I’ve definitely been there. The good news is that this realization can lead to amazing growth. You will come out the other side, when you are ready, understanding the imperative of creating a life that nourishes and fulfills your soul.
So true everyone notices I’m gone when I’m off to get high But it’s weird it’s like having a home again Kinda kills the urge to get high The they shame me And the junkie in me wakes up again But grandma take me home
One of my favorite Jung quotes: “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” - Jodi Picoult 💯
Perspective of a 27 year old male who is a loner. It does get easier but your definitely changed. People are less interesting and you become self interested. People perceive you as cold too but u stop caring. Also I wouldn't be surprised if it's different for females seeing as raising children takes a village.
its not weird at all its a metropolis filled with diverse people and constant change people will always feel a disconnect in this society where there is massive inequality and the need to differentiate oneself in banal ways from others doing well
I'm 28, I live in Argentina. I have a couple of friends but I don't really feel conected to them, or anyone. And then I look around and feel that lots of people are in the same situation. I see a lot of insecurity in people's eyes, also a lot of sadness and emotional stress. Our society is very sick...
That's consistent with my thoughts. So, what's the difference between loneliness and solitude? It's all in how you perceive being alone. I'll quote French philosopher Blaise Pascal who said: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone".
@Roberto Murillo I've got around that problem by, if no one wants to do something with me, I go myself. Over the years I've travelled solo to many places, taken part in many fun recreational activities, and many other enjoyable pursuits. I've heard some people say: I would do more things if I had someone to go with. If someone else wants to go with me then great, welcome aboard! If not I'll go myself, I can't wait around forever. If I wasted my life waiting around for everyone else, I would still be waiting for my mom to walk with me to my third day of kindergarten.
@The Czarcasm72 :/ All you need to do is be alone and enjoy the peace and quiet to hear yourself think, and enjoy not being interrupted when you're trying to concentrate on doing something or just relax. At home I have on occasion unplugged the phone so I could enjoy the uninterrupted bliss of solitude.
I live an extremely isolated life. I work, I go to the gym six days a week, and I go grocery shopping when I need to. That's it-wash, rince, cycle, repeat. Does it bother me? Surprisingly not really. Most of my friends moved away after college, my mom died due to cancer, and my sister and I were never really close. I learned to just be happy with what you have, that's really the only thing that will keep you sane. Loneliness can be a path to self destruction, but it doesn't have to be. The world is a very cold place, where loved ones die, relationships fail, people get fired, and your health can change over time. The only thing that YOU can be absolutely certain of is that NOTHING is certain, and nothing lasts forever. It may not be the answer we all wish to hear, but facing this has helped me adapt to a difficult transition.
@@Jack_-bo9vg If an individual is unable to connect with other people, how is that "defeatist"? I assure you that this isn't exactly my number one choice, but when you go to ANY social event, what is everyone paying attention to? Their phones. So if people are that disconnected and disinterested in their surroundings which happens to include other people, how does one expect that person in isolation to change the conditions?
@@katenka_ana3997 exactly, i literally don¨'t see any point in improving myself whatsoever, even tho i know i am not dumb and have great potential. My brain just do not see any reason to change. maybe i misunderstood your comment.
It connects because people can talk anonymously or they can talk to people without phsycally being with them, it's just a perfect place to talk for socially awkward people.
I think it makes a lot of sense. The smartphone is a new, more or less easier way of instant communication. People substitute real interactions for virtual ones because why not? People don't do phone-calls anymore. Video killed the radio star. We use words and not grunts anymore. etc etc. When something new comes along, the old ways are forgotten.
I'm 52 and I lost my 14 year old daughter without warning 7 years ago. In the aftermath of her death, I split from my long-term partner (20 years together). I now feel so disconnected. It is so strange to not be part of a family unit.
I hope you’re doing good, holidays are tough, I can’t imagine. Take care of yourself, and be kind. When all else fails, you can always fall back to those two principles
sorry, bud. I know it probably is extra hard, especially during the holidays. I truly hope you made it through OK. Just remember, family is whatever you make it. Reestablish friendships, be that super-cool uncle. You might have to push but get out of the house and go where people are, but don't be afraid to say hello I dealt with something similar where I was depressed and was introduced to a boxing gym by a friend and subsequently joined. That little push was all I needed, some new reason to get up and going. Remember there is a big difference between loneliness and being alone. Even Superman had his Fortress of Solitude. Good luck to you, brother.
Glenn Robbins I completely understand what you’re saying but don’t become too cynical. You don’t know what “most people” are like until you get to know what they’re like. Try your very best to give people a chance, some of them will surprise you.
@@thelastwaltz730 Yea Ik what you mean, & I do Really try to give absolutely Everyone a chance, it's just that the majority of people I meet always fail to surprise me. I've only really meet a select few people that actually do surprise me & they have all become great friends. Even tho just about all of them, except one, live hours or states away. So technology is beneficial in the sense that I've meet a select few people from around the world that are great loving people, but the problem with the other kind of people is that they don't know how to balance it all out, they also don't know how to love themselves, so they just put on an act to try & get others to love them, but then they don't love others like they want to be loved. I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but the majority of people these days seem to be a bunch of brainwashed idiots. I just feel misplaced in a world full of unenlightened idiots. The world needs more love & less violence & negativity, but "people" are either too stupid to see that or for one stupid reason or another just don't care.
@@alisonsnow627 I think you found the name subliminally through the Border Collie name. It caught your eye and what a wonderful dog you and I both have. If loyalty had a picture, it would not so coincidencely be my best aul' friend in the world, my Sammy. Sticks to me more than a thumb tack. What a really nice message to receive from yourself . I hope that you're doing well in this sticky world, and that's putting it mildly.
@@jeremiahtoribio My main reason for living is my border collie and that's not an exaggeration. A dog will never let you down when it comes to loyalty, where as humans......not so much.
@@bordercollie1140 True. Unconditional love can come from dogs and children and parents. In that order and those are the only ones you can mostly depend on. Dogs completely - the others just typically.
I would say that those lone wolf type of people are rare. I would not recommend to anyone to stay alone for rest of his/her life. I am introverted as fuck but I noticed that longer I stay disconnected from other people the more depressed and insane I become. You start to believe all of your stories (good or bad) as universal truth because there is none to tell you that your ideas are completely insane.
Iam a lone wolf. Very misanthropic and cherish solitude. Some of the greatest people the world has produced were loners. Tesla and Einstien to name a couple. People are so superficial and fake these days, I'd prefer solitude.
Wow, crazy how true this is. During Covid, I never felt more lonely. 30 years old, living alone, no pets, nothing. Just an empty quiet house. Nothing but my thoughts, and sleepless nights. I found myself going out to eat a lot more often, just to be around people. As men we don’t want to admit things like this, but I realized I was lonely. I was disconnected. I had material things, but inside I was empty. You start to realize what’s important in life. You start to take a look at your life, and it becomes depressing when you have no meaningful connections with anyone. No father. No wife. No children. Friends who are all busy with their families. 30 hits different, and your view on the world changes. All you can do is keep the faith and just bare the most responsibility you can in your life. This will at least offer some relief, and make you tired enough to go to sleep at night and not just sit there. Go for a run, work as many hours as you can, so you can be so physically exhausted that you pass out. It’s the only way without medication, when you are alone and have no one. As men, no one really cares. We just have to put our boots on, go to work, and have faith that something greater is out there for us.
@@soliderarmatang5664 conservatives talking about their feelings and loneliness is so funny. The first instinct is to just push it away like you are. If all the many many lonely men out there could find a nice wife and start a family then they would but they are lonely because they don’t have a gf. Society has structured our lives around personal responsibility and individualism making us go at it alone in many ways
Everyone suffers, but everyone hides it. If everyone was more open about it, everyone would suffer less. The problem is that everyone kind of sucks, and everyone knows it.
Most of my life, I never really felt lonely. Then I got stage 4 cancer and (at first) a lot of people go out of their way to show that they care, but only if it is something public or they could bring up how "inspirational" i was (usually for doing the simplest things) and get credit just for hanging out with me. It felt a little forced or extra from some people, but at least people were there. After a few months though, people start avoiding you or dropping you from their lives silently, you see yourself go from having people check in on you on a regular basis to having no one call or even text for months on end. Then they get mad at you for mentioning that you haven't heard from them lately and they act like you are too needy (because contacting close friends, seeing if they could come by once every couple months is "exhausting," apparently). Dying alone and in excrutiating pain in my 30s and all I ever hear is negativity and that I'm not grateful enough (if I hear anything at all). Loneliness amplifies the pain and the pain makes you wish there was anything you could do to distract yourself from it, but when people only contact you to tell you how their problems are worse (than dying from cancer, i really don't understand how people can do that with a straight face), steal your medications, or ask for something from you, you can't help but want to die even sooner. I feel like I still have a lot of life left in me despite the pain, but without people or really much of any resources (cancer is just about the most expensive thing you could ever imagine), I truly, deeply understand why relationships are so important, but the longer I live the more people I lose (this is over the course of 2 years or so) and while the pain from cancer in my bones and the chemo-induced neuropathy in my left hand makes it essentially nonfunctional (yet hurt 24/7), there's nothing more painful than knowing you will die alone in agonizing pain long before even just your 40th birthday. I wish people actually cared about each other. And, sure, maybe its selfish but i wish anyone, at this point literally anyone, cared at all about me.
Sending you so much love I wish you can feel it. I hope you start feeling better. I’m sorry people are so stupid. If I knew you I would definitely be a friend to you, but I hope you can still find some happiness in your life in this fucked up world.
I am sorry for what you are going through. I feel your pain. I wish I were there to take care of you because I would not be one of those people who abandons you, for sure. Take care.
I have been taking care of myself since I was 14. All those years....I only needed help 3 times. Alllllll of the reasons that I failed those 3 times was because of health issues. Learn something before you make assumptions.
P.S. How old were you when you were tossed out on your own?? Did you have a key? A wallet? I.D.? Clothes? An address book to call ANYONE besides a RAPIST?? I'm pretty sure you had all those things to help you along.
@@gayleclanton3311 lol bragging about how tough your think you are on UA-cam leads me to believe that you aren't as tough as you think. People that brag about something are usually compensating for the opposite of what they're bragging about.
My grandfather died of loneliness after my grandmother died. Even when we seen him nearly every day after for almost a decade. We just couldn’t fill the void but atleast made his life somewhat more easy. I remember waking up at 4am every morning for years to go to breakfast with him in the morning. And lunch at 10:30-11. And visiting with him later before he went to bed after family feud at 7. I sure do miss him. I miss them both. They were the meaning of true love.
You will always miss them. You can honor their memory by appreciating the example they set for you and your loved ones, and passing it on to the new generation.
@@TahitianTreatSkeetJuice There's a lot of couples who die one after the other, it's super common. To say "there's no such thing" is ridiculous. It's been proven that stress makes you age faster it's a fact that everybody knows. And social isolation alone makes you 50% more prone to dementia. So imagine being super old with declining health and then the person you've been with for 30+ years dies on top of that. You can definitely die of loneliness, even if it's just from not caring to eat or do anything to stay alive. Or by suicide. Or cortisol produced from the stress. I can probably write a list of like 10 different morbidity factors that can be a result of loneliness. You're wrong.
@@pricklycatsss i get ur point and there have been stories but to say its ridiculous not to belive in dying from loneliness, is ridiculous tbh.😂 I know u really want it to be true but u just grasping at scenarios which dont have anything to do with anything really. Im not tryna start anything but just cause u want it to be true and have no evidence to prove it, same as he aint got nothing to disprove it. So saying "you're wrong" is literally cringe and childish.. Get some data to back it up or just agree to disagree 🤷♂️
I learned how lonely we are in States after experiencing a small poor village in South America. The children clung to me and shared their food although they were still hungry. I went there as an outsider but treated was treated as if I was one of them. I think that is what is lacking in States. We are too polite to barge in to other’s lives and too scared to clash with others. We never really connect outside of social media. Loneliness grows deeper as we learn to be not honest to ourselves and just put a facade on our Instagram accounts.
"We are too polite to barge in to other’s lives and too scared to clash with others" I feel that IS the fundamental aspect on why it's so difficult to form any kind of relationships, be it fleeting or new. You've worded it perfectly.
@@austinstout8220 in Latin America people are living in class societies...thats the WORST thing ever...do not underestimate the freedoms that USA provides you....
“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson
This is why young men get into sports. I promise when you truly get invested in a program and when you get multiple young men invested in a program it becomes an infectious family. the aspect of a family comprised of young men the same age is a truly motivating thing to the individuals in the team/family.
It's a great idea if you're accepted by the rest of the group, but if you're the weird kid that the rest of the "team" decides to game up on it might be one of the worst experiences of your life.
I’m Cuban born and raised. Yes, there’s poverty, misery and a lot of bad things in Cuba. I never had a bike or toys or PlayStation , but me and my friends had the beach, rivers and lakes to swim, 1 bike to share for all the kids, we were outside all the time, running, playing soccer or baseball or basketball, maybe watch tv at night after coming back home late. Maybe spent the day fishing or looking fruits in the wild. There was nothing else to do, just to hang around with friends. No need for a gun, no need for a game console, just you, your friends and the whole world out there to discover, no depressions, no suicidal thoughts, just having fun.
Clarice1933 you nailed it, I live in the Midwest, Chicago area. I’m a truck driver and travel a lot. Americans don’t appreciate family, just the fact of seeing very old people driving cars, that makes me cry, those old people have family, I’m pretty sure of that, but their family don’t care about them. Americans are apathetic to their relatives, and that sucks. Money and position are more important for them.
"rivers and lakes to swim, 1 bike to share for all the kids, we were outside all the time, running, playing soccer or baseball or basketball, maybe watch tv at night" That was my California in 1976. Black and white TV. Nothing wrong with it a bit. Now people care which phone I have.
"I think many relationships fail because people expect one person to give them everything they are missing in life that an entire tribe or community used to give." That's really deep Clarice. My ex-wife pretty much did that, she wanted me to be magic instead of just fun and hardworking and _really_ patient with her and so on. And I pretty much did it to her.
The Obedient Worker I am an immigrant from africa. We did not have fancy games or toys but we had tons of friends. We climbed trees. We visited each other. The simpler days. I rarely see kids play outside now a days. God help the kids now.
A Very Stable Genius We Americans used to have that rural, carefree childhood experience, too, but mass immigration destroyed that. At least you still have a homeland where you can bask among your people in solidarity if you so choose. We no longer have that option.
