i like to explain my motivation for cutting as triggering a fight or flight mechanism to force my brain to pay attention to the new and sudden physical injury rather than continuing to insist that im in life threatening emotional pain which i can't manage to get out of despite my brain constantly telling me that i desperately need to escape.
Here's a story. I cut 7 yrs and noone knew but me n another. One day I just stopped n threw the stuff away n used rubber bands for awhile. Until the person asked why did I stop. Told them nothing I ever did ever took the pain away so u accept it. Thats when u stop when u learn to accept.
Thanks for sharing so candidly Emily, I understood it clearly. I wish nothing but peace and healing to you. May your body learn to feel safe in this world, with people that love you and embrace you with acceptance and kindness. Btw, I found this freedom when connecting spiritually with God (Jesus), sharing with you in case you're interested. ❤
Im a young girl that wishes to work in mental health care when she grows up. I will save a life before i die. Mark my words. I dont care how much studying or emotional labor i have to do. I will help someone and i will take care of myself as i do it. Even if just one person. my life WILL have meaning.
It’s a release for the pain inside of you. When you have so much overwhelming pain inside of yourself and it feels like nothing around you is strong enough to make you feel better, you harm for a release. There’s a thing of “transferring” the pain too. When you see the infliction it’s like what inside has “gone where ever you harmed.” Also releasing frustration, anger etc. “Better” to take it out on yourself than on others, especially when you can’t verbalise everything. And yes a cry for help is big too, because deep inside the person wants help. They really don’t want to harm themselves but they feel like they have no other choice.
Exactly! I remember when I was a teenager and I got bullied because I had OCD. I got bullied in front of my friend and I felt like he was ashamed of me I front of the person that bullied me. Also I didn’t get help from my parents cause they didn’t understand me. Nobody knew how I felt. One day my little brother annoyed me so much that I wanted to hit him on the upper arm, but just as I swung my arm he bowed down and I hit him very hard in the back of the head. He cried for more than 30 minutes holding his head telling me to call an ambulance. I got so afraid that I had given him an internal bleeding. I got so mad at myself that I wanted to punish myself so I did it. I got myself countless times with the fists in the sides of my back head and I get all the frustrations that were inside of me poor out on myself. I got such a bad concussion from it of which I’m still suffering from 14 years later. Learn from my story and please never hit yourselves in the head. I didn’t expect that I would do so much harm to myself, but unfortunately I did and here I am 14 years later suffering from that mistake...
@@AgustusMaximus I’m so sorry dear. When I was a teen I had pretty bad OCD too. I’m 23 and still some symptoms today but they are mainly tied to Depersonalisation/derealisation that I suffer from. My parents didn’t get it either. I relate to what you’ve been through to an extent and I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that ❤️. The human mind is a complex place. I’ve come to know though that a lot of it is spiritual. Demons can live inside and through someone. I hope you’ve healed internally and I pray your head heals as well. Love your username by the way. God bless x.
@@JESUSLOVESYOU219 I’m very sorry about your suffering.. 😔 I pray to God that He will heal and comfort you! 🙏🏼 And thank you so much for your prayer, I really appreciate it! 🙏🏼❤️ I’m so glad that you are in Christ Jesus. He is the best healer and comforter ever! I cannot wait to see Him soon, to be in His presence and completely forget all the trauma I’ve suffered in this life. What a day that will be! 🎺🛐❤️🙌🏼 Yes, I agree with you 100%. I know so many people who experienced in- and external attacks from demons, especially in their childhood and youth when they were most vulnerable. The devil is so sneaky and deceitful. I’ve learned so much from those attacks. I’m 31 years old and I would like to be a father someday. If God blesses me, then I will do everything to make sure my kids grow up in a healthy environment. So many Christians move to big cities without paying attention to the neighborhood they live in and whom their kids will be playing with. This gives the devil power to attack the kids through demonized people. And in these last days Satan has so many people to use, therefore we have to be extra careful. Btw, I’m sorry for the all the writing errors in the previous message, I wrote it too fast without checking. Thank you! I love your username too! ☺️🙏🏼 God bless you too fam and take good care of yourself! ❤️
This is fascinating. Not BPD, but am Autistic with ADHD. When our sensory system is overloaded, we self harm. Banging our head, scratching arms/legs, or cutting are all attempts to release the overwhelm. Interesting to look at self harm from that perspective.
Exactly when I was little when I felt overstimulated by too many people in my personal space or too bright of lights or (mostly) too loud or many repetitive sounds I would try anything to make it stop. Or just drowned the overstimulants out.
@@nesswhopees I think we have mental illness because we are forced to live in a neurotypical world that makes ALL our sensory needs worse. I can speak neurotypical but they can't speak neurodiverse.
I'm a 59 year old male and I've been self harming myself since the 80's I stopped for about 18 years while I was married but for the last 10 years its been weekly and sometime daily. I hit myself in the face instead of cutting and now both sides of my face have permanent swelling. I always have to make up excuses to my coworkers when they ask about it. I've always had suicidal thoughts but now I am actively preparing for it. I hate myself and my life and both my parents are gone so I rather be with them. And if there is nothing after this, I'm ok with that too!
I'm a 27 years old man. My regret is nood being good to myself. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp just for introduction. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents. She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
I'm a new graduate psychiatric nurse practitioner and throughout all of my masters program self harm and its link to BPD was never explained like it was in this video. I feel like self harm and BPD is often portrayed negatively, and you did a great job of explaining it in a non biased way. Than you, I will definitely be passing this information along to future patients who may benefit from it.
