OMG my name change was definitely the hardest part of my transition for my folks too. The difference being that I legally changed my name almost 2 yrs prior to starting hormones. The only advice I can offer is to be as patient & compassionate as you can! Hopefully your calm, rational actions will prove your point over time. It doesn't work for every family tho. My parents made major progress once I'd been on T for a year+ & they saw how much happier I was.
This hits pretty close to home for me, too. What I did, and my mother before me, when parents became abusive like that(and YES, what your dad did was emotionally and verbally abusive) is to cut them off. Don't answer the phone, or if you do, excuse yourself once the conversation turns ugly. I didn't speak to my dad for the longest time, because I couldn't afford to let him hurt me to the point I couldn't live my life.
i subscribed to your channel a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't have time to watch all your videos but i've just noticed one picture of you with the Polish flag in the background. I assume that you have Polish ancestors:) I'm half Polish half German (currently living in Poland) so it's so cool to know that cos you are one of my favourites youtubers:) I pretty much identify with you, I want to become a doctor in the future, i think i'm queer but not sure if im transgender.I love your vids!!
@Blackwidina I wish I could do this. I'm even having trouble right now because they were supposed to come visit me this weekend, but I haven't spoken to them since that conversation. And now I am faced with some serious financial issues, and I know that they would construe asking for help as a sign that I am submitting in some way or that they still have as much control over my life as they want to believe they do. But many people have made this point. And you're all right. I can't let it happen
@Popeslave i'm working on it. i just thought of something. it might be so difficult now because the physical changes are happening so rapidly, but the changes that you are hoping your family goes through on their way to accepting you are not. you want those changes to be happening just as quickly. i'm learning now how it is that I have come to be such a patient person, though lol. it's good to hear that people have gotten past similar situations. it gives me a bit of hope for my family :)
@theryanJ23 no problem. every time someone leaves a comment or subscribes and anytime i do the same thing, i feel much less alone. i like knowing that there is an entire community right here on youtube of people just like me. it helps you to realize that you aren't crazy and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you as a person. we're all in this together, in my opinion. we have to get our help from each other at times because our families won't have anything to do with it. take care, man
@Blackwidina I think they know that it exists, but I am not sure if they have seen it themselves or have just been listening to the gossip that gets around via random relatives. I know my dad has seen how happy this is making me, but I think that both of my parents are unwilling to see it at times. They're very good at denial and making it seem like this is all about them. I think I've made it pretty obvious, and it baffles me that they can be so closed-minded and selfish at times.
@sophie8977 yep. I'm about 90 percent Polish. My mom is 100%, and my dad is about 75%, if I recall correctly. There's a very strong Catholic element in my family as well, which is making for some not-so-productive conversations lol. And I think it's awesome that there are other LGBTQ people who want to enter into medicine. It's the best way for us to get what we need from the health care system: to have representation within it. Thnx so much for watching. "Stay positive and love your life." -311
@AdamALyons90 that's where I'm at right now. they always throw that in there when they can, and I haven't actually sent this to them, but I am hoping that they come across it somehow. I'm hoping that someone else who watches this can get through to them. i just think it's become clear that my word is not good enough for them. but if they don't believe me and they don't believe experts on the matter, there's not much progress that can be made.
@PITTdylanCREW I'm sure you are. :) There is a fine line between compassion & putting up with so much blatant disrespect. You kind of go as far as you can & hope that they catch up.
You parents should love you unconditionally, whether you are a boy or a girl. If they don't, then f*ck them. They will wake up one morning and realize that they do not know their own child and it is all their fault. You should not be someone who you are not, just for the convience of others. It is your life to live. They may have given you the gift of life, but when someone gives you a gift, they do not tell you what to do with that gift. So why shouldn't your gift of life be the same?
On a side note, do your parents know about this channel? Because even I, as a complete stranger, with almost no experience with trans people, have seen the amazing difference over the last eight months. YOU LOOK HAPPY. You seem actually COMFORTABLE with yourself. And that's supposed to be what parents want for their kids, right? I just wonder if they'd be able to see it, too.