I'm from South America, lived in the States for a while. I really liked living there, but there is a problem of loneliness in the US. I am not sure why, probably the enormity of the country, or the way cities are built or the culture that makes it such an efficient place, but I saw incredible loneliness amongst my coworkers. Now I live in my hometown roughly 250K people, its a walkable city, and every time I go out I meet some 6 to 7 people I know, sometimes relatives of mine. It's one of the puzzles in my life, what makes the US such a lonely place.
We have been taught to be selfish consumers, that money means more than love, and that being alone always equals suffering. I enjoy being alone most times because I do what I want without someone nagging me or telling me I should be doing something else. I come from a big family and yet still most days I prefer solitude. Except for my children I am always happy to see or hear from them because they are good kind people and I raised them to not value money over love and to always be kind but not stupid.
@@ayewey2945 Yea they never learned to talk to people they didn’t know face to face. If you aren’t on social media you may as well not exist to most young people
It's not just the states. I live in Europe, very similar situations, even in East Europe. It's "big city life", but then I heard of villages that are even worse than living alone in a big city where the neighbors don't know you.
@@AstroMartine Yeah I had a buddy from Check republic that told me people were very wary of each other in little villages. Perhaps the soviet inheritance left a serious mark there. However, although I abhor communism, I went to Cuba, and people were jolly; complaining all the time but they even dance when going to the market. Culture and weather seem to play an important role.
Absolutely. It might not be as obvious to people living lives in the range of normal. But, if you have trauma and a toxic environment, there is no other living thing on the planet that will stick by your side through anything. If bet my life that if I walked into the depths of Hell, my dog would follow. She never turns away. Never judges. Never does the “tisk tisk” thing that humans do. Even the ones who love you most can only handle so much. And you might even protect them from your experience like I do. A dog never shames or judges. All they want is to be with you. As long as my dog is near me, can see me, she is fine. And my girl was abducted by my abusive almost-ex, had all four paws butchered with blood splattered up all four legs. Her tag was gone and microchip didn’t scan. Kali, my dog, now has nightmares like me. She has more anxiety than before, like me. She seems to have a stronger need to have her pack around her than before,’like me. I feel terrible that she suffered because I love her. The asshole told my kids, “Mama sure loves her dog. It’d be a shame if something happened to her.” Fucking dick. But my dog is a better person than most people.
@@amyjkr I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are bringing up truth here. I have grown up with a lot of dogs (my parents adopt homeless and abused animals), and the pure love you get from even abused dogs is amazing. Like you said, they never judge, get tired of you or won't accept you. Dogs save so so many human lives each year. I love them.
I've felt loneliness in crowded NYC, where no one really sees me or looks at me... but when I was in a beautiful bucolic setting, in the country side... I felt at peace. Not lonesome. And there was no one else there.. is that fucking weird or what?
@@paumcd www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-wandering/201208/stress-and-the-city From what I understand dense cities have more stimuli, we see more colors, shapes, and people, and that wears on the human brain causing increases in anxiety depression and other mental problems. Keep in mind though, long commutes are associated with heart problems and shorter life expectancy for many of the same reasons.
Crazy how we used to laugh and feel sorry for the Amish. Now I completely get it! They were the ones laughing all along at us. Our society is so fucked up
I don't know how we go from talking about the Amish 2 someone's atheist beliefs but if we can get back to the topic at hand you are absolutely right... I looked at the Amish as a bunch of weirdos but they seem to be the ones keeping it together in a time where everything seems to be becoming unglued. I don't necessarily feel that I would wants to be Amish 2 benefit from their ways but surely there is a medium where our current society can benefit tremendously from.
@lmnop or maybe they weren’t lies and worked for a reason? Just as I can’t prove to you there is a God, you can’t prove there isn’t one. Let’s say being a Christian is the best way to live life even though you believe it’s a lie, would you Deprive your children of the best life because you don’t like to believe or would you follow along to better your children’s life?
Somewhere an Amish person is really wanting to tell you that you are totally full of shit, but they have no ability to click that motherfucking thumbs down symbol;
Loneliness is NOT about being alone. It's about a mismatch between one's social expectations and reality. One can be lonely in a crowd or feel fulfilled with solitude. Loneliness is a widespread problem but it is very different for different people.
I've dealt with PTSD depression and anxiety on an unprecedented level most of my life due to Serious trauma and an incredible amount of abuse when I was younger. I became addicted to all kinds of things mostly alcohol. I live alone and all my friends are several hours away. But I became best friends with someone who is one of the most happily married people I've ever known, they're both some of the best people I've ever known and they have a really big family that's awesome and they are very positive and happy most of the time. I started going to their house to hang out on a regular basis. One time I stayed for several days over a weekend. One of the things I noticed in hindsight after I would leave and go home was that I realized that I didn't crave a drink. Not once. My depression went completely away in my anxiety too. All of the obsessive negative thoughts that I have constantly 24 hours in my head just completely disappeared. I realized at some point when it hit me that what happened was my environment changed. I realized that when I walked through the door of my friend's house his kids would run up to hug me and I felt like I had a sense of belonging. We would play games or I would help my friend put in a garden or do some work around the house. They treated me like I was one of their own. And so it's no surprise that all of us need some kind of community or tribe around us. A sense of belonging. A lot of my negative thinking and addictions went right out the window when I planted myself in the right environment. I still struggle occasionally with certain things but since then I've made a conscious decision to put myself in better situations and environments and force myself to not stay as lonely and isolated as I have been. The difference is night and day. If you struggle to with any of these kinds of things, I would encourage you even if you don't feel like it to change your environment and situation. It might not be easy but it will certainly help you create a balanced positive Baseline to start from and go forward from there. Also as a side note exercise has recently been the other big thing that has changed the game for me. A lot of times I don't feel like exercising but I force myself to get up and go for a vigorous Sprint through the neighborhood or do hundred push-ups and drink lots of water. Now that I've given myself over to exercise better nutrition and a sense of belonging with some good friends things have started to change dramatically. I hope you will do the same. Love and peace.
Trueseeker25 I give a fuck that you are choosing to heal regardless of what anyone else would tell you. That's so awesome that you didn't give up. I have ptsd also and understand the struggle.
I spent 11 years in prison and got out 18 years ago. I wasted another 17 years never having a family. I didn't know how alone I was until I just had twins last year at 47. I've been saved.
I think just like women, men also want to have family. As we get close to 40 it starts getting lonely and worrisome. We deny wanting kids and family because we have failed at it, and then we try to avoid family and friends because it reminds you of not starting family. I’m happy for you brother. I’m 37 but it’s getting hard to not be married and have kids by now. I promised myself to get married and have kids by 40.
I developed agoraphobia from my anxiety and panic attacks and I can say first hand, loneliness and isolation is a devastating thing and the longer it persists the harder it is to break. I'm convinced it will be the death of me.
I feel you... One of the things that helps me with anxiety is simply not caring whenever I'm anxious. usually I'll become more anxious because I notice that I'm anxious. Just go out into the world and don't give a fuck, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose
You've got to keep your hope up! its easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts when you're drained all the time, so you've gotta fight it. Try taking a walk or meditating or baking cookies or w/e when you feel that way. try to think positively. The more you do the easier it gets. take care of your mental state. when you're isolated you've got to rely on yourself to fill that empty feeling with joy. Good luck!
Im a bit on the same boat. Things get better slowly with time. Eventually you'll get so used to it that you stop giving as many fucks and things start getting better. Im always alone but very rarely i feel lonely. i enjoy myself
24Pdaddy appreciate the positive vibes, but tread lightly. As insightful and informative as YT comments can be, they can be equally mind-numbing and soul draining lol
I'm 32, live alone, no girlfriend, my friends are all marrying and having kids, others just don't look for me. I work at home and I spend almost all of my time staring at the PC screen working or doing other stuff like gaming, or watching random yt videos... It wasn't always like this, I used to have lots of people around me but it feels like suddenly I'm all by myself. Well, almost, I still have my parents and I have 2 brothers, and I feel gratefull for that. But thinking about what my life will be in a decade or so its scary and sad. I mean, it's already sad now... I feel alone, abandoned, sad, depressed, I'm a grown ass man and I cry almost everyday because I feel lonely. And I'm not even ashamed of saying it... I'm too tired of this to feel shame. I will never end myself, but some days I don't feel like doing anything, just existing is depressing... And I too think depressions is mostly caused by social factors, I never felt like this a few years ago. At least not this often or with this intensity. I will never take pills or any of that and I do have hope that my life will change. But one thing that I've learn from loneliness is that we need people to share our happiness, a life without people around you is an empty life.
You can find a woman and get married and start a family. Human are social beings. They can't live alone. That's why society was created. Sorry for my bad English.
It’s not too late, I know plenty of people that have found a wife and had kids in their 40s, don’t give up on life yet, you need to work on yourself, try working out at least once a day, get a routine, do something you don’t want to do. get a job somewhere where u are interacting with team members and build relationships even if it’s just a small couple hours a week. You’ll be okay.
@@charlieeleftheriadis9646 this is it right here… work on yourself in anyway you can and use that as motivation to keep pushing yourself so that you can improve your overall sense of self worth and happiness😌 join clubs like toastmasters that help with your public speaking skills and can help you meet new people
@@joeltaveras198 because some people are able to distinguish between reality and bullshit! Unlike trolls like you that search for significance in this world by trashing the true emotions of someone in pain. You don’t even know your own worth (or- in your case, lack of worth). I know who I am because I’ve survived 64 years of hell on earth and actually have enough experience to know what I’m talking about. You? Insignificant worm!
True loneliness isn't just feeling alone. It's also having people around you but being unable to connect with any of them. A level of isolation that makes you feel like being in a foreign land with people of your own culture. Has single-handedly caused the whole array of social anxiety disorders here in the most crowded societies on earth
Solitude brings self awareness and getting in touch with the inner self. Loneliness can be a tool, but too much isn't good. Humans are social creatures.
My aunt came to visit us here in the US from South America. After a few days she said she wanted to go back because she missed hanging out with her neighbors and friends because they hang out every night. Here, we get home, lock our doors and hardly see our neighbors much less hang out with them.
I agree. I collect things. I fix things. I put things together. Alone. It's me and my things and things I create. Bring someone into the mix, and you will lose what's yours.
Japan is a perfect example of what's going to happen to the west in the next couple decades in terms of the amount of single people there. It's extremely cliched, but technology is causing loneliness on an unprecedented scale. It's rotting our mind.
I think Japan is a great example of culture rot. Delusion on a scale of insanity. The fact that tentacle, gay porn for the opposite sex and a ton of other out there shit being mainstreamed is a good example of this. No wonder they're all lonely.
Pacific NorthWest is halfway there. Most clique place there is. No more depressing places to live than Seattle and Vancouver, BC. Ppl are very rude and cold here. No eye contact between strangers. Nothing like the East Coast. At least in NYC they will tell you to shut the fuck up. No matter what happens no one stands up for themselves in public in the Pacific NorthWest
Japan > Rest of the West Considering Western countries are high on the *"loneliest"* country list, including Japan, I say you won't have to wait decades because they're already on par. US living alone population is 28% while Japan is 31% and other countries are relatively close to those, Canada is 27% as another example. The difference is American will continue to be a racial war zone decades from now and Canada as will France, Britain, Germany, Italy, so forth and so on will crumble under the cult of diversity and multiculturalism while Japan remains a homogeneous country.
I realize how “pretentious freshman philosophy student” this is going to sound, but really, as a post-college person struggling with loneliness, my life was completely changed by what I read. The Tao Te Ching is amazing. It taught me to counteract the harmful normative values of the western world. It taught me that being obscure, unnoticed, and silent is a beautiful and righteous way to live. We place so much value on how others perceive us, but when you realize that this doesn’t matter at all, you become free.
Hey man I’m going to try reading it. I’m a college drop out who can’t stand doing boring work online, but I love philosophy and I’m in the process of saying fuck it and joining the Air Force. I’ve read the entire Bible multiple times, the Quran once (HOLY FUCK THAT WAS BORING TOOK ME A WHOLE SUMMER TOO), Art of War, I started Nichomachaen Ethics if that’s how it’s spelled, I also started Meditations by Marcus Aurelius but I have like zero order in my life nowadays and never finish. I’m going to start reading that book man I want to be the best version of myself I can be, if that means alone, shit, oh well. I never really suffered from having no friends until lately, i hope I don’t have to live my whole life alone, but I guess we’ll see how it turns out.
Lol there's nothing pretentious about that. The Tao Te Ching is one of the most powerfully sublime spiritual texts in existence. You might also like "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle which is very much in line with Taoism :)
Home is where people notice you’re not there Sometimes I feel like extremely lonely, I have lived in the same house alone since getting out the Army for 13 years. As time goes on people move on, it gets old convincing yourself to be grateful or not feel bad because it’s selfish. I completely agree with what they talk about. Money, nice things , travel the world , never replaces a person you deeply care for.
I retired from the army a few years ago and have lived alone since. I think ours is a different kind of loneliness.... we belonged once, but now no longer have the same type of connection with anyone. Not with people who used to be in the military, or even with people we were once in the military with. I could disappear tomorrow, and none of the people I associate with would have a clue for weeks or months.
I'm 59 and no children no family no connection to anything. I saw this coming my way my whole life. Just the way it is. I was married twice and I was lonely in the marriages. Being alone doesn't translate to loneliness.
I was just talking to my mother about this, since I am pretty fine with the group of friendships I have in NYC. I get a lot of belonging out of them, I don't feel lonely with them. Yet I know people in marriages who feel very lonely. So just because you're hitched in a proper, socially-sanctioned romantic relationship doesn't mean you won't be lonely. That's one of the bigger fallacies in today's society--privileging marriage and long-term romantic relationships over good, solid friendships.
Being around my family is soul draining & I've been in relationships with a person yet it was the loneliest time of my life. You can't rely on other people to make you less lonely.
I hate it when people simplify things. Everyone needs to be in a tribe according to them but they never talk about people who hate being in a tribe and is draining them.
@@arraikcruor6407 Don't do crowds. No Black Friday bullshit. Ever. I made the mistake of going to Disneyland with friends one New Year's Eve. The lines were so long that in 8 hours we rode 1 ride.(Haunted Mansion, my favorite)😢😠I just walked to the car and went to sleep after that.
