The "I get what?" sequence really hit home for me. It's been hard for me to put into words how toxic masculinity doesn't just lash out at the prescribed Others 'n Lessers (🤢), but also robs the happiness of the people that buy into it. But this does it.
Seriously lol... If I started acting like a giant asshole towards everyone elses sex lives like these weirdoz... I'd find myself VERY alone in life. Folks typically can only stomach a creep like that for so long... So I guess that's what you get out it. Loneliness......... Lol that sucks. Nvm that shit. I prefer being that thing called being happy : )
While i agree with you that it was good, I think that he misses out on part of it, that what you get from it is being able to feel superior to the others 'n lessers. That's why heirarchies are valuable to the middle tiers. They might get shit upon but they also get to do some shitting upon.
@@Oceloctopus it's almost like the entire modus operandi of people with psychopathic attitudes and world views is sadism, and they don't actually care was is best and right for society or humanity at large, but their own short-term, emotionally-stunted satisfaction.
@@DanTalksGames Well said. It's frustrating to deal with destructive people... Sacrificing their futures to own teh libz lol. You work with what you got though so some times you run into a cuckerdoodledoo. Just a person who's obsessed with that word... I think these guys who say the word "cuck" all of the time need to just stop... Cuck rhymes with fuck... My rice cooker has the same name lolz. Chickens in zelda.... The word ia kinda funny... and fuck i keep saying it now. Lame! Anyways... They are saying simp instead of cuck now? Can we go back to soy boy? I'm having trouble keeping up ever since the goya thing... But simp just sounds meh compared to cuck. This change of the term feels uneeded and whatever... like a bad remake... Cuck to simp is like duke nukem 3d to duke nukem forever... lame... not a fan sorry. Remember what george carlin said kiddoz. Stop changing the words or some shit lol... And i just saw trimp trying to get the woman vote soooo... pretty fuckin funny honestly lololol. Let's get real guys... We do nice things for people that we like... It's called being human lolz. Try it some time incelz : )
I've said for a long time: people who say things like, "Men and women aren't capable of being friends" are saying way more about themselves than society.
@@susiek4593 "have a life " says the guy who meticulously searched through all comment sections under all his video just to find out my other comments (Also, it's gonna blow your mind, but i could've commented once a few years under this channel 🤯🤯🤯)
PSA: a person close to me pointed out I used "female" and "woman" interchangeably and drew a category distinction between "men and women" and "trans people," which was a dipshit thing to do and I wish I'd caught it earlier. I was thinking of how Steve Harvey would categorize things and not taking the time to challenge those categories. Apologies.
I'm gonna sound ignorant, so just chalk it up to English not being my first language; because I don't want to offend anyone and I honestly don't know: what's the difference?
@@spinakker14 "Female" is an adjective, while "woman" is a noun. It's common among misogynists to swap in the word female instead of woman because it makes them sound more "scientific" or something. While trying to be as tactful as possible I think the easiest comparison would be calling someone "a black". The distinction between "trans people" and "men and women" doesn't really exist because plenty trans people are men or women. Some are both, or neither. We're a fun and occasionally confusing sort. Anyways, drawing a line between the two doesn't really make sense, but transphobic people still do it. I don't think that either of these usages were meant for harm here, and this comment solidifies that idea for me. But it's something to keep in mind while traveling the internet, when you see someone saying "female" instead of "woman" you may want to watch out for misogyny.
@@onyxtay7246 Oh, I was also confused because of the structuring of the sentence I thought he was talking about one thing (how "female" and "woman" can be used to somehow exclude trans women). I get how we shouldn't exclude trans people from "men" and "women", but the female vs woman usage distinction is new to me. Thanks for explaining these, I'll try to watch out for these (btw, my native tongue doesn't use gendered pronouns, so at least people can't intentionally or unintentionally use a pronoun for someone whose preferred pronoun is different. On the downside, trans people and trans rights are basically invisible here)
Steve Harvey also thinks that Asian male masculinity is a joke, so I’d say his hang-ups also go into weird racist areas in addition to the blatant misogyny.
He's an ugly guy who chooses to cling to bigotry. If not for his money, many people wouldn't have considered him much of a "man," either. I guess lots of people think he's funny too. But he's also an asshole. So, I don't know how well he would've fared with women if he didn't have a lot of money. EDIT: To be clear, I'm not just criticizing him because he's physically unattractive. In most cases, I don't care if another man is physically unattractive. But when they try to deal with it by cutting down other people, then I don't see how it's wrong to point out that their weak sense of self is related to their physical unattractiveness and that they're responding to their weak sense of self by disparaging other people.
@@Izandaia - I didn't just insult his appearance. His unattractive physical appearance plays a role in his sense of self and his behavior. Lots of people aren't particularly physically attractive, but many are also nice people. Harvey is insecure and reacts by being a bigoted jerk - making bigoted comments about Asian men, white people, light-skinned black men, etc. People, who have a secure sense of self and aren't jerks, don't make such comments about groups of people.
He also has a lot of hang ups about atheists and their morality, in addition to his misogynistic, bigoted and small-minded idea. Like, Steve Harvey is kind of a bad person. Not in a lot of unique or especially interesting ways, and he's done nothing illegal (to my knowledge) or especially cruel... He's just kind of unpleasant to be around or listen to.
What's the point of polyamory if you can't even form a basketball team with your polycule, join amateur league, get eliminated in the first round and spend the rest of the season playing Magic the gathering in the back of the platform?
"All I gotta do is cut out every emotionally supportive relationship in my life, go off my meds, lose all my safety nets, and turn my entire life ass-over-teakettle..." I'm sure it's *entirely coincidental* that describes exactly kind of desperately unhappy isolation that makes people most vulnerable to alt-right radicalization.
And every new member they gain is one they can shove to the bottom of the hierarchy and raise their position in life. And if they're fascist, they see life as a perpetual struggle anyway, so every new member struggling is one that'll perpetuate their power structure
@GoogleJanniesEatPoop you do know that to get most of these hardcore psych meds you need to see a psychiatrist, right? And that these psychiatrists are trained and licensed to do psych evaluations on people to determine if their conditions are actually real and impactful enough to warrant meds, right? (Or you buy them illegally but that’s a different can of worms) Sure, some people do better without meds. But insinuating that “everyone needs meds cuz of self diagnosed bullshit” because someone made a personal statement that going off their meds is bad for them personally is dumb. What you’re doing is equivalent of someone with diabetes going “ah yeah I need to use insulin to keep my blood sugar regulated cuz of my condition” and you responding with “yknow it’s so telling and funny that the average leftist thinks everyone needs insulin shots...”
I personally loved your point about "it's so removed from me that it doesn't even feel like an insult". It's like being insulted by being called purple, you know?
@Dave The Credible i mean you can be a far-right nationalist authoritarian without necessarily stanning Mussolini. Frankly I think more people in America would be comfortable with fascism if the name didn't have such (deservedly) bad PR.
@Dave The Credible I think the difference is b/w insulting vs calling out. When you call out someone being a fascist you are pointing out that the position they take is unacceptable and you want them to take a position that is good for all people (political opposition). When you insult someone being a cuck you want them to stay a cuck, suffer, and possibly perish (enemy). So you can call someone out to be a fascist, also insult them as being a fascist, the rest of your communication determines the context.
@Dave The Credible I think part of the issue is that we all have a similar baseline understanding of fascism, a baseline that consists of the word "Nazi." But the Nazi regime was huge and took some time to build, so without something approximating a complete understanding, two people could describe the Nazi system very differently. It's identifying those consistent factors that matters, like the combination of a desire to return to a primordial state while consolidating power into a rigid government with a pronounced aesthetic. But then there's another problem, while what I just mentioned is a telltale sign of a fascist movement, it's not a guarantee. Personally I think Olly from Philosophy Tube got it right when he said it's less important to look for "who is a fascist?" than "who is building fascism?" Since then, even the moderates who simply permit corruption and violence are taken to task for it.
It's existential. They need everyone to "really" want the same thing, because that means everyone's competing over the same things, so "how much things you got?" gives them a quantitative way to know who sucks and who rocks. They would much prefer to suck than to not know what makes a person suck. "What do I get out of this?" is a very threatening question for them, because it implies there might not really be objective standards at all, and that's terrifying. Uncertainty and fear of chaos is 100% the driving force for the right. It characterizes them; Jon Jost's work is all about this. One time, in high school, they made us do this rock climbing thing in the mountains. Everyone else in my group climbed the whole thing, and I went last. I got halfway up, got stuck, and called down to the belayer that I was ready to come down. He refused to let me: he just kept yelling vague platitudes; "You can do it!" I could not convince him that the issue wasn't that I thought I COULDN'T, but rather that I didn't CARE, so expending the energy wasn't worth it. He just could not wrap his head around this, and he ended up getting really mad and stranding me halfway up the rock face for like ten minutes. I felt like I was going crazy. Like, I kept looking up and thinking "....but there's NOTHING UP THERE." (By the way, this is why I think failures of empathy among people on the right are motivated rather than them simply not doing it in the first place. Understanding different people means accepting you don't necessarily care about their shit and they don't necessarily care about your shit, and that's way too threatening.)
From a very, very early age I decided that I did not care about the things others were interested in, and I was met with all *SORTS* of incomprehension. Since I've been mostly associating with just the people I care to associate with socially, and the workplace is generally a place of decorum, I haven't thought about this for quite a few years.
@@anselmenator by the time I got to my 30s, there was something about the women in my cohort, that were involved with the same fast living "the world is my oyster" circles. They gradually came to look tired and be distracted. In any event, they had become unattractive. The best of these would enter into relationships with what is now commonly called a cuck. Someone willing to overlook the damage and put a premium on romantic notions like faded beauty or sensual wisdom. While most of my peers went on, to either marrying younger women with less baggage, or to continue the single life, albeit within the same age group, 20 to 30 somethings, even as they aged out beyond this.
"Dude, why don't you bulk? It's not that hard. You won't be able to put on muscle mass without it." "Not everyone wants to put in muscle and get huge... Ryan, you know I'm trans."
Actually thought that was the worst line of the video...like, dude literally just spent 16 minutes arguing with that... Like, I'm not a hater and I enjoyed the video...but when that line went up on the screen, I just thought "wtf do you think you have been doing this whole time? lol"
they made shit up about my personal life. I did not argue the details by explaining my actual relationships; I deconstructed the premise for my own audience.
@@InnuendoStudios I mean, I understand the premise of the video. And again, to clarify, not a hater. I watch and enjoy your content, this video included. Also, I understand that this point is somewhat semantic in nature and wasn't meant as a criticism, but more just something that I found kind of funny... But deconstructing the premise of someone's position and describing why and how it is flawed is literally arguing against the position, whether or not your current audience holds that position.
They are not trying to persuade you to adopt their ideology. They are pointing at you and telling their (potential) followers, ‘Look! Don’t be like him. If you do, we will abuse you as much as we abuse him.’ And it scares them that you can live such a well-adjusted life without their ideology. Those that privately message you have truly lost their mind to the ideology. There’s nothing tactical. They want to abuse you into their ideology, not persuade you into it.
This is the old jehovah witness bonding tactic. They dont go door to door in early mornings to annoy people because that's statistically a good way to convert others, they do it because its annoying and most people will not react well to it, so it creates a sense of community among the ones being ostracized for doing it. When you tie people's social lives, personal values and coping mechanisms to a discourse that makes society in general see you as other (most times, with good reason), that strengthens the feeling that they can only be truly happy and understood within the community. Everyone else is trash/infidels/cucks thats why they cant bear your nonsense only we can bear (that we're also conveniently the source and maintainers of).
@@gamongamesnever really put that together but it makes so much sense for religious groups to say 'hey, go get yelled at by a bunch of randos and then come back to us so we can love bomb you"
More like "Yay, pornography but if you admit to consuming pornographic media we'll call you a sad shell of a man that can't get a girl! Or if you're a woman you're a filthy, slutty deviant for consuming it at all (but that's kinda hot tho when we see it in porn)! And we'll shove non binary into whichever category they look like the most because gender is a privilege and we can assign one to you like an asshole!"
@@macmcskullface1004 They do play into the racial stereotypes quite often ... which I'm sure titillates and infuriates their target audiences (White males) as they binge watch it.
The whole "how much do you care about what other people do in thier sex life" being its own part of the fascism-scale is so correct and this basically is the perfect example for it
This is a weird comment maybe, but thank you for how you presented polyamory; it changed my perspective. I had a past partner try to open our relationship, using increasingly nasty tactics about how monogamy was inherently abusive and objectifying, cheating without prior discussion and getting mad when I was hurt... I mean you can probably imagine. It soured me on the whole issue even though I know intellectually that polyamory shouldn’t be like that and it can be a happy model for some people. Your comments about not ranking the relationship models and not pressuring others hit home for me. Idk, I know you don’t like to talk about more personal stuff, but the way you discussed this helped clarify some stuff that had kind of been eating at me since that relationship, and I appreciate it.
I've seen this a lot and it's really upsetting to me, especially as when I discussed poly with partners past and present they often had more trouble trusting me due to past people who use poly as a scapegoat. I really wish poly was discussed and understood more so that this type of stuff would stop happening to people and they'd have stronger ground from which to stand up for themselves.
@@somad6997 it is totally possible to break down hierarchies and start thinking in a non-hierarchical mindset, it just takes a looot of effort, education and experience. And it's not like we either have a hierarchical mind or we don't, it's a work in progress for self-betterment, and sure sometimes we'll fall back on a forma mentis we've decided to abandon... It's ok. The important part is to recognise the error and try to correct ourselves/do better next time. All of this is to say, yes, sometimes you'll pick favourites, but 1) you can learn to do it far less often, and 2) you can recognise when you're doing it and stop
@@hrodebertcoad9848 I mean, not to be a dick, but asking to sleep with other people when you’re in a monogamous relationship is basically establishing that you would if you could, so why wouldn’t you if you thought you could get away with it?
@@I_can_do_20_push-ups but thats not always what asking to be poly is about you may want to make your pair a triad or open a relationship on a different axis to fulfill a need your current partners have stated they don’t want to touch with a 10 ft pole. or being in a romantic relationship with an acesexual while you go get your rocks off with someone else. while i agree its shitty to spring that question on someone they won’t necessarily cheat on you if you say no. honestly i think most couple should discuss their definitions of monogamy at the start of relationships so that everyone is on the same page about what is cheating. is looking okay is talking about attractiveness okay. is nonsexual intimacy with someone else okay? we are all health adults right who can discuss our relationship without emotionally attacking or blackmailing right? or thinking the worst of our partner without other evidence.
@@lilymercy I can understand the situation if you’re dating at asexual. That’s rough, but again I feel like if you’re not asexual and you’re dating someone who is you need to outline what your needs are going to be upfront. Shit changes though, I get that. I don’t quite know what “fulfilling a different need” means here. I’m not trying to be obtuse, the meaning of that just isn’t clear to me. The thing with the triad is I guess just something that I’m skeptical of general. You go from managing one relationship between two people to three relationships between three people. It could also be manipulative though. “Oh we should have a triad with Jim” transitions into “I just feel so much more *comfortable* and *safe* around Jim recently… you understand that, don’t you?” And badda bing badda boom you’ve been finessed. Having a discussion where you decide what monogamy is upfront is actually a pretty good idea because it would rebuff those freak dudes who think like having an Instagram is cheating and also avoid playing too fast and loose with it.
