Absolutely right! Just like Christopher Columbus took the native American as stupid when nursed back to health while he was ill and then showered him with gifts of precious stones gold, diamonds. The European payed this kindness by killing the natives.
Probably the narcissists and other people of the dark triad personality disorders. They obsess wayyy too much over power and enjoy withholding help. The normalization of withholding help, even in the most serious of situations is probably why they think that kindness is indicative of stupidity.
Entitled immature people will see boundaries as a challenge to conquer. Don’t take it as a duty to train people to be worthy of your friendship. Disengage.
Kindness , is like Compassion . Not enough individuals , have it , and many abuse it . Their negative actions and words , do come back to haunt them - as to when it comes back , that's the creators decision , but will always happen .
No good deed goes unrewarded . Same applys to bad behavior - it gets it's rewards , just not what the persons who've exhibited such behavior expect . Namaste 🙏 ❤
I think the quote goes something like, “Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I’m kind to everyone but if you’re not kind to me then kindness is not what you will remember about me.
The wording is "But when someone is unkind to me. Weak.. is not what you're going to remember about me." Attributed to Al Capone Thx for sharing and very fitting..😉
You know what? I'm taking your idea and I'm going to make a sign to hang in my home with your words on. I have reached the limits of my tolerance of abuse of my kindness and putting these words up will hopefully show upfront that boundaries are in place. Thank you for the 'suggestion'.
I volunteer for a charity. Most people we help are grateful but a minority get more and more demanding. My resolution for next year is to be kind to myself and firmer in my boundaries remembering that if I am depleted (emotionally/financially/physically) by those who shout loudest I have nothing left for the gentle who may actually need more
@carolineg3079. I volunteer for a charity and like you I found I put in a lot of effort and found no appreciation. I decided a few months ago, if my "client" shows appreciation during the call then I really help them. If they don't show any appreciation, I will end the call and follow up. After following this routine, I felt satisfied and I had more time to associate with kind people.
We can't help those who don't want to help themselves. The helping relationship is dependent, firstly on the parties involved taking responsibilty for themselves, then agree the role each will play in suporting the client address their own needs.
Well said. "Kindness should flow from a place of strength, inspiring respect, not pity or exploitation." "A tree that bends with the wind does not break, but a tree that bends too much will."
Women, especially, are enculturated to be kind and nurturing, to take responsibility for others, and to expect little, if any, reciprocity. They commonly see this modeled by how their mothers treat their fathers. We have to overcome our tendency toward self-abnegation and submission to others' demands. Think about when you feel used and resentful. Then, consider what boundaries to set to avoid those situations and retain your energy and sel-respect.
Yes, society already sees the consequences: if nobody cares for their children, weak, and seniors, society must pay at a whole. Children have narrow development windows mothers often catch up upon solely by instinct, watching their children 24/7 often it's only weeks or months when children are able to learn a special skill. If you don't recognize the development-stages and hand them an overhead screen in their cribs instead, you get desturbed and movement-impaired children, who lost their 3D fine motorics and are unable to deal with other people. Those will not care for their fellow humans, and you yourself by accidental infirmity and age will very likely end up in a robotics run institutionwhose shareholders only want to make money out of you and in the end will further this canadian policy that speeds up your demise if cost & benefit to the institution no longer balances.
The teaching that kindness rooted in self-respect amplifies its power is both inspiring and empowering, showing kindness as a strength rather than a weakness.
I was raised to Respect and be Kind to all living things on Mother Earth. The teaching of Zen in this video I learned the hard way as I grew older. If any human is not respectful and kind to me I will give them a reflection of them in return. As I grew older it became easier to say No. ALWAYS take care of number 1 first, meaning you, Because no one else will do it for you. It's an extremely Cruel world out there and you have to be very Wise about it all!!!!
😅Thank you for sharing this beautiful Buddhist philosophy. As a Christian, I was taught to be kind and suffer the consequences in this cruel world. This video has helped me understand that balance.
Your message has offered me so much clarity. I love giving but it has often left me feeling misunderstood, used, abused and completely drained. Im mature enough to realize the issue is mine - but I couldn't work it out. I'm am so grateful for this wisdom presented in such a graspable way. I guess you're never too old to become aware of self-defeating actions. Thank you!
Thank you I would like to hear about detachment from abusive family. How forgiving is not forgetting and allowing abuse, but is allowing your growth. I hope this makes sense.
A bee or wasp can sting.. do you forget? no you do not forget but you can forgive the bee because that is just a part of who they are. If you do not want to be stung by family, set your boundaries. I have had to do that with my family. They know not to come over my house. Sometimes I will invite one of them to lunch since i have become stronger in my own being and know how to avoid the stings with a controlled environment. Bless you on your journey. Remember you are important too❤️
The other thing I have learned along this journey is that you don’t need to forgive either! You can quite easily continue on with the family but forgiveness is not a necessity. OR others would say you can forgive that “behaviour”. Whatever sits well with you. YOU are the most important person here. ❤️
Too much forgiveness just emboldens the abusive person to treat you even worse…that’s been my experience unfortunately with them. Strong boundaries are needed!