Yup....I did learn the saying originated in the Motherland....Did my Ancestry.com couple Christmases ago.....8% Cameroon... 10 and 1//2 percent when I’m wit wifey👁🤟🏽
But back in the day you would literally bring a gift to your neighbor to break that barrier of not talking to them. We as a society have gotten Away from that big time
I’m in a wheelchair too and all my friends bailed on me because I can’t go and do what they want to go and do. They weren’t interested in modifying their behaviors to meet my needs so it was easier to just suddenly pretend that I’ve ceased to exist. At least you have a dog to share your life with! I bid you well!
7 yrs in solitary confinement, no human contact. I know there's something different about me. This gives really good insight as to what i was feeling in there. Thanks for the great people you bring on to your show.
I'm sorry man, can't imagine how terrible it must have been. Now that is over just know that there are people out here that care and want to break this bubble of loneliness once again (in the real world). People like you are rare but exist, we just have to keep looking with a smile on our face.
@@emerax6306 its a hard adjustment. Its strange but there are these cycles in my life where i find myself crav8ng that loneliness feeling. I close myself off from everyone just like i used to in that cell. People think im insane for always singing out loud. But little do they know that my voice was my companion in that cell. My thoghts were my enemy therefore i sang my ass off. I sure as hell got bent. But never broke in there. So i thought. Now i acknowledge my brokenness and am sure to apple super glue from time to time to keepnit together. And now as i go blind it makes it that much harder to wake up and smile. But God knows i do.
The older I get the more I face the reality that I will be alone and lonely for the rest of my life. I never wanted it that way but no matter how much I try, people just don’t want to be around me and or I don’t want to be around them because I see how nasty and terrible people are.
This was insightful of you, to realize the path you are on is headed there, what has helped me, not enough cause of ignorance or avoidance is sex therapy
i agree i feel like most people are faking everything , instead of being themselves . they want to look virtous and popular and nothings wrong in life . i hate being gaslit lol . hope all is well Richard !
I was a super high achieving student in a crazy competitive field. And no matter what else I did- exercising outside, vacationing, hanging out with people, etc, the most joy and peace and LIFE I’ve ever felt during that time was when I just turn off my phone, go out into my parents garden, spend 2 hours picking weeds, picking my lettuce and kale, bringing it inside, spending another hour picking through it meticulously, then making a salad from scratch and sitting down and eating it.
Sounds great😊 That right there sounds like utopia. Sometimes it’s a gift just to be able to slow down & really be able to let yourself enjoy things like that.
I think some people who have stayed alone have experienced the worst of people. Being alone becomes adjustable for some I think. Getting in a relationship every once awhile passes time. I respect people how ever they live their lives.
I'm in my forties, I've never been married, No kids. Not even many relationships in my life. There are some lonely nights and it gets depressing. However, my father said loneliness will make you stronger and he is right. I've gotten used to it, It motivates me the loneliness to go to the gym and I've built my body pretty well over the years. My meditation keeps my mental state healthy as can be as well.
I thought I was lonely, then I started eating better and working out and making music, and I realized I didn’t really need company or friends 24/7, and I’d rather be alone doing what I love. Sometimes you can fix loneliness
Absolutely. I feel that marriage is a scam. The woman who changes, stops talking to you, stops asking how your feeling, stops showing love physically etc like the way she did so you'd marry her.......should NOT be allowed money or a settlement in a divorce. Since she lied or broken the marriage agreement she should GET NOTHING. THE MAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEAVE WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE THE MONEY , THE HOUSE OR KIDS TO THE ABUSER.
@@Mark-zs7sz Stop dating or being around people for their looks. Don't even be friends with someone who doesn't share the same views about the world, life, working, values, etc. Men choose women based on looks, and then wind up with problems. The whole game of sexual attraction...the men use sexual attraction as the main reason for picking their spouses, and it's just headed for problems. You need someone who has had to go without things, who understands what is important, who has gone without luxury items, or even the basics, so they truly find some sense of ground about the world they live in. Someone who has always had all of their needs met never has faced this.
The pain of loneliness is excruciating, when I was younger, I felt like I had time to rake care of the problem, but now that I'm 36 I feel like my time Is running out...this breaks my heart...
36 is the prime of life. So much to look forward to! But its not always that way. It's easy to talk yourself into being depressed and feeling hopeless when we are upset. I was the poster child for that stupidity. but the reverse is also true! Using positive statements may feel silly at first but that shit WORKS. Otherwise you may need to see a professional. Oh and get your ass outside. Talk to people. Get to know your neighbors. This stuff is hard for me but I'm so glad I did. Senior citizens usually appreciate someone to talk to and nearly always they have the best stories of bravery, love , Adventure and deep sorrow. Plus sometimes they have a sexy granddaughter or son who is so grateful to you. LOL
I know how you feel. I’m 51 and I’ll always be single. But in my case I drank for over 35 years. Been sober for 2 years. Was born drunk. I probably will always be alone and alcoholic. Never had a relationship or been in love and its way too late. I hope this makes you feel better that your not alone as far as your situation goes..
I'm a Brazilian and I been in America for a little longer than one year. Everyone there was very lonely older or younger. I believe that's a lot because of the culture Americans really live in their own bubbles but right now because the lifestyle became so fast and also social media people are isolated in it. Brazilian people are very social and talk to anyone anywhere If you try to cheap chat with an American it's almost like you're cursing them
They tried to put my daughter on stimulant meds, saying she would never function without them. She graduated from college with a 4.0. They tried to put me on an antidepressant. I just needed exercise. They medications are appropriate for some people, but damn, not everyone!
I was put on adhd meds while in college...went from a 2.6 to a 3.1. They do generally work for people who genuinely have trouble focusing in academics. Bad grades in college can severely reduce your employment options and possibly ruin your life. Outside of academics I wouldn't recommend it though.
Same happened to me in a private kindergarten class. My mom was like, "nope," and just homeschooled me until 9th grade. I'm now a college grad slated to go to officer school for the army.
I'd say the biggest problem is that we are being made to live longer but not being told how to properly live.... I don't even know why ppl enjoy being alive, a lot of ppl are dying out there mentally... And for what? New car? House? And then die anyway?
come on man don't you want that nice new car? It's only $504 dollars a month! Anyone can afford that! So many people throw their life away into expensive cars and houses when that money could be used for camping and exploring equipment or other hobbies instead
@@OhSleeper11 The saddest irony is, they spend all that money on a house and they barely spend any time in it. Their whole day is spent working to pay for it, and the only use it to sleep
We are being told though. by The Holy Bible.. You're spot on about the futility of collecting treasures here. When you collect treasures through works, Those are eternal! Salvation isnt through works, but a free gift given to us by Jesus for repenting for our sins. Take the leap, if not for this life, for the next.
When I was in my teens and early 20's, loneliness was a really palpable emotion. I would legit feel depressed if I had to spend a prolonged period of time by myself. Now after 30, when it comes to socializing I can take it or leave it. Idk if it's just getting older or possibly the covid lockdowns changing my perspective, but my interest in going out is legitimately non existent. Just the process of getting ready, showering, getting dressed, taking a 40 minute train ride to the city then an additional subway while dealing with crowds of people just to grab dinner or drinks, a relaxing night in watching a movie or show from the comfort of my home sounds much more appealing lol
@@thetruth9816 I think his point is he doesn't like to get ready and to take a lot of time out of his day for something that he's not even looking forward to doing
Time helps ease the pain. It’s hard but when you go through all the emotions your going through now it’s we’re you grow the most as a person. Chin up it gets easier that’s for sure
Hope you’re doing better now. Things happen, but we have no choice but to move on. The bills don’t stop coming in, time doesn’t stop, the world keeps going. She dumped you, she didn’t care about you anymore. So you shouldn’t either. Don’t ever let a human being have that much power over you. Why should she have the luxury of moving on, while you feel like 💩. Man up, move on & live your life. Don’t ever stop exploring the great possibilities and wonders that are in this world. Especially not due to another human being that’ll pass away too and eventually be easily forgotten from this planet just like you will.
pls dont have children because you are lonely.... children are not born for your emotional needs.... Edit: meaning: your emotional needs dont overwrite your child emotional needs they are their own person no matter how you feel about it good or bad.
Miłosz Zyga it should not be that way. The kid is going to be an adult eventually. If you have the kid to ease your loneliness, what’s going to happen to him/her when you pass away? Assuming the household was lonely to begin with (ie. Lonely parent)... now the parent has passed on the lonely burden on the child. That’s cruel and selfish.
“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams..
It has to be the height of irony that we live in an age where the ability to communicate has never been so abundant (cell phones, internet, fax, ground lines) . I mean EVERYONE has a phone right next to them 24/7. And yet actual meaningful communication is near zero.
That's because mobility and choice have directed us towards others who have the same narrow outlook. It hasn't brought cooperation and tolerance towards our closest neighbours.
I live in syria.. We have bombs and war and all kind of shit.. You would think that I will say we don't have loneliness... But damn loneliness isn't a privilege that just exists in USA and Europe.. It's real.. But it is more likely to happen to people who have emptiness inside or been traumatized or had bad parenting....i found out that I should fight it just like any other bad circumstance .. In the end we are all trying to survive this world
When I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, it actually helped me a lot. It’s still hard but it helps me to understand and listen to my body, which makes it easier to not fall in it. Instead of me here thinking it was all laziness. I think some people do need to hear their diagnosis to help them become aware of themselves and the state that they are in so that they can progress and maneuver through life.
@@coupleofbeers31 Agreed. I used to live in the US. After college, I moved to Canada. I love it here. Nicer, warmer people. Fresher air. I've found myself less stressed and a happier person here.
I understand that feeling -- but believe me, if you are not happy without a partner, you will not be happy with one. Your happiness cannot be dependent on someone else's presence and your relationship will not be healthy, because you will be expecting your partner to fulfill needs that only you can fulfill for yourself. That is unfair to your partner and will leave you just as unhappy. The only difference is that you will also be making someone else unhappy, too.
i have a friend like you(in our 50's) he never had a serious GF, he's a mildly odd bird...i finally met an internet chick and has been doing great. he has a home and good long hour job and thought he'd never get a chick or even know how.
We live in such a broken country and we don’t even know how it could be any different. We all keep to ourselves. We don’t invite people into our lives. We think privacy is the most important value. We’ve forgotten how to treat each other with respect and dignity. We don’t acknowledge each other or put value in each other. We often treat human beings like we’re worthless and insignificant, in favor of valuing work, money, “success” or status, often at the expense of others. We’re constantly competing with each other for dominance, sometimes, denigrating, humiliating and bullying each other in the process. And when we do feel depressed, when we do feel worthless and insignificant, we don’t say, “Hey, we need to change the way we behave towards each other. We need to love one another more.” We say, “Take this pill. It’ll numb what you’re feeling.”
I'm 43 and never had a family growing up my mom was always partying I haven't talked to her in 20 years and I never met my biological dad it made me tough and strong physically but always affected me mentally even though I would never admit it now I suffer from addiction .I hope and know I will beat this problem and find happiness one day.
Hello there the tough exterior is a shell but shells will break in impact. I hope whatever you had to protect with that shell, you can learn to care for it because it is the hurt you’re protecting. God bless
I wish you happiness. I also dealt with addiction my whole life. My father was sober, but a workaholic and my mother she pop pills. It was a drunk before I know her but she still love me and try to raise me the best she could she’s passed now and I really miss her a lot now I got my dad he’s 74. I try to do the best I can and spend time with him and I have a dog but I’m only no girlfriend and I’m in a small town and the people are not friendly any change, but I’m focusing on being happy and solitude, and try not to feel lonely, but I know I need companionship.
1) You don't beat addiction, you surrender to its power and take steps to not do the behavior without having to choose to not do it 2) chasing happiness is stupid and impossible, chase joy instead
"So I went to the doctor, see what he could give me He said, son, son you've gone too far, 'Beause smokin' an trippin' is all that you do, Oh right now!"..Ozzie and Black Sabbath
One of my best moves was moving away from “negative FAMILY MEMBERS.” My life opened up and I never felt better. I never came home for any holidays. I truly needed to heal. It was a family of bullies. The women were the worst too. Since they learned to treat every man like shit because that’s how they were raised. I saw all of their bullshit women manipulation false power. They made me laugh saying they were strong women. No, no no. Putting others down and constantly ripping on anyone different isn’t strong....It took years for them to change their behavior. I actually had a mental breakdown from years of their abuse and finally called them out on it. I wasn’t even living near them at the time, but this is how much I was hurting from a kid to a man. Things have finally been better and I’ve forgiven them. My friends are the ones I truly trust. My family has zero emotional support....my friends have never let me down. Just as Mr. Feeny says “you don’t have to be blood to be family...” I still will always watch my back and have my boundaries though. I have been working on forgiving them. It’s so hard because I still don’t trust them fully. How my mom and sisters treated me all those years. If you’re family is poison to you. Get the hell out and live your damn life!!! It was the best decision I ever made was to leave and enjoy life all on my terms. Try and forgive because if you don’t you will continue to harbor all that hurt and pain and anger. Listen to Don Henley’a song “The heart of the matter.” I’ve been letting go of the hurt,pain, anger, hate...yes hate...for over 2 years now. I feel a lot better and they show better support. People can change. BUT you may still have to set boundaries. I’m finally loving myself as I’m on a new lifestyle change. I’ve been exercising, eating right and lost 27lbs in 1 month. I have a goal of losing 70 total lbs. This lifestyle change has helped slow my anxiety and depression down. I feel so much better now. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST EVERYBODY. That’s the one thing I’ve never done. Years of hating myself for my weight or what family said about me. Accept yourself and know you are a great man or woman. That you have so much potential in this world. Quit beating yourself up. Do good to others and be good to yourself. Things will be alright brothers and sisters! Keep your head up and your back straight. All of my life I’ve walked around with my head down and my back bent. I had a co worker tell me they saw how my posture was. Ever since she said that to me I try and work on my posture still to this day. I still struggle trying to keep my head up and my shoulders and back straight. Many years of childhood pain have made me that way. Never feeling loved. Anytime I’m in public I tell myself head up, back straight, shoulders back. My confidence is getting better from my lifestyle change. Also being alone isn’t horrible. You truly learn a lot about yourself. Yes I believe we all deserve and want love. Do not force it and do not settle just to not be lonely. Make a change in your life. Something small and simple or something that will give you great benefits. Exercising and eating right and staying away from alcohol for me has truly helped me. I wish you all the best in 2020!!!