I self harm when I feel stupid and feel as if Ive let myself down, it is self-hatred. Id advise not to punch oneself in the head, it really f***ing hurts afterward. Im scared after 25yrs of it I have CTE. Ps. I agree about the running.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents. She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
Because it's simple, there people have so much shi* that they can't control including stress or other and countless problems. The only thing you can control is the pain that happens to your own body. Then after you self-injure(cutting in my case) you feel grief and realize how much you fuck** up by hurting yourself and feel bad and even worse as you look at your now bloody or bruised body. Its ultimately self-defeating and does not help but makes you feel better. It's the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Chronic pain coping mechanism. Better to feel something new, even if it's stronger, than the same years long unrelenting bombardment. Short term relief from a bad friend.
As someone who has to explain what himself alot due to obvious self harm scars, this is the best video on the topic, period. It's easy enough to understand, does not judge in any way, but also doesn't cut corners when trying to explain the complexity of it. The only thing I wish it would cover as well is that one can get as addicted to self harming as you can to any other drug that provides the same stimuli.
it’s so hard for me, i have the urge to do it, feel guilty after doing it, then the cycle continues…. I want to stop but I have no other way of release. I don’t want attention, I want help but I don’t want anyone I know to know that I do it.
I m borderline and the videos just made me cry. I was never able to explain it like this. The part about pushing away the people you love... Thats it. Thats what i have been doing. I dont know how to cope otherwise. Thank you for explaining it beautifully
One method I've used is causing pain without injury, and I've usually only done this in extreme situations where I was desperately trying to avoid suicide. To me, it helped me get out of my head, more in the present moment, in reality instead of my thoughts and feelings. I find myself sometimes missing being in a fight because being struck, in a fight, I feel alive and in the present moment, same with high risk adrenaline inducing activities, or otherwise dangerous activities that could easily result in death. I've also felt a sense of normalcy when taking an opioid like hydrocodone, not a high, I just felt okay, normal. I have been in therapy, I have taken antidepressants, and I have made progress in living a healthier happier life. I'm not well today, but by far improved with all that I've learned. I learned that getting drunk is dangerous for me, although it can be great at the time, the following few days are hell. I recently learned I was self harming internally, psychologically, emotionally, in other words, beating myself up. Understanding that, and what I should be doing differently helped a lot. So, I'm.... alright. I did wonder why opioids seemed like the perfect medicine for me but people talk about it negatively describing it as an addictive drug, and now I'm left still wondering what to do about it. I don't have an opioid addiction, but I haven't yet had the opportunity to talk to a mental health doctor about this problem. I'm wondering if there is a solution that might work for me. I don't care much for anti-depressants which I can feel, versus something like hydrocodone which feels more natural, it's not like I feel it's effects, it's more, not feeling, undesirable things. I don't have regular access to nor take regularly or often any opioids such as hydrocodone, I've just have had it prescribed to me in the past. I just though I'd share given my experiences, insights, questions and musings. Great video, thanks.
Stay away from Opiates if your like that.I thought they were helping me to and they’ve destroyed my life.They end up amplifying all your Anxiety and Depression in the long run.They May seem to make your issues go away at first,but believe me they come back with a vengeance
Hydrocodone shld be taken under supervision with theraputic dosages. It’s one of the most powerful opioids and certainly there’s less potent ones that could help you. Another thing, opioids might lift your depression and physical pain at first but once you get used to them 1- you build tolerance so you would have to take more and then fall into the addiction trap. 2- if you use it for a long time it fkn backfires and you’ll feel even more depressed while on it minus the pain .
@@SarahWells777 Wow?! I tapered subuxone gradually till i reached a very small dosage but took it for a year and after momths i started having upper back muscular pain and eczema ( atopic dermatitis) which is i think related to immune system too..
I’ve been having this muscle pain for a year and thought abt the opioids but dismissed the idea but the itching and eczema are still haunting me. When i tapered it got less itchy . Thank you!!
To be honest, I only cut because of an addiction, so for like a month, I had intrusive thoughts about self harm, which I guess might be or might not be caused by me having emotional repression for a few years now, and about two to three weeks ago I tried on my hand, liked it, moved to my thigh so it will be easier to hide and well, I've got addicted, now I do it every night for really no other reason that just feeling the need, liking how the cuts/scars look like, and also it being somewhat "fun" to me, I mean, it's exciting/fun to see the cuts appear, and to see the blood appear
Forgive me I may not have read all the comments all the way to the end but this is what I know... I am now 68 I was diagnosed bipolar II fast cycling - basically it's bipolar depression. Strangely enough I have not read few, actually no comments/science in reference to the actual act. Cutting releases endorphins. There is an actual physical release because we have reached a point that there is so much and we can't handle it. Now let's talk about the typical theory of cutting. Cutting is attention gathering. This is true. I have a teenage grandson. He and I have always been open about my diagnosis. He knows many (mostly girls) who cut perhaps for attention. That does not mean we ignore them. Just as suicidal attempts without success may be attention gathering but not because OH GEE LOOK AT ME because I am hurting can you please help me. And please the clinical definition of depression is not oh I feel bad today or I feel bad because something terrible happened to me or I feel bad and justified grief. These are all normal feelings that we all have to process. Depression isn't overwhelming feeling that lasts for months. It is best described as failure to thrive. We all have gifts amazing talents but when depression closes our eyes there is no such thing. We feel as though we have lost everything that matters and this feeling goes on and on. So please everyone understand the true definition of depression and no that it is dangerous. You need to reach out to those people support them. Don't try to cure them through smiles and prayers and spreading the love - and if only... That attitude only worsens our self worth. That attitude just confirms to us that we are failures.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents. She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
This is such a fantastic video! I've just finished my psychology masters and am applying for roles in the NHS now, I'm finding them really helpful for independent learning.
This is most fascinating. I've watched several of your videos on BPD so far. I've read so much about BPD before, but each time I watch your video I learn something new. Much love for you and thank you for all that you do, don't stop making such high-quality content and educating others on such matters.