Kindness does indeed help you weed out your friendship garden, and it takes courage to endure the process, even if it leads to aloneness. Be your own best friend, Its a great starting place.
right ! just learned this recently ..its tricky to see the line between kindness and people pleasing and naïveté ...eckhart tolle speaks about empathy without wisdom allowing others to take advantage ..wisdom is careful where it spends energy and who it trusts for what...sadly if one doesnt learn this lesson many people become bitter and resentful ..poisoning the kind person from with in❤
I am most generous to people who can not reciprocate my charity. I am not looking to make friends with anyone, and I accept that some people don't like me, and others have been foolish enough to try to exploit my kindness. I can never stop being kind and generous to people because it is part of my purpose. Today, I am much more selective of who I will be generous, to. There is such a thing as overreaching.
I used to think like that until one day, God 'heard' my heart cry out and answered a prayer I couldn't even ask for. That's when I realized how special His love for little ole me is and I am amazed how beautiful it is. My sister used to be kind and thoughtful to everyone, even those who would betray her. Now that God has taken her home, I finally understand she was loving everyone unconditionally like God and Jesus loves you and me. Their way is better and truthful and more rewarding that keeping scores.
Attacks on acts of kindness is revealing to us all who these people really are. We are witnessing the unveiling of who is who. Something much greater than, evil is among many of us freeing us from the chains we have been locked into since birth. Universal divine powers of principles always prevails. ⚖️⏳❤️✌🏼
I _used_ to think I was being helpful when "helping" the homeless. At one point, one of them told me that kindness was weakness and it really hurt my feelings. Eventually, I realized I was being an enabler and THAT doesn't help ANYONE. It took a while, but I did eventually see that people see my kindness as weakness. And now that I no longer have anything left to give, I don't. I also have nothing, not even friends. I'm done with this life and cannot wait to die.
Sadly this is a profound truth. I assumed decency and honesty and kindness was the norm among my circle. Many hard lessons later I'm a wiser human who pours out love on animals. They never betray me.
Attacks on acts of kindness is revealing to us all who these people really are. We are witnessing the unveiling of who is who. Something much greater than, evil is among many of us freeing us from the chains we have been locked into since birth. Universal divine powers of principles always prevails. ⚖️
If only every parent could teach their child this when they are little. Also I learnt that if you let others abuse your kindness then you are in a way abusing them by not being able to say no.
This is another excellent video. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It is very important for empathetic people, especially those in the “helping professions” such as nursing, to balance kindness with firmness and to set limits.
Kindness doesnt make ppl disrespect you. Kindness gives ppl an opportunity to show what is inside of them when they are not forced, be that kindness or disrespect or disdain or gratitude, whatever the case may be.
It's surprising how kindness can lead to disrespect. Maybe the issue lies in setting boundaries and showing self-respect. What do you all think about this?
Well, I have a neighbor(I’m 63) and he is 42, and I’ve helped him with his yard in the past because of his work schedule and he plays mind games with me, for example: ) 1) mumbling under his breath when I walk by, 2) pretending to hit my car with his motorcycle 3) parking in my space even though I’ve asked him not to
@@katinabottenYou're a 63 year old woman doing yardwork and other chores for your neighbor, a man over 2 decades younger than you. WHY??? In return, he shows you disrespect in different ways. Ask yourself why you feel an urge to do so much for this guy in the first place. He is old enough to be your son. If anything, he should be helping you. You are WAY over the line, acting more like his mother, than a neighbor. He probably treats his mother the way he disrespects you. Back off. He doesn't need or value your over helping. If you want to help people who need it, volunteer for a soup kitchen or something like that. Your neighbor can and should fend for himself. It's not clear if you are offering help, if he is asking for it, or both. Stop offering, he is not your responsibility. If he asks or demand help, tell him you don't have time for that. No apology, no explanation, no argument. If he insists, stay quiet, look him in the eyes and tell him goodbye, period. Then walk away. Don't respond to his actions anymore. If he parks in your private driveway, call the police to have his car towed. If you have an HOA, file a written covenants violation report and follow up on it. No discussions, no arguments. Find somebody who appreciates your help. Maybe an elderly neighbor. ❤
@@katinabottenI would immediately cease helping him. Common courtesy is all that is required to and from a neighbour as far as I am concerned. In my opinion (also to answer the previous person’s question), I feel that kindness and people pleasing get confused sometimes and yet they are completely different. If others think that I am a people pleaser, they will push more and more and appreciate less and less. This is just an observation of my own experience. I give everyone ONE chance. Time is the most precious gift we can give anyone and I sure am not wasting mine on people that are not worth it. ✌️ I DO remain aware however, to wipe the disappointment slate clean each time so I don’t become a bitter old cat lady! Leave the neighbour to his pettiness and do something nice for someone else or yourself ❤️
everyone can see with discernment the actions of others. if they see sincerity with a Godly heart, it will mark the core of their soul in an unspeakable way...very powerful influential attraction. if they see disingenuous cynical actions, it will be negative and repulsive.
