agree that some women cannot handle it at all.
The key here is that men can cry if they've earned it. That can be different things to different women. However, generally with enough masculinity, status, money, time investment, competence, production, and provision for a woman and any man can cry.
@@VodPJ24uEgkkZT This is a blind spot of Chris too because of his masculinity, status and success markers. Reference my other comment.
@@nathanwinsor7 personally, I'd rather date someone who appreciates me for me. Women who leave the moment their partner cries are immature and not ready for a relationship. My fiance appreciates my emotional intelligence. I stopped caring what others thought about my masculinity towards the end of my 20s when I realized most people who hold strict opinions about things like feminity, masculinity, etc, don't actually care about me. Likewise, women who hold strong opinions about gender and roles don't actually care about their partner in my experience.
It's not that women can't handle it, it's more like women are just not interested.
I disagree with a healthy chunk of what Scott is saying but I do appreciate his perspective on young and older male relationships and how these days that’s just asking for trouble. A good place to get that connection in is through your job. My husband spent the last year working with quite a few young men, they are in their early 20s so not as young as Scott was referring to, that within a few months were coming to him with questions about life and asking his advice on things. I know kids coming into the workforce these days are harder than ever to relate to but I think there’s an opportunity there.
I think you misunderstood what Scott was saying, based on what you wrote
Asking for trouble? What trouble?
Enjoyed this podcast.
I didn't know that molested boys are 10x more likely to commit self-deletion than molested girls.
At the start of the video, Scott talks about how one of the greatest skills a man can have is to 'cold approach'. The incurring rejections you have and [hopefully[ build a bulletproof plate of self-esteem can go a long way. Chris from GLL also talks about this as well, since the skills you learn to 'cold approach' are applicable not just for dating, but for business opportunities.
When you can repeatedly take rejection over, and over you stop caring about looking bad, because when you got rejected all the things that you thought in your head that would happen, didn't.
The problem isn't rejection, it's mass rejection. A man could easily, and is very likely to, go through hundreds or thousands of rejections before being accepted. This goes for all dating platforms including irl.
I highly doubt the average man gets rejected a thousand times in real life. If that really happens there's something deeply wrong with his approach.
@@brianmeen2158 I doubt they even approached a woman in real life. I was one of them for a long time. You just have to face your fears eventually or you'll wallow in misery forever.
@@brianmeen2158 It's important to realize that when a woman tells you she's not interested it's sometimes a shit test. A lot of guys don't take rejection well, but if you do take it well you might be pleasantly surprised by her reaction. It happened to me personally. It's anecdotal I know, but it does happen.
It seems to me it's the apps at fault. Do you know how many years it would take to be rejected 1000s of times in real life? And how unlikely it would be.
@@aristocraticrebel I'm not so sure if we are talking cold approach. Unless you look like a super male model (Henry Cavill with a better hairline) I just don't see how cold approach could possibly work. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Scott is part of the problem contributing to men's suicide rates. He's dismissing legitimate concerns and issues that men are experiencing in the current dating and relationship landscape. It's not so much that men are not showing emotions but rather how they are treated as disposable, how they are told they are never enough, how they are told they are the root of the world's problems.
Gaslighter in other words.
And how about telling women to find men that show emotions attractive?
Because generally they don’t. Why is that?
@@onward2727 That's the thing. He even admits that many women he dated lost attraction once he showed any signs of weakness but yet he never holds women accountable.
@@tigerbear3038 There is no "holding accountable" when it comes to attraction. Attraction can't be negotiated. Best you can hope for, is to condition women to tolerate it more. But in the end, the more emotionally stable man will be more attractive, all other things being equal.
@@okaySam I disagree with this. Some rationalization can influence attraction. I personally have done it myself. And, if it doesn't work, I don't see a point in therapy or couples therapy if all our emotions are based on instincts.
I find Scott has hit part of the nail on the hammer. I think in an hour it’s hard to hit the nail perfectly. He’s speaking in generalizations which i think he’s right to do. Everybody doesn’t know how to “fix young men” i say this as a young man who is struggling just like most. This podcast has definitely helped.
Why are we acting like men manifest or express their emotions the same way women do? Men's emotional side is generally anger more than sadness. Most dudes when they're bothered don't want to just "cry" it out. They're f*cking pissed and need to discern a good outlet for their frustrations. Now I personally think men need to stop taking social media as gospel. It's an exaggerated idea of what reality really is, but we can't discount that it will have effect on younger men. They also must understand that the world does not care about you unless you give them a reason. I learned that from Ayn Rand, and not from the public school system.
8:35 Absolutely wrong. Out of 3 men I know who asked a girl from work, 3 of them got to HR and 1 literally lost his job. All in the past year.
And a lot of meetup groups have a one strike policy that will have men banned if they ask anyone out. There just aren't too many safe places outside of apps to get to know women and to ask them out.
The environment that this has created is one where unless there is 100% certainty that a woman reciprocates a man's interest, there is always a risk of losing your livelihood if you approach a women or express any kind of sexual interest outside of dating apps.
I bet that woman really appreciated the interest, so grateful in fact she got the guy fired. How wholesome.
You shouldn't work for any company with an HR department, frankly.
Its really sad. I'm in my 60s. When I was young a huge number of people met their spouse at work. Its a great low stress environment to get to know someone over a fairly long period, before taking any action. I met my wife at work. She ran a different department, so we didn't really work together, but interacted every day. You ask out someone who looks hot when you only encounter them briefly. You ask some out who you are making a real connection with when you work in the same building as them every day.
west is failling because of all these lunacy, look at other cultures that prosper, i will not name them but kudos. They are coming up with CORE WHICH IS FAMILY , and we are going down . GG
Responsibility and appreciation is the core for men's mental health. If they don't have a weight to pull they will feel worthless.