The absolute worst and lowest moments in my life came from dating a girl who wanted to be in an open relationship to justify cheating on me. Uhhh... lemme clarify that: She wanted to break up with me because she had a crush on someone else, but rather than just say that she approached me about being open and went off with the other guy while I was still thinking about it, assuming that I would say yes and that would retroactively justify going behind my back about it. Anyway, the fear of being cheated on and manipulated? That's stuck with me even to my current relationship. But that's a shitty person doing a shitty thing. Somehow I've managed to have the worst fear of the idiots thrust upon me and still managed to not blame women or polyam people because one person was shitty.
Something similar happened to me, except I was the one who brought up the idea of her being polyamorous, since she had lead me to believe that I was an asexual abuser, and I thought it was the only way to keep her in my life. It wasn't until later that I found out she had BPD. Thankfully we are not together anymore.
It occurred to me recently that the right comes up with a new term for "a man who treats women as anything other than subordinate" every few years. Back in 2013-ish they were calling everyone "white-knights", a few years later it was "betas", as mentioned they've been using "cuck" since around 2016, and then in the last year or so suddenly everyone is a "simp". I've got two theories for why this is, and the truth of it is probably a mix of the two. Firstly, I think it's just a plain ol' case of semantic satiation. These words are essentially right-wing memes, and like all memes they've got a very short lifespan before it stops being funny to the people spreading it and, arguably more important in this instance, before it stops being insulting to the people it's lobbed at. My second theory is that it's a sort of rebranding, like how the far-right are constantly inventing new labels for themselves as soon as one of them drops the mask too soon. Similarly I think people start adopting new terms for essentially the same idea when people start to catch on how ridiculous the previous one was. E.g. I feel like "beta" being much less common these days is because it's become more widely known that alpha-beta pack structures only occur in captivity, and one too many chuds got told that they're calling themselves a zoo animal.
I believe the constant rephrasing is to keep having slang that they "own", that they know they are talking with one of their tribe members when they hear it. Once it's mainstream they got a year or so before it's completely diluted and no longer theirs. Kinda also part of meme and viral culture, got to make new variations and see how far they can spread.
It;s partially that, but it's also that one of their few strategies is to throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Once one thing stops sticking, they need to throw more stuff at the wall. And their insults tend not to stick because they can't see that they are projecting.
Well, even weirder it is when one gets an explanation of the term when it started and instantly think how stupid people are, using it in a wrong way. SIMP is like one-two puch: you call the insulted guilble, but also call their deciever a mediocore pussy/peen. Telling people that's clealry superior genitalia is pretty fun, at least for me.
That's the one I'm thinking of! Yes it seems to be the case, which I find weird because it was already used in conversation (particularly in the black community) for ages. This version implies any decent treatment to a woman full stop.
So much love for the "you would be DISASTERS" line. Agree entirely. How the hell would people so filled with jealousy, hierarchical thinking in every facet of life, "win-lose" mentality, and possessive inclinations manage multiple relationships without immediately becoming the most angry, frightened version of their already toxic self?
Wow, that's a really good point. If you're a healthy human being, you can actually say, "I need monogamy to feel respected and loved," and expect your partner to respect that. And find it valid to call them on it if they don't. You don't need a system or a community to back your complaint. You don't need absolutes to vilify the action in all cases. You can handle saying you're not comfortable with an open relationship if your partner asks, and if you decide to try it, you can still call your partner(s) out if they disrespect you or your relationship. You can just focus on the emotional betrayal of a romantic partner doing something you agreed not to do. And you can stand firm, even if the other person is like, "Oh, come on! All the cool kids are doing it." Because what anyone else is doing in their relationships isn't the point. But if your whole identity revolves around being unemotional, stoic, and logical, then you don't have a very good argument against that stuff you don't like other than, "It's bad and evil." If your whole identity revolves around how others see you, especially other men, if all the other men start doing something that makes you uncomfortable, then again, your only argument is "It's bad and evil." If you base your identity on women's willingness to let you dominate them and control their lives, when they just laugh in your face, your only recourse is to demonize the woman and her behavior. If you have to pretend that you're always "logical" and in control of your emotions, if you can never be sad or hurt about anything other than how liberals are ruining "your" country, then you can't protect your personal emotional boundaries without insisting they're universal.
I may not be polyam, trans, or nb, but seeing someone finally accurately describe the behaviorstyle of the far right is quite illuminating. Thank you for allowing me to be able to see more of their mindset and just how different it is from ours.
Jenny Nicholson has this old video about how the dark side in Star Wars sucks and how there's basically no good reason to join it ever. Everyone is always scared of everyone else, 'cause everybody below you might kill you for your spot in the hierarchy, and everyone above you is scared of YOU for the same reason. And everything you ever achieve just goes up the pyramid directly to the top. And yes, the Jedi have all these rules about keeping your feelings in check, but the only feeling the dark side ever allows itself to have is anger, so they're not even better on that front. Needless to say everything she says (except for the stuff about ghosts and cloning) maps very cleanly onto the alt-right.
I mean, I feel like fascism is inherently unstable because there's no inherent trust. Like, the people who are actually within the fascist movement(not the people the movement hast tricked into supporting it) know that their rhetoric has no basis in reality. They know that the words they're saying have no meaning, and they rely upon that ambiguity to gain support and use it to do things that otherwise would not be able to be done. However, this ambiguity is a double edged sword because among movement members it erodes trust. You know that the party line is a dogwhistle, but what if the guy one tier up of you is giving you a different dogwhistle? The very lack of sincerity that makes fascism a useful vehicle for policy positions makes it unstable as it means it cannot trust itself.
@@drahydra I mean yeah. Sure they are. But many villains are modeled after the Nazis. It's just that many of them aren't modeled *well* And that Star Wars out of all franchises would end up not just portraying the nazi's aesthetic but also their inherent ideological issues in a family film about space wizards, is not a given.
You nailed it at the end there: These guys are mortified of having their partners cheat on them, not for fear of broken hearts, but because they somehow think “losing control” of their wives will make them “unmanly”.
I agree but this goes way beyond personal relationships... The cuckservative meme refers to the immigration question. Putting other people over your own.
Doesn't feeling unmanly break hearts for many of those with man identity? It's literally widespread torture/bulling tactic to make victim do unmanly things or call unmanly names?
16:05. This seems like it might be a good time to point out that in the predominantly racist south, studies have shown that one of their most prolific porn engine searches is "interracial".
my favourite part of it is that brooker basically openly admits it in interviews. people ask him what he's most afraid of, because of black mirror, and he regularly is like "how do you know your kids are really yours though?". at least he's honest about it?
To be fair to Brooker, the characters that are most concerned with it are also portrayed as abusive, miserable and pathetic (although, granted, a lot of people seem to miss the point of those episodes), and meanwhile the show has a whole bunch of interracial relationships.
Yeah it’s just kinda funny that he uses it as a framing device so seemingly often Like even in “be right back” there was a mini-subplot of sexual inferiority and insecurity that seemed really unnecessary? It doesn’t seem like a race thing, the guy the wife cheats with in “the grain” is the same race as the husband. But it’s too blatant for me to not laugh at things like the concept of getting cucked by your clone after you die lmao
@@PedanticPig yeah, but it's still funny to me how interviewers are obviously expecting "surveillance" or "social credit score" or "AI uprising" or something and then he goes off on "infidelity? hospital baby switch up? SECRET CLONES??? there's so many ways your kids could be not your kids!!" and the interviewer is like, oh, right, i mean, i guess
This kinda reminds me of how in some certain religious societies marital rape doesn’t exist so to speak (fundamentalist and Muslim). Because they say you consented to sex at any time by saying “I do”.
@@dielfonelletab8711 Lol really? Like how do you even start up a program like that????? These incels think this through or is it as simple as... female slaves? Because if it's just female slaves well then........ That's not going to go down smoothy my guys. Just saying : )
@@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Yeah something like that! You've got to remember that not only do incels desperately want women, they also detest them. So having women as slaves is probably the perfect solution for them: they get to punish women while also fulfilling their desires. Pretty sad honestly.
As someone who was for a long time in the thought space of these people and drank a lot of that Kool-Aid, I'll give you what my thought process was: "Yes, destroy all your support structures, relationships and your entire life. Because then you'll be lonely and angry and depressed. Just like me. If I have to feel like a failure for not living up to my ideal of masculinity, then so do you"
Honestly with a lot of alt-right guys, they see women, lgbt+ people, and more left leaning men throw off traditional gender roles and come out happier for it. And when they’re made unhappy by those same systems they don’t seek to join us in letting go of those ideas, they just insist we have to be as miserable as them.
@Diets Land you mean the sharia law that the "Christian" right tries to force on us by insisting America is a Christian nation even though the constitution says the opposite? Or like the colonization that white Europeans did to the entire continent? Or when they decided that California and Texas were theirs now, and deported the Mexicans that had lived there for all of history? Because suddenly their ancestral home didn't belong to them anymore? Crack a history book. I'm much happier around my Mexican coworkers than I've ever been around a right-wingnut.
I might be the exception, but I'm not necessarily happier with being less typically masculine. I'm naturally more traditionally feminine in personality (compassionate, sensitive etc.) and my parents were always very supportive of that. While I do like that side of me and I wouldn't want to totally lose them, I would like having been raised with more positive masculine traits as well like bravery, emotional resilience/regulation, and discipline, because I very much lack those traits, and my life is worse for it.
@@KarlSnarks I think it’s fair to want those traits. As a woman, I often wish that I had better emotional regulation and wasn’t such a massive doormat all the time lol. But I think you can work towards those qualities even if you weren’t raised with them (I have improved in those areas over the past few years with therapy and with time/experience). Yet even so, I don’t think every person needs to/should have every single personality trait that society deems as “positive”-not only would that get contradictory fast, but everyone would be the same and pretty boring! Compassion is a wonderful thing, I’m with my partner now partly because his compassion and gentleness is so relieving and I honestly couldn’t see myself with anyone who lacked that.
As a monogamous person, I dont necessarily "get" polyamory, but I feel like I'm open minded enough to understand that I dont need to "get" it. If y'all are happy and no one is being hurt, its none of my business what you all are doing.
I get why its appealing (at least from the way one of my poly friends explained it) the group is sorta like a tool box for eachother. Also some people have more love to give or need more love. Sorry if that was wrong but it was explained to me like 10 years ago.
Here are the poly relationship models I've been in over the past 16 years, from most complex to simplest: - Family-style orgiastic 6-person poly with the most delicious meals ever. (4 years) - Triad that all loves each other. (10 years) - Secondary-sisters to different primaries in which neither of us interacted with each other's primaries. (1 year) - Just dating one dude who is open to poly and doesn't quite get it, but we mostly just think each other is hot AF so why not. (6 months) - Single and going on lesbian beach-trips. (In the downtime.) They've all been valuable moments in my life, and I've grown from all of them. Exploring all the different flavors and meeting so many new people has been wonderful for me. 😊 Why am I polyam? I think it's too much for me to expect one person to be my everything, and be the same back to them. I'm not going to force my movie-lover partner to come to board game night; I'm much happier with him watching a movie with his fellow movie-lover partner, while I rally my other partners for board game night. And then we get to tell each other how everything went! Seeing the two Linux-nerd partners get along so well with something I have no interest in makes me so happy! 😁 Sometimes everyone is equal, sometimes there's a hierarchy, and sometimes it's a jumbled mess. It all depends on how much time one can devote to another. Ultimately, it's about maximizing the happiness of each other's lives through specialization of our skills, interests, and needs. Each person provides for the rest in their own unique way.
"keep a leash on your woman"? These people don't even see women as real people, the way they talk. What right do they have to say anything about relationships?
Leash implies they want subservient pets who love them completely unconditionally and are loyal to a fault, without having any really complex thoughts. This is what we in the biz call “telling on yourself”.
It's called "love" "sexuality" and "subjectivity", things that only exist in transient form which fades with each passing moment to renew itself once again in the next, over and over again, never having stable form. People "reserve their subjectivity by implementing their ends [...] in the course of thus objectifying them" (Hegel), and because in a moral context, so to speak, there is a "content" to "the moral point of view" of subjectivity: and since things are so complicated in people's complex inner life, and because "the [human] will [...] in the determinate condition of immediacy" acts in and of itself devoid of lack in it's egocentric focus of self and self-ownership: and since what is 'property' is the "embodiment of freedom" (ibid.) you have the effect, and I quote, that: "Real men and real nature become [with recognition and interaction within Capitalism] mere predicates-symbols of this hidden, unreal man and of this unreal nature [postulated by the existence of a abstract 'being in itself']. Subject and predicate are therefore related to each other in absolute reversal-a mystical subject-object or a subjectivity alienating itself and returning from alienation into itself, and the subject this process; a pure, incessant revolving within itself [called 'love it or leave it']". (Marx)
Nah. We understand women. A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect. A woman wants a man that makes her feel secure. That means that the man must not only be respected by her, but other members of society. So, yes... Keep your woman on a leash. Do it for her.
I may have been listening to it on a loop since watching this video; it's amazing and thank you for introducing us all to it! ... I shall return to binging their discography now.
"What's in it for me" It's a deeply flawed question in a way. Don't care what other people think, not just these assholes, but cancel culture happy left assholes and all sorts of other types of assholes you will find everywhere who will judge you in all sorts of directions. (of course don't be a jerk either) Well, you probably already know this anyway. I imagine the question is more rhetorical. You are jumping down the rabbit hole of this bizarre logic that many of themselves probably haven't actually thought through, trying to get people to actually think it through and curious where it actually goes. Thanks for another thoughtful breakdown of bizzarre right wing thinking.
“White supremacy has got them stereotyping black men into being everything toxic masculinity says they should be” *pauses to laugh out loud at the delicious irony*
It makes sense, it’s like a salesman tactic. They create mass inferiority complex for their members so they can easily sell them white supremacy as a way to feel superior.
Steve Harvey perfectly models how bad guys can rise to power in my mind because I'm a pretty reasonable person and I am well aware of Steve Harvey's abhorrent views on women and stuff but I still kind of like him because he was a good family feud host and his suit line is funny. It turns out for me to get behind an authoritarian all he has to do is put a suit shop in Tampa on my way to work and let me drive by it every day.
@@Gloomdrake - He's mostly intolerable to me. He generally wasn't that bad, the times I've seen him on Family Feud (outside of fake laughing, especially at his own jokes, and stumbling around to ham it up). But I can't stand to hear him talk on his radio show. He almost always says something bigoted or otherwise stupid.
Many "church" or "Bible" minded Black folk end up twisted like that. As someone said in another thread, If Republicans would ease up on the racism ... a whole lot of Black people would be Republicans overnight, because Xtian misogyny/sexism, the subtle and overt homophobia, along with cultural and religious ideals about parenting, marriage and family already have them in agreement.
It's remarkable how much crap people put up with from psychiatry. SSRIs barely work, waste weeks of your life waiting to see if they worked, have plenty of side effects to bother reasonable people, and cause serious withdrawal symptoms if you quit without a taper. And yet no one gets the torches and pitchforks and demands better. There are better meds we could be giving. Hell, there's OTC shit that's better antidepressants than SSRIs. And people just meekly take it. What the hell?