Yes, we are responsible for how we behave and learning boundaries is vital. However, our society puts 100% of the responsibility on to the kind people and scapegoats them. So to have real balance it is up to our collective to hold people accountable for their behavior, not just the kind people. It is this way of thinking that only those that are kind are responsible is a big reason today we have a society that is full of hate. Buddhism is only correct up to a point.
Some kindness is a cloak like a wolf in sheeps clothing. Some who accept kindness are wolfs in sheeps clothing. Still give kind of heart don't give up respect for yourself.
I'm allways Nice!Does not Matter!Be Kind To Yourself!Because Its What I Project!That's All That Matters,when it Comes to the Integrity of your ❤!First of All dont Volunteer Help,from a People Pleasing Point of Outlook of your view at the Time!Boundaries Set by You For What You Want,with a Positive Outlook!😮Take care,now!
I find it hard to understand this paradox. When I am kind, I get disrespected and overlooked. And when I set boundaries, I still get disrespected and overlooked. I don't understand. 😞
Thanks! So now I’m not wise enough either? What about that people get some self respect? It’s shocking how people can develop ego because you help them! 😷
The first thing one needs to understand is that you are not a person. Remember the person is a product of your environment you are not. So whilst you believe yourself to be something or other such as the person you are asleep and open to subtle manipulation of the society in which you live. It is interesting to note that the mind moulds itself to circumstances in which it is exposed to. You are not the mind. So then the key is to find out what you are in reality rather than identifying with the dream you have imagined in your mind. The person you take yourself to be is merely a figment of your imagination it is not real. Once you discover your real being you will confidently do away with the expectations of society and of the others. If you do not feel like being nice don’t, just be. As long as you do not hurt anything or one all is good.
Great content and valuable information on how to navigate relationships.😊 Not sure, but you sound like an A/I voice. Diction and the pauses felt un-natural.
That is likely about people's pleasing and overpowering behaviour which is toxic af and has nothing about kindness. Kindness is when people don't expect a reward for things they do. It’s when you naturally operate through your heart and be able to express your boundaries.
Sometimes people mistake, kindness for weakness, and that is not true. You can be kind to somebody or kind to people doesn’t mean you’re gonna let them walk all over you just so you know.
You can be kind and detached, which most people are. You can also be kind and come across as desperate. Guess which one triggers the prey response in humans
I'm sure that's human nature. People tends to believe that a kind good hearted person is a fool. Instead of being grateful, many times they pick it up on that good person... Just human nature.. 80% of people..
Being strategic in how you deal with others is the very ROOT of the problem, NOT the solution. You have nothing to learn from this video because kindness is not part of your heart's vocabulary.
It’s SAD that the world sees kindness for weakness to exploit the giver! This kinda goes against the teachings of Jesus, but then again, Jesus also said to become wise by walking with the wise, hang out with fools and watch your life fall apart, so I think use your gut instincts here, just don’t let people use you
Righteousness is an abomination to the wicked, just as wickedness is an abomination to the righteous. Love the fact that there's a bit about the human mirror, and the whole video is AI. xD
It amazes me how many people just assume that kind people don't have boundaries. Kidness iror not, those without boundaries are gullible and easily taken advantage. It has nothing to do with kindness. There are way too many assumptions in this video and comments i read in posts like these.
When we are kind… we reflect the God that made heavens and earth and all things in them. This is part of his personality. Jehovah and his Son Christ Jesus.
Be nice to people who choose to treat you nice. Be mean to people who choose to treat you mean. It's their choice. This makes for a fairer world. - mirror.
@@amberackerson5916 Thanks! Detachment works too, if it's somebody you don't care about. For some people, showing them how they are treating others by mirroring, may make them understand and learn to choose to treat others better. If it doesn't, then walk away. It's a butterfly effect for a more balanced world.
Ummmm, I assure you, that you are REAL and so is everything else or should I say everyone else! If you do not believe me, than at least think of it this way, if you feel pain when sick or hurt yourself, than you are real, and the sky (universe), the way the planet is positioned, sun, moon and stars, the mathematical probability that it just happened is 1 in a zillion billion (if I did not exist, I would not have read your message and I would not be responding)
I think this guy is conflating being a patsy with being kind. They’re two very different things. The world just works better when people show respect and kindness, even to those who are strangers.
