“Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, I am kid to everyone, but if you are unkind to me it will not be weakness that you will remember me for.” -Al Capone
Nice n kind are not one n same…. Nice people are not always kind n kind people aren’t necessarily nice. Need an example? On my way my car has a flat tyre.. Nice person: oh poor u, I’m so sorry u r in such a situation. (N walks away) Kind person: what r u doing there standing like a dumb person, don’t u even know how to change a tyre (and changes the Tyre for u n doesn’t even ask anything in return)
Sure they do.. because crash test dummies are entertaining. Just like how men like crazy women... they are more fun. Just because women are entertained by something doesn't mean we should try to be that. Women just want to have fun. Don't base your life on what enetertains women. It won't get you anywhere. Have you ever seen a soap opera?
@@velma3797 That's because women confuse narcissism or sociopathy with strength. Most women don't live in reality. Look at women in the US.. the US is the wealthiest country in the world and women here would rather go for a rich guy here and be miserable with them just to have money.
On topic of "nice". Anyone can be nice if they think it will get them what they want. Even serial killers can be charming and nice. KINDNESS is what cannot be faked!
Yes. There is a lot of room on the spectrum between "asshole" and "nice." When I hear guys complain about women going for jerks and feeling like it's unfair because they're nice, I think "Well, ok, but nice is baseline. I'm nice, too. What else do you bring to the table?" Nice doesn't automatically mean good partner potential, or that someone is obligated to "give you a chance" because you're nice. If that were the case, we could round up all the nice people in the world and anyone could pair up with anyone, because nice is all that matters. But there's personality, compatibility and the grand master of them all, chemistry, involved. And not just sexual chemistry, though certainly that, too. I'm sure there are plenty of women that these "nice" guys have encountered in their lives that they didn't want to date. A woman in their class, a woman at work, a friend of a friend...see how that works? "Nice" is just part of the puzzle. It doesn't mean "You must like me because I'm not an asshole, and if you don't, you're shallow."
@@Sheseasyouthere right, when they reveal their bitterness they also reveal how they were nice in order to get something not because it's something innate they embody... what we want is authentic kindness not people pleasing.
As I see it, being "nice" Is extremely counterproductive. You are being punished left and right if you just want to be a polite person and not run into too much trouble. You say it's baseline, but it's not. Women will choose jerks every single time. No "baseline" of niceness will be required to those guys. "Nice" men also go to work and hace friends and whatnot, just like any jerk. They are just softer and more polite in their demeanor. I also see a lot of comments how these "nice" guys are bitter... How in the world does anyone expect them not to be? They are bring rejected all the time, they don't receive any appreciation whatsoever for anything they do. Women are also known to be more attracted to people with the dark triad personality traits. It is what it is...
@@SamStone1964 people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I've met some awful women. And it's interesting because they all seem to think they deserve a good man. You could be one of those women for all I know.
Don’t be nice. Be kind. Nice is some post modern weakness. Connect back to strength each time you tap back into your cultural roots, language and so forth. ❤
Lots of room for confusion in this thread. Equating weak with asshole is a huge leap. Finding oneself in a weak or vulnerable moment in life, is human, and necessary for reflection, growth, and preparation, so that we might have our moments of strength and success.
Easily answered: because wanting ans attracting are entirely different pair of shoes. For example: you WANT a loser as your friend because you can be easily be in control when you are going with him out but you are only attracted to a character who you would like to be yourself, someone like Tyler Durden in the fightclub
In high school all my guy friends called my boyfriend an asshole. I always said, “Well not with me…”, as a response. In reality, he was shutting down disrespect, and touchy/feely guys posing as friends. He didn’t tolerate rude jokes, and insults. If you invaded our intimate space he’d push you back. He wasn’t being an asshole, he was looking to me and responding to my reactions to other people’s actions. That’s protection & care. He could have used his voice more, and used patience to delicately handle things in a civil manner, but his strong responses were never unwarranted. Also, English wasn’t his first language, so he relied more on what he was seeing, and stopped any language he interpreted as malicious. They just got upset when they fucked with the wrong one, I guess. American men can get away with more “jokes”, that are actually rude, and that wasn’t acceptable in his culture. He is kind, in the correct situation, to the appropriate people. We are married with kids now.
@@desyxd4400That kinda sounds like he was being an asshole to appear as a dominant individual to impress you. As is invading your intimate space, what do you mean by that? Because they probably wasn’t worried about y’all at all and he puts his hands on them.
Also easy for people to fall captive to delusional confidence assuming that it represents real strength, when in actual fact it represents arrogance and instability. Problem with our perception of "strength" is that people overcook it to avoid being seen as weak.... which isn't truly authentic or even realistic. That's why we have the world we do.... people overcompensate by selectively exaggerating their strengths when it suits them for social gain and for "getting ahead" - based entirely on a deluded interpretation of what's truly best for society and that the objective of everything is to win, conquer and impress.
yes this!! Well said. And women fall for it in relationships but it doesn't end well, so just because people are attracted to something doesn't mean it's healthy.
I'm a nice guy. Always have been. Now, what about women seeing being nice is weak!? That's their problem not mine. First relationship I ended myself I was 37 years old. It was my third significant one. Then got married, didn't work out because of jealousy or cultural barriers. She asked for divorce, then regretted it. And then 2 ex's that had ended with me came back in my life trying to re-connect saying they'd never been into fulfilling relationship ever like when we were together. Well, sorry, but past is the past, I'm going forward, good luck. I standed by my nature. Happily in a healthy relationship. Being kind is being strong, if it's seen otherwise, well, that ain't my perspective. In my opinion being an A""hole is quite easy, and violence is the greatest manifestation of weakness. I couldn't care less what women "want", there are really good ones out there in a multitude of broken or delusionized ones. 3 days in a rainy whitewater canoe-camping trip will tell you what you need to know. Stay strong, stay free, stay mindful, stay kind 💙🙏💙
Also, a lot of 'nice' guys aren't really nice, it's coded for 'I don't have a personality', a social accountant who counts all the 'nice' gestures to exchange them for sexual favors, or it's a mask that falls off soon enough.
My problem is that there are hardly any real men like that left. So that leaves a choice between nice guys and toxic guys. Guess who they pick? Now that's not even the problem, the problem is when those guys screw them over. When that happens they turn on allllll men including real men and blames usss for their crappy choices and whatever horrible experiences they had with him. All of a sudden we good guys who just wanna be left alone gotta face the consequences of women choosing toxic men when real men are not available 😐 It's gotten so bad that we're being punished for what the toxic men of the PAST did 😐 And they continue this trend even though it's obvious where it leads, sleep with the toxic ones then take it out on the others. This whole women Vs men thing? Good men suffer, not toxic men. Toxic men are the ones who benefit from Feminism
From what I've seen, the term nice guy is an excuse guys use to say, "oh I did something nice so you owe me something and now I get to say what it is you owe me regardless of how you feel whether you asked for my nice action or not". Like bruh... no one wants to be treat like a forced transaction.
From what I've seen, the term nice guy is used by women to describe a man who is nice to her, probably because he likes her, but she doesn't like him. A nice guy wouldn't usually call himself a nice guy.
@@andwoe1752 in my opinion the idea of a man that calls himself "nice" for sinister purposes is mostly a strawman created by women to justify their feelings of not being attracted to them. there isn't anything wrong with choosing to reject someone for not being assertive enough but to twist it around and make them look bad is honestly a shitty thing to do
Actually the media only show bad guys which sells. The reality however is that there are equally thr same amount of nice guys that are successful out there. The problem is women live their life based on social media rather than reality
Truly hilarious that some men are in the comments still interpreting this as "be an asshole". Being committed and forward moving isn't incompatible with kindness
I'm a nice guy until I have no other choice. Yet I know when to stand my ground. To have morals and kindness in nature is viewed as week. Yet opinions will vary to the perception. I don't mind being viewed as week because I'm not the one damaging my self trying to be something I'm not.