I'm 24 and I've never felt like I've fit in. I've spent my late teens onwards devoid of true communal kinship. I have a few friends here and there which I almost never see. Some people do care about me, but I've not had any success in forming a real community. Outside of my family, I'm nobodies favourite person. I am a loner. I also have poor discipline, I'm insecure and I've never tried my hardest at anything. I am making strides and in 10 years time I hope I am still healthy and I have done myself justice. I know I'm capable but it won't be easy and I don't know if I can hack it.
Hey man. Why did you write this comment about me? Not cool dawg. Joke aside, exact same situation and feelings as you. 25 is coming soon too. It’s a rough journey. I hope you find your happiness.
I was a salesman on the road for many years. My customers became my friends. We ate meals together, sometimes drank beer together. My employer left me alone. I took care of their problems. A few years ago things changed. The company wanted to do business by e-mail. I should stay at home. It became a "job", no longer fun. I left. Computers have made us isolated. So sad!
Try vitamin D. It's seems weird. But I had chest pain for many years. I thought it was soul pain. And it's stopped when I started taking vitamin D to prevent COVID-19 complications
Thats one thing I noticed while living in Colombia for almost a year is how much more friendly people are over there and much more sense of a community, the problem is in the US is people are alot more selfish and only cares about themselves and it is depressing
Exactly. Especially in certain parts of America like New England where I live all people do is backstab you here. They think they’re better then you and can do no wrong, seems like everyone here has a superiority complex. But go to a place like Brazil or my country of Dominican Republic and people treat you like a human being and actually like you. No god complexes or any selfishness. The US is ridden with greedy people and selfish narcissists, and they wonder why they’re lonely.
Ugggg this is going to be me. I'm 35 and have been living alone for the past 7 years after two horrible breakups. I was engaged to the first girl when I was 24 and she cheated on me after 3 years. A year later I met a better girl and we lived together for a year and a half but then she ran back into a guy from her high school days and eventually left me for him and got married. I lost my mojo after that and have not even tried to date at all and have been isolating myself from everyone and have been living alone for the past 7 years. And on top of that, I just lost a good job and am now on unemployment. Each year just seems to get harder and harder. Seeing my family on Thanksgiving the other day was rough to say the least. I'm definitely becoming "that guy"
Hope your life has gotten better since you posted here. If it hasn't then just take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Whatever happens, do not be hard on yourself.
It is totally natural to go into a period of isolation after being burned twice like that. I think you have to start with seeing value in yourself. The bad behavior of other people does not diminish your worth. Your employment situation does not diminish your worth. At the end of the day, we are all in this together. From the Earth we come, and back into the Earth we go. Life is short, strange, but remarkable. Each person is a universe in themselves. I think once you realize that your worth as a human prevails through all misfortune, you will get the confidence to start putting your life together.
Stop trying to fit into the mold that doesn't want you. Dedicate yourself to those pursuits that don't require other people. Be self-sufficient both economically and emotionally. Live a life, dude. It's happening right now. Not later. Not in a few years. NOW! When you've settled into your "aloneness" and are "ok" with yourself is probably when it will all start to come around. Every second you spend wondering where your 2.5 kids and house are is a waste of your valuable time. Others, even your family, will constantly raise the bar on their expectations of you. Holding somebody else down makes people feel like they are getting ahead. YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE THEM. NEVER. Pick your path and pursue. There is nothing else.
The closest bonds that you will ever form happen in the first half of your life. This is why modern technology, the derailment of religion and morals, and the abandonment of the "arranged" marriage have made marriage not possible for many. Most people who don't have the close relationships as a child still intact rarely find happiness in a marriage for these reasons. The level of trust and personal connection between people whom meet as adults just isn't there. It's a sad reality that many don't want to face, and this is why divorce is so incredibly high.
A big problem is our phones, IMO. The other day I saw a whole family having Sunday breakfast at a diner, and everyone was quiet, staring at their phone the whole meal. They preferred the company of strangers on Instagram over their own family
I am heading this way... 45 yrs old... was focused on my career and now because of covid the career is in the shits.. no friends.. no significant other..financially ruined and my family lives overseas.. Started to take anti depressant last month because it was difficult to even get out of bed.
I was 26 back in 06 worked in auto industry near Dayton Ohio. Made good money went to school to be a machinist all that went away. Nobody could or wanted to help I leaned toward wanted to. I still can't help thinking something good will come but I've just been treading water since. No family of my own is the most regretted thing what I wouldn't give for a family.
@@beachmasterX it is difficult isn't it? One day, I stopped calling " friends", maybe a month into the Covid Pandemic. The day I stopped reaching out is the last day I ever heard from anyone. The feeling of not existing is hard.
Hey man, I'm sorry to learn that. I just wanna say you may wanna be careful with anti-depressants. They can cause a lot of problems. I've been down that road. I've suffered from depression and got a lot of benefit from a book called "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi.
@erni muja a lot more jump of buildings now , suicide rates are rising and rising . Any other 'disease' that killed this many people every year would be labelled an epidemic.
As an immigrant from Europe I really believe this a serious problem in US, especially in California. I see people developing all kinds of internal mechanisms to deal with that.
I love being alone, the only time I feel stress or anger is when I have to interact with other people. When it’s just me I’m at total peace. Wish everyone else was as secure with being alone as I am.
Awesome! You have the makings of a happy life and I envy you. Avoid most of the world's people if you're a natural introvert, you'll avoid a life of pain, waste and bullshit. We're all still social animals though--but only ONE person you like is plenty. The only problem is that women insist on popularity in guys, so if you're the guy you're still largely screwed if you want a girlfriend--even a nice one. I've come to the conclusion that for guys, one person they're fond of is fine. It's all they need. This obsession that our society has with popularity as a part of image is rather pathetic actually, regardless of whether you're 16 or 60 (or anything else.) Socializing is fine, falling apart inside if you can't do it constantly and incessantly is lameass.
![How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I19btmIBhx0/mqdefault.jpg)
![How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]](/img/tr.png)
The only thing worse than being alone is being trapped with people you can't stand.
I am IN. THAT. BOAT. my friend....
Agreed
Exactly
That’s why I quit my job.
I’ve definitely been there. The good news is that this realization can lead to amazing growth. You will come out the other side, when you are ready, understanding the imperative of creating a life that nourishes and fulfills your soul.
"Home is where people notice when you're not there."
Damn.. I’m getting weepy eye.
ua-cam.com/video/rS0VQOHX7lM/v-deo.html
Martin Sigaard Madsen
Oh snap! Thanks!!
I’ve only seen a few episodes so never really learned the theme song.
I guess work is my home
So true everyone notices I’m gone when I’m off to get high
But it’s weird it’s like having a home again
Kinda kills the urge to get high
The they shame me
And the junkie in me wakes up again
But grandma take me home
So I'm homeless, is what your saying?
One of my favorite Jung quotes:
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
Alex Drax
"The world hangs on a thin thread and that thread is the psyche of Man."
- Jung
The way the country is now, "or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible", is going to apply to a lot of people who are honest.
great posts everyone
having no people about one, didnt understood that.
That is ridiculous, like everything Jung has said.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” - Jodi Picoult 💯
😭😭
Perspective of a 27 year old male who is a loner. It does get easier but your definitely changed. People are less interesting and you become self interested. People perceive you as cold too but u stop caring. Also I wouldn't be surprised if it's different for females seeing as raising children takes a village.
@@rickym18 so what is it for you then?
Yea ppl do disappoint. Like ppl who think they know why you do what you do by projecting, for example. /s
Some people just cant put out a fake persona like majority of western culture
It's weird how lonely one can feel in a city full of millions of people...
Go find another lonely person to be friends with
Keep adding more lonely people ...until you are happy
its not weird at all its a metropolis filled with diverse people and constant change people will always feel a disconnect in this society where there is massive inequality and the need to differentiate oneself in banal ways from others doing well
Llib Derku you are who you are no matter where you go
Los Angeles
Llib Derku yea.. i have thousands of people surrounding me but feels lonely af
I'm 28, I live in Argentina. I have a couple of friends but I don't really feel conected to them, or anyone. And then I look around and feel that lots of people are in the same situation. I see a lot of insecurity in people's eyes, also a lot of sadness and emotional stress. Our society is very sick...
totally right and i thought that latino countries were way more social, i think it is the same thing all over the world....
have you ever talked about that with them
Not colombia tho we are way more social
@@kayholand_ argentina es more close to europe than "latino" countries...we are more cold.
@@alejandroldavidlagos didn't know about that and I feel you, I also live in a country like that...
Loneliness is hell. Solitude is peace.
Never thought about it like that, but that's a really good way to put it.
That's consistent with my thoughts. So, what's the difference between loneliness and solitude? It's all in how you perceive being alone. I'll quote French philosopher Blaise Pascal who said: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone".
@Roberto Murillo I've got around that problem by, if no one wants to do something with me, I go myself. Over the years I've travelled solo to many places, taken part in many fun recreational activities, and many other enjoyable pursuits. I've heard some people say: I would do more things if I had someone to go with. If someone else wants to go with me then great, welcome aboard! If not I'll go myself, I can't wait around forever. If I wasted my life waiting around for everyone else, I would still be waiting for my mom to walk with me to my third day of kindergarten.
TRUEEEEEE!! and the problem is that people mistake both words and they have very different meanings!!!
@The Czarcasm72 :/ All you need to do is be alone and enjoy the peace and quiet to hear yourself think, and enjoy not being interrupted when you're trying to concentrate on doing something or just relax. At home I have on occasion unplugged the phone so I could enjoy the uninterrupted bliss of solitude.
what hurts the most is being surrounded by people who make you feel alone.
@@fabulouslivinglifefacts
Nah, being COMPLETELY alone surrounde by NO ONE is worse than being surrounded by people
tru, also when you feel good the opposite can happen, people get angry jeaulous, ect.
That's what Robin Williams said. And he had severe depression.
Not really. What hurts you most is your own mind. Your attatchments, your expectations. These are what hurt you.
I live an extremely isolated life. I work, I go to the gym six days a week, and I go grocery shopping when I need to. That's it-wash, rince, cycle, repeat. Does it bother me? Surprisingly not really. Most of my friends moved away after college, my mom died due to cancer, and my sister and I were never really close. I learned to just be happy with what you have, that's really the only thing that will keep you sane. Loneliness can be a path to self destruction, but it doesn't have to be. The world is a very cold place, where loved ones die, relationships fail, people get fired, and your health can change over time. The only thing that YOU can be absolutely certain of is that NOTHING is certain, and nothing lasts forever. It may not be the answer we all wish to hear, but facing this has helped me adapt to a difficult transition.
Deep Poetic Society
Depressing
@@a.morais1186 Perspective
Depressive and defeatist.
@@Jack_-bo9vg If an individual is unable to connect with other people, how is that "defeatist"? I assure you that this isn't exactly my number one choice, but when you go to ANY social event, what is everyone paying attention to? Their phones. So if people are that disconnected and disinterested in their surroundings which happens to include other people, how does one expect that person in isolation to change the conditions?
I feel like the way we live is not shaped for the human spirit
exactly.. our values are screwed up and the brain would rather be miserable than try to make some changes. Misery = comfortable. This life sucks
This is so very True, Thankyou for sharing
Sebastian Junger's Tribe
Agreed
@@katenka_ana3997 exactly, i literally don¨'t see any point in improving myself whatsoever, even tho i know i am not dumb and have great potential. My brain just do not see any reason to change. maybe i misunderstood your comment.
its weird how the screen simultaneously connects us and divides us to such a vast degree.
It doesn't connect us as much as it divides us
It connects because people can talk anonymously or they can talk to people without phsycally being with them, it's just a perfect place to talk for socially awkward people.
Wow so deep. So thoughtful. So inquisitive
Best comment on here
I think it makes a lot of sense. The smartphone is a new, more or less easier way of instant communication. People substitute real interactions for virtual ones because why not? People don't do phone-calls anymore. Video killed the radio star. We use words and not grunts anymore. etc etc. When something new comes along, the old ways are forgotten.
I'm 52 and I lost my 14 year old daughter without warning 7 years ago. In the aftermath of her death, I split from my long-term partner (20 years together). I now feel so disconnected. It is so strange to not be part of a family unit.
I hope you’re doing good, holidays are tough, I can’t imagine. Take care of yourself, and be kind. When all else fails, you can always fall back to those two principles
I wish nothing but love and peace to you bud
sorry, bud. I know it probably is extra hard, especially during the holidays. I truly hope you made it through OK.
Just remember, family is whatever you make it. Reestablish friendships, be that super-cool uncle.
You might have to push but get out of the house and go where people are, but don't be afraid to say hello
I dealt with something similar where I was depressed and was introduced to a boxing gym by a friend and subsequently joined. That little push was all I needed, some new reason to get up and going.
Remember there is a big difference between loneliness and being alone.
Even Superman had his Fortress of Solitude.
Good luck to you, brother.
I’m sorry man
So sorry to hear that - hang in there
I hate being single, but the way most people are these days makes me want to stay single.
Yeah it fucking sucks, if i didn't have family and hobbies that i love, i'd blow my brains out...
hxanthine More power to you! Just be up front and honest with those guys so you don’t end up destroying a human life 😃
Glenn Robbins I completely understand what you’re saying but don’t become too cynical. You don’t know what “most people” are like until you get to know what they’re like. Try your very best to give people a chance, some of them will surprise you.
@@thelastwaltz730 Yea Ik what you mean, & I do Really try to give absolutely Everyone a chance, it's just that the majority of people I meet always fail to surprise me. I've only really meet a select few people that actually do surprise me & they have all become great friends. Even tho just about all of them, except one, live hours or states away. So technology is beneficial in the sense that I've meet a select few people from around the world that are great loving people, but the problem with the other kind of people is that they don't know how to balance it all out, they also don't know how to love themselves, so they just put on an act to try & get others to love them, but then they don't love others like they want to be loved. I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but the majority of people these days seem to be a bunch of brainwashed idiots. I just feel misplaced in a world full of unenlightened idiots. The world needs more love & less violence & negativity, but "people" are either too stupid to see that or for one stupid reason or another just don't care.
@@truthartistic7452 I totally feel you, but I wouldn't say it's been like that ONLY recently
Been through a lot of things in life, but loneliness is by far the worst.
SO true. Heartbreaks are preferable and they were excruciating. Love your name (I co-own a fabulously wonderful Border Collie).
@@alisonsnow627 I think you found the name subliminally through the Border Collie name. It caught your eye and what a wonderful dog you and I both have. If loyalty had a picture, it would not so coincidencely be my best aul' friend in the world, my Sammy. Sticks to me more than a thumb tack. What a really nice message to receive from yourself . I hope that you're doing well in this sticky world, and that's putting it mildly.
pretty good dog at least
@@jeremiahtoribio My main reason for living is my border collie and that's not an exaggeration. A dog will never let you down when it comes to loyalty, where as humans......not so much.