This is a great video! I also wanted to share (and im not sure if the video said it or not because im typing while the video is playing) that you can hurt yourself for small reasons, too. It doesnt have to be punishing yourself or dont know what to do with your emotions. Sometimes i self harm because i’d need some kind of stimulation, mostly when i was really bored. Recently i’ve noticed any time i’m trying to do school work and i get REALLY bored (like to the point i’d want to cry, nap, etc. sometimes i’d just stare and daydream no matter how hard i try to focus) all i think about is how much i’d rather just bash my head into a wall because “anything is better than this god awful homework, its so boring” Or if im on my phone but dont really have anything to do, like if im to tired to do arts and crafts or take a walk i’d just hurt myself instead. I guess im just saying that sometimes it can be simple things like that. Today Im 267 days clean from cutting! Im dealing with a lot of intense emotions recently along with boredom, but im doing my best to stay clean. Im actually “trying” to do my school work right now but since im bored and cant hurt myself i look up these kind of videos lol.
My therapist always tells me that self harm “makes sense”, at least in the context of my struggle with BPD and self hatred, addiction, and impulses. It’s oddly validating being told that it’s not something that doesn’t make any sense. I also find it interesting that I went from self harm addiction (endogenous opioids) in my early teens to fentanyl addiction (exogenous opioids) in my late teens/early 20s when self harm wasn’t doing it anymore.
to me it's not only the pain but see the blood runing along my body that relieves most of the pain and that restores feelings to my inner normal (living with bpd and complex ptbs)
When other people invalidate my feelings or my experiences, I feel the need to validate them myself. I need to see it. Because if none of this pain is real, why the fuck am I like this?
This is super accurate. A while ago when i was dealing with a for, of rejecting and i did that it felt as if that pain and stress from the even were released or i guess distracted. Im not sure how to explain it but yeas this is super accurate
I was a once a self harmer with borderline, I felt the pain would take away the heart/emotional pain. Once I had cut I felt that my mind had gone from pure emotional driven to finally seeing logic.. I now know that is caused by my BPD and have found ways to try and cope with the emotions opposed to cutting.. It takes time, was not an overnight thing for me. Sadly took 8 years and too many scars and tendon damage to finally realise that there has to be a better way.. I haven't got there fully but have gone along way since my last cut or OD 13 years ago..
I don't know the reasons why I've always been like I am but I know feeling messed up and it leading to doing weird shit. I remember feeling anxious and lost all my life.
Can someone help me I self harm but I’m not depressed I’m not sure why i do it, I can’t tell if I like it or not, self harming is just addictive to me But I’m happy? Why do I self harm please can someone help?
I know with me is usually through the roof anger and many times drinking. I just took out 28 stitches 2 days ago on 4 of them, after drinking 4 bottles of wine and ending up in the ER at 5am a few weeks ago. Yet again. Total complete turmoil just made worse with alcohol. Does not help my Case manager bailed as well.
I have inherited emotional dysregulation disorder and also circumstantial abuse from ppl close to me who dgaf bput me and will turn on me bully me n pick on me hate on me for NO reason! Being an adoptive reject is partly why I'm hated on so much
In middle school I was bullied so badly by my BF's cousin; when I brought it up with her she excused it because his mom had cancer; My Dad had brain surgery.
I just scratch myself , beat myself continuously.... Then got a shower from head to toe.... Got relaxed somehow... Then cried for 1/2 hours..... But not getting relief from shallow breathing
ok, this was abt the 7th video down after i typed in 'psychology of self harm'. EVERY OTHER ONE was age restricted. do i have to explain why thats a problem
With me, I just get so overwhelmed with anger and rage that I pound myself in the face and head… after I exhaust myself on my face or head, I sense relief in the pain. I just hide in the pain bubble. Usually I can cope again after that. I’m 53 years old. Go figure.
There's a good argument to be made there! Ultimately these videos are intended to provoke interest in a topic, not to be the definitive information source. I always link to the original study in the description so check out that article if you're interested in learning more 😊
Does that mean you could use cerebralspinal fluid to differentiate borderline personality disorder from other disorders where self-harming is common? For instance, we autistic people self harm to regulate emotions in a similar way, but that does not necessarily mean we have borderline personality disorder.
So I have BPD. I have self injured and dealt with addiction. My question is, if not self injury and not substance abuse to regulate and function, where does that leave people with BPD with socially acceptable and healthy coping/treatment?
I’ve started self-harming at 7 years old. Now I’m 20 I still battling with self-harm I kept -Cutting -Hitting -Biting -Scratching -Punching -Slapping -Hair-Pulling -Head-Banging I still do it to hurt myself to cope with the pain that won’t go away. 😢 I’m miserable I won’t stop hurting myself I’ve been back and forth in the mental institution because I kept self-harming so bad.
I'm 20, and I've been depressed from I was 12. I started pulling my hair, then later on I started bitting and recently I hit and punch myself during arguments. Even though I'm soothing my myself and I feel better after letting the pain out, I feel great pain and disappointment and my family makes it worse because they don't listen and back down when I feel like im going to attack myself.
I was just in the ER 2 weeks ago for stitches after my psychologist announced out of the blue she was dumping me after almost 4 years in the exact same way my ex-GP did 5 years ago. A way that almost finished me 5 years ago and now my psychologist is doing the same thing in the same manner. Just not with very bad transference involved like before from childhood trauma. I ended up in the ER after self-harming on purpose so that I would not get really drunk, go to a dark place and who knows. It's like a huge dose of morphine and Im so mellow and flat in the ER and for the rest of the night till the next day disaster is averted. Im not sure if the ER Doctors understand how you can be so calm and flat affect while all the stitching is being done like you are having a talk with them in the park or a coffee shop. Oh well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
@@jadejustice6163 Im ok , Im trying to find another professional (or so they are supposed to be) to help me out over the winter and more. I hope you are ok is more important if you are in the ER right now. I wish I had seen this message 56 minutes ago.
so relatable about the flat affectation. its like everything is so awful all the time that these things that other people would think of as scary or dangerous just feel insignificant. i accidently almost cut my thumb off and in the er i told them that and they told me to have a seat and theyd be with me soon and then a while later when i had gone through a whole roll of paper towels and went to ask for gauze or something they freaked out and said they thought i was exaggerating because i wasnt acting like how i was describing it
My friend does self harm and he's lowkey open about it on social media. I know It's a bad thing to think that "what if he's doing it tor attention?" but I'm scared for him. What if he actually kills himself one day? He says it feels good or he's fine and he often says he's suffering inside. What do I do???
as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and self harm i advise you to do whatever you can to provide them mental health resources. i myself have cut for “attention” it doesn’t justify anything it’s a cry for help please try to help them.