This is correct. When you have a lot of responsibility and are acknowledged for doing a good job taking care of those responsibilities the emotions that once felt catastrophic now carry little to no weight.
I've always been content knowing I could if I actually tried but that's mostly based on past success.
Nobody is able to build a stable self-confidence on wannabe-thoughts and daydreams only (though they play a part for sure) - but a good self-confidence comes from having mastered and endured difficult tasks and challenges. If one just does what comes easy to oneself, one can't even believe in one's own capacity oneself. Laziness and avoidance of struggle impresses nobody, and the one least impressed is oneself.
@@jimmiferfreddette8583 'and are acknowledged' . Does not happen.
When Scott Galloway speaks about men being told, " not to make relationships at work". He's speaking from his high horse.
Ground reality is totally different
@@brianmeen2158 he is speaking to all men. He shouldn't generalize it so much
The risk vs reward ratio is simply not worth the trouble. All it takes is one complaint and your professional reputation is ruined and you out in the street without a job. And based on all the tiktok videos of women in gyms shaming men who even so much take a glance at them, the likelihood of someone lodging a HR complaint for clout or victimhood status is simply too great to risk.
He does come from a corporate background. I can say 100% when I was at Netflix I saw at least 8 people fired for dating each other. Peers too, no power dynamics. Many corporations in the US do not tolerate office relationships of any kind
@@parkmannate4154 the US seems to be like a failed state to me or at least in a very bad condition
Dude I met my gf at a subway job and now we are living together with plans of getting married.
Scott is living 30 years in the past. Most young men these days are very in touch with their emotions. They are over emotional in many cases. The pendulum has swung too far to the other side. Men need to understand their emotions AND where the emotions are arising from. Then channel them to help achieve their goals
Being in touch with your emotions is not the same thing as being emotional.
Someone who is in touch with their emotions is not as reactive as someone who is “emotional”.
Learn to properly suffer in silence.
@@John12512exactly. Emotional intelligence versus haphazardly expressing emotion. One requires an understanding of ourselves, and the other lacks understanding.
These people are all out of touch with the current day problems men face.
@@faismasterx
I don’t think so. I believe that for the most part, having access to enough literature and professionals working on these subjects, they are just showing cowardice. One inappropriate word, one misunderstood tone, and that's the end of their career. This is where we are.
Love Scot and Chris, but if suicide rates are higher, why is "showing emotions" the answer? When the suicide rate was lower, men were much more likely to be stoic and keeping emotions inside. It's much deeper than "letting emotions out."
Correct. Showing emotions won't solve the problem that is leading men into depression. Most of the times it's rational thoughts that lead into a downwards spiral.
Its because Chris Is an agent bro. He thinks he's middle ground when he isn't. I would love to see him Louise perry and Michael sartain
Previous generations were less likely to commit suicide for a variety of reasons. My grandfather was stoic and it was obvious he rarely processed and understood his emotions. I saw this with other men of his generation as well. Just because a person presents a stoic demeanor doesn't mean they have a high emotional intelligence and are adequately processing their emotions or have a good understanding of their internal world. Men today struggle with processing emotions, primarily because no part of our adolescent development includes being educated on emotional processing and learning. Whether you express your emotions to others or choose stoicism, both require the ability to process emotions and learn from them. This isn't the only reason for suicides but contributes.
I think because showing emotions primes connection potential. More connection equals less loneliness. Remember, you're talking about two different time periods.
exactly. when men don't keep their emotions in check, that's when there is violence. there has been an increase in the feminization of men sadly... and women in general are not helping.
I was in Indonesia on the way back to Bali from Nussa Penida when I listened to your last interview with Scott....I think it changed my life ...and his advice to be ready for rejection Les me to talk to a very beautiful girl from Azerbaijan who was on the same boat and we have been dating since then
I love Chris Williamson and i have 2 books from Scott Galloway, but damn this podcast was tough. Essentially Galloway is saying that if you don't have money you dont deserve a woman. WOW!
Im 33 and make the average salary in DC. Im in great shape (go to the gym 3x a week), have a college degree, and even mentor a young man. And it sounds like they don't think I should have a chance. Ima keep fighting, but I don't ill ever make crazy money, so it'll be tough to get a wife.
-> if you don't have money you dont deserve a woman. Womunkind will let you know in no uncertain way.
In this generation. You need to have some type of income to marry imo.
@@QAI145 and this why many men quit. Because this is the way many think. Not to put myself on a pedestal, but if someone like me is struggling, I can see why those who aren't as fortunate, advantaged, or blessed would quit.
If you accept your lot in life, that's fine, but you can not complain about the outcome as well. You have to be what most women want to call your shot. Leverage and options are what matters in the mating game.
@@Kreymore believe me Boss I more than accept my low value. Two months ago I had an overweight girl (granted with a beautiful smile) come up to me, and ask for my number. We went on a few dates but when she got the idea that I don't possess the money for an abundant lifestyle she ended things.
Although this young lady said several times that I was more attractive than her, and my character is amazing, she still ended things when she found out I don't make 6 figures.
My point is that she's below average, in the way men view women, but in modern times women hold the power, therefore I won't feel sorry for her if she dies alone. Women (of all body sizes) ending things when they find out I don't make 6 figures is something that has happened frequently in the last few years too.