I have had the line you’re a nice bloke but, then a few years later the same woman says I wish I stayed with you as my new boyfriend is a woman hater, beats me and treats me bad. Leave him then…. Yeah but I love him 🤦🏻
I find that the "nice guy" isn't normally a very nice person. They use that label in order to skirt any accountability for their lives and actions and then point the finger at women for not being where they want to be. Self-reflection and self-development go a very long way and are both very attractive.
A nice guy has no boundaries. He’s going to accept whatever and never express his anger because he’s nice. That means he’s not being genuine. He’s always wearing a Ned Flanders mask. No thank you!
I've never fully understood the frontier between 'weak' and 'vulnerable'. how am I supposed to be confident, strong and nonapologetic, yet approchable, listening and kind ? it's a balancing nightmare. you can't expect me to be perfect, and I'm not supposed to be perfect to be loved. Or am I ?
You can be a kind person but still have your interests in mind and pursue them. I feel its more about having an opinion and not be bullied around. You can still be vulnerable and do your own thing. Strong and confident doesnt mean you ignore everyones feelings/boundaries. Its more about healthy boundaries that have consequences when they are crossed. At least thats how I try to live and understand it.
You can have you .. and have them too .. don't try to please them so much that you lose yourself to "fit" into a mold of what you should be like or act like... and don't ask them to "fit" into a mold you have in your head what they should act or be like. The more compatible you are with "authentic you" to the "authentic them" the better you will flourish. Nice men are the ones that cut themselves to fit a picture they were told that it's the right thing to do and be .. but in that process to fit in they lose all parts of who they are and end up resentful towards everyone not just women. Cause they were promised that they'll get it all if they were fitting the "mold" only to be slapped by the reality that they get nothing... absolutely nothing. A nice guy will start by bringing back what they lost from their authentic selves and to learn to like themselves and try to fit in the picture that "they see fit for their personality and what their authentic truth " nothing more attractive then someone who know them selves and are proud of it ... this works with everyone a man or a woman.
You need to get out of your feminine dominant energy gang. Work on the balance and encompassing the masculine divine and get out of the victim narrative.
I want a man that's proactive in the relationship. Alot of nice guys aren't really nice at all or even active. They are passive and blame you for every little thing when things dont go their way. Ive also noticed that these nice guys ruin your reputation with their friends by constantly complaining about you and airing your dirty laundry. That's why i stopped dating nice passive men.
People that move despite what others think often don't even pick up on what others think. It's okay to care and consider other people's needs. Not to your detriment though, unless it's a one time thing. But don't make choices solely based on pleasing women. Be a good person first.
But, why is being nice considered by many people as a weakness? Why is giving regards to the social norms & convention considered a weakness and behaving the opposite of it is rewarding?
Authentic guys not nice guys🙌🏼 that old saying is so flawed and it’s victim mentality for the “nice” guy who doesn’t want to examine himself and see he isn’t actually a very authentic person (typically).. bc authentic people aren’t (typically) upset when a relationship isn’t working bc they understand it isn’t authentically for them then and they move on without self pity/victim mode of “nice” guys finish last mentality.
@@MisterFuturtastic Women choose narcs unconsciously from their trauma wounding. When it gets so bad (bc it will) they finally divorce. Trauma minds want the nice guys and the narc guys - both are inauthentic versions. The human authentic self wants to partner with another human being authentic self... but getting back to our authentic selves after childhood trauma etc is a journey and often extremely challenging.. and so sometimes women unconsciously choose the nice guys/narc guys and this contrast experience/s will wake them up to their own inner journey back to their own authentic selves.. and then will partner with someone else on this same journey. those are my understandings of this topic:)
@@siobhanmulvey "authentic people aren’t upset when a relationship isn’t working bc they understand it isn’t authentically for them then" what does that even mean? makes no sense lol
It is the "Good Man" that is sought after by women. That is a Man that is "very dangerous and has a whole lot of self control." -Teal Swan (From another short of her' called "Addicted To Goodness" .)
Stop using the term "nice guy", to describe a guy who is a people pleaser or who is a pushover. If you keep using the term "nice guy" to describe a guy who is a people pleaser or who is a pushover, then of course guys are going to assume that woman are only attracted to jerks.
Right. I think the core issue at the crux of it all is identity. Part of a man's identity (moreso than a woman's I'd argue) is found in breaking out of those societal molds and/or defying them (however with the added caveat of the whole "know the rules before you break them" for good measure so that you don't break yourself) because inevitably a good honorable man who also has balls and is strong in his identity is driven by passion and by his causes or goals (whatever they may be) and so, at some point has to break at least a significant amount of societal norms which are rules but which are often either outdated or masquerading as moral when in fact they are there either out of laziness and convenience or to serve as ways to allow the elites to parasite off the rest and/or protect them. So I guess (not being one) - from a woman's perspective it prolly seems better to get it half right (with having an asshole who knows how to break the rules and stand up for himself but without the honorable intentions or goals and causes) than from their perspective all wrong (as in, pliable to any and every outside source and therefore, not even an effective protector from outside threats).
It's about strength that isn't condescending or frivolous. You'll see it when it's there and it will scare you. Like Diogenes. Or Voltaire. Or Nabokov.
Being an "asshole" goes completely against the bible. The second greatest commandment is "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" when you truly understand this you will not want to be around "assholes" but still love them. Even Teal Swan talks about highly sensitive people who in there very nature and for the most part are very NICE and LOVEING PEOPLE, yet are the ones who get used and crapped on.
My #1 dealbreaker is I don’t date mean, nasty men. Bc why do you think it’s okay to talk to me like you’re crazy? There’s a difference between stating your boundaries and being a straight up asshole. I’ll respect a man setting boundaries every time but he needs to respect mine too.
Thank you!!! I always hear that women pick jerks. I was like...I don't...as soon as I see he has no moral compass...I walk away. And I'm not saying I look like Miss Universe or anything but 90% of the time I had to really bugger these men off...they obsessively stalked me, wouldn't leave me alone, or follow my request, leave for a few months, then come back apologizing. I always would give them the benefit or the doubt. I don't anymore. I don't even talk to many people anymore. Then they're gonna say women like us are bitches. * sigh *
Honestly, just be a nice genuine decent person, im ugly as sin bloke and poor with not much chance of having a relationship but you know what? it doesnt matter, i will keep trying to be as nice and decent to everyone man woman child and animal as possible because its the right way to be. Dont be false nice, be genuine and never mind about being attractive, it doesnt matter that much honestly.
I was spending time with a strong independent woman who decided not to date me because she's allergic to many many foods. she didn't allow me to take care of her financially unless she was desperate with no other options. she offered to be there for me and help me though my problems but didn't want to talk about her own problems. I offered to build her bed frame for her. she refused. I offered to clean her kitchen floor because I have a steam cleaner, she refused. she didn't have a car. I offered to take her places for free. she insisted she walk. she was almost completely out of food in her apartment and she only allowed me to buy her food after I insisted for several minutes. we're still friends and now she's in college full time and working full time and more strong willed than ever before. holding a 4.0 though.
No they don't. What happens is you guys almost always have a story of an ex who was "abusive". The prospective bf understands that as a plea not to put you through the same hassle/pain. He really empathises, and becomes committed to making you happy, which before long, makes him look apparently spineless. Then you decrete that he's "too nice", and dump him. Never fails. Listening to what you guys say you want/need, is one of the biggest waste of time in modern life. Passport Bros or MGTOW , that's wassup !!
There are a lot of men confusing confidence with ruthlessness. Confidence is good, you can have confidence in yourself and still respect others and their boundaries and be kind, ruthlessness is only thinking of yourself and not respecting others boundaries. Opposite of kindness.
Having offensive capability is different than practicing it.. nice men are the later. Offensive capability could be any skill, like talking, drawin, carpenter, business, engineer. If you are really good in something, people around obey you. If you are bully (not nice) , there is always a bigger bully. Being strong yet nice is the only sustainable options.
The government wants men to be passive as any opposition to authority is eliminated, majority of women capitulate to state/government propeganda, So push contrary expectations on to males in relationships. Need safety, security, then complain about boredom.