Ask yourself this: Would you rather have the respect of those who disrespect you for being a nice guy, or Feel respect for the person you see when you look in the mirror? Do they matter? Not at all, not the slightest bit. When you can honestly choose the guy in the mirror, you're free.
You must be cruel to be kind. I used to help everyone. And I got so screwed over by people taking advantage of me. I don't help anyone now. I focus on my family and good friends.
People can often confuse kindness for stupidity. 🙏
@@steadyeddie7 very true, take of how you help people.
Absolutely right! Just like Christopher Columbus took the native American as stupid when nursed back to health while he was ill and then showered him with gifts of precious stones gold, diamonds. The European payed this kindness by killing the natives.
Or weakness
@@astralarchaeology5840 or naivety.
Probably the narcissists and other people of the dark triad personality disorders. They obsess wayyy too much over power and enjoy withholding help. The normalization of withholding help, even in the most serious of situations is probably why they think that kindness is indicative of stupidity.
As soon as you stop giving.. people stop calling.
@@Toknowtheeventofgod-cw8hw true they love you when they can get something from you
@ZenPhilosophy1723
And only then...
Entitled immature people will see boundaries as a challenge to conquer. Don’t take it as a duty to train people to be worthy of your friendship. Disengage.
True, Thanks for watching
Very wise words!
Unless you are able to transmute karma . Leave . Dharma is the fruit of kindness
@ supernatural claims with zero proof. Nonsense. Morality is nonsense dogma
They're not only immature...
Anyway, that's an understatement.
Kindness is never a weakness it's always a strength. It's nature's way of showing you that those who abuse it are not worthy of your time or trust.
Thanks so much for the enlightenment
Kindness , is like Compassion .
Not enough individuals , have it , and many abuse it .
Their negative actions and words , do come back to haunt them - as to when it comes back , that's the creators decision , but will always happen .
In 90 % cases when I was nice , helpful and kind to people, I was taken advantage of !!! The society is sick !
Humanity has changed over the years. Itb is hard to kick against pricks.
Yes its a sign of bad character to take advantage of nice/kind persons. Its low morale, this is the majority of People today
No good deed goes unrewarded .
Same applys to bad behavior - it gets it's rewards , just not what the persons who've exhibited such behavior expect .
Namaste 🙏 ❤
Agreed!
@@davidarundel6187The other side of that coin is ‘No good deed goes unpunished? 🥰
No good turn goes unpunished! That statement is the truth I’ve learned over my 62 yrs on this earth❤
🙏
how will that way of thinking help anyone be better, have more empathy for another and even to grow emotionally and spiritually to love one another?
I think the quote goes something like, “Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I’m kind to everyone but if you’re not kind to me then kindness is not what you will remember about me.
Help with limits, Thanks for watching
Al Capone !
The wording is
"But when someone is unkind to me. Weak.. is not what you're going to remember about me."
Attributed to Al Capone
Thx for sharing and very fitting..😉
You know what? I'm taking your idea and I'm going to make a sign to hang in my home with your words on. I have reached the limits of my tolerance of abuse of my kindness and putting these words up will hopefully show upfront that boundaries are in place. Thank you for the 'suggestion'.
Those who lack kindness mistake it for weakness, because in their world there are only 2 animals, predator & prey.
@tiggtiggs true, Thanks for watching
Absolutely
I volunteer for a charity. Most people we help are grateful but a minority get more and more demanding. My resolution for next year is to be kind to myself and firmer in my boundaries remembering that if I am depleted (emotionally/financially/physically) by those who shout loudest I have nothing left for the gentle who may actually need more
That is the greatest achievement that you would have been done, Thanks so much for watching
@carolineg3079. I volunteer for a charity and like you I found I put in a lot of effort and found no appreciation. I decided a few months ago, if my "client" shows appreciation during the call then I really help them. If they don't show any appreciation, I will end the call and follow up. After following this routine, I felt satisfied and I had more time to associate with kind people.
We can't help those who don't want to help themselves.
The helping relationship is dependent, firstly on the parties involved taking responsibilty for themselves, then agree the role each will play in suporting the client address their own needs.
Maybe this in not accurate, people's perception can and will change. @tiggtiggs
Zen Buddhism has involvement with fascism. There is a schism and one must be careful.
Well said. "Kindness should flow from a place of strength, inspiring respect, not pity or exploitation." "A tree that bends with the wind does not break, but a tree that bends too much will."
Thanks for watching hope you have understood the lesson very well welcome back again
Be polite, not friendly
Im done with being kind all my life. Only to be taken advantage of and misunderstood. This video speaks to me.