Me on the other hand, I continue to save, and have applied to Grad School so I can increase my income.
I accept the fact that I have to do better, but if Chris or Scott expect me to feel sorry for women when they age out of their prime, I'm sorry, but I won't.
There's an idea that every man who isn't in a relationship is porno or video game obsessed, still living with their mothers. This is 200% wrong. Most of my college roommates who live in NYC are also single. The women are looking for the "perfect man" even if they are average in the way we view them.
Sorry for the life story essay lol.
im actually starting to get sick off those episodes where it goes „young men should do this and that to actually get the bare minimum out of life, that our ancestors had granted for hundreds of years“. Obviously theres something wrong with the western world, when there are million of young men across the west suffering from the same problem. The fact is that being the best version of yourself, often isnt enough anymore. This is true for the dating and job landscape.
Feels very tiring
Yeah it’s tiring. Self improvement is the answer to one person struggling. Millions struggling is a societal epidemic. Self improvement isn’t the answer, it’s honestly kinda just blaming you for a societal issue
It's technically true, women want you when you don't want them. Same for jobs. If you're doing your best for you and killing it while not trying to get a woman, that's when you'll get one. Literally all of my long term relationship came from situations where I was working on myself and met a woman. And approached it as freindship first. It's got to be some sort of pheromone they can smell that you don't need them that makes them want to try for you instead
It doesn’t even make sense anymore to be the “best version” of yourself
I'm an old fogey like Galloway. I hear what you're saying. The world's not changing back any time soon, I'm sorry. Look for cheat codes/shortcuts, which are typically getting into a prestigious educational/training program, finding a way into a prestigious career or company, leverage whatever resources you can to set yourself apart from the crowd. And you'll probably have to learn to travel very, very light, so try to be comfortable being alone (or alone with God) for extended periods, and don't think twice about moving across the country or the world if you think there's an opportunity to move the needle. Many of us older folks went through very similar experiences when we were young. But the opportunities did come significantly faster, especially in the dating realm.
"one of the key components of that is men do never learn how to express their are struggling and because they're taught from a very early age that real men don't express that sort of upset"
Suicide rates in men are not rising because they never learned to be emotional and express themselves. Many male children of the 80's and 90's were taught this, what is happening now is they ARE expressing themselves and overtly being rejected or finding they have no one around them that cares. As my successful and beautiful Ex once said, "I don't have time to deal with your emotions." Roger that.
I always feel kinda embarrassed that I fit into the 6s category (6' and $100k+) and yet I still get no dates. I'm not unkempt, look after myself, I try not to mention or make it obvious that I'm wealthy. Yet I still fail
Listening to all these podcasts where they basically say "if you check these boxes you win all the women" it's just not even true. People make other kinds of judgements you cannot control all the time. So I'm just at a point where I try and enjoy my job and the company of my friends and don't desperately pursue women. I do make a moderate effort to make new friends every time I go out, flirt a little and if the girl doesn't reciprocate I just move on
Same here - tall, fit, (just) earning 6 figures - zero interest from women. I've spent a lifetime improving myself and my prospects to almost no avail (at least as far as romance is concerned).
"I try not to mention or make it obvious that I'm wealthy." This is why you fail. Chad and Tate are going to flaunt their money and any other potentially positive attributes to partners. You are actively hiding your worth on the dating market. When you say you "don't desperately pursue women" and "if the girl doesn't reciprocate I just move on" what I'm hearing is that you don't try very hard. That's unattractive to women, that you give up so easily. Scott said in this video that in the vast majority of successful relationships the woman wasn't interested in the beginning, it was only after being pursued that their interest began to generate which sublimates into a relationship. As far as I can tell, you are actively avoiding generating interest in other towards you and then lamenting the fact that no one is interested in you.
"Men should look weak"
I'm not so sure about that.
I often find myself in tears, but I believe that discerning female companions can distinguish between tears stemming from self-pity and those arising from genuine and intense emotions, whether positive or negative. A remarkable woman can recognize this distinction and will offer unwavering support as long as she doesn't perceive your tears as self-centered. I suppose the same holds true for both genders...
"Remarkable woman", lol good luck finding that today
You're talking about a unicorn.
“Elegant persistence”, lol, yeah right😂
Any other guys feeling exhausted by the endless “hoop jumping” that it takes to date these days??? Sheeeeeesh!!
Tiresome, every guy goes through the fire of rejection - the women have little to offer.
The mental gymnastics to shame men for everything. Consider the incentives, stop pretending men are afraid of rejection.
That's a good point. Why suffer the constant pain or rejection if the reward isn't very good? It's a two-way street. If women want men to be traditional and exceptional, they need to be exceptional as well
Yes! Let's follow their line of thinking... If men have gotten weak; and therefore need to grow (face rejection) and mature (process emotions, social skills), then what can we expect women to do? How must women grow and mature? Because honestly, I'm slowly getting tired of so many women being addicted to social media and prioritizing external validation over a relationship. The eternal victim role, women put themself in, is also straining relationships.
@@rupey4582
Chris and Scott are fundamentally feminist. They put down men, take credit for doing something about the problem, to empower themselves.
It's no different than the woman who shames men, lists demands, and tells you she's a queen.
Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
An honest analysis would start with what base level of requirements each sex needs to achieve and the ratio of the opposite sex who also meet the standard have desire. That answer is which sex needs to 'level up.'
@@rupey4582 Exactly - my time is precious! Why should I waste hours and hours on a woman that is both not interested, nor wants to do any effort in maintaining friendship? Scott is really part of the camp where women's time and attention are most valuable, and men's is just trash.