About the only thing this video misses- which is a shame, because it's fundamental- is that cuckoldry as a concept only makes sense if women are PROPERTY. Which tells you all you need to know about what conservatives think the proper role of women in society is.
@@optillian4182 And this does not just apply to far right scum either. I remember seeing a video from Cr1tikal about that whole pathetic Sneako drama and him distinctly using the word "allow" when refering to Sneako not caring that his gf sleeps with other men. "Allow". As if she is his toy.
While many of them do think of women as property, I don't think this is central to the whole 'cuck' thing. In fact, the strong emotional reaction they have to cuckoldry only makes sense if you think of women as people capable of making their own choices. Having things stolen from you doesn't necessarily indicate a deficiency in your own masculinity, and the idea of their woman being "taken" is more of rape fetishism (or unwilling NTR) rather than cuckoldry. Yes, there's the implied lack of strength and masculinity inherent in protecting your things and keeping a "leash" on your woman, but I really don't think that's all there is here. No, what makes cuckoldry so emotionally charged for them is that it implies their woman *prefers* other men to them. They're not good enough for her. They don't measure up and that's why she's sleeping around. It's not really about the woman, it's entirely about how she makes him feel about himself. It's his deep rooted insecurity that he's just not good enough to keep her satisfied that makes cuckoldry so concerning to them. The existential horror they feel about cuckoldry isn't that another man is sleeping with his woman, it's that she likes sleeping with other men more than she likes sleeping with him.
Nah. Don't confuse the Sargons and other incredibly lazy hacks trying to make a quick buck out of hate with the true weirdos who really want to dogpile on people. These guys will go to ridiculous extremes in order to ruin the life of someone they hate, and they hate a lot of people.
"Boys, from the bottom of my heart...No You Should Not. You would be D I S A S T E R S." -has to pause video because I'm wheezing- Perfect. Too much truth.
I legit do think that the fastest way to normalize polyamory (or anything, really) is to tell the standard white man that they'd be bad at it and shouldn't even try, like this. I loved the approach. We have Oppositional Defiance Disorder engrained as a gender expectation, basically, so I think it'd work, lol.
"They're afraid of polyamory getting normalized, of people they want to date asking them to consent to things they're not comfortable with, and getting shamed as relics of the past if they refuse." Bingo. And honestly? As a person who's in favour of letting people have their sexuality in whatever way they want, who has polyamorous friends who I respect, who hates these alt-right assholes you're talking about, and who's a fan of yours? I can relate. I've had very few relationships. I've found dating to be terrible and stressful. I'm in a very happy relationship now, we're likely to get married sometime in the near-ish future, and I trust her deeply. But part of the reason I can trust her is because I know she, like me, has deeply ingrained expectations of monogamy and faithfulness on both parts of the relationship. Marriage and monogamy isn't about "possessing" someone, at least to me: it's about being able to _relax_, knowing that as long as we keep being kind and attentive to each other, we'll work our way through any issues and rough patches that come up. When it comes to marriage, it's about knowing that we'll both put in that effort because _we made vows to each other_ and because _those vows matter_. You describe polyamory as "just dating", but that's the thing: being in permanent "dating" mode would be a _nightmare scenario_ for me. And although I don't worry about myself or my partner, at least not anymore, I do worry about what will happen to guys who are _like_ me, if polyamory expands beyond its niche and becomes more common. I found it difficult enough to date in the first place. That need for monogamy is something that I feel as strongly about as my _sexual orientation_. Polyamory becoming common would mean someone like me would be taking a _hard pass_ on more and more potential partners, and I can even see them coming to a point where they decide it's not worth even trying anymore. It's a hard balance to strike, since I _don't_ want to shame people who are comfortable in their polycules, but the whole idea behind it is really hard to shake and it makes me very unlikely to come out in support of broad poly acceptance. I can definitely see how people with a bit less discipline would get suckered in and radicalized by these right-wing commentators.
I don't think he described polyamory as just dating, I'm pretty sure that part of the video was referring specifically to what he was doing at that time. There are married couples who are poly. The idea is that this sentiment, "it's about being able to relax, knowing that as long as we keep being kind and attentive to each other, we'll work our way through any issues and rough patches that come up. When it comes to marriage, it's about knowing that we'll both put in that effort because we made vows to each other and because those vows matter." applies to marriage, not specifically monogamy or polyamory/polygamy. About your last paragraph, I wonder about that too. I think the preference for mono or poly is mostly inherited culturally, but there might be some sad mono boys and girls in the very far future. I'll just leave it to the very far future to deal with, I don't know if it will even be a problem.
I don't think polyamory would be a majority of people though, like more than 50% of the population. Monogamous people, people who look into their future and really only see one person to share their life with, will be able to partner and couple with other monogomous people, and polyamourous people will be able to get in relationships with other polyamourous people. You'll just have to ask the other person's prefrence. That's it. Same way a straight dude can't really date a lesbian, and vice versa, a monogomous person won't date a polyamourous person, easy and simple as that. It's scary not being the only thing around, but it doesn't have to be. it doesn't have to be a bad thing. People being free to live without societal judgement is a good thing. You'll(this is a general you'll) adapt. society will change. it doesn't have to be bad. obligatory apology for how rambley this reply was, hopefullly this helped
Other thing I've seen a lot of this people think and actually do is cheat on their partners because "One woman is not enugh for a macho man", and they see it as normal and natural, while, if their partner cheated on them, it would be the end of the world
It's the same reason they're fine with tomboys but not effeminate men. A woman "acting like a man" is considered an upgrade, but a man "acting like a woman" is a downgrade.
What I've learned was that they believe "Cheat on them first, so that when they eventually cheat on you, you'd be ahead". It an insecurity and a lack of trust and a mechanism to protect themselves from being hurt.
@@ScavengerFX Thanks for the suggestion, I bought it. I'd be lying if I didn't say this makes me very anxious... but I want to explore that. The comments section on this video are great.
The way that people choose to insult comes from someones own fears. It’s absolutely a fear of being cheated on. Which says a lot about the security of their relationships.
Hey thanks for pointing that out. From an observational perspective Ive always felt like toxic masculinity (and on the flipside - a terrible image of women) was a somewhat bigger problems in black communities. I honestly wonder why.
@@americantoastman7296 Assignation to nature, primality, hypersexuality, strenght, average bigger cock size; and the genetical determinism that makes a good part of them able to perform that, just like on the contrary asian-typed male bodies exist in the only cultures in which being an effeminate man is less frowned upon. All this is basically response from western/white-imperialism/supremacy that determines the patriarcal constructs of the previous centuries relatively to non-white bodies and charasterictics hegemonic masculity has assigned to them.
AmericanToastman i think that the worst aspects of general american culture are amplified in black culture because of the ways in which white supremacy has disparaged black neighborhoods and community. edit: btw im not black, feel free to correct me if im wrong
I've never understood that approach to masculinity. "A true man does whatever he wants! But only if it's activities we approve of". "Go your own way but only if it happens to go in the same direction as ours". So much insecurity and close-mindedness - and hypocrites, all of them.
Isn't that the exact same approach that many people (and probably a lot of the same people) also has to "think for yourself"? "Think for yourself! Research it! Make up your own mind! No, not like that!"
I very much appreciate the simplicity of the 'that's Ed' joke, makes me giggle every time. I also very much appreciate how slowly and clearly Ian talks, to the point where I couldn't really notice any mistakes in the auto captions, which is an extremely rare occurrence, so thanks dude.
Like I always say, if there's ever a housing shortage, it's good to know you can live rent-free in their heads. "Ah, that place where the cerebrum would otherwise be...Great place for a futon."
I hate to break it to you, most harem anime comes from Japan's pretty conservative culture already: Almost always one guy and a bunch of girls. Not to say there aren't harem anime that characterize healthy relationships, but that it has its own conservative norms to consider.
7:45 So, I noticed that on the right everything has to be either banned or mandatory. I want to live in a free society where everyone can choose their own lifestyle. I want to allow rightwingers to LARP being in the middle ages if they want to, even if I don't like it. But no, if they don't like something, that has to be banned, if they like something, that has to be mandatory. They don't accept "it is allowed" or "it is optional".
Research suggests that tolerance of ambiguity, in general, is something right wingers have trouble with. This sounds like it could be a specific case of that.
The problem with that is, that most right-wingers (at least those that still think they are centrist, even though they only are because they have been pushing the Overton window to the right since 1975) would claim the same: You can keep your rainbow flag (as long as it's in LA, or in Canada, or so), just don't you dare take away their Southern Pride Flag. They don't care if you are some poor libtard cuck, they just want to keep their women under their thumb and not be called "sexist", and to be able to make some jokes at work and show some affection to their female employees and not be fired for trumped up PC bullshit. They don't require you to use the n-word, they just want to use it without being "cancelled". Nobody has to come to a proper cross-burning and lynching, but why do you have to go and spoil the fun for those who like to. Environmental, work safety, or hygiene regulations during a pandemic are tyranny, is this Soviet Russia, isn't a man entitled to the sweat of his brow? Nobody feels more constricted and oppressed by leftwing PC cancel culture than the right. Trump is running on being the victim of the left. I think it is high time to move away from the whole argument about who has the better debate manners, and instead focus on what kind of world each sides wants to build. Fighting for substance, for political change on climate change, crony capitalism, police violence, wealth inequality, health care, etc. is a much clearer thing. There are those on your side and those whose opposition unmasks them as monsters, and as for those, frankly, who cares what they feel? (And I am not saying, don't debate people - on SUBSTANCE. But let's not all get dragged down with etiquette... against Nazis...)
Right wingers just love to Larp that they are liberals who dont care about what other people do. Yet they oppose gay marriage, civil rights, LGBTQ rights, womens suffrage etc.
"what a minority wants but the majority will tolerate" this is so true, being apparently the only Hentia consumer with zero tolerance for scenes of a girl randomly urinating for no reason, this issue bugs me quite a bit.
I recently went through a breakup caused in part by my partner wanting to be poly. I tried, but I found out I didn't have that kind of emotional capacity and there's still a lot of insecurities I would have had to let go of to make it work, and I'm not ready for that yet. I didn't feel comfortable forcing a poly person to be monogamous, so we had to part ways. Both of these things are valid, it's a matter of what you feel you can do. I think there's no shame in being poly, it shows that your thinking is less organized around tradition, maybe you feel more secure, maybe less, who knows. Poly is just another type of thing to be, just like mono. There's no shame in being mono, it just means you might prefer a more one-to-one type of relationship. Don't shit on people for no reason
My monogamy is not really a testament to my husband's manhood. I just prefer to not deal with a bunch of people. I have a lot of responsibility and trying to take care of a child, disabilities, and be a wife is hard enough without having to take on the responsibility of maintaining other romantic relationships. In other words I have no spoons left and I need a nap.
Couldn't other romantic relationships make life easier by sharing responsibilities? Do you have friendships outside of your marriage? Polyamory can be nearly indistinguishable from just having close friends.
@@downsjmmyjones101 no I don't. Even if they do house work they make more house work and they require attention and love. I don't have the time or energy for it. Not only that I am on immunosuppressants so they are more of a risk to me than a help.
@@rn2787 Just because someone would also make more responsibilities doesn't mean that they would be able to significantly lighten the load on someone else. Just like how your husband makes more responsibilities, he also shares them and makes your life easier. Since you don't have any friends, your husband manages to provide all the support you need?
@@downsjmmyjones101 he doesn't make life easier as a whole. Relationships are work while there are benefits it's also a lot of strain on me trying to make everything work. Just making plans with my family requires actual work. I have to make sure nobody is sick and make sure everyone they talk to or hang out with hasn't been sick for weeks. I can't be around people who work with the public. Illnesses like the common cold land me in the hospital and covid might actually kill me if I got it. I was in the hospital three times last year once for a cold and twice for the flu because my child was in public school and I got the dead vaccine. I really literally can't be around people because of my immunosuppressant and I can't go without my medications without causing permanent damage to my body. I have one close friend and I live over two hours away and I see her maybe four times a year and never during cold or flu season. I only see my family on holidays and maybe once or twice on a non-holiday. My husband started working from home two months before quarantine because of the risk. He doesn't even work with the public, but his coworkers were too much of a risk especially since they do international business and travel constantly. Not only that, but I am exhausted and in pain from normal activities.
@@rn2787 I'm not arguing that it isn't hard. Clearly relationships are worth it considering you have them. So why wouldn't others be similar to the one you have with your husband? Why wouldn't others be worth having?
If you laugh the whole world laughs with you, if you cry you cry alone... if youre happy you dont question your life choices too much or compare hapiness
This pretty much hits the nail on the head. I am very monogamous. Whenever polyamory is brought up I can't help but imagine it as him/her ranking their partners "They have to have a favorite". That would make my insecurity flare up like a light show
For me, I havent had a poly based relationship (mainly because I haven t had a partner that wanted one). And I don't care if others do, or if I ever have one. Because we are who we are. And as long as all involved are ok with it, then it is fine.
@@downsjmmyjones101 some parents legit not only have a favourite, but have no issues letting everyone know. Yes, it is very shitty parenting, but it still happens too often. I can see why people who are used to that sort of dynamic at the least can't imagine being equally loving to several people
@@Call-me-Al I don't know if it's shitty parenting. I guess it might depend on what "having a favorite" means. For instance, my younger brother has been taking advantage of my mother's and father's good will. He is clearly not their favorite and for good reason.
@@downsjmmyjones101 taking advantage and parents being not happy about it is kind of natural consequence. I more of meant where they never were harmed by any of their children, but they still make sure the kids understand that if there was a fire, this is the order they would grab the kids in and it won't be the understandable youngest first (the least capable of getting out themselves order). The kind of parents who if the favourite child died, they would go "why couldn't it have been you instead!"
I love how he kind of breaks into tiny laughter when he says “polyamory is good because sometimes it’s alpha” like the pure silliness broke him and I love it.
IM DYING WITH LAUGHTER!!! “... Boys, from the bottom of my heart... No You Should Not. You would be DISASTERS” It’s so true too, no one wants them to even try being poly. Whenever they try to force it, because they’ve got a bisexual girlfriend and they think the IDEA of a three-way relationship is sooo wonderful for them, it always ends in jealousy and their fragile egos being smashed.
It is EXTREMELY funny when hetero men try to get their partners to consent to a threeway and then, almost universally, get really upset because it turns out that they generally suck at making their female partners feel good and actually it's probably going to end up with the girlfriend dumping her boyfriend because she realises that holy FUCK is she undervalued. Like, it's not generally going to end up with the two women dating, but it very very often results in the couple breaking up because the kind of man who coerces his female partner into a multiple sex situation she isn't super-into is probably also not great at sex for anyone other than himself and she is very likely to finally realise just how true that is via active, direct comparison. It just leads to her going "hmm, wow I'm really not being treated great in ANY aspect of this relationship, huh? Probably want to think about whether I want to keep being in it tbh."
@Russ Olson I feel like you can keep using what strategies work for you, but I'd caution that there's additional danger not in them calling you, but using that information to dox you or otherwise be creepy. Stay safe, friend.
@Russ Olson If you don't know Jesse Dollemore, you might enjoy his channel. He's a vet too who claps back at salt right stupidity. Watched him on and off for years. He seems like a good enough guy : )
There is a segment of the population who worships strength, to the point where all virtues are *defined* as "strength." They are deathly afraid of moving down any socially-recognized hierarchy, and you (Ian) just being yourself and happy *theoretically* threaten that. Just the theoretical threat is enough.