Very informative, thank you. Please review the reasons why we hope to move away from the term "commit suicide", as mentioned in the video. It is rooted in criminalization---- under U.S law, suicide is not a crime to be "committed." Though, in many ways, suicide is preventable and a public health issue. Please, as a medical professional, consider using "died by", "took their life by." Thank you.
For people that don't not have borderline personality disorder, why would someone without these types of mental health issues resort to cutting? Also,is it common to see this behavior in adults?
I started SH’ing as an adult. I have Bipolar Disorder which is a mood disorder not personality disorder. Sometimes the feelings are just too much and I do not want to subject anyone to my emotions so I use it to cope in secret.
I don’t feel pain. I just end up with deep scars and even more depressed eventually. Maybe it is that I am prescribed methadone and so many mg’s of benzodiazepines for too too long. I am alone 99% if the time. I used to be a handsome and intelligent guy. Now I want to die but I worry it is so rare to be human there may be an angry God waiting.
why do people self-harm? Simple... it is so they can be the ones in control of how much they get hurt. So they can be the ones in control of the pain rather than the pain being in control of them. So that when the last ounce of blood falls to the ground they know that they were able to choose this pain. Why? because they can finally control that part that has hurt them so greatly.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents. She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
This was fabulous! Very interesting and it makes perfect sense. I am 36 and haven't cut in 16 years. But I remember what I was thinking the times I did it I just didn't understand why that as a coping mechanism. I was desperately trying to escape the emotional pain. Later in life I found myself suddenly addicted to percocet. Didn't realize until after I was chemically dependent, that it was oxy and Tylenol. I'd never been attracted to downers before despite having plenty of accessibility. I've been off those nasty things since the beginning of 2018 thank God but watching this helped me understand how that happened..
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents. She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
You are a beautiful person. I do not know why your lover felt severely insecure in you guys relationship to not understand or have the will to listen to you. But I wish the best for you both, keep going strong. There's another person out there that will enjoy your love and warmth. We all need human connection to feel grounded and alive. I hope you were able to grow from this situation rather than blunder.
i like to explain my motivation for cutting as triggering a fight or flight mechanism to force my brain to pay attention to the new and sudden physical injury rather than continuing to insist that im in life threatening emotional pain which i can't manage to get out of despite my brain constantly telling me that i desperately need to escape.
Here's a story. I cut 7 yrs and noone knew but me n another. One day I just stopped n threw the stuff away n used rubber bands for awhile. Until the person asked why did I stop. Told them nothing I ever did ever took the pain away so u accept it. Thats when u stop when u learn to accept.
Thanks for sharing so candidly Emily, I understood it clearly. I wish nothing but peace and healing to you. May your body learn to feel safe in this world, with people that love you and embrace you with acceptance and kindness. Btw, I found this freedom when connecting spiritually with God (Jesus), sharing with you in case you're interested. ❤
I self harm myself and you got this right, I’m surprised you didn’t say we do this for attention. Good job. ☺️
Hope you seek help when its out of control 😊;you got this
That's because self harming isn't for attention takes a lot for a person to do that I understand you are not alone I promise
@@Cat-zz1vp
Thank you
@@Cat-zz1vp some selfharm is for attention, and even then those people still need help
@@Wercia777 I'm sorry did you not watch the video??
Im a young girl that wishes to work in mental health care when she grows up. I will save a life before i die. Mark my words. I dont care how much studying or emotional labor i have to do. I will help someone and i will take care of myself as i do it. Even if just one person. my life WILL have meaning.
You are a good person ❤ wish you the best
It’s so so hard to quit. It’s like an add!ction in a sense. You just feel so guilty and alone and reaching out is one of the scariest parts.
Your right you really are right
It’s a release for the pain inside of you. When you have so much overwhelming pain inside of yourself and it feels like nothing around you is strong enough to make you feel better, you harm for a release. There’s a thing of “transferring” the pain too. When you see the infliction it’s like what inside has “gone where ever you harmed.” Also releasing frustration, anger etc. “Better” to take it out on yourself than on others, especially when you can’t verbalise everything.
And yes a cry for help is big too, because deep inside the person wants help. They really don’t want to harm themselves but they feel like they have no other choice.
spot on...
thank you, exactly…😞
Exactly! I remember when I was a teenager and I got bullied because I had OCD. I got bullied in front of my friend and I felt like he was ashamed of me I front of the person that bullied me. Also I didn’t get help from my parents cause they didn’t understand me. Nobody knew how I felt. One day my little brother annoyed me so much that I wanted to hit him on the upper arm, but just as I swung my arm he bowed down and I hit him very hard in the back of the head. He cried for more than 30 minutes holding his head telling me to call an ambulance. I got so afraid that I had given him an internal bleeding. I got so mad at myself that I wanted to punish myself so I did it. I got myself countless times with the fists in the sides of my back head and I get all the frustrations that were inside of me poor out on myself. I got such a bad concussion from it of which I’m still suffering from 14 years later.
Learn from my story and please never hit yourselves in the head. I didn’t expect that I would do so much harm to myself, but unfortunately I did and here I am 14 years later suffering from that mistake...
