The Gift of Shame: Unexpected Blessings (Ep34) @thedailyspeakingtree

151 + Once, when I was in the kitchen with Sister N., 47 she got a
little upset with me and, as a punishment, ordered me to sit on the
table while she herself continued to work hard, cleaning and
scrubbing. And while I was sitting there, the sisters came along and
were astounded to find me sitting on the table, and each one had her
say. One said that I was a loafer and another, “What an eccentric!” I
was a postulant at the time. Others said, “What kind of a sister will
she make?” Still, I could not get down because sister had ordered me
to sit there by virtue of obedience 48 until she told me to get down.
Truly, God alone knows how many acts of self-denial it took. I
thought I’d die of shame. God often allowed such things for the sake
of my inner formation, but He compensated me for this humiliation
by a great consolation. During Benediction I saw Him in great
beauty. Jesus looked at me kindly and said, My daughter, do not be
afraid of sufferings; I am with you.
Once, I had night duty, 49 and I was suffering greatly in spirit
because of the painting of the image, and I no longer knew which
way to turn because they were constantly trying to convince me that
the whole thing was an illusion. On the other hand, one priest said
that perhaps god wanted to be worshiped through this image and
therefore I ought to try to get it painted. Meanwhile, my soul was
becoming extremely exhausted. When I entered the little chapel, I
brought my head close to the tabernacle, knocked (73) and said,
“Jesus, look at the great difficulties I am having because of the
painting of this image.” And I heard a voice from the tabernacle, My
daughter, your sufferings will not last much longer.
153 One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and
flow3ers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked
along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end
without realizing it. And at the end of the road there was a horrible
precipice; that is, the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as
they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was
impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a
path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the
people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of
suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up
immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a
magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these
souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their
sufferings
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