...y'know, somehow I completely missed the connection between the pattern of black men's bodies being hypersexualized (see e.g. goddamn Cards Against Humanity), the "they'll take your women" scaremongering, and the whole cuck thing. I learned something awful today and I'm a little sad but the world makes more sense. Also the point about "what a vocal minority wants and the majority will put up with" is a good one - that applies to a lot of media.
Keep looking for that one, it's's been one of the most consistent brain bugs regarding race and masculinity mythology, which are very tightly interrelated. Back in the day, the ancient Greek types felt that a man swinging too much pipe was a sign of an unenlightened spirit, so statues of heroic figures often had smaller junks. That small hog was evidence of them being ruled more by the Logos than the Eros. Facts don't care about your Phallus, Socratic style. The alternative was to be more animal, less human, like the other peoples or like the half human Satyrs and such. Hmm, less human, more bestial... Where's that sound familiar? That bundle of memes kept stuck in the ""Western"" mindset for the next few thousand years, but along the way a desire to also uplift the brutish man of action rose, and with him rose his massive dong, because of course if he had a small junk there's no way he can be a man of virile physicality. So that meme cycle just repeats and reiterates man/beast dualities and wraps it up in social sexual insecurities and anxieties, which is one of the deepest and most motivating anxieties. The next worst anxiety is fear of the out-group overcoming your group, and boy howdy does that get supercharged when you can mix the two and slap a racist heuristic model on top of that.
Almost all hate groups share one common factor: misogyny. It’s the first step you have to trip down to start hating others. Hate groups use extreme language about “our women” and “our children” being threatened to create fear and outrage - not for their safety, but for the lost dignity and ‘honor’ of in-group men. From there, critical thinking and other higher functions *literally shut down in the brain* and you can lead any fool by the nose to do whatever and hurt whoever you want.
@@InnuendoStudios It's also, err, hmm, a good pick? Like, if you're picking *one group* to push down on, then women are a good pick! - Women are near as half the population. Which means that the uplifted group (Eg: Men) beenfits more, because the bigger the surpressed group, the more surplus can be appropriated from them. - Women are (rule of thumb) physically distinct from not women (especially if you start enforcing sexist cultural norms vis a vis dress etc.) So you know who the surpressed and the uplifted groups are easily. - Women are inherent to humanity/society, which means they'll *always be there to be surpressed.*
terfs, swerfs, and radfems oh and honestly allot the right in general tend to stereotype all men as one thing and than get pissed off when someone calls them out on it dont get me wrong allot of hategroups do have misogynistic tendencies and hell both terfs and swerfs particularly hate women and transwomen i think all hate groups share one thing in common: hatred of the different, of the outside
So I've gotta admit -- the part where Ian talked about men being terrified of polyamory because they couldn't "control" their partners, and that they would lose them if that "control" was lost? I felt that. Which is why I think and thought polyamory wasn't for me. But now this video rather got me thinking that maybe I should address this fear with therapy instead of just thinking polyamory isn't for me. I mean, it still might not be for me, but me dealing with my insecurities can't be a bad thing.
@@dongvermine that's an interesting question. I'm single at time of typing this, but my last relationship ended (cordially, I might add and I still have a good friendship with my ex) because she is poly, and realised her way of life wasn't compatible with mine, or at the very least not compatible with my insecurities. Long story short, she was very aware of how much I was hurting when she was away with her other partners, and while she absolutely didn't want me to be miserable, she also couldn't be someone she was not -- meaning she couldn't be who I needed, and I couldn't be that person for her either. So we broke it off. That... might not be an answer to your question, I realise.
Still one of my favorites on your channel. When I first watched it, I had been examining my own masculinity and the toxic aspects of it for a while. And it put one of the final nails in the coffin. I have accepted myself as polyamorous now. And god damn am I glad I have.
Hey 👋 Just curious. Wouldn't being trans and non-binary contradict itself since you need a binary distinction between genders to transition into the other? 🤔
@@Rokfreakx Nonbinary people generally fall under the trans umbrella insofar as being trans is defined as being a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth (it doesn't strictly have anything to do with transition), and being assigned nonbinary at birth isn't really a thing, at least as far as I'm aware. That said, there are some individual nonbinary people who don't also identify as trans for one reason or another.
As an anime fan, I want to say that having the recommended videos on the alt right video all be anime pics was masterful. I hate what my community has become in the eyes of so many. Please keep fighting the good fight.
@@kobemop Only among the most vocal and visible anime fans. Anybody who's ever been to an anime convention can tell you that those guys are very much the minority lol THEY'RE JUST SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS. And it only takes a few to ruin it for everybody.
@@ValkyrieTiara Agreed, Neo-reactionaries of right wing ilk always hijack and ruin anime and anime communities and it's exasperating that they continue to spread toxic hate in the series and fandom's that I love.
@@kobemop I can't help but wonder, do they actually pay attention to the plot of all that anime they watch, or do they only watch them for the flashy fights?
@@azazel166 Many of them are surprisingly good enough to understand the stories, but their superiority complex also makes them much more like a bunch of irredeemable bastards which kinda affected by how niche the anime that they watched so they can avoid being percieved as a normies by people.
I love it! That bit at the end where you point out that you're not married! You didn't mention if any of your partners are married (and I'm not asking), but I had a brief vision of Walter White shouting: "You think think of me? I AM THE ONE WHO CUCKS!"
Goddamn, dude. This video was like a pipe-bomb with an 11 minute fuse that blows up into words "No u, i'm happy". By no means a criticism, I genuinely enjoyed this.
I don't think that using Nick Offerman as a stand-in for the internet beardos is very fair, to Nick Offerman. He's talented and successful and they never will be.
To be fair, the alt right and internet beardos just about always hold up the character of Ron Swanson as an exemplar of "Man at his most Man" so the comparison fits pretty well.
Yeah, legit, Nick Offerman is like the perfect example of "manly" masculinity without toxicity. He like woodworking and nature and loves people because that's wholesome. His character on Parks and Rec is a satire that he delivers with a prefect dry humor.
@@AndrewThibeault, unfortunately I think his character in P&R ended up being a lot of lampshading mixed with "lovable sitcom misogynist (or libertarian)." I do think his character did have some genuinely good moments that criticazed his ideology, but overall he mostly ended up on the "winning" side of arguments. The Jack to Leslie's Liz Lemon.
I used to be polyamourous and became monogamous with a particular partner. I used to believe we're wired a certain way but like sexuality, sometimes it can be fluid, and both ways are valid.
As someone who recently discovered she's polyam I found this video not only informative and entertaining like all your others, but also really comforting. It's nice to see real polyamorous people existing, especially because they can be hard to find in real life.
Well, he is still a human being and is capable of thinking (very low bar, indeed). I know you're just insulting him but though cathartic, insults get you nowhere. ... They do get you likes, so maybe mission accomplished? Look, I'm not defending the guy or validating his garbage take on life, race, masculinity and/or women. I just think that being mean on the internet is not helpful for anybody.
"But as Khloe acquires a taste for black man, will things go too far?". Who could possibly forget singular "black man" and everything he does for his partner? I could barely contain myself while writing that quote.
I remember getting called a cuck when I entertained the idea of dating a single mom a few years ago. I'm at the age where it's sorta inevitable, and lots of rural areas sadly families start very young. It's not like she had four kids from three dads or something messed up, just one from a guy that lied about his marital status and she called it off. Cuck has been the goto turn for them to use to make other guys feel bad. OH! Also wanted to add, I've known white dudes were very hostile towards me as a young adult, especially around their girlfriends. I've always had this suspicion and every white guy I talked to laughed it off, but yet I catch them complaining if their wife or girlfriend even looks at a darker skin person. But the fact that they make porn of it? HA!
Perhaps subconsciously, I have been guilty of harbouring the stereotypes you called out here. I'm glad to have been given the opportunity to address that about myself.
This video is like a demonitsation bingo
"Racism" *ding* "Sexism" *ding* "Cucks" *ding* "Polyamorous" *ding*
"Alt right" *ding*
@@nukiradio porn
@@breadbread4226 "Covid" in the title- DING
@@anshagrawal254 picture of a swastica *ding*
The F word ding
The "I get what?" sequence really hit home for me. It's been hard for me to put into words how toxic masculinity doesn't just lash out at the prescribed Others 'n Lessers (🤢), but also robs the happiness of the people that buy into it. But this does it.
Best comment in the video. Perfectly sums it up and should be a good talking point when being confronted by people. Just keep asking it.
Seriously lol... If I started acting like a giant asshole towards everyone elses sex lives like these weirdoz... I'd find myself VERY alone in life. Folks typically can only stomach a creep like that for so long... So I guess that's what you get out it. Loneliness......... Lol that sucks. Nvm that shit.
I prefer being that thing called being happy : )
While i agree with you that it was good, I think that he misses out on part of it, that what you get from it is being able to feel superior to the others 'n lessers. That's why heirarchies are valuable to the middle tiers. They might get shit upon but they also get to do some shitting upon.
@@Oceloctopus it's almost like the entire modus operandi of people with psychopathic attitudes and world views is sadism, and they don't actually care was is best and right for society or humanity at large, but their own short-term, emotionally-stunted satisfaction.
@@DanTalksGames Well said. It's frustrating to deal with destructive people... Sacrificing their futures to own teh libz lol.
You work with what you got though so some times you run into a cuckerdoodledoo. Just a person who's obsessed with that word...
I think these guys who say the word "cuck" all of the time need to just stop...
Cuck rhymes with fuck... My rice cooker has the same name lolz. Chickens in zelda.... The word ia kinda funny... and fuck i keep saying it now. Lame!
Anyways... They are saying simp instead of cuck now? Can we go back to soy boy? I'm having trouble keeping up ever since the goya thing...
But simp just sounds meh compared to cuck. This change of the term feels uneeded and whatever... like a bad remake...
Cuck to simp is like duke nukem 3d to duke nukem forever... lame... not a fan sorry. Remember what george carlin said kiddoz. Stop changing the words or some shit lol...
And i just saw trimp trying to get the woman vote soooo... pretty fuckin funny honestly lololol. Let's get real guys... We do nice things for people that we like... It's called being human lolz. Try it some time incelz : )
I've said for a long time: people who say things like, "Men and women aren't capable of being friends" are saying way more about themselves than society.
I guess you dont even know what lies behind this statement, dont you?
@@ESALTEREGOhave you considered getting a hobby and stop commenting so much on this channel
@@susiek4593 "have a life " says the guy who meticulously searched through all comment sections under all his video just to find out my other comments
(Also, it's gonna blow your mind, but i could've commented once a few years under this channel 🤯🤯🤯)
@@ESALTEREGO I randomly encountered, plus youtube shows the number of comments made on a given channel
@@susiek4593 ok maybe, but i still think you need to find another hobby than randomly scrolling comments to find one person
PSA: a person close to me pointed out I used "female" and "woman" interchangeably and drew a category distinction between "men and women" and "trans people," which was a dipshit thing to do and I wish I'd caught it earlier. I was thinking of how Steve Harvey would categorize things and not taking the time to challenge those categories. Apologies.
I'm Trans, and interpreted the usage as how Harvey was using it.
Pin this comment!
I'm gonna sound ignorant, so just chalk it up to English not being my first language; because I don't want to offend anyone and I honestly don't know: what's the difference?
@@spinakker14 "Female" is an adjective, while "woman" is a noun. It's common among misogynists to swap in the word female instead of woman because it makes them sound more "scientific" or something. While trying to be as tactful as possible I think the easiest comparison would be calling someone "a black".
The distinction between "trans people" and "men and women" doesn't really exist because plenty trans people are men or women. Some are both, or neither. We're a fun and occasionally confusing sort. Anyways, drawing a line between the two doesn't really make sense, but transphobic people still do it.
I don't think that either of these usages were meant for harm here, and this comment solidifies that idea for me. But it's something to keep in mind while traveling the internet, when you see someone saying "female" instead of "woman" you may want to watch out for misogyny.
@@onyxtay7246 Oh, I was also confused because of the structuring of the sentence I thought he was talking about one thing (how "female" and "woman" can be used to somehow exclude trans women).
I get how we shouldn't exclude trans people from "men" and "women", but the female vs woman usage distinction is new to me. Thanks for explaining these, I'll try to watch out for these
(btw, my native tongue doesn't use gendered pronouns, so at least people can't intentionally or unintentionally use a pronoun for someone whose preferred pronoun is different. On the downside, trans people and trans rights are basically invisible here)
Steve Harvey also thinks that Asian male masculinity is a joke, so I’d say his hang-ups also go into weird racist areas in addition to the blatant misogyny.
He's an ugly guy who chooses to cling to bigotry. If not for his money, many people wouldn't have considered him much of a "man," either. I guess lots of people think he's funny too. But he's also an asshole. So, I don't know how well he would've fared with women if he didn't have a lot of money.
EDIT: To be clear, I'm not just criticizing him because he's physically unattractive. In most cases, I don't care if another man is physically unattractive. But when they try to deal with it by cutting down other people, then I don't see how it's wrong to point out that their weak sense of self is related to their physical unattractiveness and that they're responding to their weak sense of self by disparaging other people.
@@loki2240 There's no reason to insult the man's appearance. That's just not cool.
Izandai Steve Harveys ugliness comes from things within his control.
@@Izandaia - I didn't just insult his appearance. His unattractive physical appearance plays a role in his sense of self and his behavior. Lots of people aren't particularly physically attractive, but many are also nice people. Harvey is insecure and reacts by being a bigoted jerk - making bigoted comments about Asian men, white people, light-skinned black men, etc. People, who have a secure sense of self and aren't jerks, don't make such comments about groups of people.
He also has a lot of hang ups about atheists and their morality, in addition to his misogynistic, bigoted and small-minded idea. Like, Steve Harvey is kind of a bad person. Not in a lot of unique or especially interesting ways, and he's done nothing illegal (to my knowledge) or especially cruel... He's just kind of unpleasant to be around or listen to.
If i wanted to disapoint multiple people at the same time i would join a basketball team or something
LOL
Jokes on you, that basketball team is also one giant polyamorous relationship.
Lol, truth friend. I dont even wanna upset and dissapoint one person :P
What's the point of polyamory if you can't even form a basketball team with your polycule, join amateur league, get eliminated in the first round and spend the rest of the season playing Magic the gathering in the back of the platform?
@@Tamizushi ive heard that the point of polyamory was to recruit enough partners with the appropriate skills to make a fully functional heist team
"All I gotta do is cut out every emotionally supportive relationship in my life, go off my meds, lose all my safety nets, and turn my entire life ass-over-teakettle..."
I'm sure it's *entirely coincidental* that describes exactly kind of desperately unhappy isolation that makes people most vulnerable to alt-right radicalization.
What a bizarre and interesting co-inky-dink. I for one can’t imagine how that strategy came to be...