@@AgustusMaximus I’m so sorry dear. When I was a teen I had pretty bad OCD too. I’m 23 and still some symptoms today but they are mainly tied to Depersonalisation/derealisation that I suffer from. My parents didn’t get it either. I relate to what you’ve been through to an extent and I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that ❤️. The human mind is a complex place. I’ve come to know though that a lot of it is spiritual. Demons can live inside and through someone. I hope you’ve healed internally and I pray your head heals as well.
Love your username by the way. God bless x.
@@JESUSLOVESYOU219 I’m very sorry about your suffering.. 😔 I pray to God that He will heal and comfort you! 🙏🏼 And thank you so much for your prayer, I really appreciate it! 🙏🏼❤️ I’m so glad that you are in Christ Jesus. He is the best healer and comforter ever! I cannot wait to see Him soon, to be in His presence and completely forget all the trauma I’ve suffered in this life. What a day that will be! 🎺🛐❤️🙌🏼 Yes, I agree with you 100%. I know so many people who experienced in- and external attacks from demons, especially in their childhood and youth when they were most vulnerable. The devil is so sneaky and deceitful. I’ve learned so much from those attacks. I’m 31 years old and I would like to be a father someday. If God blesses me, then I will do everything to make sure my kids grow up in a healthy environment. So many Christians move to big cities without paying attention to the neighborhood they live in and whom their kids will be playing with. This gives the devil power to attack the kids through demonized people. And in these last days Satan has so many people to use, therefore we have to be extra careful.
Btw, I’m sorry for the all the writing errors in the previous message, I wrote it too fast without checking.
Thank you! I love your username too! ☺️🙏🏼
God bless you too fam and take good care of yourself! ❤️
This is fascinating. Not BPD, but am Autistic with ADHD. When our sensory system is overloaded, we self harm. Banging our head, scratching arms/legs, or cutting are all attempts to release the overwhelm. Interesting to look at self harm from that perspective.
🕊
Same here. A combination of mental illness and neurodivergence.
Exactly when I was little when I felt overstimulated by too many people in my personal space or too bright of lights or (mostly) too loud or many repetitive sounds I would try anything to make it stop. Or just drowned the overstimulants out.
@@nesswhopees I think we have mental illness because we are forced to live in a neurotypical world that makes ALL our sensory needs worse. I can speak neurotypical but they can't speak neurodiverse.
I've dented walls head butting been doing it since I was 1 years old!
This channel has ridiculously high quality videos. It’s amazing that UA-cam hasn’t spread the love with its algorithm.
Jesus loves you 😸🪗😉🎣🎷😘🧩🎤🥰🕶♥️💄🎵🎶🫧🎺🎻😃🎋🎁
I'm a 59 year old male and I've been self harming myself since the 80's I stopped for about 18 years while I was married but for the last 10 years its been weekly and sometime daily. I hit myself in the face instead of cutting and now both sides of my face have permanent swelling. I always have to make up excuses to my coworkers when they ask about it. I've always had suicidal thoughts but now I am actively preparing for it. I hate myself and my life and both my parents are gone so I rather be with them. And if there is nothing after this, I'm ok with that too!
I'm a 27 years old man. My regret is nood being good to myself.
My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp just for introduction. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents.
She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
Maybe try DBT
Don't do this, please. It'll pass
Suicide isn’t the way, if you want to be with your parents, you have to stay strong, I believe in you.
U can get through this, I believe in you 🙏
I’ve never felt so seen in the comments. Thank you all for giving me the language to describe why.
I'm a new graduate psychiatric nurse practitioner and throughout all of my masters program self harm and its link to BPD was never explained like it was in this video. I feel like self harm and BPD is often portrayed negatively, and you did a great job of explaining it in a non biased way. Than you, I will definitely be passing this information along to future patients who may benefit from it.
I self harm when I feel stupid and feel as if Ive let myself down, it is self-hatred.
Id advise not to punch oneself in the head, it really f***ing hurts afterward.
Im scared after 25yrs of it I have CTE.
Ps. I agree about the running.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents.
She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
Because it's simple, there people have so much shi* that they can't control including stress or other and countless problems. The only thing you can control is the pain that happens to your own body. Then after you self-injure(cutting in my case) you feel grief and realize how much you fuck** up by hurting yourself and feel bad and even worse as you look at your now bloody or bruised body.
Its ultimately self-defeating and does not help but makes you feel better. It's the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Chronic pain coping mechanism. Better to feel something new, even if it's stronger, than the same years long unrelenting bombardment. Short term relief from a bad friend.
I use cutting and extreme calorie restriction as self harm it helps my brain focus on that pain
As someone who has to explain what himself alot due to obvious self harm scars, this is the best video on the topic, period. It's easy enough to understand, does not judge in any way, but also doesn't cut corners when trying to explain the complexity of it. The only thing I wish it would cover as well is that one can get as addicted to self harming as you can to any other drug that provides the same stimuli.
If I’m being honest, I self harm because I want a reason to express my feelings, to calm myself down, and to ask for help.
it’s so hard for me, i have the urge to do it, feel guilty after doing it, then the cycle continues…. I want to stop but I have no other way of release. I don’t want attention, I want help but I don’t want anyone I know to know that I do it.
I m borderline and the videos just made me cry. I was never able to explain it like this. The part about pushing away the people you love... Thats it. Thats what i have been doing. I dont know how to cope otherwise. Thank you for explaining it beautifully
One method I've used is causing pain without injury, and I've usually only done this in extreme situations where I was desperately trying to avoid suicide. To me, it helped me get out of my head, more in the present moment, in reality instead of my thoughts and feelings. I find myself sometimes missing being in a fight because being struck, in a fight, I feel alive and in the present moment, same with high risk adrenaline inducing activities, or otherwise dangerous activities that could easily result in death. I've also felt a sense of normalcy when taking an opioid like hydrocodone, not a high, I just felt okay, normal.