I just want some clarification. I struggle with this. I've seen many good men, men who provide and take care of their woman.. finsh last. course this is not all scenarios and this is not all women either. But there is too much of this in the world. I see so many good men go thru this. and yet they are strong men. strong for being vulnerable, strong for committing, strong for maintaining their duties, strong for protecting their family and I've literally seen men get laughed in their face for me like this. am I missing something or is it just the current climate of the dating world in western countries today. I think a lot of woman dont know what it means to be a strong man these days. it is very strong for a man to be vulnerable with a woman....but most of the time when a man is vulnerable with them the start to see the man as weak or use it against them. if a man ever cries in front of a woman he's automatically week to her... whyyy. its hard for men to show that side of them... maybe it's just immaturity or other issues going on...but a lot of these so called nice men that finsh last need more credit for actully being strong men...
and ladies before i forget...there is always that one guy that will take care of you in the best way possible that he can provide... and would give his life for you but you never give him a chance because hes a "nice guy" for being respectful or considerate. but the problem is he treats you with care love and respect because he cares for u not because he's weak and incapable. just because he treats you like that doesn't mean he treats everybody like that the same way a person is not all bad or all good baased of their actions... it's a spectrum. I just want clarification and understanding... I really struggle with agreeing to what she said
Most guys who call themselves nice are the same AH but not as much game. A good decent man get the girl, and they don’t go calling themselves “nice”. If acting nice a couple times think you’re entitled to the girl, that’s where you’re wrong. Acting nice is the bare minimum. Some men love to delude themselves thinking that nice men finish last. Women can smell BS from miles away.
Close but no. I am not weak. I have multiple masters degrees in stem, personal trainer and martial artists, rich and retired in my 20s. When I was nice I was disrespected and got zero attention from women. The same guy, me, when I loudly proclaim women are all 304s and overtly disrespect them, get bitches. I honestly hate it. If I start treating a girl right or let my gaurd down for a second, shes gone. I know you want to believe that I am choosing wrong but some were virgins, church girls, Amish, good families. They are all the same. I'd love to be wrong but the evidence stacks when your buddies wives hit you up, grandma says she hates grandpa but needs him, ect. I know many men who are better than me in every way and they cannot find wives.
I don't think nice guy equals weak. He just knows there is a time an place when the beast has to be let out. He don't show it 24/7 like other guys. They are the weak ones imo
Just avoid women and save yourselves a life of trouble, as a man. In these times, this means no naggging, no divorce courts, no ultimatums, no shittests, no emotional abuse, no STDs, no alimony, no cheating on you, no lies, no anti men laws touching you. Instead, you keep your freedom, time, energy, mental space, mental sanity, hobbies, resources, internal peace, money and many other advantages. Stay safe, kings !
I get it. Women like men who aren't afraid to offend people or hurt their feelings, while doing what they know is right and good, even if it's not popular.
It’s enough with the Grease fantasy. She doesn’t want to start smoking cigarettes and wearing tube tops just so he turns around and shows some school spirit that won’t last past high school. A hardworking man who doesn’t feel the need to sleep with lots of women and keeps himself clean and concerns himself with making her feel good in ways that she cannot, to offset stress and enjoy life, he’s a keeper.
Lol I was going to show Grease recently to my girls, mainly for songs and costumes, but as I was watching I was reminded that "sh*t! I forgot that this is mad toxic!!!" So I quickly turned it off.
@@ksy4747 Olivia Newton-John even ended up dying of breast cancer, if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is… she wanted a man who tried to grab her breast without asking, got her to start smoking cigarettes, and made her want her to wear skimpy tube tops and tight pants with tons of makeup and hairspray… i know I’m not going to miss hearing about how the car is a real pussy wagon either. I firmly believe the attitudes can show up in the body as cancers. Kudos to you for protecting your children! Maybe let them see and hear when they can analyze, process, and make the right choices for themselves.
If hardworking is most of what is required plenty of men have that in the bag. Not sleeping with a lot of women is also something many (if not most men) have well under control. The men you want to like may sleep around. That doesn't represent all men.
They are hardwired to want to get with the boss, not the help. Nice reminds them of the help, whereas assholes remind them of the boss- hence more value.
That's why nice but weak men are boring. I can feel they have nothing to invest in relationship. I'm tired of being a man in a relationship, I want to be protected and taken cared of. ❤
I believe Nice guys are Guys who do no harm to anyone. So Women Aren't attracted to him because he can't be protective. On the Other Hand, Bad Boys are the one who can harm (if Needed) to anyone. So he can be Protective..
These nice guys do just fine in a male friend group, they have no problem being accepted in a male friend group where variety of persona traits are present yet when it comes to woman they have a hard time being able to accept these men. Why not? Men do it and deal with it but a woman cannot stand it this character trait. Seems like a woman’s issue that impacts man. If they weren’t so masochistic innately with a desire to get abused by a man.
Some Nice guys don’t finish last because they are nice. They finish last because some of them are stupid. Be generous with all you have in life but be smart with it to. That how nice gets respected instead of taken advantage of.
As women we are also so used to being told that males are the stronger sex. Gender norms and stereotypes are still extremely prevalent in our society. So if we do partner up with a man as much as we may be against those stereotypes we still unconsciously expect men them to be the strong ones because all that brainwashing has to come out useful somewhere.
Coming from my own experience in trying to work through my people pleasing issues from childhood, 'nice' isn't a personality trait. Nice is a behavioral pattern aimed at achieving a goal of some kind, whether it's safety, acceptance, or some other social result. When I think of a "nice guy" in this context, I feel as though they are resentful when they don't get the relationship results they want because they're treating "niceness" as an obligation that often contradictd their internal feelings / values. Almost as if they did all this work in the hopes of a paycheck, even though the other person was never aware of or signed their contract, so to speak. It's different from authenticity, kindness, empathy, and other internal values. Sometimes acting on our values can manifest as what we might view to be in direct opposition to social "niceness."
Popular Western Society tends to conflate, "Nice guy" with being a solid dude or a good dude, when in fact they are not the same. Stay strong brothers. Stay on your purpose.
nah... I go as far to say women don't even want strong male that is kind. They want an assertive man who obtains that alpha. They usually want the "bad guy". That guy usually is the guy who has the temper and comes with some trouble down the road... punching a hole in the wall... etc. There are nice guys who would stand up for you and be a man but women confuse that for Whimpey and nice.. Woman steer more toward the "bad guy" and he comes with dysfunction.
Coming from a person that’s not even 40 yet amd has been married twice.. maybe #3 is your number? Don’t mix up Nice Guys vs Good Guys! Nice guys are agreeable guys to just about everything out of a relationship.. They want something in return…They have no boundaries or really standards they just want to please the woman. On the other hand, Good Guys have boundaries have goals have leadership qualities for themselves and whomever wants to follows them. That’s a high value man unless the women wants to take that role… of the real man!
Most Women prefer a fantasy over a reality. They love to play the White Knight; or better the Nightingale, A Savior who picks broken men to mend in hopes of finding some sort of love by redemption. So yes, these women do in fact prefer bad boys over nice guys. It's not because bad boys know what they want and know how to get it, rather it's because these women think they can change him, and through that change, be able to do what no other woman has ever been able to do. In short they're in it to feed their own egos, rather than to form healthy stable relationships. Guys do the same thing, especially Nice guys. They find broken women (women who are vulnerable in some way) and play up the notion that they are the savior, in order to demonstrate that he is different from the other guys in hope she will chose him. Either form is a form of manipulation towards self fulfillment. It's about the always being able to feed the ego, and for these people that is always the prime subconscious motivation. being nice for these people, therefore, is just a useful tool.
Speaking from personal experience, she's absolutely right! Most "nice" guys make it their entire personality, skill set, and character. There's usually nothing about them that stands out. They also know the vast majority of women wouldn't notice or deal with them so they turn to being "nice" as a last resort almost. Yet, in reality most of them really aren't nice at all. Now I just say, there's no such thing as a "nice" guy..