@@bordercollie1140 True. Unconditional love can come from dogs and children and parents. In that order and those are the only ones you can mostly depend on. Dogs completely - the others just typically.
I would say that those lone wolf type of people are rare. I would not recommend to anyone to stay alone for rest of his/her life. I am introverted as fuck but I noticed that longer I stay disconnected from other people the more depressed and insane I become.
You start to believe all of your stories (good or bad) as universal truth because there is none to tell you that your ideas are completely insane.
Same, we are social animals after all and we need each other to live well.
"They are called liberals!" Be serious, some liberals and some conservatives do that, and others don't.
Iam a lone wolf. Very misanthropic and cherish solitude. Some of the greatest people the world has produced were loners. Tesla and Einstien to name a couple. People are so superficial and fake these days, I'd prefer solitude.
Natalie that's racist
You don't need people to tell you that your ideas are insane. The Internet will do that for you.
Wow, crazy how true this is. During Covid, I never felt more lonely. 30 years old, living alone, no pets, nothing. Just an empty quiet house. Nothing but my thoughts, and sleepless nights. I found myself going out to eat a lot more often, just to be around people. As men we don’t want to admit things like this, but I realized I was lonely. I was disconnected. I had material things, but inside I was empty. You start to realize what’s important in life. You start to take a look at your life, and it becomes depressing when you have no meaningful connections with anyone. No father. No wife. No children. Friends who are all busy with their families. 30 hits different, and your view on the world changes. All you can do is keep the faith and just bare the most responsibility you can in your life. This will at least offer some relief, and make you tired enough to go to sleep at night and not just sit there. Go for a run, work as many hours as you can, so you can be so physically exhausted that you pass out. It’s the only way without medication, when you are alone and have no one. As men, no one really cares. We just have to put our boots on, go to work, and have faith that something greater is out there for us.
Dude I feel you I hate this feeling
Me too
Start a family brother, its the way things are supposed to be, its how we were created, its the natural way for us humans: To build a family.
@@soliderarmatang5664 conservatives talking about their feelings and loneliness is so funny. The first instinct is to just push it away like you are. If all the many many lonely men out there could find a nice wife and start a family then they would but they are lonely because they don’t have a gf. Society has structured our lives around personal responsibility and individualism making us go at it alone in many ways
@@minabotieso6944 May I ask you if this loneliness is not self-afflicted? I mean, you can not be the only lonely person in your area?
Everyone suffers, but everyone hides it. If everyone was more open about it, everyone would suffer less. The problem is that everyone kind of sucks, and everyone knows it.
Great comment, on point, i feel the same way
Exactly
Dude this is a great comment
The problem is, everyone is not gonna change. It’s depressing but there’s not really anything we can do about it.
No joke this is a highly underrated comment
Most of my life, I never really felt lonely. Then I got stage 4 cancer and (at first) a lot of people go out of their way to show that they care, but only if it is something public or they could bring up how "inspirational" i was (usually for doing the simplest things) and get credit just for hanging out with me. It felt a little forced or extra from some people, but at least people were there. After a few months though, people start avoiding you or dropping you from their lives silently, you see yourself go from having people check in on you on a regular basis to having no one call or even text for months on end. Then they get mad at you for mentioning that you haven't heard from them lately and they act like you are too needy (because contacting close friends, seeing if they could come by once every couple months is "exhausting," apparently).
Dying alone and in excrutiating pain in my 30s and all I ever hear is negativity and that I'm not grateful enough (if I hear anything at all). Loneliness amplifies the pain and the pain makes you wish there was anything you could do to distract yourself from it, but when people only contact you to tell you how their problems are worse (than dying from cancer, i really don't understand how people can do that with a straight face), steal your medications, or ask for something from you, you can't help but want to die even sooner. I feel like I still have a lot of life left in me despite the pain, but without people or really much of any resources (cancer is just about the most expensive thing you could ever imagine), I truly, deeply understand why relationships are so important, but the longer I live the more people I lose (this is over the course of 2 years or so) and while the pain from cancer in my bones and the chemo-induced neuropathy in my left hand makes it essentially nonfunctional (yet hurt 24/7), there's nothing more painful than knowing you will die alone in agonizing pain long before even just your 40th birthday.
I wish people actually cared about each other. And, sure, maybe its selfish but i wish anyone, at this point literally anyone, cared at all about me.
@TURK religion is a lie sold to desperate people.
Empath Again i understand where you’re coming from and yea, it would be amazing if more people really cared about others.
So sorry.
Sending you so much love I wish you can feel it. I hope you start feeling better. I’m sorry people are so stupid. If I knew you I would definitely be a friend to you, but I hope you can still find some happiness in your life in this fucked up world.
I am sorry for what you are going through. I feel your pain. I wish I were there to take care of you because I would not be one of those people who abandons you, for sure. Take care.
“Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option not a necessity.” - Keanu Reeves
I have been taking care of myself since I was 14. All those years....I only needed help 3 times. Alllllll of the reasons that I failed those 3 times was because of health issues. Learn something before you make assumptions.
P.S. How old were you when you were tossed out on your own?? Did you have a key? A wallet? I.D.? Clothes? An address book to call ANYONE besides a RAPIST?? I'm pretty sure you had all those things to help you along.
@@gayleclanton3311 if you didnt fail those 3 times his quote makes sense
Gayle Clanton sorry what was that gay clinton
@@gayleclanton3311 lol bragging about how tough your think you are on UA-cam leads me to believe that you aren't as tough as you think. People that brag about something are usually compensating for the opposite of what they're bragging about.
My grandfather died of loneliness after my grandmother died. Even when we seen him nearly every day after for almost a decade. We just couldn’t fill the void but atleast made his life somewhat more easy. I remember waking up at 4am every morning for years to go to breakfast with him in the morning. And lunch at 10:30-11. And visiting with him later before he went to bed after family feud at 7. I sure do miss him. I miss them both. They were the meaning of true love.
You will always miss them. You can honor their memory by appreciating the example they set for you and your loved ones, and passing it on to the new generation.
There's no such thing as dying of loneliness. But I get your point
@@TahitianTreatSkeetJuice There's a lot of couples who die one after the other, it's super common. To say "there's no such thing" is ridiculous. It's been proven that stress makes you age faster it's a fact that everybody knows. And social isolation alone makes you 50% more prone to dementia. So imagine being super old with declining health and then the person you've been with for 30+ years dies on top of that. You can definitely die of loneliness, even if it's just from not caring to eat or do anything to stay alive. Or by suicide. Or cortisol produced from the stress. I can probably write a list of like 10 different morbidity factors that can be a result of loneliness. You're wrong.
@@TahitianTreatSkeetJuice and don't ask for a source or some shit, you can literally just google it
@@pricklycatsss i get ur point and there have been stories but to say its ridiculous not to belive in dying from loneliness, is ridiculous tbh.😂
I know u really want it to be true but u just grasping at scenarios which dont have anything to do with anything really.
Im not tryna start anything but just cause u want it to be true and have no evidence to prove it, same as he aint got nothing to disprove it.
So saying "you're wrong" is literally cringe and childish..
Get some data to back it up or just agree to disagree 🤷♂️
I learned how lonely we are in States after experiencing a small poor village in South America. The children clung to me and shared their food although they were still hungry. I went there as an outsider but treated was treated as if I was one of them. I think that is what is lacking in States. We are too polite to barge in to other’s lives and too scared to clash with others. We never really connect outside of social media. Loneliness grows deeper as we learn to be not honest to ourselves and just put a facade on our Instagram accounts.
"We are too polite to barge in to other’s lives and too scared to clash with others" I feel that IS the fundamental aspect on why it's so difficult to form any kind of relationships, be it fleeting or new. You've worded it perfectly.
thank you, well said. strongly considering leaving this country once i’m out of college
@@austinstout8220 in Latin America people are living in class societies...thats the WORST thing ever...do not underestimate the freedoms that USA provides you....
yes, social media has made it all worse. It can bring people together but not in a meaningful way like face to face interaction does.
Most Americans just want to be by themselves so they rejected any open new contact & stick with the people they known for periods of time.
The realest people dont have alot of friends
-Tupac
Then I must be pretty fukin real ....
Six Ronin that awkward moment when in reality you just down have any friends...
The realest people know that "a lot" is two words.
-Biggie Smalls
Six Ronin lol well that’s just not true mister pac
“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” -Kim Culbertson
I want friends that have the same UA-cam recommendations as me
Right?😂
The real soulmate
Genius
Yes 😞👌
Word!
This is why young men get into sports. I promise when you truly get invested in a program and when you get multiple young men invested in a program it becomes an infectious family. the aspect of a family comprised of young men the same age is a truly motivating thing to the individuals in the team/family.
Unfortunately the need to be in a Brotherhood to cause men to join the military and let me use as pawns for rich men in their schemes
That happened to me. To beat my loneliness, I joined a worship team as a pianist, and we would play and sing each Sunday.
Tried that and wasn’t accepted into the regime there’s certain people who don’t get along with anyone at all
Not only that but it gives you something to get good at especially if you particularly enjoy a specific sport
It's a great idea if you're accepted by the rest of the group, but if you're the weird kid that the rest of the "team" decides to game up on it might be one of the worst experiences of your life.
I’m Cuban born and raised. Yes, there’s poverty, misery and a lot of bad things in Cuba. I never had a bike or toys or PlayStation , but me and my friends had the beach, rivers and lakes to swim, 1 bike to share for all the kids, we were outside all the time, running, playing soccer or baseball or basketball, maybe watch tv at night after coming back home late. Maybe spent the day fishing or looking fruits in the wild. There was nothing else to do, just to hang around with friends. No need for a gun, no need for a game console, just you, your friends and the whole world out there to discover, no depressions, no suicidal thoughts, just having fun.
Clarice1933 you nailed it, I live in the Midwest, Chicago area. I’m a truck driver and travel a lot. Americans don’t appreciate family, just the fact of seeing very old people driving cars, that makes me cry, those old people have family, I’m pretty sure of that, but their family don’t care about them. Americans are apathetic to their relatives, and that sucks. Money and position are more important for them.
"rivers and lakes to swim, 1 bike to share for all the kids, we were outside all the time, running, playing soccer or baseball or basketball, maybe watch tv at night" That was my California in 1976. Black and white TV. Nothing wrong with it a bit. Now people care which phone I have.
"I think many relationships fail because people expect one person to give them everything they are missing in life that an entire tribe or community used to give." That's really deep Clarice. My ex-wife pretty much did that, she wanted me to be magic instead of just fun and hardworking and _really_ patient with her and so on. And I pretty much did it to her.
The Obedient Worker I am an immigrant from africa. We did not have fancy games or toys but we had tons of friends. We climbed trees. We visited each other. The simpler days. I rarely see kids play outside now a days. God help the kids now.
A Very Stable Genius We Americans used to have that rural, carefree childhood experience, too, but mass immigration destroyed that. At least you still have a homeland where you can bask among your people in solidarity if you so choose. We no longer have that option.
Sometimes when I feel lonely I remind myself that some of my most beautiful experiences were ones I went through alone
I need to hear that. Thank you.
Yeah but some of the most beautiful experiences were also when I had them with other people. So it's an impasse. Lmao
This makes me every more sad
That’s right👌
Technology is truly both a blessing and a curse...
Well said
We invented technology to make life easier, but unfortunately because of that, we stopped asking for help too.
Devestation no it’s just a curse
It’s definitely a blessing. It only becomes a curse when you rely on it.
Technology is a blurse
I'm from South America, lived in the States for a while. I really liked living there, but there is a problem of loneliness in the US. I am not sure why, probably the enormity of the country, or the way cities are built or the culture that makes it such an efficient place, but I saw incredible loneliness amongst my coworkers.
Now I live in my hometown roughly 250K people, its a walkable city, and every time I go out I meet some 6 to 7 people I know, sometimes relatives of mine. It's one of the puzzles in my life, what makes the US such a lonely place.
We have been taught to be selfish consumers, that money means more than love, and that being alone always equals suffering. I enjoy being alone most times because I do what I want without someone nagging me or telling me I should be doing something else. I come from a big family and yet still most days I prefer solitude. Except for my children I am always happy to see or hear from them because they are good kind people and I raised them to not value money over love and to always be kind but not stupid.
I blame social media for fuckin up these young people's heads
@@ayewey2945 Yea they never learned to talk to people they didn’t know face to face. If you aren’t on social media you may as well not exist to most young people
It's not just the states. I live in Europe, very similar situations, even in East Europe. It's "big city life", but then I heard of villages that are even worse than living alone in a big city where the neighbors don't know you.
@@AstroMartine Yeah I had a buddy from Check republic that told me people were very wary of each other in little villages. Perhaps the soviet inheritance left a serious mark there.
However, although I abhor communism, I went to Cuba, and people were jolly; complaining all the time but they even dance when going to the market. Culture and weather seem to play an important role.
Dog is man’s best friend. They always notice when you are gone.
My dog when I was at my old place with roommates when I was in military and left for 3 weeks she would whine and howl the first few nights.
My allergies would say otherwise
Absolutely. It might not be as obvious to people living lives in the range of normal. But, if you have trauma and a toxic environment, there is no other living thing on the planet that will stick by your side through anything.
If bet my life that if I walked into the depths of Hell, my dog would follow. She never turns away. Never judges. Never does the “tisk tisk” thing that humans do.
Even the ones who love you most can only handle so much. And you might even protect them from your experience like I do.
A dog never shames or judges. All they want is to be with you. As long as my dog is near me, can see me, she is fine.
And my girl was abducted by my abusive almost-ex, had all four paws butchered with blood splattered up all four legs. Her tag was gone and microchip didn’t scan.
Kali, my dog, now has nightmares like me. She has more anxiety than before, like me. She seems to have a stronger need to have her pack around her than before,’like me.
I feel terrible that she suffered because I love her. The asshole told my kids, “Mama sure loves her dog. It’d be a shame if something happened to her.”
Fucking dick. But my dog is a better person than most people.
When even your dog doesn't care about you
@@amyjkr I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are bringing up truth here. I have grown up with a lot of dogs (my parents adopt homeless and abused animals), and the pure love you get from even abused dogs is amazing. Like you said, they never judge, get tired of you or won't accept you. Dogs save so so many human lives each year. I love them.