I have been in therapy, I have taken antidepressants, and I have made progress in living a healthier happier life. I'm not well today, but by far improved with all that I've learned. I learned that getting drunk is dangerous for me, although it can be great at the time, the following few days are hell. I recently learned I was self harming internally, psychologically, emotionally, in other words, beating myself up. Understanding that, and what I should be doing differently helped a lot. So, I'm.... alright.
I did wonder why opioids seemed like the perfect medicine for me but people talk about it negatively describing it as an addictive drug, and now I'm left still wondering what to do about it. I don't have an opioid addiction, but I haven't yet had the opportunity to talk to a mental health doctor about this problem. I'm wondering if there is a solution that might work for me. I don't care much for anti-depressants which I can feel, versus something like hydrocodone which feels more natural, it's not like I feel it's effects, it's more, not feeling, undesirable things. I don't have regular access to nor take regularly or often any opioids such as hydrocodone, I've just have had it prescribed to me in the past.
I just though I'd share given my experiences, insights, questions and musings. Great video, thanks.
Stay away from Opiates if your like that.I thought they were helping me to and they’ve destroyed my life.They end up amplifying all your Anxiety and Depression in the long run.They May seem to make your issues go away at first,but believe me they come back with a vengeance
Hydrocodone shld be taken under supervision with theraputic dosages.
It’s one of the most powerful opioids and certainly there’s less potent ones that could help you.
Another thing, opioids might lift your depression and physical pain at first but once you get used to them
1- you build tolerance so you would have to take more and then fall into the addiction trap.
2- if you use it for a long time it fkn backfires and you’ll feel even more depressed while on it minus the pain .
@@MrTeks79 and it ends up amplifying your pain and causing other issues.Like Fibromyalgia,etc..I’m proof that it wrecks your immune system,etc.
@@SarahWells777
Wow?!
I tapered subuxone gradually till i reached a very small dosage but took it for a year and after momths i started having upper back muscular pain and eczema ( atopic dermatitis) which is i think related to immune system too..
I’ve been having this muscle pain for a year and thought abt the opioids but dismissed the idea but the itching and eczema are still haunting me.
When i tapered it got less itchy .
Thank you!!
To be honest, I only cut because of an addiction, so for like a month, I had intrusive thoughts about self harm, which I guess might be or might not be caused by me having emotional repression for a few years now, and about two to three weeks ago I tried on my hand, liked it, moved to my thigh so it will be easier to hide and well, I've got addicted, now I do it every night for really no other reason that just feeling the need, liking how the cuts/scars look like, and also it being somewhat "fun" to me, I mean, it's exciting/fun to see the cuts appear, and to see the blood appear
Forgive me I may not have read all the comments all the way to the end but this is what I know... I am now 68 I was diagnosed bipolar II fast cycling - basically it's bipolar depression.
Strangely enough I have not read few, actually no comments/science in reference to the actual act. Cutting releases endorphins. There is an actual physical release because we have reached a point that there is so much and we can't handle it.
Now let's talk about the typical theory of cutting. Cutting is attention gathering. This is true.
I have a teenage grandson. He and I have always been open about my diagnosis. He knows many (mostly girls) who cut perhaps for attention. That does not mean we ignore them. Just as suicidal attempts without success may be attention gathering but not because OH GEE LOOK AT ME because I am hurting can you please help me.
And please the clinical definition of depression is not oh I feel bad today or I feel bad because something terrible happened to me or I feel bad and justified grief. These are all normal feelings that we all have to process. Depression isn't overwhelming feeling that lasts for months. It is best described as failure to thrive. We all have gifts amazing talents but when depression closes our eyes there is no such thing. We feel as though we have lost everything that matters and this feeling goes on and on.
So please everyone understand the true definition of depression and no that it is dangerous. You need to reach out to those people support them. Don't try to cure them through smiles and prayers and spreading the love - and if only... That attitude only worsens our self worth. That attitude just confirms to us that we are failures.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents.
She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
This is such a fantastic video! I've just finished my psychology masters and am applying for roles in the NHS now, I'm finding them really helpful for independent learning.
Do you know where I can find a book that addresses what this video discusses? Any help would be much appreciated!
Ive never Heard how i feel so accurately!
Thank you for sharing the insightful information applicable to practice.
Another great video. Thank you sir.
I learned so much from this, thanks!
This is most fascinating. I've watched several of your videos on BPD so far. I've read so much about BPD before, but each time I watch your video I learn something new. Much love for you and thank you for all that you do, don't stop making such high-quality content and educating others on such matters.
This helped me a lot. Thank you
Wow so enlightening thank you so much
Excellent video!
I have be SH for a long time and it's so hard to fight the urge...so being able to understand it will help me try to get closure and quit.
absolutely brilliant
This is a great video!
I also wanted to share (and im not sure if the video said it or not because im typing while the video is playing) that you can hurt yourself for small reasons, too. It doesnt have to be punishing yourself or dont know what to do with your emotions. Sometimes i self harm because i’d need some kind of stimulation, mostly when i was really bored. Recently i’ve noticed any time i’m trying to do school work and i get REALLY bored (like to the point i’d want to cry, nap, etc. sometimes i’d just stare and daydream no matter how hard i try to focus) all i think about is how much i’d rather just bash my head into a wall because “anything is better than this god awful homework, its so boring”
Or if im on my phone but dont really have anything to do, like if im to tired to do arts and crafts or take a walk i’d just hurt myself instead. I guess im just saying that sometimes it can be simple things like that.
Today Im 267 days clean from cutting! Im dealing with a lot of intense emotions recently along with boredom, but im doing my best to stay clean. Im actually “trying” to do my school work right now but since im bored and cant hurt myself i look up these kind of videos lol.
My therapist always tells me that self harm “makes sense”, at least in the context of my struggle with BPD and self hatred, addiction, and impulses. It’s oddly validating being told that it’s not something that doesn’t make any sense. I also find it interesting that I went from self harm addiction (endogenous opioids) in my early teens to fentanyl addiction (exogenous opioids) in my late teens/early 20s when self harm wasn’t doing it anymore.
to me it's not only the pain but see the blood runing along my body that relieves most of the pain and that restores feelings to my inner normal (living with bpd and complex ptbs)
Based
impressively well explained.