@@ssbashalot7324, it's partly because they're so few and far in between. By the time a woman actually meets a genuine and kind man she either: 1. Doesn't know or can't believe/trust he's real. 2. Been so hurt now she's bitter and jaded. 3. Is the type of woman to hurt him. 4. She isn't interested or has too many (better) options. Also, men like that usually don't want a good and kind woman. They want the same type of women most men flock to and end up getting overlooked.
@@ayemiksenoj5254 There are many. The thing is they either don’t actually look out or just don’t like men of that type of nature. They want the assholes. The top three things you listed are the fault of the women for the guys that she picked. For number 4, what better could she get? I mean almost all women cry and complain that these type of guys don’t exist because of their poor ass decision making in men. When they end up in their 30s they end up looking to guys like that for potential rebounds. Your last point is kinda untrue. Men of all kind usually do want nice and kind women. Women who are feminine, fit, and friendly
When people say they. That means they pushing there limit or even become pushover for woman. They don't know how to make boundaries and enforce that. Woman take it as weak but many young woman literally go for a**hole because that person gives vibes of confident man who don't give f*ck and have multiple options. woman fear that man either physically, emotionally or psychological they think that man as dangerous = strong. So they attract toward that man more. So I try to clear explanation from both side.
I'm glad women are able to see the difference between nice and indecisive versus nice and taking a stand. Jerks are just the latter without the nice part. That I don't like.
The "bad guys" usually are more respectful and not weak or pushy sexually and women like that. Plus a lot of them groom themselves well. They color grey hair, they use moisturizer on their face, they smell good. They keep in better shape. They wear maybe a leather jacket, and a necklace or some type of jewelry. So these things attract women who try hard, and want the same in return and want to not be whined about sex or begged or talked to in a demeaning way. Bad guys do this. If nice guys did this, they'd have all the women. The bad guys brush their teeth, see dentists, wear cologne, and wash their bottoms. I've met too many "not very nice guys" who THINK they're nice, and they're not hygienic or even not look good..WHEN really nice guys do these things they get A LOT of good women..
"Nice guys" are the most controlling and pushiest. Just because they call themselves so it does not mean it is true. They also have low-self esteem and trying to tear you down to keep you.
Do you really think it’s enough for a man to just be in good hygiene? (Please be aware that in this world 90% of the women only mate the top 10% of men. Those top men aren’t usually loyal and walk around making children with dozens of women. That’s why we can have billions of people despite only a minority of men being genetically superior enough to be permitted to become a father) Please develop more self awareness or are you a dominant woman who allows feminine energy in a sexual partner ?
The Universe will reward you for being nice, you cannot change who you are if she's that shallow let her find an abusive man, she'll learn the hard way.
If you have to say that you'll being a nice. Then you are missing the main point... If you want to be recognized for being nice, just be a nice person.... People that go around saying oh I'm a nice guy. I'm a nice guy. Buy acting nice so they'll get recognized for it. which is kind of like saying I'm using you but you can't do anything about it it because I'm a nice guy ! Being nice with the motivation of getting something out of it is the definition of using someone... Being nice just because you're human is what we're supposed to do.
Being nice doesn't work. Feminists pushed a whole generation of men to be more feminine and vunderable. Men are more feminine than ever, and they're more alone and more sex less than ever before. Depression, Anti-depressant medication and suicides are higher than ever before. Making men feminine doesn't work because women will go for the masculine man instead because thats what women are inately attracted to for millions of yeasr due to survival reasons. 1/3 men are virgins 63% of men are not in a relationship while only 34% of women aren't in a relationship so women are sharing a minority of men. But then when women hit 30 90% of her eggs are gone, and at 35 it's high risk pregnancy and now she want the nice guy to take the leftovers.
She’s taking about men who go “I’m a nice guy” and then get into a bar fright with another guy cause he was looking at him the wrong way and he felt “disrespected”. Those type of men have major anger issues and can be extremely violent especially behind closed door. Jordon Peterson once said “you have to learn how to become a monster and be vicious but once you learn how to do that you then have to learn how to control that monster. It’s better to have a warrior in the garden than a gardener in a war.”
Kindness isn’t weakness. Men can be kind without being a pushover
“Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, I am kid to everyone, but if you are unkind to me it will not be weakness that you will remember me for.” -Al Capone
Nice n kind are not one n same…. Nice people are not always kind n kind people aren’t necessarily nice. Need an example?
On my way my car has a flat tyre..
Nice person: oh poor u, I’m so sorry u r in such a situation. (N walks away)
Kind person: what r u doing there standing like a dumb person, don’t u even know how to change a tyre (and changes the Tyre for u n doesn’t even ask anything in return)
@@pheonix4252 kinda my point.
Kind doesn't mean nice.
Yep. I once heard a guy on a tv show say "don't mistake my kindness for weakness." That sums it up right there.
By nice, what’s really meant is passive. Women don’t want passivity in men. They want assertion.
bingo
Unless he chad
Thank you!
Sure they do.. because crash test dummies are entertaining. Just like how men like crazy women... they are more fun. Just because women are entertained by something doesn't mean we should try to be that. Women just want to have fun. Don't base your life on what enetertains women. It won't get you anywhere. Have you ever seen a soap opera?
Average alpha males on the internet : strong ego & weak super ego.
There's a difference between a asshole and a strong, kind men
Difference that women can't differentiate.
Then why do women always choose narcissists and then realize they made the same mistake their whole lives?
No there isn’t!
Except that there aren't many men that are strong and kind.
@@velma3797 That's because women confuse narcissism or sociopathy with strength. Most women don't live in reality. Look at women in the US.. the US is the wealthiest country in the world and women here would rather go for a rich guy here and be miserable with them just to have money.
Kindness is strength. I love when men are nice to me.
Because being kind and nice actually shows compulser and emotional stability.
Thank you Jessica for your beautiful words
by writing that you got everything wrong.
@@angelsrosena dang, aggressive much?
There's a difference between a man being kind to you (which of course we should all want) vs a guy with a "nice guy" mentality
On topic of "nice". Anyone can be nice if they think it will get them what they want. Even serial killers can be charming and nice. KINDNESS is what cannot be faked!
Right. If he’s an a-hole to others, he’ll be an a-hole to you too.
So True
@@sunshine3914 true
Exactly!
@@sunshine3914 "If shell do it with you, shell do it to you" - Wisest of the Wise Wisdom Wizards 😂😂
Yes. There is a lot of room on the spectrum between "asshole" and "nice." When I hear guys complain about women going for jerks and feeling like it's unfair because they're nice, I think "Well, ok, but nice is baseline. I'm nice, too. What else do you bring to the table?"
Nice doesn't automatically mean good partner potential, or that someone is obligated to "give you a chance" because you're nice. If that were the case, we could round up all the nice people in the world and anyone could pair up with anyone, because nice is all that matters. But there's personality, compatibility and the grand master of them all, chemistry, involved. And not just sexual chemistry, though certainly that, too.
I'm sure there are plenty of women that these "nice" guys have encountered in their lives that they didn't want to date. A woman in their class, a woman at work, a friend of a friend...see how that works? "Nice" is just part of the puzzle. It doesn't mean "You must like me because I'm not an asshole, and if you don't, you're shallow."
I am genuinely impressed by what you said, and honestly needed that.
Women are programmed to want a man who is competent, reliable, brave.
@@Sheseasyouthere right, when they reveal their bitterness they also reveal how they were nice in order to get something not because it's something innate they embody... what we want is authentic kindness not people pleasing.
You guys really explained the creepiness of it! Thank you!
As I see it, being "nice" Is extremely counterproductive. You are being punished left and right if you just want to be a polite person and not run into too much trouble. You say it's baseline, but it's not. Women will choose jerks every single time. No "baseline" of niceness will be required to those guys. "Nice" men also go to work and hace friends and whatnot, just like any jerk. They are just softer and more polite in their demeanor. I also see a lot of comments how these "nice" guys are bitter... How in the world does anyone expect them not to be? They are bring rejected all the time, they don't receive any appreciation whatsoever for anything they do. Women are also known to be more attracted to people with the dark triad personality traits. It is what it is...