And every new member they gain is one they can shove to the bottom of the hierarchy and raise their position in life. And if they're fascist, they see life as a perpetual struggle anyway, so every new member struggling is one that'll perpetuate their power structure
@GoogleJanniesEatPoop you do know that to get most of these hardcore psych meds you need to see a psychiatrist, right? And that these psychiatrists are trained and licensed to do psych evaluations on people to determine if their conditions are actually real and impactful enough to warrant meds, right? (Or you buy them illegally but that’s a different can of worms)
Sure, some people do better without meds. But insinuating that “everyone needs meds cuz of self diagnosed bullshit” because someone made a personal statement that going off their meds is bad for them personally is dumb. What you’re doing is equivalent of someone with diabetes going “ah yeah I need to use insulin to keep my blood sugar regulated cuz of my condition” and you responding with “yknow it’s so telling and funny that the average leftist thinks everyone needs insulin shots...”
@GoogleJanniesEatPoop You did
@GoogleJanniesEatPoop The right can't read.
I personally loved your point about "it's so removed from me that it doesn't even feel like an insult". It's like being insulted by being called purple, you know?
Or somebody calling you George.
"Do you know how many Georges there are!? Who in the hell is George!?"
Assigned married by the alt right
damn. that's accurate
Sounds like the title to a tell all book.
Transrelationship
Actual lol
That is a hot piece of take, and I love it. Well written, beautiful human. 🤜🤛
I've always thought that how a person chooses to insult other people can tell you a lot about their own insecurities.
YUPPP
@Dave The Credible Depends. If someone IS a fascist, it's not an "insult" to call them that, it's an observation.
@Dave The Credible i mean you can be a far-right nationalist authoritarian without necessarily stanning Mussolini. Frankly I think more people in America would be comfortable with fascism if the name didn't have such (deservedly) bad PR.
@Dave The Credible I think the difference is b/w insulting vs calling out. When you call out someone being a fascist you are pointing out that the position they take is unacceptable and you want them to take a position that is good for all people (political opposition). When you insult someone being a cuck you want them to stay a cuck, suffer, and possibly perish (enemy). So you can call someone out to be a fascist, also insult them as being a fascist, the rest of your communication determines the context.
@Dave The Credible I think part of the issue is that we all have a similar baseline understanding of fascism, a baseline that consists of the word "Nazi." But the Nazi regime was huge and took some time to build, so without something approximating a complete understanding, two people could describe the Nazi system very differently. It's identifying those consistent factors that matters, like the combination of a desire to return to a primordial state while consolidating power into a rigid government with a pronounced aesthetic.
But then there's another problem, while what I just mentioned is a telltale sign of a fascist movement, it's not a guarantee. Personally I think Olly from Philosophy Tube got it right when he said it's less important to look for "who is a fascist?" than "who is building fascism?" Since then, even the moderates who simply permit corruption and violence are taken to task for it.
It's existential. They need everyone to "really" want the same thing, because that means everyone's competing over the same things, so "how much things you got?" gives them a quantitative way to know who sucks and who rocks. They would much prefer to suck than to not know what makes a person suck. "What do I get out of this?" is a very threatening question for them, because it implies there might not really be objective standards at all, and that's terrifying. Uncertainty and fear of chaos is 100% the driving force for the right. It characterizes them; Jon Jost's work is all about this.
One time, in high school, they made us do this rock climbing thing in the mountains. Everyone else in my group climbed the whole thing, and I went last. I got halfway up, got stuck, and called down to the belayer that I was ready to come down. He refused to let me: he just kept yelling vague platitudes; "You can do it!" I could not convince him that the issue wasn't that I thought I COULDN'T, but rather that I didn't CARE, so expending the energy wasn't worth it. He just could not wrap his head around this, and he ended up getting really mad and stranding me halfway up the rock face for like ten minutes. I felt like I was going crazy. Like, I kept looking up and thinking "....but there's NOTHING UP THERE."
(By the way, this is why I think failures of empathy among people on the right are motivated rather than them simply not doing it in the first place. Understanding different people means accepting you don't necessarily care about their shit and they don't necessarily care about your shit, and that's way too threatening.)
From a very, very early age I decided that I did not care about the things others were interested in, and I was met with all *SORTS* of incomprehension. Since I've been mostly associating with just the people I care to associate with socially, and the workplace is generally a place of decorum, I haven't thought about this for quite a few years.
This sums up so much of my feelings and suspicions.
The Four Horsemen lol.. weird mistake. Thanks
@@anselmenator by the time I got to my 30s, there was something about the women in my cohort, that were involved with the same fast living "the world is my oyster" circles. They gradually came to look tired and be distracted. In any event, they had become unattractive. The best of these would enter into relationships with what is now commonly called a cuck. Someone willing to overlook the damage and put a premium on romantic notions like faded beauty or sensual wisdom. While most of my peers went on, to either marrying younger women with less baggage, or to continue the single life, albeit within the same age group, 20 to 30 somethings, even as they aged out beyond this.
"Dude, why don't you bulk? It's not that hard. You won't be able to put on muscle mass without it."
"Not everyone wants to put in muscle and get huge... Ryan, you know I'm trans."
"I don't concern myself with the relationship models of people I'm not trying to make out with." Iconic. I'm stealing this for my own use
ooo you wanna kiss me so bad
Yeah but what if they're your kids.
Eh whatever. Let 'em make their own mistakes. Providing you raised 'em right, they won't do anything dangerous.
@@JoshSweetvalehandwringing over the intricacies of your children's relationships is not the same as being a supportive parent
@@ethanj5152 Yes.
"Why would I waste my time arguing with that?"
Put it on a shirt and take my money.
Actually thought that was the worst line of the video...like, dude literally just spent 16 minutes arguing with that...
Like, I'm not a hater and I enjoyed the video...but when that line went up on the screen, I just thought "wtf do you think you have been doing this whole time? lol"
they made shit up about my personal life. I did not argue the details by explaining my actual relationships; I deconstructed the premise for my own audience.
@@Pinkerton000 did you even watch the video?
@@InnuendoStudios I mean, I understand the premise of the video. And again, to clarify, not a hater. I watch and enjoy your content, this video included. Also, I understand that this point is somewhat semantic in nature and wasn't meant as a criticism, but more just something that I found kind of funny...
But deconstructing the premise of someone's position and describing why and how it is flawed is literally arguing against the position, whether or not your current audience holds that position.
@@ramirosilvaalmeida6768 lol, obviously...that line was at the very end
I get called a cuck online until people find out I'm black, then that C turns to an N real quick.
"Nuck" is a racial slur for black people?
@@GammaWALLE give it a minute. It'll catch on.
@@chapablo oh no
I'm so sorry!
@@GammaWALLE short for knuckles the echidna, who we all know is coded as a black man
They are not trying to persuade you to adopt their ideology. They are pointing at you and telling their (potential) followers, ‘Look! Don’t be like him. If you do, we will abuse you as much as we abuse him.’ And it scares them that you can live such a well-adjusted life without their ideology.
Those that privately message you have truly lost their mind to the ideology. There’s nothing tactical. They want to abuse you into their ideology, not persuade you into it.
That's a good point!
This is the old jehovah witness bonding tactic.
They dont go door to door in early mornings to annoy people because that's statistically a good way to convert others, they do it because its annoying and most people will not react well to it, so it creates a sense of community among the ones being ostracized for doing it.
When you tie people's social lives, personal values and coping mechanisms to a discourse that makes society in general see you as other (most times, with good reason), that strengthens the feeling that they can only be truly happy and understood within the community.
Everyone else is trash/infidels/cucks thats why they cant bear your nonsense only we can bear (that we're also conveniently the source and maintainers of).
Nobody wants to abuse you into their ideology, sometimes it’s just fun to point and laugh at the circus 🤡
Laughing contemptuously is healthier when the subject of mockery is more powerful than you, rather than less, however.
@@gamongamesnever really put that together but it makes so much sense for religious groups to say 'hey, go get yelled at by a bunch of randos and then come back to us so we can love bomb you"
“I think a lot about Steve Harvey’s man card.”
This needs to be in an out of context leftist montage. Preferably right now
Alongside Abigail Thorn's "You have done something bad, and you deserve to be punished."
"Racism"
"BOO!"
"Misogyny"
"BOO!"
"Pornography"
"Actually, let's see where this is going."
@JohnnyTheWolf 😂🤣🤣 the comment was funny enough, but this was the cherry on top
+
@JohnnyTheWolf huh?
More like "Yay, pornography but if you admit to consuming pornographic media we'll call you a sad shell of a man that can't get a girl! Or if you're a woman you're a filthy, slutty deviant for consuming it at all (but that's kinda hot tho when we see it in porn)! And we'll shove non binary into whichever category they look like the most because gender is a privilege and we can assign one to you like an asshole!"
@@macmcskullface1004 They do play into the racial stereotypes quite often ... which I'm sure titillates and infuriates their target audiences (White males) as they binge watch it.
The whole "how much do you care about what other people do in thier sex life" being its own part of the fascism-scale is so correct and this basically is the perfect example for it
How to think like Tommy Wiseau: "Anyway, how is your sex life?"
Breaking news: humans for 200,000 years were fascists.
"How does collective mental and spiritual health of society affect u bro?"
@@gallanonim3328 did that strike a nerve?
@@gallanonim3328 also just not what the f-scale means
@@hanswurst-re7df
"Did it strike a nerve?"
Yes it did, because I used to think like you.
This is a weird comment maybe, but thank you for how you presented polyamory; it changed my perspective. I had a past partner try to open our relationship, using increasingly nasty tactics about how monogamy was inherently abusive and objectifying, cheating without prior discussion and getting mad when I was hurt... I mean you can probably imagine. It soured me on the whole issue even though I know intellectually that polyamory shouldn’t be like that and it can be a happy model for some people. Your comments about not ranking the relationship models and not pressuring others hit home for me. Idk, I know you don’t like to talk about more personal stuff, but the way you discussed this helped clarify some stuff that had kind of been eating at me since that relationship, and I appreciate it.
I've seen this a lot and it's really upsetting to me, especially as when I discussed poly with partners past and present they often had more trouble trusting me due to past people who use poly as a scapegoat. I really wish poly was discussed and understood more so that this type of stuff would stop happening to people and they'd have stronger ground from which to stand up for themselves.
@@somad6997 it is totally possible to break down hierarchies and start thinking in a non-hierarchical mindset, it just takes a looot of effort, education and experience. And it's not like we either have a hierarchical mind or we don't, it's a work in progress for self-betterment, and sure sometimes we'll fall back on a forma mentis we've decided to abandon... It's ok. The important part is to recognise the error and try to correct ourselves/do better next time. All of this is to say, yes, sometimes you'll pick favourites, but 1) you can learn to do it far less often, and 2) you can recognise when you're doing it and stop
@@hrodebertcoad9848 I mean, not to be a dick, but asking to sleep with other people when you’re in a monogamous relationship is basically establishing that you would if you could, so why wouldn’t you if you thought you could get away with it?
@@I_can_do_20_push-ups but thats not always what asking to be poly is about you may want to make your pair a triad or open a relationship on a different axis to fulfill a need your current partners have stated they don’t want to touch with a 10 ft pole. or being in a romantic relationship with an acesexual while you go get your rocks off with someone else. while i agree its shitty to spring that question on someone they won’t necessarily cheat on you if you say no. honestly i think most couple should discuss their definitions of monogamy at the start of relationships so that everyone is on the same page about what is cheating. is looking okay is talking about attractiveness okay. is nonsexual intimacy with someone else okay? we are all health adults right who can discuss our relationship without emotionally attacking or blackmailing right? or thinking the worst of our partner without other evidence.
@@lilymercy I can understand the situation if you’re dating at asexual. That’s rough, but again I feel like if you’re not asexual and you’re dating someone who is you need to outline what your needs are going to be upfront. Shit changes though, I get that.
I don’t quite know what “fulfilling a different need” means here. I’m not trying to be obtuse, the meaning of that just isn’t clear to me.
The thing with the triad is I guess just something that I’m skeptical of general. You go from managing one relationship between two people to three relationships between three people. It could also be manipulative though. “Oh we should have a triad with Jim” transitions into “I just feel so much more *comfortable* and *safe* around Jim recently… you understand that, don’t you?” And badda bing badda boom you’ve been finessed.
Having a discussion where you decide what monogamy is upfront is actually a pretty good idea because it would rebuff those freak dudes who think like having an Instagram is cheating and also avoid playing too fast and loose with it.
The absolute worst and lowest moments in my life came from dating a girl who wanted to be in an open relationship to justify cheating on me.
Uhhh... lemme clarify that:
She wanted to break up with me because she had a crush on someone else, but rather than just say that she approached me about being open and went off with the other guy while I was still thinking about it, assuming that I would say yes and that would retroactively justify going behind my back about it.
Anyway, the fear of being cheated on and manipulated? That's stuck with me even to my current relationship. But that's a shitty person doing a shitty thing. Somehow I've managed to have the worst fear of the idiots thrust upon me and still managed to not blame women or polyam people because one person was shitty.
@@TamagotchiSuper You have one duty. Naturally ordained, naturally enforced. Don't try and fight it or you will meet the anger of the GODS ;)
God....s? What religous texts are you reading out of? The Norse gods? Roman? Greek? Zeus was poly.
Something similar happened to me, except I was the one who brought up the idea of her being polyamorous, since she had lead me to believe that I was an asexual abuser, and I thought it was the only way to keep her in my life. It wasn't until later that I found out she had BPD. Thankfully we are not together anymore.
You are a brilliant person to maintain such a clear view of the world while being put through such awful abuse
Should've hurt her so she'll hurt others, let the dammed deal with their own
It occurred to me recently that the right comes up with a new term for "a man who treats women as anything other than subordinate" every few years. Back in 2013-ish they were calling everyone "white-knights", a few years later it was "betas", as mentioned they've been using "cuck" since around 2016, and then in the last year or so suddenly everyone is a "simp".
I've got two theories for why this is, and the truth of it is probably a mix of the two. Firstly, I think it's just a plain ol' case of semantic satiation. These words are essentially right-wing memes, and like all memes they've got a very short lifespan before it stops being funny to the people spreading it and, arguably more important in this instance, before it stops being insulting to the people it's lobbed at.
My second theory is that it's a sort of rebranding, like how the far-right are constantly inventing new labels for themselves as soon as one of them drops the mask too soon. Similarly I think people start adopting new terms for essentially the same idea when people start to catch on how ridiculous the previous one was. E.g. I feel like "beta" being much less common these days is because it's become more widely known that alpha-beta pack structures only occur in captivity, and one too many chuds got told that they're calling themselves a zoo animal.
Good point
I believe the constant rephrasing is to keep having slang that they "own", that they know they are talking with one of their tribe members when they hear it. Once it's mainstream they got a year or so before it's completely diluted and no longer theirs. Kinda also part of meme and viral culture, got to make new variations and see how far they can spread.
Ooo, wonder what the next one is gonna be?
Also if they can get main stream media to use their terms, they see it as winning and being right.
It;s partially that, but it's also that one of their few strategies is to throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Once one thing stops sticking, they need to throw more stuff at the wall. And their insults tend not to stick because they can't see that they are projecting.
Just a few days ago I was thinking how “cuck” seems to have been replaced fully by “simp” in terms of common online insults, and now this appears.
Well, even weirder it is when one gets an explanation of the term when it started and instantly think how stupid people are, using it in a wrong way. SIMP is like one-two puch: you call the insulted guilble, but also call their deciever a mediocore pussy/peen. Telling people that's clealry superior genitalia is pretty fun, at least for me.