Thanks for watching
So true I never set boundaries and self care. I always did out of harmony and love forgetting to love myself first
@@lebogangngwenya2550 Thanks for learning, start the change and move on
Women, especially, are enculturated to be kind and nurturing, to take responsibility for others, and to expect little, if any, reciprocity. They commonly see this modeled by how their mothers treat their fathers. We have to overcome our tendency toward self-abnegation and submission to others' demands. Think about when you feel used and resentful. Then, consider what boundaries to set to avoid those situations and retain your energy and sel-respect.
🙏
Yes, society already sees the consequences: if nobody cares for their children, weak, and seniors, society must pay at a whole.
Children have narrow development windows mothers often catch up upon solely by instinct, watching their children 24/7 often it's only weeks or months when children are able to learn a special skill. If you don't recognize the development-stages and hand them an overhead screen in their cribs instead, you get desturbed and movement-impaired children, who lost their 3D fine motorics and are unable to deal with other people. Those will not care for their fellow humans, and you yourself by accidental infirmity and age will very likely end up in a robotics run institutionwhose shareholders only want to make money out of you and in the end will further this canadian policy that speeds up your demise if cost & benefit to the institution no longer balances.
A typical western perspective.
Beautifully put. And true
The teaching that kindness rooted in self-respect amplifies its power is both inspiring and empowering, showing kindness as a strength rather than a weakness.
They didn't say it in easy terms that when it's too late to realize the enemy is the one you've trusted
I was raised to Respect and be Kind to all living things on Mother Earth. The teaching of Zen in this video I learned the hard way as I grew older. If any human is not respectful and kind to me I will give them a reflection of them in return. As I grew older it became easier to say No. ALWAYS take care of number 1 first, meaning you, Because no one else will do it for you. It's an extremely Cruel world out there and you have to be very Wise about it all!!!!
Thanks
Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you 😊. Namaste 🙏🏽
Thanks for watching 🙏
This is a video worth watching again and again, because every time I watch it, I feel a different layer of meaning ✅
@@SpiritualAwakening34 Thanks so much for watching
Thanks for an awesome video....
My kindness has also been taken for granted... so I really enjoyed the wisdom you shared...
Much love ❤️
Thanks for the information, must learn to say No
🙏
😅Thank you for sharing this beautiful Buddhist philosophy. As a Christian, I was taught to be kind and suffer the consequences in this cruel world. This video has helped me understand that balance.
🙏
Your message has offered me so much clarity. I love giving but it has often left me feeling misunderstood, used, abused and completely drained. Im mature enough to realize the issue is mine - but I couldn't work it out. I'm am so grateful for this wisdom presented in such a graspable way. I guess you're never too old to become aware of self-defeating actions. Thank you!
Thanks so much for watching
Same
It's sad how society has changed so much that this is a problem.
It matters with a person
@@desertangelfish140 it’s because of narcissism and emotional immaturity. That results from bad caregiving as children and an oppressive society.
@StellaLG the older generations left a bad example. Things get worse from a bad copy.
@Lorrainegalloway444 bo omer generation would be the worst imho. very selfish.
Each generation has to learn anew. Fortunate are those who have teachers
Thank you, your video's are a great source of help to me.
@@wendee2022 am glad to hear such an amazing love, much love too for watching.
I’d like to hear how to deal with bullies. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. 🙏
Thanks so much for the support of watching
Kindness is best when done with boundaries, even if people get mad.
@@vanessanassif very true
Thank you
I would like to hear about detachment from abusive family. How forgiving is not forgetting and allowing abuse, but is allowing your growth. I hope this makes sense.
OK Thanks for watching
A bee or wasp can sting.. do you forget? no you do not forget but you can forgive the bee because that is just a part of who they are. If you do not want to be stung by family, set your boundaries. I have had to do that with my family. They know not to come over my house. Sometimes I will invite one of them to lunch since i have become stronger in my own being and know how to avoid the stings with a controlled environment. Bless you on your journey. Remember you are important too❤️
The other thing I have learned along this journey is that you don’t need to forgive either! You can quite easily continue on with the family but forgiveness is not a necessity. OR others would say you can forgive that “behaviour”. Whatever sits well with you. YOU are the most important person here. ❤️
Too much forgiveness just emboldens the abusive person to treat you even worse…that’s been my experience unfortunately with them. Strong boundaries are needed!
Kindness does indeed help you weed out your friendship garden, and it takes courage to endure the process, even if it leads to aloneness. Be your own best friend, Its a great starting place.
@@David-jk2dp 🙏
It’s a point of fact. It doesn’t stop me being kind or helping people it’s an observation from my experience in the real world!
@@bbslj9040 👍
Thanks!
Thanks so much for the support
right ! just learned this recently ..its tricky to see the line between kindness and people pleasing and naïveté ...eckhart tolle speaks about empathy without wisdom allowing others to take advantage ..wisdom is careful where it spends energy and who it trusts for what...sadly if one doesnt learn this lesson many people become bitter and resentful ..poisoning the kind person from with in❤
@@zantecarroll4448 🙏
Very wise lesson. ❤❤❤
Thanks for watching
Perfect timing. Learned a lot.