As a man you need discipline, inner strength, and a rock hard mentality.
Niceness is just the bare minimum for being a functional member of society.
Yes the man needs to protect his family from the zombie apocalypse.
But you're acting like there's no dysfunctional women, and there is plenty of that.
@@Dragonfly341 They were not acting like anything. They were making a comment about men. You are changing the topic.
@@SamStone1964 people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I've met some awful women. And it's interesting because they all seem to think they deserve a good man. You could be one of those women for all I know.
@@Dragonfly341 Spoken like a true incel.
Don’t be nice. Be kind. Nice is some post modern weakness. Connect back to strength each time you tap back into your cultural roots, language and so forth. ❤
Lots of room for confusion in this thread. Equating weak with asshole is a huge leap. Finding oneself in a weak or vulnerable moment in life, is human, and necessary for reflection, growth, and preparation, so that we might have our moments of strength and success.
fortitude. hoodspa. determination. dedication. loyalty. carpe diem. leave no man (or woman or child) behind.
Just so you know for the next time, hoodspa is spelled chutzpah.
I got you!
The question is
Why do women choose assholes if they don’t want them?
Easily answered: because wanting ans attracting are entirely different pair of shoes.
For example: you WANT a loser as your friend because you can be easily be in control when you are going with him out but you are only attracted to a character who you would like to be yourself, someone like Tyler Durden in the fightclub
In high school all my guy friends called my boyfriend an asshole. I always said, “Well not with me…”, as a response. In reality, he was shutting down disrespect, and touchy/feely guys posing as friends. He didn’t tolerate rude jokes, and insults. If you invaded our intimate space he’d push you back. He wasn’t being an asshole, he was looking to me and responding to my reactions to other people’s actions. That’s protection & care. He could have used his voice more, and used patience to delicately handle things in a civil manner, but his strong responses were never unwarranted. Also, English wasn’t his first language, so he relied more on what he was seeing, and stopped any language he interpreted as malicious. They just got upset when they fucked with the wrong one, I guess. American men can get away with more “jokes”, that are actually rude, and that wasn’t acceptable in his culture. He is kind, in the correct situation, to the appropriate people. We are married with kids now.
What culture was he from?
@@DanniBby Honduran
@@desyxd4400That kinda sounds like he was being an asshole to appear as a dominant individual to impress you. As is invading your intimate space, what do you mean by that? Because they probably wasn’t worried about y’all at all and he puts his hands on them.
Also easy for people to fall captive to delusional confidence assuming that it represents real strength, when in actual fact it represents arrogance and instability. Problem with our perception of "strength" is that people overcook it to avoid being seen as weak.... which isn't truly authentic or even realistic. That's why we have the world we do.... people overcompensate by selectively exaggerating their strengths when it suits them for social gain and for "getting ahead" - based entirely on a deluded interpretation of what's truly best for society and that the objective of everything is to win, conquer and impress.
Sounds like a lot of manipulation, which is covert and feminine
I mean that's fine. Do they really deserve someone who bears genuine confidence? They certainly all don't.
yes this!! Well said.
And women fall for it in relationships but it doesn't end well, so just because people are attracted to something doesn't mean it's healthy.
I'm a nice guy. Always have been. Now, what about women seeing being nice is weak!?
That's their problem not mine.
First relationship I ended myself I was 37 years old. It was my third significant one.
Then got married, didn't work out because of jealousy or cultural barriers. She asked for divorce, then regretted it. And then 2 ex's that had ended with me came back in my life trying to re-connect saying they'd never been into fulfilling relationship ever like when we were together. Well, sorry, but past is the past, I'm going forward, good luck. I standed by my nature.
Happily in a healthy relationship.
Being kind is being strong, if it's seen otherwise, well, that ain't my perspective.
In my opinion being an A""hole is quite easy, and violence is the greatest manifestation of weakness.
I couldn't care less what women "want", there are really good ones out there in a multitude of broken or delusionized ones.
3 days in a rainy whitewater canoe-camping trip will tell you what you need to know.
Stay strong, stay free, stay mindful, stay kind 💙🙏💙
There's a difference between good and nice. Decent women want GOOD men. They don't want "nice" men who give with ulterior motives.
Also, a lot of 'nice' guys aren't really nice, it's coded for 'I don't have a personality', a social accountant who counts all the 'nice' gestures to exchange them for sexual favors, or it's a mask that falls off soon enough.
My problem is that there are hardly any real men like that left. So that leaves a choice between nice guys and toxic guys. Guess who they pick? Now that's not even the problem, the problem is when those guys screw them over.
When that happens they turn on allllll men including real men and blames usss for their crappy choices and whatever horrible experiences they had with him. All of a sudden we good guys who just wanna be left alone gotta face the consequences of women choosing toxic men when real men are not available 😐 It's gotten so bad that we're being punished for what the toxic men of the PAST did 😐 And they continue this trend even though it's obvious where it leads, sleep with the toxic ones then take it out on the others.
This whole women Vs men thing? Good men suffer, not toxic men. Toxic men are the ones who benefit from Feminism
This is very accurate for both sides
From what I've seen, the term nice guy is an excuse guys use to say, "oh I did something nice so you owe me something and now I get to say what it is you owe me regardless of how you feel whether you asked for my nice action or not". Like bruh... no one wants to be treat like a forced transaction.
From what I've seen, the term nice guy is used by women to describe a man who is nice to her, probably because he likes her, but she doesn't like him. A nice guy wouldn't usually call himself a nice guy.
@@andwoe1752 ooo that's a good description too.
@@andwoe1752
in my opinion the idea of a man that calls himself "nice" for sinister purposes is mostly a strawman created by women to justify their feelings of not being attracted to them. there isn't anything wrong with choosing to reject someone for not being assertive enough but to twist it around and make them look bad is honestly a shitty thing to do
Actually the media only show bad guys which sells. The reality however is that there are equally thr same amount of nice guys that are successful out there. The problem is women live their life based on social media rather than reality
Be the lion, so you can be as nice as a dear
@Mary BeanThanks a lot ! I was thinking about a Dave Chapel's speech tbh
Yess Jordan Peterson has some speeches along this line 🔥🔥🔥
Truly hilarious that some men are in the comments still interpreting this as "be an asshole". Being committed and forward moving isn't incompatible with kindness
They need to work on their competency and courage.
Because that’s basically still want women want no matter how much you try to dance around it. Women don’t want kind men
I'm a nice guy until I have no other choice. Yet I know when to stand my ground. To have morals and kindness in nature is viewed as week. Yet opinions will vary to the perception. I don't mind being viewed as week because I'm not the one damaging my self trying to be something I'm not.
I have had the line you’re a nice bloke but, then a few years later the same woman says I wish I stayed with you as my new boyfriend is a woman hater, beats me and treats me bad. Leave him then…. Yeah but I love him 🤦🏻
"zero ownership whatsoever"
I'll never do anything on my own
was a promise to be good
turned to an identity of dependency
I find that the "nice guy" isn't normally a very nice person. They use that label in order to skirt any accountability for their lives and actions and then point the finger at women for not being where they want to be. Self-reflection and self-development go a very long way and are both very attractive.
I agree with you. They are usually the least self-aware, least authentic.
A nice guy has no boundaries. He’s going to accept whatever and never express his anger because he’s nice. That means he’s not being genuine. He’s always wearing a Ned Flanders mask. No thank you!
I've never fully understood the frontier between 'weak' and 'vulnerable'.
how am I supposed to be confident, strong and nonapologetic, yet approchable, listening and kind ? it's a balancing nightmare.
you can't expect me to be perfect, and I'm not supposed to be perfect to be loved. Or am I ?
You can be a kind person but still have your interests in mind and pursue them. I feel its more about having an opinion and not be bullied around. You can still be vulnerable and do your own thing. Strong and confident doesnt mean you ignore everyones feelings/boundaries. Its more about healthy boundaries that have consequences when they are crossed. At least thats how I try to live and understand it.