Oh god, I've been using simp for like, people who really like fictional characters. Damn
That's the one I'm thinking of! Yes it seems to be the case, which I find weird because it was already used in conversation (particularly in the black community) for ages. This version implies any decent treatment to a woman full stop.
Before that it was NPC
@@thusspoke08 Jack saints rise up :)
So much love for the "you would be DISASTERS" line. Agree entirely. How the hell would people so filled with jealousy, hierarchical thinking in every facet of life, "win-lose" mentality, and possessive inclinations manage multiple relationships without immediately becoming the most angry, frightened version of their already toxic self?
Wow, that's a really good point. If you're a healthy human being, you can actually say, "I need monogamy to feel respected and loved," and expect your partner to respect that. And find it valid to call them on it if they don't. You don't need a system or a community to back your complaint. You don't need absolutes to vilify the action in all cases. You can handle saying you're not comfortable with an open relationship if your partner asks, and if you decide to try it, you can still call your partner(s) out if they disrespect you or your relationship. You can just focus on the emotional betrayal of a romantic partner doing something you agreed not to do. And you can stand firm, even if the other person is like, "Oh, come on! All the cool kids are doing it." Because what anyone else is doing in their relationships isn't the point.
But if your whole identity revolves around being unemotional, stoic, and logical, then you don't have a very good argument against that stuff you don't like other than, "It's bad and evil." If your whole identity revolves around how others see you, especially other men, if all the other men start doing something that makes you uncomfortable, then again, your only argument is "It's bad and evil." If you base your identity on women's willingness to let you dominate them and control their lives, when they just laugh in your face, your only recourse is to demonize the woman and her behavior.
If you have to pretend that you're always "logical" and in control of your emotions, if you can never be sad or hurt about anything other than how liberals are ruining "your" country, then you can't protect your personal emotional boundaries without insisting they're universal.
I may not be polyam, trans, or nb, but seeing someone finally accurately describe the behaviorstyle of the far right is quite illuminating. Thank you for allowing me to be able to see more of their mindset and just how different it is from ours.
Jenny Nicholson has this old video about how the dark side in Star Wars sucks and how there's basically no good reason to join it ever. Everyone is always scared of everyone else, 'cause everybody below you might kill you for your spot in the hierarchy, and everyone above you is scared of YOU for the same reason. And everything you ever achieve just goes up the pyramid directly to the top. And yes, the Jedi have all these rules about keeping your feelings in check, but the only feeling the dark side ever allows itself to have is anger, so they're not even better on that front. Needless to say everything she says (except for the stuff about ghosts and cloning) maps very cleanly onto the alt-right.
RIP to Anakin. He was almost the first pretty Sith lord 😔
I mean, I feel like fascism is inherently unstable because there's no inherent trust. Like, the people who are actually within the fascist movement(not the people the movement hast tricked into supporting it) know that their rhetoric has no basis in reality. They know that the words they're saying have no meaning, and they rely upon that ambiguity to gain support and use it to do things that otherwise would not be able to be done. However, this ambiguity is a double edged sword because among movement members it erodes trust. You know that the party line is a dogwhistle, but what if the guy one tier up of you is giving you a different dogwhistle? The very lack of sincerity that makes fascism a useful vehicle for policy positions makes it unstable as it means it cannot trust itself.
Huh. Almost like the Empire ruled by Palpatine who is the head honcho of the Dark Side is modeled after Nazis or something.
@@drahydra I mean yeah. Sure they are. But many villains are modeled after the Nazis. It's just that many of them aren't modeled *well* And that Star Wars out of all franchises would end up not just portraying the nazi's aesthetic but also their inherent ideological issues in a family film about space wizards, is not a given.
It's Maslow's pyramid scheme; only the group at the top is allowed to live in a society.
You nailed it at the end there: These guys are mortified of having their partners cheat on them, not for fear of broken hearts, but because they somehow think “losing control” of their wives will make them “unmanly”.
@DreamPioneer12777 "[B]e operational (that is commensurable) or disappear" (Lyotard)
I agree but this goes way beyond personal relationships... The cuckservative meme refers to the immigration question. Putting other people over your own.
Doesn't feeling unmanly break hearts for many of those with man identity?
It's literally widespread torture/bulling tactic to make victim do unmanly things or call unmanly names?
16:05. This seems like it might be a good time to point out that in the predominantly racist south, studies have shown that one of their most prolific porn engine searches is "interracial".
The most popular is Ebony I believe. So yeah
@@timesweeper9778 The south is almost half black people. Yeah, shocker.
@@condor2279 you got any links to back that up? Because the numbers i've googled tell a different story.
"He's more scared of brood parasitism than cell phones", GOD what an amazing and funny line!
my favourite part of it is that brooker basically openly admits it in interviews. people ask him what he's most afraid of, because of black mirror, and he regularly is like "how do you know your kids are really yours though?". at least he's honest about it?
To be fair to Brooker, the characters that are most concerned with it are also portrayed as abusive, miserable and pathetic (although, granted, a lot of people seem to miss the point of those episodes), and meanwhile the show has a whole bunch of interracial relationships.
Yeah it’s just kinda funny that he uses it as a framing device so seemingly often
Like even in “be right back” there was a mini-subplot of sexual inferiority and insecurity that seemed really unnecessary? It doesn’t seem like a race thing, the guy the wife cheats with in “the grain” is the same race as the husband.
But it’s too blatant for me to not laugh at things like the concept of getting cucked by your clone after you die lmao
@@PedanticPig yeah, but it's still funny to me how interviewers are obviously expecting "surveillance" or "social credit score" or "AI uprising" or something and then he goes off on "infidelity? hospital baby switch up? SECRET CLONES??? there's so many ways your kids could be not your kids!!" and the interviewer is like, oh, right, i mean, i guess
Basically they still think women are physical property, if not legally then morally
Most want it legally tbf. I've seen plenty of incels who want government mandated girlfriends
This kinda reminds me of how in some certain religious societies marital rape doesn’t exist so to speak (fundamentalist and Muslim). Because they say you consented to sex at any time by saying “I do”.
@@dielfonelletab8711 Lol really? Like how do you even start up a program like that????? These incels think this through or is it as simple as... female slaves? Because if it's just female slaves well then........ That's not going to go down smoothy my guys. Just saying : )
@@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342 Yeah something like that! You've got to remember that not only do incels desperately want women, they also detest them. So having women as slaves is probably the perfect solution for them: they get to punish women while also fulfilling their desires. Pretty sad honestly.
In a Christian ideal, which used to be standard for almost 2k years, both the husband and the wife are each other's property.
As someone who was for a long time in the thought space of these people and drank a lot of that Kool-Aid, I'll give you what my thought process was:
"Yes, destroy all your support structures, relationships and your entire life. Because then you'll be lonely and angry and depressed. Just like me. If I have to feel like a failure for not living up to my ideal of masculinity, then so do you"
Either master the fire or burn with me.
That is remarkably honest. Thanks for that little insight!
Honestly with a lot of alt-right guys, they see women, lgbt+ people, and more left leaning men throw off traditional gender roles and come out happier for it. And when they’re made unhappy by those same systems they don’t seek to join us in letting go of those ideas, they just insist we have to be as miserable as them.
@Diets Land you mean the sharia law that the "Christian" right tries to force on us by insisting America is a Christian nation even though the constitution says the opposite? Or like the colonization that white Europeans did to the entire continent? Or when they decided that California and Texas were theirs now, and deported the Mexicans that had lived there for all of history? Because suddenly their ancestral home didn't belong to them anymore? Crack a history book. I'm much happier around my Mexican coworkers than I've ever been around a right-wingnut.
I might be the exception, but I'm not necessarily happier with being less typically masculine. I'm naturally more traditionally feminine in personality (compassionate, sensitive etc.) and my parents were always very supportive of that. While I do like that side of me and I wouldn't want to totally lose them, I would like having been raised with more positive masculine traits as well like bravery, emotional resilience/regulation, and discipline, because I very much lack those traits, and my life is worse for it.
@@KarlSnarks I think it’s fair to want those traits. As a woman, I often wish that I had better emotional regulation and wasn’t such a massive doormat all the time lol. But I think you can work towards those qualities even if you weren’t raised with them (I have improved in those areas over the past few years with therapy and with time/experience). Yet even so, I don’t think every person needs to/should have every single personality trait that society deems as “positive”-not only would that get contradictory fast, but everyone would be the same and pretty boring! Compassion is a wonderful thing, I’m with my partner now partly because his compassion and gentleness is so relieving and I honestly couldn’t see myself with anyone who lacked that.
@@KarlSnarks you can learn how to live those traits, you know? It takes time and work (and sometimes a good therapist) but it can be done.
@@KarlSnarks It's less about "masculinity bad" and more about "freedom to choose good"
"I cut out every emotionally supportive relationship in my life, and in return I'll get what?"
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
As a monogamous person, I dont necessarily "get" polyamory, but I feel like I'm open minded enough to understand that I dont need to "get" it. If y'all are happy and no one is being hurt, its none of my business what you all are doing.
WE GOT ONE, WE GOT A TOLERANT PERSON THAT DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES PERSONAL LIVES! something something strawman...
Agreed.
I get why its appealing (at least from the way one of my poly friends explained it) the group is sorta like a tool box for eachother. Also some people have more love to give or need more love.
Sorry if that was wrong but it was explained to me like 10 years ago.
@@Byakurenfan I mean yeah, you're all a "team" together in that sense, but a lot can go wrong. I don't know that I could do it.
Here are the poly relationship models I've been in over the past 16 years, from most complex to simplest:
- Family-style orgiastic 6-person poly with the most delicious meals ever. (4 years)
- Triad that all loves each other. (10 years)
- Secondary-sisters to different primaries in which neither of us interacted with each other's primaries. (1 year)
- Just dating one dude who is open to poly and doesn't quite get it, but we mostly just think each other is hot AF so why not. (6 months)
- Single and going on lesbian beach-trips. (In the downtime.)
They've all been valuable moments in my life, and I've grown from all of them. Exploring all the different flavors and meeting so many new people has been wonderful for me. 😊
Why am I polyam? I think it's too much for me to expect one person to be my everything, and be the same back to them. I'm not going to force my movie-lover partner to come to board game night; I'm much happier with him watching a movie with his fellow movie-lover partner, while I rally my other partners for board game night. And then we get to tell each other how everything went! Seeing the two Linux-nerd partners get along so well with something I have no interest in makes me so happy! 😁
Sometimes everyone is equal, sometimes there's a hierarchy, and sometimes it's a jumbled mess. It all depends on how much time one can devote to another.
Ultimately, it's about maximizing the happiness of each other's lives through specialization of our skills, interests, and needs. Each person provides for the rest in their own unique way.
"keep a leash on your woman"?
These people don't even see women as real people, the way they talk. What right do they have to say anything about relationships?
Leash implies they want subservient pets who love them completely unconditionally and are loyal to a fault, without having any really complex thoughts.
This is what we in the biz call “telling on yourself”.
It's called "love" "sexuality" and "subjectivity", things that only exist in transient form which fades with each passing moment to renew itself once again in the next, over and over again, never having stable form. People "reserve their subjectivity by implementing their ends [...] in the course of thus objectifying them" (Hegel), and because in a moral context, so to speak, there is a "content" to "the moral point of view" of subjectivity: and since things are so complicated in people's complex inner life, and because "the [human] will [...] in the determinate condition of immediacy" acts in and of itself devoid of lack in it's egocentric focus of self and self-ownership: and since what is 'property' is the "embodiment of freedom" (ibid.) you have the effect, and I quote, that: "Real men and real nature become [with recognition and interaction within Capitalism] mere predicates-symbols of this hidden, unreal man and of this unreal nature [postulated by the existence of a abstract 'being in itself']. Subject and predicate are therefore related to each other in absolute reversal-a mystical subject-object or a subjectivity alienating itself and returning from alienation into itself, and the subject this process; a pure, incessant revolving within itself [called 'love it or leave it']". (Marx)
Nah. We understand women. A woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect. A woman wants a man that makes her feel secure. That means that the man must not only be respected by her, but other members of society.
So, yes... Keep your woman on a leash. Do it for her.
@@SupurNinja Have you ever even seen a real woman?
@@Silverwind87 Had kids with one, even.
When I was a little boy, my mother often told me that if I didn't kiss the girls my lips would all go moldy.
AWAY HAUL AWAY WE'LL HAUL AWAY JOE
The "reenactment" on the screen confused me and for a second I thought Ian was dating/married to Jameela Jamil.
no I'm dating the parrot
@@InnuendoStudios lol the "Polyamorous Parrot". Nice.
@@InnuendoStudios Set up on twitter, pay off in the video! Excellent cross platform writing!
Hahahahahahaha, samesies
@@InnuendoStudios XDDDDDDDDDDDD
outro music is The Louisville Shuffle (RIP) by Sarah and the Safe Word, btw
I may have been listening to it on a loop since watching this video; it's amazing and thank you for introducing us all to it! ... I shall return to binging their discography now.
Link to save a couple keystrokes: ua-cam.com/video/ROKCrFrL1-s/v-deo.html
Thank you so much for introducing this song to my brain
Whooo! Sarah and the Safe Word!!!
"What's in it for me"
It's a deeply flawed question in a way. Don't care what other people think, not just these assholes, but cancel culture happy left assholes and all sorts of other types of assholes you will find everywhere who will judge you in all sorts of directions. (of course don't be a jerk either)
Well, you probably already know this anyway. I imagine the question is more rhetorical. You are jumping down the rabbit hole of this bizarre logic that many of themselves probably haven't actually thought through, trying to get people to actually think it through and curious where it actually goes.
Thanks for another thoughtful breakdown of bizzarre right wing thinking.
"And in return I get... what?" I come back to this video for that part. This is a great question to ask when your analyzing your world view.
Got an ad after this video. "If you want to know if your man is cheating, use this website." Made me chuckle.
“White supremacy has got them stereotyping black men into being everything toxic masculinity says they should be” *pauses to laugh out loud at the delicious irony*
It makes sense, it’s like a salesman tactic. They create mass inferiority complex for their members so they can easily sell them white supremacy as a way to feel superior.
your comment is delicious
@@arturoaguilar6002 the enemy has to be weak and strong at the same time
It’s dehumanizing to be sexualized in this manner
It's all about creating struggle. Fascism needs struggle to function
Honestly, most arguments that have Steve Harvey as the source can prolly be ignored
Steve Harvey perfectly models how bad guys can rise to power in my mind because I'm a pretty reasonable person and I am well aware of Steve Harvey's abhorrent views on women and stuff but I still kind of like him because he was a good family feud host and his suit line is funny. It turns out for me to get behind an authoritarian all he has to do is put a suit shop in Tampa on my way to work and let me drive by it every day.
Andrew Sheffield He’s too charismatic for his own good
@@Gloomdrake - He's mostly intolerable to me. He generally wasn't that bad, the times I've seen him on Family Feud (outside of fake laughing, especially at his own jokes, and stumbling around to ham it up). But I can't stand to hear him talk on his radio show. He almost always says something bigoted or otherwise stupid.
Vic Berger stuck Steve deep in my brain-but there’s no love in that dark corner, next to Jim Bakker, Paula Deen, and Jeb Bush
Many "church" or "Bible" minded Black folk end up twisted like that.