Women have as much to offer as men.
I would disagree with Scott’s assessment that women are naturally mentally and emotionally stronger. I think there are more stresses and less supports for men.
Men get, at an early age that they are considered disposable by society.
Women want a man who is not that emotional because the man is supposed to shoulder the burden of her emotional problems, so it’s expected a man carry his own emotional issues and well as his wife. And this dude calls them weak ?
It's easy to be emotional, you don't have to understand a feeling to cry, you don't have to recognize reasons and changes in your mood to cry. It's just a reaction to a stimulus, just like I don't have to diagnose a intestinal tumor to know my stomach hurts. It is hard to suppress emotions though. Because you have to identify the changes happening in your mood and mental state in real time, realize where it's leading and how to stop it. Men from an early age train in emotional surgery, recognizing a problem, diagnosing it, and removing it before it can cause more damage. Meanwhile women cry "I'm in pain" do nothing to fix it and act like they are world renown emotional experts.
I'm not sure that much of anything he suggested stands true. This was a vain episode.
That QB Caleb Williams didn't set masculinity forward at all. He just showed how soft and coddled young people, specifically men, have become. No men should act like he did. Men are weaker, softer, with mental issues and higher self deletion rate, because they are raised that way. I agree that men need to raise and teach boys to be men, to be mentally and emotionally tough, strong. That's why fathers are so important, especially in this single mother's trend.
Well said….. 👍
Agree 100%.
@@kc6810I am seen as a white “privileged patriarchal male.”
Iv never had it and do not expect it.
@@kc6810 No real man is complaining about lack of compassion for men.
I took control of my life and went from broke and suicidal to married with two kids, a fulfilling career that allowed me to bring the wife home, an investment portfolio growing everyday. Started with fasting and regular exercise. Then I found God. Got married, started having babies. Life’s amazing.
Looks good on you brother, Keep up the good work!
Inspiring brother. Thank you. We need more examples
What BS! Sheesh!
@@georgespiese7388 lol what?
@@georgespiese7388 are you implying I made this up? I’m trying to share some honest inspiration for people lost like I was just 5 years ago. What’s BS?
Edit: I just looked at your other comments on this channel. Can only assume you’re a Bot spewing that negativity.
Galloway reminds me of an athlete who played 50 years ago and now critiques current players who are playing 20 rule changes later.
I met my wife in medical school. About 10 years of major stress crammed into 2 semesters. It is easy to have fun with someone, but in my opinion, the action is how the person acts when stressed. That's how I knew I had a good one.
Saying way more men commit suicide because they're mentally weaker is insane to me, this guy would lose his career if he said that about women
I believe if women where in the same position they would probably off themselves at higher rates as well.
Especially if a lot of the mental stress endured by men is caused by women. Imagine a world where most men beat the crap out of women and then calling weak because they can’t endure
That’s a wild thing to say, it’s because they understand the world doesn’t really care much about them. And they are shamed for being weak. Women don’t have these burdens
@awsambdaman why are men not making other men feel cared for though? If you feel that way about the world please lift each other up! Women are out here online caring for other women and their feelings.
@stopdragginaround The reality is that men are treated as disposable on a large scale, no amount of support from close friends can't make us ignore the massive discrepancies. Men get sent to war, more men are homeless and no one cares, men are treated unfairly in divorce court and no one cares, men receive harsher prison sentences and not one cares, etc.
Women will disrespect men from 20 to 50 and this guy says we should feel sorry for them because after they hit 50 nobody wants them? 😂😂😂
Women put up with a lot of creeps starting as girls. It's at least partly a defense mechanism to keep most men at a distance except the ones they can trust, or take a risk on.
“Disrespect”? Okay dude, tell us: what unearned respect were you hoping for from the opposite sex?
And this is a nice urban myth (women are just worthless over 35…) but I can name several women over 50 who are hotter than over 50% of 20 year olds. So, it’s not exactly always the case. It’s just that past about 40 those bodies (and minds ) are WORKED FOR. And that’s not a bad thing.
Fellas, don’t buy a chick a drink just because she comes up to you. You’re probably just a mark for her. Only indulge if she is genuinely interested
Men need to understand their emotions, but it’s vitally important that you have to be powerful before you can express them.I remember in high school the less I exposed or shared, the more likely I was getting snuck into a girls bedroom window on a Tuesday night.
While I do think his intentions are good, Scott has absolutely no idea what's going on, on the ground in the real world. Best case scenario he's gaslighting men at this point. I think he's a smart guy, he's basically just flying over and waving at everyone below in regard to most of these issues.
I think Sadia Kahn is probably also on that same plane.
He is a liberal man who has always been part of the elite. Just take that into account whenever he starts talking about how much harder women have it. He never had to deal with adversity.
I agree. But current thinking is analytic and inward looking. People are afraid failing. In reality men need to learn to fail. If you are afraid to fail, you are often despate. And desperation never works with women, clients, employers or customers. So long as you cant fail, you will feel desperate and give those signals too.
MGTOW : The only winning move is not to play.
yes
The juice is not worth the squeeze
@@brianmeen2158They're fuckin zooted from inhaling pure Copeium directly from the big bottle. Pure unadulterated Copium
Sour grapes 😢
@@brianmeen2158 I was fed this by UA-cam because I saw a previous interview with him on Diary of a CEO where he described Men problems as white noise and his interest as capitalistic. Galloway makes my skin crawl, he's a shark, I only watched 5 minutes of this interview. He's transparently monetizing single men. MGTOW don't "binge" watch women/dating content but it's OK to watch the ship going down from a liferaft whilst heading for the shore.