Women like men who are vulnerable around THEM, in private, yes, but not men who act like they'll crumble under pressure
@Mary Bean its still a balancing nightmare
You can have you .. and have them too .. don't try to please them so much that you lose yourself to "fit" into a mold of what you should be like or act like... and don't ask them to "fit" into a mold you have in your head what they should act or be like.
The more compatible you are with "authentic you" to the "authentic them" the better you will flourish.
Nice men are the ones that cut themselves to fit a picture they were told that it's the right thing to do and be .. but in that process to fit in they lose all parts of who they are and end up resentful towards everyone not just women.
Cause they were promised that they'll get it all if they were fitting the "mold" only to be slapped by the reality that they get nothing... absolutely nothing.
A nice guy will start by bringing back what they lost from their authentic selves and to learn to like themselves and try to fit in the picture that "they see fit for their personality and what their authentic truth " nothing more attractive then someone who know them selves and are proud of it ... this works with everyone a man or a woman.
You need to get out of your feminine dominant energy gang. Work on the balance and encompassing the masculine divine and get out of the victim narrative.
I want a man that's proactive in the relationship. Alot of nice guys aren't really nice at all or even active. They are passive and blame you for every little thing when things dont go their way. Ive also noticed that these nice guys ruin your reputation with their friends by constantly complaining about you and airing your dirty laundry. That's why i stopped dating nice passive men.
People that move despite what others think often don't even pick up on what others think.
It's okay to care and consider other people's needs. Not to your detriment though, unless it's a one time thing.
But don't make choices solely based on pleasing women. Be a good person first.
She has idea what she is saying . Most nice men take accountability .So nice strong men are weak . Weak assholes are strong . She is fed up.
But, why is being nice considered by many people as a weakness? Why is giving regards to the social norms & convention considered a weakness and behaving the opposite of it is rewarding?
Authentic guys not nice guys🙌🏼 that old saying is so flawed and it’s victim mentality for the “nice” guy who doesn’t want to examine himself and see he isn’t actually a very authentic person (typically).. bc authentic people aren’t (typically) upset when a relationship isn’t working bc they understand it isn’t authentically for them then and they move on without self pity/victim mode of “nice” guys finish last mentality.
Bingo Siobhán! Being "nice" can be an inauthentic learned behaviour.
Then why do women choose narcs over and over and end up getting divorced. They don't marry the nice guys.. yet they still aren't happy.
@@MisterFuturtastic Women choose narcs unconsciously from their trauma wounding. When it gets so bad (bc it will) they finally divorce. Trauma minds want the nice guys and the narc guys - both are inauthentic versions. The human authentic self wants to partner with another human being authentic self... but getting back to our authentic selves after childhood trauma etc is a journey and often extremely challenging.. and so sometimes women unconsciously choose the nice guys/narc guys and this contrast experience/s will wake them up to their own inner journey back to their own authentic selves.. and then will partner with someone else on this same journey. those are my understandings of this topic:)
@@siobhanmulvey "authentic people aren’t upset when a relationship isn’t working bc they understand it isn’t authentically for them then"
what does that even mean? makes no sense lol
@andwoe it starts to make sense when you begin to learn what authenticity is. Start there if you want to understand what the OP said.
It is the "Good Man" that is sought after by women. That is a Man that is "very dangerous and has a whole lot of self control." -Teal Swan (From another short of her' called "Addicted To Goodness" .)
I truly hate that quote.
@@amado5490 Why?
Yes. I always want a guy who says this to say what they mean by ‘nice’. Because they probably do mean passive, rather than kind.
The bad guy doesn't want only one woman.
Stop using the term "nice guy", to describe a guy who is a people pleaser or who is a pushover. If you keep using the term "nice guy" to describe a guy who is a people pleaser or who is a pushover, then of course guys are going to assume that woman are only attracted to jerks.
Right. I think the core issue at the crux of it all is identity. Part of a man's identity (moreso than a woman's I'd argue) is found in breaking out of those societal molds and/or defying them (however with the added caveat of the whole "know the rules before you break them" for good measure so that you don't break yourself) because inevitably a good honorable man who also has balls and is strong in his identity is driven by passion and by his causes or goals (whatever they may be) and so, at some point has to break at least a significant amount of societal norms which are rules but which are often either outdated or masquerading as moral when in fact they are there either out of laziness and convenience or to serve as ways to allow the elites to parasite off the rest and/or protect them. So I guess (not being one) - from a woman's perspective it prolly seems better to get it half right (with having an asshole who knows how to break the rules and stand up for himself but without the honorable intentions or goals and causes) than from their perspective all wrong (as in, pliable to any and every outside source and therefore, not even an effective protector from outside threats).
Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, Im afraid of what i could be capable of doing if I let my emotions rule how i react.
lol, "ok rambo" 😂
@@internetfasting80085 lmao 🤣
Just because I'm nice doesn't mean I'm weak
It's about strength that isn't condescending or frivolous. You'll see it when it's there and it will scare you. Like Diogenes. Or Voltaire. Or Nabokov.
Being an "asshole" goes completely against the bible. The second greatest commandment is "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" when you truly understand this you will not want to be around "assholes" but still love them. Even Teal Swan talks about highly sensitive people who in there very nature and for the most part are very NICE and LOVEING PEOPLE, yet are the ones who get used and crapped on.
My #1 dealbreaker is I don’t date mean, nasty men. Bc why do you think it’s okay to talk to me like you’re crazy? There’s a difference between stating your boundaries and being a straight up asshole. I’ll respect a man setting boundaries every time but he needs to respect mine too.
Thank you!!! I always hear that women pick jerks. I was like...I don't...as soon as I see he has no moral compass...I walk away. And I'm not saying I look like Miss Universe or anything but 90% of the time I had to really bugger these men off...they obsessively stalked me, wouldn't leave me alone, or follow my request, leave for a few months, then come back apologizing. I always would give them the benefit or the doubt. I don't anymore. I don't even talk to many people anymore. Then they're gonna say women like us are bitches. * sigh *
I feel you. I have my values and morals straight (not what society tells me) and if he isn't the same, he is not an adult in my eyes.
@@Nyuffykah 💯👌🏽
More and more nice guys are realizing that modern women are not worth the effort.
Honestly, just be a nice genuine decent person, im ugly as sin bloke and poor with not much chance of having a relationship but you know what? it doesnt matter, i will keep trying to be as nice and decent to everyone man woman child and animal as possible because its the right way to be. Dont be false nice, be genuine and never mind about being attractive, it doesnt matter that much honestly.
This is so true. Unfortunately women who are strong, or who had to be strong only attract weak men
💯 been there
Can comfirm.
I was spending time with a strong independent woman who decided not to date me because she's allergic to many many foods.
she didn't allow me to take care of her financially unless she was desperate with no other options. she offered to be there for me and help me though my problems but didn't want to talk about her own problems. I offered to build her bed frame for her. she refused. I offered to clean her kitchen floor because I have a steam cleaner, she refused. she didn't have a car. I offered to take her places for free. she insisted she walk. she was almost completely out of food in her apartment and she only allowed me to buy her food after I insisted for several minutes. we're still friends and now she's in college full time and working full time and more strong willed than ever before. holding a 4.0 though.
And let’s face reality, the majority of men are weak AF.
No they don't. What happens is you guys almost always have a story of an ex who was "abusive". The prospective bf understands that as a plea not to put you through the same hassle/pain. He really empathises, and becomes committed to making you happy, which before long, makes him look apparently spineless. Then you decrete that he's "too nice", and dump him. Never fails.
Listening to what you guys say you want/need, is one of the biggest waste of time in modern life. Passport Bros or MGTOW , that's wassup !!
There are a lot of men confusing confidence with ruthlessness. Confidence is good, you can have confidence in yourself and still respect others and their boundaries and be kind, ruthlessness is only thinking of yourself and not respecting others boundaries. Opposite of kindness.
Having offensive capability is different than practicing it.. nice men are the later.