Thanks
🙏🌹🥰🕊thankyou
🙏
I am most generous to people who can not reciprocate my charity. I am not looking to make friends with anyone, and I accept that some people don't like me, and others have been foolish enough to try to exploit my kindness. I can never stop being kind and generous to people because it is part of my purpose. Today, I am much more selective of who I will be generous, to. There is such a thing as overreaching.
@@TonyRome402 Thanks for learning the lesson, that is how change start
Words of wisdom, not to long but on point. Thank you
Thanks
I used to think like that until one day, God 'heard' my heart cry out and answered a prayer I couldn't even ask for. That's when I realized how special His love for little ole me is and I am amazed how beautiful it is. My sister used to be kind and thoughtful to everyone, even those who would betray her. Now that God has taken her home, I finally understand she was loving everyone unconditionally like God and Jesus loves you and me. Their way is better and truthful and more rewarding that keeping scores.
@@texaspotterssculptors4658 🙏
Attacks on acts of kindness is revealing to us all who these people really are. We are witnessing the unveiling of who is who. Something much greater than, evil is among many of us freeing us from the chains we have been locked into since birth. Universal divine powers of principles always prevails. ⚖️⏳❤️✌🏼
Thanks
Ive never been disrespected for my kindness because im assertive with healthy boundaries too. Theres being kind and theres being a doormat .
You knew your boundaries with limits early, Thanks for watching
I believe these teachings (: …it summarizes what i am learning in my everyday life. (:
@@onehughes5093 Thanks so much for watching am Glad you learnt, welcome back again.
We teach others how to treat us.
@@rickdworsky6457 👍
You can only do so much for someone the rest is up to them
@@PorkoX9 help with limits
I'm rewiring more about kindness and balance 😊of giving.
@@leschumaker5395 it's not bad to help but we need to help with limits.
I _used_ to think I was being helpful when "helping" the homeless. At one point, one of them told me that kindness was weakness and it really hurt my feelings. Eventually, I realized I was being an enabler and THAT doesn't help ANYONE.
It took a while, but I did eventually see that people see my kindness as weakness. And now that I no longer have anything left to give, I don't. I also have nothing, not even friends. I'm done with this life and cannot wait to die.
@@jeaniebird999 Thanks for learning
God loves you. Its time for you to show yourself love and not give up. Count your blessings start again xx
This exactly the message that I needed today.
Am glad you liked the video thanks for watching
Your teachings are a bridge to deeper understanding.
Thanks for the appreciation 🙏
I appreciate this. The voice sounds like Rick Rubin. This is helpful information for me tonight. Thank you whoever you are
Thanks so much for watching
The worst mistake anyone can make is believing other people will treat you with the same kindness and consideration with which you treat them.
Sadly this is a profound truth. I assumed decency and honesty and kindness was the norm among my circle. Many hard lessons later I'm a wiser human who pours out love on animals. They never betray me.
Attacks on acts of kindness is revealing to us all who these people really are. We are witnessing the unveiling of who is who. Something much greater than, evil is among many of us freeing us from the chains we have been locked into since birth. Universal divine powers of principles always prevails. ⚖️
Great
Thank you for the video ❤.
@@healthandfitnesscare188. 🙏
Thank you
🙏
Wonderful channel!
Thanks
If only every parent could teach their child this when they are little. Also I learnt that if you let others abuse your kindness then you are in a way abusing them by not being able to say no.
@@moondust1979 Thanks for watching
This is another excellent video. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
It is very important for empathetic people, especially those in the “helping professions” such as nursing, to balance kindness with firmness and to set limits.
True help with limits and boundaries.
Kindness without wisdom is treacherous..
Anything without wisdom is treacherous.
Very true
Oh yeah I have that sign on my back! Not an easy one to carry!
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My dad moved back to ireland his place of birth he said to me they will take you're kindness for weakness ishould have listened xx
Now you know, Thanks so much for watching
You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
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Kindness doesnt make ppl disrespect you. Kindness gives ppl an opportunity to show what is inside of them when they are not forced, be that kindness or disrespect or disdain or gratitude, whatever the case may be.
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It's surprising how kindness can lead to disrespect. Maybe the issue lies in setting boundaries and showing self-respect. What do you all think about this?
Well, I have a neighbor(I’m 63) and he is 42, and I’ve helped him with his yard in the past because of his work schedule and he plays mind games with me, for example: ) 1) mumbling under his breath when I walk by, 2) pretending to hit my car with his motorcycle 3) parking in my space even though I’ve asked him not to
@@katinabottenYou're a 63 year old woman doing yardwork and other chores for your neighbor, a man over 2 decades younger than you. WHY??? In return, he shows you disrespect in different ways. Ask yourself why you feel an urge to do so much for this guy in the first place. He is old enough to be your son. If anything, he should be helping you.