As someone said in another thread, If Republicans would ease up on the racism ... a whole lot of Black people would be Republicans overnight, because Xtian misogyny/sexism, the subtle and overt homophobia, along with cultural and religious ideals about parenting, marriage and family already have them in agreement.
As a former mental health nurse: please, please, please don't go off your meds.
Interesting video. Lots to think about.
Cant go off them if you're never on them in the first place
You will NEVER make me take meds. You CANNOT make me accept unacceptable situations
It's remarkable how much crap people put up with from psychiatry. SSRIs barely work, waste weeks of your life waiting to see if they worked, have plenty of side effects to bother reasonable people, and cause serious withdrawal symptoms if you quit without a taper. And yet no one gets the torches and pitchforks and demands better. There are better meds we could be giving. Hell, there's OTC shit that's better antidepressants than SSRIs. And people just meekly take it. What the hell?
About the only thing this video misses- which is a shame, because it's fundamental- is that cuckoldry as a concept only makes sense if women are PROPERTY. Which tells you all you need to know about what conservatives think the proper role of women in society is.
Exactly. They don't just view the black man as Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl, they view him as a thief taking their stuff. It's vile.
@@optillian4182 And this does not just apply to far right scum either. I remember seeing a video from Cr1tikal about that whole pathetic Sneako drama and him distinctly using the word "allow" when refering to Sneako not caring that his gf sleeps with other men.
"Allow". As if she is his toy.
While many of them do think of women as property, I don't think this is central to the whole 'cuck' thing. In fact, the strong emotional reaction they have to cuckoldry only makes sense if you think of women as people capable of making their own choices.
Having things stolen from you doesn't necessarily indicate a deficiency in your own masculinity, and the idea of their woman being "taken" is more of rape fetishism (or unwilling NTR) rather than cuckoldry. Yes, there's the implied lack of strength and masculinity inherent in protecting your things and keeping a "leash" on your woman, but I really don't think that's all there is here.
No, what makes cuckoldry so emotionally charged for them is that it implies their woman *prefers* other men to them. They're not good enough for her. They don't measure up and that's why she's sleeping around. It's not really about the woman, it's entirely about how she makes him feel about himself. It's his deep rooted insecurity that he's just not good enough to keep her satisfied that makes cuckoldry so concerning to them.
The existential horror they feel about cuckoldry isn't that another man is sleeping with his woman, it's that she likes sleeping with other men more than she likes sleeping with him.
11:37 They went to the second page?! You must really piss them off because that's way more work than usual.
Second page google is a weird place. I know more people who go to page 3 instead of 2, if they need to switch pages.
Nah. Don't confuse the Sargons and other incredibly lazy hacks trying to make a quick buck out of hate with the true weirdos who really want to dogpile on people. These guys will go to ridiculous extremes in order to ruin the life of someone they hate, and they hate a lot of people.
My dream is to annoy bigots online so much they go to the second page of Google to find dirt on me. It would be an honor
I only have to do that when looking for a rare discontinued product lol.
"Boys, from the bottom of my heart...No You Should Not. You would be D I S A S T E R S." -has to pause video because I'm wheezing- Perfect. Too much truth.
I legit do think that the fastest way to normalize polyamory (or anything, really) is to tell the standard white man that they'd be bad at it and shouldn't even try, like this. I loved the approach. We have Oppositional Defiance Disorder engrained as a gender expectation, basically, so I think it'd work, lol.
@@vazzaroth Trust me, White men are the BEST at polygamy. You just don't see it because we're smart xD
i never realised how much Sargon wished he was Nick Offerman
"They're afraid of polyamory getting normalized, of people they want to date asking them to consent to things they're not comfortable with, and getting shamed as relics of the past if they refuse."
Bingo. And honestly? As a person who's in favour of letting people have their sexuality in whatever way they want, who has polyamorous friends who I respect, who hates these alt-right assholes you're talking about, and who's a fan of yours? I can relate.
I've had very few relationships. I've found dating to be terrible and stressful. I'm in a very happy relationship now, we're likely to get married sometime in the near-ish future, and I trust her deeply. But part of the reason I can trust her is because I know she, like me, has deeply ingrained expectations of monogamy and faithfulness on both parts of the relationship. Marriage and monogamy isn't about "possessing" someone, at least to me: it's about being able to _relax_, knowing that as long as we keep being kind and attentive to each other, we'll work our way through any issues and rough patches that come up. When it comes to marriage, it's about knowing that we'll both put in that effort because _we made vows to each other_ and because _those vows matter_.
You describe polyamory as "just dating", but that's the thing: being in permanent "dating" mode would be a _nightmare scenario_ for me. And although I don't worry about myself or my partner, at least not anymore, I do worry about what will happen to guys who are _like_ me, if polyamory expands beyond its niche and becomes more common. I found it difficult enough to date in the first place. That need for monogamy is something that I feel as strongly about as my _sexual orientation_. Polyamory becoming common would mean someone like me would be taking a _hard pass_ on more and more potential partners, and I can even see them coming to a point where they decide it's not worth even trying anymore. It's a hard balance to strike, since I _don't_ want to shame people who are comfortable in their polycules, but the whole idea behind it is really hard to shake and it makes me very unlikely to come out in support of broad poly acceptance.
I can definitely see how people with a bit less discipline would get suckered in and radicalized by these right-wing commentators.
I don't think he described polyamory as just dating, I'm pretty sure that part of the video was referring specifically to what he was doing at that time. There are married couples who are poly. The idea is that this sentiment, "it's about being able to relax, knowing that as long as we keep being kind and attentive to each other, we'll work our way through any issues and rough patches that come up. When it comes to marriage, it's about knowing that we'll both put in that effort because we made vows to each other and because those vows matter." applies to marriage, not specifically monogamy or polyamory/polygamy.
About your last paragraph, I wonder about that too. I think the preference for mono or poly is mostly inherited culturally, but there might be some sad mono boys and girls in the very far future. I'll just leave it to the very far future to deal with, I don't know if it will even be a problem.
I don't think polyamory would be a majority of people though, like more than 50% of the population. Monogamous people, people who look into their future and really only see one person to share their life with, will be able to partner and couple with other monogomous people, and polyamourous people will be able to get in relationships with other polyamourous people. You'll just have to ask the other person's prefrence. That's it. Same way a straight dude can't really date a lesbian, and vice versa, a monogomous person won't date a polyamourous person, easy and simple as that.
It's scary not being the only thing around, but it doesn't have to be. it doesn't have to be a bad thing. People being free to live without societal judgement is a good thing. You'll(this is a general you'll) adapt. society will change. it doesn't have to be bad.
obligatory apology for how rambley this reply was, hopefullly this helped
Other thing I've seen a lot of this people think and actually do is cheat on their partners because "One woman is not enugh for a macho man", and they see it as normal and natural, while, if their partner cheated on them, it would be the end of the world
The western world is only stable if women are in chains 🤦♀️ pretty sure that is a direct Jordan Peterson quote haha
Dany que estas haciendo comentando vídeos de otros youtubers, vaya a hacer vídeos de como The owl house es propaganda anarquista o algo así ;p
It's the same reason they're fine with tomboys but not effeminate men. A woman "acting like a man" is considered an upgrade, but a man "acting like a woman" is a downgrade.
What I've learned was that they believe "Cheat on them first, so that when they eventually cheat on you, you'd be ahead". It an insecurity and a lack of trust and a mechanism to protect themselves from being hurt.
@@CrasterFamily lol, i feel so sorry for your wife. i'm sure she is happy though....
This is going to be yet another "as a poly person, I'm so grateful you made this" kind of comment, but honestly -- thank you so much for this video.
As a genuine question, what resources would be good for people who are curious about Poly and want to look into information on it.
@@Darkstar1484 There's a book called "More Than Two" A guide to practical Polyamory. You should give it a read.
@@ScavengerFX Thanks for the suggestion, I bought it. I'd be lying if I didn't say this makes me very anxious... but I want to explore that. The comments section on this video are great.
Another genuine question: where do I find other poly people?
@@k.-flynn hang out on Twitter with the right groups?
The way that people choose to insult comes from someones own fears. It’s absolutely a fear of being cheated on. Which says a lot about the security of their relationships.
The Nick Offerman voice was so well done I thought it was actually him talking when it was just general statements.
Just saying, Steve Harvey is a perfect case study for the Black community's huge problem with toxic masculinity. He's not a special case unfortunately
Dudes brain has rotted out lol.
Compared to some others, he’s pretty mild
Hey thanks for pointing that out. From an observational perspective Ive always felt like toxic masculinity (and on the flipside - a terrible image of women) was a somewhat bigger problems in black communities. I honestly wonder why.
@@americantoastman7296
Assignation to nature, primality, hypersexuality, strenght, average bigger cock size; and the genetical determinism that makes a good part of them able to perform that, just like on the contrary asian-typed male bodies exist in the only cultures in which being an effeminate man is less frowned upon.
All this is basically response from western/white-imperialism/supremacy that determines the patriarcal constructs of the previous centuries relatively to non-white bodies and charasterictics hegemonic masculity has assigned to them.
AmericanToastman i think that the worst aspects of general american culture are amplified in black culture because of the ways in which white supremacy has disparaged black neighborhoods and community.
edit: btw im not black, feel free to correct me if im wrong
I've never understood that approach to masculinity. "A true man does whatever he wants! But only if it's activities we approve of". "Go your own way but only if it happens to go in the same direction as ours". So much insecurity and close-mindedness - and hypocrites, all of them.
Isn't that the exact same approach that many people (and probably a lot of the same people) also has to "think for yourself"?
"Think for yourself! Research it! Make up your own mind! No, not like that!"
@@oskarhenriksen Never thought of it that way but you're absolutely right.
It's exhausting! "Men play by their own rules! But they will gleefully ostracize other men who do so!"
When I hear about somebody being happy in a situation that wouldn't work for me I think "freedom, baby."
I very much appreciate the simplicity of the 'that's Ed' joke, makes me giggle every time. I also very much appreciate how slowly and clearly Ian talks, to the point where I couldn't really notice any mistakes in the auto captions, which is an extremely rare occurrence, so thanks dude.
“I’ve never been married.”
Icing on the CAKE
"(...) insulting me as a form of self-talk and in-group solidarity."
Soo.... virtue signalling.
The Four Horsemen 90% of right-wing rhetoric is projection. The other 10% is rage-induced delirium.
Like I always say, if there's ever a housing shortage, it's good to know you can live rent-free in their heads.
"Ah, that place where the cerebrum would otherwise be...Great place for a futon."
This was probably intentional but I love how he ends the 17 minute video stating “Why would I waste my time arguing with that “
Don't let conservatives discover harem anime.
:3
Imagine them discovering "reverse" harem anime
Too late; they already get off on it.
why do you think so many of them use anime avatars 👁️
That's the thing, they do. You'll get piled on if you say anything bad about it and, yes, it's very contradictory.
I hate to break it to you, most harem anime comes from Japan's pretty conservative culture already: Almost always one guy and a bunch of girls.
Not to say there aren't harem anime that characterize healthy relationships, but that it has its own conservative norms to consider.
7:45
So, I noticed that on the right everything has to be either banned or mandatory. I want to live in a free society where everyone can choose their own lifestyle. I want to allow rightwingers to LARP being in the middle ages if they want to, even if I don't like it. But no, if they don't like something, that has to be banned, if they like something, that has to be mandatory. They don't accept "it is allowed" or "it is optional".
Research suggests that tolerance of ambiguity, in general, is something right wingers have trouble with. This sounds like it could be a specific case of that.
The problem with that is, that most right-wingers (at least those that still think they are centrist, even though they only are because they have been pushing the Overton window to the right since 1975) would claim the same:
You can keep your rainbow flag (as long as it's in LA, or in Canada, or so), just don't you dare take away their Southern Pride Flag. They don't care if you are some poor libtard cuck, they just want to keep their women under their thumb and not be called "sexist", and to be able to make some jokes at work and show some affection to their female employees and not be fired for trumped up PC bullshit. They don't require you to use the n-word, they just want to use it without being "cancelled". Nobody has to come to a proper cross-burning and lynching, but why do you have to go and spoil the fun for those who like to. Environmental, work safety, or hygiene regulations during a pandemic are tyranny, is this Soviet Russia, isn't a man entitled to the sweat of his brow?
Nobody feels more constricted and oppressed by leftwing PC cancel culture than the right. Trump is running on being the victim of the left.
I think it is high time to move away from the whole argument about who has the better debate manners, and instead focus on what kind of world each sides wants to build. Fighting for substance, for political change on climate change, crony capitalism, police violence, wealth inequality, health care, etc. is a much clearer thing. There are those on your side and those whose opposition unmasks them as monsters, and as for those, frankly, who cares what they feel?
(And I am not saying, don't debate people - on SUBSTANCE. But let's not all get dragged down with etiquette... against Nazis...)
@@orvilpym Just to add context to my original comment: I was specifically thinking about lawmaking when I wrote it.
Right wingers just love to Larp that they are liberals who dont care about what other people do. Yet they oppose gay marriage, civil rights, LGBTQ rights, womens suffrage etc.
@@orvilpym Dude, what an awesome encapsulation. Thank you for this.
"what a minority wants but the majority will tolerate" this is so true, being apparently the only Hentia consumer with zero tolerance for scenes of a girl randomly urinating for no reason, this issue bugs me quite a bit.
OH MAN.
I mean, I've come to terms with it, I've been a lil pissy boi, but yeah, can Hietna not do that anymore?
I recently went through a breakup caused in part by my partner wanting to be poly. I tried, but I found out I didn't have that kind of emotional capacity and there's still a lot of insecurities I would have had to let go of to make it work, and I'm not ready for that yet.
I didn't feel comfortable forcing a poly person to be monogamous, so we had to part ways.
Both of these things are valid, it's a matter of what you feel you can do. I think there's no shame in being poly, it shows that your thinking is less organized around tradition, maybe you feel more secure, maybe less, who knows. Poly is just another type of thing to be, just like mono. There's no shame in being mono, it just means you might prefer a more one-to-one type of relationship.
Don't shit on people for no reason
My monogamy is not really a testament to my husband's manhood. I just prefer to not deal with a bunch of people. I have a lot of responsibility and trying to take care of a child, disabilities, and be a wife is hard enough without having to take on the responsibility of maintaining other romantic relationships. In other words I have no spoons left and I need a nap.
Couldn't other romantic relationships make life easier by sharing responsibilities?
Do you have friendships outside of your marriage? Polyamory can be nearly indistinguishable from just having close friends.
@@downsjmmyjones101 no I don't. Even if they do house work they make more house work and they require attention and love. I don't have the time or energy for it. Not only that I am on immunosuppressants so they are more of a risk to me than a help.
@@rn2787 Just because someone would also make more responsibilities doesn't mean that they would be able to significantly lighten the load on someone else. Just like how your husband makes more responsibilities, he also shares them and makes your life easier.
Since you don't have any friends, your husband manages to provide all the support you need?