6:04 Only six minutes in and I love this point which I have heard plenty of times. Being able to handle rejection is much of the key to life. One of my favorite books "The Social Animal" uses a narrative to teach about sociology and references many other books and papers. One of the analogies that comes is "Askers vs guessers". Personally, I've always been very agreeable and and a guesser meaning I'd hesitate to ask for a promotion or for help unless I was confident, I'd get a positive response. The Askers tend to be those that will always ask and tend to say "The worse they can do is tell me no." And they're completely OK with that. I had to learn that in relationships and my career.
@brianmeen2158 because we've seen that "no" isn't the worst thing.
@@brianmeen2158 just has to happen once.
The other thing you’re missing is that women constantly tell us to not approach them, to leave them alone. So why are we less than for listening? Isn’t that the moral thing to do? It’s hard enough to get over the fear of rejection but to add onto that the belief that you’re actively doing something they don’t want you to do? Isn’t that just immoral at that point
I'm fine with meeting new people but I don't care about women or what women want anymore. I don't want anything to do with romantic relationships. I want mastery and success.
And that is fine. People act like it's crazy to not have your life revolve around women if you're a man because they've made decisions they're not entirely happy with themselves. I wish you all the success and happiness (or at least contentment) in your life, whether that is with a woman/women or not
Bingo! Good for you, and all the best in your endeavors.
I use to love Scott… I use to also not have a fully developed brain.
He has wondered outside of his expertise and has taken a hit in his credibility (at least for me.) It shows a major lack of awareness and humility. Instead of sitting back and reevaluating his surroundings, he has gone full-steam ahead.
He is knowledgeable and confident… but he lacks wisdom. Sometimes it’s better to listen than spout your random take on an issue you know nothing about.
He gives too much credit to women.
Never heard of him until recently when I saw the covid response forgiveness vid. 2nd thing I've seen from him and my initial regard stands for what little it matters.
I actually think that his diagnosis and most of his prescriptions are spot-on. It's his motivations that get me. Men need to do better. For the benefit of who? - Women and greater society of course. Women need to do nothing, just patiently wait for a possible improvement of the situation.
@@anisenkrill6179 Any solution to the problems in dating that doesnt at least include women alongside men is blind to the reality of our dating landscape.
@@anisenkrill6179do you think he thinks women are faultless though? I kind of took it like he was trying to be the role model that he believes men are lacking and speaks directly to them, more so to help them than condemn them.
Interesting insights from both sides. Seeking virtue is the answer to every basic human need: health/fitness, love/romance/family, career/success/money.
Be better than yesterday and STOP COMPLAINING!
"NEVER DATE SOMEBODY AT WORK" Regardless of what this men is saying
I had a female boss once., she was so hot.. we would have these one on one meetings and I couldnt pay attention to anything she said. It was actually good for the company tho, it made me just do my job.. cuz then she wouldn’t bother with me. So I did what I was supposed to do and she focused on the other idiots. Perfect system!
"I'm kinda bummed out that it's kinda clear that I like you better than you like me". Smile. I wanna say this so many times in a day.
I listen to your podcasts and really enjoy them. I'm 44 and it seems now that every aspect of life is so complicated. I hope that life goes back to being as basic as possible, but I fear it will get more complicated and this will cause big problems for future generations.
I’m 46 and things In California are way too complicated. I do well at work but maintaining multiple homes and older cars plus taking care of family is getting to be WAY too much.
At this point, I’m considering selling it all and getting a dog and a trailer and moving to Montana.
Scott actually said in a different podcast that "A key component of entrenchment is the delusion of complexity.". Totally floored me. I'm doing the same as you, moving to the desert and living my way
Btw - most don’t care about male strife and / or suicide.
No one cares - prove this statement incorrect
And if a nest egg or assets are left behind for a female ( gf/ wife )- they care less and only go
Through a social/ societal norms period of grief ( and it is all phony)
I have seen this.
Multiple instances.
Her grief - was all for attention and not a thing more
I think there is a difference between emotionality brought on by weakness and emotionality coming out of strength. Be strong. Tell the truth. Fight for things worth fighting for.
Excellent ! People who fight for a just cause, and who at that moment express their emotions makes us want to follow them and sometimes become better.
You can be emotionally strong (stoic) or weak (reactive) but still lack emotional intelligence.
@@jonathan4831 these two groups should learn from each other and balance it - i don't think there is a 100% stoic person on this planet like we see in the movies. books are theory. but there are a lot people who are easily triggered. men and women.
@@vanessanesener4028I think society could benefit from people being provided education in emotional intelligence skillsets as we would have human beings who have a better understanding of themselves. Strength and weakness are typically just projections of insecurity.
In canada we have big brother/sister programs where folks who want to be role models for younger kids can partner up with young people to do activities and learn from one another. I never participated in a program like it but Ive herd positive things and see the value for both members in it.
I think we need to inspire and influence future generations of people to be genuinely good, dependable people looking to better humanity.
To conclude, i think positive mentors are important to have when learning how the world functions. I think we need to inspire more people to value being good to themselves and the people they care for and learning to care for the greater/global community your a part of.
To those who read what i had to say-thanks and props to these lads for sharing this with us all
I think the "men need to learn to show their feelings" is just a tired old trope these days when it comes to male mental health and suicide. Of course it is important to recognise and express how you are feeling but that in itself doesn't solve anything. There is a lot that needs to be done on a societal level but no-one in authority advocates for male issues
They blame men for not being emotional, but there are way more negative consequences from doing that then there are positive. On top of that most young guys are over emotional and that's off putting for men that would be mentors otherwise
When men show feelings to women they get shunned or institutionalized as a threat. As soon as women stop seeing emotional men as neglected puppies or rabid dogs men will be emotional.