You are WAY over the line, acting more like his mother, than a neighbor. He probably treats his mother the way he disrespects you.
Back off. He doesn't need or value your over helping. If you want to help people who need it, volunteer for a soup kitchen or something like that. Your neighbor can and should fend for himself.
It's not clear if you are offering help, if he is asking for it, or both. Stop offering, he is not your responsibility. If he asks or demand help, tell him you don't have time for that. No apology, no explanation, no argument. If he insists, stay quiet, look him in the eyes and tell him goodbye, period. Then walk away. Don't respond to his actions anymore. If he parks in your private driveway, call the police to have his car towed. If you have an HOA, file a written covenants violation report and follow up on it. No discussions, no arguments. Find somebody who appreciates your help. Maybe an elderly neighbor. ❤
@@katinabottenI would immediately cease helping him. Common courtesy is all that is required to and from a neighbour as far as I am concerned. In my opinion (also to answer the previous person’s question), I feel that kindness and people pleasing get confused sometimes and yet they are completely different. If others think that I am a people pleaser, they will push more and more and appreciate less and less. This is just an observation of my own experience. I give everyone ONE chance. Time is the most precious gift we can give anyone and I sure am not wasting mine on people that are not worth it. ✌️ I DO remain aware however, to wipe the disappointment slate clean each time so I don’t become a bitter old cat lady! Leave the neighbour to his pettiness and do something nice for someone else or yourself ❤️
Thank you so much for your thoughts here and to distinguish between a people pleaser and common courtesy
Very true giving is not bad but how you give matters alot.
everyone can see with discernment the actions of others. if they see sincerity with a Godly heart, it will mark the core of their soul in an unspeakable way...very powerful influential attraction.
if they see disingenuous cynical actions, it will be negative and repulsive.
@@texaspotterssculptors4658 🙏
That is,if you allow them to disrepect you.🌌💓🥂💐💎
A physician that I know used to work in a free clinic, and the lack of gratitude from the patients motivated this doctor to quit doing the work.
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Yes, we are responsible for how we behave and learning boundaries is vital. However, our society puts 100% of the responsibility on to the kind people and scapegoats them. So to have real balance it is up to our collective to hold people accountable for their behavior, not just the kind people. It is this way of thinking that only those that are kind are responsible is a big reason today we have a society that is full of hate. Buddhism is only correct up to a point.
True having boundaries while helping is a good thing
Some kindness is a cloak like a wolf in sheeps clothing. Some who accept kindness are wolfs in sheeps clothing. Still give kind of heart don't give up respect for yourself.
@@journeybrook9357 very true
Why is my kindness something *I* have to manage. The world is sick!
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Because it enables behavior that is negative.
Kindness that leads to imbalance 5:18 etc... this is why... It took ne 55 years to finally begin to get it!!
I'm allways Nice!Does not Matter!Be Kind To Yourself!Because Its What I Project!That's All That Matters,when it Comes to the Integrity of your ❤!First of All dont Volunteer Help,from a People Pleasing Point of Outlook of your view at the Time!Boundaries Set by You For What You Want,with a Positive Outlook!😮Take care,now!
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You can only do so much for someone the rest is up to them.
@@PeacefulHorizons-q7l 🙏
I find it hard to understand this paradox. When I am kind, I get disrespected and overlooked. And when I set boundaries, I still get disrespected and overlooked. I don't understand. 😞
@@starzintheskyz4477 it matters on how you show kindness, it is not bad to help but help with limits
Being kind isn't the problem, it's the horrible people who take advantage of your kindness.
Perfect
Thanks! So now I’m not wise enough either? What about that people get some self respect? It’s shocking how people can develop ego because you help them! 😷
You need to be careful of whom you help and how you help stay focused with your life but don't empress anyone.
@ I know now! It took some battles to get where I am now! Happy new year 🎆 😘♥️
The first thing one needs to understand is that you are not a person. Remember the person is a product of your environment you are not. So whilst you believe yourself to be something or other such as the person you are asleep and open to subtle manipulation of the society in which you live. It is interesting to note that the mind moulds itself to circumstances in which it is exposed to. You are not the mind. So then the key is to find out what you are in reality rather than identifying with the dream you have imagined in your mind. The person you take yourself to be is merely a figment of your imagination it is not real. Once you discover your real being you will confidently do away with the expectations of society and of the others. If you do not feel like being nice don’t, just be. As long as you do not hurt anything or one all is good.
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Great content and valuable information on how to navigate relationships.😊
Not sure, but you sound like an A/I voice. Diction and the pauses felt un-natural.
Thanks for watching, hope you got the message 🙏
This is common sense. Don't need to explain a whole philosophy to say that kindness does not mean letting others walk all over you.