I've felt loneliness in crowded NYC, where no one really sees me or looks at me... but when I was in a beautiful bucolic setting, in the country side... I felt at peace. Not lonesome. And there was no one else there.. is that fucking weird or what?
Not at all..cities suck
There has been some research on this, cities are just neurologically overestimating for a lot of people.
BrainsInBlackButt
@@Ravie1 what does that mean?
@@paumcd www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-wandering/201208/stress-and-the-city
From what I understand dense cities have more stimuli, we see more colors, shapes, and people, and that wears on the human brain causing increases in anxiety depression and other mental problems. Keep in mind though, long commutes are associated with heart problems and shorter life expectancy for many of the same reasons.
Crazy how we used to laugh and feel sorry for the Amish. Now I completely get it! They were the ones laughing all along at us. Our society is so fucked up
I don't know how we go from talking about the Amish 2 someone's atheist beliefs but if we can get back to the topic at hand you are absolutely right... I looked at the Amish as a bunch of weirdos but they seem to be the ones keeping it together in a time where everything seems to be becoming unglued. I don't necessarily feel that I would wants to be Amish 2 benefit from their ways but surely there is a medium where our current society can benefit tremendously from.
@lmnop or maybe they weren’t lies and worked for a reason? Just as I can’t prove to you there is a God, you can’t prove there isn’t one. Let’s say being a Christian is the best way to live life even though you believe it’s a lie, would you Deprive your children of the best life because you don’t like to believe or would you follow along to better your children’s life?
@LMNOP bingo
@@SunnyD698 the rules that you have to follow were put there by God for your benefit. To keep you from not ending up alone.
Somewhere an Amish person is really wanting to tell you that you are totally full of shit, but they have no ability to click that motherfucking thumbs down symbol;
Loneliness is NOT about being alone. It's about a mismatch between one's social expectations and reality. One can be lonely in a crowd or feel fulfilled with solitude. Loneliness is a widespread problem but it is very different for different people.
I really like Joe Rogan. He's a very good listener and a great conversationalist.
Agreed.
He is without a doubt, the worst interviewer to ever be on a screen. But his guests and the format of his show are really good
@@DarkWandererAU this is not an interview you know
@@aghadmtl *sighhh* I know, its a podcast, like you n every other person say. Doesn't make him any less shit at being a host and talking with people
@@DarkWandererAU Have you seen Larry King?
I've dealt with PTSD depression and anxiety on an unprecedented level most of my life due to Serious trauma and an incredible amount of abuse when I was younger. I became addicted to all kinds of things mostly alcohol. I live alone and all my friends are several hours away. But I became best friends with someone who is one of the most happily married people I've ever known, they're both some of the best people I've ever known and they have a really big family that's awesome and they are very positive and happy most of the time. I started going to their house to hang out on a regular basis. One time I stayed for several days over a weekend. One of the things I noticed in hindsight after I would leave and go home was that I realized that I didn't crave a drink. Not once. My depression went completely away in my anxiety too. All of the obsessive negative thoughts that I have constantly 24 hours in my head just completely disappeared. I realized at some point when it hit me that what happened was my environment changed. I realized that when I walked through the door of my friend's house his kids would run up to hug me and I felt like I had a sense of belonging. We would play games or I would help my friend put in a garden or do some work around the house. They treated me like I was one of their own. And so it's no surprise that all of us need some kind of community or tribe around us. A sense of belonging. A lot of my negative thinking and addictions went right out the window when I planted myself in the right environment. I still struggle occasionally with certain things but since then I've made a conscious decision to put myself in better situations and environments and force myself to not stay as lonely and isolated as I have been. The difference is night and day. If you struggle to with any of these kinds of things, I would encourage you even if you don't feel like it to change your environment and situation. It might not be easy but it will certainly help you create a balanced positive Baseline to start from and go forward from there. Also as a side note exercise has recently been the other big thing that has changed the game for me. A lot of times I don't feel like exercising but I force myself to get up and go for a vigorous Sprint through the neighborhood or do hundred push-ups and drink lots of water. Now that I've given myself over to exercise better nutrition and a sense of belonging with some good friends things have started to change dramatically. I hope you will do the same. Love and peace.
trueseeker25 very courageous of you to share your story! Thank you
wonderful story! stay focused.
LMNOP same happened to me!
Gregory Courson You sound miserable af. Keep that shit over there..
Trueseeker25 I give a fuck that you are choosing to heal regardless of what anyone else would tell you. That's so awesome that you didn't give up. I have ptsd also and understand the struggle.
Work notices when I'm not there.
I would not consider that home.
Shae But you can be replaced.
Hahahaha!!!
Has anyone seen Shae? I haven’t received any TPS reports in a month.
Shae Life is great, isn't it? It could be, if we weren't slaves.
They will notice for a maximum of 5 days in a row and then they could care less! Don’t believe me go try it and come back and tell us how it went.
I spent 11 years in prison and got out 18 years ago. I wasted another 17 years never having a family. I didn't know how alone I was until I just had twins last year at 47. I've been saved.
Wish u the best ….keep surviving
I think just like women, men also want to have family. As we get close to 40 it starts getting lonely and worrisome. We deny wanting kids and family because we have failed at it, and then we try to avoid family and friends because it reminds you of not starting family. I’m happy for you brother. I’m 37 but it’s getting hard to not be married and have kids by now. I promised myself to get married and have kids by 40.
@@knp4356 your right! I want a family too :(
+Michael Havers- You poor sob...
@@knp4356💯%
I developed agoraphobia from my anxiety and panic attacks and I can say first hand, loneliness and isolation is a devastating thing and the longer it persists the harder it is to break. I'm convinced it will be the death of me.
I feel you... One of the things that helps me with anxiety is simply not caring whenever I'm anxious. usually I'll become more anxious because I notice that I'm anxious. Just go out into the world and don't give a fuck, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose
You've got to keep your hope up! its easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts when you're drained all the time, so you've gotta fight it. Try taking a walk or meditating or baking cookies or w/e when you feel that way. try to think positively. The more you do the easier it gets. take care of your mental state. when you're isolated you've got to rely on yourself to fill that empty feeling with joy. Good luck!
Im a bit on the same boat. Things get better slowly with time. Eventually you'll get so used to it that you stop giving as many fucks and things start getting better. Im always alone but very rarely i feel lonely. i enjoy myself
a big problem of today is over thinking things too
Swear down I learn more from UA-cam comments than I ever did in school . You're all fascinating creatures. Have a beautiful day 😆😆
24Pdaddy thank you, rest easy tonight , you just made my day!
24Pdaddy appreciate the positive vibes, but tread lightly. As insightful and informative as YT comments can be, they can be equally mind-numbing and soul draining lol
Love this comment lol
You should put up a profile picture of yourself, I'm sure you're a beautiful person.
fart
I'm 32, live alone, no girlfriend, my friends are all marrying and having kids, others just don't look for me. I work at home and I spend almost all of my time staring at the PC screen working or doing other stuff like gaming, or watching random yt videos... It wasn't always like this, I used to have lots of people around me but it feels like suddenly I'm all by myself. Well, almost, I still have my parents and I have 2 brothers, and I feel gratefull for that.
But thinking about what my life will be in a decade or so its scary and sad. I mean, it's already sad now... I feel alone, abandoned, sad, depressed, I'm a grown ass man and I cry almost everyday because I feel lonely. And I'm not even ashamed of saying it... I'm too tired of this to feel shame.
I will never end myself, but some days I don't feel like doing anything, just existing is depressing...
And I too think depressions is mostly caused by social factors, I never felt like this a few years ago. At least not this often or with this intensity. I will never take pills or any of that and I do have hope that my life will change. But one thing that I've learn from loneliness is that we need people to share our happiness, a life without people around you is an empty life.
You can find a woman and get married and start a family. Human are social beings. They can't live alone. That's why society was created. Sorry for my bad English.
It’s not too late, I know plenty of people that have found a wife and had kids in their 40s, don’t give up on life yet, you need to work on yourself, try working out at least once a day, get a routine, do something you don’t want to do.
get a job somewhere where u are interacting with team members and build relationships even if it’s just a small couple hours a week. You’ll be okay.
S B- Consider yourself lucky. Don't screw it up.
@@charlieeleftheriadis9646 this is it right here… work on yourself in anyway you can and use that as motivation to keep pushing yourself so that you can improve your overall sense of self worth and happiness😌 join clubs like toastmasters that help with your public speaking skills and can help you meet new people
People, pets and other beings and trees/ plants. Do try these.
I'm upset he didn't talk about how detrimental the internet is to depression. Social media is a huge factor into creating anxiety for people nowadays.
Ironically, I've met my closest friends from the internet. People who I'm proud to call my friends.
Why do you still use it then
@@joeltaveras198 addiction
@@joeltaveras198 because some people are able to distinguish between reality and bullshit! Unlike trolls like you that search for significance in this world by trashing the true emotions of someone in pain. You don’t even know your own worth (or- in your case, lack of worth). I know who I am because I’ve survived 64 years of hell on earth and actually have enough experience to know what I’m talking about. You? Insignificant worm!
@@dr.froghopper6711 U mad?
True loneliness isn't just feeling alone. It's also having people around you but being unable to connect with any of them. A level of isolation that makes you feel like being in a foreign land with people of your own culture. Has single-handedly caused the whole array of social anxiety disorders here in the most crowded societies on earth
Solitude brings self awareness and getting in touch with the inner self. Loneliness can be a tool, but too much isn't good. Humans are social creatures.
My aunt came to visit us here in the US from South America. After a few days she said she wanted to go back because she missed hanging out with her neighbors and friends because they hang out every night. Here, we get home, lock our doors and hardly see our neighbors much less hang out with them.
I've lived in multiple buildings and have literally never spoken to my neighbors lol.
Most Americans dont know how to be social. they are just very weird in general.
One thing that help me get through loneliness is finding a hobby and keeping busy.
That’s the key right there. Idiot hands brings in our demons , at least for me
Very good to do.
I agree. I collect things. I fix things. I put things together. Alone. It's me and my things and things I create. Bring someone into the mix, and you will lose what's yours.
Find a purpose, that lasts longer!
Japan is a perfect example of what's going to happen to the west in the next couple decades in terms of the amount of single people there. It's extremely cliched, but technology is causing loneliness on an unprecedented scale. It's rotting our mind.
Correct
I think Japan is a great example of culture rot. Delusion on a scale of insanity. The fact that tentacle, gay porn for the opposite sex and a ton of other out there shit being mainstreamed is a good example of this. No wonder they're all lonely.
Will Smith
True
Pacific NorthWest is halfway there. Most clique place there is. No more depressing places to live than Seattle and Vancouver, BC. Ppl are very rude and cold here. No eye contact between strangers. Nothing like the East Coast. At least in NYC they will tell you to shut the fuck up. No matter what happens no one stands up for themselves in public in the Pacific NorthWest
Japan > Rest of the West
Considering Western countries are high on the *"loneliest"* country list, including Japan, I say you won't have to wait decades because they're already on par. US living alone population is 28% while Japan is 31% and other countries are relatively close to those, Canada is 27% as another example.
The difference is American will continue to be a racial war zone decades from now and Canada as will France, Britain, Germany, Italy, so forth and so on will crumble under the cult of diversity and multiculturalism while Japan remains a homogeneous country.
I realize how “pretentious freshman philosophy student” this is going to sound, but really, as a post-college person struggling with loneliness, my life was completely changed by what I read. The Tao Te Ching is amazing. It taught me to counteract the harmful normative values of the western world. It taught me that being obscure, unnoticed, and silent is a beautiful and righteous way to live. We place so much value on how others perceive us, but when you realize that this doesn’t matter at all, you become free.
True that bru. We're here today, gone tomorrow.
Its not just the west. Bruh.. entire world could use silence and obscurity.
Hey man I’m going to try reading it. I’m a college drop out who can’t stand doing boring work online, but I love philosophy and I’m in the process of saying fuck it and joining the Air Force. I’ve read the entire Bible multiple times, the Quran once (HOLY FUCK THAT WAS BORING TOOK ME A WHOLE SUMMER TOO), Art of War, I started Nichomachaen Ethics if that’s how it’s spelled, I also started Meditations by Marcus Aurelius but I have like zero order in my life nowadays and never finish. I’m going to start reading that book man I want to be the best version of myself I can be, if that means alone, shit, oh well.
I never really suffered from having no friends until lately, i hope I don’t have to live my whole life alone, but I guess we’ll see how it turns out.
Lol there's nothing pretentious about that. The Tao Te Ching is one of the most powerfully sublime spiritual texts in existence. You might also like "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle which is very much in line with Taoism :)
not for me
Home is where people notice you’re not there
Sometimes I feel like extremely lonely, I have lived in the same house alone since getting out the Army for 13 years. As time goes on people move on, it gets old convincing yourself to be grateful or not feel bad because it’s selfish. I completely agree with what they talk about. Money, nice things , travel the world , never replaces a person you deeply care for.
I retired from the army a few years ago and have lived alone since. I think ours is a different kind of loneliness.... we belonged once, but now no longer have the same type of connection with anyone. Not with people who used to be in the military, or even with people we were once in the military with.
I could disappear tomorrow, and none of the people I associate with would have a clue for weeks or months.
I'm 59 and no children no family no connection to anything. I saw this coming my way my whole life.
Just the way it is. I was married twice and I was lonely in the marriages. Being alone doesn't translate to loneliness.
Well atleast you were married dawg
I was just talking to my mother about this, since I am pretty fine with the group of friendships I have in NYC. I get a lot of belonging out of them, I don't feel lonely with them. Yet I know people in marriages who feel very lonely. So just because you're hitched in a proper, socially-sanctioned romantic relationship doesn't mean you won't be lonely. That's one of the bigger fallacies in today's society--privileging marriage and long-term romantic relationships over good, solid friendships.
Physical movement is horribly neglected in modern society.
Our bodies are hydraulics machines. We were made to move.
YES! Wallon said that more than a century ago. We are animals and our body demands dynamic movement.
@@Pedro14ceara The brain is not happy if we ignore our physicality and only sit in chairs all the time.. need to dance etc
Yup
Being around my family is soul draining & I've been in relationships with a person yet it was the loneliest time of my life.
You can't rely on other people to make you less lonely.
I hate it when people simplify things. Everyone needs to be in a tribe according to them but they never talk about people who hate being in a tribe and is draining them.