The problem, as other commenters pointed out, is that when men do show their emotions they're punished for it. A certain man's dog would have something to say about that. So why are we still repeating the tired, useless, broken phrase "men need to learn to show their feelings"? Simple, because women can't handle men's emotions. Men are expected to 100% handle their partner's emotions constantly, but unless you're in the top 1% like Chris and Scott showing emotional vulnerability is an instant turn off for men and women alike. When we stop punishing 99% of men for showing their emotions, MAYBE THEN we'll start having more men showing their emotions in public. Until then, the punishments are too severe and the benefits don't exist.
I agree that Caleb example can be an awesome one to foster the masculinity discussion… but one major detail there… most of what we do as a men is a response to what we think is expected from us. Caleb moved the discussion forward but his mom covering his face from the crowd as that was something to be hidden (ashamed of) is a counter punch to that…
she is (even if unconsciously) reinforcing the idea that showing emotions is not a “good thing”… is something to hide.
“The most important women in my life would rather see me dying in action than deciding not to fight at all.” - one of the “curse” of being a man. YOU canta show any signs of weakness
Men look at dating like a job interview and women look at dating like they are casually browsing/shopping.
That story C Bum told about his girlfriend supporting him, knowing he would be able to do what he needed to do, still makes me well up when I remember.
The football qb anecdote, that young man just reaffirmed one of my incidentally observed key factors in success, relationships and everywhere else comes from the unconditional support given from birth through early adulthood by a healthy family.
If you can’t express every emotion to your life partner … leave now.
They are your support & your best friend. If they can’t be there & supportive at your worst they definitely don’t deserve your best. Run …
I’ve listen to Scott in all his whoring from podcast to podcast. Everyone, I enjoy it. Not sure why but he’s a legend to me
Take control of your life step one: DO NOT compromise yourself into marriage gentlemen! The statistics are out, it's a fools errand.
100%, but a sucker is born every minute.
I think this is the key thing most men miss these days. Same with women. You have more control over your circumstances than you may be aware. Realization comes from experience unfortunately, bit if we can just help people understand they have more control if they look inwards, self mastery, self honesty, and integrity out, they'll find much better results and progress in life.
Get away from easy things for immediate gratification, and do the hard work for the long satisfaction. You'll achieve things quicker than you realize and also the hard will become easier, and the easy things will be seen for the superficial, meaningless, and traps they are.
I love how these guys spent this much time arguing the point that men should express their emotions more, and then lay out all the arguments why that would crush you down, and not see the immediate contradiction in that 😂. Guys. Never. Ever. Be. Weak. Especially in front of women.
Scott, write that book. I think your perspective is phenomenal and valuable
This dude is a perfect example of the principle of rejecting the traits that got him to the level of success he currently holds. It was his masculinity that helped him achieve the level of success that he has and yet now in his senile old age is being slowly deprived of testosterone and is now preaching to young men to show more emotions 😂 dude if we were in a wolf pack you’d be the lead because we’d let you get attacked first in an ambush
Thank you
As a guy, it's hard to hit your stride in a sustainable way. There's tremendous rewards and upsides when you do, and you CAN find yourself in this dopaminergic, testosterone-driven upward spiral. I think the necessity of us consistently making the hard choices has never been greater. The accessibility to easy choices has never been broader.
Why nobody notice that there's a difference between feeling and showing emotions? If I feel it doesn't mean that I have to show them, they aren't becoming any less real and full. And opposite, if I show them, that doesn't mean, that I feel them for real. It feels like equality does a bad joke for our perseption. Equal doesn't mean "sameness". Due to psychological studies women are more inclined to neuroticism. They actually react to the world in more sensetive way(evolution role, caring for infants, who are unable to communicate in usual way and you have to be very sensetive to "understand" them) But we make a mistake telling men that "oh, you feel the world at this amount of sensitivity too, you just forbid yourself to show it!". That's just not true.
I think his point is that although they’re are many factors contributing to this, one way how to approach is by building up men the emotional resilience to express when they’re upset and being able to accept the rejection or acceptance. It’s about having the freedom to express how you feel and being okay with whatever their reaction is. They also touch on that older men need to step up and teach younger men how it’s done.
yes, yes and yes
Great takeaway.
No no and no!A previous video from Chris about how the puas (pick up artists)of the pre dating apps era are now incels gives another indication of how when women can choose on the one criteria of looks they do so exclusively.
@@AaronKember even if you are attractive a women won't stay with you if your personality is trash
@@stopdragginaround A lot of those men aren't even interested in any sort of relationship anyway. With surveys showing that the reverse is more likely to be the case.
Any signs of vulnerability is an opportunity for others to compromise you.
0:08: 💰 The conversation revolves around the concept of people doing things for money, with a focus on the legalization of prostitution.
4:31: 👊 The video emphasizes the importance of enduring rejection in sales and personal relationships, and suggests trying out club promotion for building resilience.
8:34: 👫 The video discusses the dynamics of long-term relationships and the importance of teaching young men and women about building and maintaining relationships.
13:24: 💑 The speaker discusses the benefits of national service and co-ed spaces in fostering relationships and competence.
17:51: 💼 Discussion about the impact of power dynamics in corporate settings and the potential for misunderstanding between men and women.