Love your content. Preparing for psych board exams in South Africa. God bless you for the richness of the content. Not just mneumonics. XXX
I did that a long time a go
thank you for the video (from a self-harming borderline viewer)
When other people invalidate my feelings or my experiences, I feel the need to validate them myself. I need to see it. Because if none of this pain is real, why the fuck am I like this?
This is super accurate. A while ago when i was dealing with a for, of rejecting and i did that it felt as if that pain and stress from the even were released or i guess distracted. Im not sure how to explain it but yeas this is super accurate
Can't scream can't shout hurt myself to get pain out these sunless afternoons I can't seem to fund myself
A tiiny animal trapped in a quarter circle
I was a once a self harmer with borderline, I felt the pain would take away the heart/emotional pain. Once I had cut I felt that my mind had gone from pure emotional driven to finally seeing logic.. I now know that is caused by my BPD and have found ways to try and cope with the emotions opposed to cutting.. It takes time, was not an overnight thing for me. Sadly took 8 years and too many scars and tendon damage to finally realise that there has to be a better way.. I haven't got there fully but have gone along way since my last cut or OD 13 years ago..
This video got me!!!
I don't know the reasons why I've always been like I am but I know feeling messed up and it leading to doing weird shit. I remember feeling anxious and lost all my life.
Very interesting
I do it to feel something
Can someone help me
I self harm but I’m not depressed I’m not sure why i do it, I can’t tell if I like it or not, self harming is just addictive to me
But I’m happy? Why do I self harm please can someone help?
I have BPD and have been self harming since I was 13(I’m 41 now) in fact I used a blade on my arm only 6 days ago
I know with me is usually through the roof anger and many times drinking. I just took out 28 stitches 2 days ago on 4 of them, after drinking 4 bottles of wine and ending up in the ER at 5am a few weeks ago. Yet again. Total complete turmoil just made worse with alcohol. Does not help my Case manager bailed as well.
I have inherited emotional dysregulation disorder and also circumstantial abuse from ppl close to me who dgaf bput me and will turn on me bully me n pick on me hate on me for NO reason! Being an adoptive reject is partly why I'm hated on so much
In middle school I was bullied so badly by my BF's cousin; when I brought it up with her she excused it because his mom had cancer; My Dad had brain surgery.
I just scratch myself , beat myself continuously.... Then got a shower from head to toe.... Got relaxed somehow... Then cried for 1/2 hours..... But not getting relief from shallow breathing
ok, this was abt the 7th video down after i typed in 'psychology of self harm'. EVERY OTHER ONE was age restricted. do i have to explain why thats a problem
No, you do not.
With me, I just get so overwhelmed with anger and rage that I pound myself in the face and head… after I exhaust myself on my face or head, I sense relief in the pain. I just hide in the pain bubble.
Usually I can cope again after that. I’m 53 years old. Go figure.
Informative slides _might_ be nicer than stock footage... ;) Or how do you think there?
There's a good argument to be made there! Ultimately these videos are intended to provoke interest in a topic, not to be the definitive information source. I always link to the original study in the description so check out that article if you're interested in learning more 😊
I'd prefer tto carry on the way I am, as I know who I am, how to cope aannd what. Too do when I suddnelyy drop off the world
Does that mean you could use cerebralspinal fluid to differentiate borderline personality disorder from other disorders where self-harming is common? For instance, we autistic people self harm to regulate emotions in a similar way, but that does not necessarily mean we have borderline personality disorder.
This is interesting
Can someone tell me where I can find this information about indigenous opioids as related to self harm and Bpd - thank you
Try hypnotherapy for past trauma etc. The book " the power of your subconscious mind" is awesome. Peace
So I have BPD. I have self injured and dealt with addiction. My question is, if not self injury and not substance abuse to regulate and function, where does that leave people with BPD with socially acceptable and healthy coping/treatment?
It's also a pain that I have control over
wouldnt it be interesting to develop medication that slightly stimulates endogenous opiod release suitable for long term use
I’ve started self-harming at 7 years old. Now I’m 20 I still battling with self-harm I kept
-Cutting
-Hitting
-Biting
-Scratching
-Punching
-Slapping
-Hair-Pulling
-Head-Banging
I still do it to hurt myself to cope with the pain that won’t go away. 😢 I’m miserable I won’t stop hurting myself I’ve been back and forth in the mental institution because I kept self-harming so bad.
I'm 20, and I've been depressed from I was 12. I started pulling my hair, then later on I started bitting and recently I hit and punch myself during arguments. Even though I'm soothing my myself and I feel better after letting the pain out, I feel great pain and disappointment and my family makes it worse because they don't listen and back down when I feel like im going to attack myself.
I was just in the ER 2 weeks ago for stitches after my psychologist announced out of the blue she was dumping me after almost 4 years in the exact same way my ex-GP did 5 years ago. A way that almost finished me 5 years ago and now my psychologist is doing the same thing in the same manner. Just not with very bad transference involved like before from childhood trauma. I ended up in the ER after self-harming on purpose so that I would not get really drunk, go to a dark place and who knows. It's like a huge dose of morphine and Im so mellow and flat in the ER and for the rest of the night till the next day disaster is averted. Im not sure if the ER Doctors understand how you can be so calm and flat affect while all the stitching is being done like you are having a talk with them in the park or a coffee shop. Oh well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Very sorry you had to go through this. I hope you are doing better now.
@@CatsDoNotComply thanks. She will not derail me. 29 days sober. Yes for me!