Offensive capability could be any skill, like talking, drawin, carpenter, business, engineer. If you are really good in something, people around obey you.
If you are bully (not nice) , there is always a bigger bully. Being strong yet nice is the only sustainable options.
The government wants men to be passive as any opposition to authority is eliminated, majority of women capitulate to state/government propeganda, So push contrary expectations on to males in relationships. Need safety, security, then complain about boredom.
I'ld rather have someone who is authentic and emotionally aware and honest then someone who is a people pleaser/always smiling, nice guy.
Y’all confuse good manners and basic decency as people pleasing. You women truly are a lost cause
I just want some clarification. I struggle with this. I've seen many good men, men who provide and take care of their woman.. finsh last. course this is not all scenarios and this is not all women either. But there is too much of this in the world. I see so many good men go thru this. and yet they are strong men. strong for being vulnerable, strong for committing, strong for maintaining their duties, strong for protecting their family and I've literally seen men get laughed in their face for me like this. am I missing something or is it just the current climate of the dating world in western countries today. I think a lot of woman dont know what it means to be a strong man these days. it is very strong for a man to be vulnerable with a woman....but most of the time when a man is vulnerable with them the start to see the man as weak or use it against them. if a man ever cries in front of a woman he's automatically week to her... whyyy. its hard for men to show that side of them... maybe it's just immaturity or other issues going on...but a lot of these so called nice men that finsh last need more credit for actully being strong men...
and ladies before i forget...there is always that one guy that will take care of you in the best way possible that he can provide... and would give his life for you but you never give him a chance because hes a "nice guy" for being respectful or considerate. but the problem is he treats you with care love and respect because he cares for u not because he's weak and incapable. just because he treats you like that doesn't mean he treats everybody like that the same way a person is not all bad or all good baased of their actions... it's a spectrum. I just want clarification and understanding... I really struggle with agreeing to what she said
Most guys who call themselves nice are the same AH but not as much game. A good decent man get the girl, and they don’t go calling themselves “nice”. If acting nice a couple times think you’re entitled to the girl, that’s where you’re wrong. Acting nice is the bare minimum. Some men love to delude themselves thinking that nice men finish last. Women can smell BS from miles away.
Close but no. I am not weak. I have multiple masters degrees in stem, personal trainer and martial artists, rich and retired in my 20s. When I was nice I was disrespected and got zero attention from women. The same guy, me, when I loudly proclaim women are all 304s and overtly disrespect them, get bitches. I honestly hate it. If I start treating a girl right or let my gaurd down for a second, shes gone. I know you want to believe that I am choosing wrong but some were virgins, church girls, Amish, good families. They are all the same. I'd love to be wrong but the evidence stacks when your buddies wives hit you up, grandma says she hates grandpa but needs him, ect. I know many men who are better than me in every way and they cannot find wives.
Don't be a 'nice guy' be a good man.
women don't want a good man. They want to cherry pick. They want a bad guy but want to play victim when his baggage comes out or abusiveness
Women don’t want that tho
Men that are healthy and strong are kind, but not push-overs. And they are able to be present with and emotionally available to women.
Zero ownership is the basis for the existence of women on this earth...
I don't think nice guy equals weak. He just knows there is a time an place when the beast has to be let out. He don't show it 24/7 like other guys. They are the weak ones imo
Just avoid women and save yourselves a life of trouble, as a man. In these times, this means no naggging, no divorce courts, no ultimatums, no shittests, no emotional abuse, no STDs, no alimony, no cheating on you, no lies, no anti men laws touching you. Instead, you keep your freedom, time, energy, mental space, mental sanity, hobbies, resources, internal peace, money and many other advantages. Stay safe, kings !
I get it. Women like men who aren't afraid to offend people or hurt their feelings, while doing what they know is right and good, even if it's not popular.
It’s enough with the Grease fantasy. She doesn’t want to start smoking cigarettes and wearing tube tops just so he turns around and shows some school spirit that won’t last past high school. A hardworking man who doesn’t feel the need to sleep with lots of women and keeps himself clean and concerns himself with making her feel good in ways that she cannot, to offset stress and enjoy life, he’s a keeper.
Lol I was going to show Grease recently to my girls, mainly for songs and costumes, but as I was watching I was reminded that "sh*t! I forgot that this is mad toxic!!!" So I quickly turned it off.
@@ksy4747 Olivia Newton-John even ended up dying of breast cancer, if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is… she wanted a man who tried to grab her breast without asking, got her to start smoking cigarettes, and made her want her to wear skimpy tube tops and tight pants with tons of makeup and hairspray… i know I’m not going to miss hearing about how the car is a real pussy wagon either. I firmly believe the attitudes can show up in the body as cancers. Kudos to you for protecting your children! Maybe let them see and hear when they can analyze, process, and make the right choices for themselves.
If hardworking is most of what is required plenty of men have that in the bag. Not sleeping with a lot of women is also something many (if not most men) have well under control. The men you want to like may sleep around. That doesn't represent all men.
@@Dragonfly341 WOW PREACH ASSHOLE … not all men, how profound
@@Dragonfly341 hardworking isn’t being able to eat steak every night and forcing me to do it too
They are hardwired to want to get with the boss, not the help. Nice reminds them of the help, whereas assholes remind them of the boss- hence more value.
Agreed, women don’t want a nice guy. But they DO want a kind man.
i want nice and kind x
@@TanyaJackson-no2rs you’d be one of the first women on the planet who allows herself to become sexual with an agreeable man…😮
That's why nice but weak men are boring. I can feel they have nothing to invest in relationship. I'm tired of being a man in a relationship, I want to be protected and taken cared of. ❤
You sound delusional
I believe Nice guys are Guys who do no harm to anyone. So Women Aren't attracted to him because he can't be protective.
On the Other Hand, Bad Boys are the one who can harm (if Needed) to anyone. So he can be Protective..
YES! A confident, nonapologetic mam makes us feel safe.
These nice guys do just fine in a male friend group, they have no problem being accepted in a male friend group where variety of persona traits are present yet when it comes to woman they have a hard time being able to accept these men. Why not? Men do it and deal with it but a woman cannot stand it this character trait. Seems like a woman’s issue that impacts man. If they weren’t so masochistic innately with a desire to get abused by a man.
Some Nice guys don’t finish last because they are nice. They finish last because some of them are stupid. Be generous with all you have in life but be smart with it to. That how nice gets respected instead of taken advantage of.
As women we are also so used to being told that males are the stronger sex. Gender norms and stereotypes are still extremely prevalent in our society. So if we do partner up with a man as much as we may be against those stereotypes we still unconsciously expect men them to be the strong ones because all that brainwashing has to come out useful somewhere.
Coming from my own experience in trying to work through my people pleasing issues from childhood, 'nice' isn't a personality trait. Nice is a behavioral pattern aimed at achieving a goal of some kind, whether it's safety, acceptance, or some other social result. When I think of a "nice guy" in this context, I feel as though they are resentful when they don't get the relationship results they want because they're treating "niceness" as an obligation that often contradictd their internal feelings / values. Almost as if they did all this work in the hopes of a paycheck, even though the other person was never aware of or signed their contract, so to speak. It's different from authenticity, kindness, empathy, and other internal values. Sometimes acting on our values can manifest as what we might view to be in direct opposition to social "niceness."
maybe women are just bad at judging a man's character, qualities, and motives
Popular Western Society tends to conflate, "Nice guy" with being a solid dude or a good dude, when in fact they are not the same.
Stay strong brothers. Stay on your purpose.
No they want assholes. They need the excitement and drama. Strength in character has nothing to do with it. Soon as they get bored they disconnect.
nah... I go as far to say women don't even want strong male that is kind. They want an assertive man who obtains that alpha. They usually want the "bad guy". That guy usually is the guy who has the temper and comes with some trouble down the road... punching a hole in the wall... etc. There are nice guys who would stand up for you and be a man but women confuse that for Whimpey and nice.. Woman steer more toward the "bad guy" and he comes with dysfunction.