22:25: 🗣 The video discusses the importance of encouraging positive social interactions and the impact of fitness on mental health.
26:47: 🧠 The speaker discusses his experience with therapy and the layers of emotions he has come to realize.
31:25: 🚩 The video discusses the importance of showing emotions in relationships and with friends.
36:25: ⚠ The video discusses the concept of surplus mate value and how it can lead to mistreatment in relationships.
40:51: ⚠ The video discusses the importance of focusing on men's mental health and the hidden struggles they may face.
45:47: 👨👦 The importance of male role models in the lives of young men and boys.
50:23: 👴 The video discusses the impact of aging on energy levels and the romantic or sexual marketplace for men in their 30s and 40s.
55:04: 👫 The video discusses the dynamics of relationships and dating, highlighting the challenges faced by men in their 20s and the shift in advantage as they age.
Recapped using Tammy AI
speaking of relationships did he discuss why swisher kicked him to the crub even after him playing obsequious punching bag
All of this talk and nobody wants to talk about the big, fat elephant in the room for fear of being cancelled. Instead, they talk about how men need to do more.
And yet you don't say what the "elephant" is either.
@@Opal5674 If you know, you know.
Simple answer:
Stoicism
Men express emotions and struggle. It's called anger. Society is not ok with that in the way that people want to comfort a crying woman. You may want to console a young man who reminds you of your child, but we don't have an inclination to do this for men. Not upset by this, it just is.
There’s a huge difference between vulnerability and weakness.
Women will never and cannot accept weakness, but they can and will accept vulnerability.
The difference is, vulnerability you’re willing to do something about the problem. Weakness is defeat, and an inability to understand or able to do anything about it.
Way more controversy about this podcast in the comments then I thought there would be. But it is always useful to see dissenting views on content I really enjoy. Thanks guys for the discussion
He kind of looks at things the way a woman would. Putting so much weight on what things should be ideal instead of what is.
Yes. He's a democrat.
Unequivocally: a woman who respects you less because you express your emotion or struggle is not a worthy partner. Sometimes circumstances dictate that you push through an emotion sure, but a partner who views you as weak because you feel things doesn’t understand what strength is
I know there are emotionally mature women who validate men's vulnerable feelings if the man wants to be heard, understood and is also seeking solutions to his struggles/problems. Such women often support and suggest solutions for such men while holding space so they can express their feelings.
On the other hand, women in general have an aversion to/hold contempt for men who linger in victimhood, blaming others/their environment for their misfortune, acting out, merely licking their wounds without seeking solutions. This behavior can be seen as a desire to be molly coddled, saved, or rescued and kills a woman's sexual attraction to her man because she no longer sees him as a mature adult, but sees him as a child.
@@v9b23j I agree! I don’t think victimhood is attractive in anybody, nor is it a quality mature people nurture in themselves. But I don’t think vulnerability is the same as a victim mentality, and that conflation is where I see so many men go wrong.
@@leviduren5355 Yes, it could be that in certain cases, when men express having shown vulnerability to their female partners and see their partners pulling away, it's possible that what they perceived as vulnerability might have been conveyed more as a state of distress or persistent complaining.
@@leviduren5355 It's not men that "go wrong." Women want men to be ready and able to deal with THEIR problems and they find most male emotions weird and icky. All this "the feelings you ACTUALLY displayed are wrong but if you had displayed some OTHER feelings it would have been okay" is so much gaslighting, and we would never address female emotion like this.
@@fnordiumendures138 I may have lacked clarity. I meant “go wrong” not in the emotions that they express, but that they assume being vulnerable is the same thing as adopting a victim mentality. With this mistaken mindset, it’s tempting to not express emotions at all for fear of false weakness
Personally, i find his advice about showing emotions being beneficial is mostly wrong.
I went from suicidal malaise to driven confidence by embracing the fact that mens value is built via action, and you're worthless until you get your ass in gear and start achieving things.
When i look around, i see far more people in need of work ethic and drive than emotional outlets.
"Anything but a yes is a no". Golden rule when dealing with women, so yes, the chasing game is over
Most women don’t want a guy to hit on her, they just want a guy to talk to her like a person. You don’t need “game,” you need basic conversation skills.
There is some truth to this. But at some point you have to show your intentions...
Also, trust me, the hotter the guy, the more likely she wants him to hit on her.
@@okaySamNot if he's vain or shallow
@@grannyannie2948 sigh, of course, if he has a bad personality.....
@@okaySam As an Australian who was young and drop dead, good looking in the 80s and 90s. I never met a "good looking" man who wasn't gross.
I distinctly remember one, which sums them up. Do ya wanna go out to KFC? I've got a Porsche and I spend all my spare time on the beach. Do you have a g string bikini?
@@grannyannie2948 I'm sorry to hear that. I think men today invest more time into their appearance and from my experience most women appreciate that.
I get a lot of compliments on my looks and I don't think I have a bad personality.
Emotional expression without regulation is just weakness not vulnerability . If you can't say no, your yes means nothing .
We need to bring back separate schools for men and separate schools for women. This would be an enormously beneficial first step. Lots of nonsense would go away.
Regarding Chris's dire talk about men ageing (in their 30s and 40s), it's not that dire.
Yes, your metabolism slows, your testosterone reduces, your energy is less, your strength is less, sometimes your hair is thinning. In our society (North America), very few people are fit and eat well. This means lots of men have dad bods and low energy as early as late 20s. But guess what? All you need to do is take action. Develop and stick to a fitness plan. Stop eating crap.