OK, Thanks for watching
🥰❤🎃💚🎯👀thank you
Thanks
That is likely about people's pleasing and overpowering behaviour which is toxic af and has nothing about kindness. Kindness is when people don't expect a reward for things they do. It’s when you naturally operate through your heart and be able to express your boundaries.
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Sometimes people mistake, kindness for weakness, and that is not true. You can be kind to somebody or kind to people doesn’t mean you’re gonna let them walk all over you just so you know.
Thanks for watching🙏
You can be kind and detached, which most people are.
You can also be kind and come across as desperate.
Guess which one triggers the prey response in humans
You need to help with boundaries and limits.
I'm sure that's human nature.
People tends to believe that a kind good hearted person is a fool. Instead of being grateful, many times they pick it up on that good person...
Just human nature.. 80% of people..
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Treat people accordingly to strategy. Be pragmatic. Treating people how you want to be treated is a delusion.
@@adonaiel-rohi2460 very true
So I’ve learnt
Only respect to oneself above all
It's fine to treat others as you wish to be treated, IF it is reciprocal. Test once and see what response you get.
@ you treat people how they want to be treated within reason if they are good to you.
Being strategic in how you deal with others is the very ROOT of the problem, NOT the solution. You have nothing to learn from this video because kindness is not part of your heart's vocabulary.
I don't help people unless I have to.
@@donnasilver940 👍
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It’s SAD that the world sees kindness for weakness to exploit the giver! This kinda goes against the teachings of Jesus, but then again, Jesus also said to become wise by walking with the wise, hang out with fools and watch your life fall apart, so I think use your gut instincts here, just don’t let people use you
@@katinabotten 👍
Righteousness is an abomination to the wicked, just as wickedness is an abomination to the righteous.
Love the fact that there's a bit about the human mirror, and the whole video is AI. xD
@@JB-mm5ff get the message and appreciate
Beautiful video, will take it to heart…really needed this🪷
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It amazes me how many people just assume that kind people don't have boundaries. Kidness iror not, those without boundaries are gullible and easily taken advantage. It has nothing to do with kindness. There are way too many assumptions in this video and comments i read in posts like these.
You can't even be too kind to your family. They may see it as a weakness and try to take advantage of you.
So true, help with limits
When we are kind… we reflect the God that made heavens and earth and all things in them. This is part of his personality. Jehovah and his Son Christ Jesus.
Be nice to people who choose to treat you nice.
Be mean to people who choose to treat you mean.
It's their choice.
This makes for a fairer world.
- mirror.
Thanks so much for watching
Disagree about being mean. Detach and take care of yourself. There is nothing to be gained with being mean, just bring your kindness home to yourself.
@@amberackerson5916 Thanks! Detachment works too, if it's somebody you don't care about.
For some people, showing them how they are treating others by mirroring, may make them understand and learn to choose to treat others better. If it doesn't, then walk away.
It's a butterfly effect for a more balanced world.
@@ZenPhilosophy1723 Thanks for sharing!
Self sacrifice because of love.
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Respect, disrespect, all in your mind and the mind does not exist just like everything around you if there’s a YOU !
Ummmm, I assure you, that you are REAL and so is everything else or should I say everyone else! If you do not believe me, than at least think of it this way, if you feel pain when sick or hurt yourself, than you are real, and the sky (universe), the way the planet is positioned, sun, moon and stars, the mathematical probability that it just happened is 1 in a zillion billion (if I did not exist, I would not have read your message and I would not be responding)
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Thanks for your opinion
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I hope I can find the Jesus type of kindness. It helps to treat most people like angry toddlers.
They shouldn't have highlighted to be good to others and turn the other cheek. You would think the devil said that.
@@ND-or5so 👍
I think this guy is conflating being a patsy with being kind. They’re two very different things. The world just works better when people show respect and kindness, even to those who are strangers.
@@EmilyTienne thanks for your opinion.
It's funny and quite serious. When we observe a teaching that involves Mindfulness.
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The narcissist will see your kindness for weakness and will definitely work on it
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Wonderful story but a little redundant. 10 minutes would be "better balanced" 😅😍
Ask yourself this:
Would you rather have the respect of those who disrespect you for being a nice guy, or
Feel respect for the person you see when you look in the mirror?
Do they matter? Not at all, not the slightest bit. When you can honestly choose the guy in the mirror, you're free.
Thanks for the enlightenment
You must be cruel to be kind. I used to help everyone. And I got so screwed over by people taking advantage of me.
I don't help anyone now. I focus on my family and good friends.
@@moniqueengleman873 it's not bad to help but we need to help with limits
@ZenPhilosophy1723 yes boundaries. I have healthy boundaries these days.
Take no notice of the click bait. Just be kind anyewway but be aware of who you use your time and energy on , no vampires.
You need to know how you help.