@@arraikcruor6407 Don't do crowds. No Black Friday bullshit. Ever. I made the mistake of going to Disneyland with friends one New Year's Eve. The lines were so long that in 8 hours we rode 1 ride.(Haunted Mansion, my favorite)😢😠I just walked to the car and went to sleep after that.
Same here. My family is not reliable. Maybe meet a girl and start a family of your own? Just an idea.
@@sidneyvicious1128 LMAO
I think we were suffering from loneliness for a very long time and covid has made us realize how much it is important to connect with each other.
Lockdown was the best time for me.
there's a saying that goes:
"If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together"
an african saying. bbc blue planet show ftw.
More deep stuff!!
Yup....I did learn the saying originated in the Motherland....Did my Ancestry.com couple Christmases ago.....8% Cameroon... 10 and 1//2 percent when I’m wit wifey👁🤟🏽
Ever try to meet your neighbor? They look at me like I'm trying to steal their credit card
Wherever I've lived I've literally never even spoken to my neighbors, absolutely no interaction with them ever
@@forman208 May I ask why? I have always had great relationships with my neighbors we go golfing all the time and hang out.
@@AJ-ly8si because of the fear of rejection, so many times I've tried to talk to random people only to be seen as a nuisance.
But back in the day you would literally bring a gift to your neighbor to break that barrier of not talking to them. We as a society have gotten Away from that big time
@@hfl6654 yeah sad times unfortunately the sense of real community is disappearing
I'm in a wheelchair, so its socially awkward going out, but I got my best friend by my side, my dog.
And that dog loves you.
So do I, I don’t know u but that doesn’t matter
I’m in a wheelchair too and all my friends bailed on me because I can’t go and do what they want to go and do. They weren’t interested in modifying their behaviors to meet my needs so it was easier to just suddenly pretend that I’ve ceased to exist. At least you have a dog to share your life with! I bid you well!
Prayers out to you
I would hang out with you anytime! A wheelchair isn't a condition it's a tool
7 yrs in solitary confinement, no human contact. I know there's something different about me. This gives really good insight as to what i was feeling in there. Thanks for the great people you bring on to your show.
I'm sorry man, can't imagine how terrible it must have been. Now that is over just know that there are people out here that care and want to break this bubble of loneliness once again (in the real world). People like you are rare but exist, we just have to keep looking with a smile on our face.
@@emerax6306 its a hard adjustment. Its strange but there are these cycles in my life where i find myself crav8ng that loneliness feeling. I close myself off from everyone just like i used to in that cell. People think im insane for always singing out loud. But little do they know that my voice was my companion in that cell. My thoghts were my enemy therefore i sang my ass off. I sure as hell got bent. But never broke in there. So i thought. Now i acknowledge my brokenness and am sure to apple super glue from time to time to keepnit together. And now as i go blind it makes it that much harder to wake up and smile. But God knows i do.
@@goingblindenjoyinglife you definitely went crazy 😂 what the hell are you talking about 😂😂
@@goingblindenjoyinglife they really did a number on you
@Anthony Fernandez yes indeed. I'm out 13 yrs this year and I'm still not all the way right lol
The older I get the more I face the reality that I will be alone and lonely for the rest of my life. I never wanted it that way but no matter how much I try, people just don’t want to be around me and or I don’t want to be around them because I see how nasty and terrible people are.
Your Not alone, I might not know you, but I care, and I’m proud of you, I hope your doing okay
This was insightful of you, to realize the path you are on is headed there, what has helped me, not enough cause of ignorance or avoidance is sex therapy
Welcome to the club.
i agree i feel like most people are faking everything , instead of being themselves . they want to look virtous and popular and nothings wrong in life . i hate being gaslit lol . hope all is well Richard !
Story of my life. I just turned 37 yesterday, still single with no kids. I drown myself drinking Heineken.
I'm learning to be my own best friend. Someone I can count on.
Most of us have two options.
1 - Be alone
2 - Be with people who you can't stand, and want to avoid
Be alone is better
Underrated af
Yeh
Most of us aren't losers
@Sonic Hedgehog That´s my fate.
I was a super high achieving student in a crazy competitive field. And no matter what else I did- exercising outside, vacationing, hanging out with people, etc, the most joy and peace and LIFE I’ve ever felt during that time was when I just turn off my phone, go out into my parents garden, spend 2 hours picking weeds, picking my lettuce and kale, bringing it inside, spending another hour picking through it meticulously, then making a salad from scratch and sitting down and eating it.
yeah nature is very good for us Humans, nature is natural its not fake like most things in this world. very cool of you to share :)
Do you smoke the weeds?
Sounds great😊 That right there sounds like utopia. Sometimes it’s a gift just to be able to slow down & really be able to let yourself enjoy things like that.
@@soberanisfam1323no need if you actually connect with nature regularly.
These are some of the best comments on UA-cam - ever.
Totally agree
I think some people who have stayed alone have experienced the worst of people. Being alone becomes adjustable for some I think. Getting in a relationship every once awhile passes time. I respect people how ever they live their lives.
AMEN!!! I say we start an online community called “People Who Hate People Looking for Other People Who Hate People.” Or PWHPLFOPWHP for short. 😂
Jcorb - My sentiments exactly. Friend me.
"One year of love is better than a lifetime alone"
-Freddie Mercury
Yeah, Freddie got a little too much love. As he said himself " Too much love can kill you" talk about a self fullfilling prophecy!
Don’t look to Freddie Mercury for life advice 😂
Don't agree.
I'm in my forties, I've never been married, No kids. Not even many relationships in my life. There are some lonely nights and it gets depressing. However, my father said loneliness will make you stronger and he is right. I've gotten used to it, It motivates me the loneliness to go to the gym and I've built my body pretty well over the years. My meditation keeps my mental state healthy as can be as well.
Bro you should try to start a family as soon as possible or you’re gonna regret it when your old
@@zesebi Thanks for the advice.
@@lex6794 no problem and good luck
I thought I was lonely, then I started eating better and working out and making music, and I realized I didn’t really need company or friends 24/7, and I’d rather be alone doing what I love. Sometimes you can fix loneliness
Yeah...
Same thing. I started working out, eating better, and making music too. Although I still feel lonely often
CJD Beatz same bro. Just keep doing it, eventually you learn to conquer loneliness, maybe write a song about how you feel
Ricky hawkins well it’s been a year & im doing great 🤷♂️
You can be married, and still be extremely lonely....
Well, you chose to be there.
@@gusgrizzel8397 don't be so hasty in your judgement, actually I didn't, but now I'm free!
@@BlueJade01 Well that's good.
Absolutely. I feel that marriage is a scam. The woman who changes, stops talking to you, stops asking how your feeling, stops showing love physically etc like the way she did so you'd marry her.......should NOT be allowed money or a settlement in a divorce. Since she lied or broken the marriage agreement she should GET NOTHING. THE MAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO LEAVE WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE THE MONEY , THE HOUSE OR KIDS TO THE ABUSER.
@@Mark-zs7sz Stop dating or being around people for their looks. Don't even be friends with someone who doesn't share the same views about the world, life, working, values, etc. Men choose women based on looks, and then wind up with problems. The whole game of sexual attraction...the men use sexual attraction as the main reason for picking their spouses, and it's just headed for problems. You need someone who has had to go without things, who understands what is important, who has gone without luxury items, or even the basics, so they truly find some sense of ground about the world they live in. Someone who has always had all of their needs met never has faced this.
The pain of loneliness is excruciating, when I was younger, I felt like I had time to rake care of the problem, but now that I'm 36 I feel like my time Is running out...this breaks my heart...
Never too late, God bless you.
You're a beautiful soul.
"Where there is Determination, a way can be found" - Richest Man in Babylon
36 is the prime of life. So much to look forward to! But its not always that way. It's easy to talk yourself into being depressed and feeling hopeless when we are upset. I was the poster child for that stupidity. but the reverse is also true! Using positive statements may feel silly at first but that shit WORKS. Otherwise you may need to see a professional. Oh and get your ass outside. Talk to people. Get to know your neighbors. This stuff is hard for me but I'm so glad I did. Senior citizens usually appreciate someone to talk to and nearly always they have the best stories of bravery, love , Adventure and deep sorrow. Plus sometimes they have a sexy granddaughter or son who is so grateful to you. LOL
I know how you feel. I’m 51 and I’ll always be single. But in my case I drank for over 35 years. Been sober for 2 years. Was born drunk. I probably will always be alone and alcoholic. Never had a relationship or been in love and its way too late. I hope this makes you feel better that your not alone as far as your situation goes..
I'm a Brazilian and I been in America for a little longer than one year. Everyone there was very lonely older or younger. I believe that's a lot because of the culture Americans really live in their own bubbles but right now because the lifestyle became so fast and also social media people are isolated in it. Brazilian people are very social and talk to anyone anywhere If you try to cheap chat with an American it's almost like you're cursing them
oi. saudações de Las Vegas, NV
Loneliness and rage is a toxic combination.
oh really? i didnt realize, mb
Like 90% of 4chan users that’s why they think the world is bad, it is but no in the way they think
Luis Alvarez they are also very mentally ill man
Feeling it rn
Dam that's me
They tried to put my daughter on stimulant meds, saying she would never function without them. She graduated from college with a 4.0. They tried to put me on an antidepressant. I just needed exercise. They medications are appropriate for some people, but damn, not everyone!
SoulfulVeg on point
I was put on adhd meds while in college...went from a 2.6 to a 3.1. They do generally work for people who genuinely have trouble focusing in academics. Bad grades in college can severely reduce your employment options and possibly ruin your life. Outside of academics I wouldn't recommend it though.
The first thing we ask ongoing Carr with psychiatric patients is “have you been exercising?”. Very important
Same happened to me in a private kindergarten class. My mom was like, "nope," and just homeschooled me until 9th grade. I'm now a college grad slated to go to officer school for the army.
Big Pharma.
I'd say the biggest problem is that we are being made to live longer but not being told how to properly live.... I don't even know why ppl enjoy being alive, a lot of ppl are dying out there mentally... And for what? New car? House? And then die anyway?
tommy d u b b s exactly everyone’s gonna die so what difference is it gonna make
come on man don't you want that nice new car? It's only $504 dollars a month! Anyone can afford that!
So many people throw their life away into expensive cars and houses when that money could be used for camping and exploring equipment or other hobbies instead
@@OhSleeper11 The saddest irony is, they spend all that money on a house and they barely spend any time in it. Their whole day is spent working to pay for it, and the only use it to sleep
We are being told though. by The Holy Bible.. You're spot on about the futility of collecting treasures here. When you collect treasures through works, Those are eternal! Salvation isnt through works, but a free gift given to us by Jesus for repenting for our sins. Take the leap, if not for this life, for the next.
@@sunnyteagarden1237 Allah will show u the way repent of your false Gods or be destroyed
When I was in my teens and early 20's, loneliness was a really palpable emotion. I would legit feel depressed if I had to spend a prolonged period of time by myself. Now after 30, when it comes to socializing I can take it or leave it. Idk if it's just getting older or possibly the covid lockdowns changing my perspective, but my interest in going out is legitimately non existent. Just the process of getting ready, showering, getting dressed, taking a 40 minute train ride to the city then an additional subway while dealing with crowds of people just to grab dinner or drinks, a relaxing night in watching a movie or show from the comfort of my home sounds much more appealing lol
You should still shower though bruh. For everyone’s sake.
@@thetruth9816 I think his point is he doesn't like to get ready and to take a lot of time out of his day for something that he's not even looking forward to doing
@Josh Taylor ok but still take a shower please
Eh probably good to socialize with actually people
That's exactly the problem though, isn't it? I seriously doubt the Amish imagine being social in the same co text as that
Just got dumped by the one person in the world I trusted with my life. I’m devastated
Time helps ease the pain. It’s hard but when you go through all the emotions your going through now it’s we’re you grow the most as a person. Chin up it gets easier that’s for sure
They did you a favor. Now you can learn to be careful who you trust and spend your time/energy/love with.
Sorry to hear that
Sean, I hope things are going better for you man!
Hope you’re doing better now. Things happen, but we have no choice but to move on. The bills don’t stop coming in, time doesn’t stop, the world keeps going. She dumped you, she didn’t care about you anymore. So you shouldn’t either. Don’t ever let a human being have that much power over you. Why should she have the luxury of moving on, while you feel like 💩. Man up, move on & live your life. Don’t ever stop exploring the great possibilities and wonders that are in this world. Especially not due to another human being that’ll pass away too and eventually be easily forgotten from this planet just like you will.
@@rickycastro6555 And our souls shine on..
pls dont have children because you are lonely.... children are not born for your emotional needs....
Edit: meaning: your emotional needs dont overwrite your child emotional needs they are their own person no matter how you feel about it good or bad.
Dia P yes ! SAY IT LOUDER lol
They kind of are
Miłosz Zyga it should not be that way. The kid is going to be an adult eventually. If you have the kid to ease your loneliness, what’s going to happen to him/her when you pass away? Assuming the household was lonely to begin with (ie. Lonely parent)... now the parent has passed on the lonely burden on the child. That’s cruel and selfish.
SAY IT A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!
THEY'RE NOT BORN FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS!
I hope that's loud enough. :D
“Has it ever struck you that life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quick you hardly catch it going?”― Tennessee Williams..
It has to be the height of irony that we live in an age where the ability to communicate has never been so abundant (cell phones, internet, fax, ground lines) . I mean EVERYONE has a phone right next to them 24/7. And yet actual meaningful communication is near zero.
That's because mobility and choice have directed us towards others who have the same narrow outlook. It hasn't brought cooperation and tolerance towards our closest neighbours.
That’s the intelligence of the human race for ya. We thought better phones would cure lack of communication. We’re just idiot monkeys
"If you make friends with yourself
you will never be alone. . ."
- Maxwell Maltz
how do you make friend with yourself?
XGALARION look at your right hand...
This is unhelpful.
ACE A 💀
@@mastercontender6139 mrs. Palm and 5 daughters.
I live in syria.. We have bombs and war and all kind of shit.. You would think that I will say we don't have loneliness... But damn loneliness isn't a privilege that just exists in USA and Europe.. It's real.. But it is more likely to happen to people who have emptiness inside or been traumatized or had bad parenting....i found out that I should fight it just like any other bad circumstance .. In the end we are all trying to survive this world
Salma sumsum prayers for you and your situation. May God protect and Bless you
yeah.
prayers
peace
Don't take life too seriously. Its not like you're going to make it out alive 🤣
What's going on there in Syria where you live? With the governments
I hope u r ok man!