I'm nearly 60. I decided to get my act together 18 months ago. I'm literally in the best shape I've been in at least 20 years. I'm happily married and not looking for dates, but I get more attention from women than I have in decades. Strangers strike-up conversations with me. More important, my confidence is sky high, I have good energy and I feel great.
Spectacular talk. In an age of glib inane influencers, talking about aging gracefully, kudos. Really inspiring, thanks for doing what you do.
Galloway made some good points last time I heard him on the podcast. This time he's totally off on many points.
It’s not that we can’t endure rejection. Rejection is all some men face every day. And you’re confusing the fact that men shouldn’t face HR repercussion or social ostracization for showing unreciprocated romantic interest in a woman with the fact that that doesn’t actually happen. Because it absolutely does.
Show your emotions to your therapist or trusted male friend.
Why’s he out here saying “It’s not true” when talking about men being viewed as predators in the workplace?
Men didn’t just all of a sudden want to stop approaching women at work, HR makes everything difficult, especially work relationships. So, while I’m all for shooting your shot, to act like you - as a man - can just easily have romantic relationships in the workplace without fear of charges related to sexual assault, harassment, etc., is highly misleading.
Thinking a bit about this it seem like the two are totally disregarding that there is a power balance between the genders. Women and men do not hold equal power in all domains.
Thanks to feminism it has been drilled into society that women are behind on all domains of power and we should give women more power.
And women have been given more power decade after decade.
Now if two people with very unequal power bumps into each other, the one with least power must tread very carefully. The larger the power differential, the less chances are for a balanced relation.
The cherry on top is women holding more power in many domains, yet demanding victim status in all domains. Frankly, it's hard to tolerate. I have a few friends with feminist girlfriends and I don't know how they can endure this torture....
Very nice discussion. I will attest - almost all women- will in general look down at a male who is emotional or shows weakness - she will leave. She will use it against him. The “ back up plan slips into overdrive “- fact
I experienced this myself early on.
I have seen my friends experience- especially at the behest of the female - and blasted later for just that !
So true
Bottom line , reality: no one cares about male suicide, stress, unhappiness, and other things
Bottom line …
It has always been so. Females love dogs and kids . Not men
Lol
As Men, listening to these type of men tilt you towards what the society want us to be. Like wtf, cry but in your circle not to court these low energies
Vulnerability is only seen as a weakness when competency is absent. Otherwise vulnerability is a trust builder.
Crying 2 to 3 times a week is really extreme man. Especially you didn’t cry after a loss in the family.
It’s hard when you have a lower level manager that works his life away for a company never able to be social, and falls in love at work. Then because he has a “minimal” amount of authority you axe him because a girl is salty she got dumped 4 months after the fling.
if you get rejected. most women will be polite..... bro is ooooooold
In person, yes. Women are generally taught to be polite when turning a man down because, if they get upset, we could end up in physical danger. Online, I'd say there are probably more rude rejections from both sexes because there's physically more distance.
Depends on quality of girl
Caleb Williams mom was trying to hide him from the cameras. She instinctively tried to cover up the fact he was being emotional.
They say that we are attracted to things in the opposite sex that were the same in our parents. So, if a woman had a stoic father then she'll be attracted to that kind of stoic quality in a man. Equally, if she grew up with a father who was a writer/artist/creative who was emotionally expressive then she'll be drawn to that kind of man. As a man, this means you need to understand what kind of masculinity you express and then find women who will be attracted to those qualities. For more creative men with a rich and deep emotional inner world, you will have to accept that as this is not the norm for most men, you will be attracting women from a much smaller dating pool because most women will only ever have experienced male figures in their lives who were the stoic rock. The normal masculine schema or mental model that a lot of women have is of a man who expresses very little emotions and who instead loves things like cars, sports and can fix stuff around the house. If you are not that guy and prefer deep conversations about emotions and writing poetry, then, well, there's a price to be paid for being that way. Personally, I'd rather be true to myself rather than pretending that I'm some sort of stoic robot who loves doing D.I.Y and fixing cars. But that's me.
Chris: “feelings matter”. Guest: Football story
Like he’s saying. Sometimes you just gotta keep knocking.
Just started this vid and from the title alone I knew I wanted to watch this one
DUDE! it's not about being affraid. It's about women not choosing men.
Rejection doesn’t have anything to do with my relationship issues. Religion, money, health, and education are the reasons I REFUSE to be involved in a relationship. I love my future kids too much to put them in a bad spot in life.
"Do No Harm ..Take No Shit " ...i love that ...
I met my husband while I was looking at tulips in the spring at the grocery store. It took me 3 weeks to call his number. Number 1 reason I did was because he did not fear rejection and gave me his number. Thought it was funny how he was trying to teach his boys that! I say Hell Yes get out there and atleast ask. No one will melt if the answer is no….guys and girls👍🏼😁
As a woman who is not directly related to the topics, it's quite interesting to observe Scott who really talked from a grand "winner" perspective, made up his poorly guided diagnosis for the male mental crisis and then gave out his outdated and surface level treatment. Wow. Quite the arrogance. Honestly, he is almost 60 and he only got two teenage kids -- like dude, you barely made it......😂
Rejection is easy. Shrug it off and move on. ACCEPTANCE, having to keep coming up with ideas, about things to talk about, things to do, to keep a relationship interesting, that's hard.
I'm not sure showing weakness is the correct Description.
I have witnessed men express their emotions with strength and Confidence.
There is a certain grace to it. Not everyone has grace.
Yup. Just imagine James Bond expressing his emotions... like a gorilla that sheds a tear... that's what they like..