@@downsjmmyjones101 he doesn't make life easier as a whole. Relationships are work while there are benefits it's also a lot of strain on me trying to make everything work. Just making plans with my family requires actual work. I have to make sure nobody is sick and make sure everyone they talk to or hang out with hasn't been sick for weeks. I can't be around people who work with the public. Illnesses like the common cold land me in the hospital and covid might actually kill me if I got it. I was in the hospital three times last year once for a cold and twice for the flu because my child was in public school and I got the dead vaccine. I really literally can't be around people because of my immunosuppressant and I can't go without my medications without causing permanent damage to my body. I have one close friend and I live over two hours away and I see her maybe four times a year and never during cold or flu season. I only see my family on holidays and maybe once or twice on a non-holiday. My husband started working from home two months before quarantine because of the risk. He doesn't even work with the public, but his coworkers were too much of a risk especially since they do international business and travel constantly. Not only that, but I am exhausted and in pain from normal activities.
@@rn2787 I'm not arguing that it isn't hard. Clearly relationships are worth it considering you have them. So why wouldn't others be similar to the one you have with your husband? Why wouldn't others be worth having?
As a poly person, this is the most validating video I've seen in a while.
You are a legend.
Same. For some reason, seeing other poly people living their best lives makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
@@downsjmmyjones101 Same here
Echoes for me.
Watch Kat Blaque as well! She’s a polyamorous Black trans woman, and her poly content is great
Seconded
"Am I supposed to believe they're happier than me?"
If you laugh the whole world laughs with you, if you cry you cry alone... if youre happy you dont question your life choices too much or compare hapiness
It's almost like their desire to justify the hierarchies that they're a part of make them really fragile when presented with something alternative.
I've again managed to get into the comment section before the first conservative comes in to cry "strawman" and then immediately runs away.
Under da sea! Under da sea! Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!
This pretty much hits the nail on the head. I am very monogamous. Whenever polyamory is brought up I can't help but imagine it as him/her ranking their partners "They have to have a favorite". That would make my insecurity flare up like a light show
It'd be like ranking your kids. You love them all equally even if some are more or less like you than another.
For me, I havent had a poly based relationship (mainly because I haven t had a partner that wanted one). And I don't care if others do, or if I ever have one. Because we are who we are. And as long as all involved are ok with it, then it is fine.
@@downsjmmyjones101 some parents legit not only have a favourite, but have no issues letting everyone know. Yes, it is very shitty parenting, but it still happens too often. I can see why people who are used to that sort of dynamic at the least can't imagine being equally loving to several people
@@Call-me-Al I don't know if it's shitty parenting. I guess it might depend on what "having a favorite" means. For instance, my younger brother has been taking advantage of my mother's and father's good will. He is clearly not their favorite and for good reason.
@@downsjmmyjones101 taking advantage and parents being not happy about it is kind of natural consequence. I more of meant where they never were harmed by any of their children, but they still make sure the kids understand that if there was a fire, this is the order they would grab the kids in and it won't be the understandable youngest first (the least capable of getting out themselves order). The kind of parents who if the favourite child died, they would go "why couldn't it have been you instead!"
I love how he kind of breaks into tiny laughter when he says “polyamory is good because sometimes it’s alpha” like the pure silliness broke him and I love it.
13:10 the sheer spite in the delivery of "your respect?" gives me life
IM DYING WITH LAUGHTER!!!
“... Boys, from the bottom of my heart... No You Should Not. You would be DISASTERS”
It’s so true too, no one wants them to even try being poly. Whenever they try to force it, because they’ve got a bisexual girlfriend and they think the IDEA of a three-way relationship is sooo wonderful for them, it always ends in jealousy and their fragile egos being smashed.
I find these types of relationships always end with a lesbian couple and a lonely dude lol
Wow you’re so cool for f*cking around. a true hero
So basically you think people are insecure for not wanting to feel left out or getting cheated on.
It is EXTREMELY funny when hetero men try to get their partners to consent to a threeway and then, almost universally, get really upset because it turns out that they generally suck at making their female partners feel good and actually it's probably going to end up with the girlfriend dumping her boyfriend because she realises that holy FUCK is she undervalued.
Like, it's not generally going to end up with the two women dating, but it very very often results in the couple breaking up because the kind of man who coerces his female partner into a multiple sex situation she isn't super-into is probably also not great at sex for anyone other than himself and she is very likely to finally realise just how true that is via active, direct comparison. It just leads to her going "hmm, wow I'm really not being treated great in ANY aspect of this relationship, huh? Probably want to think about whether I want to keep being in it tbh."
"I don't argue with strangers on the internet, if you want a debate either become my friend or come meet me in person"
-me
@Russ Olson Word.
@Russ Olson I feel like you can keep using what strategies work for you, but I'd caution that there's additional danger not in them calling you, but using that information to dox you or otherwise be creepy. Stay safe, friend.
Hey so uh... can I be you?
@@americantoastman7296 only if you kill me first
@Russ Olson If you don't know Jesse Dollemore, you might enjoy his channel. He's a vet too who claps back at salt right stupidity. Watched him on and off for years. He seems like a good enough guy : )
this font is nice, makes me feel at home
There is a segment of the population who worships strength, to the point where all virtues are *defined* as "strength." They are deathly afraid of moving down any socially-recognized hierarchy, and you (Ian) just being yourself and happy *theoretically* threaten that. Just the theoretical threat is enough.
...y'know, somehow I completely missed the connection between the pattern of black men's bodies being hypersexualized (see e.g. goddamn Cards Against Humanity), the "they'll take your women" scaremongering, and the whole cuck thing. I learned something awful today and I'm a little sad but the world makes more sense.
Also the point about "what a vocal minority wants and the majority will put up with" is a good one - that applies to a lot of media.
You're not the only one that missed it. I'm in that same boat.
Snap. I was like: Oh, that's why they keep using that word...
Keep looking for that one, it's's been one of the most consistent brain bugs regarding race and masculinity mythology, which are very tightly interrelated.
Back in the day, the ancient Greek types felt that a man swinging too much pipe was a sign of an unenlightened spirit, so statues of heroic figures often had smaller junks. That small hog was evidence of them being ruled more by the Logos than the Eros. Facts don't care about your Phallus, Socratic style. The alternative was to be more animal, less human, like the other peoples or like the half human Satyrs and such. Hmm, less human, more bestial... Where's that sound familiar?
That bundle of memes kept stuck in the ""Western"" mindset for the next few thousand years, but along the way a desire to also uplift the brutish man of action rose, and with him rose his massive dong, because of course if he had a small junk there's no way he can be a man of virile physicality.
So that meme cycle just repeats and reiterates man/beast dualities and wraps it up in social sexual insecurities and anxieties, which is one of the deepest and most motivating anxieties. The next worst anxiety is fear of the out-group overcoming your group, and boy howdy does that get supercharged when you can mix the two and slap a racist heuristic model on top of that.
Dealing with the right is often like being a shrink mistakenly presumed to accept payment in insults and the airing of personal trauma.
I lost it when you said "I hear the preferred term is simp so I'll have to update my stationary" you were right on Twitter this is your funniest one
The timing of this video with events in my life was perfect. You really helped man, thanks.
Every single video this man makes opens up my mind a bit and I love every second
Almost all hate groups share one common factor: misogyny. It’s the first step you have to trip down to start hating others. Hate groups use extreme language about “our women” and “our children” being threatened to create fear and outrage - not for their safety, but for the lost dignity and ‘honor’ of in-group men. From there, critical thinking and other higher functions *literally shut down in the brain* and you can lead any fool by the nose to do whatever and hurt whoever you want.
Samuel R. Delany argues that misogyny is the OLDEST oppression and is therefore the model on which all other oppressions are based.
@@InnuendoStudios It's also, err, hmm, a good pick? Like, if you're picking *one group* to push down on, then women are a good pick!
- Women are near as half the population. Which means that the uplifted group (Eg: Men) beenfits more, because the bigger the surpressed group, the more surplus can be appropriated from them.
- Women are (rule of thumb) physically distinct from not women (especially if you start enforcing sexist cultural norms vis a vis dress etc.) So you know who the surpressed and the uplifted groups are easily.
- Women are inherent to humanity/society, which means they'll *always be there to be surpressed.*
terfs, swerfs, and radfems oh and honestly allot the right in general tend to stereotype all men as one thing and than get pissed off when someone calls them out on it
dont get me wrong allot of hategroups do have misogynistic tendencies and hell both terfs and swerfs particularly hate women and transwomen
i think all hate groups share one thing in common: hatred of the different, of the outside
@@InnuendoStudios Rojavan Feminist thinking leans into this hard
@@InnuendoStudios stop using right and alt right interchangeably, not everyone in the right is a cuck or a sexist, it’s very dishonest to say that.
So I've gotta admit -- the part where Ian talked about men being terrified of polyamory because they couldn't "control" their partners, and that they would lose them if that "control" was lost?
I felt that. Which is why I think and thought polyamory wasn't for me. But now this video rather got me thinking that maybe I should address this fear with therapy instead of just thinking polyamory isn't for me.
I mean, it still might not be for me, but me dealing with my insecurities can't be a bad thing.
How much do you think your partner thinks about controlling you?
I've felt the same way and was already aware of my insecurities
Holy shit dude, that’s some fantastic self reflection. I wish you luck going forward.
I wish you all the luck
@@dongvermine that's an interesting question. I'm single at time of typing this, but my last relationship ended (cordially, I might add and I still have a good friendship with my ex) because she is poly, and realised her way of life wasn't compatible with mine, or at the very least not compatible with my insecurities. Long story short, she was very aware of how much I was hurting when she was away with her other partners, and while she absolutely didn't want me to be miserable, she also couldn't be someone she was not -- meaning she couldn't be who I needed, and I couldn't be that person for her either. So we broke it off.
That... might not be an answer to your question, I realise.
Still one of my favorites on your channel.
When I first watched it, I had been examining my own masculinity and the toxic aspects of it for a while.
And it put one of the final nails in the coffin.
I have accepted myself as polyamorous now.
And god damn am I glad I have.
I'd just like to add myself to the long line of folks appreciating you being calmly and confidently poly. Thank you ❤️
I know other people are saying it, but as a polyam (and, incidentally, trans and nb) person, it's just so refreshing to hear about people like me.
Polygon
Hey 👋 Just curious. Wouldn't being trans and non-binary contradict itself since you need a binary distinction between genders to transition into the other? 🤔
Even as a cookie cutter stereotype of a white man I find that there are no other people like myself.
@@Rokfreakx Nonbinary people generally fall under the trans umbrella insofar as being trans is defined as being a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth (it doesn't strictly have anything to do with transition), and being assigned nonbinary at birth isn't really a thing, at least as far as I'm aware. That said, there are some individual nonbinary people who don't also identify as trans for one reason or another.
@@Cae_the_Kitsune Australia these days does have a third gender on birth certificates, for intersex children :)
As an anime fan, I want to say that having the recommended videos on the alt right video all be anime pics was masterful. I hate what my community has become in the eyes of so many. Please keep fighting the good fight.
a lot of anime fans kind of lean towards the right unfortunately
@@kobemop Only among the most vocal and visible anime fans. Anybody who's ever been to an anime convention can tell you that those guys are very much the minority lol
THEY'RE JUST SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS. And it only takes a few to ruin it for everybody.
@@ValkyrieTiara Agreed, Neo-reactionaries of right wing ilk always hijack and ruin anime and anime communities and it's exasperating that they continue to spread toxic hate in the series and fandom's that I love.
@@kobemop I can't help but wonder, do they actually pay attention to the plot of all that anime they watch, or do they only watch them for the flashy fights?
@@azazel166 Many of them are surprisingly good enough to understand the stories, but their superiority complex also makes them much more like a bunch of irredeemable bastards which kinda affected by how niche the anime that they watched so they can avoid being percieved as a normies by people.
I love it! That bit at the end where you point out that you're not married!
You didn't mention if any of your partners are married (and I'm not asking), but I had a brief vision of Walter White shouting:
"You think think of me? I AM THE ONE WHO CUCKS!"
Goddamn, dude. This video was like a pipe-bomb with an 11 minute fuse that blows up into words "No u, i'm happy".
By no means a criticism, I genuinely enjoyed this.
I don't think that using Nick Offerman as a stand-in for the internet beardos is very fair, to Nick Offerman. He's talented and successful and they never will be.
To be fair, the alt right and internet beardos just about always hold up the character of Ron Swanson as an exemplar of "Man at his most Man" so the comparison fits pretty well.
He’s also out here frequently saying black trans lives matter, and many other things that would make him a vile “sjw” to internet beardos as well.
And even as a manly-man who likes manly things, he and his wife do not seem to be very caught up in traditional marriage or gender roles.
Yeah, legit, Nick Offerman is like the perfect example of "manly" masculinity without toxicity. He like woodworking and nature and loves people because that's wholesome. His character on Parks and Rec is a satire that he delivers with a prefect dry humor.
@@AndrewThibeault, unfortunately I think his character in P&R ended up being a lot of lampshading mixed with "lovable sitcom misogynist (or libertarian)."
I do think his character did have some genuinely good moments that criticazed his ideology, but overall he mostly ended up on the "winning" side of arguments. The Jack to Leslie's Liz Lemon.
"Sometimes a cigar is just a metaphor for obsession with other peoples genitals." - Sigma Fraud
The first sigma male…
Sigmaballs
I used to be polyamourous and became monogamous with a particular partner. I used to believe we're wired a certain way but like sexuality, sometimes it can be fluid, and both ways are valid.
As someone who recently discovered she's polyam I found this video not only informative and entertaining like all your others, but also really comforting. It's nice to see real polyamorous people existing, especially because they can be hard to find in real life.
@Victorian Era Vampire GF she’s poly while not even one person loves you, cringe imo
The words "Steve Harvey" and "thinks" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His thinking barometer is broken
Well, he is still a human being and is capable of thinking (very low bar, indeed). I know you're just insulting him but though cathartic, insults get you nowhere.
... They do get you likes, so maybe mission accomplished?
Look, I'm not defending the guy or validating his garbage take on life, race, masculinity and/or women. I just think that being mean on the internet is not helpful for anybody.
@@diegodoumecq5144 If you seriously come to the same conclusions as Steve Harvey, you at least haven't thought too deeply.
@@diegodoumecq5144 this is why people say we are boring
@@fowlae4414 uh, what? I'm not taking Harvey's side
"But as Khloe acquires a taste for black man, will things go too far?". Who could possibly forget singular "black man" and everything he does for his partner? I could barely contain myself while writing that quote.
well it is his name, after all
“black man,” a symbol of virility the world over
Oh my giddy aunt I lost it at the Worms voice clip!!!
I remember getting called a cuck when I entertained the idea of dating a single mom a few years ago. I'm at the age where it's sorta inevitable, and lots of rural areas sadly families start very young.
It's not like she had four kids from three dads or something messed up, just one from a guy that lied about his marital status and she called it off.
Cuck has been the goto turn for them to use to make other guys feel bad.
OH! Also wanted to add, I've known white dudes were very hostile towards me as a young adult, especially around their girlfriends. I've always had this suspicion and every white guy I talked to laughed it off, but yet I catch them complaining if their wife or girlfriend even looks at a darker skin person. But the fact that they make porn of it? HA!
Perhaps subconsciously, I have been guilty of harbouring the stereotypes you called out here. I'm glad to have been given the opportunity to address that about myself.
Same here.
Paleolarping is the funniest thing I've ever heard
As soon as someone goes on about a "man card" I immediately hear "my masculinity requires external validation."
do appreciate you toning down the parasocial stuff now that you mention it, think of your channel more as a textbook than anything. Its nice