OMG my name change was definitely the hardest part of my transition for my folks too. The difference being that I legally changed my name almost 2 yrs prior to starting hormones. The only advice I can offer is to be as patient & compassionate as you can! Hopefully your calm, rational actions will prove your point over time. It doesn't work for every family tho. My parents made major progress once I'd been on T for a year+ & they saw how much happier I was.
This hits pretty close to home for me, too. What I did, and my mother before me, when parents became abusive like that(and YES, what your dad did was emotionally and verbally abusive) is to cut them off. Don't answer the phone, or if you do, excuse yourself once the conversation turns ugly. I didn't speak to my dad for the longest time, because I couldn't afford to let him hurt me to the point I couldn't live my life.
i subscribed to your channel a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't have time to watch all your videos but i've just noticed one picture of you with the Polish flag in the background. I assume that you have Polish ancestors:) I'm half Polish half German (currently living in Poland) so it's so cool to know that cos you are one of my favourites youtubers:) I pretty much identify with you, I want to become a doctor in the future, i think i'm queer but not sure if im transgender.I love your vids!!
@Blackwidina I wish I could do this. I'm even having trouble right now because they were supposed to come visit me this weekend, but I haven't spoken to them since that conversation. And now I am faced with some serious financial issues, and I know that they would construe asking for help as a sign that I am submitting in some way or that they still have as much control over my life as they want to believe they do. But many people have made this point. And you're all right. I can't let it happen
@Popeslave i'm working on it. i just thought of something. it might be so difficult now because the physical changes are happening so rapidly, but the changes that you are hoping your family goes through on their way to accepting you are not. you want those changes to be happening just as quickly. i'm learning now how it is that I have come to be such a patient person, though lol. it's good to hear that people have gotten past similar situations. it gives me a bit of hope for my family :)
@theryanJ23 no problem. every time someone leaves a comment or subscribes and anytime i do the same thing, i feel much less alone. i like knowing that there is an entire community right here on youtube of people just like me. it helps you to realize that you aren't crazy and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you as a person. we're all in this together, in my opinion. we have to get our help from each other at times because our families won't have anything to do with it. take care, man
"I deserve to be happy" -- YES.
@Blackwidina I think they know that it exists, but I am not sure if they have seen it themselves or have just been listening to the gossip that gets around via random relatives. I know my dad has seen how happy this is making me, but I think that both of my parents are unwilling to see it at times. They're very good at denial and making it seem like this is all about them. I think I've made it pretty obvious, and it baffles me that they can be so closed-minded and selfish at times.
@sophie8977 yep. I'm about 90 percent Polish. My mom is 100%, and my dad is about 75%, if I recall correctly. There's a very strong Catholic element in my family as well, which is making for some not-so-productive conversations lol. And I think it's awesome that there are other LGBTQ people who want to enter into medicine. It's the best way for us to get what we need from the health care system: to have representation within it. Thnx so much for watching. "Stay positive and love your life." -311
@AdamALyons90 that's where I'm at right now. they always throw that in there when they can, and I haven't actually sent this to them, but I am hoping that they come across it somehow. I'm hoping that someone else who watches this can get through to them. i just think it's become clear that my word is not good enough for them. but if they don't believe me and they don't believe experts on the matter, there's not much progress that can be made.
@PITTdylanCREW I'm sure you are. :) There is a fine line between compassion & putting up with so much blatant disrespect. You kind of go as far as you can & hope that they catch up.
You parents should love you unconditionally, whether you are a boy or a girl. If they don't, then f*ck them. They will wake up one morning and realize that they do not know their own child and it is all their fault.
You should not be someone who you are not, just for the convience of others. It is your life to live. They may have given you the gift of life, but when someone gives you a gift, they do not tell you what to do with that gift. So why shouldn't your gift of life be the same?
On a side note, do your parents know about this channel? Because even I, as a complete stranger, with almost no experience with trans people, have seen the amazing difference over the last eight months. YOU LOOK HAPPY. You seem actually COMFORTABLE with yourself. And that's supposed to be what parents want for their kids, right? I just wonder if they'd be able to see it, too.