"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night." -- Margaret Mead
Honestly, I lie the fact I can do what I want and not have someone wonder where I am lol
When I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, it actually helped me a lot. It’s still hard but it helps me to understand and listen to my body, which makes it easier to not fall in it. Instead of me here thinking it was all laziness. I think some people do need to hear their diagnosis to help them become aware of themselves and the state that they are in so that they can progress and maneuver through life.
I’d be happy with a partner but it’s really hard to find someone these days.
Exactly
I agree
You must live in the US. This is IMO the loneliest country in the World.
@@coupleofbeers31 Agreed. I used to live in the US. After college, I moved to Canada. I love it here. Nicer, warmer people. Fresher air. I've found myself less stressed and a happier person here.
I understand that feeling -- but believe me, if you are not happy without a partner, you will not be happy with one. Your happiness cannot be dependent on someone else's presence and your relationship will not be healthy, because you will be expecting your partner to fulfill needs that only you can fulfill for yourself. That is unfair to your partner and will leave you just as unhappy. The only difference is that you will also be making someone else unhappy, too.
I was single for 10 years until 3 weeks ago, it can happen guys. Don't give up.
From what age to what age were you single
0-10 lol
Pshhhhh 20 years
i have a friend like you(in our 50's) he never had a serious GF, he's a mildly odd bird...i finally met an internet chick and has been doing great. he has a home and good long hour job and thought he'd never get a chick or even know how.
@@crabtrap Damn what app did he use? Haha
We live in such a broken country and we don’t even know how it could be any different. We all keep to ourselves. We don’t invite people into our lives. We think privacy is the most important value. We’ve forgotten how to treat each other with respect and dignity. We don’t acknowledge each other or put value in each other. We often treat human beings like we’re worthless and insignificant, in favor of valuing work, money, “success” or status, often at the expense of others. We’re constantly competing with each other for dominance, sometimes, denigrating, humiliating and bullying each other in the process.
And when we do feel depressed, when we do feel worthless and insignificant, we don’t say, “Hey, we need to change the way we behave towards each other. We need to love one another more.” We say, “Take this pill. It’ll numb what you’re feeling.”
privacy from the wider society, yes. privacy from your own community, your family, your friends ... not so much.
@@mistahsusan2650 , perhaps. Depends on which family, which community, and which friends.
I don't often leave a like on comments but I did here, spot on man.
Exactly man. I agree 100%.
well said hope ur not right
I'm 43 and never had a family growing up my mom was always partying I haven't talked to her in 20 years and I never met my biological dad it made me tough and strong physically but always affected me mentally even though I would never admit it now I suffer from addiction .I hope and know I will beat this problem and find happiness one day.
Drink more beer and party with your mom.
Hello there the tough exterior is a shell but shells will break in impact. I hope whatever you had to protect with that shell, you can learn to care for it because it is the hurt you’re protecting. God bless
I wish you happiness. I also dealt with addiction my whole life. My father was sober, but a workaholic and my mother she pop pills. It was a drunk before I know her but she still love me and try to raise me the best she could she’s passed now and I really miss her a lot now I got my dad he’s 74. I try to do the best I can and spend time with him and I have a dog but I’m only no girlfriend and I’m in a small town and the people are not friendly any change, but I’m focusing on being happy and solitude, and try not to feel lonely, but I know I need companionship.
1) You don't beat addiction, you surrender to its power and take steps to not do the behavior without having to choose to not do it
2) chasing happiness is stupid and impossible, chase joy instead
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night...
That song speaks to me
i know thats from a song but i cant put my finger on what it is to save my life.
@@jonnie2bad Kid Cudi - Day 'N' Night
adore kid cudi..who suffers with depression..never been given credit for his amazing words
"So I went to the doctor, see what he could give me
He said, son, son you've gone too far,
'Beause smokin' an trippin' is all that you do, Oh right now!"..Ozzie and Black Sabbath
The loneliest I ever was was when I was married. Family/kids are no guarantee...dont count on that...
Wise words
We go thru lots of phases. Hopefully u learn from them when a phase comes to a close
this is the most unexpected honest comment i see in youtube
Its not the people its the community aspect that surrounds you. Western world.
Wow very insightful. Thank you
One of my best moves was moving away from “negative FAMILY MEMBERS.” My life opened up and I never felt better. I never came home for any holidays. I truly needed to heal. It was a family of bullies. The women were the worst too. Since they learned to treat every man like shit because that’s how they were raised. I saw all of their bullshit women manipulation false power. They made me laugh saying they were strong women. No, no no. Putting others down and constantly ripping on anyone different isn’t strong....It took years for them to change their behavior.
I actually had a mental breakdown from years of their abuse and finally called them out on it. I wasn’t even living near them at the time, but this is how much I was hurting from a kid to a man. Things have finally been better and I’ve forgiven them. My friends are the ones I truly trust. My family has zero emotional support....my friends have never let me down. Just as Mr. Feeny says “you don’t have to be blood to be family...”
I still will always watch my back and have my boundaries though. I have been working on forgiving them. It’s so hard because I still don’t trust them fully. How my mom and sisters treated me all those years. If you’re family is poison to you. Get the hell out and live your damn life!!! It was the best decision I ever made was to leave and enjoy life all on my terms. Try and forgive because if you don’t you will continue to harbor all that hurt and pain and anger. Listen to Don Henley’a song “The heart of the matter.”
I’ve been letting go of the hurt,pain, anger, hate...yes hate...for over 2 years now. I feel a lot better and they show better support. People can change. BUT you may still have to set boundaries. I’m finally loving myself as I’m on a new lifestyle change. I’ve been exercising, eating right and lost 27lbs in 1 month. I have a goal of losing 70 total lbs. This lifestyle change has helped slow my anxiety and depression down. I feel so much better now. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST EVERYBODY. That’s the one thing I’ve never done. Years of hating myself for my weight or what family said about me. Accept yourself and know you are a great man or woman. That you have so much potential in this world. Quit beating yourself up. Do good to others and be good to yourself. Things will be alright brothers and sisters! Keep your head up and your back straight. All of my life I’ve walked around with my head down and my back bent. I had a co worker tell me they saw how my posture was. Ever since she said that to me I try and work on my posture still to this day. I still struggle trying to keep my head up and my shoulders and back straight. Many years of childhood pain have made me that way. Never feeling loved. Anytime I’m in public I tell myself head up, back straight, shoulders back. My confidence is getting better from my lifestyle change.
Also being alone isn’t horrible. You truly learn a lot about yourself. Yes I believe we all deserve and want love. Do not force it and do not settle just to not be lonely. Make a change in your life. Something small and simple or something that will give you great benefits. Exercising and eating right and staying away from alcohol for me has truly helped me. I wish you all the best in 2020!!!
It sucks for me though. I have alot of family I do enjoy, but many that I dont. So I cant just up and leave.
I appreciate your courage to move away from toxic relation. Hope you find good life ahead and good human to have relation
I'm going through the exact same thing...it's like you described my exact situation wow.
I'm 24 and I've never felt like I've fit in. I've spent my late teens onwards devoid of true communal kinship. I have a few friends here and there which I almost never see. Some people do care about me, but I've not had any success in forming a real community. Outside of my family, I'm nobodies favourite person. I am a loner. I also have poor discipline, I'm insecure and I've never tried my hardest at anything. I am making strides and in 10 years time I hope I am still healthy and I have done myself justice. I know I'm capable but it won't be easy and I don't know if I can hack it.
Almost 34 and i can identify with everything you wrote... somedays better than other
@@mma771 Sorry to hear it man. We both have decades of productive life ahead of us. One day at a time.
Hey man. Why did you write this comment about me? Not cool dawg.
Joke aside, exact same situation and feelings as you. 25 is coming soon too. It’s a rough journey. I hope you find your happiness.
We spent eons living tribally. Things changed so fast. Humans have yet to catch up to their new world and may never.
I was a salesman on the road for many years. My customers became my friends. We ate meals together, sometimes drank beer together. My employer left me alone. I took care of their problems. A few years ago things changed. The company wanted to do business by e-mail. I should stay at home. It became a "job", no longer fun. I left.
Computers have made us isolated. So sad!
Yes, especially when smart phones was in everyone's hand. People became digital avatars, not humans.
@@cscs9192 Then dont cry and stop using it. If People really think they are lonley, meet up with all the others who claim to be alone.
Connection with nature, being of service to others...good medicine
What really sucks is when you can feel the loneliness in your chest as pain
Try vitamin D. It's seems weird. But I had chest pain for many years. I thought it was soul pain. And it's stopped when I started taking vitamin D to prevent COVID-19 complications
Vitamin D ain't going to cure loneliness.
I feel this pressure in my chest and when I think about it, a wave of something goes through my body and fingertips.
Thats one thing I noticed while living in Colombia for almost a year is how much more friendly people are over there and much more sense of a community, the problem is in the US is people are alot more selfish and only cares about themselves and it is depressing
Exactly. Especially in certain parts of America like New England where I live all people do is backstab you here. They think they’re better then you and can do no wrong, seems like everyone here has a superiority complex. But go to a place like Brazil or my country of Dominican Republic and people treat you like a human being and actually like you. No god complexes or any selfishness. The US is ridden with greedy people and selfish narcissists, and they wonder why they’re lonely.
same in canada
You need to visit the southern states. Very friendly people.
@@Kal-El207 facts
Try going to the Deep South like New Orléans, Louisiana. Everyone there is friendly, more humane and more welcoming :)
Ugggg this is going to be me. I'm 35 and have been living alone for the past 7 years after two horrible breakups. I was engaged to the first girl when I was 24 and she cheated on me after 3 years. A year later I met a better girl and we lived together for a year and a half but then she ran back into a guy from her high school days and eventually left me for him and got married. I lost my mojo after that and have not even tried to date at all and have been isolating myself from everyone and have been living alone for the past 7 years. And on top of that, I just lost a good job and am now on unemployment. Each year just seems to get harder and harder. Seeing my family on Thanksgiving the other day was rough to say the least. I'm definitely becoming "that guy"
Hope your life has gotten better since you posted here. If it hasn't then just take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Whatever happens, do not be hard on yourself.
It is totally natural to go into a period of isolation after being burned twice like that. I think you have to start with seeing value in yourself. The bad behavior of other people does not diminish your worth. Your employment situation does not diminish your worth. At the end of the day, we are all in this together. From the Earth we come, and back into the Earth we go. Life is short, strange, but remarkable. Each person is a universe in themselves. I think once you realize that your worth as a human prevails through all misfortune, you will get the confidence to start putting your life together.
😁😁😁@A.J. Ello
Stop trying to fit into the mold that doesn't want you. Dedicate yourself to those pursuits that don't require other people. Be self-sufficient both economically and emotionally. Live a life, dude. It's happening right now. Not later. Not in a few years. NOW! When you've settled into your "aloneness" and are "ok" with yourself is probably when it will all start to come around. Every second you spend wondering where your 2.5 kids and house are is a waste of your valuable time. Others, even your family, will constantly raise the bar on their expectations of you. Holding somebody else down makes people feel like they are getting ahead. YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE THEM. NEVER. Pick your path and pursue. There is nothing else.
The closest bonds that you will ever form happen in the first half of your life. This is why modern technology, the derailment of religion and morals, and the abandonment of the "arranged" marriage have made marriage not possible for many. Most people who don't have the close relationships as a child still intact rarely find happiness in a marriage for these reasons. The level of trust and personal connection between people whom meet as adults just isn't there. It's a sad reality that many don't want to face, and this is why divorce is so incredibly high.
A big problem is our phones, IMO. The other day I saw a whole family having Sunday breakfast at a diner, and everyone was quiet, staring at their phone the whole meal. They preferred the company of strangers on Instagram over their own family
Yikes !
Dead 💀 on point sad 😞 but so true
@Jj J You can hardly call it a family dinner though. I see what you're saying though.
I am thinking of buying a flip phone
cant tell you how many girls i've dated that do the same thing.
I am heading this way... 45 yrs old... was focused on my career and now because of covid the career is in the shits.. no friends.. no significant other..financially ruined and my family lives overseas.. Started to take anti depressant last month because it was difficult to even get out of bed.
I was 26 back in 06 worked in auto industry near Dayton Ohio. Made good money went to school to be a machinist all that went away. Nobody could or wanted to help I leaned toward wanted to. I still can't help thinking something good will come but I've just been treading water since. No family of my own is the most regretted thing what I wouldn't give for a family.
@@beachmasterX it is difficult isn't it? One day, I stopped calling " friends", maybe a month into the Covid Pandemic. The day I stopped reaching out is the last day I ever heard from anyone. The feeling of not existing is hard.
man ive been there it fucking sucks dude the sad part is there is no quick fix
Hey man, I'm sorry to learn that. I just wanna say you may wanna be careful with anti-depressants. They can cause a lot of problems. I've been down that road. I've suffered from depression and got a lot of benefit from a book called "The Depression Cure" by Stephen Ilardi.
Live a lie and you will live to regret it” Mark Twain
Man, Mark Twain has some all star quotes
Young Americans today are more prone to depression than the generation that literally lived through the Great Depression.
Economic depression doesn't necessarily have anything to do with psychiatric depression.
@erni muja During the Great Depression, sure, but my point is that that's not always the case during all economic depressions.
@erni muja a lot more jump of buildings now , suicide rates are rising and rising . Any other 'disease' that killed this many people every year would be labelled an epidemic.
Robert B The Great Depression affected many lives
@@tombrady7039 Indeed. My grandparents included.
As an immigrant from Europe I really believe this a serious problem in US, especially in California. I see people developing all kinds of internal mechanisms to deal with that.
I live in Spain and I am the guy Joe talks about at the beginning, only I am 35 not 70. So def not just a problem in the US.
I love being alone, the only time I feel stress or anger is when I have to interact with other people. When it’s just me I’m at total peace. Wish everyone else was as secure with being alone as I am.
Awesome! You have the makings of a happy life and I envy you. Avoid most of the world's people if you're a natural introvert, you'll avoid a life of pain, waste and bullshit.
We're all still social animals though--but only ONE person you like is plenty. The only problem is that women insist on popularity in guys, so if you're the guy you're still largely screwed if you want a girlfriend--even a nice one.
I've come to the conclusion that for guys, one person they're fond of is fine. It's all they need. This obsession that our society has with popularity as a part of image is rather pathetic actually, regardless of whether you're 16 or 60 (or anything else.)
Socializing is fine, falling apart inside if you can't do it constantly and incessantly is lameass.