In the hospital getting stitches as I was watching the video, I'm so sorry. I hope your doing alright
@@jadejustice6163 Im ok , Im trying to find another professional (or so they are supposed to be) to help me out over the winter and more. I hope you are ok is more important if you are in the ER right now. I wish I had seen this message 56 minutes ago.
so relatable about the flat affectation. its like everything is so awful all the time that these things that other people would think of as scary or dangerous just feel insignificant. i accidently almost cut my thumb off and in the er i told them that and they told me to have a seat and theyd be with me soon and then a while later when i had gone through a whole roll of paper towels and went to ask for gauze or something they freaked out and said they thought i was exaggerating because i wasnt acting like how i was describing it
I’m not sure why I do it idk
Makes sense how I moved from self harm to opioids
My friend does self harm and he's lowkey open about it on social media. I know It's a bad thing to think that "what if he's doing it tor attention?" but I'm scared for him. What if he actually kills himself one day? He says it feels good or he's fine and he often says he's suffering inside. What do I do???
as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and self harm i advise you to do whatever you can to provide them mental health resources. i myself have cut for “attention” it doesn’t justify anything it’s a cry for help please try to help them.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 1. When I get frustrated, I hit myself!
But I know about this theory of endogenous morphines. Our own body has a "pain killer" defense mechanism when induced by trauma
Very informative, thank you. Please review the reasons why we hope to move away from the term "commit suicide", as mentioned in the video. It is rooted in criminalization---- under U.S law, suicide is not a crime to be "committed." Though, in many ways, suicide is preventable and a public health issue. Please, as a medical professional, consider using "died by", "took their life by." Thank you.
😢😢😢😢😣
but not everyone who cuts has bpd.
For people that don't not have borderline personality disorder, why would someone without these types of mental health issues resort to cutting? Also,is it common to see this behavior in adults?
It helps me feel like something
I started SH’ing as an adult. I have Bipolar Disorder which is a mood disorder not personality disorder. Sometimes the feelings are just too much and I do not want to subject anyone to my emotions so I use it to cope in secret.
I don’t feel pain. I just end up with deep scars and even more depressed eventually. Maybe it is that I am prescribed methadone and so many mg’s of benzodiazepines for too too long. I am alone 99% if the time. I used to be a handsome and intelligent guy. Now I want to die but I worry it is so rare to be human there may be an angry God waiting.
Hey if u need a pen pal I'm here. Writing from greensboro nc.!!!
I hope my death makes more sense than my life
But this does not make evolutionary sense: why does a self-destructive behaviour that induces pleasure in the brain get pass down?
why do people self-harm? Simple... it is so they can be the ones in control of how much they get hurt. So they can be the ones in control of the pain rather than the pain being in control of them. So that when the last ounce of blood falls to the ground they know that they were able to choose this pain. Why? because they can finally control that part that has hurt them so greatly.
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents.
She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
Im 0 days sober:)
I just do under my eyes just because i like how it look wtf is wrong with this people (self harm)weak people
5:33 🍺
I self harm just so I won't commit s*icide.
do you want to talk about it i tried to kill myself with knife but i couldent so i have many scars on my body i feel bad everytime i look
😃😃😃😃😃
harakiri
When I was 11 I did it on my thigh so no one can see it.
I still don’t get it, humans are becoming weaker.
This was fabulous! Very interesting and it makes perfect sense. I am 36 and haven't cut in 16 years. But I remember what I was thinking the times I did it I just didn't understand why that as a coping mechanism. I was desperately trying to escape the emotional pain. Later in life I found myself suddenly addicted to percocet. Didn't realize until after I was chemically dependent, that it was oxy and Tylenol. I'd never been attracted to downers before despite having plenty of accessibility. I've been off those nasty things since the beginning of 2018 thank God but watching this helped me understand how that happened..
I'm a 27 years old man. My mind is in so much pain. Almost 4 months ago, in an extremely distressing and painful emotional situation, I hit my head against the headboard of my bed. Actually, that same day in the afternoon, I was with my girlfriend that I love so much. She always shared her talks with her other male coworkers and I was absolutely okay with that. I never showed any insecurity. Now almost 4 months ago, I was sitting with her in a resturant, and showed her the profile picture of my PhD female class fellow from whatsapp. And guess what? In a very disrespectful manner, she left the resturant immediately. That phd classmate of mine is married and has a daughter too. From afternoon till midnight, I kept on explaining to my girlfriend through whatsapp that my classmate is already married and I only talk to her in a very formal way. In the resturant, she had herself checked my messages and discovered nothing flirty or informal. I even sent my girlfriend the voice messages of that girl that the conversation was purely academic, related to phD classes. She did not listen at all and said extremely hurtful things. I don't know what happened to me that night, my girlfriend I loved so much not listening to me at all and showing apathy drove me insane and I smashed my head against the headboard of my bed in my room. Now I have a minor cut on my forehead. People can't really notice it but I so much wish it fades away over time. It has impacted my self esteem quite negatively. All the time, I am conscious of myself. Every morning I wake up and get scared by seeing myself in the mirror as it reminds me my disturbing situation. I repeatedly keep on asking myself questions like how could I do that to myself. But believe me, that moment was emotionally intensely suffocating and stressful for me. I wanted to scream alot to ease my pain that night but did not wish to disturb my parents.
She used to tell me that men praise her beauty and I always showed no insecurity and laughed and told her that yes she deserves this appraisal. Don't know how could she show such mistrust while my conversation with my phd classmate was purely academic related to research work. Another important thing to mention here is that I have never ever checked the phone of my girlfriend till this very day. I always valued trust above everything.
You should get someone who sees your worth
@@vismivijayan6361 thank you very much for your kind advice. The scar has faded now. I hope my mental wounds will fade too, hopefully.
You are a beautiful person. I do not know why your lover felt severely insecure in you guys relationship to not understand or have the will to listen to you. But I wish the best for you both, keep going strong. There's another person out there that will enjoy your love and warmth. We all need human connection to feel grounded and alive. I hope you were able to grow from this situation rather than blunder.