Sorry but it had been my experience that women have a hard time differentiating between assertive confidence and pushy indifference.
Coming from a person that’s not even 40 yet amd has been married twice.. maybe #3 is your number? Don’t mix up Nice Guys vs Good Guys! Nice guys are agreeable guys to just about everything out of a relationship.. They want something in return…They have no boundaries or really standards they just want to please the woman. On the other hand, Good Guys have boundaries have goals have leadership qualities for themselves and whomever wants to follows them. That’s a high value man unless the women wants to take that role… of the real man!
Most Women prefer a fantasy over a reality. They love to play the White Knight; or better the Nightingale, A Savior who picks broken men to mend in hopes of finding some sort of love by redemption. So yes, these women do in fact prefer bad boys over nice guys. It's not because bad boys know what they want and know how to get it, rather it's because these women think they can change him, and through that change, be able to do what no other woman has ever been able to do. In short they're in it to feed their own egos, rather than to form healthy stable relationships.
Guys do the same thing, especially Nice guys. They find broken women (women who are vulnerable in some way) and play up the notion that they are the savior, in order to demonstrate that he is different from the other guys in hope she will chose him. Either form is a form of manipulation towards self fulfillment. It's about the always being able to feed the ego, and for these people that is always the prime subconscious motivation. being nice for these people, therefore, is just a useful tool.
Wow... This gives Me Hope. Her Words, are Very Moving...It's so True. Women want Strong Unapologetic Men. Agreed.😮
Speaking from personal experience, she's absolutely right!
Most "nice" guys make it their entire personality, skill set, and character.
There's usually nothing about them that stands out. They also know the vast majority of women wouldn't notice or deal with them so they turn to being "nice" as a last resort almost.
Yet, in reality most of them really aren't nice at all. Now I just say, there's no such thing as a "nice" guy..
It don’t matter when actual good kind men get overlooked more often than not
@@ssbashalot7324, it's partly because they're so few and far in between.
By the time a woman actually meets a genuine and kind man she either:
1. Doesn't know or can't believe/trust he's real.
2. Been so hurt now she's bitter and jaded.
3. Is the type of woman to hurt him.
4. She isn't interested or has too many (better) options.
Also, men like that usually don't want a good and kind woman.
They want the same type of women most men flock to and end up getting overlooked.
@@ayemiksenoj5254 There are many. The thing is they either don’t actually look out or just don’t like men of that type of nature. They want the assholes.
The top three things you listed are the fault of the women for the guys that she picked.
For number 4, what better could she get? I mean almost all women cry and complain that these type of guys don’t exist because of their poor ass decision making in men. When they end up in their 30s they end up looking to guys like that for potential rebounds.
Your last point is kinda untrue. Men of all kind usually do want nice and kind women. Women who are feminine, fit, and friendly
@@ssbashalot7324, ok...
You're one of those...
I'm not going to do this with you.
Let's just agree to disagree.
Have a day!
@@ayemiksenoj5254 One of what? Lol
TRUE!! Honest and straight forward, thank you for being real.
I always finish last...no complaints yet.
Oh wait wrong topic😳 !
oh, i got complaints about that, too. 🤷
When people say they. That means they pushing there limit or even become pushover for woman. They don't know how to make boundaries and enforce that. Woman take it as weak but many young woman literally go for a**hole because that person gives vibes of confident man who don't give f*ck and have multiple options. woman fear that man either physically, emotionally or psychological they think that man as dangerous = strong. So they attract toward that man more. So I try to clear explanation from both side.
I'm glad women are able to see the difference between nice and indecisive versus nice and taking a stand. Jerks are just the latter without the nice part. That I don't like.
You really can be nice AND be strong. I grew up with those men... buuuut, THOSE men grew up with FATHERS in the home. 🤔
With nice and strong fathers*
Women want a guy that is fun to be around. Nice guys tend to be boring; go to work then do nothing to keep her interests up...no thrill factor.
So so good to hear! Now I get it 😊 I’m in this questioning right now and finally understand ❤️Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Teal.
The "bad guys" usually are more respectful and not weak or pushy sexually and women like that. Plus a lot of them groom themselves well. They color grey hair, they use moisturizer on their face, they smell good. They keep in better shape. They wear maybe a leather jacket, and a necklace or some type of jewelry. So these things attract women who try hard, and want the same in return and want to not be whined about sex or begged or talked to in a demeaning way. Bad guys do this. If nice guys did this, they'd have all the women. The bad guys brush their teeth, see dentists, wear cologne, and wash their bottoms. I've met too many "not very nice guys" who THINK they're nice, and they're not hygienic or even not look good..WHEN really nice guys do these things they get A LOT of good women..
"Nice guys" are the most controlling and pushiest. Just because they call themselves so it does not mean it is true. They also have low-self esteem and trying to tear you down to keep you.
@@Nyuffykah you're right I've noticed this. Then they think they're all nice meanwhile calls their ex a fu**ing wh*** and things...
you women have a strange definition of "bad guy" and "nice guy" 🤦♂️
Do you really think it’s enough for a man to just be in good hygiene? (Please be aware that in this world 90% of the women only mate the top 10% of men. Those top men aren’t usually loyal and walk around making children with dozens of women. That’s why we can have billions of people despite only a minority of men being genetically superior enough to be permitted to become a father)
Please develop more self awareness or are you a dominant woman who allows feminine energy in a sexual partner ?
I tried but really women want want want but never give that the problem
The Universe will reward you for being nice, you cannot change who you are if she's that shallow let her find an abusive man, she'll learn the hard way.
So you're saying nice or abusive are the only two options for women to choose from?
@@SamStone1964 that's usually the story
@@SamStone1964If not those then what are the other options
@@ssbashalot7324 Competent, calm, level headed, cooperative, even tempered, reliable, supportive, sensible (off the top of my head).
@@SamStone1964 Those are nice guy traits. I don’t know why people think being “nice” is bad and separate it from being a good kind guy.
One of the best single pieces of advice of how to date women in our modern times in a nutshell 🙏🏻
Wow, this is so right.
Forward moving despite how others feel = disagreeablness. It’s why men are higher in disagreeable on the big 5 on average more.
If you have to say that you'll being a nice. Then you are missing the main point... If you want to be recognized for being nice, just be a nice person.... People that go around saying oh I'm a nice guy. I'm a nice guy. Buy acting nice so they'll get recognized for it. which is kind of like saying I'm using you but you can't do anything about it it because I'm a nice guy ! Being nice with the motivation of getting something out of it is the definition of using someone... Being nice just because you're human is what we're supposed to do.
My husband is a nice guy and an alpha at the same time. It's possible.
People who are claiming to be nice usually are the least self-aware somehow.
That is such a powerful nuance. These men thay are transactional "nice guys" are weak in themselves.
It’s not nice or mean. It’s confidence or insecurity. Women want CONFIDENT men. The nice men who are confident rarely have these problems.
Being nice doesn't work.
Feminists pushed a whole generation of men to be more feminine and vunderable.
Men are more feminine than ever, and they're more alone and more sex less than ever before. Depression, Anti-depressant medication and suicides are higher than ever before.
Making men feminine doesn't work because women will go for the masculine man instead because thats what women are inately attracted to for millions of yeasr due to survival reasons.
1/3 men are virgins 63% of men are not in a relationship while only 34% of women aren't in a relationship so women are sharing a minority of men.
But then when women hit 30 90% of her eggs are gone, and at 35 it's high risk pregnancy and now she want the nice guy to take the leftovers.
She’s taking about men who go “I’m a nice guy” and then get into a bar fright with another guy cause he was looking at him the wrong way and he felt “disrespected”. Those type of men have major anger issues and can be extremely violent especially behind closed door. Jordon Peterson once said “you have to learn how to become a monster and be vicious but once you learn how to do that you then have to learn how to control that monster. It’s better to have a warrior in the garden than a gardener in a war.”
Nailed it! 💯
What is meant here by nice men having zero "ownership" ?!?
Not taking responsibility for anything
Right, except that I see women choosing weak men every day.